- 2 giorni fa
- #blackadder
- #rowanatkinson
- #subita
Blackadder (1983) - Stagione 1
Ambientata alla fine del medioevo, il protagonista è il principe Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile ingenuo e inetto, che cerca di sopravvivere tra intrighi e conflitti di potere.
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #subita
Ambientata alla fine del medioevo, il protagonista è il principe Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile ingenuo e inetto, che cerca di sopravvivere tra intrighi e conflitti di potere.
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #subita
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00:00Many are the tales told of the Blackadder and of his faithful henchman, Lord Percy Percy and Baldrick, son of
00:08Robin the Dunggatherer.
00:10But none is told so oft with so much hitting of heads in wonder and repeating of exciting parts as
00:15this, the final chapter in the Book of...
00:56England, 1498.
00:59St. Juniper's Day, the day on which the king would lavish new honours upon his kinfolk.
01:05St. Juniper once said, by his loins shall ye know him, and by the length of his rod shall he
01:12be measured.
01:13The length of my rod is a mystery to all but the queen and a thousand Turkish whores.
01:21But the fruits of my loins are here for all to see.
01:26I have two sons, Harry and another one.
01:33Step forward, Harry, Prince of Wales.
01:46Harry, I hereby name thee Captain of the Guard, Grand Warden of the Northern and Eastern Marchers, Chief Lunatic of
01:55the Duchy of Gloucester,
01:57Viseroy of Wales, Sheriff of Nottingham, Marcus of the Midlands, Lord Poemaker in Ordinary, and Harbinger of the Doomed Rat.
02:11Step forward, the other one.
02:23Now, thy titles have been but few.
02:26Do you, Duke of Edinburgh and Warden of the Royal Privy?
02:30So, my Lord.
02:31Now, we thank thee, Egbert, for thy work in Edinburgh.
02:33Know now that we do relieve thee of thy heavy task and give the dukedom to our loyal cousin Hastings.
02:40Many half returns, Tom.
02:41Thus, am I discharged the lute as a juniper.
02:46Chiswick, fresh horses, we ride at once to rebellious stoke,
02:51when it is my sworn intent to approach the city walls, bear my broad buttocks, and shout,
02:58Behold, I honour thee most highly!
03:16Well, it could have been worse, my Lord.
03:19Yeah, there was a moment there.
03:19I thought you were going to lose the previous.
03:21No!
03:23It will not do!
03:26No, my Lord, you're right, it won't.
03:28I must clear away the chaff from my life and let shine forth the true wheat of greatness.
03:36Do it at once, my Lord.
03:37Very well.
03:38Percy, you are dismissed from my service.
03:41Ha, ha!
03:41Oui?
03:42Why would you?
03:43Because, Percy, far from being a fit consort for a prince of the realm,
03:49you would bore the leggings off a village idiot.
03:53You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would.
03:58Your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly.
04:04And the part of you that can't be mentioned, I'm reliably informed by women around the court,
04:10wouldn't be worth mentioning, even if it could be.
04:12If you put on a floppy hat and a furry codpiece, you might just get by as a fool.
04:19But since you wouldn't know a joke if it got up and gave you a haircut, I doubt it.
04:24That is why you're dismissed.
04:28Oh, I see.
04:29And as for you, Maldrick?
04:30My Lord, you're out too.
04:35Well, I expect you'll go back to shoveling dung in the gutter where I found you.
04:43No, I shouldn't think so.
04:45No, no, it took me years to get that job.
04:48I'll probably be back milking pigs or bucking out the lepers or something.
04:52Really?
04:53Yeah, it'll be years before I get back to shoveling dung again.
05:06Get out of my way!
05:08Is it going on a journey, my Lord?
05:10No, I thought I'd stand here all day and talk to you.
05:13You'd be needing someone to tend your horse then.
05:15No, and even if I did, I wouldn't take you.
05:18I mean, look at you.
05:19What is your profession?
05:31I'm a retired Morris dancer.
05:34That's all I need.
05:36Well, if you can keep up, you can come.
05:57Here he comes now.
06:04So, Sir Wilfred Depp, your tyranny is now at an end.
06:10Prepare to be strung by your cod legs from the bone of that tree.
06:34So, Wilfred Depp.
06:36Edmund!
06:44I'm looking for some men to take over the kingdom.
06:48How many have you got so far?
06:58So, we are agreed.
07:02He who wins, takes the horse.
07:08There is our mark.
07:10You shoot first.
07:16Yeah, that's good.
07:20So good, in fact.
07:22I'm going to have to...
07:27Oh!
07:29Cheat.
07:31Three, taste of pee!
07:40Good evening.
07:42And surrender.
07:44Your money or your life.
07:47Here, take it.
