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Taskmaster AU S03E06
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00:01No!
00:04No!
00:09Ah!
00:11Oh!
00:13Ah!
00:14Please, later!
00:27Is this good television?
00:37Hello and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:40Though these piping hot studio lights may be bouncing off my pearly dome,
00:45do not be mistaken for, like the great Gorgon Medusa,
00:49this head has a metaphorical hairpiece of snakes flowing off it.
00:53And these green eyes, if you happen to look into them,
00:56may well turn you to stone,
00:57or at the very least cause my personal security guard, Julio,
01:02to shout,
01:03don't look at him.
01:04For I am the all-powerful Taskmaster.
01:09The five comedians wanting daddy's love and affection are...
01:14Aaron Chen,
01:17Conchetta Caristo,
01:19Mel Buddle,
01:21Peter Hellyer,
01:23and Rhys Nicholson.
01:27And, as always, sitting patiently by my side and waiting for a bit of dinner to fall off my plate,
01:34it's my assistant, Tom Cashman.
01:40G'day Tom, what are you going to say this evening to endear yourself to Australia?
01:45Well, I think my relationship with you has changed my relationship with authority.
01:48I'm even more respectful than I used to be.
01:52I was in a shop this week and I asked to speak to the manager.
01:55I didn't even have a complaint.
01:56I just wanted to speak to a manager.
02:00And then the manager, she was like, is this it?
02:02This is a waste of my time.
02:03And I was like, well, that's actually a bit rude.
02:05I'd like to speak to your manager.
02:07And then I spoke to him.
02:08I'm like, you're a manager?
02:09That's crazy.
02:10And I just kept doing that over and over again.
02:12And that's how I met Harvey Norman.
02:18At this point, I'd like to have a go at Harvey Norman, but he's probably a sponsor.
02:23I've got no idea who sponsors this shit.
02:26Alright, Mr. Tom, kick us off.
02:28Well, our first task, as always, is a prize task.
02:30Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the best piece of art you
02:35paid $50 or less for.
02:37Sounds like it's time for a shit art exhibition.
02:40Aaron, what would you like to hang?
02:42Thanks for asking me.
02:43By the way, you're awesome.
02:45And near my house, there's actually like a vending machine for art.
02:51I put my credit card in and for $50, I got this artwork.
03:01It's actually a double-sided portrait.
03:09Great value.
03:10So, who are the portraits of?
03:17I think they're by a guy, I see the signature, called Philip Lowe.
03:25Alright, Mel, what did you bring in?
03:27I have drawn some portraits of people's dogs.
03:30I was paid to do this art.
03:32Now, I have been to university, I'm creative, and I think that is very obvious once you see the artwork.
03:45What?
03:46So, the task was, best piece of art you paid $50 or less for.
03:50That's right.
03:50So, I suppose the question is, if you get paid, is that kind of like even less than zero?
03:54That's right.
03:54It's like minus amounts of being paid.
03:56No, well, I'm happy with minus.
03:57How much were you paid for that?
04:011.7 million.
04:06That's a long way under 50.
04:08Unfortunately, the task is best piece of art.
04:11Yep, there it is.
04:11Oh, I see.
04:12So, you've earned money, and we've accepted that.
04:15Great.
04:15But the art's shit.
04:18Conchetta, what did you bring in?
04:20So, I went to an art class with my boyfriend.
04:23We paid $45 each, and we both painted our favourite celebrity.
04:32You know who that is, right?
04:34Oh, I'm thinking they're two generic Channel 10 newsreaders.
04:38It says coffee behind it.
04:40Is it Jerry Seinfeld?
04:42Yes!
04:44Oh, so you both painted Jerry Seinfeld.
04:47They're the same person.
04:48It's the same person.
04:49Wow.
04:49That's so sweet.
04:51Okay.
04:52Peter, what did you bring in?
04:54Let's raise the bar.
04:55What would you say if I told you that I managed to purchase,
04:59for under $50, an original Da Vinci?
05:04Yeah?
05:05Yeah?
05:06Yeah.
05:12Did you bring that in to show everyone that you're down with the kids?
05:16It was one of his early drafts.
05:18It's a very impressive piece of art.
05:20It is.
05:20It was during Da Vinci's t-shirt stage as well.
05:22Yeah.
05:23He famously used the dab method.
05:29I think it's very impressive.
05:31Rhys, what have you got?
05:32I think rare art is what we're looking for.
05:34And so on eBay, I typed in rare art and I found this.
05:40Oh.
05:45Sorry, I just had a moment there where I genuinely forgot that I released a single.
05:48Yeah.
05:49If we move to the next one, I have a few questions.
05:52Okay.
05:54You've got the United States of Australia, the United States of Australia, the radio edit,
05:58the United States of Australia, the karaoke edit.
06:01Yes.
06:02I wish I could play it for you.
06:04Neither myself nor the production in the last week have worked out how to get it played.
06:10What you're forgetting too is that if you could work out how to play it, you would have
06:15to get the permission from the rights of the owner.
06:17Yeah, yeah.
06:18So I'd have to grant it.
06:19Yeah.
06:20And I don't.
06:24All right.
06:24Well, a lot to think about there.
06:26Mel's was not great artwork, so that's one for Mel.
06:28Two points to Aaron Chen because I don't know how to break this to him because he seems
06:32so unaware of what he does.
06:35I mean, I know he dresses it up as comedy, but I think he's genuinely thick.
