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00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:34Hello, welcome. Welcome to Taskmaster. Knock, knock. Who's there?
00:42Task. Task who? Task the way. Aha, aha, I like it.
00:48LAUGHTER
00:50It doesn't particularly make sense, and yet the allotted introduction time is filled and thus my contractual obligation
00:57and my next expensive holiday paid for.
01:00See you in Cancun, Pablo!
01:04Oh, please, welcome our five contestants.
01:09Amy Glethill!
01:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:12Armando Inucci!
01:15Joanna Payne!
01:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:18Joel Dummey!
01:19And Camille Nanjiani!
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:24And next to me, a man had told me that he gets up every morning really early
01:30because his postman has nice eyes and slinky hips.
01:34LAUGHTER
01:36Mmm.
01:37Little little Alex Hall!
01:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:41Hello, Mr Postman.
01:44Thank you for that.
01:45Prize task, then. What's the category this time?
01:48Well, Greg, this categorisation involves personification for your verification,
01:53as they've brought in an ordinary household object with the most personality.
01:57Hmm.
01:58What exactly is personality?
02:00I don't know, but Greg does, so he'll judge their objects fiercely,
02:04and then the winner of the episode will go home with five new inanimate friends.
02:07Perfect.
02:08Right, good.
02:09Kamal.
02:10What household objects have you brought in with personality?
02:12So, an object with the most personality.
02:14So, a few years ago, my friends and I, for New Year's Eve,
02:18we got an Airbnb, and there was an ice maker there.
02:20Um, and I'll tell you his name once we look at him.
02:24He...he...is?
02:25Oh!
02:27This is Flabbergasted Philip.
02:31And so, just to illustrate how much personality he has,
02:34here is him reacting to the sixth sense.
02:38He can't believe it!
02:39What a twist!
02:40Oh, Phil!
02:42Flabbergasted Philip did not see it coming.
02:46Oh, Phil!
02:48And, uh, one more.
02:50This is...
02:50There we go.
02:51...reacting to Joel pulling an egg out of his crotch.
02:55LAUGHTER
02:58This is strong from you.
02:59I'm a big fan of Flabbergasted Philip.
03:01Yeah.
03:02Um, what I've got in my head, what noise I think Flabbergasted Philip makes
03:05when he's Flabbergasted.
03:07Boo!
03:08LAUGHTER
03:10Joel, what have you brought in?
03:11A corkscrew.
03:12Right.
03:14LAUGHTER
03:15Yeah.
03:16Um, that's got so much personality.
03:18Well, I didn't expect you just to have brought in any old corkscrew.
03:21Yeah, but look how...
03:22Because then when you...
03:23Every time you get a bit of wine, you open it up and it goes...
03:27Oh, it's wine time!
03:31LAUGHTER
03:31I think it goes the other way, doesn't it?
03:34And then...
03:35It goes...
03:37Oh, it's wine time!
03:38And he goes...
03:39Now!
03:41LAUGHTER
03:42Good.
03:43Good.
03:44Good.
03:45Good.
03:46Amanda, have you brought in something better than a corkscrew?
03:50I love this task, actually, because it made me just look at everything.
03:53And in the office, the hole puncher next to the printer
03:56does look like someone's dropped a safe onto a duck.
04:01LAUGHTER
04:02This is his actual house.
04:04LAUGHTER
04:05LAUGHTER
04:10Oh, and the duck's definitely dead.
04:12Oh, it's dead.
04:14Aw!
04:15Strong.
04:16Visual and strong.
04:18Amy.
04:19I've brought in lovely Linda.
04:21A pregnancy pillow.
04:24There she is.
04:25Ooh!
04:29And you get in there, you sort of...
04:32You can hold it, and she holds you back,
04:34and you're never sad ever again.
04:36Can I tell you something?
04:37Yeah.
04:37I have got one of these.
04:38Yes!
04:39Yes!
04:40And I didn't know it was a pregnancy pillow.
04:43I just thought,
04:44oh, this looks like a comfy thing.
04:46It's brilliant.
04:47My ex-boyfriend bought me this pregnancy pillow,
04:50and then he never had to hug me again.
04:54LAUGHTER
04:54Oh, no.
04:55Diane, what have you brought in?
04:57I've brought in my gnome pig.
04:59Gnome pig!
05:00Gnome pig!
05:01LAUGHTER
05:05So...
05:05Oh, my God!
05:08Oh, I hate him!
05:10You're not the only one.
05:11I first found him 25 years ago,
05:13and he nearly ended my marriage.
05:16Because I found him in a garden centre,
05:18and he's about that tall.
05:20Oh, my God!
05:20Where do you ever see a gnome sitting on a pig?
05:23It's incredible.
05:24Oh, he's sitting on the pig!
05:26He's sitting on the pig!
05:28And my husband was adamant
05:30that we weren't going to put him in the garden,
05:31and said he hopes that somebody wins,
05:34and finally he can be away from our life.
05:37But I don't,
05:38and I wish I hadn't said that now,
05:39because I want more than one point for him.
05:41Yeah!
05:42LAUGHTER
05:43So the category is
05:44an ordinary householder object
05:46with the most personality.
