- 8 minuti fa
- #rowanatkinson
- #blackadder
- #subita
Blackadder (1987) - Stagione 3
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili.
#rowanatkinson #blackadder #subita
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili.
#rowanatkinson #blackadder #subita
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00:28Musica
00:36Well, Mrs Miggins, at last we can return to sanity.
00:39The hustings are over, the bunting is down, the mad hysteria is at an end.
00:44After the chaos of a general election, we can return to normal.
00:48Has there been a general election then, Mr Blackadder?
00:51Indeed there has, Mrs Miggins.
00:52Well, I never heard about it.
00:54Of course you didn't. You're not eligible to vote.
00:56Why not?
00:57Because virtually no one is.
00:58Women, peasants, chimpanzees, lunatics, lords...
01:05That's not true. Lord Nelson's got a vote.
01:08He's got a boat, Baldrick.
01:11Marvellous thing, democracy. Look at Manchester.
01:13Population 60,000, electoral roll 3.
01:17I may have a brain the size of a sultana...
01:20Correct.
01:21But it hardly seems fair to me.
01:23Well, of course it's not fair. And a damn good thing, too.
01:25Give the like of Baldrick the vote, and we'll be back to cavorting druids, death by stoning, and dung for
01:32dinner.
01:32Oh, I'm having dung for dinner tonight.
01:35So, who are they electing when they have these elections?
01:39Oh, the same old shower. Fat Tory landowners who get made MPs when they reach a certain weight.
01:46Raving revolutionaries who think that just because they do a day's work, that somehow gives them the right to get
01:50paid.
01:50Basically, it's a ride-o mess. Toffs at the top, plebs at the bottom, and me in the middle making
01:55a fat pile of cash out of them.
01:57Well, you've got to watch out, Mr Blackadder. Things are bound to change.
02:01Not while pit the elders, Prime Minister, they aren't.
02:04He's about as effective as a cat flap in an elephant house.
02:09As long as his feet are warm, and he gets a nice cup of milky tea in the sun before
02:13his morning nap, he doesn't bother anyone until his potty needs emptying.
02:18All members of the House of Commons, I call upon the new Prime Minister of Great Britain and her empires,
02:23Mr William Pitt, the younger.
02:26Mr Speaker, members of the House, I shall be brief, as I have, rather unfortunately, become Prime Minister right in
02:34the middle of my exams.
02:37I look forward to fulfilling my duty in a manner of which Nanny would be proud.
02:43I shall introduce legislation to utterly destroy three enemies of the state.
02:48The first is that evil dictator, Napoleon Bonaparte.
02:54The second is my old geography master, Banana Breath's Rickshanks.
03:00But most of all, sirs, I intend to pursue that utter slob, the Prince of Wales.
03:07Why?
03:08This year alone, he has spent £15,000 on banqueting.
03:13Ooh!
03:15£20,000 on perfume.
03:17Ooh!
03:19And most astonishingly of all, an astonishing £59,000 on socks.
03:28Therefore, my three main policy priorities are
03:32One, war with France.
03:34Ooh!
03:36Two, tougher sentences for geography teachers.
03:40And three, a right-world kick of the Prince's backside!
03:44Ooh!
03:45I now call upon the leader of the Opposition to test me on my Latin vocab.
03:53Sir, if I may make so bold, a major crisis has arisen in your affairs.
03:58Yes, I know, Blackheader.
03:59I've been pondering it all morning.
04:01You have, sir?
04:01Yes.
04:02Socks!
04:03Run out again!
04:05Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy,
04:08I never seem to have any?
04:09Sir, with your forgiveness, there is another, even weightier problem.
04:12They just disappear!
04:15Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here,
04:17stealing the damn things, and then selling them off.
04:24Impossible, sir.
04:25Only you and I have access to your socks.
04:28Yes, yes, you're right still.
04:30For me, socks are like sex.
04:32Tongues of it about, and I never seem to get any.
04:35Sir, if I may return to this very urgent matter.
04:38I read fearful news in this morning's paper.
04:41Oh, no.
04:42Not another little cat caught up in a tree.
04:45No, sir.
04:46There is a vote afoot in the new parliament to strike you from the civil list.
04:50Oh, yes, yes, yes.
04:51But what are they going to do about my socks?
