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00:00Tonight!
00:01I'm a sucker for a hand kiss, wow!
00:04PK gets a stiff talking to.
00:06You were in there with that schlong, throwing it around left, right and centre.
00:11Killeen has a wobble.
00:12We get on really well, but there's just something not there.
00:15And the professor faces some hard truths.
00:19I think that attraction is not there yet.
00:21As our celebs.
00:22What are you looking for?
00:23I'm looking for you.
00:25Yo!
00:26Do I look like someone that's not chosen?
00:28You just want shenanigans.
00:29Dating!
00:30I don't know if I'm over for my arse.
00:40Welcome to Celebs Go Dating, a hospital for high profile heartache.
00:45And while most of Cupid's warriors have already clocked in,
00:48last to arrive is Anna, who for some reason has come dressed as that phone box behind her.
00:56Oh, hello love.
00:57I love that colour on you.
00:59Very bright.
01:00You know what they say, red on the thigh catches the expert's eye.
01:03Who's that?
01:04That's it.
01:06Oh!
01:07You saw that reflex.
01:09Intercepted!
01:11You saw that reflex.
01:27Intercepted!
01:27I think energy and zest is very good today because we've got Trio.
01:30We've got Colleen, we've got Lucinda and we've got PK.
01:35Oh my goodness.
01:35It's quite a busy day.
01:36Busy day.
01:38Okay.
01:38So I'm going to love you and leave you.
01:40Lovely, lovely.
01:41We'll leave you with that thought of Mr. B playing American football.
01:44Busy day ahead!
01:45Yes!
01:46PK.
01:47Mmm.
01:47PK.
01:48I mean, what a naughty boy.
01:50The guy can't date.
01:51And when I told him that his dating sucked, he was not best pleased.
01:55And then Lucinda's coming in.
01:57Oh my gosh, Lucinda!
01:59Double rejection.
02:01Shocking.
02:01Can I just say, that was about as bad as it can go in a mixer.
02:04Yeah.
02:07Well, after a day to recover, this priestess of positivity is putting on a brave face
02:12as she powers back in with all the optimism of a human highlighter set loose on a to-do list.
02:20Hello, celebrity dating agency.
02:22Oh, I've missed you!
02:24Come in.
02:25Gotta hold on!
02:27New sensation!
02:29New sensation!
02:32And it's straight up to check in with the love gurus.
02:37What the frick went on with Lucinda at that Styxa?
02:41Gosh, you know, I think she needs some girl cheerleading today.
02:44We are gonna do that.
02:45We are professional cheerleaders.
02:46So professional, you forgot it was dressing high-vis day.
02:51Hello, come in.
02:51Come on in, beautiful.
02:54Hi, gorgeous ladies.
02:56So ready for you.
02:57At the latest Mixer, a.k.a. Styxa, Lucinda was tasked to pick between lip-locking Viking
03:03Damo and Zen spiritualist Anurag.
03:06This is a lot of pressure.
03:08But after sensing hesitation from Damo...
03:10I don't know what to choose.
03:12I'm gonna be random and just say another date with Anurag.
03:17Wow.
03:19You are an amazing person.
03:20We had an amazing time.
03:23I would respectfully decline.
03:26She then received a double helping of sour pie from the Viking.
03:30I also chose to not go on another date.
03:32Yucko!
03:34Girl powwow.
03:35Girl powwow.
03:35We really, really, really bloody felt for you that that sticks a-hun.
03:41Like...
03:41The double rejection.
03:42I mean, what?
03:43What happened?
03:44Look, I mean, I'm a big girl.
03:45I can handle it.
03:46I know.
03:47But I did have a moment where I wanted to burst into tears, as you could see.
03:51Well, talk us through that.
03:53I could see when he came down that Damo's energy had really shifted.
03:58He wasn't sort of taking my eye easily and there wasn't sort of much warmth or something.
04:05And when Anurag pitched with such passion, I thought, well, I'll choose you.
04:11Because, of course, every woman wants to be claimed.
04:13I really, truly wanted to be swallowed into a hole at this point.
04:17It was so awkward.
04:20And, in a way, I felt actually quite relieved.
04:23Because, truly, they weren't a great alignment for me anyway.
04:27But I absolutely wish them both well.
04:29So, onwards and upwards.
04:31Love this.
04:31I will never give up on love.
04:34And I had an astrology reading last week.
04:38Tell us.
04:39And she's like, you're in the bracket.
04:41You're in the momentum the next six to eight months of meeting somebody special.
04:46And I'm just so grateful for this incredible blessing and experience.
04:51Yeah.
04:51And exactly that.
04:52Hold on to all these experiences.
04:54And even, you know, you know exactly, you know, there are teachings in everything we do.
04:58After the Stixer, I was really expecting Lucinda's confidence to be knocked.
05:02But, actually, she is looking forward and she is ready.
05:05She has such a positive outlook on life.
05:08And I'm really, really impressed.
05:10Yeah.
05:10It is a numbers game.
05:11Yeah, it is.
05:11And who cares if you do get rejected?
05:13No, you know, this is exposure therapy.
05:16Yeah.
05:16It's through and through.
05:17You are afraid of spiders.
05:19Yeah.
05:19Here are the spiders.
05:20Like, you are, you know, afraid of getting rejected on one-on-one.
05:23Here's a group of people for you to reject and to be rejected.
05:27Like, it's exposure therapy.
05:28Well, in that case, I must have had more therapy than a boy band on a reunion tour.
05:35Arriving next downstairs for his first reunion with the agent since his Stixer scolding from Anna, it's PK.
05:42Let's hope he likes a taste of humble pie.
05:44Humble.
05:45PK.
05:46Come in, do.
05:59Hello, hello, hello.
06:00Oh, she called Marine Bleu.
06:02Marine Bleu.
06:03Oui, c'est ça.
06:05C'est bien.
06:05C'est bien.
06:06C'est merveilleux.
06:07C'est merveilleux.
06:09Exactement.
06:10Am I watching this on Canal Plus?
