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00:07Hello and welcome to Taskmaster my name is Tom Gleeson and this is the show that has people's
00:13eyes glued to the screen that's not a metaphor one of the upcoming tasks is glue your eyes to
00:18a screen fastest wins or is it I don't know I'm watching all this crap for the first time just
00:24like you vying for my love and attention tonight we have Anissa Nandela and one more time we have
00:40Perth's very own Rosemont Maness and beside me as always the young man who for some reason is
00:50always a bit sticky it's Tom Cashman all right let's dive into a prize task shall we I think we
01:00shall our first task is a prize task as usual the winner of tonight's episode will take home all
01:05five of these prizes tonight our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be
01:10the thing that definitely isn't the Taskmaster but when it's squinted at most looks like him
01:17okay well this feels pointedly offensive which makes me love it all right Joel I've gone with a
01:27bowling pin oh I'm kind of with you on the head but I'd like to think that the body does
01:38not quite
01:40she's curvy she's curvy so by that is he saying you're a pale redneck okay yes that's exactly yeah
01:50thank you right that's what I meant all right Anissa what did you bring in I looked all across the
01:57web
01:57some for something that I thought looked most like you and I think it is Slenderman
02:07first you were redneck now you're doing blackface
02:16although on the upside you do look pretty skinny I must admit I don't know who Slenderman is who's
02:23Slenderman I don't know much about Slenderman but I think he passed that he's like online folklore
02:27yeah yeah he kills people oh usually children but he looks fabulous doing it here Slenderman I don't kill children
02:37only careers
02:40speaking of Rove what did you bring in
02:48um I brought this picture yes which looks nothing like you except it's one of those 3d image things and
02:58it
02:58legitimately works that it has your face in there when you squint the image comes out
03:03can I say as well I've tried it it actually is it works yeah yeah yeah yeah I'll try it
03:08go on
03:09we got it we're gonna do the squinty eyes yeah blackface and squinty eyes in one episode yeah
03:20now we just need to get you to do an accent and it'll be a home run yeah I could
03:25just unleash some
03:26of my actual opinions all right Celia what did you bring in oh okay I have a two-year-old
03:34so I spend a
03:35lot of time at play centers often before they open going let me in look after my kids so I
03:39can look
03:39at my phone and I was in a play center in a toilet cubicle and when I saw this now
03:50it takes a bit of
03:51squinty but it also needs your one of your classic face you know when you do the eyebrow race thing
03:54which makes one of your eyes so can you do that face like that and what's so nice is in
04:01the reflection
04:01we can see you taking a dump well I did want to clear that up because I don't want you
04:06to think
04:07Tom that I was thinking about you whilst I was on the toilet doing a poo my daughter was
04:19I'm just happy to appeal to a younger audience all right Brett well the thing that most looks like
04:25you is hidden in the audience so if you want to go have a little look what oh yeah he's
04:29gonna love
04:30this do you want to yell out your line I'm a bald dickhead and I host two TV shows it's
04:43your brother
04:44that's funny you know what my brother and I our voices sound identical I must admit when you started
04:53talking I was thinking I don't remember recording that because our voices sound exactly the same say
04:59that line bro which line the bald dickhead part or I host two TV shows no our voices sound exactly
05:07the same our voices sound exactly the same isn't it my favorite part of that was Brett screaming it's
05:17your brother it's funny I didn't know if you could see your eyes could be bad I don't know all
05:25right
05:25well I guess I better make up some points yes I must admit I had I hadn't heard of the
05:29slender man so
05:30I'm gonna I'm gonna give Anissa one okay then I'm gonna give two points to Joel because it kind of
05:35looked like me but I think that the body did not look like me at all also it's very literal
05:41definition
05:41but I did like it if you squint you can see me in the magic eye picture so three points
05:45to Rove okay
05:45also I really like the lateral thinking of Celia it was like looking in a mirror but for five points
05:52I'm
05:52gonna give it to Brett but this is mostly because Nick is my younger brother and he really wants
05:56my approval so I'm giving Brett five points okay that's enough real life for me time to stare blankly at
06:07a
06:07screen I think are you got a little task for me there mr. Cashman I certainly do I present to
06:12you the presence of
06:32presence that was not a joke we're for me mm-hmm you wrapped and one not very well
06:44this is like a word one I don't like word ones is it Scrabble do you like Scrabble does it
06:50look like I