05:48I think because Joel did such a lovely job
05:50of giving his courtroom personality,
05:52I'm going to give him two points.
05:53Two to Joel.
05:54Two to Joel.
05:54Squash duck, lovely Linda.
05:56Three points.
05:57So, three to Armando, three to A.
05:58Yes.
05:58OK.
05:59And, erm...
06:00Four points to...
06:02Gnome pig.
06:03Ah!
06:03And it would have been five points
06:05if Gnome pig didn't disgust me so much.
06:08LAUGHTER
06:08Flabbergasted Philip,
06:09except I feel like he's become a friend.
06:11I love that guy.
06:12Boo!
06:13There we go.
06:14Five points.
06:14Five points!
06:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:19Right, let's move on.
06:20What's next?
06:21A bit of boulderisation,
06:23a soupçon of suppression,
06:24and a whoops!
06:26of profanities.
06:34MUSIC PLAYS
06:43Hey, man.
06:44Joel Domit.
06:45I found it seeing you here.
06:47Yeah.
06:48Well, I just want to say,
06:49I think you are a complete...
06:54OK, thank you very much.
06:56Chair?
06:56I think you're an absolute...
06:59Just for the record,
07:00I think you're a massive...
07:04What does that mean?
07:05It's a compliment.
07:07I think you are an absolute...
07:09****
07:12What do you think of me?
07:13I think you're ****
07:14I think you're ****
07:15and ****
07:17OK.
07:18I think you're a twat.
07:21LAUGHTER
07:22OK.
07:31All right, so where...
07:34is the...
07:35massive ****?
07:37I've been so nice to hear.
07:39You have, actually, yeah.
07:41Do you know what I mean?
07:44Oh, what's this? Hang on.
07:47Oh, no, it's just a fire safety notice.
07:50Erm...
07:50So where is it?
07:51Well, it's very close to you.
07:53Am I hot?
07:55Yes.
07:55OK.
07:56Is it up there?
07:56No.
07:57No!
07:58Is it...?
07:59Oh, for **** sake!
08:02Honestly!
08:07What happened there?
08:08Oh!
08:11Something yourself something.
08:13Blank yourself blank.
08:15Most blank, necessary blank,
08:17when do you have blank minutes?
08:18It can't...
08:20I mean, it can't be...
08:21It can't be finger yourself silly.
08:23That would be outrageous.
08:25You just take the paper.
08:26You do whatever you want, Camille.
08:31Censor yourself.
08:34Unnecessarily.
08:36I'm genuinely intrigued now.
08:38I've sort of forgotten about the game.
08:39Not a game.
08:40It's not a game, it's a task.
08:41Most intriguing...
08:44Unnecessary censorship wins.
08:48You have...
08:5020 minutes.
08:51Your time starts now.
08:54Taskmaster.
08:55So, things that you're censored for...
08:59Are...
09:00Language.
09:01Nudity.
09:02Political views.
09:04LAUGHTER
09:06And this is where her career ended,
09:09when she was naked, shouting hate speech.
09:13APPLAUSE
09:16And Alex, of all the things we just heard,
09:19what is the phrase I'm thinking of?
09:20LAUGHTER
09:21Yeah, it's think of yourself silly.
09:23LAUGHTER
09:24I don't know why that was the first thing that came to mind.
09:27I don't...
09:28I don't really think that you would have asked that of us.
09:32LAUGHTER
09:32Why I liked Alex, you weren't making a joke.
09:34You were really just working through it.
09:36That can't be.
09:37Don't think it can be...
09:39LAUGHTER
09:40I'm more likely thinking that Joel was the only one you insulted there.
09:44I wouldn't have just insulted Joel.
09:45I wouldn't have thought that would have singled him out in this series.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:49But I did call Joel a twat, and that's...
09:53I just felt safe.
09:55LAUGHTER
09:56But he became an entire shade of red I'd never seen before.
10:00Yeah, it was awful.
10:00He genuinely doesn't like saying bad things about people, though.
10:03You know, the worst thing I've ever heard him say?
10:06Well, they are difficult to like.
10:08LAUGHTER
10:10OK, let's go.
10:11Good news, kids.
10:12It's story time with Miss Gledhill, first of all.
10:16This is a story called Alex and his massive ***.
10:20Once upon a time, there was a boy called Alex
10:23who was known across the land for having a ginormous ***.
10:27He'd brag about it to make appetites wet.
10:30One woman said she'd love to *** and share it with her twin sister.
10:37Alex proposed.
10:39On their wedding night, he popped it on the table with one hand
10:42and asked her to *** it.
10:44She tried.
10:45But it was so big, it made her eyes water.
10:50Alex waited till she was asleep and *** off himself.
10:54*** so loudly that the wife ran in alarmed.
10:59She saw it had softened.
11:02Her eyes didn't water any more.
11:05She really loved it.
11:09LAUGHTER
11:13This is a story called Alex and his massive onion.
11:18Once upon a time, there was a boy called Alex
11:21who was known across the land for having a ginormous onion.
11:25He'd brag about it to make appetites wet.
11:28One woman said she'd love to cook it right up
11:32and share it with her twin sister.
11:35Alex proposed.
11:36On their wedding night, he popped it on the table with one hand
11:41and asked her to chop it.