06:13Oh, très bien.
06:15Très bien.
06:16A chanté.
06:16Oh, I didn't know that you spoke it.
06:19Yeah, I dabbled into the French.
06:23Polyglot known.
06:25PK.
06:26Poly what?
06:27My thoughts exactly.
06:28Polyglot known.
06:29PK.
06:30What does that mean?
06:32I'm just thinking what PK could be.
06:34Perfectly kissable.
06:36Privately knowable.
06:38Yes, privately knowable.
06:40Perpetually kind.
06:42Sorry to be boring Bobby, but as much as I'd like it to stand for professional nobber,
06:46it's just the initials of his former name, Percy Kianga Benny.
06:50Possibly kinky?
06:51Yeah, I'm a bit of a madman.
06:54And I feel like the agents are finding that out and they don't like it.
06:58Don't hate the play or hate the game.
07:00I would take it as a gold-plated compliment, PK.
07:05Because they must have seen something magical in you that makes them want to exhibit a bit of tough love.
07:11I'd rather stay here than go up.
07:13I'll be honest with you.
07:15Well, you can't go up yet anyway because Lulu's about to find out who she's dating next.
07:19Uh-huh.
07:20So would you like your favourite sisters to serve you up another hunk-a-tron?
07:25Absolutely.
07:26Please see.
07:27My heart's beating.
07:28Ollie!
07:29He looks divine.
07:31He's a property investor from Sussex.
07:33He's 49.
07:36Sussex, did you say?
07:37Sussex.
07:38Yeah.
07:38That's my favourite part, by the way.
07:39Well, it's a good job he's not from Cockermouth then, as the Doctor might spontaneously combust.
07:44He is 49.
07:46Good age.
07:47He's 6'2".
07:48Great height.
07:48Yeah.
07:49And an Aries.
07:50Fantastic star sign.
07:51Ollie.
07:52Ollie, Ollie, Ollie.
07:53Oik, oik, oik.
07:54Steady on Lucinda.
07:55It's an afternoon date, not an Addy Pally dance final.
07:57Oik, oik, oik, oik.
07:58I mean, we are quietly confident on this.
08:01Yes.
08:01You know, I really live by the motto, always, that the best is yet to come.
08:05Mm-hmm.
08:06Well, have the best day.
08:07I'm going to.
08:08Flirt.
08:09Yes.
08:09Don't forget to flirt.
08:11And I need to get on your flirting tips.
08:14Bye, darling.
08:14Have the best day.
08:15You too.
08:15You have the best day.
08:16Bye, coach.
08:18I think we got her back.
08:19She has worked so much on herself that she can bounce back like that.
08:24Very, very good.
08:25And it's evident that she's all refreshed in a new frame of mind and is ready to take on more
08:31dating.
08:31And that's all we can ask for here at the agency.
08:34So as Lucinda leaves pumped for her date this afternoon with Ollie, PK's bracing himself for a pumping from the
08:43agents as he makes his way up to see the teachers for the first time since his sticks are schooling.
08:48Uh-oh.
08:49You've got headmaster Brunton instead of Tara.
08:52Good luck, mate.
08:53Oh.
08:54PK.
08:55PK.
08:56Is he immature or irresponsible?
08:58If he wants a long-term relationship, if he is, I'm thinking, actually, I want to kind of change it
09:03up a little bit now to less shagging, more actually intentional dating, he is so not even there yet.
09:11Come in.
09:13Hello, hello, hello.
09:14At the sticks up, PK went into full picker mix mode, sampling everything on offer.
09:20I feel like you know what you want.
09:21Yeah, I know I want you.
09:23I know.
09:23Do you know?
09:25You're a vibe, but you're lively.
09:27I feel like you're keeping me on my toes.
09:28You might even cheat on me, though.
09:30Which sent Anna into a full sweet shop shutdown.
09:34You think you're a great dater.
09:36I hate to say it, you're a terrible dater.
09:40Prompting PK to finally pick his prize.
09:44Joan.
09:46How do you feel about coming in today?
09:51Erm...
09:51I'm a bit nervous.
09:52I'm always nervous to come in.
09:55So what about the mixer made you nervous to come in here?
10:00She's right next to you, Paul.
10:02Obviously, I know I was flirting with everyone.
10:04Very, like, sexual conversations.
10:07Like, I was...
10:07I was doing, what I say, that thing, I was doing that thing hard.
10:13The kindest way I was throwing my cock about.
10:15Steady on PK.
10:16Ladies present.
10:17You were in there with that schlong and you were just...
10:20Yeah, flinging.
10:21...throwing it around, left, right and centre.
10:23Ah, OK, I'll take it back.
10:24As you were.
10:25And, yeah, at times it felt uncomfortable.
10:28It felt like you were fishing for the roster.
10:34Like, you said you won a relationship when you came in here,
10:36you were looking to find love.
10:38But that display in the sixer is not the behaviour of somebody
10:44that is going to get long-term love.
10:46That was just someone going around a room chatting to girls.
10:48Ooh.
10:49On a positive note, though, PK, at least Paul's not gone in on you yet.
10:53How do you define respect?
10:54Oh, shit.
10:56Ooh, that's the...
10:57That's the difficult one.
10:58Respect...
11:02I feel like respect is dealing with someone
11:04the way you want to be dealt with.
11:07Respect is when you honour somebody's dignity,
11:10when you honour their boundaries,
11:12when you honour their feelings.
11:15When you are on those dates, what I saw was not honouring their feelings.
11:22The fact that they all said they felt like you were going to choose them,
11:26they were the most special person,
11:28that means that their feelings were not respected.
11:35If everyone feels like they're chosen,
11:38no-one's really chosen.
11:42Well, this is all very awkward.
11:43Quick, Hannah, say schlong again.
11:53Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating,
11:55where PK's just been given a PB pasting
11:58for a lack of respect shown to his date at the Styxa.
12:02If everyone feels like they're chosen, no-one's really chosen.
12:07You know what I mean?
12:10I'm not choosing any of them, per se.
