Chappelle's Show changed comedy forever ππ₯ Created by and starring Dave Chappelle, this groundbreaking sketch comedy series delivered unforgettable characters, sharp social satire, and some of the most quoted comedy moments in television history. A true comedy classic that remains influential years later.
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FunTranscript
00:16Let's start the show
00:40What the fuck are you doing?
00:43You gotta get out of my car
00:45I'm serious
00:52That crazy dancing making my penis off
01:06That is what I call dancing
01:09You should have seen a girl that was sitting there before you
01:11Oh snap
01:14Then she go right there
01:21I'm getting ready to crash girl
01:22Hold on
01:26Ladies and gentlemen
01:28Dave Chappelle
01:34Thank you
01:38Thank you
01:40Thank you
01:41Oh man
01:43Welcome to this thing that we call
01:45Chappelle Show
01:46This is the very first episode
01:49I finally got my own show
01:50And I mean I'm serious
01:52When I say this is my show
01:54This is my show
01:56I can show y'all whatever I want
01:58As a matter of fact
01:59I'll show you a little bleeper
02:01Blooper
02:03It's a bleeper of a blooper though
02:04Here
02:05Show that last Mitsubishi clip real quick
02:23You gotta see that again in slow motion
02:25Look at my face when I say your teddy pop guy
02:26Play it again, play it again
02:43You know the worst part about that
02:45I felt guilty like I did that with my mind
02:48Cause the whole time she was dancing
02:50I was like come on Teddy
02:51Come on Teddy
02:54Well this is it
02:55This is the first episode
02:56Y'all ready
02:57This is some sketch comedy
02:58Y'all ready to see some sketches
02:59You know this first piece actually is dedicated
03:05To a copy place that I frequent
03:06And the reason I'm talking about them
03:08Is because their service sucks
03:12Well I have obtained a copy of their training video
03:15Go ahead America
03:16Take a look at my new expose
03:18This is the official 2002 pop copy employee training film
03:23With your host Ralph Henderson
03:26Hello
03:27I'm Ralph Henderson
03:28And if you're watching this video
03:30That means you've just been hired to work here at Popular Copy
03:33Me and my friends are going to show you the basics
03:35Of what it's like to work here
03:36You guys ready?
03:38Yeah
03:39Great
03:41Getting to work
03:43First of all
03:44Never show up on time
03:45And if a supervisor happens to ask you where you were
03:48Your responses sound something like this
03:51Manuel
03:52Why were you late?
03:54Man I got here when I could
03:55Shit you're not my fucking moms
04:02Perfect
04:03Servicing the line
04:05Occasionally you may get snagged by one of these customer people
04:08Just remember your job is to frustrate them and make them feel unwanted
04:12If you can
04:13Wrap up a story that'll make them feel uncomfortable
04:16For instance
04:17You understand what I'm saying right?
04:19I mean you know my reputation
04:20I mean I don't give a fuck
04:21I'll go to Rikers for three or four years just to prove my point
04:24I mean I don't play that shit
04:26Can I help you?
04:28Or
04:29Hell yeah I suck toes
04:32Good afternoon welcome to pop copy
04:34Can I help you?
04:36Or
04:37What's wrong?
04:38My butt is itching like crazy
04:40When I took a shower
04:42Can I help you?
04:45Computer technology
04:46If a customer has a computer disk then look at it and tell them it's the wrong format
04:50If they use Apple tell them we're PC
04:52If they use PC tell them we're Apple
04:55And if they got both then tell them we use Linux
04:57And if they got that tell them the computers are down
05:01They should be anyhow
05:02It's the whole system actually went down
05:05It's going to be shut down for a couple hours
05:08Hours?
05:09The system?
05:09It happens
05:10The whole system?
05:11But this is a big place
05:13How can you assist them?
05:14Sister I gotta go take a shit
05:15I don't believe you
05:16The management
05:19Should a customer get all uppity and ask to speak to a manager
05:22Then tell them guess what
05:23I am the manager
05:25I want to see the manager
05:26Yeah no see I am the manager
05:28You as a manager?
05:29That's right my friend
05:30I'm the only manager here
05:31Unless you want to talk to the pop coffee president
05:33And I don't know him
05:34You might can help me out with that
05:36I don't know
05:36I mean really get in their face about it
05:38I want to see your manager
05:41What's up?
