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00:30You're doing it again, Gordon.
00:32Sorry?
00:33Put your fingers on the table.
00:35I'm sorry, darling. I'm just a little bit distracted at the moment.
00:38These figures are a bit puzzling.
00:40I mean, here we have a leisure centre designed to provide recreation
00:43for anything up to 2,000 people a day.
00:46Do you know how many people we added over the weekend?
00:49Could you please stop doing that, Gordon?
00:5243.
00:55Gordon!
00:56I'm sorry, darling, was I?
00:58It's just that centre cost nearly two and three quarter million pounds.
01:01If only 43 people want to use it,
01:03someone somewhere is doing something wrong, my darling.
01:05If only I could put my finger on what it was.
01:08Shouldn't we be going?
01:11No, I have to go over this with my head to the department
01:13so we can't thrash something out.
01:14I've just been reading about a woman who murdered her husband
01:17for clicking his teeth.
01:20Clicking his teeth?
01:21Yes.
01:22Apparently, he did it every mealtime for 30 years
01:25until one morning, at breakfast,
01:27she dropped a marble pastry board on his head.
01:29Imagine casserole his body in the agar.
01:33Just for clicking his teeth, eh?
01:35Apparently.
01:36Are you going to be long?
01:38What?
01:38You said I could have the car after you this morning.
01:40It's ten to nine.
01:41Right, well, I think I'm ready.
01:43Briefcase, keys, wallet.
01:45Let's go, Jo.
01:46Right.
01:47Oh!
01:48What is it?
01:49Sharpie a minute.
01:49Just got to clean my shoes.
01:51Oh.
01:56Do you want yours?
01:57What?
01:58Umbrella.
01:59No, thank you.
02:00They did say occasional showers.
02:02I'll risk it.
02:04I'll get it anyway, just in case you change your mind.
02:28Strange, isn't it, murdering someone
02:29because they click their teeth?
02:31Is it?
02:32Although, I was thinking,
02:34it's often the little things
02:35that really get under your skin, isn't it?
02:37Yes.
02:37Yes, it is.
02:40Still, never mind.
02:41Let's go, go, go.
02:50These brakes feel a bit spongy.
02:52When you use it, darling,
02:53press harder on the pedal.
02:56Hello.
02:57I've heard my wife's been involved in a car accident
02:59and I just wondered,
03:01is she?
03:02Did she say anything about the car?
03:06No.
03:07No, of course, very painful, yeah.
03:08Well, if you are,
03:09perhaps you could ask her about the car.
03:12Well, it's just,
03:12it's had a re-spray recently.
03:14I'm a bit worried about it.
03:16Right, thanks.
03:17Bye.
03:18I don't know, doctors, no time for anything.
03:21Right, where were we?
03:23Your graph, Mr. Brittus.
03:25Right, now, if we're agreed that attendance has been a little disappointing lately,
03:29my feeling is we should take steps now before this becomes a trend.
03:34Ha!
03:34Oh!
03:36Sorry, Mr. Brittus,
03:37it's the pollen count.
03:38Anything above 105,
03:40I tend to generate a lot of extra diesel fluid.
03:43You see,
03:43if my commitment is to make this centre the hub of the community
03:46and see it constantly hustling and bustling with life and activity,
03:49how many have we got in today?
03:51Seven, Mr. Brittus.
03:52Six.
03:53Four of those are trapped in a lift from yesterday.
03:56Well, if this is the situation,
03:58I think I'm entitled to turn to my heads of departments
04:01and quite simply say,
04:02why?
04:05Well?
04:06I think it's mainly two reasons.
04:08I think it's partly the fault of the public
04:09and partly, I'm afraid to say,
04:11the fault of our staff.
04:12Ha!
04:14Biscuit, Laura.
04:15Um, no.
04:17So the first problem is,
04:19do the public know we're here?
04:21There's a very big notice outside, Mr. Brittus.
04:24And air signs all the way from the bypass.
04:26Mm.
04:27I was thinking more of the way we persuade people
04:29that they should be coming in to use the facilities,
04:32which is why I've come up with this series of special offers.
04:36Ha!
04:37Oh.
04:42Tissue, Colin?
04:43No, no, no, thank you, Mr. Brittus.
04:48I've promised myself
04:49that I would only use unbleached, recycled paper.
04:53I see.
04:54Unfortunately, they'd run out this morning
04:56if I'm down to the last one.
04:59Anyway, my...
05:00Which I think...
05:01...is what's been giving me this cold saw.
05:04Anyway, my intention
05:07is to display these around the centre,
05:09and I simply wondered what you thought of them.
05:11All criticism gratefully received.
05:15Well...
05:15Yes, Laura?
05:17Well, I wondered if they weren't,
05:19you know, a bit complicated.
05:21Complicated?
05:22Yes.
05:23Not quite with you.
05:25Well, take this one,
05:27Calling All Swimmers, for instance.
05:28I mean, it says here that
05:29anyone not in full-time education
05:31who uses the pool for more than three
05:33but less than five sessions on a weekday
05:35is entitled to a third off the prize
05:37of any general session at the weekend.