04:52Sir, if this bill goes through, you won't have any socks.
04:55Well, I haven't got any socks at the moment.
04:57Or trousers, shirts, waistcoats, or pantaloons.
04:59They're going to bankrupt you.
05:02They can't do that.
05:04Why, the public love me.
05:06Only the other day I was out in the street, and they sang,
05:09We hail Prince George!
05:10We hail Prince George!
05:12We hate Prince George.
05:13We hate Prince George.
05:16Is it?
05:17I fear so, sir.
05:18However, all is not lost.
05:20Fortunately, the numbers in the Commons are exactly equal.
05:23If we can get one more MP to support us, then you're safe.
05:26Hurrah!
05:27Any ideas?
05:29Well, yes, sir.
05:29There is one man who might just be the ace of our sleeve.
05:32A rather crusty, loud-mouthed ace named Sir Talbot Buxomley.
05:38Never heard of him.
05:39That's hardly surprising, sir.
05:40Sir Talbot has the worst attendance record of any member of Parliament.
05:43On the one occasion he did enter the House of Commons,
05:46he passed water in the Great Hall,
05:48and then passed out in the Speaker's chair.
05:51But if we can get him to support us, then we are safe.
05:54Well, what's he like?
05:55Well, according to Who's Who,
05:56his interests include flogging servants,
05:59shooting poor people,
06:01and the extension of slavery to anyone who hasn't got a knighthood.
06:05Excellent!
06:06Sensible policies for a happier Britain.
06:09However, if we're going to get him to support us,
06:11he will need some sort of incentive.
06:14Anything in mind?
06:15Well, you could appoint him a High Court judge.
06:18Is he qualified?
06:19He's a violent, bigoted, mindless old fool.
06:23Sounds a bit overqualified.
06:24Well, get him here at once!
06:26Certainly, sir.
06:27I will return before you can say
06:29anti-disestablishmentarianism.
06:31Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that.
06:33Anti-distib-litz-min...
06:35Anti-mistil-instib...
06:38Anti-stib...
06:40Anti-distinctly minty monotaurism.
06:44Sir Talbot Buxomly.
06:45Ah!
06:47Buxomly!
06:48Roaringly splendid to have you here.
06:49How are you, sir?
06:50Partially well, your highness.
06:52I dined hugely off a servant before I come into town.
06:55Um, you eat your servants?
06:57Oh, sir.
06:58I eat off them.
06:59Why should I spend good money on tables when I have men standing idle?
07:04Why, indeed.
07:05Now, I dare say you've heard of Mr Pitt's intentions.
07:07Young scallywag!
07:09Ah, so you don't approve of his plans to abolish me, then?
07:11I do not, sir.
07:12Damn his eyes.
07:13Damn his britches.
07:15Damn his duck pond.
07:16Oh, hurrah for that.
07:17I cannot adjot that you are the son of a certified sauerkraut-sucking loon.
07:22Oh, thank you, sir.
07:23It reminds not me that you dress like a mad parrot
07:26and talk like a plate of beans
07:28negotiating their way out of a cow's digestive system?
07:31It is no skin off my rosy nose
07:34that there are bits of lemon peel floating down the Thames
07:37that would make better regions than you.
07:39Oh, bravo.
07:40The fact is, you are regent.
07:42Yes, I am.
07:43Appointed by God, and I shall stick by you forever,
07:46though infirmity lay me waste,
07:48and ill health curse my every waking moment.
07:51Well, good on you, sir.
07:53And don't talk to me about infirmity.
07:56Why, sir, you are the hardy stock
07:58that is the core of Britain's greatness.
08:00You have the physique of a demigod,
08:03purple of cheek and plump of fetlock,
08:06the shapely ankle and the well-filled trouser
08:08that tells of a human body in perfect working order.
08:12He's dead, sir.
08:15Dead?
08:16Yes, Your Highness.
08:18Oh, what bad luck.
08:19We were rather getting on.
08:20We must move at once.
08:22In which direction?
08:23Sir Talbot represented the constituency of Dunny-on-the-Wold,
08:26and by an extraordinary stroke of luck,
08:28it is a rotten borough.
08:30Really?
08:31Is it?
08:33Well, lucky, lucky us.
08:37Lucky, lucky, luck.
08:52You don't know what a rotten borough is, do you, sir?
