- 2 giorni fa
- #blackadder
- #rowanatkinson
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Blackadder (1986) - Stagione 2
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #subita
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #subita
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DivertentiTrascrizione
00:04Musica
00:30Musica
00:39Father, I must speak. I can be silent no longer.
00:44All day long you mutter to yourself, jibber, dribble, moan, and bash your head against the wall, yelling, I want
00:52to die.
00:52I... Now, you may say I'm leaping to conclusions, but you're not completely happy, are you?
01:02It's mother, isn't it?
01:03No, it's not.
01:04You're brooding over her death, aren't you?
01:06Kate, for the final time, your mother is not dead. She's run off with your Uncle Henry.
01:12Dear father, no one can only say such things to comfort me.
01:16Your mother is alive and well and living in Droitwich.
01:19It's not her I brood over.
01:21I'm sad because, my darling, our poverty has now reached such extremes that I can no longer afford to keep
01:28us
01:29and must look to my own dear tiny darling to sustain me in my frail dotage.
01:35But, Father, surely...
01:37Yes, Kate.
01:39I want you to become a prostitute.
01:42Oh, Father.
01:44Do you defy me?
01:46Why, indeed I do.
01:47For it is better to die poor than to live in shame and ignominy.
01:51No, it isn't.
01:52I'm young and strong and clever.
01:55My nose is pretty.
01:56I shall find another way to earn us a living.
01:59Oh, please go on the game.
02:02It's a steady job.
02:04And you'd be working from home.
02:08Goodbye, Father.
02:10I shall go to London.
02:12Disguise myself as a boy.
02:14And seek my fortune.
02:16Well, why walk all the way to London when you can make a fortune lying on your back?
02:24Oh, very good shot, my lord.
02:25Thank you, Boris.
02:29Sorry I'm late.
02:30Oh, don't bother apologising.
02:32I'm sorry you're alive.
02:35Oh, good.
02:36I see the target's ready.
02:39I'd like to see the Spaniard who could make his way past me.
02:43Well, you're a Spain.
02:45There are millions of them.
02:46I advise them to stay there, then.
02:48Keep their hands off our women.
02:50Oh, God.
02:51Who is she this time?
02:53I don't know what you mean.
02:56Oh!
02:58Ah, and who is Jane?
03:01I'm sworn to secrecy.
03:03Torture me, kill me, you shall never know.
03:06Oh, Jane Harrington!
03:09We are very much in love, my lord.
03:11This is THE Jane Harrington?
03:13Yes.
03:14Jane, bury me in a Y-shaped coffin, Harrington.
03:20I think maybe there are two Jane Harringtons.
03:24No?
03:25Tall, blonde, elegant?
03:26Aye, that's right.
03:27Goes like a privy door when the plague's in, then.
03:29Oh, my lord!
03:31Come on, get on with your shot.
03:34You'll get over her.
03:37I did.
03:47So did Boring, actually.
03:50Yeah.
03:52You see, you've got this thing about beards, apparently.
03:55Well, in that case, I'm going to shave.
04:05Bad luck, Baldur's.
04:07Not to worry, my lord.
04:08The arrow didn't, in fact, enter my body.
04:11Oh, good.
04:11No, by a thousand to one chance, my willy got in the way.
04:19Extraordinary.
04:19Yeah, I'd only just put it there.
04:21But now, I will leave it there forever.
04:24Why, it's so, Baldur, it can be your lucky willy.
04:28Yes, my lord.
04:29Years from now, I'll show it to my grandchildren.
04:32Oh, Baldur, I think the grandchildren may now be out of the question.
04:34What?
04:36Poor old pea-brainer.
04:38Ha!
04:38Never catch me falling in love.
04:40That's what damn sure is mustard.
04:41Come in.
04:45Good day to you, Lord Blackarrow.
04:47Ah.
04:48Good day to you.
04:52Boy.
04:54What is it brings you here?
04:56I'm an honest, hard-working lad, but poor.
04:59And I must support my father, who is stark-raving mad.
