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00:03why huh why would you take Joanne's card what I could take her card you never know when I'm
00:08gonna need some dental insurance you know there's a reason she's your ex-wife hey Deb you know I
00:18know it's none of my business but I cannot believe that you took that card weren't you trying to
00:25make it work with Amy I thought that you were happy with Amy and unhappy with Joanne the
00:31Nutcracker you know what you already do what you want me all right listen up your mother wants to
00:43I don't know I said announce me Frank what kind of announcing is that just do it everything has
00:52to be a big deal you have to ruin everything is that why you're here why don't you jump up
00:57a cow
01:11forever we are all going to Italy what for two weeks how you see it is a big deal as
01:20you know my birthday is
01:22coming up and I have secretly been putting aside money for 45 years and this is what I want I
01:30want
01:30half that money I want all that money that money's mine quiet so I've been in touch with my mother's
01:36cousin Coletta who lives in a little village outside of Rome and we're invited and I'm paying the whole
01:45family me too me too everyone you know maybe I can tell my lady troubles to the pool
02:08yeah listen listen stop dancing stop stop listen you understand that this is a vacation with my
02:14family okay don't we want a vacation from my family they're gonna bother me anyway I'll take bothered in
02:20Italy we were gonna go to the Jersey Shore Italy free trip to Italy I don't know I'm not really
02:36interested in other cultures okay you know in the past your dumbness has gotten in the way of just
02:50like a few things that I've wanted to do the book club theater having conversations but I just want to
02:58say this one thing and we won't have to discuss it anymore you're not blowing this for me pal
03:05we're going to get away
03:08I'm so happy
03:38so
03:48so
03:48so
03:48so
03:48so
04:12I can't believe that we're here.
04:14Oh, ma lo sai che sono pensate 60 anni da quando ci siamo, visto l'ultima volta.
04:22Mi ricordo che eri una bambina molto esigente.
04:26Ti ricordi il mio Dario?
04:28Sì.
04:29Morto.
04:29Da più di 40 anni.
04:32Assomiglia a Burt Lancaster, è vero?
04:35Dario, Dario, come Burt Lancaster.
04:39Who's that?
04:40Ah, quello è il mio secondo marito, Giorgio.
04:43Oh.
04:45Ah, lui non lo so a chi assomiglia.
04:48È bravo con il legno.
04:50Ah, è ora di mangiare, avrete fame.
04:55We actually had a lot to eat on the plane.
04:58Adesso mangiate.
05:02Oh, look, this is chocolate.
05:05Oh, my God, this is amazing.
05:08Oh, I can't taste anything.
05:11I got a coal from that damn air conditioner on the van.
05:13What is it in there?
05:15Adesso mangia.
05:18Jeez, a loop.
05:20Hai cucinato tu questo?
05:22Certo.
05:23I married the wrong broad.
05:27You have a lovely home.
05:32Venite, venite e vi faccio vedere il resto.
05:55Oh, this is wonderful.
05:58Oh, I love this.
05:58Okay, here we go.
06:02Is it?
06:05What, Ray?
06:07Nothing.
06:10I've got more room in coach.
06:15Oh, my God, look at this.
06:16Look at this.
06:17What?
06:19Oh, my God.
06:26I'm gonna cry.
06:41I'm gonna cry.
07:02Can you believe this?
07:05It's nice, the water, yeah.
07:09That room's kind of small, though, don't you think?
07:13I mean, we're gonna be jammed in there with the kids for two weeks.
07:17Did you look at the place, really?
07:20It's all kind of old.
07:25It's, it's just, this, this is not the ideal vacation for a guy who works like a dog his whole
07:32year.
07:36It's chilly now.
07:37I'm going in.
07:38My nose is running here.
07:48Grazie, Giorgio.
07:50È buonissimo.
07:52I speak English a little.
07:57Oh, yeah, hey, beautiful.
08:01I'm glad you're here.
08:03It's better.
08:07Not so much meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh.
08:13What?
08:36Giorgio, che cosa stai facendo?
08:38Hai versato tutto sulla tavola, ma sei un porco!
08:41Sì, cara, scusami.
08:50All right, everyone, now we don't have time to toddle.
08:54Oh, we've got to start sightseeing.
08:56We're gonna stick to my itinerary.
08:58Get up, Frank.
