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Blackadder (1986) - Stagione 2
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #subita
Ambientata all'epoca del regno di Elisabetta I. Il protagonista è Lord Edmund Blackadder (interpretato da Rowan Atkinson), un nobile squattrinato, cinico e astuto che cerca di ingraziarsi la potente e lunatica sovrana, rischiando spesso di venire decapitato. Il suo servitore è Baldrick, un misero e stupido omuncolo che cerca di toglierlo dai guai con sghembi piani, stupidi ed inattuabili
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #subita
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04:22lost his wallet
04:30William Greaves
04:31born 1513 in Chelmsford
04:34with the love of Christ
04:35died 1563
04:37in agony
04:39with a spike up his bottom
04:43tis ever and so
04:45nuncle with the black monks
04:48scream did he
04:49scream and gurgle as they
04:51skewered his cat flap for want of a father
04:53I think you'll get
04:55my message um yes yes
04:57indeed but tell me Bishop let me just
04:59test the water here so to speak
05:01I'm supposing I was to say
05:03to you something like I'm a close
05:05friend of the Queen's and I think she'd
05:07be very interested to hear about you
05:09and Molly and the Wimple
05:10so why don't we just call it quits
05:13a fatso
05:16I would say
05:17firstly the Queen would
05:19not believe you and secondly
05:21you'll regret calling me fatso
05:25later today
05:26ah
05:27I will have my money by even
05:29some tonight or
05:32your bottom will wish it had never been
05:35born
05:42poor Tom's a cold
05:44pity poor Tom
05:46for his nose is frozen
05:48and he does shiver
05:50and
05:50he's mad
05:51oh shut up
05:55so lads
05:56I'm up a certain creek
05:57without a certain instrument
05:59either I raise a thousand pounds by this evening
06:02or I get murdered
06:03what should I do
06:04it's obvious
06:05what
06:05he'll have to get murdered
06:07he'll never raise that sort of money
06:09oh come now
06:11poor trick
06:12a piffling thousand
06:14pay the fellow Edmund
06:16and damn his impudence
06:17I haven't got a thousand
06:18dunghead
06:19I've got 85 quid
06:20in the whole world
06:21but you're always boasting to the Queen
06:23about how wealthy you are
06:25ah
06:25a cunning web of deceit
06:26subtly spun about the court
06:28to improve my standing
06:29unfortunately
06:31what do you mean you've been
06:33dipping
06:35yep
06:35my whole life has been a tissue of whoppers
06:39I consider myself one of England's finest liars
06:42oh my god Percy
06:43a giant hummingbird is about to eat your hat and cloak
06:46oh no
06:46you see I'm terrific
06:52it seems to have gone now
06:56couldn't you just dip into the family fortune
06:58there isn't one
06:59my father blew it all on wine
07:01women and amateur dramatics
07:04at the end he was eking out a living
07:06doing humorous impressions of Anne of Cleves
07:09oh Edmund
07:10I'm sorry
07:10I had no idea
07:12but do not despair
07:14for I have some small savings
07:16carefully harvested from my weekly allowance
07:19set aside against my frail old age
07:22by lucky hapt is just over a thousand me thinks
07:25and has for years been hidden beyond the wit of any thief
07:28in an old sock
07:29under the squeaky floorboard
07:31behind the kitchen dresser
07:36you've seen it
07:37seen it
07:38pinched it
07:39spent it
07:42and the same goes for the two farthings
07:45Boric thinks he's got hidden inside that mouldy potato
07:47oh bloody hell
07:51then
07:52you are doomed
07:55alas
07:58for god's sake
07:59let us
08:00sit upon the carpet
08:03and tell sad stories
08:05certainly not
08:06when lord blackadder is in trouble
08:08he does not sit about
08:09you won't be able to sit about with a spike up your bottom
08:12well I think
08:12but still
08:14I've got 85 quid and that's a start
08:16I'm sure I'll think of something as long as I'm not disturbed
08:20my lord
08:21the queen does demand your urgent presence on pain of death
08:24oh damn
08:25the path of my life
08:26is strewn with cowpats
08:29from the devil's own satanic herd
08:35madam
08:36madam
08:36you sent for me
08:37did I?
