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Taskmaster AU S03E07
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00:02No...
00:04Ahh!
00:10Ahh!
00:14Please leave it!
00:27Is this good television?
00:38Hello and welcome to Taskmaster Australia.
00:41My name's Tom Gleeson and I'm the boss here.
00:43When I started working for this company 20 years ago,
00:46I was just another errand boy in the mail room,
00:48licking stamps and kissing arses.
00:51I climbed the corporate ladder all the way to the top
00:54and now they kiss my arse before every episode backstage
00:58because I am the Taskmaster.
01:05Sitting across from me are five comedians who,
01:07after filming their task months ago,
01:09have only just come out of cryogenic stasis.
01:12It's Aaron Chen,
01:16Conchetta Caristo,
01:19Mel Buttle,
01:21Peter Hellyer,
01:24and Rhys Nicholson.
01:28And as always, I'm joined by my assistant, Tom Cashman.
01:37What have you got for me, loser?
01:40Well, I was going to say that it's been one of the best weeks of my life.
01:43Oh, okay.
01:44Oh, thank you.
01:45I reached a life dream of mine.
01:48I started an Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, oi, oi, oi.
01:53So I was in a car park and I kind of cut this guy off.
01:56And he was like, oi.
01:58And I tried to joke around.
01:59I was like, Aussie, Aussie, Aussie.
02:02And he went, oi, oi, oi.
02:04And I went, Aussie.
02:05And he went...
02:09But still, pretty good.
02:11You live such an interesting life.
02:14Alright, let's say, Tom.
02:15What are we doing first?
02:17Well, we've got a prize task, as usual.
02:19Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be
02:22the most distracting thing to have on your dashboard.
02:25Alright.
02:26Let's see what everyone's got.
02:28Rhys, what's your distracting dashboard thing?
02:31First of all, I don't drive.
02:32So I had to get my husband to point out what the dashboard was.
02:37Then I really thought about it.
02:38I thought, as an Australian, what is the most terrifying thing you can have on the dashboard?
02:43And I went with this.
02:45It's a Huntsman spider.
02:47Ooh.
02:47You're driving.
02:48A spider starts crawling over.
02:50You're like, oh my god.
02:51You veer off.
02:51Suddenly, you're in jail for manslaughter.
02:55I've put him on top of a parking ticket.
02:58Also distracting.
02:59But I think the most distracting part of it is he has a Southern Cross tattoo on his back.
03:05Which I think is the most distracting.
03:08You know, you're at the beach.
03:09I'm always there.
03:10And you see someone with a neck tattoo of a Southern Cross and you're like,
03:16I'm going to get murdered.
03:19Well, is that distracting though?
03:20Because when you're driving, not that you'd know what it's like,
03:22you're driving along, you see a Huntsman.
03:24I just straight away realise that they're harmless and don't worry about it.
03:27Yeah, you're forgetting you're a sociopath.
03:31Alright, okay.
03:32Mel, what did you bring in that would distract you?
03:34I brought in a musical instrument because when I'm near one,
03:38I can't help myself just blowing into it.
03:40Shush, please, Rhys.
03:48Oh, I can fit my mouth on that, around that, in that.
03:51Yeah.
03:53Sit.
03:54Just take it easy.
03:59Alright.
04:01I think the built-in other thing that's quite distracting about it
04:05is it would slide across the dashboard.
04:07It would be quite noisy.
04:08That would be very distracting for me from texting while I'm...
04:13Because I've only got two hands, wheel and phone.
04:16Like, I don't have a third hand to grab my musical instrument
04:19that would be on my dashboard.
04:21Yeah.
04:21Peter, what have you brought in?
04:22Mine's quite simple.
04:24It's distracting.
04:24It's terrifying.
04:25On your dashboard, that's Jeffrey Dahmer bobblehead.
04:35Are you sure that's Jeffrey Dahmer?
04:36It looks a bit like Aaron Chen.
04:38Yeah.
04:41Why do you think it would be distracting in particular?
04:45Because he killed a lot of people, Tom.
04:46Yeah, right.
04:47But are you suggesting, because it's a bobblehead, it suggests...
04:50Well, it's...
04:51It's like you're a fan.
04:52You've got some of his merchandise.
04:54No, not at all.
04:55Not at all.
04:56Like, this is not necessarily my car.
04:59Oh.
04:59I may have stolen this car.
05:00Oh.
05:02If I stole one and I saw one of the most notorious serial killers...
05:06Yeah.
05:06...doing this one...
05:08That would be distracting.
05:10Well, it'd be distracting to the backpackers you picked up.
05:14Wouldn't it?
05:15Driving around.
05:19All right, Aaron, what did you bring in?
05:20Well, I also brought a bobblehead.
05:23But my bobblehead has laser pointers on it.
05:29So it's already better than Pete.
05:32At the last Football World Cup, a lot of fans would shoot laser pointers in the eyes of penalty takers.
05:39Right.
05:40And that made international news for being distracting.
05:47This was actually hard to bring into Melbourne, because those laser pointers are illegal here.
05:54They were outlawed by Dan Andrews.
05:58He said they distracted him too much.
06:06All right.
06:07Concetta, what did you bring in that would be distracting?
06:10A bowl of boiling hot soup.
06:13Oh.
06:15Actually.
06:18Yeah.
06:19That would be very distracting, especially if you're on a windy road.
06:23Yeah.
06:23And especially if you're hungry and you're in the mood for soup.
06:27Like, it's boiling hot.
06:29It's full as ****.
06:31Yeah.
06:31And it's not tied down.
06:33Yeah.
06:34Hot bowl of soup.
06:35Yeah.
06:36It's pretty hard to top.
06:37I've got to score these, don't I?
06:38Yeah.
06:39All right.
06:39So I'll start at the bottom with one point.
06:41One point to Rhys, because huntsmen, they're not venomous.
06:43It's not really that distracting.
06:44I didn't mention that huntsman has a gun.