08:59Come on, everyone.
09:00We're gonna have fun.
09:01Fun with Grandma.
09:02Come on, come on.
09:04Woo, here we go.
09:06She did pay for the trip.
09:11And now we pay.
09:17Who wants the best ice cream in the world?
09:20Come on, cheap foreign napkins.
09:27Hey.
09:30Come on, what are you all mopey about?
09:32I don't know.
09:33I can't enjoy myself because of my dilemma.
09:36It's not a dilemma.
09:38It is a dilemma, Raymond.
09:39You're not the only one with dilemmas.
09:42I got Amy, but I keep thinking about Joanne.
09:44I can't sort out my feelings.
09:46And I'm in the most gorgeous place in the world, and I'm sitting here next to you.
09:50Robbie, here's your piece.
09:52Raymond, you sure you don't want anything?
09:53No, I can't taste anything, Ma.
09:56Don't be sick here.
10:00You know, I called Joanne today.
10:02What?
10:03What, from here?
10:04Oh, what's wrong with you?
10:05I hung up when she answered.
10:06I couldn't talk to her.
10:08Cost me 20 bucks.
10:10I'm a loser.
10:14It's just that, I wanna...
10:18Holy Mother of God.
10:24This is, this is a...
10:27It's as if I've never tasted a peach before.
10:31Mmm.
10:33Mmm.
10:33It's as if you've never been in public before.
10:35Would you stop it?
10:36Excuse me.
10:37Do you want something to have?
10:39Yeah.
10:58Buon giorno.
11:00Buon giorno.
11:02You'd like something to drink?
11:05Si.
11:09Vivo nada?
11:12Si.
11:20Excuse me.
11:34What the hell are you doing?
11:36Ray, it's a thing. It's a thing.
11:38You know what Dad always talks about, the Thunderbolt.
11:40Who, the gelato girl?
11:42Don't call her that.
11:44What are you talking about?
11:45That's what she is, all right?
11:46I don't know her long-term goals.
11:48Excuse me.
11:49Oh, oh, oh, oh, my lord.
11:54I'm gonna go blow my nose in the tablecloth.
12:01So, speak English?
12:03A little.
12:09So, you're in gelato?
12:11Yes, for now.
12:13Stefania!
12:14I think your boss wants you back.
12:19I better go.
12:20Wait.
12:21Stefania!
12:22All right, pal.
12:24Peace.
12:26Gotta learn how to chill out a little.
12:28What's with this guy?
12:29He's my father.
12:31He's my father.
12:32Oh.
12:33It's nice.
12:36It's a hard worker.
12:38I will see you again.
12:41See me again?
12:43Oh.
12:45Oh.
12:46Yes.
12:47Stefania!
12:50Ciao.
12:51Ciao.
13:03Hey, sexy.
13:06Hey.
13:06What do you want?
13:07Hey, listen.
13:08Rome today.
13:09Can you believe it's only a half an hour away?
13:11And Colette is gonna watch the kids.
13:13Oh, great.
13:14I hate this damn thing.
13:17Ah!
13:19This spray has no pressure.
13:22It's like a third world country.
13:26Stupid place.
13:27Would you lighten up?
13:29Look where we are.
13:30I am looking.
13:32Taking a bath like Columbus.
13:38How about that Giorgio guy?
13:41What?
13:42I saw him drinking my Listerine.
13:43That's what.
13:46This place is annoying.
13:49You gotta change money.
13:50That's a scam.
13:52Nobody sees that?
13:53Nothing on Sierra.
13:55Say what.
13:56Say what you want about New Jersey.
13:59No.
14:04Hi!
14:04Hi!
14:06Hi!
14:08Oh, my God!
14:10Oh, God!
14:11Oh, God!
14:12Hi!
14:13Hi!
14:14Hi!
14:16Hi!
14:18Hi!
14:20Hi!
14:24Alza il braccio!
14:25No, stop hitting me, all right?
14:28You can't do this to me, I'm an American.
14:36Alza il braccio!
14:39Alza il braccio!
14:44This wasn't in the brochure.
14:55Oh, look how cute!
15:01Okay!
15:02We're all getting in that.
15:06Good luck, sweetie.
15:17I don't think I'm going to sit in there either.
15:20You can sit on top and push with your arms.
15:29Oh, hello there.