08:56No.
08:57So what was the chicken impression in Adolf?
09:00Well, I just didn't want to hurt your feelings.
09:02Um, so, what is a robber button?
09:05A rotten borough.
09:07A rotten borough, sir, is a constituency
09:09where the owner of the land corruptly controls
09:11both the voters and the MP.
09:13Good.
09:14Yes.
09:15And a robber button is?
09:17Could we leave that for another?
09:18Down here on the world, there's a tuffly-hapenny place.
09:21Half an acre of sodden marshland in the Suffolk Fens
09:24with an empty town hall on it.
09:26Population?
09:26Three rather mangy cows.
09:29A dachshund named Colin.
09:31And a small hen in its late forties.
09:37So, no people at all, then?
09:39Apart from Colin.
09:41Colin is a dog.
09:44Only one actual person lives there, and he is the voter.
09:48Well, right, so, what's the plan?
09:49We must buy Dunny on the World at once,
09:51and thus control the voter.
09:53I shall need a thousand pounds.
09:55A thousand pounds?
09:57I thought you said it was a tuffly-hapenny place.
10:00Well, yes, sir, the land will cost tuppence-hapenny,
10:02but there are many other factors to be considered.
10:04Stamp duty, window tax,
10:08swamp insurance,
10:10hen food, dog biscuits, cow and food.
10:12The expenses are endless.
10:14Fine.
10:14Well, the money's in my desk.
10:15No, sir, it's in my wallet.
10:18Oh, splendid.
10:19No time to lose, eh?
10:20My thoughts precisely.
10:22The only question is who to choose as MP.
10:25Ah, tricky.
10:26What we need is an utter unknown,
10:28yet someone over whom we have complete power.
10:30A man with no mind,
10:32with no ideas of his own.
10:33One might almost say,
10:35a man with no brain.
10:39Any thoughts?
10:40Yes, Your Highness.
10:45I rang, my lord.
10:46Meet the new Member of Parliament for dummy on the word.
10:50But he's an absolute arsehead.
10:54Precisely, sir.
10:55Our slogan shall be,
10:56a rotten candidate for a rotten borough.
10:59Warwick,
11:00I want you to go back to your kitchen sink,
11:02you see,
11:02and prepare for government.
11:07Right, now all we have to do
11:08is fill in this MP application form.
11:12Name,
11:14Baldrick.
11:15First name?
11:16I'm not sure.
11:18You must have some idea.
11:20Well, it might be sod off.
11:25What?
11:26Well, when I used to play in the gutter,
11:28I used to say to the other snipes,
11:30hello, my name's Baldrick,
11:31and they'd say,
11:32yes, we know,
11:33sod off, Baldrick.
11:35All right, right, right, right, right.
11:37Mr. S. Baldrick.
11:39Now, distinguishing features,
11:42none.
11:43Well, I've got this big growth
11:44in the middle of my face.
11:45That's your nose, Baldrick.
11:48Now, any history of insanity in the family?
11:51Tell me what, I'll cross out the in.
11:54Any history of sanity in the family?
11:58None whatsoever.
12:00Now, the criminal record.
12:02Absolutely not.
12:03Oh, come on, Baldrick,
12:04you're going to be an MP, for God's sake.
12:07I'll just put fraud and sexual deviance on it.
12:13Now, minimum bribe level.
12:15One turnip.
12:17Oh, hang on, I don't want to price myself out of the market.
12:21Well, Rick, I've always been meaning to ask,
12:23do you have any ambitions in life
12:25apart from the acquisition of turnips?
12:28No.
12:29So what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?
12:32I'd get a little turnip of my own.
12:35So what would you do if I gave you a million pounds?
12:38Oh, that's different.
12:39I'd get a great big turnip in the country.
12:42Oh, God, I'll get that.
12:44Here.
12:45Sign here.
12:53Your Highness Pitch the Younger.
12:56Why, hello there, young shaver, me lad.
12:59I'd say, here's fun.
13:01I've a shiny sixpence here for the clever fellow
13:03who can tell me which hand it's in.
13:06Huh?
13:07Oh, school, school.
13:09On half-holes, is it?
13:11Yeah, I bet you can't wait to get back
13:12and get that bat in your hand
13:13and give those balls a good walloping, eh?