08:39I can't remember
08:41I don't know what a scatterbrain I am
08:50well perhaps mum if I might be allowed to withdraw
08:53I have one or two tiny matters to attend to
08:55certainly
09:04that was a terrific joke
09:06oh magnificent
09:08you were so naughty
09:10what my lady?
09:12I do know why I wanted to see you
09:14and I just pretended I didn't
09:16and I told you
09:17and it worked brilliantly didn't it?
09:19it was terrific
09:22I thank god
09:24I wore my corset
09:26because I think my sides have split
09:32so why did you want to see me?
09:36to crack the lovely joke
09:38or perhaps blackadder
09:40you don't think the queen's jokes are funny enough
09:42for you to be troubled with
09:43oh contraire
09:44I'm ecstatic about the whole incident
09:46I only didn't laugh out loud
09:48because I was afraid if I did
09:50my head would have fallen off
09:53if you don't start soon
09:55your head will fall off
10:01now pay Melchie his 85 pounds
10:04and run along
10:0485 pounds?
10:06yes
10:06we had a bet
10:07I said that you wouldn't fall for my trick
10:10and Melchie said you would
10:11because I'm so super
10:12and you're so stupid
10:14you owe him 85 pounds
10:17oh fine
10:18fine
10:19I mean it's only money isn't it?
10:23I cannot believe it
10:25she dragged me all the way
10:27from Billingsgate to Richmond
10:28to play about the weakest practical joke
10:30since Cardinal Wolsey
10:32got his knob out
10:33at Hampton Court
10:36and stood at the end of the passage
10:38pretending to be a door
10:42oh shut up Maldus
10:43you'd laugh at a Shakespeare comedy
10:46Edmund
10:46oh Edmund
10:47I have awaited your return
10:49and thank God you did
10:50for I was just thinking
10:51my God
10:52I die in 12 hours
10:54what I really need now
10:55is a hug from a complete pruss
10:59but fear not
11:00for I have a plan
11:01to save the life
11:02of my dear dear friend
11:03look I'm not interested
11:04in your bloody friends
11:05what about me?
11:07not bad Edmund
11:08this is a good one
11:09oh all right then
11:10what's your big plan
11:12blockhead
11:14I intend to discover
11:15this very afternoon
11:17the secret
11:19of alchemy
11:20the hidden art
11:22of turning
11:23base things
11:24into gold
11:27I see
11:28and the fact that this
11:29secret has eluded
11:30the most intelligent people
11:31since the dawn of time
11:32doesn't dampen your spirits
11:35oh no
11:35I like a challenge
11:39well Baldus
11:40I lost the 85 quid
11:41the grave opens up
11:43before me
11:44like a
11:45big hole
11:46in the ground
11:48what?
11:48I did have one idea
11:50my lord
11:50but
11:51nah it's stupid
11:52what is it?
11:54well
11:54I have heard
11:55there's good money
11:56to be made
11:57down the docks
12:00doing favours
12:02for sailors
12:07favours?
12:08what do you mean?
12:09delivering messages
12:10sewing on buttons
12:11like a
12:11not quite
12:15Baldrick
12:16my lord
12:16are you suggesting
12:18that I become
12:19a rent boy?
12:21oh
12:21good looking bloke
12:22like you
12:23posh accent
12:23nice legs
12:24you can make a bomb
12:25just stick a pink carnation
12:27in your hat
12:28and
12:29make the old sign
12:30I'd rather die
12:32oh fair enough
12:33that's alright
12:33then I'll just
12:33put the kettle on
12:34while we wait
12:35shall I?
