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00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this off day
00:35Hello! Hello! Welcome to Taskmaster, a show that seeks to take a reputation and reimagine it.
00:42Cows are cows, aren't they? But imagine a cow being forced to tap dance. What is it then?
00:46It's not a cow, that's for sure. So, let us open the shed and chase them into the field.
00:52The farmer has plans for Daisy and her friends and you'll never drink a glass of milk in the same
00:58way again.
01:00My God, it's hard to keep writing these intros.
01:04Regardless...
01:06Please welcome back, Amy Glendale!
01:12Armando Iannucci!
01:15Joanna Payne!
01:17Joel Donnett!
01:19And Kamel Nanjiani!
01:24And next to me, a man who says we should go back to a more simple time
01:29when children had manners.
01:30There was a bobby on every street and women were, let's just say, a little more hussute downstairs.
01:38His words, I don't know what he meant either.
01:40It's Little Elliot's head!
01:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:47Sorry, I don't want to make eye contact with anyone in the audience.
01:49OK, good.
01:50Hello, Greg. What's the warm-up chat?
01:52Well, I want to say hello to you, Greg, and I want to say hello to all my people watching
01:55at home.
01:56I see you, and you see me, and you like puzzles.
01:59So, if you're one of my people, I'm going to show you a puzzle, press pause,
02:04and then press unpause when you've solved it.
02:05Here we go. Good luck.
02:07Not that one.
02:08LAUGHTER
02:13There we go. That's my bit done, Greg.
02:15Oh, God.
02:18Let's crack on with the prize task.
02:21Get this. They've all brought in the best bumpy thing.
02:25Ooh. Ooh.
02:26This, this is, this is a bumpy, it's a bumpy thing.
02:31It doesn't matter.
02:31Um, but what bumpy thing have they brought in?
02:34It's got a P under his bum.
02:35Bumpy.
02:37Well, I'm sure Greg will score this really quickly and fairly
02:40with five points for the best bumpy thing.
02:42So, go on then, Greg.
02:43Go for it, mate.
02:45Amy, hello. Hello, hello.
02:47You all right? You got some bumpy stuff?
02:49Yeah. Can I just ask what her suit means?
02:51Mary.
02:52Mary. Mary, yeah.
02:53OK, that's all right.
02:55Yeah.
02:55What did you think it might have meant?
02:59More...
03:00Trying to think of a better word for open.
03:07Good.
03:09Hairy's fine, that's good.
03:10You thought that Alex wanted ladies to be a little more dilated?
03:16Yeah.
03:20Right, Amy, tell me about your bumpy thing.
03:29It just didn't jump well from the last time.
03:35I have brought in a plane ticket from London to Venice.
03:41Yes, she has.
03:42Yeah.
03:43A notoriously turbulent flight route.
03:45Here's the ticket.
03:46And if you fly specifically in March, that's when it's most turbulent, but never too turbulent,
03:52where it's frightening.
03:53It's just a little...
03:56Oh, gosh.
03:57Unfortunately, it's one way, so you will stay in Venice, because I'm not buying you a return as well.
04:04I'm genuinely a bit flawed.
04:05I didn't expect you to bring a good thing in.
04:07Well done.
04:08LAUGHTER
04:09Armando, you can take us down, surely.
04:11I'll give a go, but I think you'll be surprised.
04:14All right.
04:14Well, let's go for something that's already very good, but maybe not accessible to everyone,
04:18and make it even better by making it bumpy.
04:21It's a braille menu to an Indian restaurant.
04:25Wow.
04:25Here we go.
04:25A braille curry menu.
04:27There it is.
04:28There we go.
04:29And, of course, the great thing is, if I score that badly, I will alienate the visually impaired community.
04:35Exactly.
04:37It may not be funny, but it's very clever.
04:41Hello, Joanna.
04:42Hello.
04:43I've brought in Mr. Bump.
04:47Here, is Joanna's Mr. Bump?
04:52Now, I made Mr. Bump when I was about 16 in school for an art project.
04:57Yes!
04:58Wow.
05:00He's on a glass bottle, which I've painted, and he's made with a papier-mâché,
05:05very bumpy head, and my parents have kept him in the shed at the bottom of their garden
05:10ever since I made him.
05:12It was only recently that I realised how awful that is, because they're always like,
05:17oh, yeah, we've got him on the shelf in the shed, and oh, look, he's still there,
05:20and he's never, ever been in the house.
05:24If you presented that to your parents when you were 16,
05:27I think you should count yourself lucky that you weren't sent to a boarding school.
05:31Hi, Joel.
05:32Hello.
05:32Hello.
05:33I've brought in a picture of my acne-ridden teenage face.
05:38Oh, no.
05:39Oh!
05:40And if you zoom in to the forehead...
05:43Is that braille?
05:44That looks like braille.
05:44That's braille.
05:46I've made the acne braille, and it says,
05:48don't worry, things get easier.
05:52Oh!
05:53So, try scoring that badly.
05:55Very good.
05:57Kamel.
05:58Hi.
05:58Hi there.
05:59What bumpy thing have you brought us?
06:01So, what's a really great bumpy thing to ride?
06:06A roller coaster.
06:09So, this, I brought in the original plans for the cyclone.
06:13It was made in 1927.
06:16So, you see, that's plans for that, and then there's some...
