- 22 ore fa
- #rowanatkinson
- #blackadder
- #subita
Blackadder (1987) - Stagione 3
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili.
#rowanatkinson #blackadder #subita
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili.
#rowanatkinson #blackadder #subita
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DivertentiTrascrizione
00:00Musica
00:36Oh, God. Bills, bills, bills.
00:40One is born, one runs up bills, one dies.
00:43And what have I got to show for it? Nothing.
00:46A butler's uniform and a slightly effeminate hairdo.
00:50Honestly, Balric, sometimes I feel like a pelican.
00:53Whichever way I turn, I've still got an enormous bill in front of me.
00:58Pass the biscuit barrel.
01:00Let's see what's in the kitty, shall we?
01:05Ninepence.
01:05Oh, God, what are we going to do?
01:08Don't worry, Mr. B. I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.
01:12Yes, Balric, let us not forget that you tried to solve the problem of your mother's low ceiling by cutting
01:17off her head.
01:19But this is a really good one.
01:22You become a dashing highwayman, then you can pay all your bills, and on top of that, everyone will want
01:28to sleep with you.
01:28Balric, I could become a prostitute and pay my bills, and everyone would want to sleep with me, but I
01:34do consider certain professions beneath me.
01:36But besides which, I fail to see why a common thief should be idolised, just because he has a horse
01:40between his legs.
01:41My favourite's the shadow.
01:44What a man.
01:45They say he's halfway to being the new Robin Hood.
01:48Why only halfway?
01:49Well, he steals from the rich, but he hasn't got round to giving it to the poor.
01:54Look, I've got a poster of him.
01:57Balric, I have no desire to get hung for wearing a silly hat.
02:00If I want to get rich quick, all I have to do is go upstairs and ask Prince Fathead for
02:04a rise.
02:07Oh, the bank's open.
02:13Good morning, sir.
02:14May I say how immensely rich you're looking.
02:18Now, was there anything you wanted, sir?
02:19Anything at all?
02:20Absolutely anything?
02:21Well, yes, old fellow.
02:22I was wondering if you could possibly lend me a bit of cash.
02:24But of course, sir, I...
02:25Cash?
02:27Yes.
02:27I'm rotten, stinking, stony, stinking broke.
02:31But, sir, what about the £5,000 that Parliament voted you only last week to drink yourself to death with?
02:37Oh, darn, I'm afraid.
02:38You see, I've discovered this terrifically fun new game.
02:42It's called Cards.
02:43What happens is you sit round a table with your friends and you deal out five cards each.
02:49And then the object of the game is to give away all your money as quickly as possible.
02:53Do you know it?
02:54Vaguely, sir, yes.
02:55All the chaps say I'm terrific at it.
02:57I seem to remember I was very bad at it.
02:59I always seem to end up with more money than I started with.
03:02Yes, well, it's all down to practice.
03:04I'm a natural, apparently.
03:05The only drawback, of course, is that it's pretty damn expensive.
03:08So, basically, I was wondering if you could lend me a couple of hundred.
03:10I'm afraid that's impossible, sir.
03:12I'm as poor as a church mouse that's just had an enormous tax bill
03:16on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse taking all the cheese.
03:20What am I going to do?
03:22Yes, it's a difficult one.
03:24Well, let's see now.
03:25You can't borrow money.
03:26You're not going to inherit any money.
03:28And, obviously, you can't earn money.
03:31Sir?
03:32Sir?
03:34Drastic situations call for drastic measures.
03:36If you can't make money, you'll have to marry it.
03:39Marry?
03:40Never!
03:41I'm a gay bachelor, Blackadder.
03:44I'm a roarer, a rogerer, a gorger, and a puker.
03:48I can't marry.
03:49I'm young.
03:50I'm firm buttocked.
03:52I'm...
03:52Broke.
03:54Well, yes, I suppose so.
03:55And don't forget, sir, that the modern church smiles on roaring and gorging within wedlock.
04:01And, indeed, rogering is keenly encouraged.
04:05And the puking?
04:07I believe it's still very much down to the conscience of the individual church guys.
04:11Oh, yes, telly-ho, then, Blackadder.
04:12Yes, you fix it up.
04:13You know the kind of girls I like.
04:15They've got to be lovers, laughers, dancers, and bonkers.
04:20Well, that goes without saying.
04:24Oh, God.
04:25Something wrong, Mr. B?