12:12Like, I'm saying some stuff, but it's very light-hearted stuff.
12:15Mm-hmm.
12:16So, I feel like there is that level of respect,
12:19because my tone is very jokey.
12:21Right.
12:21But what you just said is that's a throwaway line.
12:24You're saying it's a joke.
12:24Yeah.
12:25So, what I'm saying is that, like, why should it all be throwaway?
12:29Mm-hmm.
12:29You had a tension across the board, but we're looking for intention.
12:34And that's the small bit that I think if you tweak, you become a better dater.
12:39When I have these conversations, it's good.
12:41But once I leave the room, it goes...
12:45Okay.
12:46It's good.
12:47Unlearning habits and creating new habits takes time.
12:51Every time I come to this agency place, I'm getting roasted.
12:54I'm getting blasted.
12:55And I feel like if my ways are what are causing havoc into my love life,
13:00then I'm willing to change it.
13:01Because Joan's a pretty girl.
13:02She's a lovely girl.
13:04Everything about her is amazing.
13:05What do you remember about Joan?
13:08I just remember that she was just, like, a ray of sunshine.
13:11Like, she was, like, just a big character, big personality.
13:14Mm-hmm.
13:15And just someone that I probably have a lot of fun with.
13:18What can you change about your behavior on this date with Joan,
13:23based on what you've learned so far at the agency?
13:25I think cutting out all, like, the sexual stuff,
13:31I think that's a good start.
13:32You know, actually asking her questions that I want to know about her.
13:36That is great.
13:38We're excited.
13:40Very.
13:41Very.
13:42Very excited.
13:44Bye, darling, have fun.
13:46One thing's for sure.
13:48There's something about him, and I do like him.
13:51Hopefully, we'll get him to a point of confirmed trust,
13:54where he can actually trust fully the process,
13:57open up, and that's where we're going to see change.
14:00Say what you like about Paul, but you've got to admire the man's optimism.
14:09Which is lucky, cos next in is our famously hard-to-please loose lady, Colleen.
14:13Prime for a post-date powwow with the love doctors,
14:17after a second date with spiritual suitor, Mike.
14:22Hello, Celebrity Dating Agency.
14:24Hi.
14:25It's Colleen.
14:26Oh, Colleen, Colleen.
14:28Come in.
14:40Oh, about time, too.
14:44Where the bloody hell have you been?
14:46My goodness, what a sight for sore eyes.
14:51Reunited at long last with my favourite sibling, Songstress.
14:55Dear Colleen has had her nose to the grindstone on an extensive tour,
15:00but now I get to bury mine deep into her particulars.
15:05Do you have dressing room rituals?
15:07Cos every dressing room I've ever had, I've always had a peace lily.
15:10It's sort of very pleasing to the retinas, but it also cleans...
15:14I love you.
15:14..cleans the air, you know, at the same time.
15:15I think I might have you as my dressing room thing
15:19to make me feel good before I go on.
15:20You know, Gertrude Lawrence used to fill her dressing room with trees.
15:24Really? My ride is a pack of four Cronenberg and a cream egg.
15:27Trees? Why?
15:29Well, I think she thought that when she was on Broadway,
15:31she was so far away from the countryside, which she loved,
15:34she'd bring it into her dressing room.
15:35I might start bringing my goats.
15:37Bit harsh, but I'm sure Janet Street-Porter and Denise Welch
15:39have been called worse.
15:47And from farmyard animals to fancy ones next.
15:51As fluttering across town, Queen of Cosmic Confidence Lucinda
15:54is about to meet her next match.
15:56Property developer Ollie at a butterfly sanctuary.
15:59Cos nothing says romance like a contained swarm of flying insects.
16:03Enjoy.
16:04Do you know what? I'm really excited about Ollie,
16:06but I have to say I'm more excited about the butterflies at this point.
16:10No pressure, Ollie.
16:12My usual type is definitely something that's quite spiritual.
16:15Tick.
16:16Quite bubbly.
16:17Double tick.
16:17I am intrigued, excited.
16:20I'm hoping for some fun.
16:21I hope that I fancy the pants off him.
16:24I hope there's a bit of chemistry.
16:27And I hope that there's butterflies in my stomach.
16:30Oh, God.
16:31She's not going to eat them, is she?
16:33Hi.
16:34How are you, Sundar?
16:35Hi, Ollie.
16:35You're a hugger?
16:36I'm a hugger.
16:37I'm a hugger too.
16:38Big hugger.
16:39How are you?
16:40Good to meet you.
16:42And you?
16:43I am so excited about the butterflies.
16:46So am I generally actually really excited.
16:48Just chuck me in nature and I'm good to go.
16:50And butterflies are the sweetest thing.
16:52There's something quite sort of spiritual.
16:54The transformation isn't there?
16:56Yes.
16:57Shall we go in?
16:58Let's.
16:59Yes, Ollie.
17:00Spirituality chats surrounded by nature.
17:02This is all Lucinda's dreams coming true at once.
17:05New knickers, please.
17:06I reckon one's going to land on you.
17:08Yeah.
17:08What will happen if it does?
17:10Just enjoy it.
17:11That means something magical.
17:12Yeah.
17:13If you call catching subtropical dengue fever magical, then sure.
17:16You're a yes to the adventure man.
17:19And then regret saying yes by that late.
17:22But it's too late because I'm in it.
17:23Okay.
17:23Well, sometimes that's part of the adventure.
17:25Well, it's an adventure with an adventure.
17:27Yeah.
17:28A bit like this really.
17:29It's a butterfly house, not Jurassic Park mate.
17:31First impressions of Ollie.
17:33Gorgeous guy, but in the profile it said he was six foot two.
17:37Maybe it's my heels, but I don't think he's six foot two.
17:42Okay, so shorter than expected.
17:44What else you got in your locker, Ollie?
17:45What's that theory again?
17:47The butterfly thing.
17:47What if you're a studier of butterflies?
17:49That would be called a lepid.
17:52Completely forgotten now.