05:39Seems a very tempting offer to me.
05:41Yes.
05:42Just not quite as snappy
05:43as two for the price of one.
05:45We cannot afford to give two tickets
05:47for the price of one, Laura.
05:48That's my exact point.
05:49We're running a business here.
05:50God knows,
05:51if you've only got seven people in,
05:52they all go half price.
05:53OK, OK, I understand.
05:54Mr. Goodness,
05:55I've been thinking,
05:57if people aren't coming in
05:58to the centre,
06:00how are they going to see the notices?
06:03Perhaps you'd like to pour us
06:05some more coffee, Colin.
06:06Right, Mr. Goodness.
06:07Now, the flip side of the coin
06:09is what happens to customers
06:11once they come into the centre
06:12and how they're treated by our staff.
06:15I think they do their best.
06:16Possibly.
06:17Let's put it another way.
06:18Do you know the health and fitness club
06:20in Icarus Road?
06:22The place with the purple door.
06:24That's right.
06:25I walked past it the other day
06:26and it was packed at lunchtime.
06:29Well, yes, but...
06:30Mostly businessmen, too.
06:33Paying £75 an hour with extras.
06:36It's not going to be easy
06:37to compete with the extras,
06:38Mr. Butters.
06:40Be positive, Laura.
06:41Let's make it our job
06:42to find out what those extras are
06:44and provide them.
06:46Better and more often.
06:47I just don't think our staff
06:48are going to be prepared to...
06:49That's the problem, Laura.
06:51Cut!
06:54What we need is some sort of incentive
06:56for you to make our staff
06:58rather more courteous and thoughtful.
07:00Which is why I think
07:01the public thank you very much indeed, Colin.
07:03So what I've decided to do
07:04is present this.
07:09That's right.
07:11The Whitford-Newtown Leisure Centre
07:12Staff Courtesy Challenge Cup.
07:15That's right.
07:16I propose to present it to someone each week
07:18and they get to take it home.
07:19And people will want to do that
07:21while I'm...
07:22It's public recognition, Laura.
07:24Of course they will.
07:25They can put it on their mantelpieces
07:26and when the neighbours come in
07:27they can say,
07:28that's the courtesy cup I won at work.
07:30Which is a rather nice thing
07:31to be able to say.
07:33Uh-huh.
07:34They can't keep it permanently, of course,
07:36but there's nothing to stop
07:36from winning it the following week.
07:38It's a bit like your star system, isn't it?
07:41What?
07:41The punctuality trophy.
07:43It's not like the star system at all, Laura.
07:45Those stars are awarded
07:46for efficient and committed work.
07:47And the punctuality trophy
07:49isn't even a cup, Colin.
07:50It's a shield.
07:50This is a cup.
07:51Oh, yes.
07:52I see.
07:52Anyway, I want you to give me
07:54a name of someone in your department
07:55who's been particularly helpful
07:57and a rough outline of the reasons
07:59in, say, no more than 500 words.
08:01At the staff meeting every Monday
08:03I will tell everyone
08:05what he, or indeed she, Laura, did
08:07and make the award, OK?
08:10Yes, Mr. British.
08:11I think it's a rather neat way
08:13of rewarding good work
08:14and encouraging others
08:15to strive for the same sort of standards,
08:17don't you?
08:26It's not awfully good coffee, is it?
08:29Mine's got bits floating around in it.
08:54Oh, that's marvellous news.
08:56Right, I'll just finish putting these up
08:58and I'll be right down.
09:01What is that?
09:03What?
09:04Spangles wrapper.
09:05How can we attract people
09:06to a centre that's knee-deep
09:07in sweet papers?
09:08It's a bit extreme there as well.
09:10It gets worse and worse.
09:12It really does, Angie.
09:14Patsy leaving something like that
09:15lying around.
09:16Look at it.
09:16Right across the gangway.
09:17It could have killed someone.
09:19This is just the kind of thing
09:20I'm trying to avoid, Angie.
09:22It really is.
09:23How can we improve
09:24those attendance figures
09:24and we send members
09:25of the public
09:26headlong down stairwells?
09:31There you are, my darling.
09:33How's the car?
09:34I've had an x-ray.
09:36They say it's only
09:37a simple break.
09:38Really?
09:39That's good news.
09:39Just a break, eh?
09:40That's very good news.
09:42The car will be ready
09:43on Thursday.
09:44Not till Thursday?
09:46Apparently,
09:46the brakes were completely gone.
09:48That'll teach me
09:49to buy, British, eh?
09:50It's a little
09:51walking home this evening.
09:53They say that the
09:53brake fluid pipes
09:54are being cut.
09:56Cut?
09:56Deliberately.
09:57With a hacksaw.
09:59You mean to say
10:00they thought someone
10:01was trying to...
10:01Exactly.
10:02But that's ludicrous.
10:03Is it, Gordon?
10:04Of course it is, darling.
10:06Who'd want to murder you, eh?
10:09But how could I be
10:10pregnant again, Doctor?