06:19It says, look at the bottom left corner.
06:22Do you want us to look at the bottom left?
06:24You seem lovely.
06:25Look at number 12.
06:26Number 12?
06:27Go to number 12.
06:28Number 12's there.
06:28You have herpes.
06:31See, top right.
06:33Right, OK, there we go.
06:34Just kidding, you don't have herpes.
06:36That's you, right, OK.
06:37Under the coaster.
06:38Under the coaster.
06:38Let's go there.
06:39Yep, there we go.
06:40It's actually not a big deal to have herpes.
06:42You shouldn't stigmatise.
06:43Turn this over and over.
06:46That was a bumpy ride.
06:48It was a bumpy ride.
06:50APPLAUSE
06:53That must be a relief for you as well.
06:56Yeah.
06:57LAUGHTER
06:59So, it's a roller coaster and an emotional roller coaster.
07:04I got it, yeah. Thank you.
07:06A lot of these are very sensible.
07:08Yeah.
07:09Joanna's little project.
07:10Oh, thank God.
07:11Right, Joanna, one point.
07:12LAUGHTER
07:15What's next?
07:16I don't know why.
07:17The flight to Venice.
07:18No!
07:19Yeah, you shouldn't be so tight.
07:20If you'd done a return flight, I'd have been in.
07:22It was really expensive!
07:25I don't speculate to accumulate.
07:26Two points.
07:27Two points.
07:27Well done, Amy.
07:28Shit!
07:29LAUGHTER
07:31Armando.
07:32OK.
07:32I think he'd forgotten the prize and he had a curry the night before.
07:35LAUGHTER
07:36And he brought that in.
07:37Three points.
07:37OK.
07:37Three to Armando.
07:39I actually found your braille thing absolutely adorable.
07:42I like the idea of you reassuring your teenage self.
07:45It's very sweet.
07:46But that...
07:47Oh, I mean, I loved all that.
07:49Five points to Kamel Nojani's emotional roller coaster.
07:54What's best?
07:55Good news, everyone, because this task is a bit of a turn-on.
07:59Ooh!
08:12Hello, Alex.
08:14Joel Patrick Domit.
08:15Oh, I love the full day.
08:16How do you feel about the table?
08:18The table itself?
08:20The table itself?
08:21It's all right.
08:23Solid.
08:24Four grand.
08:28Then I'd maybe expect a bit more.
08:32But I don't know what the task is.
08:33Maybe the table's going to come to life and dance and I have to do the same dance moves as
08:37the table.
08:38LED party lights.
08:40We know how to party in the UK.
08:42Yeah, with lights.
08:43Two of them.
08:44Big ones.
08:45Those aren't that big.
08:47You should see American lights.
08:50Shall I open this bad boy?
08:51Yes, please.
08:52JPD.
08:56Turn on the telly.
08:58You may not touch the telly.
09:01Fewest button presses wins.
09:03Your time starts now.
09:05That's the telly.
09:07That's the telly.
09:08Just one telly?
09:09Mm-hmm.
09:10So I'll just turn on the telly, right?
09:12Yes, please.
09:12Yeah, if you wouldn't mind.
09:13But what's your game here?
09:16What are you up to, Holmes?
09:23I really enjoyed the special ceremony.
09:27Shall we see some stuff?
09:28OK, well, Amy and Joanna are first up to take control.
09:33Fewest button presses.
09:35OK, well, I want to go straight in for these, but it's obviously going to be wrong.
09:38Turn on the telly.
09:41We're going blue, are we?
09:42We're going blue.
09:44Oh, my God!
09:52OK.
09:56Can you just turn it off as well?
09:57That's two button presses.
09:59OK, right, OK.
10:00I'm going to go in and try all of them, because it's going to turn something on.
10:04That's not turning anything on.
10:05Oh, and I keep pressing it, don't I?
10:09No.
10:09Not that one.
10:12Oh, it's not red.
10:14Oh!
10:14Oh, that's nicer.
10:16Right, I'm going to press them all.
10:18Right.
10:19It's not an egg.
10:20It's not an egg.
10:21Can you turn it off?
10:27I've got two batteries and lint.
10:34That's the printer.
10:36Oh, wow!
10:39You must now also find and eat a donut before you finish the task.
10:42Is this a donut?
10:43It was.
10:44It was.
10:45It was!
10:45You must now also find and eat a donut before you finish the task.
10:49Well, it was probably this, wasn't it?
10:51It was that, yeah.
10:52I'm going pink.
10:53Pink.
10:54It just did something.
10:55Oh!
10:56Oh, my God.
10:58Batters in a duck.
10:59I think you pressed all the buttons now.
11:00Do you remember what they all did?
11:02Oh, no.
11:04I'm going to do this one again.
11:08It's not doing anything.
11:09Oh, for God.
11:10It's absolutely ridiculous.
11:13Gold!
11:14If I can just look, I don't need to...
11:16Oh!
11:17Oh!
11:18I've got to just check this from the beginning.
11:23Have I done it?
11:25I...
11:26Oh!
11:27Oh!
11:28Oh, my God, do you need to turn it off?
11:30Turn these on.
11:32APPLAUSE
11:33Well done.
11:34You say, well done.
11:36Yeah, I shouldn't have said, well done.
11:37Right.
11:38I mean, the technique was actually the same.