06:40I'm not quite getting it, but I'll accept the points.
06:45I'm going to give three points to Pete.
06:46Three points to Da Vinci.
06:47I've got a feeling I think it may not be an original.
06:51I didn't want to say anything.
06:53Yeah.
06:54Four points to Concetta.
06:56But because it was the greatest artwork on offer tonight, obviously I'm going to give
06:59five points to Reece.
07:02I mean, it was a masterpiece.
07:05All right.
07:05Let's get on with it.
07:06Show me a proper task.
07:08What better way to get this episode started than a steaming warm bucket of Joe.
07:26I thought I might come out with a strut.
07:28Oh, right.
07:28Yeah.
07:29You look nice.
07:30Oh, thanks.
07:32Okay.
07:33I can cheddar.
07:35Oh, a wet one.
07:37It's in a bucket.
07:39Oh, it's warm.
07:42Why is it warm?
07:43Is this coffee?
07:45Or is it Puvikaka water?
07:47What was the second option?
07:49Puvikaka water.
07:50Oh.
07:51I'll open that up, shall I?
07:54Drop the coffee.
07:56Drop the coffee.
07:56You have 10 minutes and one drop only.
08:00Most litres of unspilled coffee multiplied by metres dropped wins.
08:07What?
08:08You have to help me understand.
08:11Your time starts now.
08:14I don't get it!
08:19Well, Conchetta, it's good to see you back doing what you do best, being confused by a task.
08:24So, uh, lesser time, can you slow it down for her?
08:27Basically, it's the number of metres dropped multiplied by the number of litres of coffee left in whatever receptacle after
08:34the drop occurs.
08:34First up, a couple of flat whites, it's Pete and Reece.
08:39Does it need to stay in here?
08:41Like, if I tip it into another vessel, is that spilling?
08:44A spill is an accident.
08:45A spill is an accident?
08:46A spill is an accident.
08:47I was a spill.
08:48You were a spill?
08:49I was an accident.
08:50Oh.
08:51That seems too high.
08:53To prevent spillage.
08:54Yeah.
08:55I have 10 minutes.
08:56I have 10 minutes.
08:56Seven minutes, 30.
08:58Alright.
08:58What's happening here?
08:59I'm going to put the coffee in this bag.
09:01You're going to put all that coffee in that?
09:02Because then I'm going to lock this up.
09:04Oh, and none of it will spill out of that?
09:06Mate, these are...
09:07If this is a good brand, that coffee is not going anywhere.
09:10I'm going to fill these with coffee.
09:12Okay.
09:14This is good.
09:14This is actually a good idea.
09:16This is really nice.
09:18You're going to pour some coffee in here.
09:20Zeppelin song.
09:21Pour some coffee in...
09:23What album is that all?
09:24Um, Hysteria.
09:26Oh.
09:26And now this doesn't feel.
09:27So the problem with what is happening here is...
09:30The budget on the show.
09:31Okay.
09:31There we go.
09:32This is actually good stuff.
09:34It'll do.
09:34It'll do.
09:35This is not good.
09:37This is a good idea.
09:39This is actually a really good idea.
09:40And I'm going to go...
09:43I'm going to go up there.
09:44Okay.
09:44And I'm going to drop it.
09:45Okay.
09:46And it's not going to spill.
09:49Nah.
09:50I'm just going to provide some security for the coffee in the bag.
09:54Mm-hmm.
09:54Do you have an idea of where you're going to drop it from?
09:56I'm going to climb up on the third railing of that.
09:59On here?
09:59Yeah.
10:00Yeah.
10:00Wow.
10:00I want you to know...
10:02I know this isn't good.
10:04Okay.
10:04It's ready to go.
10:05The genius in this is the...
10:07Genius?
10:08Is the...
10:08Basically created the goombag.
10:10Right.
10:10Classic thing I associate with geniuses.
10:13So I'm going to do it now.
10:15And it's not going to spill.
10:17Okay.
10:17You ready?
10:18Yep.
10:19One...
10:20Two, three.
10:22Oh!
10:24There we go.
10:28Pretty good.
10:29Here we go.
10:33Perfect.
10:37Nailed it.
10:38I mean...
10:39That's refreshing.
10:40There's some in your mouth?
10:42Yeah.
10:42It's a bit weaker.
10:43You say it's a bit stronger?
10:49Now hear me out.
10:50Yeah.
10:51As I explained at the beginning of the task...
10:54Right.
10:54A spill is only an accident.
10:57If you know exactly how this is going to end...
11:01They don't know accident, baby.
11:03So that is not spilt liquid.
11:05That is distributed liquid.
11:07Yeah.
11:13Now, Peter, you dropped your coffee from...
11:17How high do you reckon it was?
11:18Oh, 20 foot.
11:21I didn't want to go too high.
11:22Yeah, I know.
11:23So I went maybe...
11:24Let's say 20 foot.
11:25Let's say that.
11:26I would like to point out...
11:27There was a lot of coffee still in that bucket.
11:29May have seen a bit of a splash.
11:30Well, I know.
11:31I think heaps stayed in.
11:32And I think that once again in this show, Pete, you've shown that your lack of ambition paid off.
11:41Can we get the results on how they did?
11:43Absolutely.
11:44There were 7 litres of coffee in the bucket at the beginning of the task.
11:47Pete had 6.1 litres after the drop.
11:50Pete dropped the bucket from 1.49 metres, which means 9.09 litermetres is Peter's score.