06:51like Scrabble shall we correctly place the remaining letters each box either contains letters or clues
07:01you may not leave the lab but I hate the lab so much fewest boxes opened wins your time starts
07:10now
07:10oh I love it it's a word puzzle am I meant to make a word you're gonna be like this
07:17today are you does someone want another mono brown
07:24okay who's miserable attempt at solving this puzzle shall we see first they haven't torn up letters this
07:29quickly since they received the invites to my 30th it's Anissa Celia and Joel so this is meant to be
07:36a
07:37word it's probably safest to go with a vowel I'm gonna buy a vowel it's a little muffin oh you've
07:45got a cupcake
07:45it's a psalmist birthday so it's something to do with a birthday what's that a cake I just want to
07:51look everywhere there's always like a clue somewhere oh your month day now a smart person get something
08:01from this that doesn't really help me but it will I'm gonna buy another vowel it's like it's my birthday
08:08I love it my favorite type of man what a man without a head one who can't talk
08:16what is that lettuce am I the dumbest person to have been in this show I'm smart as so we're
08:23gonna
08:23work it out all right I'm gonna put another one in four eyes oh yay isn't that great a whole
08:31bunch of
08:32eyes what is that that's my umbilical cord no it's not why is it massive I was a big baby
08:39if we're gonna
08:41go the birthday thing then the R Jesus's birthday when she says his birthday I think you know when
08:49Jesus's birthday is this is your mom's placenta I'm gonna be really upset it was bigger than that
08:57what's this to you Tom Cashman I can play you the song if you want yes please
09:22happy with that
09:25okay whose birthday is it happy birthday to who
09:32all right so it's my birthday that was a letter Roman numerals for dummies
09:42what does that mean ah sick sick sick sick what is this
09:51oh Roman numeral this bitch is it doesn't make sense what doesn't the task my birthday is the eighth
10:02so eighth is v-i-i cake cupcake birthday cake birthday
10:11lettuce it is very rude to make a woman puzzle her age on television
10:16ah that's 83
10:22oh
10:30come on brother there's a gap
10:34yeah but you know what I'm trying to say
10:42what does that say
10:43do you know what I don't need to know
10:45thanks Tom can I keep this
10:47no actually thanks I'm gonna keep that
10:48thank you bye
10:55quite a tricky little task that one
10:57got to say Joel when you asked am I the dumbest person that's ever done this show was that a
11:02rhetorical question
11:04and I wear it with pride I just put the letters in until they made sense I only now know
11:10it was my birthday and yes I was born in 1990
11:16were you yes Tom I've had yeah I might have had a little bit done but yes I'm not that
11:21old
11:21usually when people get things done to their face it makes them look younger
11:28so Anissa how long was it between you saying I'm smart and when's Jesus's birthday
11:38how far apart were those two statements there was a lot going on Roman numerals Jesus's birthday it was a
11:43lot to focus on I knew it was my birthday I knew it was Roman numerals yes
11:47but I just couldn't put those two things together just basic primary school comprehension skills to combine the two things
11:53okay but Celie you were on to it
11:55well when I found the thing under the thing I was just I was so excited and then I went
11:59around shaking the boxes to figure out which ones had tiles in them but I thought it was your birthday
12:03for a very long time
12:04if it was my birthday I would have had a big smile
12:09yuck
12:13and you souvenirs something at the end there Celia Tom's umbilical cord
12:17oh
12:18why were you attracted to that I'm gonna clone him
12:23I'm gonna have an island of Tom's and you can hunt him
12:29well I think we need to get to the scores
12:31Joel took 58 minutes and 50 seconds
12:33and opened X V boxes that's 15
12:37that's 15
12:38Anissa took 1 hour and 12 minutes
12:40oh no
12:41and opened X II boxes that's 13 so 2 ahead of Joel
12:45Celia took just 24 minutes and only opened X boxes
12:55all right time for a break for the length of about CL XXX seconds see you soon
13:12welcome back to taskmaster where we're reliving everyone's favourite part of childhood year 10 Latin
13:18that's right it's puzzle time our contestants are trying to recreate their birthdays in Roman numerals
13:24fewest boxes opened wins
13:26he was pissed off even being in the room
13:28how pissed off can he get during the task
13:30it's Brett Blake
13:31it's like Christmas you're meant to start with the small box but I've never done that in my life
13:41grand piano
13:42it's not a grand piano
13:43what does that say mate
13:45oh
13:46it says grand piano
13:47would you like me to play something
13:48no
13:50cupcake
13:50it's something to do with birthday
13:52M
13:53M
13:54how do I make this game stop
13:59dice
14:04dice
14:06thongs
14:06it's like Roman or some shit
14:08it's a birthday
14:11Roman
14:11it's Roman numerals
14:13I'm getting it but I'm not getting it
14:16Jesus wore sandals
14:17was Jesus in gladiator
14:20what the f*** is that?