04:27I can't find a single person suitable to marry the prince.
04:30Oh, please keep trying.
04:31I love a royal wedding.
04:33The excitement, the crowds, the souvenir mugs.
04:37The worrying about whether the bride's lost weight.
04:42Unlikely with this lot, I'm afraid.
04:43If the prince had stipulated must weigh a quarter of a ton, we'd be laughing.
04:48Of the 262 princesses in Europe, 165 are over 80, they're out.
04:5347 are under 10, they're out, and 39 are mad.
04:57Well, they sound ideal.
04:59Well, they would be if they hadn't all got married last week in Munich to the same horse.
05:04Which leaves us with two.
05:06And what about them?
05:07Well, there's Grand Duchess Sophia of Turin.
05:10We'll never get her to marry him.
05:11Why not?
05:11Because she's met him.
05:17Which leaves Caroline of Brunswick as the only available princess in Europe.
05:22And what's wrong with her?
05:23Get more coffee, eat it, hurry, change it, take me roughy from behind.
05:26No, not like that, like this.
05:28Trousers off, tackle out.
05:29Water dog, water like peasants.
05:31All right, which one do you want me to do first?
05:34No, that's what Caroline's like.
05:37She's famous for having the worst personality in Germany.
05:41And as you can imagine, that's up against some pretty stiff competition.
05:46So, you're stuck then?
05:48Yes, I'm afraid I am.
05:50Unless...
05:51Oh, unless.
05:52Pass me the paper, Balric, quick.
05:56Balric, why has half the front page been cut?
05:59I don't know.
06:01You do know, don't you?
06:02Yes.
06:04You've been cutting out the cuttings about the elusive shadow to put in your highwayman's scrapbook, haven't you?
06:10Oh, I can't help it, Mr. B.
06:12His life is so dark and shadowy and full of fear and trepidation.
06:18So is going to the toilet in the middle of the night, but you don't give a scrapbook on it.
06:22I do?
06:23Let's see.
06:25Now, let's see.
06:26Society pages.
06:27You see, it needn't necessarily be a princess.
06:29All the prince wants is someone pretty and rich.
06:32Oh, dear.
06:33That rules me out, then.
06:34Now, let me see.
06:36Beau Brummel in purple pants.
06:38Probe.
06:40King talks to tree.
06:42Few what a loony.
06:45God, the times has really gone downhill recently.
06:49Listen to this.
06:50Listen to this.
06:52Mysterious northern beauty, Miss Amy Hardwood, comes to London and spends flipping great wadges of cash.
07:00That's our baby.
07:04Honestly, Blackadder, I don't know why I'm bothering to get dressed.
07:06As soon as I get to the naughty Hellfire Club, I'll be de-bagged and radished for non-payment of
07:10debts.
07:12Radished, sir?
07:13Yes, they pull your britches down and push a large radish.
07:16Yes, yes, yes.
07:16All right.
07:20There's no need to hammer it home.
07:23As a matter of fact, they do want...
07:24No, no!
07:26Your, um, your money worries are over, sir.
07:30Well, hurrah for that.
07:31I have found you a bride.
07:33Her name is Amy, daughter of the noted industrialist, Mr Hardwood.
07:37Oh, damn it, Blackadder.
07:38You know I loathe industrialists.
07:40Salve, balding little trolls in their damn-your-eyes whiskets.
07:44All puffed up just because they know where to put the legs on a pair of trousers.
07:48Believe me, sir, these people are the future.
07:50This man probably owns half of Lancashire.
07:53His family's got more mills than... than you've got brain cells.
07:58How many mills?
08:00Seven, sir.
08:02What mills are you?
08:03Yes.
08:03He has patented a machine called the Raveling Nancy.
08:07What does it do?
08:09It ravels cotton, sir.
08:10What for?
08:11That I cannot say, sir.
08:13I'm one of those people who are quite happy to wear cotton, but have no idea how it works.
08:18She's also a beauty, sir.
08:20Well, if she's going to be my bird, she'd better be.
08:23Right, so what's the plan?
08:24Well, I thought I could take her a short note, expressing your honourable intentions.
08:29Yes.
08:29Yes, I think so, too.
08:30All right, then.
08:31We'll take this down.
08:33From His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales to Miss Amy Hardwood.
08:37Tanny-ho, my fine, saucy young trollop.
08:41You look, sir.