12:35no
12:35I don't think of course
12:37with a slight alteration
12:39your sick and sordid
12:40plan
12:41might
12:41just
12:42work
12:50give me a kiss
12:51and I'll give you a penny
12:53a penny?
12:55well alright
12:55let's have it
12:56alright
12:57go on
12:58nothing fancy
12:59just a peck
12:59I'll miss my mum
13:01you see
13:02when I was a little kid
13:03my mother always used to come
13:05get a move on
13:05he's a prostitute
13:06not an agony aunt
13:08go on
13:08please
13:09just a little peck
13:11on the cheek
13:11and say
13:12there there
13:13Arthur
13:14mummy will kiss it better
13:15and you shall have a story
13:17well I don't know
13:19do you do request
13:20what kinky stuff
13:21yeah I'm going
13:23oh go on
13:24please
13:24I miss my mum
13:26so much
13:27I mean she was like
13:29a mum to me
13:31alright
13:31go on
13:32I've forgotten what I'm supposed to say
13:38get out of the way
13:40I'll do it
13:42there there Arthur
13:44mummy kiss it better
13:45and you shall have a story
13:47what kind of a story
13:49well I don't know
13:50one about a squirrel
13:51as it was
13:51and then
13:52Squirry the squirrel
13:53went
13:54neep neep neep
13:56and they all went home
13:58for tea
13:58oh
13:59thanks very much
14:00me old shivering mateys
14:01that was wonderful
14:02now then
14:03how much do you charge
14:05for a good
14:06hard
14:07shag
14:15a thousand pounds
14:17a thousand pounds
14:19you've got to be joking
14:20well I'm sure we could
14:21negotiate
14:24right
14:27so we've got sixpence
14:31yeah
14:31now
14:32all we need to do my lord
14:33is to go down the cockfights
14:35and put it on a bird
14:36that's a dead cert
14:37but has got odds
14:38of forty thousand to one
14:41know you of such a bird
14:42no
14:44but we could make one
14:47no we couldn't
14:48Baldrick
14:49oh god
14:50I suppose you have to be told
14:51sometimes
14:52sit down
14:53what happens is
14:55a mummy bird
14:56and a daddy
14:57who love each other
14:59very much
15:00get certain urges
15:01no no my lord
15:02what I mean is
15:03we could get a mad wild killer bull
15:05and disguise it as a bird
15:09but
15:10it will be such a strange looking bird
15:12that no one will back it
15:13but we'll know it's a killer bull
15:15so we'll put money on it
15:16only we will know
15:18yeah
15:18if we stick enough feathers on it
15:20and hang an egg between its legs
15:21yes all right
15:22all right
15:24a chat with you
15:25and somehow death loses its sting
15:28my lord
15:28the queen does demand
15:30your urgent presence
15:30on pain of death
15:31you're not making any friends here
15:33you do know that
15:34don't you ma'am
15:38madam
15:38you sent for me again
15:40yes Edmund
15:42I wanted to apologise
15:43for the silly trick
15:44I played on you
15:45ah
15:47it was naughty and bad of me
15:48it was my little rosebud
15:50if you weren't quite so big
15:52it'd be time for Mr and Mrs Spank
15:54to pay a short short trip
15:55to Botteyland
15:58thank you
15:59and thank you Edmund
16:01that's all
16:03yes
16:04thanks for coming
16:17that was very funny too
16:20wasn't it
16:22my lady
16:23drag it you all the way across town again
16:26just so sorry for dragging you all the way across town for the first time
16:30it was Melchett's idea
16:32I think it's wonderful
16:34don't you
16:34it's fantastic
16:36Melchett
16:37I prostrate myself
16:38at the feet of the world's greatest living comedian
16:41oh you are super Edmund
16:44oh Edmund
16:46I promised Lord Melchett
16:48that I would play
16:48a shelf halfpenny with him
16:49but we have no coin
16:51do you have a halfpenny?