14:22it's an umbilical gourd
14:23yes birthday
14:24someone's birthday
14:26I get it but I don't get it
14:32happy birthday Jesus
14:34careful
14:36taskmaster
14:36it'll be fun
14:38will it?
14:39you're not on the show dickhead
14:41lettuce
14:42funny
14:44socks
14:45it's a shit Christmas present
14:47funny
14:48oh I know how to make the game end
14:49if I just open everything
14:51then I f***ing lose
14:53oh it's a notepad
14:54it probably says happy birthday
14:55I get it but I don't get it
14:57happy birthday Brett
14:58that's actually quite sweet
14:59um
15:00that's really nice
15:01thank you John
15:01look at that there
15:03psych
15:05idiot
15:06oh
15:06happy birthday Brett
15:08wait what's my birthday
15:09is it something to do with my birthday
15:10Jesus
15:11am I Jesus?
15:13it's a clue
15:18have you considered thinking about the clues rather than
15:20no I'm not I am thinking this is how I think
15:26it's a wreath for Jesus
15:30I hate this task
15:32least boxes wins
15:34fewest
15:36don't
15:37Roman Numerals for dummies
15:39so like okay I've got to read this
15:41and then like a beautiful mind on a board figure it out or something
15:45guess what I'm not doing it
15:47this is the last box
15:48this is the last box
15:48V
15:49V for victory
15:52I'm done
15:54I'm done
16:03that is the Brett Blake we have come to know and love
16:06I mean so you you said all the answers
16:10yes but I was I didn't understand it was a birthday I was like what's Jesus birthday is a Christmas
16:15or New Year I didn't understand
16:18thank you
16:19I know
16:19it's a who knows
16:20you even said Roman numerals
16:22out loud
16:23I had all the data but just no bridge between the letters and how it all
16:29at one point you had a birthday card for yourself and you and you came up with am I Jesus
16:35I could be I don't know what the challenge or task was
16:38I reckon Jesus would have nailed this
16:41give me another thing to throw at you
16:47over the years I've opened a lot of boxes and I've never thought to drop an elbow on it
16:51you've got university energy I've got tafe we're different
16:55okay so you're saying like getting a knife and just gently opening a box university tafe
17:02yeah that's a great ad though tafe I'd go
17:07university tafe
17:09all right well I think we have to look at the score well
17:11well Brett opened every box
17:14yeah but don't I get a point for being cool
17:16well no because you haven't really watched the show before and unfortunately if you had you'd know
17:21people who give up on a task I punish
17:24oh
17:24so I'm gonna have to deduct a point
17:26okay
17:27because you gave up
17:28okay
17:28I feel like you watch the footage you assume you were there for 23 minutes and 42 seconds
17:34not that long
17:35Anissa gave it an hour
17:37and I still don't know when Jesus birthday is so
17:41who's left then
17:42who better to finish off a task about ancient Rome it's ancient Rome
17:47I'm gonna have a think
17:49my task is to correctly place
17:53the remaining letters
17:55I'm gonna say that these are the two remaining letters
17:58because if I take these away there are no more letters remaining
18:02and then we finally have all the letters back in their box
18:06am I right Tom?
18:08that is not for me to say
18:11but I'm glad we had this time
18:13time
18:14you're done
18:15well what's Brett Blake gonna say now
18:17thanks Tom
18:18thanks Rob
18:22well I guess I need to be the judge
18:24and I have to ask
18:25is this an ingenious execution of the task
18:28is it a hack
18:30yeah it's not
18:30zero points
18:33but I like what you're thinking
18:34it was replace the remaining letters opening the least amount of boxes
18:39so I thought if I put the two remaining M's back in the M box
18:43I have therefore opened zero presents
18:45wrong
18:46what kind of psychopath can walk into a room full of wrapped boxes
18:49and not open a single one
18:51oh my god that's
18:54wait how am I the psychopath?
18:56I don't know
18:57I'm really disturbed
18:58alright so what are the scores overall for the task
19:00well that means we've got Brett with minus one
19:02Rove with zero because he didn't do anything
19:05Joel gets three points
19:06Anissa gets four
19:07but Celia wins the task with five points
19:08and I feel like we need the overall scores for this episode
19:14Rove is in last place with three points
19:16but Celia is out in front with nine points
19:21jeez it doesn't get much better than this
19:23we'll have a break because with great TV comes great ads
19:27see you soon
19:39welcome back to Taskmaster where our comics are competing for the most prestigious prize in television
19:45a commercial toilet roll holder
19:47and Sir Tom fire up another one for us
19:49this next one is about big and small things like for example the Taskmaster's ego
19:54and the sun
20:08Tom
20:09Tom!