06:52One.
06:54And then we've got two bobbleheads I've got to get through.
06:56So I'm going to give two points to Pete, because Geoffrey Dahmer is very distracting.
07:00But if I was driving and saw that, I would just think it was Aaron Chen, and that would cheer
07:04me up.
07:05And I'd have a good day.
07:07I'd have a good day.
07:09Then I'm going to go for Aaron Chen, because it was a slightly better bobblehead with the laser pointers.
07:13So three points to Aaron.
07:14Okay.
07:14I love playing a musical instrument, so Mel gets four points for the harmonica.
07:18But five points go to concerto for a bowl of soup.
07:21It's delicious, and you don't want to spill it.
07:24Hard to beat.
07:25All right.
07:26Let's leave those dash-bound items there and dash into our first proper task, please, Lesser Tom.
07:31This next task sees our contestants in an extremely sticky situation.
07:47Oh, Tom.
07:49Knock, knock.
07:50Yoo-hoo.
07:51Whoa.
07:52Hi, Aaron.
07:53How are you doing?
07:54Oh, okay.
07:55This looks good.
07:58Glue an item to the ceiling of the caravan.
08:01The item must fall from the ceiling exactly two minutes after it's glued.
08:05What?
08:06You have ten minutes to glue the item.
08:08Once glued to the ceiling, you cannot touch the item.
08:11The item that remained on the ceiling for closest to two minutes wins.
08:16Your time starts now.
08:18I'm not a magician.
08:19You think that's what a magician would do?
08:20Yeah, because that's a trick.
08:22I don't know what this is.
08:24Right.
08:25But that's obviously...
08:26Flour?
08:27Oh.
08:29What?
08:29This is...
08:31Dough.
08:32Dough?
08:32Yeah.
08:33Flour?
08:33Flour and water.
08:35Stick.
08:36Flour, water, stick?
08:37Yeah, flour, water, stick.
08:41We're trying to get them to stick things to the roof for two minutes.
08:44That's right.
08:44Seems pretty straightforward.
08:45Shall we just get into it?
08:46Let's do it.
08:46We've stuck these two together with the glue of television.
08:49Here's Rhys and Conchetta.
08:50Let's have a little go at this.
08:53Does that help you think?
08:54Yeah.
08:55We need something light.
08:56Oh.
08:57Do you mind putting your hand out for a second?
09:00What was that for?
09:01Just I didn't want it on my hands anymore.
09:03Oh.
09:04What about a piece of paper?
09:05What about a piece of paper?
09:06Huh?
09:07What about the task?
09:08Huh?
09:08Hey?
09:08Hmm?
09:11I'm now worried that's going to be there forever.
09:13You want surface coverage.
09:16More glue.
09:17Yeah.
09:17Surface area.
09:18I figured the fruit...
09:19Hmm.
09:20It's quite light.
09:20Oh.
09:21Come on, baby.
09:22Come on, baby.
09:23You want a floor.
09:24Come on, Jake.
09:25Oh.
09:27Oh, my God.
09:30What are we doing for time?
09:31Three minutes and 55 seconds.
09:34Are you doing the tea towel now?
09:35Yeah.
09:35What happened to the banana?
09:36The bananas, it's over.
09:38Me and the banana are over.
09:39Can I try something else?
09:40You've got one minute and 45 seconds.
09:42What about this?
09:43This is it.
09:45Oh, that's not going anywhere.
09:47Tell me when you're about to do it and I'll start the timer.
09:49Well, you'll know when there's a tea towel on the roof.
09:51I suppose that's right.
09:52All right.
09:57Start.
09:59Is it this?
10:00Is this what you want?
10:02A third item.
10:07How are you feeling?
10:12Pretty bad.
10:17Where's the task?
10:18Oh, it's there.
10:20Oh, it was an attack.
10:28What?
10:29I'm OK with it.
10:34Thanks, Rhys.
10:36Bye, Tom.
10:37See ya.
10:48Uh, Rhys, did you just give up?
10:50Well, see, I, like an idiot, misread the task and thought I had one go at it.
10:54And so I just kind of did that and went, it hasn't gone well.
10:57Off I popped then.
10:58Off to cry in the dressing room.
11:00Which had nothing to do with the task.
11:02There's some other stuff going on.
11:03Rhys, uh, as we saw, your tea towel was up there for 15 seconds, which makes your score
11:07105 seconds, uh, away from two minutes, which is what your goal was.
11:11I didn't like that switcheroo you just did.
11:14All right, well, Conchetta, you had three attempts.
11:16You spotted early on that you could have more than one go.
11:19Yeah.
11:19I sort of feel like you left us hanging there, because, uh, two items were almost at two minutes.
11:23That's right.
11:24Uh, one was, uh, just past six, uh, but two were approaching two minutes.
11:27Well, with Conchetta's timers still running, I think this could be a moment to generate
11:32some reality TV style intrigue.
11:35Ooh.
11:37You're talking about, like, going to a break with a cliffhanger?
11:40Well, less cliffhanger and more ceiling dropper, but you'll learn the lingo with time, little
11:44champion.
11:45We'll see you after this.
11:56Welcome back to Taskmaster, everyone, where five comedians are competing for a bowl of
12:02piping hot dashboard soup.
12:04Uh, where did we leave off?
12:05Well, our contestants have been asked to stick something to the ceiling of the caravan for
12:09as close to two minutes as possible.
12:11Rhys stuck a tea towel, uh, for 15 seconds, and Conchetta, we're still waiting for her scores,
12:15and by that, I mean that very literally, because we're still waiting for her things to fall
12:19off the ceiling of the caravan.
12:22She's stuck three items to the roof.
12:24All three items are there to this day.
12:2578 days, 7 hours, and 30 minutes.
12:31Wow.
12:33Wow.
12:34All right, let's see who else you've got.
12:35Next up, it's Aaron, Mel, and Peter.