11:58But there was a tiny bit of coffee left in the bag that Rhys dropped.
12:02But heaps on the concrete and the grass.
12:06Are we accepting this?
12:08No.
12:10There was 16 millilitres left there.
12:14Which, multiplied by 5.1 metres, your litermetre score is 0.816.
12:22Who's next, Lister Tom?
12:23One of them says, don't talk to me before I've had my coffee.
12:25The other says, don't even talk to me all the time.
12:28It's Conchetta and Mel.
12:29Can I use anything in the area?
12:32Sure.
12:38Is this you inspecting the area?
12:39Yep.
12:40I wonder how much we'd spill just from there.
12:42I don't want to get dirty.
12:43You don't want to get dirty?
12:44Look at me, I look beautiful.
12:46I've got to go out later.
12:47You're going out in that later?
12:48Yeah.
12:48Where are you going?
12:49To the club.
12:51You can come if you want.
12:53We're not in there.
12:54No way.
12:56Is this to cushion the fall?
12:57Yep.
12:58Very good, Tom.
12:59Very clever.
12:59I bet maths and science and physics comes to play.
13:03You think maths and science and physics comes to play?
13:06Yeah.
13:06What's so crazy about that sentence?
13:08I think the phrase maybe you were reaching for is that it comes into play.
13:11Yeah.
13:14It's my girlies.
13:16Science, maths.
13:18To play.
13:19To play in the club.
13:22So it's going to land straight up?
13:23Yeah, good point.
13:24Yep.
13:25Yeah, it will.
13:26Definitely land straight up.
13:28Yep.
13:28Oh, what about something like this?
13:32Are you going to drop?
13:33I don't know.
13:34How long have I got?
13:35Six minutes and seven seconds.
13:36Oh, we should be just chatting.
13:38Hanging out.
13:39Shooting the shit.
13:42That's pretty good.
13:50Okay.
13:58I'm scared.
13:59You're scared?
14:00I don't know if I could go much higher than this.
14:02This looks good quality.
14:04Okay.
14:05What are you going to do?
14:06I'm going to go low.
14:07Low drop.
14:07Okay.
14:08Max litres instead of max metres.
14:10Okay.
14:1121 seconds left.
14:12How long?
14:1221.
14:13Girlies, I'll see you at the club.
14:16Turn.
14:18Nine!
14:25No!
14:26No!
14:27Ten seconds.
14:28Ten.
14:29Nine.
14:30Eight.
14:31Seven.
14:42Oh, that's empty.
14:44That is good and empty.
14:53Now, at one point, Conchetta, you told yourself to be smart.
14:58Why didn't you come up with that strategy earlier in this series?
15:04Can I be frank with you, Tom?
15:07Sure.
15:07I think my motto the whole time was, have fun and just hang out with Tom Cashman.
15:13That's why I didn't really think too hard.
15:16I think you spent most of the time actually just getting ready to go to the club.
15:22I love it.
15:23I love when you say it.
15:24I love when you say it.
15:25Now, Mel, you never really miss a chance to rap, and then you just uttered out in the
15:29middle of a sentence, max litres instead of max metres.
15:34He's got flow when she's just riffing.
15:37I was very impressed with that.
15:38Thank you, my dude.
15:39How many points would you say?
15:40That's like a six, five, four.
15:43I feel like we need the actual measurement.
15:45What happened there?
15:46Well, Mel was actually very successful at guessing how many millilitres were left in the bucket.
15:51She guessed that there were 700.
15:52There were 730 millilitres left in the bucket.
15:55I know myself.
15:56You dropped it from 0.37 metres high, which gives you a litre-metre score of 0.27.
16:03There was 39 millilitres left in Conchetta's bucket, multiplied by 1.98 metres gives her a 0.077 litre-metre.
16:13All this coffee chat has got my mouth watering.
16:15Time for a break so I can yell at my assistant to go and get me a coffee.
16:19More Taskmaster after this.
16:31Welcome back to Taskmaster, everyone, where five comedians are competing for the thing every comedian dreams of but few ever
16:38attain.
16:39$50.
16:41We've been watching comedians run around dropping coffee and I'm not describing their day jobs as baristas.
16:46What am I describing, Lester Tom?
16:48Our contestants are dropping coffee from the highest height they can while spilling the least of it.
16:53Next up, he likes his coffee and he likes women but there's no relationship between the two.
16:57It's Aaron Chen.
16:59Can I get a towel?
17:00I'll get you a towel.
17:01Yeah, please.
17:02Many towels.
17:02Many towels?
17:03As many.
17:03Oh, fabric.
17:04Lots of fabric?
17:05Yeah.
17:05Okay.
17:06And get on it.
17:06Okay.
17:07Alright.
17:08Oh my gosh.
17:09Let's go upstairs, Tom.
17:11We're going upstairs?
17:12Yeah.
17:12So what are you doing?
17:13So I'm going to soak the coffee in the towels so there's less likelihood of spillage and then you're going
17:20to ring the towels at the end.
17:21I'm going to ring them?
17:22What will I say?
17:24No joking, mate.
17:25Okay.
17:25See if these towels remain.
17:27Yeah.
17:28Then any coffee that is soaked into these towels.
17:31That all counts?
17:32That all counts.
17:33It's unspilled.
17:34Do you have a gaffer tape?
17:36How much time do we have left?
17:37Four minutes and five seconds.