07:49It's all the money I have.
07:52Thank you.
07:54Now, let me pass.
07:58I'm always doing this.
08:01Did I say your money or your life?
08:04You did.
08:05Sorry.
08:07Slip of the tongue.
08:08Your money and your life.
08:18Thanks, Ned.
08:19See you Thursday.
08:23Guy!
08:25Wilfred!
08:25Now, what we need
08:28is a real bastard.
08:32Sean!
08:33The Irish bastard!
08:45Pity the blind, sir.
08:47Pity the blind, kind sir.
09:04Here, business is very quiet this morning.
09:07Aye, everyone's gone to lunch, I think.
09:14Sean!
09:24Friar, I see her greatly for her chastity.
09:29Alas, such is the way of the world.
09:31The sweetest rose too often is plucked too soon.
09:36Yes, I wondered if you would take her while I'm gone.
09:44Yes, the answer is yes.
09:47I shall.
09:55Friar Bellows!
09:59Doing the Lord's work.
10:02I'm just administering extreme action.
10:07So, who shall be our seventh, Wilfred?
10:11Why, need I say?
10:13Jack.
10:17Not mad bully boy, Jack.
10:19A grave-robbing assassin of Aldwych.
10:21No.
10:22Then crazed animal, Jack.
10:25The kettle-rostling cannibal from Sutton Coffee.
10:29No.
10:30Then you're man, St. Jack O'Hooligan.
10:33The man-hatin' goat murderer of Dingle Bay.
10:37Jack.
10:38Surely not Canon Jack Smollett.
10:40Senior arse deacon of the Diocese of St. Botan.
10:43The entry-leading heretic of Barton Wells.
10:45Oh.
10:47I'm talking of unspeakably violent, Jack.
10:52The bull-buggering beast killer of the Diocese of Diocese of Diocese of Diocese of Diocese.
11:02Are you sure he's the kind of chap we're looking for?
11:05Yes.
11:08And here he comes.
11:12Ow!
11:15Ow!
11:17Ow!
11:18Ow!
11:18What do you think you're doing?
11:20Are you with us, Jack?
11:22Hey!
11:22Ow!
11:24Ow!
11:40Ow!
11:41Ow!
11:43Ow!
11:45Ow!
11:46So I kissed her on her left booty.
11:48Ow!
11:49Ow!
11:51Ow!
11:51Ow!
11:52Tell me, Jack, what is your second name?
11:55Large Jack Large.
11:57Then in our band, you shall be known as Large Jack.
12:03Why?
12:05Well, because you are so little.
12:08Why not Little Jack, then?
12:11Well, because Large Jack is more amusing.
12:15Is it?
12:17Very well, then.
12:18Little Jack.
12:21You must have mocked my size.
12:23No, no, no, no, no.
12:25No, of course not.
12:26I'm in, Keeper.
12:27Some more beer.
12:28Hooray!
12:29Six Large Beers.
12:30and...
12:32and another Large Beers.
12:35Let us then go on to the plan.
12:39A motto for our enterprise.
12:43Blessed are the meek,
12:45for they shall be slaughtered.
12:49and a half-time.
12:49No, no, no, no, no.
12:49Wait, wait, wait.
12:50The plan.
12:51You've forgotten the plan.
12:53I thought that was the plan.
12:54Let's get those meek bastards now.
12:57Quiet!
13:00Who wants quiet?
13:03I want...
13:04Tire!
13:06And slaughtered!
13:09And...
13:10Flowers!
13:11What?
13:13Mercilessly crushed underfoot!
13:17Silence!
13:18Silence!
13:19Silence!
13:20Peace!
13:21The word of the Lord.
13:23For Christ's sake, let's hear the plan.
13:26The plan.
13:26Very well.
13:28The plan is simple.
13:29I thought it was cunning!
13:30Go with the plan!
13:32Well, it's cunning and it's simplest.
13:37Tonight, I ride for home.
13:39I say strike now while the iron is hot.
13:42But the iron isn't hot.
13:44Isn't that?
13:44No, it's just...
13:46Warming up.
13:47But when it is hot, then we will strike.
13:51What?
13:52Oh, we're going to have to wait till summer.
13:54No, when the iron is hot.
13:56What iron?
13:58Well then, Howie Howard agreed.
14:00I shall send for you all.
14:02How?
14:02Well, by a message, a sign.
14:05What sort of sign?
14:06Well, um...
14:08Something...
14:09Black, probably.
14:11Black voting.
14:13Not quite.
14:14Uh, messenger.
14:16With the black plague, perhaps.
14:18Yes, that's right.
14:19He means to kill us.
14:21What?
14:22A messenger with black...
14:24Hair.
14:26Ah!
14:27A black-headed messenger!