11:43She tried.
11:44But it was so big, it made her eyes water.
11:48Alex waited till she was asleep and browned it off himself.
11:53Frying so loudly that the wife ran in alarmed.
11:57She saw it had softened.
12:00Her eyes didn't water any more.
12:03She really loved it.
12:09APPLAUSE
12:13I knew I recognised your voice.
12:16I wasted a fortune on those phone lines in the 90s.
12:20Round it off yourself.
12:23Shall we have a brief interval?
12:25I think we should.
12:25All right, then it's time for a brief interval.
12:27Off you go.
12:27Alex, good luck.
12:32We let him bring his guinea pig in today.
12:34It's dead, but he hasn't noticed.
12:36We'll see you in a bit.
12:49Hello!
12:51Welcome back to the start of part two,
12:53where a cast are busy censoring things unnecessarily.
12:57But what's the key criteria I need to judge them on, Alex?
13:00It's the most...
13:02Whoops!
13:02Whoops!
13:04Who wins.
13:06Next up, he's the creative mastermind of a lot of the greatest comedy
13:09to come out of the UK in the last 30 years,
13:11so this is bound to be something rather special.
13:14LAUGHTER
13:17Armando Iannucci's unnecessary censorship.
13:22Right, here we go.
13:23Right, so you know what you're doing immediately, do you?
13:25I think so.
13:26Don't you?
13:28That's me.
13:28Bit of hair there.
13:30Eyes.
13:33Right.
13:34Bit of pixelating.
13:39Right, so here we go.
13:41Censorship.
13:42Right, ready?
13:45Old MacDonald had a farm.
13:47Eeeh!
13:49Eeeh!
13:49Eeeh!
13:50Eeeh!
13:51And on that farm he had some...
13:54Eeeh!
13:55Eeeh!
13:56Eeeh!
13:57Eeeh!
13:57Eeeh!
13:58Eeeh!
13:59Eeeh!
13:59Eeeh!
13:59Eeeh!
13:59With a...
14:00Eeeh!
14:01Eeeh!
14:03Eeeh!
14:06Here...
14:06Here a...
14:08Eeeh!
14:08There a...
14:09Eeeh!
14:09Everywhere a...
14:13Old MacDonald had a farm.
14:15Eeeh!
14:16Eeeh!
14:17Eeeh!
14:23Eeeh!
14:23Eeeh!
14:24Eeeh!
14:24It's not like...
14:25Eeeh!
14:26Eeeh!
14:27Eeeh!
14:27Eeeh!
14:29Is there a time limit?
14:30Am I done?
14:31Or do I do more?
14:32I...
14:33I feel like you might have done enough.
14:34OK.
14:40During the break, I said to them,
14:42I think I might look like I'm having a nervous break.
14:45LAUGHTER
14:46I have a question.
14:48Yes.
14:48Why did it say, help me?
14:51LAUGHTER
14:51Well...
14:52Well, I think that's rather evident.
14:55LAUGHTER
14:56I just felt like writing it.
14:59LAUGHTER
15:00It's absolutely fascinating.
15:02Yeah, it all happened very quickly, didn't it, Amanda?
15:03It did, yeah.
15:04You rushed in, you did that.
15:05Yeah.
15:05And then rushed out again.
15:07Did you find me in the end?
15:08I think I just wandered off into a park.
15:11LAUGHTER
15:13He was...
15:13He was still doing it in the park, yeah.
15:15Yeah.
15:16And he's ducked on there, and I threw a safe onto one of the ducks.
15:19LAUGHTER
15:21Wow.
15:22Who's next?
15:22Let's try and find something that's, you know, less frightening.
15:25Well, Greg, we're actually going to see all three of the remaining
15:27attempts at unnecessary censorship with Joanna, Joel and Kamel.
15:32It's really hot today, isn't it?
15:33Yeah, yeah, it's warm.
15:34Oh, my God, it's balmy.
15:36And the air conditioner's not working?
15:38We don't have A.C. here, I'm so sorry.
15:40Are you not used to this?
15:42Oh, my God.
15:44No, not this kind of heat.
15:45This is too much.
15:48I feel I'm going to overheat.
15:50Hey, do you have any scissors?
15:52Oh, thank you.
15:53Don't run with them.
15:55I'm not going to run with them, I'm not going to run.
15:57It's too hot.
15:58There.
16:13Oh!
16:16All right.
16:29Oh, that's much better.
16:34Oh, that's much better.
16:47Hey guys. Hey, sorry. We're doing a television show, and if you sign this, we can unblur your face.
16:53Okay. Is that all right? Yeah, okay. Should I sign for him?
16:56Yeah, yeah, sign for legal guardian, I suppose, all that stuff. It's a lovely view, isn't it?
17:01Yeah.
17:01Yeah. Beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you.
17:20Oh, that hit the spot.
17:25You look better. Oh, it's breezy now, isn't it? Lovely.
17:34Come on. What's going on with the...
17:37Oh, um, I was born without nipples. All the men in my family are born without nipples.
17:44You know what they called me in school? No nipple, Nanjiani.
17:48You see? There's nothing there. It's just...
17:51You should ask before you touch.
17:58I don't know what the hell's going on.