17:39I'll be having a nap at the end of this.
17:41Do you want me to get you a pillow?
17:42Yeah, please.
17:45Just some more for a good measure and then I'm going to wrap it in a towel.
17:52What's that for?
17:54To cushion.
17:55I'm not going to have a nap anymore, I've decided.
17:58Okay.
17:58Alright.
18:00This is so scary.
18:01Okay.
18:02I should have...
18:03What are you scared of?
18:04That this is going to break and...
18:07Oh, yes!
18:12Number one.
18:13You happy with that?
18:14Yeah.
18:15That's zero spillage.
18:17No spillage?
18:17Maybe a few droplets at the start.
18:19A few droplets?
18:20I mean...
18:22Yeah, no spillage.
18:28Aaron, that may have been the best executed task we've ever seen on this show.
18:33Thank you for saying that.
18:36I mean, even lesser Tom's joke about phoning the towels couldn't ruin it.
18:41So, was there any spillage at all?
18:43There was a bit of spillage at the beginning when he was taking the bucket up, but there was 6
18:46.94 litres left in the bucket.
18:50If you multiply that by the distance dropped, which was exactly 5 metres, 34.7 litres metres.
19:00I can't believe I'm asking this, but where does that place him in this task?
19:05Well, afterwards...
19:08Conchetta takes home 1 point.
19:09Then we've got Mel on 2.
19:10You joke around, Rhys.
19:11You somehow get 3 points.
19:14Pete gets 4.
19:14And the winner of the task, of course, is Aaron Chen with 5 points!
19:20So, what does that mean for our scores, Lisseter?
19:22Everyone is doing so well, but the leader on 8 points is Rhys.
19:28Alright, Strudel Boy, one more task please.
19:30This one involves an out-of-retreat excursion.
19:33Did they all get their permission slips signed on time?
19:50Hi, Mel.
19:50Hi, Bean Juice.
19:51Good morning.
19:52What a beautiful day, Tom.
19:55You like rain?
19:56Love it.
19:56Hey, Tom.
19:59Who's this?
20:00This is me, but I'm cool.
20:03Alright.
20:04Is that supposed to be there?
20:06Cowboy themed.
20:07Maybe.
20:11Ask your taxi driver about how their day has been.
20:14The taxi has been arranged to take you to the shops and back.
20:18Women love shopping!
20:19I love the shops.
20:20You have until the taxi returns to get as much detail about their day as you can.
20:26Your time starts now.
20:29Thanks, Tom.
20:30Why is there a cowboy boot?
20:33It's not cowboy themed.
20:35You could have just said no.
20:37Hello!
20:38Hi!
20:39My name's Aaron.
20:40Hi, Aaron. I'm Tony.
20:41What's your name, Tony?
20:42Yeah.
20:43Tony, good.
20:44And we're going to the shops.
20:46Take your time though.
20:47Drive slowly.
20:47I get real bad motion sickness.
20:57Hey, Tom.
20:58Hi, Pete.
20:59He's nice.
21:00Yeah?
21:00He's a lovely bloke.
21:03Um...
21:03Look, there's a second shoe.
21:05Huh?
21:06You could learn a thing or two from Tony.
21:08What could I learn from Tony?
21:09About getting to the point.
21:11Oh, okay.
21:12If I asked him if this was cowboy themed, he'd give me a yes or no answer.
21:16Okay.
21:16So who are they?
21:18Well, you'll see.
21:24Write and perform a country song about your taxi driver's day.
21:29Most powerful country song wins.
21:31You have 60 minutes.
21:32Your time starts now.
21:35Wow.
21:35I can't sing or play an instrument in the slightest, Tom.
21:40Can you sing?
21:40Oh, yeah.
21:41I've got some pipes.
21:42I've got some pipes.
21:44He eats a mixture of seven different types of cereals.
21:47What?
21:48Seven different types of cereals.
21:50Every morning?
21:50Yeah.
21:51Let's, um, let's go write the song.
21:53Yeah.
21:57Uh, so we can't let this slide.
22:00Aaron, what's your name, Tony?
22:05No, I'm still, um, developing in terms of social skills.
22:10Now, Pete, did you find it hard?
22:12Because, like, as a celebrity, you obviously normally sit in the back seat,
22:15pretend to be on your phone so you don't have to talk to drivers.
22:19I didn't like it.
22:25All right, well, whose drawer are we going to hear first?
22:27She comes from the country.
22:29The country is Italy.
22:30It's Concetta Caristo.
22:31Good night.
22:36I met a girl called Noressa.
22:41She lives a wonderful life.
22:47Wakes up in the morning to a channel called 93.9.
22:57She starts every day with a coffee.
23:03Prefers it black like the night.
23:08But don't get her started on traffic.
23:12Cause that's one of her drops.
23:19Oh, Noressa, Noressa, you and I'll split too soon.
23:29She showers in the morning.
23:33She showers in the morning and she's a Gemini.
23:35I hope we meet again real soon.
23:43I love you, Noressa.
23:51I can't believe I'm saying this, but Concetta, that actually wasn't that bad.
23:58Are you a professional singer?
24:00Yes.
24:03And you did some great rhymes in there too.
24:05I like the way that you rhymed.
24:06You and I split too soon with, I hope we meet again real soon.
24:12The way you got soon to rhyme with soon.
24:14Rappers do it.
24:15So can I.
24:17Alright, give us a B-side Cashman.
24:19Who's next?