11:40No lateral thinking.
11:42Just keep pressing buttons.
11:44You both noticed the golden one didn't do anything,
11:46but you didn't think there might be a clue.
11:48No, no.
11:49No, I thought it was broken.
11:50I thought it was just bad tasking.
11:55No, there's bad tasking in the air today.
12:00Joanna pressed 13 buttons in total.
12:03Amy, 21 buttons.
12:05It was not good.
12:07Oh.
12:07Right.
12:08You both had a nice doughnut, didn't you?
12:10Yes, that was good.
12:12I would have it whizzed up again.
12:14Yeah.
12:14Yeah, genuinely, it's really nice.
12:17Do you guys call blending whizzed up?
12:19Yeah, always.
12:20Do you really call it?
12:21Yeah, yeah, they're called whizz up machines over here.
12:25Oh, elevators are lifts, blenders are whizz up machines.
12:29Uh, it's confusing over here.
12:31I'll buy your coffee afterwards at the bubble shop.
12:37We must pause for a break and we're going to stretch our legs a little bit.
12:41I'm going to give Alex a little walk.
12:43I like a little walk.
12:44Come on, you.
12:45Oh, yes.
12:46Oh, yes.
12:47Come on.
12:59Welcome back.
13:02Well, well, well, you really did need to go.
13:05Yes.
13:06LAUGHTER
13:14I had a lot of whizzed up doughnuts in.
13:17And that's the funniest thing the show's ever done.
13:20Just the right weight, isn't it?
13:22I think it's so heavy.
13:23Just the right weight.
13:27I like that you picked it up as well.
13:29Why...
13:29How did you pick it up?
13:30Because I'm your owner.
13:32LAUGHTER
13:32Oh, thank you.
13:35Hello.
13:37It's part two, and our five adult comedians
13:40are struggling to switch on the telly.
13:42Yes.
13:43Oh, which button is it?
13:44Which controller?
13:45Where's it going?
13:46Where are the batteries?
13:47What's happening?
13:47Help me, Alex.
13:48They're pathetic.
13:49And now...
13:51It's time for Joel Mando Domitucci.
14:03You thinking the printer might operate the telly?
14:05Yeah, it made some noises.
14:06Yeah, you did just press two buttons.
14:07Yeah.
14:07So that counts as your first two buttons.
14:09Oh!
14:10Damn it!
14:18Right, well, that didn't work.
14:19No, you've turned on the bubble and smoke machine.
14:21Oh, I forget what were the other ones I did.
14:23Oh, you've turned the bubble machine again, is it?
14:24OK.
14:25Oh, right.
14:25Yeah, that's the one.
14:27Yeah.
14:27Gold.
14:29Right, what happened with the gold one?
14:32I don't know.
14:32What happened with the gold one?
14:33What happened with the gold one?
14:34I'm not touching again.
14:37Still there.
14:38Hello, Joel.
14:39You're very much in my area now.
14:43Can you press the button?
14:45No, it goes behind the book.
14:46It goes behind that.
14:47Right.
14:50You must now also find and eat a doughnut.
14:54Right.
14:54If I turn that on...
14:57You think turning the blender on might turn the telly on?
14:59Well, not beyond the bones of possibility.
15:04It's a mouth.
15:06What is that?
15:09Is that yours?
15:10I was looking for that.
15:13Just be slightly careful with a wife.
15:15Yeah, you'd be slightly careful with your attitude.
15:17Right.
15:20Well, there we're on now.
15:24I knew the printer was something to do with this.
15:27You must now also find and eat a doughnut.
15:31Ah, so pink, is it?
15:32OK.
15:35Ah.
15:36Obviously, this will go nowhere.
15:38I found a duck.
15:40More fluff.
15:41Two batteries.
15:42Ah.
15:44Found the doughnut.
15:45Like, really quick.
15:51I have glued them sharp.
15:53Yes, you have, haven't you?
15:56Ah!
15:58Here we go.
15:59Right.
16:00Fucking hell.
16:06Ah!
16:07Lovely.
16:09Here we go.
16:10It's a smoke machine!
16:21Oh!
16:29I put in an extra layout.
16:31I put in an extra door.
16:3612 seconds.
16:43It's a good thing.
16:49Two batteries.
16:52I reckon that's this one.
17:02Yeah!
17:04Here we go, you figured it out.
17:06Oh, my God.
17:09I'm just enchanted watching Joel do anything, really,
17:12because he throws himself into it with such glee.
17:15And then, every now and again, I just go,
17:17oh, my God, he's 40.
17:21Mad, isn't it?
17:22I pay a mortgage.
17:25Unless there's a hidden compartment pops open.
17:28No, a man goes, well, I don't imagine this will lead us anyway.
17:32Deserving energy.
17:33Lovely.
17:34The difference between us is so fantastic.
17:36I'm like, secret compartment, I'm like,
17:38oh, secret compartment!
17:40There's just one!
17:41There's Vagmi others!
17:45Yes, well, look, Armando was the slowest,
17:47but it wasn't about speed.
17:49If this is very much a tortoise and hare situation,
17:51he only pressed nine buttons.
17:52Ooh!
17:53Which is one fewer than you, Joel.
17:55Ten presses.
17:56It's not bad for an excitable child.
17:59LAUGHTER
18:00Yes.
18:01Finally.