13:16Mr. Pitt is the Prime Minister, sir.
13:19Oh, go on.
13:21Eh?
13:21What, young snotty here?
13:24I'd rather have a runny nose than a runny brain.
13:27Eh?
13:29Um, excuse me, Prime Minister,
13:30but we do have some lovely jelly in the pantry.
13:33I don't know if you'd be interested at all.
13:34Don't patronise me, you lower-middle-class jobbo.
13:38What flavour is it?
13:40Black carrot.
13:42I say, Black carrot, are you sure this is the PM?
13:45Seems like a bit of an oily tick to me.
13:47When I was at school,
13:48we used to line up four or five of his sort,
13:50make them bend over and use them as a toast rack.
13:52Don't surprise me, sir.
13:53I know your sort.
13:57Once, it was I who stood in a big, cold schoolroom,
14:00a hot crumpet burning my cheeks with shame.
14:03Since that day,
14:05I've been busy every hour of God sends
14:07working to become Prime Minister
14:09and fight smoth and privilege wherever I found it.
14:11I trust you weren't too busy to remove the crumpet.
14:16You will regret this, gentlemen.
14:18You think you can fault my plans to bankrupt the prince
14:20by fixing the dummy-on-the-world by-election.
14:23But you will be thrashed.
14:24I intend to put up my own brother as a candidate against you.
14:28Oh, and which pit would this be?
14:31Pit the toddler?
14:34Pit the embryo?
14:37Pit the glint in the milkman's eye?
14:42Sirs, if I take the Chancellor Metternich
14:45at the Congress of Strasbourg,
14:46poo to you with knobs on,
14:48we shall meet sirs on the Hustings.
14:52I say, Blackout, what a ghastly squirt.
14:55He's not going to win, is he?
14:56No, sir, because firstly,
14:57we shall fight this campaign on issues and not personalities.
15:00Secondly, we shall be the only fresh thing on the menu.
15:04And thirdly, of course,
15:06we'll cheat.
15:09Good evening and welcome to the Dunny-on-the-world by-election.
15:13The first thing I must tell you
15:15is that the turnout has been very good.
15:16As a matter of fact,
15:17the voter turned out before breakfast.
15:19And I can bring you the result of our exclusive exit poll,
15:23which produced a 100% result for...
15:27Mind your own business, you nosy bastard.
15:32Mr. Hanner,
15:33are you going to talk to any of the candidates?
15:35I certainly am,
15:36and I can see Prince George,
15:37who is a leader of what has become known as the Adder Party.
15:41Prince George,
15:42who is described in his party news sheet
15:44as a great moral and spiritual leader of the nation,
15:48but is described by almost everyone else
15:50as a fat, flatulent git.
15:52Prince George,
15:54hello.
15:55Good evening.
15:55And good evening, Colin.
15:58How do you see your prospects in this campaign?
16:01Well, first, I'd like a word
16:02about the disgraceful circumstances
16:04in which this election arose.
16:05we paid for this seat,
16:06and I think it's a damn liberty
16:08we should have to stand for it as well.
16:10And another thing,
16:11why is it that no matter how many pairs of socks a man buys,
16:13he never seems to have enough?
16:15...words from the Prince Regent.
16:17And now let's have a word
16:18from the Adder Party candidate,
16:19Mr. S. Baldrick,
16:22who so far has not commented upon his policies in this campaign,
16:28but with him is his election agent,
16:30Mr. E. Blackadder.
16:32Well, we in the Adder Party
16:33are going to fight this campaign
16:34on issues, not personalities.
16:37Why is that?
16:37Because our candidate doesn't have a personality.
16:41He hasn't said much about the issues, either.
16:43No, he's got something wrong with his throat.
16:46Well, if that's he could answer one question,
16:48what does the S in his name stand for?
16:50Sod off.
16:51None of my business, really.
16:54Now it's time, I think, for a result.
16:57And tension is running very high here.
17:00Mr. Blackadder assures me
17:01that this will be the first honest vote ever
17:03in a rotten borough.
17:04And I think we all hope for a result
17:06which reflects the real needs of the constituency.
17:09And behind me, yes,
17:10I can just see the returning officer
17:12moving to the front of the platform.
17:14As the acting returning officer...
17:16The acting returning officer,
17:18Mr. E. Blackadder, of course.