24:20Will he ban Joe when Joe's one of his best mates?
24:22It's Peter Hellyer.
24:23One, two, three, four.
24:26Brian's fingers gripped the will of a taxi he drives so far.
24:31Those fingers that never quite learnt to play guitar.
24:37Brian pulled over one day to satisfy his appetite.
24:41He never knew Cupid was about to do him right.
24:48Brian with an eye.
24:51Loves Lisa with a Y.
24:53One day they might marry.
24:56This flightless bird needs to fly.
25:00This flightless bird needs to carry.
25:02This flightless bird needs to fly.
25:06Flightless bird needs to carry.
25:07Flightless bird needs to fly.
25:10This flightless bird needs to fly.
25:13This flightless bird needs to fly.
25:15This flightless bird needs to fly.
25:21This flightless bird needs to fly.
25:26I feel like you looked the part of a country music star, but it didn't quite land.
25:32Is that fair?
25:33Agree to disagree.
25:33Um, I mean, I nearly got Tom killed by that.
25:38Oh, I'm not saying there wasn't an upside.
25:43Pete thought it would be a good shot
25:44if I was standing in front of what was a big flock of sheep.
25:47When I went over there, all of them ran off,
25:50except what was clearly the alpha.
25:53Imagine being out-alphed by a sheep.
26:01Get out of here. We've got to do some not allowed to air business.
26:05Release the demon sheep. Run, cash boy!
26:18Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show that answers the question
26:21Why don't more comedians make the pivot from comedy to country music?
26:25Lesser Tom, bring us up to speed.
26:27Our contestants are writing and then singing a country song
26:30about the day of a taxi driver they just had a trip with.
26:33Alright, who's slapping the banjo next?
26:35What's his name? Aaron Chen. It's Aaron Chen.
26:42They call me 5.30 Tony
26:45But I don't think that encapsulates me
26:48I'm Tony the Lion, can't you see
26:50And I drive a premium SUV
26:54I get up in the morning before my son
26:57I can't even see the sun
26:59I toilet, I wash my hands, I wash my face
27:02I get it ready for the car rat race
27:06Cause I'm Tony the Lion
27:07I eat my cereal
27:09There's seven types
27:11We prick, we prick, we prick
27:13And four other types
27:16But I can afford it, I don't care
27:18I'm a billionaire
27:20I'm a billionaire
27:21Tony the Lion
27:24I come in and I meet the first AD
27:26I see a little guy cool as can be
27:29I tell him what I do with all my stuff
27:32And how much it costs
27:33Five million dollar house
27:35$78,000 car
27:37$5,000 coffee machine
27:39And $58 on cereal
27:41Every single day
27:44Money is extremely powerful
27:47It's a billionaire's world
27:50And you'd be a fool not to know that
27:52And guess what
27:55Listen to some of the other lyrics
27:57Hi Aaron, I'm Tony
28:03My favourite part was the spoken word part in the middle
28:06Cause you gave us a little break from your singing
28:10So as part of your song you said Tony had $5 million home
28:13He was a billionaire
28:14Yeah
28:14And drove a taxi
28:15Yeah
28:16I'm starting to call bullshit on the seven boxes of cereal that he has in the morning
28:19Well I based his net worth based on the fact that he had seven boxes of cereal
28:27Okay
28:27Maybe he asked him what his favourite cereal was seven times
28:37Alright, turn the transistor one more notch
28:40Who's next?
28:41They can't sing or play an instrument in the slightest
28:43Which so far makes them about as good as everyone else here
28:46It's Rhys Nicholson
28:47What if I just got ChatGPT to just write it?
28:50Write me a funny, I'm gonna say two verse country song
28:54About a man named Matt
28:58Who takes photographs of his friend's truck
29:05It's really quickly written a song
29:08And the first line of it is
29:12An old Matt's a picture taken man
29:17Snapping shots of his friend's truck
29:19It's part of his plan
29:21His camera in hand
29:23He shoots away
29:25Capturing that truck
29:26From every angle come what may
29:28He's fasting
29:30He's clicking
29:31Truck pitches galore
29:33But his family is missing him
29:35Can't take it no more
29:37And waiting in for the day
29:39That Matt will come back
29:41And put down that camera
29:43Get a burger, no lack
29:45Now here's to Matt
29:47That truck loving man
29:49Clicking away with his camera
29:51Lips in his hands
29:54Farth and photos
29:55It's current trend
29:57But maybe it's time
29:58To reconnect
30:00With some family and friends
30:05Yee-haw
30:09Yee-haw
30:18Again, that was surprisingly good
30:20Thank you
30:21It was not bad
30:22I did it all myself
30:24Why does your singing voice sound more normal than your actual voice?
30:29Well, I gotta say this is my real voice now
30:33And what was the task again?
30:35Write and perform a country song about your taxi driver's day
30:38Keyword being
30:39Write
30:40You used ChatGBT to write your song
30:43You didn't write the song
30:44So you're disqualified
30:46Ohhhh
30:47But it was a great song
30:48Thank you
30:49And great singing voice
30:50Please use it instead of your real voice
30:53Oh no
30:58Alright, who's our last performer Tom?