15:32Where'd you go?
15:34I was, you know, going to go to Rome, look around, roam around.
15:40Come with me, I can show you.
15:43Okay.
15:44Not you.
15:46Get back.
15:47Get back!
15:49I'll show you Roma and the Lago di Bracciano, where I grow up.
15:53Okay?
15:54Yes, very nice.
15:56Hey.
15:58Hurry up here before my father sees him.
16:03Robert, I don't understand.
16:05What is this?
16:06This is luck.
16:07Toots, over here.
16:09Ciao!
16:10Ciao!
16:11Ciao!
16:15Look at this.
16:16Robert gets the gelato girl, and I get hosed down by Mrs. Mussolini.
16:20What is this?
16:20Good on you.
16:40Look at this.
16:41You're the one.
16:42You're the one.
16:44You're the one.
16:44Who is it?
16:44You're the one.
18:15Sorry, I asked.
18:15Okay, come on, we're going up.
18:17Do we have to, really?
18:19Ray, this is the Spanish steps.
18:21Where's the Spanish elevator?
18:23I'll go with you.
18:24Thank you, Marie.
18:25Only you would think of these as stairs.
18:28What are they, then?
18:30Hey, let me carry that stuff for you, Cotamia.
18:33Thank you, Frank.
18:40One, two, three, four, five, six, six, seven.
18:55Excuse me?
19:00Nice hair.
19:03All right, let's go.
19:05How beautiful, girl.
19:07Bye-bye.
19:08Bye to them.
19:09Why not?
19:09They were very nice.
19:11Very nice.
19:11You talk to them.
19:13They're going to follow you home.
19:14Oh, don't you stop.
19:15No, you stop.
19:16You like that.
19:17Hey, catch up, oh, gee.
19:20Listen, you better watch yourself, okay?
19:22They got one thing on their mind.
19:23That's how Italian men are.
19:26Not all of them.
19:30Hey, what?
19:31What's that supposed to mean?
19:35You got nothing better to do but old women?
19:39You start working on a stand-up shower.
19:50Anyway, so the kids want to sleep with Grandma and Deborah,
19:54so I'm going to sleep here with you, okay?
19:57No problem.
20:01Just don't hog the covers and it'll be an upgrade for me.
20:06You getting undressed or what?
20:08I'll make a deal with you.
20:10I'll take something off, you put something on.
20:16Good night there, son.
20:18Yeah.
20:19All right.
20:22Good night.
20:30It's a beautiful place, huh?
20:34Oh.
20:35Yeah.
20:36Yeah, good night.
20:41I'll tell you.
20:43When your mother told me she'd been hiding that money from me,
20:47I was thinking what dress to lay her out in.
20:56But now I'm here.
20:59In friggin' Italy.
21:03It's like a dream.
21:07I'm from Limbrook.
21:08I worked my whole life.
21:10I never thought I'd be in such a place.
21:16I was just wondering, could your leg be in another place?
21:28I happen to be serious.
21:31All right.
21:32All right.
21:32Okay.
21:36No, I know, I, I complain about stuff and all that, but I'm a lucky man.
21:49I'm a very lucky man.
22:00I'm a very lucky man.
22:15So, should we go see the forum now?
22:17Oh, you know, actually, I could use a little break, Marie.
22:20But it's right over there.
22:21I know, and I really want to go see it, but...
22:24But if we don't stick to my schedule, we won't see it.
22:27And we did stop for your other thing before.
22:30My other thing before?
22:32You mean the bathroom?
22:34Forty minutes.
22:36First of all, you're timing me now?
22:39And second of all, I do not take 40 minutes.
22:42Yes, dear, but when you go, everyone else has to go.
22:44Okay, you know, Marie, it's just that I need a little time to myself.
22:49That's all.
22:50I mean, we have been doing everything you've wanted to do, right?
22:53Well, are you saying that you feel obligated because I'm paying for this trip?
22:56Because that's not what I want.
22:58No, of course not, and I am really grateful.
23:01Really?
23:05Ray.
23:06No comment.
23:08Ray, say something.
23:10I said something, no comment.
23:12Ray.
23:13What?
23:14You want me to say something?
23:15I'll say something.
23:16This is what you get, okay?
23:18Because I told you it was going to get like this, but can you ever listen to me, huh?