18:01In 2018, he was one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people
18:05in the world.
18:06And now, finally, he just might prove why.
18:09It's Kamal.
18:10LAUGHTER
18:14These are glued shut.
18:19I haven't pressed a button yet.
18:20No.
18:22This one's empty, though.
18:23Mmm.
18:29Pressing the green one.
18:36That's pretty cool.
18:38LAUGHTER
18:38I'll say again if you really enjoyed it.
18:40I did really enjoy it,
18:40but I'm not going to press it again
18:41until I've turned the TV on.
18:43Yeah.
18:46Is it a mistake that this one doesn't have batteries?
18:49We don't make mis...
18:49We don't make mistakes.
18:51That was a mistake.
18:52You're saying we don't make mistakes.
18:53You made a mistake.
18:54We rarely make mistakes.
18:56We don't make mistakes.
19:01Don't look away.
19:06Ow.
19:09There's batteries in there.
19:21That was impressive.
19:27Oh, my God.
19:33That's how it's done.
19:35I remember that being, like, my best task by far.
19:39I just love that you just used sheer fucking force.
19:43Like, yeah!
19:45You are a real-life superhero.
19:47So good to be close to you.
19:51So great.
19:53So, yeah, it was very impressive.
19:55Um, however...
19:57Oh, no!
19:58Uh-oh.
19:59Uh-oh.
19:59I do need to show you something else.
20:01The rules did say...
20:03Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
20:06You may not touch the TV.
20:08No ifs, no buts.
20:10Right?
20:10Uh-oh.
20:11There are so many wires, guys.
20:15OK.
20:16Oh!
20:18Touching, touching.
20:18Butt touch.
20:20It was you, Joel.
20:21You were so excited about that video, too.
20:24I thought it was going to tear you apart, but it turned out it just tore apart a person who
20:28didn't need tear it apart.
20:32Is that touching?
20:33What do you mean?
20:34Is it touching?
20:35Is it touching?
20:36Am I not touching someone if I touch them with my bum?
20:38Is that what you're asking?
20:40Well...
20:40Because if that's the case, it's party time.
20:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
20:45Are we disqualifying, Joel?
20:47I still found him quite enchanting, so I will allow him, regardless of how many times he pressed it, to
20:52have one point.
20:53So he goes to the bottom, Amy and Joanna go up one point?
20:56Correct.
20:57Ooh!
20:58Goes to the bottom.
20:59That's how I run it.
21:04In which case, Amy, you get two points, 23 presses.
21:08Joanna, three points.
21:09Armando, four points.
21:10But the winner and five points to Kamel Nanjiani!
21:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:16Right.
21:17Maybe see the scores.
21:19Yes, before that, I'm going to tell you the series scores, because they're getting tight.
21:23Armando, you're at the bottom with 91, but Joel's just above your 93.
21:27Then, very excitingly, Amy and Kamel are both on 105.
21:32Kamel's finally in the top two, and Joanna's still on top with 106 points.
21:42And in this episode, Kamel's got a very strong 10 points maximum in first place.
21:47Right.
21:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
22:18Oh, hiya.
22:19Joanna and Armando.
22:21Yes.
22:21Hello.
22:22Hello.
22:22Who wants to read it?
22:23You read this one.
22:25He's so good at reading lines.
22:26I know.
22:26It's so exciting.
22:28Go.
22:29Go.
22:30There we go.
22:32Have serious fun in the lab without smiling.
22:35Oh.
22:37One of you must enter on the first whistle, the other on the second.
22:42You must each secretly bring something fun with you, and you must all leave as soon as
22:47the time is up.
22:48You have two minutes in the lab, and the first person must enter the lab in five minutes from now.
22:54So, we can't smile at all, and we've got to have fun.
22:58You guys, when I read You Can't Smile, both of you had the biggest grids on your face.
23:04Let's split up now.
23:05So, I will commit to getting something fun from not this room.
23:07Let's go.
23:08Bring this with us.
23:09Find a fun thing.
23:10I'm not going to ever smile again.
23:13I'm going to be shit at this.
23:21Hi, hello.
23:22It's Amusing Armando, and this is the really good fun show.
23:29Fine.
23:29Oh.
23:33Shall we meet Jolly Joanna?
23:35Here's Jolly Joanna.
23:36We're having fun, aren't we?
23:37We're having lots of fun.
23:38I find playing and eating sweets really, really good fun.
23:44That's good fun.
23:45Oh, no.
23:47Can you do that?
23:48You know how to...
23:49Hey, guys.
23:53Oh, they're in.
23:54They're in.
23:54Yeah, they're in.
23:57Oh, that was so much fun.
24:00That's fun, isn't it?
24:02Whoa!
24:06That's fun.
24:08Can I have a go on your horn if you want to go on my shoulder?
24:10Yeah, sure.
24:12Okay, we're getting off.
24:14Thanks, Alec.
24:22Hiya!
24:23Oh!
24:24Hello.
24:26Please let us not have to sing.
24:28Shall I go in?
24:29Yeah.
24:29Go in.
24:30Completely re-voice this footage to create a dramatic short film.
24:35A dramatic short film.
24:37Oh, this is what that is.
24:38This is the hula hoop thing and the face.
24:41Oh, well, this could be a dramatic film very easily.
24:45You must not re-voice yourself.