12:38I reckon that's got 12 seconds in that.
12:4012 seconds, okay.
12:44So, those are some regrettable attempts from previous contestants.
12:50That's it.
12:51That's the item.
12:53That seems, like, pretty sticky.
12:55Got the clock on that.
12:58Did that, did that two minutes?
12:59Didn't feel like two minutes.
13:02That's good, okay.
13:03Could it be my hand?
13:04Is your hand an item?
13:06Yeah, yeah, I'd say, yeah.
13:07You can't touch it once it's glued, can you?
13:10Can something else touch it?
13:12All the information you need is in the task.
13:13All the information you need is in the task.
13:18You didn't touch that?
13:19I didn't touch that.
13:19How long do you think it was up there?
13:20Two minutes exact.
13:21I looked at your clock, no more.
13:23I'm not touching the item that I've glued to the ceiling, am I?
13:26I mean, you're touching an item that is touching it.
13:28Okay, so now I'm touching it again.
13:30There's going to be some touches on and off.
13:32I mean, it's an interesting question.
13:33Are you touching something that you are?
13:35I mean, I can touch myself.
13:36You touch yourself?
13:37Not with this much flour.
13:40Oh, I'm sorry.
13:42I didn't expect that.
13:43You didn't expect that?
13:44No.
13:45Two, one.
13:46Guess what?
13:47It fell from the ceiling.
13:48Oh, it fell.
13:48And that was a four?
13:49That was a four.
13:50That's a four.
13:50I'm not touching it now.
13:51Okay.
13:52What?
13:53Did you count that one?
13:54We'll look at it.
13:55It doesn't matter, does it?
13:56Somebody tried it out.
13:57That didn't work, did it?
13:58No.
13:59What's the time?
14:00Three seconds.
14:01Oh.
14:02Oh, no, you got flour on you.
14:05What a mistake accident.
14:07Do you think that'll be worth two minutes?
14:08I reckon.
14:11It's yours.
14:12Thanks.
14:12It's all present.
14:14Must go.
14:15See you, Tom.
14:22So, Pete, you thought sticking your hand to the roof counted?
14:26Yes, it did.
14:27Is your hand an item?
14:28Yeah.
14:30I always say to my friends, yeah, give me some item.
14:32And they, yeah.
14:37So, it's stuck to the roof.
14:40My hand is.
14:41Yeah.
14:42And then, miraculously, I don't know how it happened.
14:44Two minutes, bang on.
14:45Bang on.
14:46Yeah.
14:46It just went, whoo.
14:48But somehow, miraculously, landed at the end of your arm.
14:51Because I caught it.
14:52My arm caught it.
14:56I'm not sure if I can accept that.
14:58Because I feel it was more like you were a bad climate change protester.
15:03You know, you sort of glued yourself in a very easy-to-remove way to the roof.
15:07My hand.
15:08Let me go through this again.
15:09My hand.
15:11It was there.
15:12It's an item.
15:12Not touching it.
15:13Not touching it.
15:14I feel like the longer you talk about it, the more the audience is getting on my side.
15:19At the same time, I don't really give a shit what they think.
15:22I think they're back on my side now.
15:25Yeah.
15:29Don't bother.
15:30It only makes him stronger.
15:40All right.
15:41Well, let's just say, if we did include the hand, what would Pete's time be?
15:44Two minutes.
15:46Okay.
15:46Well, if we don't count Pete's hand, how long did he have?
15:49Pete stuck a koala toy up there for 44 seconds.
15:53Okay.
15:53So, Aaron.
15:55Yes.
15:55How long did the mango stay there?
15:57The mango above Tom's head?
15:59Yeah, that you placed specifically above his face.
16:02I suspect on purpose.
16:04I just got so caught up in the moment.
16:06I was like, oh, there's a spot there.
16:09Because I know, like, with your comedy, like, everything you do appears to be an accident,
16:13but often you do it on purpose.
16:14So, was this another one of those examples?
16:16That one was not comedy.
16:19That was...
16:20That was, um, sports.
16:26Okay.
16:26All right.
16:28What was Aaron's best result, though?
16:30Aaron put an orange up there and then threw something at it to knock it off at two minutes
16:34and three seconds.
16:37Are you accepting the throwing?
16:38Well, he didn't touch it, so I'm not worried about the throwing.
16:41Okay.
16:41Yeah, so that's fine.
16:42And then what about Mel's strategy?
16:44What were you holding there?
16:45I couldn't see...
16:45I think it was, like, just a wooden piece of op shop shit.
16:49Right.
16:50That I used to touch the item to the ceiling.
16:54Well, I think you found a hack.
16:55There was also a second item that I also glued.
16:57There was a little badge that you would sew on your scout's uniform for best whatever.
17:06I got four.
17:09There he is.
17:10He's back.
17:11He's back.
17:13That's awesome, Rhys.
17:14Do you want to shake items?
17:15Yeah.
17:16See?
17:18All right.
17:19So what was it?
17:19You had a badge up there.
17:21Excuse me?
17:31Sometimes this show is impossible to host.
17:33Sorry.
17:34So you glued a badge to the roof.
17:36Correct.
17:38How long did it stay there for?
17:39That was one minute forty, but the task card that you held the wooden thing to, that was
17:44two minutes and seven seconds.
17:46So are we accepting the wooden cup method?
17:48Yeah.
17:49Well, you didn't touch it.
17:50You touched the cup.
17:50A hundred percent.
17:51You didn't touch the item.
17:52Yes, officer.
17:53Agreed.
17:53With your hand.
17:55You didn't touch it with your hand.
17:56With my hand.
17:58Item.
17:59Sorry, I've given up.
17:59Hand.
18:00Yeah.
18:01I need to clarify what we're doing about the hellier situation.
18:04I think it's pretty clear what I'm going to do.
18:06The crowd is on Pete's side, so I'm not going to allow it.