05:02Therefore, I come to London to seek a servant's wage.
05:05Well, yes, indeed.
05:06Unfortunately, I already have a servant.
05:08The word is
05:10that your servant is the worst servant in London.
05:14Oh, that's true.
05:15Baldur, you're fired.
05:17Be out of the house.
05:18Well, young man, you've got yourself a job.
05:21What do they call you?
05:22Kate.
05:23Isn't that a bit of a girl's name?
05:26Oh, it's, um, short for, um,
05:29Bob.
05:32Bob.
05:33Yes.
05:34Well.
05:35Bob.
05:36Welcome on board.
05:40Sorry, Baldur, any reason you're still here?
05:42What if, uh,
05:43I've got nowhere to go, my lord.
05:45Oh, surely you'll be allowed to starve to death
05:48in one of the royal parks.
05:50I've been in your service since I was two and a half, my lord.
05:52Well, that must be why I'm so utterly sick of the sight of you.
05:56Couldn't I just stay here and do the same job, but for no wages?
06:00Well, you know where you'd have to live.
06:02In the gutter?
06:03Yes.
06:04And you'd have to work a bit harder, too.
06:06Of course, my lord.
06:06All right.
06:07Go and get Bob's stuff in and chuck your filthy muck out into the street.
06:10God bless you, sweet master.
06:13Bob!
06:15Bob, this is Percy.
06:17A dimwit I don't seem to be able to shake off.
06:19Ah, hello there, Bob.
06:21You young roister-douster, you.
06:24You look a likely sort of lad for tricks and sports
06:27and all sorts of jolly, rosy-cheek caperings, eh?
06:31Of course you do.
06:32And more besides, I'll warrant you, young scamp.
06:36Thank you so much for letting me stay, Lord Blackadder.
06:38No, not at all, Bob.
06:39I'm looking forward to having you.
06:41Having another man about the house
06:43instead of that animal, Baldrick.
06:47Excuse me, I'm just going to the lavatory.
06:50How little he knows
06:52and how much I would have him know.
06:55I say, Bob, I think this calls for a celebration.
06:58How about a game of cup and ball
07:00and a slap of tea at Mrs. Miggins' pie shop?
07:03Get lost, creep.
07:06I like you, young Bob.
07:08You've got balls.
07:18Nice try, Melchie, but it's no use.
07:21I'm still bald.
07:23I'm very sorry, madam.
07:24Your royal father used to be very amused
07:27by my impersonation of Columbus.
07:29It doesn't surprise me.
07:31He used to laugh.
07:33There's people with the funny faces
07:35and the bells.
07:36Ah, jesters, ma'am.
07:37No, it's lepers.
07:42Where's Edmund these days?
07:44Ah, well, the whisper
07:46on the underground grapevine, ma'am,
07:48is that Lord Blackadder
07:49is spending all his time
07:50with a young boy in his service.
08:21Do you think he'd spend more time with me
08:22as a girl?
08:24And everyone was really disappointed.
08:26Oh, yes, well, you see,
08:27he was a very perceptive man,
08:29Sir Thomas More.
08:30Oh, what has happened to Edmund?
08:32There's something very odd
08:34about someone who spends
08:35all their time with a servant.
08:37All right.
08:38Come on.
08:45All right.
08:48All right.
09:28No, no, no, no, no.
09:35Yes, we could sing to really dirty songs and...
09:40Oh, God, I find you curiously pleasant company, young Bob.
09:44I am honoured and for my part want nothing more than to be with you, old man.
09:49Well, absolutely. I mean, there's nothing more healthy and normal than having a good chum.
09:58Well, thank you, my lord, of love.
10:01You mean rumpy pumpy?
10:03What would you say, my lord, if I were to say, I love you?
10:10Um, well, of course, it depends entirely on who you said it to.
10:14If you said it to a horse, I'd presume you were sick.
10:17If you said it to Baldrick, I'd presume you were blind.
10:21And if you said it to me, you were...
10:23Yes, my lord.