17:20And we're all very grateful, indeed,
17:21that he stepped in at the last minute
17:23when the previous returning officer
17:24accidentally, brutally stabbed himself
17:26in the stomach while shaving.
17:28I now announce the number of votes cast as follows.
17:32Brigadier General Horace Bolson...
17:35Keep royalty white rat catching
17:37and safe sewage residence party.
17:39No votes.
17:44Ivor jestie not Madam Biggan...
17:47Standing at the back dress stupidly
17:49and looking stupid party.
17:51No votes.
18:00Pit the even younger...
18:02Whig...
18:03No votes.
18:04Oh, there's a shock.
18:08Mr. S. Baldrick...
18:10Adder party...
18:1316,472.
18:18And there you have it.
18:20Victory for the Adder party.
18:22A sensational swing against the Whigs.
18:24I'll just try and get a final word
18:25with some of the candidates
18:26as they come up from the stage.
18:28Master William Pitt the even younger.
18:30Are you disappointed?
18:32Yes, I'm horrified.
18:33I've smeared my opponent,
18:35bribed the press to be on my side
18:37and threatened to talk to the electorate if we lost.
18:40Failed to see what more decent politician could have done.
18:42Quite.
18:42Now, Ivor Kim,
18:44no votes at all
18:45for the standing at the back
18:46dressed stupidly
18:47and looking stupid party.
18:48Are you disappointed?
18:49No, not really.
18:50No, I always say
18:52if you can't laugh,
18:53what can you do?
18:56Take up politics, perhaps.
18:58Has the party got any policies?
19:00Oh, yeah, certainly.
19:01We're for the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast,
19:05free corsets for the under fives
19:07and the abolition of slavery.
19:09You see, many moderate people
19:10would respect your stand on asparagus,
19:12but what about this extremist nonsense
19:14about abolishing slavery?
19:16Oh, we just put that in for a joke.
19:17See you next year.
19:20And now, finally,
19:22a word with the man
19:23who is at the centre
19:24of this by-election mystery,
19:25the voter himself.
19:27And his name is
19:29Mr. E. Black...
19:33Mr. Blackadder,
19:34you are the only voter
19:35in this rotten borough.
19:36Yes, that's right.
19:38How long have you lived
19:39in this constituency?
19:40Since Wednesday morning.
19:43I took over
19:44from the previous electorate
19:45when he very sadly
19:46accidentally, brutally
19:47cut his head off
19:48while combing his hair.
19:51One voter
19:5416,472 votes.
19:56A slight anomaly?
19:57Not really,
19:58Mr. Hanna.
19:59You see,
19:59Mr. Baldrick may look
20:00like a monkey
20:01who's been put in a suit
20:03and then strategically shaved,
20:04but he is a brilliant politician.
20:06The number of votes
20:07I cast
20:07is simply a reflection
20:08of how firmly
20:09I believe in his policies.
20:11Well, that's excellent.
20:12Well, that's all for me.
20:14Another great day
20:15for democracy
20:15in our country.
20:16Vincent Hanna,
20:17Country Gentleman's
20:18Pig Fertiliser Gazette,
20:20Dunny on the World.
20:22We are reprieved.
20:23It is a triumph
20:25for stupidity
20:25over common sense.
20:27Thank you very much.
20:28As a reward, Baldrick,
20:29take a short holiday.
20:30Did you enjoy it?
20:32Right.
20:35Will the honourable members
20:36please cast their votes,
20:38aye or nay,
20:39for the striking
20:39of the Prince Regent
20:40off the civil list?
20:42Excuse me.
20:44Excuse me.
20:46Excuse me!
20:48Hello, little chubby.
20:49You're a new bug.
20:50Yeah,
20:51I don't know anyone here
20:52and I support the Prince
20:53and I don't know how to vote.
20:54Well,
20:55you can soon change
20:56all of that, can't you?
20:57Come along with me.
20:59Oh, thanks.
21:04Well, well, well.
21:06If it isn't
21:06the Lord Privy Toast Rack.
21:09Pull up a muffin.
21:10Sit yourself down.
21:12You don't like me,
21:13do you, Mr Blackadder?
21:14Well,
21:15nobody likes
21:16a loser.
21:17Oh,
21:18then that must be why
21:19nobody likes you.