16:53unfortunately only a sixpence
16:54ma'am
16:55what a shame
16:55oh no
16:56a sixpence would do just as well
16:59oh good
17:03oh gosh
17:04this place sticks like a pair of armoured trousers
17:07after the hundred years war
17:10Baldrick
17:11have you been eating dung again?
17:14my lord
17:14success
17:15what?
17:17after literally
17:18an hour's
17:19sixpence searching
17:20I have succeeded
17:21in creating gold
17:23pure gold
17:24are you sure?
17:25yes my lord
17:29behold
17:32Percy
17:33it's green
17:36that's right my lord
17:37yes Percy
17:38I don't want to be pedantic or anything
17:39but the colour of gold
17:41is gold
17:42that's why it's called gold
17:44what you have discovered
17:45if it has a name
17:47is some
17:48green
17:53oh Edmund
17:55can it be true
17:58that I hold here
17:59in my mortal hand
18:02a nugget
18:03of purest green
18:06indeed you do Percy
18:07except of course
18:08it's not really a nugget
18:09is it
18:09it's more of a splat
18:11well yes
18:12a splat today
18:13but tomorrow
18:14who knows
18:16or dares
18:17to dream
18:18so we three alone
18:20in all the world
18:20can create the finest
18:22green at will
18:23just so
18:25I'm not sure about
18:26camping in Baldrick
18:27actually
18:28of course you know
18:29what your great discovery
18:30means don't you Percy?
18:31perhaps my lord
18:32that you Percy
18:33Lord Percy
18:34are an utter
18:36burke
18:38Baldrick
18:39hello
18:39pack my bags
18:40I'm going to sell the house
18:41what?
18:42there's nothing else for it
18:43I mean
18:43I shall miss the old place
18:45I know
18:46I've had some happy times here
18:48when
18:48when you and Percy
18:49have been out
18:51but needs must
18:52when the devil
18:53vomits into your kettle
18:56Baldrick
18:57go forth into the streets
18:58and let it be known
18:59that Lord Blackadder
18:59wishes to sell his house
19:01Percy
19:02just go forth
19:03into the street
19:06this is the devil
19:08oh dear
19:09but I have to tell you
19:11Mr. Pants
19:12that I've had
19:13an extremely encouraging
19:14nibble
19:15from another client
19:16and I think you know me
19:17well enough to know
19:18that I'm not the sort of man
19:19to ignore
19:19a nibble for long
19:21I noticed some dry rot
19:23in the bedrooms
19:24Timothy
19:24well Mrs. Pants
19:26dry rot is
19:26as dry rot does
19:28stop me if I'm getting
19:29too technical
19:30and the clothes are
19:31perhaps a little uneven
19:32indeed yes madam
19:33and at no extra cost
19:36strange smell
19:37yes that's the servant
19:38he'll be gone
19:40you've really worked out
19:41your banter
19:42haven't you
19:42no not really
19:44this is a different thing
19:45it's spontaneous
19:45and it's called wit
19:47what about the privies
19:49when the master craftsman
19:51who created this home
19:51was looking at the sewage
19:52he said to himself
19:54Romeo
19:54what was his name
19:56Romeo
19:57let's make them
19:58functional
19:59and comfortable
20:00oh well
20:01that seems nice
20:02don't it dear
20:03I think we understand
20:04each other so
20:04so so then
20:05drink
20:06what about
20:07the privies
20:09well
20:10what we're talking about
20:12in um
20:12privy terms
20:14is the very latest
20:15in front wall
20:16fresh air
20:17orifices
20:18combined with a
20:19wide capacity
20:20gutter installation
20:21below
20:22you mean
20:24you crap
20:24out of the window
20:29yes
20:31well
20:31in that case
20:32we'll definitely
20:33take it
20:34I can't stand
20:36those dirty
20:37indoor things
20:40there
20:41that's the lot
20:43he only wanted
20:44to pay a thousand
20:45but I managed to
20:46beat him up
20:46to eleven hundred
20:47Edmund you
20:48wily old
20:49trickster you
20:50oh credit where
20:50credit's to you
20:51I just named the
20:52price it was
20:52ballric who
20:53actually beat him