05:41I am your manager
05:42What's up?
05:43You're the manager?
05:44That's right
05:44How are you?
05:45You done?
05:46That's it
05:47Your job is done nigga
05:47Get out
05:48I'll see you later
05:49Black and white
05:50What are you talking about?
05:51You know a lot of people ask why
05:53Why treat the customer this way?
05:56Why?
05:57Cause fuck them
05:58That's why
06:00Bathroom upkeep
06:01Bathroom upkeep is important to us here at Pop Covenant
06:04Be sure to spray chocolate sauce on the wall near the toilet
06:07To give the appearance of errant feces
06:09This will ensure that any customer who uses our restroom
06:12Will never ever return to one of our stores
06:15We ask that you sign a sheet to verify this gets done once an hour
06:1924 times a day
06:21Uh oh Tony
06:22You missed a spot
06:25Whoa
06:25Now that looks poopy
06:27I hope you found this tape informative
06:30Now should you ever doubt yourself and consider treating a customer with respect
06:33Just remember this
06:34You graduated from grade school and you don't have to take shit from anyone
06:39Welcome to the Pop Copy family and congratulations
06:43Whoop his ass?
06:44Whoop his ass?
06:45Whoop his ass?
06:46Whoop his ass?
06:47Whoop his ass?
06:47Whoop his ass?
06:48Whoop his ass?
06:50Whoop his ass?
06:52All right we're gonna take a quick commercial break
06:54And I will be back after these messages
07:01It's not HBO
07:06It's just regular ass TV
07:15All right now look a lot of people might not notice about me watching me on TV or whatever
07:20I'm gonna tell you something I'm a huge fan of the hip-hop music
07:24And I see a lot of things in the media bashing these brothers saying that they're materialistic
07:30And they objectify women and I don't appreciate that
07:32Because it's not like women were objectified when hip-hop came out
07:36We've been objectifying women for centuries
07:39I'm tired of hip-hop taking the rap
07:42So I did my research I did my homework America
07:44I have went into the BET libraries and found footage from early in this century
07:49As early as 1930s some stuff from the 50s of people objectifying women
07:54And I'll show it to you tonight as proof positive that it happened before hip-hop
07:58Take a look at your beloved Nat King Cole
08:04First new year the angels did say
08:10Was for certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay
08:19Thank you all for coming another year
08:21And to you and yours a Merry Christmas
08:25It's an excellent year
08:27And as for you my dear
08:31Happy holidays you trifling bitch
08:34Oh yeah take that girl
08:37Rub it in your breast
08:38And on your vagina
08:41Yes yes I'm horny
08:45That's sexy TV
08:52King Cole Records coming at you
08:54We sip only the best Don P
08:56Because I'm smooth like that
08:57Peace you punk bitches
08:58Come back next year when I put some little eggnog in your face
09:05All right y'all we'll be right back
09:07We're gonna take a quick commercial break
09:08Sit tight for more of this Chappelle show
09:14But you still said not five minutes ago that you were afraid I was gonna end up looking like my
09:18mother
09:18I didn't say that
09:19Yes you did
09:19No that's not what I said
09:21Yes you did
09:21You said the world
09:22Are you sick of your friends and family getting everything you say all mixed up
09:27Well help has arrived
09:29Don't call me a liar
09:30I didn't say that
09:32Oh no
09:32No
09:33Read back five minutes ago
09:38Janice what are you saying Brian?
09:40Brian I am afraid
09:42I just feel like someday you might look like your mom maybe
09:46Should I read more?
09:47Oh no
09:47That's fine thank you
09:50In your face
09:54I'm gonna go masturbate
09:55Home stenographer
09:56I'm gonna write that down
09:58The home stenographer
10:00Now for a small one time fee plus minor upkeep
10:04You can have your very own permanent record keeper right in your house
10:07With the home stenographer you'll turn any room into a courtroom
10:18Read back when that babysitter told the kids to go to bed
10:23Young woman
10:24Young woman
10:24All right you little brats
10:25Go to sleep
10:26My boyfriend's here
10:27We're gonna have us a sex session
10:30Kids we don't want to go to bed
10:32Young woman well you can watch if you want
10:34Just keep it down
10:36To the boyfriend drop your pants big man
10:38Well she's never coming back
10:40Thanks home stenographer
10:43Dude no matter how drunk I was
10:45Why would I say that I would make out with Matt Damon?