18:10In that case, we've got Conchetta with one point, being 78 days, seven hours and 13 minutes
18:15away.
18:16Rhys gets two points.
18:17Pete, three points.
18:18Mel, four points.
18:19But the winner is Aaron Chan.
18:22All right.
18:24So how does that height seems to the episode?
18:27Well, everyone else should try to stick themselves to the momentum of Aaron and Mel, who are the
18:31leaders, both with eight points.
18:34Okay, Leser Tom.
18:36What happened next?
18:37Well, it's time for the loveliest task in Taskmaster history.
18:55Hi, Tom.
18:57Hi, Pete.
18:58Hi, Tom.
18:59For me?
19:01That's lovely.
19:02Rose is my favourite.
19:04They're your favourite?
19:05No.
19:07Let's just get stuck in that.
19:09Oh, my God.
19:10Identify the loveliest thing on the Taskmaster retreat.
19:13When you have identified your loveliest thing, you must exclaim, I love you.
19:18I love you.
19:18You have seven minutes.
19:20Your time starts now.
19:23Loveliest thing.
19:24Well, I guess I'd better get looking.
19:29What's more lovely than sweets?
19:31I think as comedians, we don't allow ourselves to love very often, because as soon as you're
19:35happy and in love, the work does start to get hard to produce.
19:38Westie terrier, you would definitely say lovely.
19:42What's it called?
19:43It's a Westie.
19:46Nice.
19:46I don't know how to drive.
19:49Oh.
19:49Do you know what would be very lovely?
19:51If for even just a couple metres, I could drive the car.
19:55You know what?
19:56It's this.
19:57I love it.
19:58The minute I saw it, I was like, I want it.
20:00I'm not going to call it early, but you know I love these.
20:03I love you here as well.
20:05Did you say I love you?
20:05No.
20:07But like, can't I just say that, but I'm not like.
20:13All right, Tom.
20:14This is to me the loveliest thing, which is the concept of driving.
20:20I love you.
20:23I love you, guys.
20:25I love you.
20:26I love you.
20:27Thanks.
20:28Oh, my gosh.
20:30Ah!
20:32Oh, what a surprise.
20:34Wasn't expecting the second one.
20:35Film a meet-cute between you and your loveliest thing.
20:39Cutest meet-cute wins.
20:40You have 45 minutes.
20:42Your time starts now.
20:48All right, so just to clarify for people who don't watch romantic comedies,
20:53what is a meet-cute?
20:55It is an amusing or charming first encounter.
20:58Between two characters that leads to a romantic relationship.
21:01So, two of our contestants are going to develop a romantic relationship with a ute.
21:05Well, Mel is.
21:07Her loveliest thing is a ute.
21:09Rhys' loveliest thing is the concept of driving.
21:14Okay.
21:15Conchetta's is the paper mache little me.
21:18Aaron's is a Westy Terrier figurine.
21:20And Pete's is five jars of lolly.
21:24Right, who's meet-cute are we going to see first?
21:26Well, she's a fan of rom-coms, so she'll get this reference.
21:30Oh, my God.
21:35Types of meet-cutes.
21:37Coffee shop.
21:38Dropping stuff is famous.
21:39F*** on a bus.
21:41Where it's like,
21:43oh, my God, you're looking at me too.
21:45And then like,
21:47oh, my God, you haven't looked away.
21:49Sometimes when there's someone like really scary on the bus,
21:52I think, don't look at them.
21:53But then I can't help it.
21:56They think you're into them.
21:59You should not be looking at them, Tom.
22:02Are they going to walk off the bus with you?
22:04A little bush.
22:05This is why you can't find love.
22:07You're not looking at the girl who's looking at you,
22:09because you're looking at the guy who soiled himself on the bus.
22:12Oh, God, you really need this.
22:15He's going to get something you never get.
22:17I'm going to f*** out of this little guy.
22:33Oh, oh, hey there.
22:35What are you reading?
22:36A time to dance.
22:37What about you on your iPad?
22:39Are you reading?
22:40No, I don't really read.
22:41I prefer to watch.
22:42Oh, what are you watching?
22:44I'm currently watching a documentary about sand.
22:46Wow, sounds amazing.
22:50Oh, I think this is our star.
22:54Should I come?
22:55Yeah, yeah.
22:56Did you know there are more stars in the universe
22:58than there are grains of sand in the world?
23:01Wow, I'm learning so much.
23:03There's no one at the library desk.
23:05I guess I'll call them.
23:07They've got me on hold.
23:09There's something I'd like to hold.
23:12And I'm not talking about an iPad.
23:25What was the inspiration for your little meet-cute film there?
23:29My whole vibe is inspired by the movie
23:33When Harry Met Sally.
23:34And I think I slayed the challenge.
23:38I also like your commitment to acting in the middle there too
23:41when you mimed the bus stopping.
23:45Maybe all five of you can be on the same bus and it can stop.
23:48Okay.
23:50Now.
23:53It's not bad.
23:58Okay, LT, I'm ready for another meet-cute.
24:01Who's up next?
24:01She's got a head, she's got heels,
24:03but can she make one fall over the other?
24:05It's Mel Buddle.
24:07I don't know.
24:07It's kind of big.
24:09That's all the car, sweetheart.
24:10I think if anything, I'm probably just going to leave.
24:12I'm probably going to...
24:12Whoa!
24:14What?
24:14I'm so sorry.
24:15I didn't see...
24:17Peter?
24:18Peter Peterson for Mrs. Avery's geography class.
24:21You look amazing.
24:23Wow!
24:28Look at your rope.
24:30It's still so tight.
24:31I remember your window.
24:35And your mirror.
24:38It hasn't changed a bit.
24:43I would like to buy this car.
24:45Okay.
24:45Wow, shall you come into the office,
24:47put a little deposit down on your friend here?
24:51that you know from high school?
24:53Yeah.
24:54Peter, you're coming home with me.
24:55You're coming home for Christmas.