17:53I'd looked it up on the internet.
17:55And I was going to pretend to you that I was a leppy top dermatist, but I can't even say
18:00the name.
18:00So it looks like we can cross six foot two and leppy the thingamajiggy jiggy off his agency buyer.
18:11Meanwhile, back at the agency, Colleen's emerged from Tom's cocoon to make her way up to fill in the top
18:16dogs on her latest date with Silver Fox Mike.
18:19Come on in.
18:22Hello.
18:23Hey there, Colleen.
18:24Queen Colleen is back.
18:26After skipping the smorgasbord of potential suitors at the Styxa, Colleen stuck with seasoned charmer Mike and promptly embarked on
18:33a second date.
18:34You're looking more stunning each time I see you.
18:37Still.
18:37Wow.
18:37And despite a flurry of flanter from a vintage Romeo.
18:41You've got amazing eyes.
18:42How many?
18:42You've never been told that before, have you?
18:44At least six times by you.
18:45Do you kiss on second dates?
18:47She wasn't quite ready to sign off with a snog.
18:49No.
18:53OK, so Mike.
18:55He's fabulous.
18:57We get on really well.
18:59We laughed and we talked about everything and he's really interesting and funny and, you know, he's attractive, but there's
19:06just something not there.
19:08What else is left?
19:09What do you mean?
19:10Like, he said to me, do you kiss on the second date?
19:14OK.
19:15And I went, and I went, oh, God, no, no.
19:19No, I don't.
19:20And then I thought, I would.
19:22I would.
19:23If I fancied you, I would.
19:24I'd kiss on the first date if I fancied you.
19:26OK.
19:26So I just don't think physically.
19:28It's just not happening for me at the moment.
19:30And I went home and, like, said to my family, because they were like, what was he like?
19:33And I put all the negatives there.
19:36Well, he lives four hours away.
19:37He does this and he does that.
19:38And they're more like, well, that doesn't matter, you know.
19:40And I just thought, no, I know it wouldn't matter.
19:42If I felt it, I wouldn't care if he was eight hours away.
19:48I would say, don't put this much pressure on yourself.
19:52Mm-hmm.
19:52I say, you know what, Colin?
19:54Chill out.
19:55Yeah.
19:56Like, for real, chill out.
19:58Just relax.
19:59There still is time for you to date lots of people in here.
20:02Mike, it sounds like you had a great date.
20:05He's so nice.
20:06And we did have it.
20:06There's nothing I can say wrong about him.
20:09Really.
20:09So we're going to look at his feedback.
20:10You want to hear this?
20:12How he describes you?
20:13Very down to earth and easy going.
20:15Wonderful company.
20:17And very attractive.
20:19Oh.
20:20Look at that.
20:2210 out of 10.
20:22Mm-hmm.
20:23He said, I really would love to meet her again.
20:26The sooner, the better.
20:28Oh.
20:28He, 10, 10.
20:29He made me feel fabulous.
20:32Mike's feedback couldn't have been any nicer.
20:35It was so lovely.
20:37And therefore, you know, to me, he does deserve for me to give him another chance.
20:41And maybe I deserve to give myself a chance for someone to treat me as kindly as he seems
20:47to be doing.
20:48You know, on paper, as far as a person goes, Mike, is it really?
20:53On paper, as far as what I would write down of what my type was, he isn't it?
20:57Yeah.
20:59As in physical attributes.
21:01But then you've just got to work out what's just the most important bit.
21:04Maybe invite him over to your farm.
21:09Because you said, you know, dating in the limelight, it's a lot.
21:13A lot of pressure.
21:14Maybe take the pressure off by being where you feel very comfortable and, you know, yourself.
21:19Mm-hmm.
21:20Maybe there's more chemistry when you observe him in your space.
21:23Let's do it.
21:24I think taking Mike to home turf is a great idea.
21:27Colleen has so many phenomenal things to say about him, but she puts so much pressure on
21:31herself that it extinguishes any embers before the fire gets going.
21:36And I have the perfect plan to put her at ease.
21:40You definitely should bring along people that you know that you feel safe with.
21:45Mm-hmm.
21:46Right.
21:47And I know that you and David.
21:50Oh, yeah.
21:51Seem to be very close.
21:53Yeah, we get on so well.
21:54I mean, I'm close to all of them, but yeah, David.
21:56Yeah.
21:56See if he has to come.
21:57Maybe David could bring his partner.
22:00Oh, yeah.
22:01With Anthony.
22:01I think this is like the perfect third date.
22:05Yeah, I do.
22:06This is your moment to see, does attraction move up?
22:11I hope it does.
22:12Yeah.
22:13I hope it does, too.
22:13If it goes up even a little bit, it is worth exploring.
22:17Mm-hmm.
22:17Great idea.
22:18Yes.
22:19And I'm looking forward to it.
22:20The head, the heart, and the vag alignment.
22:22Ah, the holy trinity.
22:23Oh, you're going to have a great time.
22:25Love you, Colleen.
22:26Bye.
22:26Stay dirty.
22:27Bye-bye.
22:27Stay dirty.
22:29Always.
22:29I'm trying.
22:30I'm trying.
22:32That was lovely.
22:33That was really, really nice to see her, like, laughing, smiling.
22:36I think she still needs to work on the negative self-talk part.
22:40Yes.
22:40But I think she has come a long way from our first day with her.
22:44Oh, my goodness.
22:45Hasn't she?
22:45So, as Colleen heads off to align her head, heart, and vag on the farm, back at the winged
22:51wonderland, despite falling short of his six-foot-two sales pitch, Ollie's managing to hang in
22:56there where it counts with Lucinda. Butterfly banter.
23:00So, what did you make of that?
23:01I enjoyed that.
23:03Very relaxing, you know, butterfly farm. How do you feel?
23:06I'm not going to sit here and pretend I'm an expert at all.
23:08You did earlier.
23:09But they are fascinating as in the animal kingdom.
23:13Yeah.
23:13To go from the whole metamorphosis and the cliché sort of connection to spirituality, shall we say.