10:47I don't know man
10:48You said it though
10:49There's no way
10:50Read it back to him
10:52And now for those in the go
10:54The travel stenographer
10:55Backpacks sold separately
10:57I guess if it came down to it
10:59I would bang Ben Affleck
11:01Oh my god I knew it was one of those dudes
11:04You were so gay now
11:07Stupid dwarf
11:12Totally gay
11:13100%
11:14Home stenographer and travel stenographer
11:18Available in stores now
11:20Available at our robots
11:23We love Chappelle
11:27Chappelle
11:28Good lord we're back
11:29Welcome to Chappelle's show
11:30I still haven't been cancelled yet
11:33But I'm working on it
11:34And I think this next piece might be the one to do it
11:38This is probably the wildest thing I've ever done in my career
11:41And I showed it to a black friend of mine
11:43He looked at me like I had set black people back
11:47With a comedy sketch
11:49Sorry
11:52Just wrong
11:53Warning
11:54For viewers sensitive to issues of race
11:57Be advised that the following piece contains gratuitous use of the n-word
12:03And by n-word
12:05And by n-word I mean nigger
12:06There, I said it
12:15For the last 15 years a man named Clayton Bigsby has been the leading voice of the white supremacist movement
12:24in America
12:25Though not sold in any major bookstores
12:27His books Dump Truck
12:29Nigger Stain
12:30I Smell Nigger
12:32And Nigger Book
12:33Have sold over 600,000 copies combined
12:38Despite his popularity
12:40Very few have ever seen him due to his reclusiveness
12:43But in an effort to bring his message to a wider audience
12:47He agreed to give his first public interview ever
12:51To Frontline
12:53But getting to Mr. Bigsby was an odyssey in itself
12:57Riddled with backcountry hollies, shifty go-betweens, and palpable danger
13:02Excuse me, not sure we're in the right place
13:06We're looking for Clayton Bigsby
13:08Look no further, fella, you found me
13:12Uh, Clayton Bigsby, the author?
13:16What, you don't think I can write them books?
13:19Just cause I'm blind don't mean I'm dumb
13:23How could this have happened?
13:26A black white supremacist
13:29Our search for answers led us here to the Wexler home for the blind
13:34Where Mr. Bigsby spent the first 19 years of his life
13:39Bridget Wexler is the home's headmistress
13:42Well, he was the only Negro we'd ever had around here
13:47So we figured we'd make it easier on Clayton
13:50By just telling him and all the other blind kids
13:54That he was white
13:55And he never questioned it
13:59Why would he?
14:01You've written four books now
14:04I've written six books
14:06They've published four
14:07What would you say is the overall message of your books?
14:12Sir, my message is simple
14:14Naggers, Jews, homosexuals, Mexicans, Arabs, and all kinds of different chanks stink, and I hate them
14:23I noticed you referred to African Americans
14:27What exactly is your problem?
14:30How much time you got, buddy?
14:31Where would I start?
14:33Well, first of all, they're lazy, good-for-nothing tricksters
14:37Crack-smoking swindlers
14:39Big-butt-having
14:41Wide-nosed-breathing all the white man's air
14:44They eat up all the chicken
14:46They think they're the best dancers
14:48And they stink
14:50Did I mention that before?
14:53Yes, I believe you did, sir
14:55Matter of fact, my friend Jasper told me one of them coons came by his house to pick his sister
14:59up for a date
15:00He said, look here, nigger
15:02That there's my girl
15:04Anyone have sex with my sister, it's gonna be me
15:09You've never left this property, have you, Mr. Bigsby?
15:13No, sir, not in many years
15:15What if I were to tell you that you are an African American?
15:20Sir!
15:21Listen, I'm gonna make this clear
15:23I'm in no way, shape, or form involved in any negative
15:28You understand?
15:29Yes, sir, but, uh
15:30But-but nothing
15:31Mr. Bigsby?
15:32Now, if you'll excuse me
15:33I have a book signing to go to
15:35Why don't you bring your media cameras over there if you wanna see some real truth?
15:41Prudence!
15:42Prudence have Jasper loved the truck
15:45And Clayton Bigsby, black white supremacist, ventured out into an unsuspecting world
15:52Sir, you're a friend
15:53Why not tell him he's African American?