20:10hey there Tom
20:11hello Tom
20:12hello
20:12hi Celia
20:13hello Tom
20:14hi Brett
20:14oh
20:15big task
20:16oh it's teeny tiny
20:17so small
20:18how cute
20:18shall we
20:19let's go
20:21choose your favourite little item on the Taskmaster retreat
20:24choose your favourite big item on the Taskmaster retreat
20:29once you have chosen it you must all put your hand on it and say
20:33this is our favourite big item
20:35this is our favourite little item
20:37you have five minutes
20:39your time starts now
20:41what's a tiny thing?
20:43I like the knife
20:44it's a nice big suit of armour
20:46we could have picked Tom
20:47do you want it to be Tom?
20:48yeah I think Tom is
20:49I think so
20:49what a good thing
20:50we've got some time to dress him up
20:52yeah let's do that
20:53I'm happy to go with the suit of armour
20:55I think it's big compared to the short room
20:58Jacket off is a fair call
20:59Jacket off
20:59I think they were baby hair though
21:02but I'm
21:02why am I a baby?
21:04because you're little
21:05because you're little
21:05this is our favourite big item
21:08this is our favourite little item
21:13could you pass me my jacket please Brad?
21:15oh no
21:16this is going to be a trap
21:18oh I hate when they do this
21:21alright we've got another one
21:23what?
21:25create a reality show starring your chosen little item
21:28all team mates must also be in the reality show
21:32most realistic reality show wins
21:34you have 30 minutes
21:36your time starts now
21:38oh my god is it like
21:39is it like the you know
21:40toddlers and tiaras
21:41toddlers and tiaras
21:42maybe that's it
21:43it's supposed to be real real
21:44yeah I've never seen it but I reckon
21:45whatever makes Tom uncomfortable
21:46I'm stoked with that
21:47oh that alone one
21:49where people
21:50I love that show
21:52they starve themselves
21:54in Tasmania
22:00okay
22:00well we've got the teams are back
22:02obviously we've got the breakfast show
22:03which is uh
22:04Rove and Anissa
22:04and we've got the drive show
22:06which is Celia and Brett
22:07with Joel Creasy
22:09I thought it was interesting
22:10that one team had to get
22:12your favourite big thing
22:13and the other team had to get
22:14your favourite small thing
22:15and they were the same size
22:17okay who's got this are we going to watch first Lesser Tom
22:20up first starring a suit of armour
22:22it's Anissa and Rove
22:39I don't even know what day it is
22:41I'm struggling
22:42I'm really struggling
22:44I've been eating sticks
22:46for a month
22:49I know a lot of people back home
22:50bet money for me to win this
22:52because I'm African
22:52and living without resources
22:54should be easy
22:57I'm really struggling
22:58I miss my family
23:00I miss food
23:02I haven't shit in a week
23:05it has to be longer than that
23:06I haven't shit in three weeks
23:10yeah g'day
23:11it's Leroy
23:13I'm tapping out
23:14and I think it's time for me to go home
23:17I can't
23:17I can't
23:22hang on
23:22hang on
23:22just let everyone take that in for a sec
23:25you know it's pretty
23:26okay everyone okay
23:28yeah look it's tough
23:29but um
23:30hanging in there as best I can
23:32and I'm not ready to tap
23:33I just want to stay
23:35I've got more in me
23:36I know I can get
23:37surprise
23:38Mum
23:38Dad
23:39Gavin you've won son
23:41you've won
23:42you're so proud
23:44oh you did it
23:45poor beautiful boy
23:48bloody what
23:49oh you've lost so much weight
23:52oh I'm sweating
23:53it's very sweaty in here
23:54be careful now
23:55oh our hero
23:57oh gracious me
23:59oh I've got to get back to court
24:06I think the breakfast show did a great job
24:08Anissa I thought it was very moving how you were brought to tears because you missed your true love shitting
24:15it was very emotional
24:16yeah it feels fantastic
24:20you do realise in the bush you can shit anywhere
24:23yeah I don't know why I said that
24:26but like I said it was it was very moving I thought and and that's true to the show isn't
24:30it that's how the winner is announced
24:31yes they don't know that they've won and until their loved ones come and tell them it's all over
24:35okay and it's as it's equally as emotional as that
24:41all right let's watch the other guys now
24:42oh no
24:43next up
24:45starring me it's Celia, Brett and Joel
24:47I like the monkey
24:52welcome back
24:53the annual Toddlers and Tiaras Big Dog Energy event is about to begin
24:57the competitors come from all over the world to compete