20:53up
20:56Percy what is that
20:57on the front
20:58of your tunic
21:00it is a brooch
21:01my lord
21:02a brooch
21:03cunningly fashioned
21:04from pure green
21:07it looks like
21:08you've sneezed
21:11it is with
21:12trinkets such
21:13as this brooch
21:13and here
21:14a ring
21:16that I intend
21:17to revive
21:17your fortunes
21:19and buy back
21:19your house
21:20you think there's
21:21a big market
21:22for jewellery
21:22that looks like
21:23snot then
21:24my lord
21:25the eyes are open
21:27the mouth moves
21:28but Mr Brain
21:29has long since
21:30departed
21:30hasn't he
21:32my lord
21:33ah messenger
21:34thank god you came
21:35Percy and I
21:35could not have
21:36waited another
21:37second without you
21:40your majesty
21:41thank god you
21:42were right
21:43terrible news
21:44what
21:45the french
21:46intend to invade
21:47Blackadder
21:47my god
21:48so I need
21:49some money
21:51yes every
21:52nobleman must
21:53pay 500 pounds
21:54towards the
21:55outkeep of the
21:55navies
21:55but we've decided
21:57to make you
21:58a special case
21:58oh thank you
21:59ma'am
21:59Melchie here
22:00hasn't got a
22:01bean so we
22:02thought as you're
22:03so fabulously
22:03wealthy you
22:05could pay for
22:05both
22:05it would be
22:06awfully sweet
22:07unfortunately ma'am
22:08I'm in the middle
22:08of a cash flow
22:09crisis and I
22:10just haven't got
22:10any money on me
22:11but Edmund
22:12sorry
22:15what's that
22:15in your tights
22:16oh good lord
22:20it looks like
22:21just over a
22:22thousand pounds
22:24so it is
22:25I thought you
22:26said you didn't
22:27have any
22:28oh I thought
22:28you meant real
22:29money oh this
22:30is just a bit
22:30of loose change
22:31I must have
22:31left it in my
22:32court piece
22:32when I sent
22:33these tights
22:33the laundry
22:35a thousand
22:36pounds
22:36just loosen
22:37your tights
22:37that is
22:38flat
22:38anyway
22:40have it
22:40over
22:41thanks
22:42bye
22:43bye
22:45well goodbye
22:46indeed
22:48goodbye mum
22:49goodbye
22:50Melchie
22:52goodbye
22:52Nancy
22:55bye
22:56bye
22:56bye
22:57bye
22:57bye
23:13Edmund
23:14it was completely full
23:16it was a brilliant
23:18job Betty
23:19brilliant
23:20and now I'm going to have you executed
23:27it's for taking the mickey out of my beloved Edmund so cruelly
23:32I'm going to knock your block off
23:34but majesty I only have you to please
23:37oh please
23:38I so want to live
23:40oh
23:40oh
23:41oh
23:42oh
23:42oh
23:42oh
23:42oh
23:51praise the lord for the gift of love
23:54after
23:58right baldus I've lost the money
23:59I'm going to have to run away
24:00why my lord
24:01what to avoid these monks of course
24:03there's no point
24:04the black bank's got branches everywhere
24:06oh
24:12if I die baldie
24:13do you think people would remember me
24:15yeah of course they would
24:17yes
24:18I suppose so
24:19yeah people would always be slapping each other on the shoulders and laughing
24:22and saying do you remember old privy breath
24:26do people call me privy breath
24:29yeah
24:29the ones who like you
24:32am I then
24:33not popular
24:34um
24:35well put it this way
24:36when people slip in what dogs have left in the street
24:39they do tend to say
24:40whoops I've trodden an Edmund
24:43bloody cheek
24:44now I'll show them
24:46what have you got a plan my lord
24:47yes I have
24:48and it's so cunning
24:49you could brush your teeth with it
24:51all I need is some feathers
24:53a dress
24:54some oil
24:55an easel
24:56some sleeping draught
24:57lots of paper
24:58a prostitute
24:59and the best portrait painter in England
25:01I'll get them right away my lord
25:04my lord
25:05the most famous portrait painter in England
25:08Mr Leonardo Acropolis
25:11right are you any good
25:13no
25:13I am
25:15a genius
25:17well you better be or you're dead