24:48Most dramatic and convincing short film wins.
24:51You have 15 minutes.
24:52Your time starts now.
24:54When there's three people, can everyone play someone else?
24:57Yes, mathematically.
24:58Does that work?
24:59Yes.
25:00Yes.
25:01And just in my head, I was like, well, two people are going to play each other,
25:04then there's one person to be themself.
25:11How would you suggest that I do your voice?
25:13I mean, just try and do like a Pakistani guy.
25:16What could go wrong?
25:17So what would, how would that go?
25:19Well, now you've given me, you've given me the go ahead.
25:22Yes, I've given you the go ahead.
25:24We might not show him giving you the go ahead.
25:29In fact, I insist that you don't.
25:31Yeah.
25:32You've got my alien.
25:33If we were going to make it dramatic.
25:34Yeah, it could be.
25:34We have to make it dramatic.
25:35A monster.
25:36What kind of voice do I do for you?
25:38I'm Hull.
25:39Hull?
25:39Do you want to try it?
25:40Ool-a-roop.
25:41Ool-a-roop.
25:43OK.
25:44Yeah, a lot, a lot happened.
25:48Wow, wow.
25:49Exciting on lots of levels.
25:51I mean, I wonder who will face the biggest backlash?
25:53Could it be Kamal from the people of Hull?
25:56LAUGHTER
25:57Or might Joel get more problems with all of Pakistan?
26:04Or famously laid-back people.
26:07LAUGHTER
26:10I can't tell whether I'm going to be sort of counselled for
26:13a misplaced accent or how stupid I am with numbers.
26:18LAUGHTER
26:18Ah, yeah, that was incredible, yeah.
26:22Well, Amy must be thrilled because it's taken a lot of heat
26:25off the fact that she can only do one Hull-a-Hoop.
26:29LAUGHTER
26:30Shall we see some short films forward slash hate crimes?
26:35LAUGHTER
26:37Yeah, why not?
26:38And I think let's start off with a team of three.
26:40Let's see how they got on.
26:45Oh, I'm looking for me husband.
26:51Is that for me husband?
26:54Luribor die.
26:58Oh, OK, me husband's going to die.
27:03Hey, wife.
27:05This guy is really scaring me.
27:08Room for a little one!
27:10Oh, God damn, this guy.
27:13What, should we save your life?
27:15Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
27:18I'll show you what to do.
27:25LAUGHTER
27:31That's like some of the noises we make on our birthdays.
27:36Hey, look at this, look at this.
27:38Shiny things, shiny things.
27:39Distracting, I'm distracting him.
27:40Suit him with the gun.
27:42Maybe I'll get you with this gun that I've gotten.
27:44No, no, no.
27:45It's a fucking...
27:46Oh, you didn't bring your gun.
27:48You didn't bring your gun.
27:49Oh, I'll go get me a gun.
27:52You two are gonna die.
27:54I'm gonna be back.
27:54Oh, yeah.
27:54You two are gonna die.
27:57That's your time up.
27:58Lovely.
27:59Better than many movies I've seen.
28:01And been.
28:02LAUGHTER
28:04APPLAUSE
28:08I don't know what the fuck was going on.
28:11LAUGHTER
28:13It's the joy of art, isn't it?
28:14It's open to interpretation.
28:16It's subjective.
28:17Yeah.
28:18And fortunately for you, I thought it was shit.
28:20LAUGHTER
28:21OK, that's it.
28:22We're at the halfway point.
28:23Will you go all the way with me?
28:25Will you?
28:25Of course you will.
28:27How can you resist?
28:27And I've not forgotten you.
28:29Your key.
28:30Oh, yes.
28:32He's saving you till last.
28:33Shut up!
28:35LAUGHTER
28:35MUSIC PLAYS
28:43MUSIC PLAYS
28:44APPLAUSE
28:45Welcome back to the third part of the show,
28:47and there is a seriously fun task involving lip-syncing.
28:51Yes, the current task involves them revoicing their own footage
28:55from earlier, but they're not allowed to revoice themselves.
28:57Most dramatic and convincing short film wins.
29:00Now, for the team of two's turn, it's Joanna and Armando.
29:04Hello.
29:06I have been called here today because I hear that there might be
29:10some alien force in this building.
29:12What is this here?
29:13There's a banana.
29:16What are you saying?
29:18You're telling me about the alien and alien!
29:21I've been impregnated by a banana alien.
29:23It might burst out.
29:25Oh, my God!
29:26Oh, my...
29:26Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
29:29Oh, no, I can't believe this.
29:31I know.
29:32What have you got inside you?
29:33There look like millions of them.
29:36I've got the syringe.
29:37I have heard from other people.
29:39It is the only way to deal with aliens.
29:42I want to help you, but the alien in my head is telling me
29:46to put it in my mouth.
29:48Oh, my God!
29:49Oh, that went in!
29:50That's horrible.
29:51The alien is making me inject your head now.
29:54Whatever you do, don't let any aliens come out of your mouth.
29:59Oh, oh!
30:00This is the most dramatic thing ever filmed.
30:04What's this?
30:05I want to eat these.
30:07The alien is making me pick up an envelope.
30:09It says, whatever you do, don't walk about with the stuff in that suitcase.
30:13Otherwise, the world will blow up.
30:15But I can't help myself.