25:06Is it romantic to purchase your partner?
25:10Because you bought your love.
25:13Yeah.
25:14Yep.
25:14100%.
25:15Any more questions on the task?
25:18What kind of chemistry did you build up with your ute?
25:21You know what they did not show,
25:22and I'm absolutely baffled as to why?
25:25You know the aerial on the...
25:27The antenna on the front?
25:29Yeah.
25:30I d***ed that off.
25:34So vigorously that I broke the aerial.
25:39Yet we do not see my item job on the...
25:43Okay, well, it's time to take a break.
25:45And during it,
25:46here's a cheeky puzzle for you to solve.
25:48My eyelids are a beach.
25:50My father is one that squeaks.
25:52What am I?
25:53More Taskmaster after this.
26:07Welcome back to Taskmaster.
26:09If you tried to solve that riddle I set before the break,
26:12suck shit because I made it up.
26:15Where were we, Tom?
26:16Our contestants had to identify the loveliest thing
26:19on the Taskmaster retreat
26:20and then had to act out a meet-cute with that thing.
26:23So far, Conchetta, hers has taken place on a bus,
26:25and Mel's has taken place with a car.
26:28How will our next contestant fare,
26:30having made their love interest the concept of driving,
26:33it's Rhys Nicholson.
26:48Are you Hitler?
26:50Who's Hitler?
26:50A real arsehole.
26:52You don't need to worry about it.
26:53Oh, right.
26:53Who are you?
26:54What year is this?
26:56It's 1903,
26:57the year that the first motor company was founded.
27:00I'm the founder.
27:01What does your company do?
27:03I think what the company's going to do
27:04is mass manufacture vehicles that are motorised.
27:08So if you were to put that in kind of conceptual terms,
27:10how would you explain that?
27:11I suppose now you ask that question,
27:12I suppose I've just devised the concept of driving.
27:16The concept of driving?
27:19Yeah.
27:20Wow.
27:23Wow.
27:36Hey, what the hell?
27:37Get away from my concept.
27:39That's my concept.
27:40No, we're in love.
27:41This is my concept.
27:45We've got to get out of here.
27:48I love you, the concept of driving.
27:52Yeah!
27:59So you had to fall in love with something pretty abstract.
28:02Yeah.
28:02I think you did a great job.
28:04It was surprising to me how quickly I got to,
28:07all right, time travel.
28:08Dress like a condom.
28:10Quick.
28:11I'd like to point out that that is the third time
28:14Reece has killed me in a task.
28:18Yeah.
28:21All right, Tommy Tickle Mouse, who's up next?
28:23This one is for fans of puppy love,
28:26by which I mean falling in love with a puppy.
28:27It's Erin Chan.
28:29Oh, my gosh.
28:30It's my first day at Animal High
28:32and all the seats at the cafeteria are taken.
28:36Except the one next to Westy.
28:38Hello there, kangaroo.
28:40Not today, Westy.
28:42I can't be bothered answering another nerdy question.
28:45Welcome to the school.
28:46Cuter.
28:48Welcome to the school.
28:49Are there like a million kangaroos in Australia?
28:53Thanks for your question.
28:54I would answer it if it weren't so stupid.
28:58Even though you're super cute.
29:00I'm a jock.
29:02And it can't be.
29:10Hold on.
29:11I thought only Aussies liked gum leaf pasta.
29:14I think gum leaf pasta is so cool.
29:17Oh, my gosh.
29:18I didn't know that about you.
29:20I totally wrote you off.
29:22We got to be together.
29:24This is a meet cute of cute proportions.
29:27Unfortunately, I am a kangaroo and you're a Westy.
29:33And according to law, that's not allowed.
29:35There's one exception to that rule.
29:37What's that?
29:38We could be together if we were in space.
29:41You mean like in a satellite?
29:43That's exactly what I mean.
29:44We need to have 20 working monitors.
29:47What's the cutest way to get to space, Westy?
29:50We can float in our love.
29:53Like this.
30:00Wow, Westy.
30:01We're in a satellite with 20 monitors.
30:04Now we can finally be in love.
30:13Well, I'm just trying to picture what you're going for there.
30:16It's a bit confusing at times.
30:17I feel like you're going for a Lady and the Tramp moment.
30:19Yeah.
30:19But you didn't actually do that moment.
30:21It sort of looked like you were just halfway through flossing your teeth.
30:24Well, I didn't really have time to really think about the implications and stuff.
30:29We just had to get to that space scene because I did request 20 monitors.
30:35Can I ask a question?
30:36Keshen, why did you have so much blush on?
30:38Yeah.
30:39Aaron was very focused on the scene's cuteness.
30:42So focused that even voice actors that weren't going to appear
30:46had to wear rouge.
30:49Anyway, love is still in the air.
30:51Let's finish this and get rid of it.
30:53It's stinking up the vibe.
30:55Who's next?
30:57He's literally written and starred in a romantic comedy film.
31:00It's Peter Hellion.
31:02I just want to make a toast to my girls.
31:07A special heads up to a beautiful friend, Donna, who has quit drinking.
31:13Well done, Donna.
31:14Oh, water's so nice.
31:16Now, I want to thank you guys for being the best friends possible.
31:19Because as you know, my heart was broken 30 years ago when I lost my beautiful man, Pete,
31:24in that tragic accident that nobody really quite explained to me.
31:28But Donna, you were there.
31:29Yeah, I was there.
31:30And you saw the whole thing, right?
31:31Actually, because this is my first day sober, I'm starting to see things a lot more clearer.
31:36And I can actually tell you that he's actually still alive.
31:39What?
31:40What?
31:41What?
31:42Yeah, and I can tell you that Pete is leading down by the old ranch in the old caravan.
31:47What?
31:48The caravan just in the next town?
31:51Yeah, exactly.
31:52Oh, my God.
31:53Forget about him.
31:54Forget about him.
31:55You can do better than him.