23:21No, no, no, I'm just dumb Ray who likes New Jersey.
23:24You know, I wish I was in New Jersey right now,
23:25because I saw this coming, all right?
23:27I just didn't think it would take so long
23:28or I would get sick from hot and then cold
23:31and then hot and then cold
23:32and get a Mama Leone hand wash
23:34or have to sleep with my father.
23:37Oh, why don't you stuff it, Ray?
23:38Your parents are fine compared to you.
23:40Me?
23:41Me what?
23:42What the hell did I do?
23:43At least they're trying to have a good time.
23:44You've been nothing but a grumpy pain in the ass the whole trip.
23:47What's right here?
23:48It's the Coliseum.
23:50I'm a pain in the ass.
23:51I'm a pain in the ass?
23:53Fine.
23:54I will not be a pain in anyone's ass anymore.
24:00And I'm not sleeping with you anymore.
24:04What are you looking at?
24:14Thanks for all the gelato, Stefania.
24:17All the gelato you want.
24:20You have a great life.
24:23I'm glad you like it.
24:26I like everything.
24:29I like everything.
24:54I fully intend to pay for this.
25:07Hey.
25:09What's your problem?
25:13Nothing.
25:13Nothing.
25:14I'm just ready to go home.
25:16That's all.
25:18Oh.
25:25You got more Listerine?
25:32I told you to wear a hat.
25:33Why can't you listen to me?
25:35All right.
25:36Enough.
25:36I'm fine.
25:37You're fine.
25:37You look like the top of a police car.
25:40Put some cream on that.
25:41No.
25:42Frank, you put some cream on that head right now.
25:44You're going to be in pain later.
25:47I've been in pain since the wedding.
25:51He refuses to accept the fact that he has no hair.
25:57What?
25:59What's the matter, dear?
26:02Oh.
26:04I know what it is.
26:05It's Deborah.
26:08Oh, please.
26:10You know what you and I need?
26:12A nice long walk.
26:13That would be so wonderful, wouldn't it?
26:23Hey, Ma.
26:24Do you know if we have any mob connections here in town?
26:27Because I might need a little help.
26:28What's the matter?
26:29You look so terrible.
26:30Tuck in your shirt.
26:31No.
26:31No.
26:31I'm fine, Ma.
26:32It's just that his stephanie's father wasn't too thrilled to find me with his daughter.
26:36What?
26:37Now, he's having a vacation.
26:39Oh.
26:41This is wild, isn't it?
26:42I went out the window when Pops went to get a shovel.
26:45Congratulations.
26:47Stefania Fogagnolo.
26:48Oh.
26:48Oh.
26:49Thanks there, Jojo.
26:51Signore Fogagnolo.
26:52He will kill you.
26:55You better stay away from that girl, Robbie.
26:58Yeah, right.
27:00Nothing like this has ever happened to me before.
27:02Hey, Ray, you want to go get a gelato?
27:04I'm not going there with that father.
27:05Come on.
27:07He wants me to beat you to death.
27:10Come on.
27:11Look.
27:11Hey, maybe he'll chase us with a shovel.
27:13Huh?
27:14Come on.
27:14Fratello, we mean.
27:15You know, he calls, he calls.
27:16Get off me.
27:16You're not.
27:17I'm not going there.
27:18Hey, hey, hey.
27:19You got to wake up here, little bro.
27:21Look where you are, man.
27:22You're missing it.
27:30I've never seen him like this, so I'm happy.
27:34I don't like it.
27:38Hi, Daddy.
27:39Hey.
27:40Hey, what do you do?
27:41Feed the ducks or something?
27:43You want to feed them with us tomorrow?
27:44Yeah, maybe.
27:45I don't know.
27:45We'll see.
27:46Yeah, yeah.
27:46Daddy's very busy, you guys.
27:48He really doesn't have time for fun this trip.
27:50He has a lot of moping to do, which is quite timely.
27:53All right, give me a break.
27:55Why don't you give me a break, huh?
27:57I thought that this could be a time for all of us to be together.
28:00All right, listen, I can't do this right now,
28:02because I just promised my mother I would take a walk.
28:08That's true, dear.
28:12Have a nice time.
28:16I'm so glad we could do this, Raymond.
28:19You really seem to need it.
28:22Need what?
28:22What?
28:22This.