08:42Trip along here with all your cash and some naughty night attire,
08:47and you'll be staring at my bedroom ceiling from now till Christmas, you lucky tart.
08:53Yours, with the deepest respect, et cetera, sign George.
08:56P.S.
08:57Woof, woof.
08:59Well, what do you think?
09:01It's very moving, sir.
09:03Would you mind if I change just one tiny aspect of it?
09:07Which one?
09:08The words.
09:10Oh, yes, I'll leave the details to you, Blackadder.
09:12Just make sure she knows I'm all man.
09:14With a bit of animal thrown in.
09:18Certainly, sir.
09:21From His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales to Miss Amy Hardwood.
09:25The upturned tilt of your tiny wee nosy smells as sweet as a great big posy.
09:32Fanciful stuff, of course, madam, but from the heart.
09:35He says my nosy is tiny.
09:37And wee, madam.
09:39Well, he must be an awful clever, Glox, because, you see, my nosy is tiny.
09:44And so wee, that I sometimes think the pixies gave it to me.
09:54He continues.
09:57Oh, Lady Amy, Queen of all your sex.
10:00I apologise for the word, madam, but Prince George is a man of passion.
10:03Oh, don't worry.
10:04I can get pretty cross myself sometimes.
10:09Tell me, Mr. Blackadder, I've heard a teensy rumour
10:12that the prince has the manners of a boy cow's dingle-dangle.
10:16What do you have to say to that?
10:18Oh, that is a lie, madam.
10:20Prince George is shy and just pretends to be bluff and crass
10:24and unbelievably thick and gitties.
10:26Whilst deep down he is a soft little marshmallowy, piglet-y type of creature.
10:32Oh, I'm so glad, because, you see, I'm a delicate, tiny thing myself.
10:38Weak and silly and like a little fluffy rabbit.
10:41So I could never marry a horrible half-a-lump or I might get squished.
10:47When can I meet the lovely prince?
10:50You want to meet him?
10:52Well, if we're going to get married, I think I probably ought to.
10:54I know.
10:56Tell him to come and serenade me tonight.
10:58I'll be on my balcony in my gym jams.
11:03Hey-o.
11:05Who's this big girl's blouse, then?
11:07Brother, this is Mr. Blackadder.
11:10He's come a-wooing from the prince.
11:12You have a beautiful and charming daughter, sir.
11:14Indeed I do.
11:16I love her more than any pig, and that's saying something.
11:19It certainly is.
11:22Let me tell you, I'd no more place her in the hands of an unworthy man
11:26than I'd place my John Thomas in the hands of a lunatic with a pair of scissors.
11:32An attitude that does you credit, sir.
11:35I'd rather take off all my clothes and paint my bottom blue
11:38than give her to a man who didn't love her.
11:40What self-respecting father could do more?
11:43On the other hand, if he's the prince,
11:46he can have her for ten bob and a pickled egg.
11:48I can see where your daughter gets her ready wit, sir.
11:51Thank you.
11:52Although where she gets her good looks and charm
11:54is perhaps more of a mystery.
11:56No one ever made money after good looks and charm.
11:58You obviously haven't met Lady Hamilton, sir.
12:05Not only, Baldrick, I'm not looking forward to this evening
12:08trying to serenade a light, fluffy bunny of a girl
12:12in the company of an arrogant, half-German yob with a mad dad.
12:16He's the prince of Wales.
12:18Have you ever been to Wales, Baldrick?
12:20No, but I've often thought I'd like to.
12:23Oh, don't.
12:23It's a ghastly place.
12:25Huge gangs of tough, sinewy men roam the valleys
12:29terrifying people with their close harmony singing.
12:34You need half a pint of phlegm in your throat
12:36just to pronounce the place name.
12:40Never ask for directions in Wales, Baldrick.
12:42You'll be washing spit out of your hair for a fortnight.
12:45So being prince of it isn't considered a plus?
12:49I fear not, no.
12:51But the crucial thing is that they must never be left alone together before the marriage.
12:55Isn't that a bit unfair on her?
12:57Well, it's not particularly fair on him, either.
12:59The girl is wetter than a Haddock's bathing costume.
13:03But, you know, Baldrick, the world isn't fair.
13:05If it was, things like this wouldn't happen, would they?
13:13Right, so what's the plan?
13:15Shim up the drain and ask if she'll take delivery of her consignment of German sausage?
13:22As we rehearsed, poetry first, sausage later.