25:20right
25:20in the bedroom beard face
25:22walrick
25:22get the door
25:23well
25:37the bishop of Bath and Wells
25:40the time has come
25:42black adam
25:42oh hello bit
25:44black monks will have their money
25:47or I will have my fun
25:50you enjoy your work don't you
25:52bits of it yeah
25:53the violent bits
25:54yes
25:55yeah you see
25:57I am a colossal pervert
26:01no form of sexual depravity is too low for me
26:06animal vegetable or mineral
26:08I'll do anything to anything
26:10fine words for a bishop
26:12yes I have to hear the church speaking out for a change on social issues
26:17have you got the money
26:18nope
26:19good
26:20I hate it when people pay up
26:22say your prayers black adam
26:25it's poker time
26:27fine
26:29are you ever concerned that people might find you out
26:32no
26:33I kill I maim I fornicate
26:36but as far as my flock is concerned
26:38my only vice is a little tipple before even song
26:41oh thank you
26:47bend over black adam
26:50this is where you get
26:53drunk by God
26:55not by ball rick actually but the effect is much the same
26:59wakey wakey bish
27:01dear me you clerics really are slugger beds
27:04where am I
27:05I remember
27:07drug
27:08that's right
27:09you should have killed me while you had the chance
27:13you have looked in wonder at your last dawn black adam
27:17well I'm not so sure about that
27:18I did wonder though what people who saw this might think
27:23heavens above what creatures from hell are those
27:27they make an interesting couple don't they I think
27:29I think you probably recognize this huge sweating mound of blubber here
27:34hey
27:35that's so
27:38there's no point anyway we have the preliminary sketches
27:42soon bang off a couple of copies
27:44let's see one for the queen one for the archbishop
27:47a couple kept aside perhaps to form the basis of an exciting exhibition of challenging young artists to work
27:52by the horns of blubber
27:53how did you get me into that position
27:55and it's so beautifully framed don't you think
27:58which is ironic really because that's exactly what's happened to you
28:02you've been never have I encountered such corrupt and foul minded perversity
28:08have you ever considered a career in the church
28:12no I can never get used to the underwear
28:14and what I could use though is it say 1100 pounds to buy back my house 4000 pounds to cover
28:19some sundry expenses
28:2110 shillings for the two doors and let's say threepence for a celebratory slap a binge at Mrs. Miggins pie
28:27shop
28:27yes yes but first one question
28:31who is the second figure
28:34who could you have got to have performed such deeds
28:37to have gone lower that man has ever gone
28:39to have plunged the depths of degradation
28:42just in order to save your filthy life
28:50Percy may I introduce his grace
28:53the bishop of Barton Wells
28:54your grace Lord Percy Percy heir to the duchy of Northumberland
29:00hello
29:03it was lovely working with you
29:09take heed the moral of this tale
29:12be not a borrower or lender
29:16and if your finances do fail
29:19make sure your banker's not a bender
29:23black adder black adder
29:27he trusted in the church
29:30black adder black adder
29:34it left him in the match
29:37black adder black adder
29:41his life was almost done
29:44black adder black adder
29:48black adder black adder black adder
29:51black adder black adder
29:52black adder black adder
29:52black adder black adder
29:52black adder black adder black adder
29:52black adder black adder black adder
29:52black adder black adder black adder
29:53black adder black adder black adder
29:53black adder black adder black adder
29:53black adder black adder black adder black adder
29:54Grazie.
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