18:01There's double layers of...unnecessary because male nipples don't need to be censored anyway.
18:05Plus, I don't...I don't got any.
18:08Oh, my God.
18:09This has all freaked me out so much, I've almost forgotten that Joanna seemed to be ramming things into her
18:16backside.
18:19And, ostensibly, Joel's VT showed him revealing his penis to a child.
18:24With permission, he signed the floor. With permission.
18:27I'm feeling a bit better.
18:29Yeah.
18:30I wouldn't get too comfortable.
18:33What was it?
18:34Censor yourself unnecessarily. Most unnecessary censorship wins.
18:38Unnecessary? Most unnecessary.
18:40I'm giving Amy five points because there was no need to censor any of that because it was a lovely
18:43story about an onion.
18:44There were things in all of the others that should have been censored, so I'm giving everybody else four points.
18:49Right. Whoa.
18:50Whoa. OK, five, four, four, four, four, four.
18:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:55OK, what are the scores right now, Alex?
18:57Right, it's close. This time, Amy and Joanna are in joint second on eight points.
19:01Kamels in the lead with nine points.
19:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:06Right, let's have another one, please.
19:08Well, I have a lovely one right here with bells on.
19:11Mm-hmm.
19:30Wow.
19:34Wow!
19:39Are you going to fire me out of a cannon or what's...
19:43I'm not sure yet.
19:47You look good.
19:48Thank you very much. Safety first.
19:51Hello, Joanna.
19:52Hello!
19:53You look like a safety-conscious tourist.
19:59BUZZER
20:00Hi, Kamel.
20:01Alex.
20:05You're covered in bells.
20:07Oh, yeah.
20:08Like a sort of modern jester, is it?
20:11Very much so.
20:12Would it be inappropriate to call you a bellend?
20:14LAUGHTER
20:15Open up the task.
20:18Take the most photos featuring at least 50% of the taskmaster's assistant.
20:25That's you.
20:26The taskmaster's assistant must stay within the arena...
20:29And will run when you clap.
20:31Mm-hmm.
20:32The arena is the courtyard.
20:34You must wear your blindfold correctly at all times and must not run.
20:39Oh, I see.
20:41I'm going to hear you.
20:43You have ten minutes and a maximum of 24 pictures.
20:47Your time starts when you have donned your blindfold.
20:50Right, so I've got to capture you using these things.
20:53Taking pictures with my ears.
20:54I think this will be the hard bit, putting this on.
20:58When that's on, I'll start the clock.
21:00Right.
21:00There we go.
21:0124 pictures, ten minutes.
21:02Don't waste your pictures.
21:03There we go.
21:03Ooh!
21:04Ooh, that sounded painful.
21:06Was it as painful as it sounded?
21:07What, sorry?
21:08Was it painful?
21:09I'm also hard of hearing.
21:11That's the other problem.
21:12Ah, right.
21:12It's OK.
21:16You should think about the things that the bricks of Hampton Court
21:20have witnessed over the years.
21:22This feels like a real comedown, doesn't it?
21:25A hard-of-hearing man with boggly eyes.
21:28A grown woman saying,
21:29so I've got to take pictures with my ears.
21:32But I am very much looking forward to it.
21:34Well, first to clap and snap, it's comedian Amy Gledhill
21:37and TV presenter Joel Edmonds.
21:41Have you got your blindfold on?
21:42Yes.
21:44OK.
21:4624 pictures.
21:47All right.
21:48And the timer started.
21:51Hello?
21:53OK, I guess that means the time started.
21:55OK, so if I...
22:14I can hear you little bells tinkling.
22:17Where are you?
22:18I'm fine.
22:20Ah!
22:23The bells are glass!
22:25Ah!
22:26Ah!
22:29Ah!
22:29Ah!
22:30Ah!
22:31Ah!
22:41Ah!
22:43Ah!
22:45Ah!
22:53The bells have stopped.
22:55You're taking the top off
23:12You're so close you creepy creepy bail man
23:21What part of the body is that?
23:24Well, I'm sort of content
23:26It's what?
23:33That's confusing
23:38Ten seconds
23:39Ten seconds
23:40Ten seconds
23:48Where do you think you are?
23:49I don't know
23:50Oh, I didn't think I was here
23:52Well, sort of as I imagined
23:58Not a lot of dignity there
23:59But good, I thought
24:01It's really scary
24:03Because you're blindfolded
24:04And it's cobbly
24:05And there's a creepy creepy bail man
24:07Running around
24:07I would very much like
24:09Creepy creepy bail man
24:10To catch on
24:12Joel, at one point
24:13Alex was lying on the floor
24:15And you felt
24:16His heel
24:17Up to his sock
24:19All the way up his leg
24:20And then he spoke to you
24:21And you still couldn't work out
24:23What position he was in
24:24Yeah, it was difficult
24:26I think I became mesmerised
24:27By his thighs
24:29It happens
24:30Okay
24:31This is the end of part two
24:32Whether you like it or not
24:45Hello
24:46Welcome back to part three
24:48Where this idiot's been prancing about
24:49In the extreme heat
24:50Covered in bells
24:51Yes
24:52They have to take the most photos
24:54Featuring at least 50% of me
24:56And can take a maximum of 24 pictures
24:58Also, I must run
24:59When they clap
25:00And I'm pretty sure
25:01That's the only bit
25:02Kamel heard
25:03So here he is now
25:05As well as Armando
25:06And Joanna
25:16Alex?