13:28So, what if Harold the Horny Hunter should do the trick?
13:32Just remind me of it, sir.
13:33Harold the Horny Hunter had an enormous horn.
13:36Shh, yes, yes, sir.
13:37It is absolutely excellent, sir.
13:39However, might I suggest an alternative?
13:42Lovely little dumpling, how in love I am.
13:45Let me be your shepherdkins.
13:47You can be my lamb.
13:50Well, I think we'll be very lucky if she doesn't just come out onto the balcony and vomit over us.
13:54Let's give it a whirl.
13:55Right, then, you're just right here, sir.
13:58Right.
13:59Call for her romantically.
14:01What?
14:02Oi, come on out here, you roll-up-ing, troll-up-ing sauce-buckle!
14:08Woof, woof!
14:11Is that you?
14:14Yes, yes, tis I, your gorgeous little love bundle.
14:19Oh, George, I think you must be the snuggly, wuggliest lambkin in the whole of Toyland.
14:26Yuck!
14:28What was that?
14:30Uh, nothing.
14:30There was just a little fly in my throaty.
14:33Yuck, yuck!
14:34Do you want a hanky-wanky to got the flammy-wammy-woo-woo, wouldn't you?
14:40Fwoar!
14:40Crikey!
14:41What is that?
14:42Is there someone else down there with you?
14:45No, no, no.
14:45It was just the wind whistling through the trees and making a noise that sounded like,
14:51Fwoar!
14:52Crikey!
14:55Oh, joy!
14:57Then come, Prince Cuddly Kitten, climb up my ivy.
15:01Sausage time!
15:03There is someone down there with you.
15:05Oh, my God, yes, yes, so there is.
15:07A filthy intruder spying on our love.
15:10Oh, hit him, George, hit him!
15:12Very well.
15:13Would you mind screaming, Your Highness?
15:14Take that, and that, and that!
15:19Oh, you're so brave, and I'm so worn out with all the excitement.
15:25I'd better go sleepy, Bobos, otherwise I'll be all cross in the morning.
15:30Nighty-night, Georgie-Porgie.
15:32Nighty-whitey, Amy-wamey.
15:35I think it works, sir.
15:37In the morning, I shall go in and ask her father.
15:40You go out and start spending his money.
15:42I can't stand meanness when it comes to wedding presents.
15:45And well done, sir.
15:46You were brilliant.
15:47Was I?
15:48Yes, sir.
15:49But I'm in agony.
15:50Well, that's love for you.
15:53Sir, I come as emissary of the Prince of Wales with the most splendid news.
15:57He wants your daughter, Amy, for his wife.
16:00Well, his wife can't, have her.
16:04That lady, sir, to come here is such a suggestion.
16:07Night, sir!
16:08Or I shall take off me belt and by thunder, me trousers will fall down.
16:13But, sir, you misunderstand.
16:14He wants to marry your lovely daughter.
16:17Oh!
16:18Oh!
16:19Can it be possibly true?
16:21Surely lovers never cross such boundaries of class.
16:24Well, what about you and Mum?
16:25Well, yes, yes, a grandly when I first met her.
16:28I was the farmer's son and she was just the lass who ate the dung.
16:31But that was an exception.
16:32And Aunty Dot and Uncle Ted.
16:33Yes, yes, all right.
16:34He was a pig poker and she was the Duchess of Argyle.
16:36I found you Ruth and Uncle Isaiah.
16:38She was a milkmaiden.
16:39He was the Pope.
16:40Yes, yes, all right.
16:42Don't argue.
16:43Suffice it to say, if you marry, we need never be poor or hungry again.
16:48Sir, we accept.
16:49Good.
16:49So, obviously, you'll be wanting an enormous ceremony.
16:52What did you say?
16:54Well, obviously, now we're marrying quality, we'll never be poor or hungry again.
16:59Meaning that you're poor and hungry at the moment?
17:02Oh, yes.
17:03We've been living off lark butties for five years now.
17:06I'm so poor, I use my underpants for drying dishes.
17:11Sir, you're skint.
17:12Aye.
17:13Well, in that case, the wedding's off.
17:15Good day.
17:15Oh, but what about George's lovey-wovey poems that won my hearty-wovey?
17:20All writteny-whitney by me-wee, I'm afraid, he-waiting.
17:27Sir, you know I told you to go out and spend a lot of money on wedding presents.
17:31Well, a pa-
17:36Yes?