23:20Do they sell tequila shots at butterfly sanctuaries? This day could do it one.
23:24What the caterpillar represents of, you know, the challenges on our journey and then the
23:29chrysalis and then this sort of freedom.
23:33No idea what he's talking about and it's boring as fuck, but keep it up, Ollie.
23:36Lucinda looks keen.
23:37I think as humans we have many chrysalis moments, don't we?
23:40We definitely do.
23:41You do have quite a relaxed zen energy.
23:44Thank you very much.
23:45That's good testament to you.
23:47You know what, Ollie's starting to grow on me.
23:49And I do like his depth, our conversation.
23:53And I reckon that the agents have done a pretty good job.
23:57I'm an ocean swimmer.
23:59I'm in it most mornings if I'm in Australia.
24:01We've got a group called the Dodgy Dunkers.
24:04You wouldn't want to see my Dodgy Dunkers in a pair of Speedos.
24:07But it's like 7am.
24:08All year round.
24:09All year round.
24:09This will be right up Nature Boy's strata.
24:12No.
24:12I'm laughing because I have a terrible relationship with water.
24:16Oh, you don't like the ocean?
24:17No, I actually have a long-term fear of being in water.
24:23Oh, bollocks.
24:24You've got a phobia.
24:26Yeah.
24:26God, I can even feel it now, yeah.
24:28Wow.
24:29It's just connecting to that.
24:30Some people will say anything to get out of joining the Dodgy Dunkers.
24:49Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where after a series of setbacks, Oli somehow seems to still be winging it
24:54at the Butterfly Farm with Lucinda.
24:56What are you looking for?
24:58Well, I'm looking for you.
25:01No, genuinely, what are you looking for?
25:04Come on, Oli, send some spiritual positivity up to the dating gods.
25:08To answer your...
25:09I mean, you couldn't script it, could you?
25:12Bloody hell, it worked.
25:16And I was about to say the word...
25:19..connection.
25:21Wow.
25:22I've actually got shivers.
25:24I mean, that...
25:25That is a compliment.
25:26That is a sign, is what that is, Oli.
25:28Now, all you need is a bird to shit on your head and she'll be putting your hands.
25:31That is beautiful.
25:34Hello, has Oli's cosmic critter turned the tide for Lucinda?
25:39Um, so, what...
25:41What's the matter, Luce? Has the chakra got your tongue?
25:44Yeah, what are you vibing? What do you...
25:47Would you like to go out and...
25:49I...
25:52Would love to meet up with you again.
25:53Would you?
25:54Yeah.
25:55Yes, Lulu!
25:56The butterflies, I think they've all gone to sleep.
25:59Lazy butterfly bastards.
26:00Let's...
26:00We should probably get out of here.
26:02Let's go.
26:03Let's go.
26:04Let's do it.
26:08Well, that was so fun.
26:10It's been amazing.
26:11I loved it.
26:12Good.
26:14I feel like we've got lots in common.
26:16We have.
26:17There's a lot of serendipitous crossovers.
26:19Theories, actually.
26:22So, wow, I would love to continue the conversation if you're up for that.
26:25Yeah, I think I am up for that.
26:27Mwah.
26:28See ya.
26:29Whoop.
26:34There were little embers and flickers at the end.
26:37There was something that emerged between us that was a little bit sexier than what was happening through the date
26:44as we were getting to know each other.
26:46But I think it's got potential.
26:48The date was surprisingly enjoyable.
26:50So I was pleasantly very surprised.
26:52Yeah, I was definitely attracted to her.
26:53I'm curious.
26:54I do want to get to know anyone more.
26:56And I think I'm going to get my sexy on.
26:59So whilst Lucinda prepares to turn her sexy on.
27:02Cause you got the green light, green light.
27:05Yeah, you got the key right, key right.
27:07Piquet is arriving for his date with Joan with one clear mission.
27:11To turn his off.
27:13As he aims to think less of his schlong and more of his noggin.
27:16Joan is very charismatic.
27:19Very flirtatious.
27:21But the agents told me that I need to get to know Joan.
27:24So I'm trying to get to know everything about her.
27:27Double D, 32 waist, size eight.
27:30Yeah, I think they were thinking more pets, pastimes and pizza toppings.
27:34If things go well, we can share saliva for sure.
27:37Ugh.
27:38Obviously, I can't foresee the future.
27:39I'm not a carrot reader.
27:42Yeah, tricky things to read, carrots.
27:44I'm feeling really good about my date with PK.
27:47But I'm kind of going into it with an open mind, open heart.
27:52I don't know that man that well.
27:53So, yeah, we'll see how it goes.
27:55Keeping your expectations low, Joan.
27:58Sensible.
27:58Hello.
27:59Hello, hello, hello.
28:00How are you?
28:01You all right?
28:02Good to see you.
28:02I am.
28:03Good to see you too.
28:05Oh, not a gentleman.
28:06Gentleman.
28:07You know, I see it.
28:07I see it.
28:08I love it.
28:09Chilvery.
28:09Chilvery is not dead.
28:11He knew you was going to say that.
28:12He's a carrot reader.
28:14I'm trying to become a better dater.
28:17Okay.
28:17Like, apparently my, like, dating techniques are not great.
28:21Okay, run it for me.
28:23I'm more like a flirt.
28:24I like a flirt.
28:26Oh, God.
28:26But not like a, um, over sexual flirt.
28:30He can't get his head around that, can he?
28:32Right, like you actually know how to spit game.
28:34Yeah, nah, I'll make you feel it without doing too much.
28:37Okay.
28:38Joan's vibrant.
28:40And you see me, I'm a vibrant person.
28:42I go for vibrations.
28:44And her frequency is frequenting.
28:46Like, it's going mad.
28:47He better turn the dial to Classic FM before he does something he shouldn't.
28:51Eat, darling.
28:52You're going to need all the energy.
28:53Bloody hell, PK.
28:54Can I please get the lamb shank?
28:55Yeah, thank you.