30:16It's all pretty colors, and I guess...
30:18Oh, no, you've got to done it.
30:19I can't help it.
30:21They're making me do it.
30:22Everybody, get out.
30:24Humanities will be taken over by aliens.
30:25We've got to go!
30:26We've got to go!
30:34We've got to go!
30:55the fragility of the human condition.
30:57Yeah, and what about theirs?
31:05What are you giving to people, Greg?
31:06Well, I'm going to give the team of two five points
31:10for a beautiful film.
31:14What shall I give the other three?
31:16Does two feel good?
31:17Two for the team of three and five to the team of two!
31:20There!
31:22Can't we squeeze out another task?
31:24Ah, of course we can, Greg.
31:27And bless your little cotton socks.
31:45Ooh!
31:46Oh, my gosh!
31:51Amy.
31:57It's a present of socks.
32:02I guess so.
32:03Yeah.
32:05This is fantastic.
32:07How do you arrange yours?
32:08Nothing as extravagant and as beautiful as this.
32:11This is how Greg does it.
32:12OK.
32:14Make the most socks stand up.
32:18You have 15 minutes.
32:19Your time starts now.
32:22What we...
32:23What?
32:23And we're off.
32:24Stand up.
32:25What...
32:25What...
32:27What does that entail?
32:28Well, they're lying down at the moment.
32:30Individually, or...?
32:31Well, plenty of time.
32:32However you want to interpret it, really.
32:33Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:36What I really want to do is just spend all my time making the pairs right.
32:40Yeah.
32:46Now, with a greater respect, I thought that Joel might struggle with this concept,
32:51but I didn't think it would baffle you.
32:54Yeah.
32:54And I said to Alex during it, you sort of sound like a remix in it.
32:59Yeah.
32:59She did, yeah.
33:00Like this.
33:00I've got the remix.
33:02What we...
33:02What...
33:03What...
33:04What...
33:04What does that entail?
33:07LAUGHTER
33:08That's a remix.
33:10Yeah.
33:10Wow!
33:12I'm into that.
33:13Armando was a bit of a remix as well, wasn't it?
33:14Slightly.
33:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:17Yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:20We should collaborate.
33:21Yeah, yeah.
33:22Yeah.
33:23LAUGHTER
33:23What, what, what, what, what?
33:25What, what, what?
33:27We're on at the all-too-next-funner.
33:30LAUGHTER
33:31Right.
33:32I want to see some people make socks stand-up.
33:35I know you do.
33:35I know you do.
33:36And it's good news for fans of Amy and Joel,
33:38because now we're going to see Amy and Joel.
33:41LAUGHTER
33:42What classifiers are standing up?
33:44We'll do that.
33:45Yeah, maybe.
33:46Maybe?
33:50Is that standing up?
33:52Sort of floaty.
33:53I don't know what it's doing.
33:54It might be standing up.
33:55It looks like there's someone on the other side of the head.
33:56OK, well, OK.
33:58We're absolutely off to a cracking start.
34:02This is my task.
34:03Yeah, they're standing up, I think.
34:04Yeah?
34:05You think?
34:06Oh, I need you to be more confident than that.
34:17That is...
34:18That went straight on.
34:19That is satisfied.
34:20LAUGHTER
34:25Oh, I just...
34:26Oh, I just made a good one.
34:32APPLAUSE
34:38What if...
34:40I got all of these...
34:42And...
34:43And told a joke.
34:45So they're doing stand-up.
34:47Do you want a microphone?
34:49Can you...
34:50Is this good?
34:51LAUGHTER
34:51Pretty weird.
34:52Yeah, OK.
34:53What did the...
34:57shoe say to the loud sock?
35:00I don't know.
35:02Put a sock in it.
35:03Oh, dear.
35:04I just made the...
35:05Oh, that's good.
35:06I've got to finish this fence, man.
35:08One and a half minutes.
35:08I've got to finish this fence.
35:11They're just standing up, are they?
35:12Yes.
35:16What an ending.
35:18I believe in rights for everyone.
35:21Standing up for...
35:22People?
35:24Everyone?
35:24Oh.
35:26Oh.
35:27Not every...
35:27No, good...
35:28It's too late now.
35:29Don't put that on telly.
35:32There's a lot left.
35:34Thanks, Joel.
35:35See you later.
35:37There were...
35:37Yeah.
35:37There were a lot left.
35:40Really good, though.
35:41I really love the ambition of sock stand-up.
35:44You want to ride with that?
35:45Because I'm going to allow it.
35:46You're allowing it?
35:47Yes!
35:48It was really great.
35:49This is the happiest I've seen you for the whole show.
35:53Man, it was so fun.
35:54We're just putting things on things.
35:56Yeah.
35:57Was the one sock in particular that pleased you the most?
36:00Because there was one that you popped on that pleased me the most.
36:03Mmm.
36:03The top of the cactus.
36:04Cactus.
36:05Oh, my God.
36:06Oh, it slipped on a treat, didn't it?
36:09My favourite one was the one that was just perking out of the hedge.
36:14Oh, yeah.
36:15Where it looked like a very short but very well-endowed man was just stood.
36:20Yeah.
36:20Because it was just coming out at just a lovely angle.
36:23And it was just a sort of soft lob.
36:25Yeah.
36:28Hedge man wasn't fully ready for it.