25:17Alex?
25:18Alex, are you there?
25:19Can we call a timeout?
25:21I have something very important
25:22To ask you
25:24Alex?
25:26I have a medical emergency
25:35Alex, I have a medical emergency
25:36Talk to me
25:37What is the problem?
25:40Right
25:54I just realized
25:55It's really hot
25:56And if I clap
25:57You have to run
26:09Are you enjoying running in the sun?
26:12No, I don't like
26:13If I make you run
26:15You might get tired
26:16And then stay still
26:25How many photos do you think you've taken, Jo?
26:27I think I've taken loads
26:29So
26:30You can enjoy your last 10 seconds
26:32Okay
26:32Go, Alex, go
26:34I've probably used them up
26:36So I'm just going to keep tapping
26:37Oh, really?
26:47Are you tired?
26:48Yes, I'm really tired
26:51Whoa
26:53Sweating paint
26:53Are you alright?
26:55No
26:56A cup of tea
26:56A cup of tea, yeah
26:57Yeah
26:57Yeah
27:00APPLAUSE
27:04As far as I can work out, Camille and Joanna just mainly used this task
27:08as an excuse to make him run around.
27:11I enjoyed it.
27:12Oh, yeah, we could tell because you were hooting like a mad woman.
27:16How did Amanda do? Was Amanda the most accurate?
27:19Amanda did do very well, but Camille was the only one who had a proper tactic,
27:22which was to stand as far away from the noise as possible,
27:24when you're more likely to get more of me in the field of vision.
27:27Cos I realised early on that he was ducking.
27:29Did you realise that, Chilp?
27:32I think that's the difference between me and Camille,
27:35cos, you know, he's an incredible actor and he knows the depth of field.
27:38Yeah. And I'm going like, ooh, bells!
27:43Joanna's tactic was to take 87 pictures.
27:4687?
27:47And we could only use the first 24 of them which weren't your best.
27:50Oh, my God.
27:51I can show you what they did if you want. Yes, show me.
27:53So the most photos of 50% of me was taken by Camille.
27:57He took 12.
27:58Oh!
27:59Amy and Armando both got ten photos of me.
28:02Joanna, six photos of me.
28:04Joel, just three out of 24.
28:07What?
28:08Oh, I'm shocked because I was like,
28:11I'm OK tanking this one just to make you miserable.
28:13And I won!
28:14LAUGHTER
28:16Five points.
28:18Well done.
28:19So that means Joel got one point, Joanna two points,
28:22joined second, Amy and Armando get four points,
28:24but the winner is Camille with five points.
28:25CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:26Well done, Camille.
28:27Lovely. Let's have one more task, please.
28:30Oh, yes.
28:30And just like when Greg goes for a run,
28:33this one involves a lot of staring.
28:35LAUGHTER
28:36MUSIC
28:41MUSIC
28:49Hello.
28:51Ooh.
28:52Joel.
28:53How's it going?
28:53Yeah, good.
28:54Shall I open this or...
28:56Yes.
28:56Are you going to banter?
28:57No, I just want to watch you put your glasses on.
28:59LAUGHTER
29:00Do not look away from this task.
29:03Put nine nuts and or nails in the nappy.
29:07Put pine nuts and stroke or nails...
29:11Do you want to try to read that one again?
29:13LAUGHTER
29:13Put pine nuts and stroke or nails in the nappy.
29:18Definitely.
29:19Put pine nuts...
29:20That's the bit I'm worried about.
29:22LAUGHTER
29:23LAUGHTER
29:27I read it so many times.
29:30I read it so many times.
29:31I read it so many times.
29:32Every time you look away,
29:35one minute will be added to your time.
29:37We have a maximum of 19 minutes.
29:40Fastest wins.
29:41Your time starts now.
29:43I did not really get a...
29:45Oh, you just looked away from the task.
29:49Put nine nuts.
29:51LAUGHTER
29:54The nine nuts is...
29:57LAUGHTER
29:59LAUGHTER
30:00I did so many times.
30:02I'm sorry.
30:04APPLAUSE
30:07I'm not sure we should bother saving the task.
30:09LAUGHTER
30:10I think we've had our fun with this, haven't we?
30:12LAUGHTER
30:12It's no secret.
30:14I'm losing this whole show.
30:16LAUGHTER
30:17I find reading the task the hard bit.
30:20LAUGHTER
30:22LAUGHTER
30:22It's not looking great for me.
30:24The only saving grace is I've got a fucking egg in my pocket.
30:29LAUGHTER
30:30APPLAUSE
30:31Let's do it, man.
30:32Two people up first.
30:33It's Joe.
30:34It's Kamel.
30:35It's Joe and Kamel.
30:37OK, so...
30:38One minute will be added to my time.
30:40I'm going to do a quick one.
30:41I'm going to give it a quick one to look around.
30:42Right, there's the nappy.
30:44Right, we're in nuts.
30:44Yes.
30:46HEH!
30:47HEH!
30:51You definitely just looked...