17:38Nothing.
17:43Crisis, Baldrick, crisis!
17:45No marriage, no money, more bills.
17:48For the first time in my life, I've decided to follow a suggestion of yours.
17:51Saddle Prince George's horse.
17:53Oh, sir, you're not going to become a highwayman, are you?
17:56No, I'm auditioning for the part of Arnold the Bat in Sheridan's new comedy.
18:01Oh, that's all right, then.
18:03Baldrick, have you no idea what irony is?
18:06Yeah.
18:07It's like goldy and bronzy, only it's made of iron.
18:11Never mind, never mind.
18:13Just saddle the prince's horse.
18:15Well, that'll be difficult.
18:16He wrapped around that gas lamp in the Strand last night.
18:19Well, saddle my horse, then.
18:21What do you think you've been eating for the last two months?
18:24Well, go out into the street and hire me a horse.
18:28Hire your horse?
18:29For nine pence?
18:30One Jewish New Year in the rain?
18:32A bare fortnight after the dreaded horse plague of old London town?
18:35with the blacksmith strike in its 15th week
18:38and the Dorset Horse Fetishists' Fair tomorrow?
18:42Right, well, get this on, then.
18:44It looks as though you could do any exercise.
18:49Mr. Pa, ever since Mother died, you've tried to stop me growing up.
18:53I'm not a little girl, I'm a grown woman.
18:56In fact, I might as well tell you now, Mr. Pa,
18:58I'm pregnant, and I'm an opium fiend,
19:00and I'm in love with a poet called Shelley,
19:02who's a famous whoopsie,
19:03and Mother didn't die, I killed her.
19:08Well, never mind.
19:12Stand under the bar.
19:13Oh, no.
19:14Oh, no, no, no, no, no, disaster.
19:17It's the shadow.
19:18We're doomed.
19:19Doomed.
19:20Hi, good evening, Duke.
19:21And the lovely Miss Cheapside.
19:23Your cash bags, please.
19:26There we are.
19:27You'll never get away with this, you scoundrel.
19:29You'll be caught and damn well hung.
19:30I think he looks pretty well hung.
19:32Madam, please,
19:32nothing just about you looking pretty well hung already.
19:35We have no time.
19:36Me too.
19:37Now, sir, turn out your pockets.
19:39Never, sir.
19:40A man's pockets are his own private kingdom.
19:42I'll protect them with my life.
19:44Oh, I see.
19:44You've got something embarrassing in there, have you?
19:46Perhaps a particularly repulsive handkerchief, hmm?
19:49One of these fellows who has a big blow
19:51and then doesn't change it for a week.
19:56Hi, woman.
19:57I also have a jewel.
19:59I fear, however,
20:00that I have placed it here,
20:01beneath my petticoats,
20:03for protection.
20:04Well, in that case, madam,
20:06I think I'll leave it.
20:07but I'm not sure I fancied the idea
20:08of a jewel that's been in someone's pants.
20:11A single kiss of those soft lips
20:13is all I require.
20:14Never, sir.
20:16A man's soft lips
20:17is his own private kingdom.
20:19I shall defend them with my life.
20:21I'm not talking to you, grandad.
20:27Oh, I'm overcome.
20:29Take me with you
20:29to live the life of the wild rogue,
20:31cuddling under haystacks
20:32and making love
20:33in the branches of tall trees.
20:35Madam, sadly, I must decline.
20:37I fear my horse would collapse
20:38with you on top of him, as well, see.
20:40I could cry.
20:46No, quicksilver, you couldn't.
20:48Well, that's not fair, then.
20:50I've had you on my back for ten miles.
20:52I haven't even got a kiss out of it.
20:53Oh, all right.
20:54Very well, then.
20:58All fair now?
20:59Not really, no.
21:01No pleasing, some horses.
21:03Hi-oh, quicksilver!
21:07Papa, you did nothing
21:08to defend my honour.
21:09Oh, shut your face,
21:11you pregnant junkie peghead.
21:14Well, Baldrick,
21:16a good night's work, I think.
21:18It's time to divide the loot,
21:19and I think it's only fair
21:20that we should share it equally.
21:22Which I suppose is highwayman's talk
21:24for you get the cash,
21:25I get the snotty hanky.
21:26No, no, no.
21:27We did this robbery together,
21:29so you get half the cash.
21:30Oh, thank you, Mr. B.