31:00With her song
31:02It's all Danish to me
31:03Here's Mel Buddle
31:07I'm feeling
31:08I'm by myself
31:09Michelle left me
31:10When I was doing engineering in Sydney at UTS
31:12She up and left
31:13My favourite colour's green
31:15My daughter's left
31:16She's in Denmark
31:17Being an air hostess
31:18By myself once again
31:22You're nothing Phil
31:23You're a loser
31:24Your favourite's chips or something
31:26No pumpkin in my patch
31:28And a warmth in her good
31:30But a ring on her finger
31:31No she didn't linger
31:33No reason why
31:34That look in her eyes gone cold, cold
31:37The same as Copenhagen
31:39Minstrel
31:40She's my woman now
31:41Blue Holland
31:43It's been anti-fowl
31:45It's just me and Alfred
31:47Alone on this bed
31:51Yo
31:51Lights out and await me
31:53Yo
31:53It's time to say goodbye to the Danish ho
31:56It's me
31:56I'm rich
31:57I'm on 90k
31:58If I was richer
32:00Maybe I'd be gay
32:01But it's just me
32:01Unfortunately
32:02I'm a straight man
32:03Danish bitches
32:04Oh they're like ham to me
32:06I'll leave a modern croissant
32:08Or a sandwich
32:09Or anything else
32:11With bread
32:12Cause Danes love bread
32:13That's what I picked up
32:14From my ex-wife
32:15Sauna
32:16Fora
32:17And fauna
32:18That's what she wanted to be
32:19All the time
32:20Not near me
32:21But I was on my boat
32:22I put around us
32:23An emotional note
32:25Alfred's my only friend
32:26Anyway
32:27That's it
32:27Peace, I'm out, goodbye
32:32And I was feeling safe
32:34Thinking you're gonna get through
32:35This whole task without rapping
32:37And there it was
32:38Popped up right in the middle
32:39When we least expected it
32:41That's correct officer
32:42I thought the first half of the song
32:43Was fantastic
32:44Thank you so much
32:44The lyrics were very depressing
32:46I just really connected with
32:47This man's story
32:49Yeah
32:49On a really deep level
32:51And then like Aaron
32:52I said how much money do you earn
32:53Cause he's kinda hot
32:54And I was like I can
32:55For the right figure turn
32:58And he's talking about his boat
32:59And I'm like I see myself on the seas
33:01We can
33:01I can get over
33:03How you do it
33:04Um
33:07Yeah
33:08Okay well I like the first half of the song
33:10In fact if that was the whole song
33:11I would have given it six points
33:13That's how much I liked it
33:14Okay
33:14But only half of it was a country song
33:16So I'm giving it three
33:17Okay three from now
33:18Rhys is on nought
33:19Obviously
33:20I'm gonna give Aaron Chen two
33:21Cause I suspect the entire song was made up
33:24All of the songs were made up
33:31Not mine
33:35I'm gonna give Pete four points
33:38Oh thank you very much
33:38But that was only cause of the sheep that attacked Tom
33:42I'll take it
33:43Happy to take it
33:43I'm giving five points to Conchetta
33:46Because the song actually worked
33:48I don't know why I'm so shocked
33:49But it did
33:50It actually kind of worked
33:52Alright we've gotta go help Rhys Nicholson detox from all the straight white energy that country music just smothered upon
33:59them
33:59Yee-haw! See you after the break!
34:12Welcome back to Taskmaster Service our final proper task of the evening Lesser Tom
34:18Very well but before I invite you into this one
34:20Please remove your shoes and your manners
34:34Tom!
34:35Hi Conchetta
34:37Oooooh
34:38Fun?
34:40Why did you sniff?
34:42I just wanna know what a tiny guy had in his shoes
34:44Cute?
34:45Do you like things mini?
34:46I feel like that's a loaded question
34:48It's kinda sinister
34:49Make the least welcoming welcome mat
34:52You must welcome Tom to your welcome mat
34:55In four hours
34:56That's a long time
34:57In 25 minutes
34:5925 minutes
35:00Most unwelcoming welcome mat wins
35:03Your time starts now
35:06Okay
35:08Now do I have a welcome mat to begin with?
35:11If you want
35:12You came through
35:15You can't hear all my secrets
35:16You have to go or I have to go
35:18Okay
35:18You go
35:19What if it just said
35:20I'm gonna eat
35:21Tom Cashman
35:23Oh no
35:24You'd probably turn around
35:26Well don't turn around
35:27That's asking for trouble at that point
35:29Alright let's find a
35:32Review of Tom Cashman
35:34I think I prefer you not to see what I create
35:37Can I make it a bit of a surprise?
35:39Do you want me to leave?
35:39Yeah please
35:40Just turn your chair around
35:41So you're not looking
35:43What's the meanest thing anyone's ever said to you?
35:46I can't really think
35:47You've blocked it out
35:48Well no one's ever said something that mean to me
35:50I don't believe that for a second
35:58Now all of you ordered Tom out of the room while you're trying to get organised
36:01Except for Aaron who just asked him to politely turn his chair around
36:05Yeah I wanted it to be like The Voice
36:13Alright well let's see some unwelcome welcome mats
36:16Who's first?
36:17They both invited me in a long time ago to their hearts
36:20It's Conchetta and Aaron
36:25Tom come in
36:28Hi Tom
36:29Hi Conchetta
36:30Welcome to my little home
36:32Hey man just shoes off please
36:37How stringent is the shoes off policy?
36:40It's really strict
36:42Okay
36:43If you open the door someone is going to punch you
36:46You're evil
36:48Spelt incorrectly
36:49How does that make you feel?
36:51It doesn't make me feel welcome
36:52Why don't you come in?