24:59and this year the returning champion back to protect his crown is Chad with his mother Chessica
25:05I'm Chessica here with the reigning champion my boy Chad
25:08say hi Chad
25:10hi my name's Chad
25:11I love beers I love beer nouns and I love boobies
25:14no you love crayons you love crayons
25:17but the contestant that everyone is talking about is newcomer direct from the Paris Olympics
25:21the in Paris family Tommy and his mother Emily
25:25we are very how you say
25:28overjoyed
25:29overjoyed to be here competing against these
25:34trashy
25:35trashy disgusting piggy
25:36piggy
25:37piggy
25:37oh hey there
25:40hi
25:43oh my god I think they're speaking in tongues
25:46they're you two praise Jesus
25:48Jesus beyond you
25:49anyway we're just going to say good luck
25:51do you want to give him a hug
25:51that's how good we are
25:53disgusting disgusting disgusting
25:56good luck out there
25:57you know when you lose
25:58just don't take it too hard okay
25:59I respect you people
26:00right Chad let's go
26:01piggy piggy
26:04yeah
26:06check out that one mama
26:07she's nice and hot
26:08just like you mama
26:10oh guilty
26:11guilty
26:12I know I'm a baby but I'm allowed his bottle
26:17woo wee that is some real
26:20wow oh my god
26:22that's actually
26:23you're okay baby
26:24oh
26:26I've hurt myself mama
26:28I feel a little bit sick
26:30I will be honest with you
26:32what do you think judges
26:33woo
26:33look at that
26:35I'm so proud you did it
26:37take that back to France
26:39oh
26:39our motto is uh
26:42it's French for
26:43we're going to you up
26:45oui oui
26:46Oh
26:47ooh
26:47ooh
26:49oh
27:00BOMBO
27:01PV Mc me FEEk, baby
27:04magg
27:06hey muscles did it do ki in the pants
27:10that is disqualification I think
27:13Yucky!
27:15Disgusting!
27:16Disgusting!
27:17Good luck out there.
27:18I respect your goodwill.
27:20Crammy!
27:20Steal the king!
27:21Steal the king!
27:22You got it!
27:23Wait, wait, wait!
27:24Baby, make un petit discovery!
27:27What?
27:27Un protest!
27:28What?
27:28Un protest!
27:29Don't come near me!
27:32Bonsoir!
27:33He's 25 years old!
27:34What?
27:35Un especially difficult, bonsoir!
27:37I don't know what you're talking about.
27:38Cheetah!
27:39All right, fine.
27:39We got rumble, baby.
27:40Fine.
27:40He's 25, okay?
27:43Come on, baby!
27:43Champion!
27:45Applause!
27:46Applause!
27:50Applause!
28:00I think The Drive Show nailed it too!
28:02That's what reality TV show looks like to me.
28:05I don't watch it very often, but that's how I feel watching it.
28:08I feel a bit ashamed.
28:10But I think it was great.
28:12There are lots of twists and turns.
28:13I feel like I want to know about how you came up with it.
28:17So do I.
28:17I'm still confused as what I was doing.
28:19I have no idea.
28:20I think we all were.
28:22Guilty.
28:23I did actual storyboarding.
28:25She did.
28:27I feel like we were good to have some fun.
28:29All right.
28:29I guess I have to score The Drive Show versus The Breakfast Show.
28:32Yes.
28:32Most realistic reality show wins.
28:34Pretty hard to separate the two.
28:35I did enjoy both of them.
28:37But I'm going to give The Drive Show slightly behind 4-4-4-5-5 to The Breakfast Show.
28:41There we go.
28:42Yay!
28:46Well done, Jessica.
28:48Well done, Jessica.
28:48Tom Cashman just whispered in my ear that he needs to go and do a shit, so we're going
28:51to have an ad break.
28:53Back soon.
29:08Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five comedians are in the process of reaping what they sowed.
29:14Lizard Tom, I think we're due a new task.
29:16We sure are.
29:17And in the words of Michael Jackson to that baby, let's go to the balcony.
29:32Oh, what a beautiful morning.
29:36Hey, Tom.
29:38It's the afternoon.
29:40Oh, what a beautiful av-o.
29:45Hi, Tom.
29:45Hi, Rove.
29:46It's nice.
29:47Is it a trap?
29:49No.
29:49If it was a trap, would you say that?
29:51No.
29:51Okay.
29:55Do you want to try that one again?
29:56No.
29:59Precariously dangle something off the balcony.
30:02Your dangle must last at least 30 seconds.
30:07If your dangle thing falls, you were disqualified.
30:10Most precarious dangle wins.
30:12Your dangle begins when you firmly state, I'm now dangling.
30:17A bonus point will be awarded for the most valuable thing dangled.
30:22You have 10 minutes.
30:23Your time starts now.
30:25I don't really value anything.
30:26Oh, so it's got to be like something valuable and it's got to look like it's on something shit, but
30:32it's not shit.