21:32This robbery, on the other hand,
21:33I'm doing alone.
21:34Hand it over,
21:35your money or your life.
21:39All fair and above board.
21:40Fair enough.
21:41As long as I haven't been cheated,
21:43I don't mind.
21:44Hands up.
21:45I am the shadow,
21:46but I never miss.
21:48Oh, no.
21:49You,
21:50the one that looks like a pig.
21:53He's talking to you, Baldrick.
21:56Skedaddle!
21:59So,
22:01who have we here?
22:04Well,
22:06a well-set-up fellow indeed.
22:08Sir,
22:09a kiss.
22:11Sorry,
22:11I'm not sure I heard that correctly.
22:13Oh, dear.
22:14Maybe your ears need unblocking.
22:16Oh, I see a kiss.
22:17Oh, of course,
22:18of course,
22:18of course.
22:18And then perhaps a little light supper,
22:20some dancing.
22:21Who knows where it might be.
22:25Good Lord,
22:26it's you!
22:27Of course.
22:28But your voice,
22:29it's clever,
22:30isn't it?
22:30Does your father know you're out?
22:32He had to go.
22:34You mean he's dead?
22:35Yes.
22:36Dead as that squirrel.
22:38Which squirrel?
22:41Oh, that squirrel.
22:45Of course.
22:46You've killed him
22:47for ruining your chances
22:48of marrying Prince George.
22:49Oh, I despise the Prince.
22:52Don't you know
22:53it's you I want?
22:55I want a real man.
22:57A man who can
22:58sew on a button.
23:00A man who knows
23:00where the towels are kept.
23:03And,
23:03yes,
23:04I crave your
23:06fabulous,
23:07sinewy body.
23:08Well,
23:09you're only human.
23:11Here's the plan,
23:12brown eyes.
23:13You rob the Prince
23:14of everything he's got
23:15right down to the clothes
23:17he's standing in.
23:18I'll get my stash
23:19and meet you here.
23:20And then we'll run away
23:22to the West Indies.
23:23Well,
23:23I don't know.
23:24I'll have to think about it.
23:26I've thought about it.
23:27It's a brilliant plan.
23:29I'll see you here
23:30tomorrow.
23:34Right.
23:35I'm off.
23:35Oh, sir,
23:36but what about the danger?
23:37Look,
23:38the reward's going up
23:39day by day.
23:40Ha!
23:40I laugh in the face
23:41of danger.
23:42I drop ice cubes
23:43down the vest of fear.
23:45Things couldn't be better,
23:47Baldrick.
23:47She'll get me abroad
23:48and make me rich.
23:49Then I'll probably drop her
23:50and get 200 concubines
23:52to share my bed.
23:54Won't they be
23:54rather prickly?
23:59Concubines,
23:59Baldrick,
24:00not porcupines.
24:01I still can't believe
24:03you're leaving me behind.
24:04Oh,
24:05don't you worry.
24:05When we're established
24:06on our plantation
24:07in Barbados,
24:08I'll send for you.
24:09No more sad
24:10little London
24:10for you,
24:11Baldriss.
24:11From now on,
24:12you will stand out
24:13in life
24:14as an individual.
24:15Will I?
24:15Well,
24:16of course you will.
24:16All the other slaves
24:17will be black.
24:20Mr Blackhammer,
24:21oh,
24:22what's all this
24:22I hear about you?
24:23Buying a bathing costume
24:25and 40 gallons
24:26of coconut oil.
24:27Are you going abroad
24:28then, sir?
24:29Yes,
24:29I'm off.
24:30Oh,
24:30sir,
24:31what a tragic end
24:33to all my dreams.
24:35And I'd always hope
24:36that you'd settle down
24:37and marry me
24:38and that together
24:39we might await
24:40this sliver
24:41of tiny adders.
24:43Mrs Anne,
24:45if we were the last
24:46three humans on Earth,
24:47I'd be trying to start
24:48a family with ball records.
24:55Well,
24:56here I am,
24:56all packed
24:57and ready to go.
24:59Darling,
25:00I'm so pleased to see you
25:01and I've got a little
25:02surprise for you.
25:04Close your eyes
25:05and open your mouth.
25:08Hand over the loop,
25:10goat brains.
25:13I always say
25:14the bedrock
25:14of a good relationship
25:15is being able
25:16to laugh together.
25:17Good,
25:17well done.
25:18So,
25:18which way to Barbados?