28:57No salad, no nothing.
28:58So, no vegetables when you're eating?
28:59It comes with veggies.
29:00What veggies?
29:01It said it on there.
29:02I know it did.
29:04I know it did.
29:04You don't be eating veggies?
29:06No, I eat veggies, for sure.
29:08That's, that's...
29:08I don't look like there's not eating veggies.
29:12There's no way.
29:13You see, now you're making me look.
29:13You see, now you're flirting with me.
29:15That's the point.
29:18Or to make me look.
29:19Yeah.
29:20But this is the thing.
29:21For instance, see how that was, like, casual.
29:24It makes you think about me more.
29:25It makes you think, like, wow, I should see her again.
29:27He's either learning a valuable lesson here or thinking about his carrot.
29:31I'll go with the latter.
29:32It ain't no fun in just looking and not touching.
29:35But that's on you.
29:36You've got to make me actually, like, want to hang out and let you.
29:39You know what, now, already?
29:41No.
29:42Not yet?
29:42Not yet.
29:43Yes, Joan.
29:44She's got your number, mate, and she's dialling it in.
29:47I don't know if you're trustworthy.
29:49Do I look like someone that's not trustworthy?
29:50You just want shenanigans.
29:52Rumbled!
29:53Either that or she's up for one more at the Irish Bar later.
30:02Meanwhile, across town, deep think of Stephen's en route
30:05to a make-or-break fourth date with radio host Clara,
30:08after questioning his true feelings about her and the agency.
30:13I had a really difficult conversation at the agency.
30:16A lot came up.
30:18Everything seemed to be on track with Clara.
30:20I like you.
30:21I find you attractive.
30:23But it left Stephen confused.
30:24When she said she fancied me, why would I not like that?
30:28I believe her, but it made me feel uncomfortable
30:30and I want to understand why.
30:32And the agents helped get to the crux of it.
30:34Are you carrying a lot of emotion around your current ex?
30:38Absolutely.
30:39There are times where I'm just like,
30:40could we not just fucking sort it out?
30:43And I just don't want to spend my life surviving.
30:45I've done so much of that.
30:47I want to find a way to thrive.
30:48You will.
30:49It takes time.
30:50Leaving a baffled Stephen with a big decision to make.
30:55It's just so weird, isn't it?
30:56It's like, I like her.
30:58I'm interested in her.
30:59I enjoy talking to her.
31:01But there hasn't been that...
31:04...thing.
31:05And so do we continue?
31:07Or do we leave it where it is?
31:09Don't ask me, mate.
31:10I just do the voiceover.
31:11Whoa, whoa, whoa.
31:12Hey.
31:17Back at the restaurant,
31:19aspiring respectable date of PK
31:21is still hanging in there with no-nonsense Joan.
31:24Enjoy your meal, guys.
31:26Did you say you've been in London?
31:27Yeah, I've been in some people.
31:29And how did you find it?
31:30It was okay.
31:31What's the difference?
31:33American men are just more like...
31:34willing to approach...
31:36Yeah.
31:37...overall, which I like.
31:38So you like men that are direct?
31:40I like a direct.
31:41I like somebody that uses his brain.
31:44Let me talk to you nicely, yeah.
31:46Let me hear your criteria.
31:48Your checklist.
31:49I want to know these things.
31:50You do?
31:51Yeah.
31:52I like someone who's passionate about something.
31:55Like, teach me something.
31:55Anything.
31:57If it's an anime, sure.
31:58If it's geography, love that.
32:00If it's about plants, let's go for it.
32:03No.
32:03You can almost hear his brain buffering to think of a hobby that isn't shagging.
32:08I want you to be passionate about something.
32:11Joan knows what she wants.
32:13She knows what she likes.
32:14She's a smart girl.
32:16But I feel like the agent said, I need to get to know her.
32:20Let me just deep dive into her.
32:23When are you trying to have kids?
32:24Deep dive?
32:24That was a bloody reverse pipe with full rotation.
32:28Sorry.
32:29I just...
32:29You know what it is?
32:30My brain thinks of things and then I just...
32:32I just say it.
32:33Your brain or your bell end?
32:34Okay.
32:35I would love to have kids whenever I am in a committed, long-term relationship with my husband.
32:42Oh, husband.
32:43So you go on.
32:44I'm not trying to be nobody's baby.
32:46This is my thing.
32:47If you feel confident enough to give me a human life, but you don't feel confident enough
32:51to spend your life with me, that doesn't make sense.
32:55I mean, you could have just asked her what her childhood was like, favourite holiday,
32:58stuff like that.
32:59Either way, we might have finally met a woman capable of reining in our resident roaming
33:04Romeo.
33:08Back at the other end of town, after an emotional meeting with the agent still fresh in his mind,
33:13a conflicted Stevens arriving for his moment of truth with Clara.
33:17Hopefully the driver whacked on some mellow magic to chill the prof out a bit.
33:20I'm going to have a really open and honest conversation with Clara as I have the whole way through.
33:25And where that leads to, who knows?
33:27It's so tough because this needn't be that intense.
33:30But my brain loves to intensify things as it is, which is why I've always lent into the intense.
33:35And I've been trying not to, and yet here we are.
33:38Intense.
33:39Or is it?
33:40Well, that clears that up.
33:41Thanks, Steve.
33:48I think on tonight's date, we're just going to see how things go.
33:51So it would be really nice if there was a little bit more getting closer and a little bit of
33:55kind of tactile touching.
33:57However, I'm going to leave that to Steven.
33:59I know that he wants to take things slowly, so I'm kind of allowing him to set the pace,
34:03which might mean that it never happens, but that's on him.
34:07Well, unless you want that pace to be 100 miles an hour running on the spot, you might need to
34:11give him a nudge.
34:12You all right?
34:13Yeah, I'm good. How are you?
34:14Yeah, I'm all right.
34:15A bit cold.
34:16It's all right.
34:17Nice to see you.
34:18Nice to see you too.
34:20Wow.