10:24Well, well, I'd naturally assume we were having a big lad's joke about back ticklers the way we healthy fathers
10:31often do.
10:31And I'd probably grab you for a friendly wrestle and then we'd probably slap each other's thighs like jolly good
10:38chums
10:38and laugh at what it would be like if we really did fancy each other.
10:45In that case, my lord, I love you.
10:47Sì, sì, sì.
11:18Sì, sì, sicuramente, Baldrick.
11:20Help yourself.
11:21I was just off to bed.
11:24Anyway.
11:25Good night, Baldrick.
11:28Good night, Bob.
11:30Good night, my lord.
11:33Yes.
11:35Oh, God.
11:40Now then, what seems to be the trouble?
11:42Well, it's my manservant.
11:45I see.
11:46Well, don't be embarrassed.
11:48If you've got the pox, just pop your manservant on the table and we'll take a look.
11:54No, no, no.
11:55No, I mean, it's my real manservant.
11:58Uh-huh.
11:59And what's wrong with him?
12:01There's nothing wrong with him.
12:02That's the problem.
12:03He's perfect.
12:04And last night, I almost kissed him.
12:07I see.
12:08So you've started fancying boys, then, have you?
12:12Not boys.
12:13A boy.
12:14Yes.
12:14Well, let's not split hairs.
12:16It's all rather disgusting and naturally all worried.
12:18Of course I'm worried.
12:19Well, of course you are.
12:20It isn't every day a man wakes up to discover he's a screaming bender with no more right
12:25to live on God's clean earth than a weasel.
12:28Ashamed of yourself?
12:29Not really, no.
12:30Bloody hell, I would be.
12:32And still, why should I complain?
12:34It just leaves more rampant totty for us real men, eh?
12:38Look, am I paying for this personal abuse or is it extra?
12:40No, part of the service.
12:43I think you're in luck, though.
12:45An extraordinary new cure has just been developed for exactly this kind of sordid problem.
12:50It wouldn't have anything to do with leeches, would it?
12:53I had no idea you were a medical man.
12:55I've never had anything you doctors didn't try to cure with leeches.
12:58A leech on my ear for earache.
13:00A leech on my bottom for constipation.
13:02They're marvellous, aren't they?
13:04Well, the bottom one wasn't.
13:04I just sat down and squashed it.
13:07You know, the leech comes to us on the highest authority.
13:09Yes, I'd heard that.
13:10Dr. Hoffman of Stuttgart, isn't it?
13:12That's right, the great Hoffman.
13:14Owner of the largest leech farm in Europe.
13:17Yes.
13:18Well, I can't spend all day gossiping.
13:19I'm a busy man.
13:21As far as this case is concerned, I've now had time to think it over
13:25and I can strongly recommend A Course of Leeches.
13:31Just pop a couple down my codpiece before I go to bed.
13:34No, no, no, no.
13:36Don't be ridiculous.
13:37This isn't the Dark Ages.
13:38Just pop four in your mouth in the morning and let them dissolve slowly.
13:43In a couple of weeks, you'll be beating your servant with a stick,
13:46just like the rest of us.
13:48You're just an old quack, aren't you?
13:50I'd rather be a quack than a ducky.
13:51Good day.
13:54The only thing to follow, my lord, is this lovely fat spider I found in the bar.
14:00I was saving it for myself, but if you found it...
14:03Oh, shut up, Mordrick.
14:04I don't eat invertebrates for fun, you know.
14:07This is doctor's orders.
14:09Oh, I don't hold with this newfangled doctrine.
14:11Any problems, I'll go to the wise woman.
14:14Yes, Mordrick.
14:15I'm long past entrusting myself to some deranged druid who gives her professional address
14:19as one Dunghill Mansion's Putney.
14:29Tell me, young crone, is this Putney?
14:32That it be.
14:33That it be.
14:35Yes, it is, not that it be.
14:39You don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me.
14:42I'm not a tourist.
14:45I seek information about a wise woman.
14:48The wise woman.
14:49The wise woman.
14:51Yes, the wise woman.