25:19You're not going
25:20to Barbados.
25:21Get away from the cart,
25:22Mr Slimy,
25:23or I'll fill you
25:24so full of lead
25:25we could sharpen
25:26your head
25:27and call you
25:28a pencil.
25:29This is turning
25:30into a really
25:30rotten evening.
25:32Well,
25:33you'd better make
25:33the most of it
25:34because it's your last.
25:36And it's a pity
25:38because it's usually
25:40against my principles
25:41to shoot
25:42dumb animals.
25:43Except squirrels.
25:45Yes.
25:46Bastards.
25:48I hate them
25:49with their long tails
25:50and their stupid
25:50twitchy noses.
25:55I shall return
25:56at midnight
25:57to collect the loot
25:58when I'll fill you
26:00so full of holes
26:01I could market you
26:02as a new English
26:03cheese.
26:08Oh,
26:09God.
26:10What a way
26:10to die.
26:11Shot by a
26:12transvestite
26:13on an unrealistic
26:14grassy knoll.
26:16Morning,
26:17Mr B.
26:18Oh,
26:18Baldrick?
26:19Baldrick.
26:20Thank you
26:21for introducing me
26:21to a genuinely
26:22new experience.
26:24What experience
26:24is that?
26:25Being pleased
26:26to see you.
26:27Now,
26:28what are you doing
26:28here,
26:29you revolting animal?
26:30I've come
26:30for the shadows
26:31autograph.
26:32You know,
26:32I'm a great fan
26:33of the shadows.
26:34Yes,
26:34just in time,
26:35you,
26:35Baldrick.
26:35Come on.
26:36What?
26:36Has he gone?
26:37Oh,
26:38what a pity.
26:38I wanted him
26:39to autograph
26:40my new poster.
26:41Look,
26:41his reward's
26:42gone up to
26:43£10,000.
26:44Good Lord.
26:46£10,000?
26:47Yep.
26:48That gives me
26:48an idea.
26:49Baldrick,
26:51take this cartload
26:51of loot
26:52back to the palace
26:52and meet me
26:53back here
26:54at midnight
26:54with ten soldiers,
26:56a restless lynch mob
26:57and a small
26:58portable gallows.
27:02Ah,
27:03brekkers.
27:04I could eat
27:05fourteen trays
27:06of it this morning.
27:06Still have room
27:07for a dolphin
27:08on toast.
27:10Any particular reason
27:11for this gluttonous
27:12levity, sir?
27:13Oh,
27:14what do you think,
27:14Blackadder?
27:15I'm in love.
27:16I'm in love,
27:17I'm in love.
27:18Oh,
27:18Amy.
27:19Bless all ten
27:20of your tiny
27:21little pinkies.
27:22Ah,
27:22let's see
27:22what's in the paper.
27:25Oh,
27:26my God,
27:27she's been arrested
27:27and hanged!
27:31Really?
27:33It turns out
27:34she was a highwayman.
27:35Tch,
27:36these modern girls.
27:38Apparently,
27:38someone tipped off
27:39the authorities
27:40and collected
27:41the £10,000 reward.
27:43What a greasy sneak.
27:45Oh,
27:45if only I could get
27:46my hands on him.
27:47Tch,
27:47you can't test
27:48anyone these days, sir.
27:49It says here
27:50that she had
27:52an accomplice.
27:55But they don't know
27:55who it was.
27:58Amy,
27:59Amy,
27:59Amy,
28:00I shall never forget you.
28:01Never,
28:02ever,
28:03never,
28:03ever.
28:05Right,
28:05what's for breakfast?
28:07Petteries.
28:08Great.
28:08Actually,
28:09come to think of it,
28:10Blackadder,
28:10I didn't need
28:10to get married anyway.
28:11I've got pots of money.
28:13Really?
28:13Mm,
28:14the most extraordinary
28:15thing happened.
28:15I was a bit peckish
28:16during the night,
28:17so I nipped downstairs
28:18to the biscuit barrel.
28:19The biscuit barrel?
28:20And do you know
28:21what I found inside?
28:23£10,000
28:24that I never knew
28:24I had.
28:26I've got so much money
28:27now,
28:27I don't know
28:27what to do with it.
28:29How about
28:30a game of cards, sir?
28:33Excellent idea.
28:55I don't know
28:58I don't know
28:59I don't know
29:22Mammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammammamm
29:23Grazie a tutti
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