36:30All right.
36:31If a soft lob counts as standing up, then there's hope for many of us.
36:39Well, I guess I should find out, are we counting the soft lob?
36:43Well, soft lob is definitely standing.
36:48There were 472 socks there in total.
36:51Amy got 280 of those socks out there.
36:54Whoa!
36:56Joel, 91, including the lob.
36:5891.
36:59So, Amy, well in front at this stage.
37:01Shall we move on?
37:02Yeah, why not?
37:02And now for a man who is the same age as Brad Pitt.
37:06It's Armando Enoch.
37:09Got to start with this.
37:10OK.
37:14How much time is left?
37:15Plenty of time.
37:1612 minutes and 45 seconds.
37:17Christ!
37:20I'm sort of thinking, given the numbers involved here,
37:22we need to go at scale.
37:26This will do it.
37:27Hang on.
37:29There we go.
37:30Here we go.
37:31All right.
37:34Well, lovely to meet you.
37:37What do you think of my standing up socks?
37:41What do you think of those?
37:42Pardon?
37:44Not...
37:44They wouldn't work for you.
37:46Your feet are webbed, aren't they?
37:47Yeah.
37:49OK.
37:50I mean, to be honest, I've run out of small talk.
37:52There's only so many things you can say to a duck on a chair.
37:55That's your turn up, Amanda.
37:57Thank you very much.
37:58Right.
37:59Some tea, I think.
38:02Oh, my God.
38:07Very good.
38:08Very good.
38:09Very good.
38:10I was already thrilled before the walk.
38:13That's the sort of lateral thinking and creativity that you can come up with if you're not troubled by full
38:19logs.
38:22Soon, someone will win a one-way flight to Venice and will be able to say, I was deported by
38:29Amy Gladhill.
38:31We'll see you in a minute.
38:41Yes.
38:42Yes, it's the final part of the show and there's a task that is in need of completing.
38:46Thumbs up emoji.
38:48Thumbs up emoji.
38:48Yes, they just had to make the most socks stand up.
38:52They've all had a go at it.
38:53Well, Joanna and Kamel haven't, but they will right now.
38:57I'm putting them on myself.
38:59That's a good idea.
39:00OK, I'm going to do as many as I can.
39:01Yes.
39:02That is three.
39:03Would you say this sock is standing up?
39:06I mean, I don't know.
39:13This is what a rake is made for.
39:15This is perfect.
39:16This is horrible.
39:17I don't like this.
39:18Right.
39:19Oh, God.
39:20I'm going to have to start putting some on the other foot.
39:22OK, then.
39:22It's starting to hurt a bit.
39:23Is it?
39:30I feel kind of maniacal.
39:31I don't know why.
39:38But I can get a load on here because his legs are only thin.
39:40That's a good ball.
39:41Right, OK.
39:43Will you bring me the donkey, please?
39:44I'd love to, yeah.
39:44Because I don't think I can walk.
39:49Let's see what this is like.
39:51I'm just going to give the donkey a go.
39:55Oh, look at that.
39:57Right.
39:57Two minutes, ten seconds.
40:00I think I might start on my arm.
40:03Yeah.
40:04Kamel, there's one minute left.
40:11Wow.
40:12That is a triumphant pose, Joe.
40:19Standing up?
40:19Yeah, isn't it?
40:21Yeah.
40:21Everything's standing up.
40:23Really good.
40:28Good.
40:30How many socks did she make to stand up?
40:32Well, remember, with the soft lob, Joel got 91.
40:35Joanna managed to get 95.
40:38Oh!
40:3995.
40:40Not bad.
40:41Mm-hmm.
40:41Now.
40:42Now.
40:42Kamel.
40:44Well, all I wrote down was,
40:46why is Kamel laughing like a cartoon buddy while tidying up?
40:52I think to us the laughter came when you struck upon the idea
40:54of stuffing a boiler suit full of socks.
40:58It's like a man that's standing up.
40:59Yeah, I like the final image of the man standing up.
41:02Obviously, we'll only be allowing the socks that...
41:04Wait, what?
41:05But, but, wait, what do you mean?
41:07What, what do you mean?
41:08What, what, what?
41:10What?
41:11What?
41:13What?
41:13What?
41:14What?
41:15What?
41:19What?
41:19Are we counting all the ones in the boiler suits?
41:20Yeah.
41:21All the ones in the bellies?
41:21I think I am going to allow those.
41:25In which case, I can tell you some points.
41:27Joel, one point.
41:27Only 91 socks.
41:29Two points to Joanna with 95.
41:31Amy got 280 socks.
41:32Three points.
41:33Kamel, there were 375 socks standing up in that boiler suit
41:36and the boots.
41:37But the winner, with 472 socks, five points,
41:39it's Armando Iannucci!
41:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:43Very good.
41:45Shall we have a quick look at the scores?
41:46Yes, it means those sock guys are in first and second place.
41:49Kamel's on 16 points, but Armando is leading the episode
41:52with 17 points.
41:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:09Hi there, you hunk.
42:11Oh!
42:11Me?
42:12Who will be leading the task?
42:14Joanna Page?
42:15Joanna Page.
42:18Snort, raspberry or whistle in the order the taskmaster desires.
42:25The taskmaster will give you a number sequence
42:28and you must reply immediately with the corresponding noises.