30:33Yep.
30:34Boom.
30:34Okay.
30:41Just to be clear, getting the envelope out of the ribbon wasn't supposed to be the hard bit.
30:46And also, Brett, thanks for explaining the task to all of our viewers who go to TAFE.
30:52The working class man's hero, thank you.
30:55Okay, who's perilous dangling are we going to be looking at first?
30:58The first contestants we've wrangled to dangle are Anissa, Rove and Joel.
31:02Oh, I know it's valuable and I know it's precarious.
31:05What's the going price on a GoPro camera?
31:08$322.
31:09That's pretty good.
31:11May I use lollies?
31:13They're very valuable.
31:15How'd it?
31:16What did you know?
31:17You can find out once I'm dangling.
31:18You'll find out why this is very precarious.
31:20Some people would be terrified if I were to lose these.
31:23This is what I reckon we're going to dangle with?
31:26There's nothing precarious about this.
31:28What's this one?
31:29What's that one?
31:31It's a 12 black.
31:33$650.
31:34Oh, come on!
31:35Are you kidding me?
31:36Here we go.
31:38That's very precarious.
31:40That's feeling precarious.
31:42Ah, it's not quite precarious enough.
31:45I've got an idea.
31:46Are you a knot guy?
31:49Um...
31:50Yes.
31:51It's dangling off the battery pack, which is dangling off the apron, which is dangling off
31:57a Viking helmet, which is dangling off this fake tree.
32:02Okay.
32:02Oh, this is super precarious!
32:05The precariety is increasing.
32:08See?
32:09That was a good test.
32:10That's why we have tests.
32:11I'm not changing anything.
32:12There's nothing precarious about this.
32:16There's actually nothing precarious about this.
32:19Good.
32:22Easy does it.
32:23Now I'm dangling.
32:25Is that the line?
32:27Prompt.
32:28Can't help you, unfortunately.
32:31Careful.
32:32Thank you!
32:33I'm now dangling.
32:34I'm now dangling.
32:36I'm now dangling.
32:38I'm now dangling my antidepressants.
32:40Oh.
32:40It's very precarious of a loose eyes.
32:47I don't think anyone's going to find anything more precarious and dangerous to lose than
32:51that.
32:52See?
32:52They're working.
32:58Do you have any Botox or filler?
33:00No.
33:01Have you?
33:02What do you think?
33:08Oh, God.
33:10Oh, God.
33:13Thanks, Tom.
33:15Thanks, Anissa.
33:19So, Anissa, you were jumping a lot between this is precarious, this is not precarious at
33:27all, and often you're talking about the same object.
33:31I got more of the same item to increase the precarity of it.
33:38And that did not fall because the task was finished.
33:41You said it's over now.
33:43The task wording doesn't say that.
33:45So, your dangle must last at least 30 seconds.
33:47Yeah.
33:48If your dangled thing falls, you are disqualified.
33:50It doesn't say only within that 30 seconds.
33:53I'm displeased with this.
33:57So, Joel, what were you thinking?
33:59Because you were kind of skipping between that you were in a precarious position if you lost
34:04your antidepressants.
34:05You'd be in a precarious position if I lost my antidepressants.
34:10I'm on antidepressants.
34:11I'm very open about that.
34:13And can I just say, compliments to the chef.
34:18There's nothing more precarious and dangling and hanging on by a thread than my mental health.
34:23So, I have nailed that task.
34:26Well, I looked it up and because of Australia's fantastic pharmaceutical benefit scheme,
34:31antidepressants are very cheap, $30.
34:32Oh, so I shouldn't be depressed anymore.
34:35Is that what you're saying?
34:36Just because I can afford it.
34:38I shouldn't be depressed anymore.
34:39All the shit that's happened in my life.
34:42It's a task about value.
34:44And if I had all the power in the world, I would make you not depressed anymore.
34:47Yes.
34:49You're not doing a very good job of it right now!
34:53What I'm more concerned about is, it doesn't weigh much and it was just tied very firmly
34:57with a piece of string.
34:58That did not feel precarious.
35:00Have you seen these wrists?
35:02Raegan thinks she got it from a kangaroo.
35:04She got it from the gay community.
35:08So, Rove, what I enjoyed was, you did come up with, I would say,
35:12it was something very precarious.
35:13Oh, the precariarity scale was off the chart.
35:16Yeah.
35:17But what I really enjoyed was, it didn't work and you didn't change your thing
35:21and you still went with it.
35:23Well, that was part of the thrill of it, Tom.
35:26And it was...
35:27But...
35:28But, but, but, but, but...
35:31Ooh!
35:33Rove, Rove, Rove, Rove, Rove.