30:52I did.
30:53Yes, you did.
30:54HEH!
30:57HEH!
30:58HEH!
30:58Why was I still surprised?
31:00LAUGHTER
31:02HEH!
31:05HEH!
31:05HEH!
31:05In the nappy...
31:07HEH!
31:09HEH!
31:11HEH!
31:13HEH!
31:13HEH!
31:14He's always looked away from the top.
31:14No, I didn't.
31:15That time I did not.
31:18HEH!
31:19I think that's a party popper.
31:20I'm going to do it at the floor.
31:21Whoa!
31:23Um, I saw there was a hammer in here.
31:26UGH!
31:28HEH!
31:29That's just a hammer.
31:30Oh.
31:31Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
31:32Nine nuts.
31:33There's a nut in there.
31:36OK, that's a nut.
31:37Hey, we got a nut.
31:40It is a nut.
31:42It's so unpleasant.
31:45But nine nuts, God, that is a lot, isn't it?
31:48What is that?
31:49It's a nut!
31:53No?
31:54No, that was a tiny rubber ducky, and you know it.
31:57It is...
31:59an egg.
32:05Nuts.
32:05It's two nuts.
32:07Right.
32:08It's a nail. It's a nail!
32:10Put nine nuts or nails in the nut.
32:17I've got the nail.
32:18Is this guy holding something?
32:20Oh, my God.
32:22He's holding a nut.
32:24Oh, my God, are all the other things also holding nuts?
32:30Oh, wow, that's so small.
32:32What is it?
32:33It's a nut.
32:34Oh.
32:35There's something in there.
32:36He's going to have lots of nuts.
32:37One, two, three, four.
32:41Is this the nappy?
32:42You're making me take underwear off a doll.
32:45And that feels very wrong.
32:47If you want.
32:48If I want, none of this is what I want.
32:52I don't think it's big enough to hold everything.
32:54Oh, okay.
32:56So then this would be the nappy.
32:57So I did this for no reason.
33:00Oh, damn it.
33:02It's a nut.
33:04Okay?
33:05Oh, yeah.
33:06That's nine, baby.
33:08I have got nine nuts.
33:15Honestly, very proud of how it handled that.
33:17I've stilled the clock.
33:18Wow!
33:19I feel like I nailed that.
33:23I went through a few emotions with you, Kamel, during that.
33:27Yeah.
33:27My fear was that people in Hollywood would be watching
33:30and they would see you jump with fear over a jack-in-the-box
33:33that you'd set yourself.
33:35And then, of course, we hit upon the thing that I think
33:38everyone will remember you for, and that's taking tiny pants
33:42off a doll.
33:46No, you said nappy.
33:47I didn't know there was a nappy because we weren't allowed
33:49to look away from the card.
33:51Mm.
33:51And I thought, well, I don't think I could fit nine nails
33:54in this baby doll's underwear.
33:57LAUGHTER
33:59Joanna was absolutely on point.
34:01A sense of absolute authority.
34:04Particularly proved by, right, this is a party popper.
34:07I'm going to fire it on the floor.
34:10Why?
34:11Why?
34:11I don't want to take any of the crew out.
34:13Joanna had a very good tactic because every time you look away,
34:16one minute will be added to your time, and you said,
34:18right, we're going to have a little look at the beginning.
34:19Yeah.
34:19Yeah.
34:20But if you just carried on, it's every time you look away,
34:22you could look away once, gather all nine...
34:24Oh, my God!
34:26We thought you were going to do that.
34:27You started doing that and then you stopped yourself.
34:29Oh, my God, that's unbelievable.
34:32Kamau, you looked away so many times.
34:34It took you 12 minutes, 15 seconds to find the nine things,
34:36and you looked away 78 times.
34:39Oh, my God!
34:40Over an hour and a half.
34:41Oh, my God.
34:42Over an hour and a half compared to Joanna,
34:44five minutes, 40.
34:45Oh, thank God.
34:46Worked away 31 times, so that's 36 minutes, 40 seconds.
34:49Oh, my God!
34:50Right.
34:50Now it's Amy and Joel's turn to put pine nuts in the nappy.
34:55Is that a nut?
35:01It's a nut.
35:02Oh, great.
35:02Are you allergic to nuts?
35:04Oh, no.
35:05Yeah, no.
35:06Not for the nails.
35:07Not for the nails, no.
35:09That's a slight look away.
35:10Oh!
35:15Nut.
35:17What's a nut?
35:20Duck.
35:22It's wet.
35:24It's wet.
35:25It's wet and that's soft.
35:26That's like a hammer or something.
35:28Mm-hm.
35:29OK.
35:29OK.
35:30OK.
35:30OK.
35:32OK.
35:32OK.
35:33Oh, ice.
35:34Ice balls.
35:35What would an ice ball be?
35:36What is that?
35:38It's icy.
35:39There could be something inside the ice.
35:45Oh, it's a duck.
35:47It's a goddamn duck.
35:49It's a finger.
35:50Oh!
35:51A nail.
35:52Nail!
35:53These have to melt!
35:55Oh, yeah.
35:57Right, OK.
36:01Is that not?
36:04Oh, ha!
36:05Oh, yes!
36:06Four of the nails there.