42:331 equals snort, 2 equals raspberry,
42:373 equals whistle.
42:40If you make a mistake, you are out.
42:43Most successful snort, raspberry and whistle responder wins.
42:48I genuinely cannot whistle.
42:52Whoop!
42:53We'll be acceptable.
42:53Are we ready?
42:54We're starting off in round one with a two-digit sequence.
42:58Amy, 3, 1.
43:02Good.
43:03Armando, 2, 3.
43:05BUZZ!
43:07BUZZ!
43:08BUZZ!
43:09BUZZ!
43:09BUZZ!
43:10BUZZ!
43:11Looks like you're off the hook.
43:12BUZZ!
43:14Joanna, 3, 3.
43:17BUZZ! BUZZ!
43:22BUZZ!
43:23BUZZ!
43:23Oh, little baby bird!
43:27BUZZ!
43:27BUZZ!
43:29BUZZ!
43:33BUZZ!
43:34BUZZ!
43:35BUZZ!
43:36BUZZ!
43:37BUZZ!
43:38BUZZ!
43:38BUZZ!
43:39Now, 1, 3.
43:41BUZZ!
43:41BUZZ!
43:42BUZZ!
43:42OK.
43:43So, they've all survived.
43:44I think we need to go up to three-digit sequence.
43:46I agree.
43:47OK.
43:48Amy.
43:482, 1, 3.
43:50BUZZ!
43:51BUZZ!
43:52Good.
43:533, 2, 1.
43:55BUZZ!
43:56BUZZ!
43:57BUZZ!
43:58BUZZ!
43:582, 2, 1.
43:59BUZZ!
44:00BUZZ!
44:01BUZZ!
44:011, 1, 3.
44:03BUZZ!
44:05BUZZ!
44:06BUZZ!
44:062, 1, 3.
44:08BUZZ!
44:09BUZZ!
44:10BUZZ!
44:12BUZZ!
44:123, 3, 2.
44:13BUZZ!
44:15BUZZ!
44:152, 1, 3.
44:16BUZZ!
44:16BUZZ!
44:18BUZZ!
44:18Oh, my God! That's so good!
44:20Shall we go up to four? Shall we go up to four?
44:22We're going to four. I'm starting with Joanna.
44:24Here we go.
44:24BUZZ!
44:262, 2, 3, 1.
44:27BUZZ!
44:28BUZZ!
44:29BUZZ!
44:30BUZZ!
44:30BUZZ!
44:301, 1, 2, 3.
44:31BUZZ!
44:35BUZZ!
44:36BUZZ!
44:371, 3, 2, 1.
44:39BUZZ!
44:41BUZZ!
44:43BUZZ!
44:431, 1, 2, 3.
44:46BUZZ!
44:47BUZZ!
44:49It was too long.
44:51That was too slow.
44:51Amy, Claren, you'll go here to see the look crazy then.
44:53BUZZ!
44:55BUZZ!
44:56Right.
44:57So we're on Armando.
44:583, 3, 2, 1.
45:00BUZZ!
45:01BUZZ!
45:03BUZZ!
45:04BUZZ!
45:042, 2, 1, 3.
45:05BUZZ!
45:06BUZZ!
45:07BUZZ!
45:081, 2, 3, 1.
45:09BUZZ!
45:10BUZZ!
45:11BUZZ!
45:12BUZZ!
45:12BUZZ!
45:12No!
45:13We lost the whistle!
45:14We lost the whistle! We lost the whistle! Go on, mate!
45:16BUZZ!
45:18OK.
45:21Greg, would you like to go up to five-digit sequences?
45:23Oh, my God, I would.
45:25It's the semi-final.
45:26So we're on to Kamel.
45:27Five?
45:27I'm the first guy to do five?
45:28You're the first guy ever to do five.
45:30LAUGHTER
45:33BUZZ!
45:341, 3, 2, 1, 2.
45:36BUZZ!
45:38BUZZ!
45:40BUZZ!
45:40BUZZ!
45:42BUZZ!
45:46BUZZ!
45:49BUZZ!
45:50BUZZ!
45:52BUZZ!
45:52BUZZ!
45:52BUZZ!
45:53BUZZ!
45:53Yes!
45:541, 2, 1, 3, 2.
45:58BUZZ!
45:59BUZZ!
45:59BUZZ!
46:00BUZZ!
46:01BUZZ!
46:01BUZZ!
46:02We have a win, everyone!
46:04APPLAUSE
46:04BUZZ!
46:08BUZZ!
46:08I love back to your final scores.
46:09Come and join me.
46:10Mr Armando Energy!
46:11BUZZ!
46:13BUZZ!
46:15BUZZ!
46:17BUZZ!
46:17BUZZ!
46:17Yeah.
46:18That was an absolute...
46:19BUZZ!
46:20That's fantastic.
46:21They were so good at making noises in the correct order, weren't they?
46:23Weren't they?
46:24The worst was Amy, but only just...
46:25I mean, you deserve more than one point, but that's all you get.
46:30BUZZ!
46:30Amy got one, Joel two, Kamel three, Joanna four, Armando five,
46:33which means the final scoreboard, it's his second victory.
46:37At the bottom, Amy and Joel, the happy guys, on ten points.
46:40At the top, Armando's got 22 points!
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:05APPLAUSE
47:06BUZZ!
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