36:54Oh I can think of one reason
36:56That's just the matter
36:57Come on in
36:58Okay
36:59Do you want me to step on it?
37:01As a human being? No
37:04But as someone in the entertainment industry?
37:08Absolutely yes
37:09Okay
37:10There's also a skateboard underneath so it's your call but if you care about the Australian television viewer
37:19You would
37:23Oh!
37:26Unwelcoming much mate
37:31Don't step on it
37:34Don't step on it
37:35Just come in
37:35I'm allowed in?
37:36Yeah, yeah
37:37Oh great
37:37I slay that
37:39Don't mess with the Zohan
37:50So Aaron, it was a very unwelcome welcome Matt
37:52But it's very hazardous
37:53But Lesser Tom kind of called you bluff and then you welcomed him in
37:57But the Matt didn't
38:03Conchetta, I see you decided to use camera trickery to hit Tom in the face
38:08Were you not tempted just to do the full thing?
38:10I was tempted about the safety gear I stepped in
38:13It is weird that the safety officer didn't help you with the sheep
38:17He got in quick for me
38:20Alright, who's next?
38:21Like our base layer doormats, they're both prickly
38:23One in the beard, one just in general
38:25It's Pete and Mel
38:29Stand here
38:34Hi Pete
38:36Oh
38:38It made his turn on
38:40Not sure what you're watching
38:42But it's definitely trying incredibly hard to copy the UK version
38:45Greg and Alex have a natural chemistry
38:48Both Toms are trying incredibly hard to copy that
38:51And are failing
38:52And they're falling so incredibly short
38:54It's forced
38:55So this is why you asked me my middle name earlier?
38:58It was
38:58I had no interest in what your middle name actually was
39:01I was being very specific
39:02About which Tom Cashman
39:04I was telling
39:05To f*** off
39:07The routine about small penis prejudice is cheap
39:10And barely in keeping with the more authentic tone of the rest of the show
39:13So before off camera
39:15When you started the conversation with me about what my middle name was
39:18And then you shared your middle name
39:19That was all
39:20So you could tell me to f***
39:21Exactly right
39:23So I think I've been very clear
39:25Tom bought a really ugly rug when we lived together
39:27It was purple, black, white and grey shag
39:30It was like if a computer was in charge of home decor
39:33From your former flatmate
39:38Thanks Pete
39:39Thanks Pete
39:39Well part of the welcome out don't you understand?
39:50I know you were trying to make lesser Tom feel unwelcome by reading out bad reviews
39:54But the reviews right
39:55We do have bad chemistry
39:58Like I'd hate to have good chemistry with him
40:01That'd be embarrassing
40:02Would you want to have good chemistry with this guy?
40:04Come on banter
40:06See it's shit
40:08Get shit out
40:10So the review was right
40:14Now Mel the problem is
40:15I think you were making him feel unwelcome
40:18The welcome mat was actually saying stand here
40:21Yeah but the welcome
40:22That's quite welcoming
40:22The welcome mat had
40:23God it's like you don't watch the clips honestly
40:27But I'm just saying the mat itself
40:29It did say it said stand here
40:31I would say the mat was quite welcoming
40:32Despite your heinous commentary
40:35Now Pete
40:35Yes Tom?
40:36You pretty much just spray painted five words on a mat
40:38And then you sat in a chair and read a book
40:40It was the best afternoon I had actually
40:42Well once again you put in the bare minimum of effort
40:45Yes
40:45To get maximum results
40:46I mean they're long days
40:48They really are
40:49Alright time for an ad break
40:50In which I'm going to do my best
40:52To build up the self esteem
40:53Of my younger comrade here
40:55Just so I can have another crack
40:56At bringing it down again later
40:58I'm proud of you mate
40:59I'm so proud of you
41:11Welcome back
41:12We're in the middle of a task
41:13That so far has seen
41:14Four comedians put aside
41:15Their deep rooted
41:17Inescapable
41:17Loathing for themselves
41:18And unload it instead
41:20On Tom Cashman
41:22Our contestants are making the most
41:24Unwelcoming welcome mat possible
41:26I'm feeling very unwelcome
41:27But I'm aware it's a comedy show
41:28So I know it's all just part of a joke
41:32Next up it's Reece Nicholson
41:34I think I'm going to burn some toast
41:36So when you come to the house
41:37You have a bit of a feeling like
41:40Maybe I'm having a stroke
41:44What can I say it's an exciting task
41:46Oh my god
41:48Alright if he hands me another task
41:51That now says
41:52Eat the mat
41:55We're
41:56Now you're just scrolling down the street
41:58Okay
41:59You come up to my house
42:03Oh
42:04No Tom
42:05And it's toast
42:05And eggs
42:06Do you smell it in the air?
42:08Yeah
42:08I can't smell anything
42:09You alright?
42:10Maybe you should go to a hospital
42:11Oh
42:12Is that what you smell when you've had it?
42:14Oh
42:16Is that part of the mat?
42:17Sure
42:19What does that say?
42:21I'm going to eat
42:22And that's a promise
42:24Okay
42:26How welcome are you feeling?
42:27Not very welcome
42:31Thanks Reece
42:32You're very welcome
42:34You're not at all
42:35Oh
42:35I was going to say
42:41I mean it looked unwelcoming
42:43But it also just looked like you were slovenly
42:45It was very unwelcoming
42:46There was tinned chicken
42:48Which by the way
42:49Shouldn't be a thing
42:51It stunk in there
42:52And it was all coming from the mat
42:54So you were going for a real odious combination of things
42:57It smelt really bad
42:58For a television show
42:59It looked really bad
43:00It smelt bad
43:01Why is it on TV?