34:21Thankfully for Steven's blood pressure, they'll be embracing their zen as they attempt to build a terranium,
34:26which, to be honest, I've just had to Google and still don't have a fucking clue what it is.
34:30How do you fare with houseplants?
34:32I have kept some alive for quite a while.
34:34That's pretty good.
34:35So I have like three orchids that have been going for years.
34:37Hello, welcome to the class.
34:38Hi.
34:38How are you doing?
34:39Good, thank you. How are you?
34:39Good evening. Yeah, welcome.
34:41So, yeah, we're here to make a terrarium tonight.
34:43Any ideas what a terrarium is?
34:45Something with the potential to make Steven even more awkward about this date?
34:49A glass jar with some little garden in it.
34:51Yeah, pretty close.
34:52Well, it's a self-sustaining ecosystem.
34:55Don't look so puzzled, Steven. You're the professor of greenery.
34:58So what we're going to do tonight is going to show you all the steps to build your ever-first
35:02terrarium.
35:03At the end of the session, we're going to show you how to look after your terrarium as well.
35:08Sexy terrarium maintenance that'll have them ripping each other's clothes off.
35:11Well, this isn't going to be easy, is it?
35:12I've got to somehow gain clarity over where Clara and I stand.
35:19And at the same time, I'm supposed to be building a fucking garden in a jar.
35:24I don't think I have the capacity for both.
35:28So, get yourself a good old handful.
35:30Mm-hm.
35:31Give it a squeeze.
35:32You'll see you've got some beautiful water coming out of there, rainwater.
35:36You might squirt each other by accident in the eye, so just be warned, OK?
35:41Blimey, I'm taking it all back.
35:42I think I'm getting the terrarium horn.
35:44Erm, this is a lovely moment to get fully connected to nature with the moss.
35:49Thank you, Dad. Enjoy, yeah, cool.
35:50Oh, God, now I'm fucking up the soil underneath.
35:53It's not that I want it to be perfect, but, like, you know, given it is my first one, it
35:57needn't...
35:57It's a good job you don't want it to be black.
35:58But I do kind of want it to be...
36:00I mean, this is all great soil-based banter, but when are they going to start talking about fancying each
36:04other again?
36:04Watch out, I'm about to squirt.
36:07Yes, Clara, good work.
36:09Keep squirting.
36:17No issues with any mixed signals over with PK, as his no-nonsense date Jones been reading straight through his
36:23thinly-veiled advances.
36:25But PK seems determined to discover if she really is immune to his charms, even if it means pissing off
36:30the agents again.
36:32So, if you saw me in a club right now, you used to, like, would you give me the look?
36:36I would look at you, I'll wait for you to come talk to me. If you don't talk to me,
36:38I'm moving on.
36:40I'll be like, ooh, what are you drinking today?
36:41I'm having a little bit of tequila.
36:43Ooh, we have physical contacts, I'm an alert, Paul's pager, quick.
36:46Can you show me your friends?
36:47Yeah.
36:48I'll be like, ooh, that...
36:50Ah.
36:51Are your friends pretty?
36:53Did he just stop to perv on a hypothetical friends?
36:56He's committed to the cause, I'll give him that.
36:58And then I'll just be like, whispering in your ear, getting a little vibe.
37:02Give me a little sweet nothing, let me dance with you.
37:04Christ, she's falling for it. How the hell has he managed this?
37:07I might even catch a wine as well.
37:09You definitely would.
37:10I would.
37:10Yeah, for sure.
37:11You'll feel it though, trust me.
37:13For sure.
37:15PK, don't piss me off.
37:17I'm sorry.
37:18The dating coaches, I'm telling on you immediately.
37:20I wouldn't normally condone snitching, but I'll make an exception for PK.
37:32Why do we keep playing games?
37:36Pretend to be...
37:36Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
37:38We're back at the eco workshop.
37:40Tiny forest builder Stephen has yet to branch out into sharing his thoughts on whether he
37:44and Clara have a future together.
37:47Didn't you have a session with the experts?
37:50I did, yes.
37:51How was it?
37:51Which was intense.
37:53What did you talk about?
37:54I spoke to all the things that are great.
37:57I really enjoy talking to you.
37:59I think you're incredibly observant, aware, patient.
38:06And when I said, am I weird?
38:08Like, when you said to me that you find me attractive, I was like, I don't...
38:14This is why I said, am I weird?
38:15Did it give you the ick?
38:18Erm...
38:18It was all quite emotional.
38:21I came to the agency in search of something meaningful.
38:25And actually, what this process has shown me is that thus far, it ain't gonna be that easy.
38:31I am nowhere near ready.
38:34And it is not fair to Clara to drag this out.
38:37But there's so much confusion in me internally.
38:40Yeah, it's being sober.
38:42It's being a father.
38:43It's being quite recently single.
38:46Mm-hmm.
38:47And I'm like, I don't know my ass.
38:49There we go.
38:50Aw, Professor.
38:57One man who does know his way round an ass and a pair of legs and also boobies is relentless
39:01flirt PK.
39:02But is Joan going to finally cave to his grafting or dub him into the agents?
39:07Like the cheeky little chancery he is.
39:09What's your favourite chocolate?
39:10I like milk chocolate with a little bit of caramel inside.
39:14Okay.
39:15What's yours?
39:16Hazelnut.
39:16Hazelnut?
39:17That's how I got a belly.
39:18I can use my belly quickly.
39:20Listen, nobody's body shaming in here.
39:22Be confident in who you are and what you look like.
39:26I'm a sucker for a hand kiss.
39:28Wow!
39:29Well, you just got two for the price of one.
39:31He's pulling out all the stops here.
39:34I'm a sucker for it.
39:36Christ, what does she have on her hands?
39:38I'm a sucker for romance, to be honest, yeah.
39:42I know what I want, I know who I need, what I need.
39:47What's that?
39:49I need real love.
39:51Aww.
39:52I need real love.
39:54I'll be honest with you, yeah, I want to kiss you.
39:57But if I kiss you, I'm going to have some bad thoughts.