35:34No, no.
35:35Hey, Rove.
35:36No.
35:37I would say you are in a very precarious position right now.
35:41Rove, you probably don't remember, it's really hard to host a show.
35:52If anyone gets too worked up, I've got some stuff in my dressing room that I've thought you all out.
35:56All right.
35:57Let's see some more dangling Cashman.
35:59He's been dangling hair over the back of his neck for years, so this one should be a lay-up.
36:03It's Brett Blake.
36:09That looks expensive.
36:11What can I dangle it with?
36:12You're a knot guy?
36:14Yeah, but my knots are really good.
36:16Hey, Tom.
36:17Yeah?
36:17How good are you at knots?
36:19Not very good.
36:20That's expensive.
36:21And you tying a knot would be shit.
36:29There's no real good rigging point.
36:31Isn't there a wire on the back?
36:32It doesn't look really secure though, does it?
36:38That's really put a spanner in the work, hasn't it?
36:41That was good.
36:42That was sick, dude.
36:43Grab that end of that rope.
36:45Right, I want you to feed that rope through there.
36:48Great work.
36:49You're doing well.
36:50Now, the rabbit comes out of the hole.
36:52Where's the rabbit?
36:53That's the rabbit.
36:53Oh, this is the rabbit.
36:54That's the hole.
36:54So come out of the hole, and then pull this one.
36:56That looks like a rabbit now.
36:57No, we've got two minutes.
36:59Can you just, buddy, do it?
37:00Yeah.
37:02So I guess we just, you know.
37:07I am now dangling.
37:13Just kidding.
37:15I'm happy with that.
37:18Nah, I better respect Tom.
37:20He's done well, you know.
37:23To earn this job.
37:31Thanks, Brad.
37:33Thanks, Brad.
37:41You know what?
37:41It was a great concept, because you're good at tying knots, and you decided that Tom, he admitted he wasn't
37:47good at tying knots.
37:48But then you proceeded to show him how to tie a really good knot.
37:51Yeah.
37:52The rope was shit.
37:53You actually didn't do a correct version of that knot, and it still held.
37:58So precarious.
37:59If you need the number for a doctor baby boy, like, just let me know.
38:02I'll hook you up after.
38:03Oh, trust me.
38:04I'm very well medicated.
38:06The knot was really good.
38:07It worked really well.
38:08But it all doesn't really matter, because it fell on the ground.
38:11Yay!
38:12With me!
38:14No, so that's another DQ, unfortunately.
38:16Okay.
38:16Well, I guess I have to give out some scores.
38:19Ah.
38:20Oh.
38:22Excuse me?
38:24Was yours that bad?
38:26Let's just have a little...
38:28No.
38:28Let's...
38:29Go on.
38:29Tom.
38:31Thank God you're here.
38:34Finally!
38:35Some respect.
38:36No, he's right.
38:37Hosting's really, really hard.
38:39Do you want me to help?
38:42Can you throw to the ad break, please?
38:43Because I'm sick of doing it.
38:45Time to sell some ads.
38:47We'll be back with more Taskmaster Australia right after this.
39:02Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're watching our comedians
39:06do a Romeo and Juliet and engage in risky behaviour on a balcony.
39:10That's correct.
39:11Our contestants are dangling something off a balcony.
39:14Most precarious dangle wins, and there's an extra point for most valuable thing dangled.
39:18Up last, she's the only contestant who didn't ask for a definition of the word precarious.
39:22It's Celia Pakola.
39:23Let's get dangling, Tom.
39:25Can I cook some spaghetti?
39:26How fast can I cook spaghetti?
39:28How does the spaghetti come into it?
39:29Because it's going to break.
39:31Cook spaghetti is very weak for dangling.
39:33You know what all of the internet is trying to get from everyone?
39:37It's my attention.
39:39I think my attention is probably the most valuable thing that I've got.
39:41Wow.
39:42Some people get very mad when you put the pasture in before the water is boiling.
39:45I know, I know, I know, but I don't have time for it to boil.
39:48How long have I got?
39:48I really think this is going to work.
39:49Five minutes and a second.
39:49Just as a backup, I'm going to loosely dangle this gold pelican.
39:55Okay.
39:55Which I assume is real gold, so that's very valuable.
39:58It's not real gold.
39:58You don't know that.
40:03That's not cooked enough.
40:05How long have I got?
40:06Three minutes and 26 seconds.
40:08I feel like this isn't going to be heavy enough.
40:10Could I write my attention on something heavier?
40:12Tiny pot?
40:13What do we reckon?
40:14I mean, that's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen in my whole life.
40:2320 seconds.
40:2612 seconds.
40:27F.
40:28Seven.