21:20What?
21:21You lost the vote.
21:22Your monkey
21:23obligingly voted for us.
21:25Oh, God, no.
21:27If you want something
21:28done properly,
21:29kill Baldrick
21:30before you start.
21:32You're beaten,
21:33oik,
21:34and you and your
21:34disgusting master
21:35have 24 hours
21:36to get out.
21:3724 hours
21:38is a long time
21:39in politics.
21:40Good night.
21:41There is just
21:42one thing
21:42before I go.
21:46I've got this
21:47sort of downy hair
21:48developing on my chest.
21:49Is that normal?
21:50Also,
21:51I get so lonely
21:52and confused.
21:54I've written a poem
21:55about it.
21:55Maybe you'll understand.
21:57Why do nice girls
21:58hate me?
21:59Why do...
22:00Oh, get out,
22:00you nauseating adolescent.
22:10I've been so stupid.
22:13Goodbye,
22:15millionaires row.
22:16Hello,
22:16room 12
22:17of the Budley-Salterton
22:19twilight rest home
22:20for the terminally
22:21short of cash.
22:23and to think
22:24you once dreamed
22:25you'd end up
22:25in the House of Lords.
22:27What?
22:28The House of Lords.
22:29Of course,
22:30I've forgotten
22:30about the House of Lords.
22:32The Lords will never
22:33let the bill through.
22:34Every man-jack of them
22:35will be behind the prince.
22:36Oh, hurrah!
22:37Right,
22:38take Baldrick off the spit.
22:39Hurrah.
22:41I've got a plan
22:42so cunning
22:43you could put a tail
22:44on it
22:44and call it
22:45a weasel.
22:49Ta-da!
22:52Oi,
22:53tally-ho,
22:54Black Arrow.
22:55You look as happy
22:56as a man
22:56who thought a cat
22:57had done its business
22:58on his pie,
22:59but it turned out
22:59to be an extra big
23:00blackberry.
23:04Did our plan go well?
23:06Excellently, sir.
23:07Order a thousand pairs
23:08of finest cotton socks.
23:10Take out the drawings
23:11for that beach hut
23:12at Brighton.
23:12Hurrah!
23:13There was, however,
23:15one slight
23:17hiccup.
23:19No,
23:20cough,
23:20I think you mean.
23:23No, sir.
23:25Hiccup.
23:26The motion
23:27about your impoverishment
23:28has now moved on
23:29to the House of Lords.
23:30Oh!
23:31Bravo!
23:31Well,
23:32no worry there
23:32that every man
23:33jack of them
23:34will be behind me.
23:35Ah,
23:36would that were so,
23:37Your Highness.
23:37These are treacherous times.
23:39Are they?
23:40Yes.
23:41It might be wise
23:41to appoint a new lord
23:43to make sure
23:43the old lords
23:44vote the right way.
23:45Good thought.
23:47New lord.
23:48Any idea who?
23:50Well, sir,
23:51one name does
23:52leap to mine.
23:55Does it?
23:56Yes, sir.
23:57Couldn't make it
23:57leap any higher,
23:58could you?
24:00A young man
24:01in your service,
24:02who has done
24:02sterling work
24:03matching the political
24:04machinations
24:05of the evil pit.
24:09Oh!
24:10Of course!
24:11Blackadder!
24:12Oh,
24:12how can I ever
24:13thank you enough?
24:13and it might also
24:15be worth bribing
24:16a few lords
24:17just to make sure
24:17that they vote
24:18the way their
24:19consciences tell them.
24:20Well,
24:20how many should
24:21we bribe,
24:21do you think?
24:21Oh,
24:22I think 300,
24:23to be sure.
24:24At 1,000 pounds each.
24:28300,000 pounds?
24:30400,000,
24:31I think you'll find some.
24:34Yes,
24:35yes,
24:35you're right.
24:36Thank God
24:37I've got you
24:37to advise me,
24:38Bladder.
24:38Just remind me,
24:39what do I have to do
24:40to appoint this
24:41Lord Chappie?
24:42Oh,
24:42it's very simple,
24:43sir.
24:43You put on your
24:44robes of state,
24:45he puts on his,
24:48then you sign the
24:49document of ennobleman
24:50and dispatch him at once
24:51to the House of Lords.