28:23Just the two of us walking and talking.
28:26You know, we never get a chance to talk.
28:29You know?
28:30No, not like this.
28:33We rarely get a chance to just talk.
28:36No interruptions, distractions, dip.
28:40Anyway, first of all, I'm feeling a little bit upset about something.
28:44The water is kind of nice, huh?
28:46It's beautiful.
28:47I'm feeling that everyone else seems to think that they have the right to do just exactly what they want
28:52on this trip.
28:54And they don't?
28:55Well, they do.
28:56Of course they do.
28:57But they could at least consult with me first.
29:00I know.
29:01I know he's your father.
29:02Between you and me, I can't take it anymore.
29:05He seems to be having a good time.
29:07What, this morning?
29:08That's finished.
29:09I was, I had the nerve to tell him to wear a hat.
29:14I begged him 50 times, please, please, get someone to fix the garage door.
29:19You know what he says?
29:20I can do it myself.
29:21And of course you know what happens.
29:22He doesn't do it.
29:24It's been three months.
29:26Anybody could get into that garage if they wanted.
29:29Please.
29:33What are you stopping for?
29:35Nothing, no.
29:36I've just never seen them like this before.
29:39Pretty.
29:40You see the way around me?
29:41You look at these?
29:42I've seen flowers.
29:44I've got this.
29:45I can't talk to him.
29:48Oh, there's a butcher shop.
29:49I've got to run in there, see, and get some meat for the barbecue later.
29:53You want to come in with me?
29:54No, no, no, go.
29:55Go ahead.
29:55All right, I'll be right back.
29:56And don't forget what we were talking about.
29:58Okay.
30:24Oh, come passi la palla?
30:25Oh, come passi la palla?
30:28Yeah.
30:28Hey, guys.
30:30Non con le mani.
30:35Non sai giocare.
30:37Oh, come on, I'm in it.
30:38Yeah, there you go.
30:40Che mornato.
30:41You want to play a little game, huh?
30:55Che mornato.
31:01Oh, ciao.
31:03Hey, ciao.
31:04Yeah.
31:05Yeah.
31:22Pizza.
31:23Yeah, it's pizza.
31:23Okay, give me one.
31:25Can I get one?
31:30Yeah.
31:31Yeah.
31:38Wow.
31:39It's okay?
31:41Yeah.
31:42Yeah.
31:42I had a cold.
31:45But it's gone now.
31:47This is awesome.
31:49Hmm?
31:50Awesome.
31:51Awesome.
31:52You know awesome?
31:54Magnifico.
31:54Oh, grazie.
31:56Griego.
31:59Oh, this is like the best pizza I ever had, man.
32:02You like more?
32:03Hell yes, I want more.
32:05You made this?
32:07I make this.
32:10So you're like a genius then.
32:16Oh, all done.
32:19I've got some chops for later.
32:21You're having pizza now?
32:23Uh-huh.
32:24Well, will you be able to eat your lunch?
32:26Yeah, sure.
32:27You want a bite?
32:28No, no, no.
32:28Oh, good.
32:30Come on.
32:31Come on.
32:32Let's go up this way.
32:34I forgot what I was saying.
32:37How you can't talk to anyone but me.
32:39Oh, yes, right.
32:40Because I mean nobody has values communicating anymore.
32:45To me, that's the most important thing.
32:47Don't you agree with me?
32:48Mm-hmm.
32:48Absolutely.
32:49Oh, Rayman, this is so nice.
32:53Did I tell you the other thing your father did?
32:55No.
32:56Go ahead.
32:57Well, I had forbid him to use my cutting board.
33:07Hello, dear.
33:07Hey, Marie.
33:09Have you seen Rayman?
33:10Where is he?
33:11Don't know and don't care.
33:13He's going to drip this entire vacation.
33:15I've decided I'm not going to let him ruin it for me.
33:17I had a lovely walk with him this morning.
33:21It's nice that you two have each other.
33:28Stupid, stinking hump.
33:32Like that?
33:35I got a million of them.
33:38Unbelievable.
33:41Unbelievable.
33:53You don't see my daughter no more.
33:59You know, sir, if I may, let's sit down.
34:06Please, please, can we sit down?
34:09Please, please, please, let's sit down.
34:21Signor Fogagnolo,
34:24now I speak in Italian.