31:57Shut up, Eileen.
31:58Fix your bloody eye.
31:59I'm going to find Pete, the love of my life.
32:05Pete.
32:06Pete.
32:07I know you're in there.
32:08Please come out.
32:09I know it was a hoax.
32:10I know you're alive.
32:13Cindy Gumballs?
32:15It's me, Pete.
32:16It's me.
32:17Oh, I love you, Cindy Gumballs.
32:20Oh.
32:21Oh.
32:23Oh, it's been so long.
32:27Oh.
32:29And what about my friends?
32:31Oh, I love all your friends equally.
32:33Oh, me as well.
32:37Oh, you're so good.
32:41Oh, God.
32:42Why were you pretending to be dead, Pete?
32:44I wasn't pretending to be dead.
32:46It was a rumor.
32:47Now...
32:48But you just live a town down.
32:49Why didn't you come and say hello?
32:50Because I've been drinking.
32:52Oh.
32:52That doesn't sound like an excuse.
32:54It just sounds like another thing you've been doing, Pete.
32:55No, well, me and Cindy Gumballs are going to go catch up, if you know what I mean.
32:59What do you mean?
33:00You've got to stay out here.
33:01We're going to get sexy.
33:03Yeah.
33:06Oh, my God.
33:08Cindy Gumballs.
33:15What were you doing with the lollies in the caravan there, Pete?
33:17Getting sticky.
33:20I was very happy to see you working wigs back into it again.
33:23I love it.
33:24Like I said, my biggest influence is the footy show.
33:28It was fun.
33:29It was bloody fun.
33:30Yeah.
33:30And it was a bloody good story.
33:31Yeah, I know.
33:32It wasn't just a scene.
33:32It was a whole story there.
33:34It was very moving.
33:35No, I know.
33:36Well, there was a history, wasn't there?
33:37Yeah.
33:37Because that was you meeting your love interest, not for the first time, wasn't it?
33:43No.
33:44No.
33:45The love was real.
33:46What you don't understand is the guy in the caravan was a twin.
33:53What's it mean, kid, again?
33:54An amusing or charming first encounter between two characters that leads to a romantic relationship.
34:01Well, now I'm worried.
34:02Now I've got to think through all the films.
34:04Mel knew her love interest as well.
34:07People change.
34:08People change.
34:09I remember you saying, the ute, you were in the same class at high school together.
34:13But that was the question.
34:14I was like, weren't we?
34:15Were we?
34:15And we didn't hear the ute.
34:16What did the ute say?
34:18Non-verbal.
34:19Couldn't hear the answer.
34:20So I guess the question will go unanswered.
34:23All right, well, I'd better allocate some points.
34:25Yep.
34:26So I think that's fair that I don't think it was a meet-cute with Pete.
34:29So he's last on one.
34:30Okay.
34:31Also, I'm a bit sketchy on Mel's.
34:33So that's two points to Mel.
34:34Okay.
34:35Three points to Aaron Chen because it was pretty cute, but not cute enough.
34:39So three.
34:40I'm going to give Rhys four points because they had a high level of difficulty to get over
34:44because Rhys fell in love with the concept.
34:47But the comedian who adhered to genre the most was Concetta.
34:51So five points to Concetta.
34:55No more meet-cutes for you, audience.
34:57You've fallen in love, got married, and now you're stuck in a boring, repetitive rut.
35:01Luckily, we have television to fill the abyss that was once your heart.
35:05And there's more of that coming up right after this.
35:19Welcome back to Taskmaster, the thrilling show where five people are working as hard
35:23as they can to win bobbleheads to put in their cars that at least one of them can't drive.
35:29What have we got next, Lester Tom?
35:30I hope you like your comedy clean.
35:45How are you doing?
35:49How are you doing?
35:50I'm Rhys.
35:51Shall I?
35:55Recreate the Sydney Opera House out of soap.
35:58You have 30 minutes.
36:00Best soap opera house wins.
36:03Your time starts now.
36:04Can we get a photo of the opera house?
36:06Or do we have to do it from memory?
36:07I can show you a photo.
36:09We're allowed to see a photo.
36:10It should be white, because the opera house is white.
36:12Just make sure they don't use that in a different context.
36:14The opera house is white and it's very white.
36:18All right, Team Tars are back.
36:20So we've got Ernie and Bert, of course, and the Muppets.
36:23Should we get straight into it?
36:24Let's do it.
36:25It's time for the Taskmaster contestant most likely to star in a soap opera,
36:29and the least likely, and everyone else in between.
36:31It's Aaron, Concerta, Mel, Pete, and Rhys.
36:33Do you think it's what it feels like to be a drug dealer?
36:35There's lots of little bricks in weird plastic rooms.
36:39I don't know what you're talking about.
36:40So much soap.
36:41Kids in Africa who aren't even on Taskmaster.
36:44It's such a waste.
36:45This is kind of glue, right?
36:47Soap.
36:48Watch this.
36:50See?
36:51I can put you something.
36:52What are you asking?
36:53Maybe a knife?
36:54Okay.
36:55Just for myself.
36:57Is this riveting television?
36:58Could be.
37:02Should we see if this even works?
37:03Let's see if we can.
37:04What?
37:05That's the end of your...
37:06Okay.
37:07This is going to sound obvious, but please be careful with the knives.
37:09Shut up.
37:11There's no white.
37:12There's no white.
37:13We're going to have to use our imagination on the white Concerta.
37:15Okay.
37:15I worked that out a few minutes ago, but I love that you're sticking with it.
37:20How much time do we have there?
37:21Ten minutes and 15 seconds.
37:22Oh, that's going to be heaps of tourists.
37:24What other tourists is it going to look like?
37:25People, Tom.
37:27Yeah, you idiot.
37:29I think we just go flat.
37:30Flat.
37:31Flat.
37:31Yeah.
37:33You, Tom.
37:34Careful of my sail.