14:53Two things, my lord, must ye know of the wise woman.
14:58Yes.
14:58First, she is a woman.
15:04And second, she is...
15:08Wise.
15:10You do know her, then?
15:12No.
15:12Just a wild stab in the dark, which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a
15:17bit more helpful.
15:20Do you know where she lives?
15:23Of course.
15:24Where?
15:25Here.
15:26Do you have an appointment?
15:27No.
15:28Well, you can go in anyway.
15:31Thank you, young crone.
15:32Here is a purse of monies, which I'm not going to give to you.
15:44Hail, Edmund, lord of Adder's Black.
15:48Hello.
15:49Step you nearer.
15:50For already I see thy bloody purpose.
15:53Thou plotterst, Blackadder.
15:56Thou wouldst be king.
15:58e drown middlesex in a batte of wine.
16:06No, no, no, no, it's far worse than that.
16:09I'm in love with my manservant.
16:12Oh, well, I'd sleep with him if I were you.
16:15What?
16:16When I fancy people, I sleep with them.
16:19Oh, I have to drug them first, of course.
16:23Being so old and warty.
16:25But what about my position, my social life?
16:29Very well, then.
16:31Three other paths are open to you.
16:33Three cunning plans to cure thine ailment.
16:37Oh, good.
16:39The first is simple.
16:41Kill Bob.
16:42Never.
16:43Then try the second.
16:45Kill yourself.
16:47And the third?
16:48The third is to ensure that no one else ever knows.
16:53Ah, that sounds more like it.
16:54How?
16:55Kill everybody in the whole world!
17:07Now, look here, Bob.
17:08I've got something very important to say to you,
17:10and I want you to listen very carefully.
17:11Yes.
17:12Look, Bob.
17:13I've decided that you are to leave my service.
17:17Oh, no, my lord.
17:19My father will starve and I'll have to become a male prostitute.
17:24And besides, I thought we were friends.
17:26Well, we are friends, Bob.
17:27Of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course, of course,
17:31of course, of course, of course, of course.
17:34In fact, that's the reason I want you to leave my service and become my live-in chum.
17:43Oh, my lord!
17:44Now, I want to make it absolutely clear that I'm in no way interested in the contents of your tights.
17:50You might be, my lord, if you knew what I kept in them.
17:53Uh, I've learned of myself, Bob, that I know what a gentleman keeps in his tights.
17:57Thank you very much.
17:58But, my lord, I have a great secret.
18:02What?
18:03Prepare to be amazed.
18:07Oh, no, you haven't got one of those birthmarks shaped like a banana, have you?
18:12No.
18:12Or a tattoo saying, get it here.
18:16No.
18:17Oh, God.
18:18You've got one of those belly buttons that sticks outwards, haven't you?
18:21No, my lord.
18:22Well, what can it possibly be?
18:27Ah.
18:29Good lord.
18:34So what was all that Bob stuff about, then?
18:36Because you would have just used me and cast me aside like you have so many women before.
18:41Ha!
18:41Would I?
18:43Yes.
18:44But now you've had a chance to grow to love me for what I really am.
18:47Yes, that's true.
18:49And now, I want to marry you.
18:52Bob.
18:54Kate.
18:55Then come.
18:56Kiss me, Kate.
18:59I bring grave intelligence of your former favourite, Lord Blackadder.
19:04Oh, God!
19:04It appears he wishes to marry a girl called Bob.
19:11That's a very odd name for a girl, isn't it?
19:14Girls are normally called Elizabeth.
19:16Oh, Mary.
19:17And Donald.
19:18Mouth is open, Nancy.
19:20You should be shut.
19:21That is true, sweet one.
19:22I had three sisters and they were called Donald, Eric and Basil.
19:26Then why is your name Nancy?
19:27That is my real name.
19:28Isn't it?
19:29No.
19:30What is your real name, then?
19:31Ah.
19:32Bernard.
19:36Suits you, actually.
19:37Your majesty.
19:38Oh, hello, stranger.
19:39I seek your permission to wed.
19:41So I hear.