43:02The question we ask ourselves about Tom Cashman every day
43:07I'm just glad you're thinking about me every day
43:14I think I'm the only one that has gotten him to say
43:17I do not feel welcome
43:20And if we're basing it on the clips
43:21That must be pretty far up there
43:23I think mine too
43:24Shut the f*** up
43:25No
43:30Bit of a mess
43:32Let's have a look at all of them
43:33Let's get them up
43:35This is pretty easy to score I think
43:37Mel on one
43:39Because that's actually quite welcoming
43:40Saying stand here
43:41Two points to Reece
43:43Three points to Peter Hellyer
43:44Four points to Conchetta
43:45But definitely the most unwelcome mat is Aaron Chen
43:50Five points for Aaron
43:52Shall we look at the scoreboard, Lesser Tom?
43:54Yes we can
43:55Just like doormats
43:57Mel and Reece are all down in the dirt
43:58And in a three-way tie
44:00Conchetta, Pete and Aaron are walking all over them with 14 points
44:04What?
44:07It's not over till it's over
44:08Get on to our live task
44:10Get up there you lot
44:15I've been waiting for two seasons for our comedians being burnt at the steak task
44:20Aaron could you please read the task?
44:21Sure
44:25Win more debates than the other team
44:28Each team will get 45 seconds to deliver their arguments on each moot
44:38That's moot
44:40Moot
44:42Each team member may only say one word before rotating
44:47So their teammate can say the next word
44:49Each word must be said into the microphone
44:52Tom will state the first moot
44:55And the affirmative team will begin on his whistle
44:59Conchetta, are you ready?
45:00Yep
45:01Aliens exist
45:03Aliens
45:05100%
45:07Exists
45:07This
45:08Is
45:11Proven
45:11By
45:14Tom
45:15Cashman
45:20Is
45:22To
45:22Is
45:23He's
45:23Dead
45:24Beady
45:26shark
45:29alien
45:31eyes
45:36Negative team, are you ready?
45:38Tom
45:42Cashman
45:44is
45:44not
45:46an alien
45:49he is
45:51an rat bastard
45:54yeah
45:56he
45:57doesn't
45:59even
46:00shower
46:03aliens
46:05don't
46:06mix
46:07with
46:09others
46:10so
46:13they
46:14can't
46:16what
46:22i'm
46:23gonna go with
46:24the affirmative team
46:26are you ready for the second
46:28moot? C as we say
46:30in the old country
46:30we look silly strapped together
46:33are
46:35the
46:37look
46:39at
46:41us
46:41have you
46:43ever
46:44seen
46:45two
46:46crazy
46:48hot
46:49ugly
46:51women
46:53no
46:55we
46:57are
46:59looking
47:00psycho
47:04is the negative team ready?
47:06now
47:08we
47:09are
47:11finally
47:12looking
47:13serious
47:14and
47:16this
47:17is
47:18the
47:20real
47:21us
47:22i
47:24am
47:25me
47:26yes
47:28also
47:30um
47:32sorry
47:34we
47:35belted
47:36aneurysm
47:38point made
47:45well
47:45i think the muppets were doing
47:47really well until all three of them had an aneurysm
47:50i'm awarding it to
47:52ernie and burke
47:55all right you can debate whether or not those were the right judgments but i really don't care see you
48:00after the break
48:12ahoy there we're back on board the taskmaster ship as we sail to our episode conclusion lesser time tell the
48:19people what's happening
48:20you're about to give out some scores for the debating task we just did
48:22ah okay well ernie and burke were clear winners so they get five each
48:26five each
48:26and the muppets were doing pretty well too but then the wheels completely fell off so it's 2-2-2
48:32but what i need to ask you is what does that mean for our episode winner
48:37our winner tonight is conchetta carista 119 points
48:44congratulations conchetta you are now the proud owner of less than 250 dollars worth of art
48:50please head up to the stage to enjoy your terrible new art collection
48:57okay conchetta please continue to enjoy your time at australia's worst art gallery remember as with any art gallery it's
49:05important to put your hands behind your back and look seriously at each painting for a good 20 seconds to
49:11make sure everyone knows you're clever and totally understand what's going on
49:16where are we with the series scores other tom so at the end of episode six it's a close race
49:21but conchetta is looking solid out in front with nearly a century on 97 points
49:25and as the resident mathematician i've crunched the numbers and if these trends were to continue they would all be
49:30in the exact same order at the end of the series but the numbers would be a bit bigger
49:37that's it everyone we ran out of tv for you we've come to the end of another episode but what
49:42did we learn
49:43we learned that if you drop a ziplock bag of liquid from a second story balcony it goes exactly how
49:50you think it will
49:52we learned that whilst most people count sheep in their dreams tom cashman counts them in his nightmares
49:59and we learned that tony's name is tony
50:06but most importantly we learned that conchetta is the winner of episode six
50:11see you next week
50:28what do you got for me loser
50:29i love you
50:31i love you
50:31shut up
50:32that was really nasty
50:34i would like to talk to a lawyer
50:35come on
50:36time travel
50:37dressed like a condom
50:39quick
50:40you stupid bitch
50:42i love you
50:43he's difficult to work with
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