15:56Listen, man
15:57He's too important to the movement
15:59But tell him he's black, he'll probably kill himself
16:01Just there'll be one less nigger around
16:03His commitment is that deep
16:05I'm overwhelmed by the irony
16:08Hey, donkey boy
16:09Uh-oh
16:11What you lost, boy?
16:12Come on, come on, come on, come on
16:14Come on, boy
16:14We don't like your kind around here
16:16You better get out of here before something bad happens
16:20That's right! That's right!
16:23Kill that nigger!
16:24Big, scary nigger!
16:27Come on, Clayton
16:28We gotta go
16:30Oh, Jasper, there's a nigger around here
16:32That scary monkey was beating my hood
16:39High power!
16:41Nigger!
16:43The confusion did not end there
16:49Hey! Why don't you young about to turn that music down?
16:54Nigger's likely sick!
16:57Wookie boogie, nigger!
16:58Wookie boogie!
17:01Did he just call us niggers?
17:04Awesome!
17:07The anticipation was at a fever pitch as we arrived at Mr. Bigsby's book signing
17:11The man who should be the next president of the United States!
17:17Yes!
17:18All right, Jasper, time to show these people what white power's all about
17:21You better put your hood on, Clayton
17:23All right
17:23Might wanna hide your identity, be safer
17:26You know, in case some radical and sympathetic of the cause wants to shoot you
17:29Yeah, that's good thinking, all right
17:30I don't know
17:31I don't know
17:32Let me get that
17:35He gonna talk up tonight
17:36Without further ado
17:39The man
17:41Who made us proud to be white
17:43None other than
17:46Clayton Bigsby
17:48That's him!
17:58White power!
18:06Everybody have a lot of things discussed
18:09Mainly negros
18:10America's at war with Al Qaeda
18:13But we're still losing the war against Al Sharpton
18:17The Asian community was a target as well
18:21Let's talk about Chinese people
18:23With their kung fu and all that silly chang chang chang talk
18:29I can't understand you
18:31Go back to your country, white power
18:35Mr. Big V was also critical of the entertainment industry
18:40Don't let the liberal media tell you how the thing can feel
18:46If you have hate and your heart let it out
18:49If you don't like women, Grace, that don't mean there's something wrong with you
18:53Means there's something wrong with wealth
18:56Who's homosexual?
18:59Politicians weren't spared either
19:01White power!
19:04Colon pal!
19:08Ponelangus rice!
19:10Ponelangus rice sounds like a Mexican dish
19:12Maybe we should put her on a plate and send her to Mexico
19:15So the Mexicans will eat her
19:16White power!
19:19Just open up your heart and let that hate out
19:22Yeah!
19:25Don't let your face! We want to see your face!
19:28Who said that? You want to see my face?
19:30Clayton, go on, brother
19:32You want to see my face?
19:34Don't be afraid, Jaden
19:38We're talking about that
19:39Don't be afraid!
19:42You're a lot!
19:54There is cookie and punch for us to enjoy
19:56And we can mate
19:58Talk about white brotherhood
20:03Thank you all for coming
20:04White power!
20:06Mr. Bigsby was not harmed that night
20:09But irreparable damage has been done to his reputation
20:13And in many ways the white power movement
20:16We're told that in the last few weeks
20:19He has accepted the fact that he is a black man
20:23And three days ago
20:25He filed for divorce from his wife
20:29When we asked why
20:31After 19 years of marriage
20:34He responded
20:34Because she's a nigger lover
20:38I'm Kent Wallace
20:41Good night
20:44Funding for Frontline provided by the Trent Plott Foundation for Peace and Understanding
20:49Loving black people
20:50One at a time
20:54That's it!
20:55Thanks for coming out!
20:56I'll see you next week!
20:58I'm rich, butch!
21:00Hi, thank you!
21:07White power!
21:09That's right, I hate niggers
21:11But I love skateboards
21:13Bye, niggers!
21:14Bye-bye!
21:18Oh, okay, you know what I'm doing wrong, apparently?
21:21I keep talking to y'all
21:22I'm supposed to talk to the TV audience
21:24That's very hard to ignore
21:26The hundreds of people in front of me
21:28And just pay attention to the theoretical motherfuckers
21:31That may or may not watch the show fall
21:34They might have already turned it off, huh?
21:37White power, my...
21:40That's my power, I have the power to change the stations
21:42That's my power, I have the power to change the stations
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