36:09Can I get them off?
36:10Oh, baby.
36:12It's a duck.
36:13It's a fucking duck.
36:15Please be a nut.
36:17Yes!
36:18That is a nut.
36:20Oh.
36:24Are you trying to melt an ice ball?
36:26Yeah.
36:28It's going to be in one of these, isn't it?
36:30It's going to be in one of these.
36:31Hammer.
36:32There's a hammer.
36:36Yes!
36:37Alex, it's nearly out.
36:39Great news.
36:40Ah!
36:41That's out.
36:41That's out.
36:44Oh, it's a nail!
36:46Oh!
36:47This is great!
36:49That's out!
36:49That's out quick as a flash.
36:51Last one.
36:53Nails.
36:54I haven't got many nails.
36:55There's got to be, like, more nails.
36:57I didn't even know when we'd find nails.
36:59Uh...
36:59The wall?
37:01Oh!
37:02Oh!
37:04Stop it!
37:05Where's my hammer?
37:08I need three more.
37:09Oh!
37:09Oh!
37:10That's so fun.
37:12This is a nail nail!
37:14Oh!
37:15It just came out!
37:16Ah!
37:17Some clock!
37:18I've stopped the clock.
37:21Oh, that felt cool.
37:2230 seconds.
37:24Yeah!
37:25Oh!
37:25I've always wanted to use the other side of the hammer.
37:30I've stopped the clock.
37:31Yes!
37:35Well, I often liken Joel to a child.
37:38In this series.
37:41And he didn't disappoint.
37:42He was the only person to put nuts in his mouth.
37:45Um, he shouted,
37:46Oh!
37:46That's so fun to pull out!
37:48And I had to nail my favourite quote.
37:50I've always wanted to use the other side of a hammer!
37:53So great.
37:54You know, it's all fun hitting them in.
37:56Mm.
37:57But I've never, I've never had the confidence to pull them out.
38:01You started off childlike as well, I thought.
38:04There was actually a still where I thought,
38:06Oh, Amy looks ten years of age there.
38:08Yeah.
38:08A little face.
38:09Oh, I'm all wet.
38:10Oh!
38:12They look cute.
38:14You certainly got rid of any innocence once you started defrosting
38:17ice cubes with your cleavage.
38:19LAUGHTER
38:20I found myself going,
38:21Ooh, Matrix!
38:22Ooh!
38:24Well, well, yeah, she did do well.
38:26She did it in nine minutes, eight seconds.
38:29Joel, 18 minutes, 48 seconds.
38:31But Joel only looked away six times in total.
38:33Wow.
38:34By far the least.
38:35Amy looked away ten times in total.
38:38OK.
38:38Which means you scored 24 minutes, 48.
38:41Amy, 19 minutes, eight seconds.
38:43She's in the lead at the moment.
38:44Yeah.
38:45One person left to see.
38:47And is the fact that you've kept me to the end...
38:50It's interesting, isn't it?
38:51Because I might come across as a lunatic.
38:53LAUGHTER
38:54Well, I'm sure we're all looking forward to seeing old McDonalds.
38:58LAUGHTER
39:00Right, that's the end of part three.
39:02Soon, someone will win five ordinary household items
39:05and then have to celebrate with them on stage
39:07in what is said to be the blandest end credit sequence
39:10we've ever had on the show.
39:12We'll see you in a minute.
39:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
39:23Hello!
39:25Here we are, then.
39:26It's the last part of the show
39:27and the first item on the agenda
39:29is completing a task involving some intense concentration.
39:32Yes, because they have to stare at the task the whole time
39:36while trying to source nine nuts and or nails.
39:39And if you're after a good concentration face,
39:41then look no further than the final attempt with Armando.
39:46LAUGHTER
39:47Ooh, is that a nappy?
39:50Got the nappy.
39:51Right.
39:54Ha-ha-ha-ha.
39:55I've got a nut.
39:56Yes.
39:58Actually quite therapeutic.
40:01Right, I'm done with this.
40:02OK.
40:03I'm bored with glop.
40:05Poppers or something.
40:06I mean, as in party poppers.
40:09There we go.
40:10Like that.
40:11Ow.
40:11Did something come out of that?
40:12Yeah, hit me.
40:13Yeah.
40:13So if I do...
40:14That.
40:17Oh, it's a nut.
40:18Yes.
40:19Whoa!
40:21Right.
40:23Oh, hang on.
40:24Can't go wrong with a sock.
40:26All right.
40:28Oh, yes, there's a nut.
40:30I forgot that I could actually hold things up in front of me.
40:32I actually forgot the use of my eyes.
40:36Why are you looking up so high?
40:39Well...
40:40Yes, I could look down, couldn't I, while I'm doing all this?
40:44Ah.
40:46Oh, the hammer.
40:48What's this?
40:49What the fuck is this?
40:51I don't know.
40:52That's...
40:53That's disappointing.
40:57Oh!
40:58Oh!
40:59Oh!
41:00The gold mine.
41:01If he dies.
41:03Yeah.
41:04Oh!
41:12Who's that?
41:14Jimmy.
41:15Is he like a nut?
41:17He'll nut you.
41:18Jimmy Nuts.
41:19Jimmy Nuts.