40:00And not to mention some badly swollen testicles after Paul finds out.
40:03I feel like if I kiss you, I don't know where life will tell you.
40:10Oh, please.
40:11Obviously you didn't read the carrot properly.
40:13Now you're just laying on thick.
40:16Yeah, because I haven't played no games anymore.
40:18The games have been laid.
40:20Yeah.
40:20Curious, Georgia, all of that stuff.
40:22Yeah.
40:27Let's leave it.
40:28I'm thinking about it.
40:29We'll think about it.
40:31For our own good, for health and safety.
40:32For your good.
40:34Good lad, PK.
40:35The agents will be proud, ish.
40:38She is an amazing lady.
40:41Everything about her.
40:42Her personality, her drive, her charisma, everything.
40:48If it was up to me, I'd be waking up next to Joan tomorrow.
40:53I had an amazing night, did you?
40:55I had a great night.
40:56My date was really good.
40:57It was a lot of fun.
40:58I think PK is very naughty and cheeky.
41:01I don't want the night to end, you know?
41:03What should we do?
41:04I feel like we should go get another drink.
41:06Let's do it.
41:06Should we?
41:07Yeah.
41:07Come, let's do it then.
41:08Let's do it, let's do it.
41:10Christ.
41:12Don't get on my nerves, PK.
41:13Come on.
41:14He keeps you on your toes, which is fun.
41:16You don't want to be sitting with somebody who's just talking about an investment portfolio
41:19all day, you know?
41:20Don't encourage him, Joan.
41:22Woo!
41:23PK, behave, please.
41:25I want to know who's responsible for bringing Joan to this thixer.
41:28Because that person is a pay rise with immediate effect.
41:32Jesus, the night's still young.
41:34Anything can happen.
41:35Just remember, mate, one wrong move and she's grasping you up to the agents.
41:39I'll find what I'm looking for.
41:43I won't stop the fight.
41:45I'll search every night.
41:46Back to the budding botanist now, where after laying his hesitations about Clara on the table,
41:52Stephen seems to be disappearing even deeper into himself.
41:55I'll find what I'm looking for.
41:57Find what I'm looking for.
41:58Dun-dun-dun.
42:00Dun-dun-dun-dun.
42:04Silence.
42:06Sorry, I was in my head.
42:08Makes a change.
42:10You never.
42:11I know.
42:13What's going on in your head?
42:16I'm wondering what we do.
42:18I'm wondering what you think we do.
42:20You know, I keep going back to the question from the agents, you know, is that thing there?
42:25And I think that attraction is not there yet.
42:33It's not made easier by being pressured by being asked that because it doesn't give time to understand.
42:38But then I also don't want to waste time.
42:44And, you know, it's one thing asking for patience.
42:46I can't ask for, you know.
42:53I want to know where you're at and how you feel.
42:59So I think for me, like, obviously, this is our fourth time, like, spending time together.
43:06And I, like, I genuinely feel like if you're going to fancy someone, which I guess is the bit that
43:12we're talking about is missing, right?
43:14Then I think it should be there.
43:15OK.
43:16And I think that if it's not, then you're essentially friends.
43:23Obviously, I appreciate you being honest with me, but I think for me, it's like, I want someone who actually
43:28wants me.
43:28And you deserve that because you're gorgeous.
43:31So, yeah, I think that's where I'm at.
43:33OK.
43:39Just put the lid on it.
43:41Like this.
43:46Lovely.
43:47I've really enjoyed seeing you.
43:53It's OK, honestly, it's fine.
43:54I'm not going to lie.
43:55Like, I have an ego.
43:56It gets wounded.
43:57But I also understand and I can kind of separate myself from it.
44:00And I'd much rather someone was honest with me.
44:02So, you know, that's the way it goes.
44:06Yeah.
44:08I've definitely taken a lot of positive from the time that we've spent together.
44:11It's been an interesting process, getting to know you and spending time with you.
44:16So that's cool.
44:17But I think I'm going to go.
44:19OK.
44:19OK.
44:20Oh, Stephen.
44:22It's a huge fumble.
44:24She's great.
44:26Be nice.
44:28Take care.
44:32See ya.
44:33Bye.
44:42I feel like if Stephen has not found me attractive since the first date, that maybe there shouldn't have been
44:49a second one.
44:49But this is life.
44:51Like, not everyone's going to fancy me.
44:52That's OK.
44:53I obviously wish him all the best.
44:55And I really do hope that he finds the kind of peace that he's looking for and the happiness that
45:00he's looking for.
45:01Because I think we all deserve it.
45:03What if I'm someone I don't want to rhyme?
45:08She's incredibly emotionally intelligent.
45:11She probably understood where I'm at better than I do.
45:14She's beautiful.
45:16She's funny.
45:17So comfortable in her skin.
45:19It's, yeah.
45:20It's really easy to start going back over it and thinking, oh, maybe I shouldn't have, in fact, even done
45:26that.
45:26And I am, as ever, out of sorts.
45:29Oh, Steve, chin up, mate.
45:32You'll get there.
45:33Now, stop overthinking what to do with your terrarium.
45:36This place shuts in 20, all right?
45:46Tomorrow night!
45:48James gets a grilling from Hottie Dottie.
45:50What are your intentions?
45:52So, I think day three is, like, day three for me is rare.
45:56And there's a dirty double date down on Colleen's farm.
45:59You just have an aversion to pussy, don't you?
46:02T1K.
46:02I'm not really sure about the answer to that question right now.
46:05The future of me and David is so up in the air.
46:08As our celebs.
46:09Are you through chemistry with me?
46:11There's definitely an attraction.
46:12You're attracted to me.
46:13Was that not obvious?
46:15Go!
46:15So, which one's on a date with my mum?
46:17Right, outside.
46:18Dating!
46:19Well, let's kiss you.
46:20I am.
46:21Really?
46:22Yes.
46:22Oh la la, smoochita!
46:24Oh la la, smoochita!
46:24I am.
46:24I am.
46:24I am.
46:24I am.