19:42That's she.
19:43What do you think of all this?
19:45I must profess, madam, I am astonished that Blackadder could possibly have eyes for any other woman than yourself.
19:51Good point.
19:52No, slightly grovelly.
19:55But when I fell in love, Mum, I didn't know she was a woman.
19:58I thought she was a boy.
20:00Of course, that makes it perfectly acceptable.
20:04Oh, all right.
20:06Go on and marry her.
20:08Thank you, Mum.
20:09Just tell me one thing.
20:12Is her nose as pretty as mine?
20:15Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Mum.
20:18Oh, God.
20:20Because otherwise, I would have cut it off.
20:23And then you'd have had to marry someone without her nose, and that wouldn't be very nice, would it?
20:29No, Mum.
20:30I mean, imagine a mess when she got a cold.
20:33Yuck!
20:38Well, quite, Mum.
20:40All right.
20:41Off you go, then.
20:46Everyone seems to get married except me.
20:48And me, Mum.
20:50Oh, shut up, Bernard.
20:53You make a lovely bridesmaid, Baldrick.
20:58Pity me that I have no actual girl chums, because we were so poor in our house we couldn't afford
21:03friends.
21:04It is strange, in keeping with the manner of our courtship, that your maid of honour should be a man.
21:08Thank you very much, my lord.
21:09Well, I use the word man in its broadest possible sentence.
21:13Well, as we all know, God made man in his own image.
21:16It'd be a sad look out for Christians throughout the globe if God looked anything like you, Baldrick.
21:21Ignore old Mr. Grumpy.
21:25There you are, boulders.
21:29You look sweet as a little pie.
21:32Kate, he looks like what he is, a dung ball in a dress.
21:37Oh, Edmund.
21:41Hello, there.
21:45Edmund, you didn't tell me we were expecting guests.
21:49And such a pretty one, too.
21:52Oh, God.
21:54Well, you're a little cutie to be hiding yourself away all these years.
21:59Tell me, gorgeous, what's your name?
22:01He's called Baldrick.
22:06Baldrick.
22:07That's a pretty name.
22:10Edmund used to have a servant called Baldrick.
22:14But anyway, away with such small talk.
22:18Lady, a kiss.
22:21What?
22:23You're so modest, too.
22:24Come on, you little tease.
22:26You know you want to.
22:28Give us a kiss.
22:29All right.
22:30You say so.
22:49What's an original perfume?
22:54That is our Baldrick.
22:56He's wearing a dress.
23:02Anyway, what do you want?
23:06Well, there has been some discussion around the court
23:10on the subject of who's going to be your best man.
23:13And I thought it might be the moment to bring the subject to a conclusion.
23:18Ah, yes, Percy.
23:19I would like you.
23:20Oh, I'm so proud.
23:22Please, let me finish.
23:23I would like you to take this letter to Dover.
23:25Well, it's literally dropped the galleon of my old school friend and adventurer,
23:29Lord Flashheart.
23:30He shall be my best man.
23:33Lord Flashheart.
23:34Hmm.
23:35The best sword, the best shot, the best sailor,
23:39and the best kisser in the kingdom.
23:42Even he.
23:42To Dover at once.
23:44Yes.
23:47Actually, I was going to suggest Lord Flashheart for best man myself.
23:52Larry.
24:03All right.
24:04Edmund, I can't believe it's really happening.
24:07It is, my sweet.
24:09Before we go in, I want you to meet my father.
24:12Oh, fine.
24:20Excuse me.
24:21Could you move along, please?
24:27Look, I'm waiting for my father-in-law.
24:28Last thing I want is some scruffy old beggar
24:30blocking a third or a spinning of cabbage.
24:33I am your father-in-law.
24:37Oh, no.
24:39All right.
24:39How much do you want to clear off?
24:41Edmund, how could you hear my father,
24:43my only living relative?
24:45Ten pounds should do the trick.
24:47All right.
24:48There we go.
24:50Edmund, you mustn't.
24:51Oh, don't worry.