41:20If it is, it's weak.
41:23No, it's not Jimmy Nuts.
41:24Ooh!
41:26Something fell there.
41:28Here's a nut.
41:29And while I'm here, I might as well just do a general sweep round,
41:32as I turn.
41:36LAUGHTER
41:43Stop the clock.
41:49It was Jimmy Nuts, not Jimmy Nuts.
41:51Exactly.
41:52Jimmy Nuts.
41:52Yeah, I worked out now.
41:54I worked out now.
41:55I just got it.
41:56LAUGHTER
41:58There was character work there.
42:00Oh!
42:01The hammer!
42:02LAUGHTER
42:03I think this episode has set you free.
42:06Can't wait for the finale.
42:08LAUGHTER
42:09Well, he was doing well.
42:10He was quite quick.
42:1111 minutes, 11 seconds.
42:13Oh!
42:13But there were 35 looks away.
42:15So, scores-wise, obviously, Kamal, one point with an hour and a half.
42:19Amanda, you were second last.
42:21You get two points.
42:2246 minutes in total.
42:23Joanna, third.
42:24Three points.
42:25Joel, second.
42:26Four points.
42:27The winner was Amy Gledhill with 19 minutes and five points.
42:29CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:32OK, everyone.
42:33Please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show!
42:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:49Ask correctly at all times.
42:52Tell your team-mate when to stop with their mop.
42:57The person whose mop stops closest to their face,
43:01without touching their face, wins the round.
43:06The mop-bearer must slowly walk at a constant pace
43:10and softly squeak at a constant volume.
43:14LAUGHTER
43:16Best team after five rounds wins?
43:20It's a team task.
43:21Joanna and Armando are one team, of course.
43:24And then we've got the team of three.
43:25It's like a squeaky joust.
43:27It's what Henry VIII used to do with...
43:30Let's squeak joust!
43:41Stop!
43:42Eek!
43:43Stop!
43:44Ooh!
43:45Ooh!
43:47Stay there.
43:48I'm going to measure, I think.
43:49Mm.
43:49From the nose to the mop.
43:51We have 60 centimetres to the middle of the mop.
43:55We have 45 centimetres.
43:56The team of two are one-nil.
43:57Oh!
43:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:02That's very impressive.
44:04On the whistle, squeak.
44:06Eek!
44:08Eek!
44:09Eek!
44:10Eek!
44:11Eek!
44:13Eek!
44:14Eek!
44:15Eek!
44:16Eek!
44:16Stop!
44:17Eek!
44:18Eek!
44:18Eek!
44:19Oh!
44:21He struck.
44:22The mop touched the face.
44:24The team of two win again!
44:25Oh!
44:26Oh!
44:26Oh!
44:27Oh!
44:28Oh!
44:31So close.
44:32Round three.
44:332-0 to the team of two so far, Greg.
44:34Come on, team.
44:35Ready?
44:36Squeak.
44:37Eek!
44:38Eek!
44:39Eek!
44:40Eek!
44:41Eek!
44:42Eek!
44:43Eek!
44:44Eek!
44:45Eek!
44:46Oh!
44:49Oh, that was good.
44:51Eek!
44:52Team is way back in.
44:53It's 2-1.
44:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:56Can I be Amy?
44:57Yeah!
44:58Oh!
44:59I'm cool with that.
44:59I'm cool with that.
45:00If you wouldn't mind raising your mops.
45:02Do I look good?
45:03You look fantastic.
45:04Masks on.
45:05Do not slow down.
45:06And squeak.
45:08Eek!
45:09Eek!
45:10Eek!
45:11Eek!
45:11Eek!
45:12Eek!
45:14Eek!
45:15Eek!
45:16Eek!
45:17Eek!
45:17Stop!
45:18Eek!
45:18Stop!
45:19Oh!
45:22Oh!
45:22I think it's fine.
45:24I think it's fine.
45:25It's a centimetre.
45:27I've gone...
45:27Wait, really?
45:28The team of two have won again.
45:30It's 3-1 to the team of three!
45:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:34It is so great.
45:35The best celebration from Amy for a loss there.
45:39OK, it's the final round, Greg.
45:40Again, constant pace.
45:42No slowing down.
45:42And squeak.
45:44Eek!
45:44Eek!
45:45Eek!
45:46Eek!
45:47Eek!
45:48Eek!
45:49Eek!
45:49Eek!
45:50Eek!
45:50Stop!
45:52Eek!
45:52Oh!
45:53This is close.
45:55OK, to the edge of the mop this time.
45:5831 centimetres.
46:00Whoa!
46:00To the edge of the mop.
46:0213 centimetres.
46:03They've won again at 4-1.
46:04The team of two wins!
46:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:08We'll add that to the scores.
46:09Come down and join me!
46:11Well done.
46:17What an enjoyable game.
46:19Joanna and Armando were in sync, weren't they?
46:21In sync.
46:22They won 4-1, which of course converts to 5-2 in points.
46:26So it's two points to the team of three.
46:285 to Joanna and Armando!
46:30CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:32So, a close episode.
46:35The team of two both got 18 points.
46:38They're both in second place because Amy's got 19 points!
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:54Damien Jettel!
46:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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