40:28Okay.
40:29Six.
40:29Five.
40:31Four.
40:32Three.
40:33Two.
40:34I am now dangling.
40:45I forgot.
40:46Why didn't you bite it?
40:48I was trying to make it more precarious and I did.
40:52Yep.
40:52Like really too much.
40:54Oh, God.
40:55Anyone want my attention while we're at it?
40:57Go on?
40:58No?
40:58Okay.
41:04So, the spaghetti was very precarious.
41:06I like the look of that.
41:07Why'd you change?
41:08What you're looking at there is a series of excellent ideas.
41:13Perfectly executed.
41:15No notes.
41:16Well, I think the wool was also a great idea.
41:18I know.
41:18And then I...
41:19I can tell you that it was definitely the most precarious.
41:22Oh.
41:23But the problem was, it snapped.
41:25It didn't snap.
41:26I bit it in half with my teeth.
41:28That's what I did.
41:29I was like, this looks too stable.
41:30And I was trying to like...
41:31You know in like Indiana Jones movies where like a rope goes...
41:34Twink, twink, twink, twink.
41:35Celia just bit it like an animal.
41:37Yeah, like an animal.
41:39So, how many points do I get?
41:40Uh, none.
41:42So, really I'm just judging Joel and Rove.
41:45Yeah.
41:46I call that very easy for me.
41:47Rove was far more precarious.
41:48Okay.
41:49So, four points for Joel, five points for Rove.
41:50That's right.
41:53We also need a bonus point.
41:54So, what's more valuable?
41:56Joel's mental health or a GoPro?
42:01The most valuable object for all five of them was easily the antidepressants.
42:05Okay, one point for Joel.
42:07Oh, Casman!
42:12All right.
42:12But how does that affect our episode scores?
42:14Well, we've got Brett in fifth place on eight points.
42:17But Joel is in front with 14 points.
42:19What?
42:21All right, everyone.
42:23Nearly there.
42:24Head on up to the stage so we can all get out of here.
42:26Up you go.
42:31All right, Casman.
42:32Who's reading the task?
42:34Rove will read the task.
42:35All right.
42:38Either grate an entire block of cheese, eat a quarter of it, or hit Tom with half of it.
42:50If you throw it at Tom, you must throw underarm.
42:55Joel, you and me, golden.
42:56Yes.
42:58You may not move from behind your table, and your table may not move.
43:04Fastest wins.
43:05I've got a question.
43:06Are you wearing a cup?
43:10And if so, is it for the task?
43:13I'm not wearing a cup.
43:14That's actually a very astute question.
43:16The reason I'm not wearing a cup is I will be facing that way.
43:19Please begin.
43:34Donate the cameras.
43:36Should've eaten it.
43:39Oh!
43:44You got it, mate.
43:45You got it.
43:46You got it.
43:47You got it.
43:50You got it.
43:51It's really good.
43:52It's sticky.
43:53It's got protein in it.
44:02Is this just not relevant anymore?
44:08You can blow your whistle.
44:14All right.
44:15Well, I must say, due to cost of living, all that cheese that we had to purchase really blew
44:19our budget, so we need some ads to pay for it.
44:21See you soon.
44:33Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're about to find out who's going to be
44:37walking away with the most handsome prize pool in history if you just squint at it.
44:43Unfortunately, we're all out of task, so it's time to tot up the scores and see who's won.
44:47Who won the live task, Lesser Tom?
44:49Well, as you saw, and I didn't, Brett hit me immediately.
44:52Celia hit me not long after that.
44:54Then there was a grating race between Rove and Anissa.
44:56Anissa finished first, but actually I'd like to maybe show you something.
45:00You don't really have to.
45:02You don't need to show anything.
45:05Some regular grating there.
45:06And then...
45:07Oh!
45:09Oh!
45:21Why are you making a black woman work?
45:26So Anissa is disqualified for her cheating.
45:30That means Anissa gets zero, Joel gets two points, Rove gets three, Celia gets four, but
45:33Brett wins the task by picking it at me with five points!
45:37I knew I'd know ya.
45:39Okay, so adding it all up, you little human calculator, who won the episode?
45:43Well, Anissa gets punished for her cheating ways.
45:45She's in last place with ten points.
45:47But the winner of tonight's episode is Celia with 17 points!
45:54Congratulations Celia!
45:55Head to the stage and claim your things that sort of, kind of, maybe a little bit look like me.
45:59Off you go.
46:04Well, there we go.
46:05Please give one more warm cheer to our winner, Celia!
46:09Good night!
46:10Yeah!
46:11Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
46:18Thank you!
46:21Thank you!
46:23It was not a weird show.
46:25Absolutely.
46:25You and me.