34:29I understand how you feel.
34:31I feel like a child,
34:34I'm so thankful for you.
34:37I want you to know that I'm a person of honor.
34:43I come of a family of honor.
34:46Ah, your mother's ass!
35:04I don't like you.
35:12Ciao, tutti! Ciao!
35:14Ciao!
35:15Hello, everybody!
35:17Beautiful day, huh?
35:20Oh, look what I have.
35:24Senora, polis.
35:26For you, you can have those.
35:28Here. You can have one of those.
35:31Beautiful. See how they wrap them?
35:34Mom!
35:36And Aunt Coletta!
35:39For you.
35:40What are you doing?
35:42Oh, you look good.
35:44Come here. I want to talk.
35:45Come here.
35:49Listen.
35:52Um, I know you wanted to talk to me before, and I know what you're gonna say.
35:56No, you don't.
35:57Well, whatever you were gonna say, you were right.
35:59I was wrong and you were right.
36:00And I'm not just saying that so we don't have to talk about it anymore, like at home.
36:04It's just, there's something about this place.
36:06Do you get that?
36:07There's like a feeling here.
36:11I don't know how to describe it, but it's more simple.
36:16The way the whole place shuts down in the middle of the day so the people can just, you know,
36:20enjoy the day.
36:22It's like they know how to live here.
36:24Don't you think?
36:25Don't you think it's kind of beautiful here?
36:28Yes.
36:29Okay.
36:30So we agreed.
36:31And the history.
36:32I was thinking, thousands of years here.
36:35We got no history at home.
36:37Everything was built last week.
36:40Where have you been?
36:42I had a bike ride.
36:43No.
36:44Today.
36:45I mean, this whole trip.
36:47Okay.
36:47So what do you want me to say?
36:50Your hair does look nice though.
36:53So now you're being romantic.
36:55Look, I don't know what I'm being, but we got a couple of days left.
36:58You want to enjoy it or you want to mope around?
37:18Are we happy?
37:30Do you want to go on?
37:37We love the unlucky shorten?
37:38We love the loser together until you come here.
37:39And prior to, we thought that too.
37:39Bye.
39:10Okay, that's everything.
39:14Oh, God.
39:17Look at this.
39:20What are you rebelling against?
39:22What do you got?
39:23Yeah.
39:24You see?
39:24They rode one.
39:25That was fun.
39:27Yeah, I gotta get one of these.
39:30All right, fun's over here.
39:31Time to go home.
39:33Thanks for everything there, Giorgio.
39:36Yeah, I go.
39:37I'm completely consumed.
39:41Arrivederci, Colette.
39:43Muari.
39:46Are you still a child?
39:48Always.
39:49Come on.
39:57Ben, Ben.
40:02Hey.
40:07Bye-bye.
40:10listen anytime you want to come to America and give me a shower it's fine
40:16good job I'll see you okay
40:23no nothing it's just
40:29stavo comment and the hora a cap here in questo posto
40:36ed è già finito tutto così ha detto il mio Dario poi è morto
40:52vivi la tua vita
40:56hey where's Robert
41:03oh boy Stefania
41:06must you be leaving so soon
41:09yes yes I must
41:12I will miss you
41:14me too
41:16maybe you can come and visit me in America sometime
41:25and your father-in-law for laughs
41:30here for you
41:31oh you don't have to pay me
41:34you throw a coin in the water
41:36it means someday you return to Lago de Tracciano
41:41you would like that
41:42would I like that
41:46oh
42:07like credit cards
42:11grab these checks
42:15bad
42:22just a nod
42:25okay all right everybody I'm sorry
42:28me despiace
42:32thank you okay
42:34hey did you say goodbye to gelato Lola Brigida
42:37all right
42:38good
42:38thank you
42:41vi voglio bene
42:42ci vediamo presto
42:45venite in America
42:46si si si voi portate qui ciao
42:49grazie
42:50grazie
42:50grazie
43:16grazie
43:16Oh, mamma, I want to give you everything.
43:21That's the moon and the sea, mama mia, I want to give you everything.
43:28That's the moon and the sea, mama mia, I want to give you everything.
43:39Oh, mamma.
43:40Sir, can you keep it down? Some of the other passengers are starting to complain.
43:44Oh, oh, sorry.
44:36Oh, oh, sorry.
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