24:52I'll get Baldrick to beat him up after the ceremony.
24:54We'll get the money back.
25:00Oh, Edmund, could we get on, do you think?
25:02I want to get to the reception
25:03so I can get squiffy and seduce someone.
25:06Yes.
25:06Unfortunately, ma'am,
25:07my best man still has not arrived.
25:09We'll get another one.
25:10Well, there's no one else I can really think of.
25:16Sorry, Percy?
25:18Nothing, my lord.
25:19Just clearing my throat.
25:21Good.
25:23What, are you coughing all the way through the ceremony?
25:27Come on, Edmund.
25:28You must be able to think of another best man.
25:30Well, I suppose I could ask Percy.
25:33Percy!
25:33My lord!
25:34Can you think of another best man?
25:39Well, my lord, one name does spring to mind.
25:43Yes, but I can't ask Baldrick.
25:44He's a bridesmaid.
25:46Besides, I need a friend, an equal, an old and trusty companion.
25:52I think there is one person in the room who fits the description.
25:56Of course!
25:58Nursie!
25:59How do you fancy putting on a pair of hoes and being my best man?
26:02Edmund, don't be so naughty.
26:03You know perfectly well who Percy is referring to.
26:06All right.
26:06I'm sorry.
26:07Melch it.
26:08All right, all right.
26:09As shamed as I am and contradiction in terms though it is, Percy, you can be the best man.
26:15Oh, my lord!
26:17Noble curse!
26:18What an honour!
26:20I brought along a ring.
26:21Just...
26:22I really did think old Flash would have turned up.
26:29It's me!
26:30Flash!
26:33Flash by name!
26:34Flash by nature!
26:37Hooray!
26:38Hooray!
26:39Where have you been?
26:40Where haven't I been?
26:41What?
26:44Well, I'm here now.
26:47Who is that?
26:49I don't know, but he's in your place.
26:51Not for long.
26:53What the hell?
27:00Thanks, bridesmaid.
27:02Like the beard.
27:05Gives me something to hang on to.
27:11So, my old mate, Eddie's getting hitched, eh?
27:15What's the matter?
27:16Can't stand the pace of the in-grad?
27:20Hi, Queenie.
27:21You look sexy.
27:24But listen, wear your hair long.
27:26I prefer it that way.
27:28I've got such a crush on him.
27:31And Melchie!
27:35Still worshipping God?
27:37Oh, my Lord.
27:38Last thing I heard, he started worshipping me!
27:40Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
27:45Nursie!
27:46I like it firm and fruity.
27:50Am I pleased to see you, or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?
27:54Down, boy!
27:55Down!
28:01And now, where's this amazing bird?
28:05The one who stopped my old pal Eddie doing exactly whatever he wants.
28:09Ten times a night.
28:11Ah, yes.
28:12Flash, let me introduce my fiancée, Kate.
28:16Hi, baby.
28:33She's got a tongue like an electric eel, and she likes the taste of a man's tonsils.
28:39You don't want to marry this jerk, baby.
28:40Meet me on my horse in eight seconds.
28:42I can't run in this frock.
28:44You see, I find I actually prefer wearing boys' clothes.
28:47Weird.
28:47I always feel more comfy in a dress.
28:50I've got a plan, and it's as hot as my pants.
28:55What a man Flash is, eh?
28:57Things will certainly liven around here.
28:59Now he's back.
29:00Weren't they, Flash?
29:02So long, suckers.
29:03Next time you get bored of your lives, give me a call, and I'll come round and kill you.
29:06Goodbye, Edmund, and thanks for everything.
29:08Hooray!
29:12It is customary on these occasions for the groom to marry the bridesmaid.
29:17I presume you intend to honour this?
29:21I do.
29:30To fall in love with boys is weird, especially boys without a tingle.
29:38Blackadder, blackadder, blackadder, his taste is rubber-hawed.
29:46Blackadder, blackadder, a rand a little sword.
29:52Blackadder, blackadder, I wish you were the star.
29:58Lott, lássat, lott, lássat, proszexia bai fa!
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