14:30And when he comes to you, drop whatever you are doing and speed with all haste to Jasper's tavern.
14:38I know it well! How is old Jasper these days?
14:41Dead.
14:42I killed him.
14:45And from there, from there, I shall take you to the castle where we will capture the king and the
14:51queen and the prince.
14:52Hey!
14:54And we shall say to them, the kingdom of Albion is ours.
14:58Hey!
14:58Hey!
14:59You are doomed to lives of exile.
15:02Get out!
15:05Yes, exile.
15:07For life.
15:10But why didn't we just kill them?
15:15I suppose we could kill them.
15:20Wait till I send the sign.
15:22If I get a messenger with blackheads all over each week...
15:26Oh!
15:27I know!
15:28It isn't a trap.
15:31Because the black adder gives you his word.
15:36We want your word, not this black adder, fellows.
15:40But I am the black adder.
15:44Oh, I see.
15:46And when all is done, the black seal shall rule England.
15:51Hooray!
15:53We few!
15:54We happy few!
15:56We band of ruthless bastards!
15:59Hooray!
16:00All for one!
16:02And each man for himself!
16:10We're in a merry mood, my lord.
16:12Oh, yes.
16:13No one can stop me now.
16:15No one?
16:16No, no one.
16:20Except perhaps...
16:21No!
16:22Not even him!
16:24And who might that be, my lord?
16:26Well, there was a man.
16:30Philip of Burgundy.
16:33Known to his enemies as...
16:35The Hawk.
16:37We were deadly childhood rivals.
16:40Although, of course, in those days, he was known as...
16:43The Crush.
16:45And no one's heard of him for years.
16:50Well, come on.
16:51Let's go.
16:51We've got work to do.
16:53It's hard so far, Statenborough!
16:57This hawk.
16:58Did he look something like this?
17:00The Witch.
17:15Not really, no.
17:21Oh my God, Philip of Burgundy
17:24Known to my enemies as
17:28The Hawk
17:31But your horse used to be a huge brown
17:36Yes, that's the one
17:41Well, it's been very good to see you, Phil
17:47This time, not fast enough
17:49What do you want with me?
17:51I'll tell you later
18:00I return at last after 15 years
18:03And what have you been up to?
18:06Waiting, plotting, nurturing my hatred and planning my revenge
18:11So you've kept yourself busy
18:13Yes, 15 years in France teaches a man to hate
18:1815 years of wearing perfume
18:2115 years of eating frogs
18:2315 years of saying pardon
18:26And all because of you
18:29But surely, the scenery
18:31I never went outside, I couldn't stand this
18:34What has all this got to do with me?
18:36Because, Edmund, it is going to take you 15 years
18:42To die
18:45Senior?
18:46Yes
18:46How?
18:47I think it might be more amusing if you found out for yourself
18:50Let us just say it has something to do with
18:56Slaves
19:03Oh, my God
19:04Where are you going?
19:05Fire to the castle to kill the royal family
19:07And claim a throne that isn't mine by right
19:20Dear Lord
19:21Who made the birds and the bees
19:24And the snails
19:26Presumably
19:27Please help me
19:29A little animal, too
19:32In my despair
19:34I have been a sinner
19:35But now I intend to follow the path of the saints
19:39Particularly
19:41The very religious ones
19:44In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost
19:47Amen
19:49Amen
19:50What?
19:52Amen, I said
19:54But, did I get it wrong?
19:56I haven't said that word for 20 years
19:57You see?
19:59Who are you?
19:59I didn't realise I had company
20:02Oh, company?
20:04I haven't said that word for 20 years, either
20:05Or realise
20:06I've completely forgotten
20:08Realise
20:09I'm not mad, are you?
20:11Yes, I'm very mad, thank you
20:13Mad!
20:14That's the words I know
20:15I say to myself every day
20:16I say, good morning, Mad Gerald
20:18How are you today?
20:19I say, I'm completely mad
20:20I'm completely mad today, thank you
20:22There's not much change there, then, is there, Gerald?
20:24I say, no
20:24Well, you'd be mad to expect any, wouldn't you?
20:27But I am mad
20:28I'm mad, Gerald
20:29Quiet!
20:32Shhh, shhh
20:33Look
20:34This may seem a stupid question
20:36Question
20:37Yes, sir
20:37But you don't know if there's a way out of here, do you?
20:40A way out
21:06Oh, what are you say?
21:09I haven't heard those words
21:11I haven't heard those words
21:11A way out
21:12For
21:13Ooh
21:1420 years
21:15Yes, yes, 20 years
21:17Not like Mr. Rat
21:19I'm always saying
21:21Mr. Rat
21:23Mr. Rat
21:25I tend to say
21:26Good morning, Mr. Rat
21:28Uh, how are you today?