37:35Sorry, sorry.
37:36Soap masters.
37:37Don't, because Channel 10 will make that.
37:40Every time I move them, they look bad.
37:42I'm not thrilled, mate.
37:43Why?
37:44Why are you not thrilled?
37:44I just...
37:45What if those other idiots, like, they've thought of a secret way that we haven't thought of?
37:50Not bad.
37:50It's a gorgeous sunset.
37:52What are the yellow things on the ferry?
37:53Cheese.
37:54Oh.
37:55Five minutes, 45 seconds.
37:56No!
37:57What?
37:57Are there any other elements you'd like to add?
37:59What about, um, you might have the same idea.
38:02Yeah.
38:03Well, let's say, it rains in Sydney quite a bit.
38:06Holy smokes.
38:0730 seconds.
38:08No!
38:09No!
38:09Is that good?
38:10Are you happy with that?
38:11Well, look at mine and compare the pair.
38:13That was really nasty.
38:15I didn't mean to be nasty, but it's another element.
38:17I was about to do the same thing.
38:19Here we go.
38:20Okay, forget mine.
38:21Forget mine.
38:22Just do yours.
38:22Part of that.
38:23Just do yours.
38:2312 seconds.
38:24Whoop!
38:24I've lost a lot of trust in a certain young lady today.
38:27That's it!
38:28Stop pushing.
38:29Thanks on the floor!
38:29Sorry!
38:34Thanks, Mel.
38:35Thanks, Conchata.
38:37Oh, boy.
38:45Well, it was a bit tricky.
38:46It's hard to judge them because they're both kind of equally shit.
38:49I mean, not all tasks are built equally, and we did our best.
38:53Yeah, it wasn't.
38:54I'm surprised it made the edit, to be honest.
39:00Well, I think it might be the worst team task I've ever seen in the history of the show.
39:04I mean, I felt like Ernie and Bert in particular, it was almost like you were doing two different buildings.
39:09Anything you'd like to say, Conchata?
39:11No.
39:12All right.
39:13I left it all out there.
39:15I think maybe there's something else we should take.
39:27Hi, Tom.
39:29Hey, Tom.
39:30Hi, Pete.
39:31This is the biggest new locker.
39:32Oh, my God.
39:35It's just this.
39:36Death.
39:38Your next team task is irrelevant.
39:40The real task is this.
39:42In the start of a soap opera scene.
39:44Dramatically destroy your team's creation.
39:47Most dramatic soap opera destruction wins.
39:50If your teammate realize you're acting any time before the studio record.
39:53Your team will be disqualified.
39:56The time starts whenever you think it's most dramatic.
40:00During your next task.
40:02So I need to destroy the hard work of the team.
40:06For the good of the team.
40:08For the good of the team.
40:09Good luck.
40:17When Pete poured the water, it really improved the sculpture.
40:23So it's tricky to understand.
40:25So for the good of the team, you had to destroy the task.
40:27But you only succeeded, though, if they didn't know.
40:31If they didn't suspect.
40:31Which clearly, I think we've proven that I had no idea.
40:34In fact, they actually were thankful and grateful that I was there on the day helping out.
40:39Pete, like Pete's impact made such little impact on me that I don't remember doing any of that.
40:45Bert, did Ernie get away with it?
40:47I think if you watch, if we're going on the clip that was shown, it is not clear.
40:52No, no one knew what was going on.
40:55Based on the clip.
40:56Would you like to see another clip?
40:57No.
41:04You can do boats as well.
41:06I think we should also just mainly focus on the opera house.
41:11Well, we can do that, yeah.
41:14That's a huge tick, I'd say.
41:16I think they think I'm having a breakdown.
41:18I'm not.
41:19No.
41:19I'm doing really good.
41:20I don't think you are.
41:22What's that for?
41:23Well, it just fills in the steps.
41:25Kind of like glazed opera house.
41:27Yeah, like a glazed.
41:28Where's my...
41:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
41:29Where's my pointy sales?
41:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
41:33It rains in Sydney quite a bit.
41:36Holy smokes.
41:37Has he been told to sabotage this task?
41:39What?
41:39Because it was really good before.
41:41You don't agree with this?
41:42No.
41:43Oh, I get it.
41:44It's a trick task.
41:45I get it.
41:46No!
41:46It was her job to sabotage the task.
41:48And she gets as many points as she can.
41:51No.
41:52No?
41:52I think you owe me an apology, Aaron.
41:55I'm sorry that you ruined our task.
41:58I don't think you ruined it.
41:59I don't think you ruined it.
41:59I think it's better.
42:01No, I wouldn't do that.
42:02I think you would.
42:04Because you're not...
42:05No!
42:06A great actress.
42:07You happy with that?
42:07I'm a little bit upset with Aaron.
42:09Yeah, we'll sort it out upstairs.
42:10You can question my integrity and my commitment to the task.
42:14You did pour a bucket of water on her.
42:16To show a famous Sydney downfall.
42:20I'll do it again if you want.
42:21Like, that's what you want.
42:27I think I'd really like guessing the true point of the task.
42:30Okay.
42:30Which is to catch Conchetta out for sabotaging the task.
42:34He's crazy.
42:35He's difficult to work with.
42:44So, Mel, you said that you thought the task was sabotage
42:49and that you had to spot the sabotage.
42:51Yep.
42:52You idiot!
42:54You stupid bitch!
42:56Sorry.
42:57Not all of us can be Italian.
43:02Did I say that?
43:03Was that a green screen?
43:04Was it me?
43:05Was it a robot?
43:06Was it chat GPT?
43:07Was it AI?
43:08Was I under duress?
43:09Was there a gun to my head that was not visible?
43:11I would like to talk to a lawyer.
43:15Okay, well, I think it's pretty clear that Conchetta did not get away with it.
43:19But as for the Muppets, it's a bit tricky.
43:21Rhys seemed oblivious the whole time.