24:52Excellent!
24:53I shall change immediately.
24:55And so,
24:56so shall I.
25:00Voila,
25:01Mrs. Miggins,
25:02my robes of state.
25:041,000 pounds well spent,
25:06I think.
25:06Oh,
25:08very nice.
25:10Oh,
25:11it's real cat,
25:12isn't it?
25:13This is not cat,
25:14Mrs. Miggins,
25:15this is finest
25:16leather-trimmed ermine
25:17with gold medallion accessories.
25:20Oh,
25:20go on,
25:20Mr. Blackadder,
25:21it's cat.
25:22Oh,
25:23look,
25:24they've left the little
25:25collars on.
25:28Mr. Frisky,
25:30if found,
25:32please return to
25:33Emma Hamilton
25:33Marine Parade
25:34Portsmouth.
25:36Oh,
25:36well,
25:37who cares about a dead cat
25:38now that I'm a fat cat?
25:40Oh,
25:40you're full of yourself
25:41today,
25:41Mr. B.
25:42Which is more than
25:42can be said
25:43for Mr. Frisky.
25:46My lords.
25:48My lords.
25:50I'm sorry,
25:51sir?
25:51My lords.
25:53There is more than one lord
25:54in the vicinity.
25:55Oh,
25:56well,
25:56yes,
25:57obviously.
25:57Will you please welcome
25:58His Grace,
26:00the Lord Baldrick.
26:10You made
26:13Baldrick a lord?
26:15Oh,
26:15yes.
26:16One who has recently
26:17done sterling work
26:18matching the political
26:19machinations of the evil pit.
26:21Good old Lord Baldrick.
26:22It's all right,
26:23Blackadder,
26:23you don't have to
26:24curtsy or anything.
26:26Sir,
26:27might I let loose
26:28a short,
26:28violent exclamation?
26:30Oh,
26:30why,
26:30certainly.
26:31Damn!
26:32Thanks,
26:33You say,
26:34that's a bit of a strange
26:35get-up you've got there,
26:36isn't it,
26:36Blackadder?
26:37Yes,
26:37I'm just off to a
26:38fancy dress party.
26:40I'm going as
26:41Lady Hamilton's
26:43pussy.
26:48There's just one
26:49question,
26:50sir.
26:50About the
26:51400,000 to
26:52influence the lords.
26:54Oh,
26:54yes,
26:54I gave that to
26:55Lord Baldrick.
26:56Ah,
26:59might I be permitted
27:00to take Lord Baldrick
27:01downstairs to give him
27:02some instruction
27:03in his lordly duties?
27:04I think that's
27:05a splendid idea.
27:06This way,
27:08my lord.
27:15Give me the
27:16bloody money,
27:17Baldrick,
27:17or you're dead.
27:18Give me the
27:19bloody money,
27:19Baldrick,
27:20or you're dead,
27:20my lord.
27:23Just do it,
27:24Baldrick.
27:24Otherwise,
27:25I shall further
27:26ennoble you by
27:27knighting you
27:27rather clumsily
27:28with this meat
27:29cleaver.
27:30I've got it.
27:31What?
27:32I spent it.
27:33You spent it?
27:35What could you
27:36possibly spend
27:37400,000 pounds
27:39on?
27:45Oh,
27:46God,
27:47don't tell me.
27:48My dream turnip.
27:51Baldrick,
27:52how did you
27:52manage to find
27:53a turnip
27:54that cost
27:54400,000 pounds?
27:57Well,
27:57I had to haggle.
28:02This is the
28:03worst moment
28:03of my entire life.
28:05I spent my
28:07last penny
28:08on a cat-skin
28:09wind-cheater.
28:11I'd just
28:11broken a
28:12priceless turnip.
28:15And now
28:16I'm about to be
28:16viciously slaughtered
28:18by a naked
28:19Tunisian
28:19sock merchant.
28:22All I can say,
28:23Baldrick,
28:24is this.
28:24It's the last time
28:26I dabble in
28:26politics.
28:27еюсь,
28:32I淋行
28:33I
28:37I
28:39I
28:40I
28:40I
28:41I
28:41I
28:43I
28:43I
28:44I
28:44I
28:44I
28:44I
28:44I
28:44I
28:45I
28:45I
28:45Grazie a tutti.
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