21:31And he said, um
21:33Beep, beep
21:44No
21:45You mustn't be rude about Mr. Rat
21:47He's my best friend
21:50Yes
21:53Wow
21:55There's him
21:56And there's Mr. King
21:57What?
21:59Mr. King
22:02I made him
22:03Out of my own teeth
22:08Good morning, Mr. King
22:10All right, Gerald
22:14There's a bloody door
22:20Stop
22:20Stop
22:23Where are you going?
22:24I'll tell you where
22:25Where are you going to sell these six black homing pigeons
22:28I've got in the back here?
22:29That's where
22:30Black homing pigeons?
22:32Well, mostly
22:35How much are they?
22:36Six shilling
22:38Damn
22:39I suppose if you beat me and gagged me and tied me to that tree over there
22:44You can have them for less
22:46All right
23:13I'll tell you where they're going to sell these six black homing pigeons
23:17I'll tell you where they're going to sell these six black homing pigeons
23:38I'll tell you where they're going to sell these six black homing pigeons
23:41I'll tell you where they're going to sell these six black homing pigeons
24:07I'll tell you where they're going to sell these six black homing pigeons
24:13I'll tell you where they're going to sell these six black homing pigeons
24:17burgundy
24:18edmund
24:19i had not expected to see you again
24:22dead men don't tend to make social calls
24:25do they
24:27prepare to die
24:28wait
24:30let me say just one last thing
24:32if these men are indeed as they seem to be
24:35the six most evil men in the land
24:37yes they are
24:39your last sentence please
24:41then they made a pretty damn peculiar choice for their leader
24:43haven't they my lord warden
24:45of the privilege
24:47you think they should have chosen you
24:49thrush
24:51a man
24:53twisted by unbridled ambition
24:55a man
24:57tortured by insatiable greed
24:59the most evil
25:01man in the world
25:03you think they should have chosen you
25:05yes
25:09but he's a mindless killer
25:11hey
25:11you destroy the kingdom
25:13hurray
25:14he murdered his own family
25:17who didn't i certainly killed mine
25:19and i killed mine and i killed yours
25:21did you good on your father
25:23hurray
25:26prepare to die
25:28wait
25:30i have a more
25:31amusing method
25:33amusing for whom
25:35gentlemen
25:38oh
25:39oh
25:41oh
25:43in precisely one minute
25:45the spike
25:47will go up your nevers
25:51the shears
25:52the shears
25:53will cut off your ears
25:57yes
25:59then these axes will chop off your hands
26:03and i do not think we need
26:05go into the attributes
26:07of the coddling grinder
26:11these feathers here
26:13will tickle you
26:15under what's left of your arms
26:17and that
26:19is the amusing part
26:21oh
26:22oh
26:24gentlemen
26:25let us go and slaughter all the rest of the royal family
26:29god save the king
26:31because nobody else
26:33will
26:37stop
26:41first let us relieve these wenches of their delightful burden
26:44and drink a toast to our enterprise
26:46may good thrive
26:49over our dead bodies
27:09hmm
27:10it's got a bit of a sting in its tail
27:37oh
27:38Edmund
27:39Edmund
27:40Edmund
27:42he lives
27:44hey
27:44hey
27:45hey
27:46hey
27:47father
27:50you called me
27:52edmund
27:53sorry
27:54edgar
27:55how are you
27:58not so well
27:59Harry
28:02what do you think
28:04my chances are
28:06oh
28:06good
28:07good
28:08he will live
28:10oh no
28:11sorry i thought you meant your chances of going to heaven
28:17No...
28:18No...
28:19Never fear, my son.
28:20Your body may be mutilated beyond recognition,
28:23but your spirit will live forever!
28:26My lords!
28:27What did you say?
28:29I give you...
28:31Edgar!
28:35I told you to poison the black seals and goblin.
28:38Stop poising the whole fact!
28:40Edgar!
28:41What did you...
28:46The Black Dagger!
28:52May his name last as long
28:55as our dynasty!
29:08Good Lord!
29:11I wonder if it was the wine.
29:22No?
29:24Seems perfectly all right to me.
29:28And now, at last,
29:31I shall be king of...
29:42So now, the wage of sin is paid,
29:49The bladest of the Blackstead grazes.
29:57The only sound across the glade
30:04Is Edmund pushing up the daisies.
30:12Black Dagger, Black Dagger,
30:19A shame about the plan.
30:27Black Dagger, Black Dagger,
30:33Thou will you horrid
30:48May...
30:50Donald, drink the wine!
30:52Black Dagger, Essa Master Anne!
30:53kah-
30:53Yes!
30:54You wereAH!
30:54Oh, God Inhaling!
30:57Christ Dagger Cheyce!
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