43:25But Aaron, on the other hand, you did say that you thought that sabotage was happening,
43:29didn't you?
43:29I asked, are you trying to sabotage?
43:32Did I not?
43:33That was so specifically, are you betraying me?
43:37That's the task.
43:38You spotted it.
43:39Yes, but that's how I talk to Pete.
43:42You also said Pete is hard to work with.
43:46Yes.
43:47I am!
43:49My genuine thought during the task was, Pete is crazy.
43:55Pete does not care about winning.
43:57He cares about the laughs, as he has over the span of his entire career.
44:04And we, with that argument, have won the task.
44:27It was actually, I made up my decision when we were showing the footage, because as soon
44:32as we showed the secret task, I saw Aaron watching it, and he went, oh, no way!
44:37Hooray!
44:40Because he thought he wasn't on camera, which means Aaron definitely did not know about
44:44the secret task, which means the Muppets win!
44:52Out of both pieces of sabotage, I think Ernie and Burtz were far more spectacular, and if
44:57you had won, I would have given you five, but you're disqualified, so you get nothing.
45:01The Muppets did win the task, but it wasn't quite as spectacular, so I'm going to give them
45:04three each.
45:05So it's 3-3-3.
45:08All right, it's time for some ads.
45:10In a true soapy fashion, we've got to leave this one on a cliffhanger.
45:15I'm your real dad.
45:18Back soon.
45:25Look, I know you're watching it now, but how about watching more later?
45:28Catch every moment of triumph and utter humiliation of Taskmaster Australia with full episodes
45:33at 10play.com.au or the 10play app.
45:41Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia, the show where five professional comedians smush soap
45:46together in their hands and try to pass your car.
45:50It's almost time for a live task here in the studio, but before we get there, Lesser Tom,
45:54where are we at for the scores in this episode?
45:57Well, we've got Pete last on nine points, but way out in front with 14 points, it's
46:01Aaron Chan!
46:04With a live task to go, anyone can still win it unless, of course, you know when numbers
46:09are more than five away from other numbers.
46:11But for hellia's sake, let's pretend you don't.
46:14To the stage!
46:20Lesser Tom, why are you standing next to a giant filing cabinet?
46:23It's my favourite thing.
46:25What have you got for us?
46:26Pete, could you please read the task?
46:30Select a pose, then step into this box and strike it.
46:35One of the doors will open to reveal part of your pose to the Taskmaster.
46:39The door that opens will be randomly selected.
46:42You may not move or change your pose or expression after the door has opened.
46:48Most poses deciphered by the Taskmaster wins.
46:52The first contestant will pick their first pose from Tom's deck of cards.
46:58Rhys, please select a pose.
47:18Is it 13, Tom Cashman?
47:24Pete, please select your pose.
47:3614, appealing cricket bowler.
47:42Mel, please select your pose.
47:54Number five, jogger.
47:58That was hard.
48:00Concetta, please select your pose.
48:12Number four, sprinter.
48:17Aaron, please select your pose.
48:31Rhys, please select your pose.
48:32Number 10, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
48:36Rhys, please select your pose.
48:50Number 12, karate practitioner.
48:56Please select your pose.
48:57Thank you, Tom.
48:58Roark, bro.,
49:05pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig, pig. And
49:07the last thing is, you will have to select the pose. Appealing
49:08cricket bowler.
49:15Mel, please select your pose.
49:2714, appealing cricket at bowler.
49:34Conchetta, please select your pose.
49:4511, mime.
49:51Aaron, please select your pose.
50:06I think that is seven, James Bond.
50:15All right, now you can strike a pose at home during the ads. See you soon.
50:29Welcome to Taskmaster Australia. If you're just tuning in, well that's pretty crazy.
50:33But basically what happened was there was a competition for the most distracting thing on a dashboard.
50:39Then we teased Pete, we teased Tom Cashman throughout the whole show.
50:43Then we made them all do a pose guessing competition and now we're here.
50:47But I think you need some scores for the live task, don't we?
50:50We do. You guessed zero of Pete's poses.
50:53Mel, Rhys and Conchetta each had one correctly guessed pose.
50:57But Aaron takes it out with two correctly guessed poses with five points.
51:01So we're going to allocate the points five, three, three, three, one.
51:05Sounds good.
51:06All right, well the nation is dying to know what's that done to the scoreboard for tonight's episode.
51:10The winner of tonight's episode is Aaron Chen with 19 points.
51:15Congratulations Aaron.
51:16You are now the proud owner of the most dangerous dashboard in the country.
51:21Head upstairs and enjoy your prizes please for everyone's sake.
51:25Stick to the back rows from now on.
51:29While Aaron is up there enjoying their bowl of piping room temperature soup,
51:33let's try and answer the question that has plagued philosophers since time immemorial.
51:38What's the scoreboard for season three of Taskmaster Australia looking like?
51:42Well after seven episodes we're starting to sort the adults from the children here.
51:46Mel on 93, she's a tiny little newborn baby.
51:50And being some people on death's door as current dual leaders, Aaron and Conchetta both on 111 points.
51:59And that brings us to the end of another episode of Taskmaster Australia,
52:04the single greatest television show ever devised.
52:06But what have we learned exactly from this excellently hosted show?
52:11We've learned that Aaron Chen requires a minimum of 20 monitors to find true love.
52:17And we learned that when Pete's happy and he wants us to know, he cuts his items.
52:27But most importantly, we've learned that Aaron Chen is the winner of this episode of Taskmaster.
52:33We'll see you next time. Good night.
52:35We'll see you next time on the top.
52:55Oh, welcome to Taskmaster.
52:58Well, it was me the whole time.
53:00OMG, yay!
53:02Let's do it!
53:03I know he was funny, but he had a f***ing bladder on it.
53:06Ho, ho, ho, ho!
53:09I'm not here to explain fashion.
53:11Good.
53:11Peace out!
53:14Please, no pictures.
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