10:12I only had the baby
10:13six weeks ago.
10:15Yes, well,
10:16I thought if I was
10:18breastfeeding,
10:18I didn't have to use any.
10:20Are you all right
10:21to the heart of the night, Carol?
10:22Yes, fine, Mr. British.
10:24Oh, look,
10:24can I bring in
10:25another specimen?
10:27I still think
10:28we should have gone
10:29to the tennis club.
10:29But this is perfect.
10:30Look, it's brand new
10:32and it's half the price.
10:33Yeah, I know, I know.
10:34But I think there's a snag.
10:35Morning, gentlemen.
10:37Morning.
10:38Well, 12 of our courts
10:39are free.
10:39Which one would you like?
10:40What did I tell you?
10:42We'll have this one.
10:43Hi.
10:44Well, I've got a father
10:45says we never get to play.
10:46What are you talking about?
10:47What's going to stop?
10:49Excuse me, gentlemen.
10:51I couldn't help
10:52noticing in for a game
10:53of tennis, are we?
10:54Yes, that's right.
10:55In that case,
10:56you might be interested
10:56in this.
10:58Oh.
10:58Calling all sportsmen
11:00and women.
11:00It's a deal
11:01I've negotiated
11:01with Wild Sports Shop.
11:03If you present a ticket
11:04to say you've used
11:05this centre
11:06between ten and three
11:07within the last three days,
11:08they'll give you
11:09a seven and a half percent
11:10discount
11:10on any goods
11:11you may purchase there.
11:13Oh, well, that's great.
11:14Thanks.
11:14Not at all.
11:15It's our job to help.
11:17Oh, there is just one thing.
11:19The offer only lasts
11:20until the end of the week
11:21because the shop
11:22is in fact closing down.
11:24If you do wish
11:25to avail yourselves,
11:26you have to do so
11:26before the end of the week.
11:27All right?
11:29We'll have a two-hour session,
11:31please.
11:31Bye.
11:33Is it the 30th today?
11:34Sorry?
11:35The 30th.
11:36Yes, it is.
11:37I've just remembered
11:39they're closing down
11:40the precinct
11:41to do some repaving
11:42from tomorrow.
11:43So, in fact,
11:43the offer only stands today.
11:45Fine.
11:46Fine.
11:46Oh, and today's Thursday,
11:48isn't it?
11:48Which means it's
11:49half-day closing
11:50and it's 11.30 now.
11:53If you're not down there
11:54in half an hour,
11:55we'll manage.
11:56I'm sure.
11:57I'll tell you what,
11:57forget about the game.
11:59You pop down there now,
12:00get yourself a discount,
12:01probably a pair of track shoes
12:02for you
12:03and probably, I don't know,
12:04a new cardigan for you
12:05and we'll keep the ticket
12:07until...
12:08Oh, no, you want the ticket,
12:09won't you?
12:09I think we'll just go
12:10and have a...
12:11I'll tell you what,
12:11I'll write on it here.
12:12This carol...
12:14Yes?
12:14...is to allow these gentlemen
12:15back at any time
12:16for the full duration
12:17of their game, all right?
12:19So you take these,
12:20pop down now,
12:21get your discount
12:21and you can still come back
12:22this afternoon
12:23to play the game.
12:23How's that?
12:25Is your name British?
12:26Gordon British,
12:27his manager.
12:29Well, gentlemen,
12:29hope you've managed
12:30to find a few bargains.
12:33Your fiver?
12:34Yeah.
12:35Can't come to the
12:35consolation up at the club.
12:37Anyway,
12:37it's never more than
12:38a three-hour wait.
12:39Hello.
12:40Can I speak to Mr. Wilson?
12:42It is rather important.
12:44Huh?
12:47On his honeymoon.
12:50No, I...
12:50I didn't know
12:51he was getting married.
12:53Yes, it is wonderful news,
12:56isn't it?
13:02No, I'm sorry.
13:05I've tried to persuade him,
13:06but he says the whole idea
13:07is quite ridiculous.
13:08Oh, well, maybe he's right.
13:09Maybe the brake pipes
13:10were just an accident.
13:12That's certainly
13:12what Mr. British thinks.
13:14He rang the garage
13:15and asked if it mightn't
13:16have been a squirrel.
13:17What did they say?
13:18They said it was possible,
13:20but if it was,
13:20it was a squirrel
13:21with a hacksaw.
13:24Is there anyone
13:25in your neighbourhood
13:26who he's upset recently?
13:28Where do you want me
13:28to start, Laura?
13:30I mean, I'm his wife.
13:30Look how I feel.
13:32The trouble is,
13:33I think he had difficulty
13:34believing anyone
13:34could dislike him,
13:35let alone want to...
13:36Exactly.
13:37Why would he want
13:37to kill someone
13:38who's always tried
13:39to do the right things
13:39for the right reasons?
13:40That's just what he said.
13:42Have you ever seen him
13:43on a zebra crossing?
13:44I'm sorry?
13:44He just steps out
13:46and starts walking.
13:46It's the same principle,
13:47you see.
13:48He's in the right.
13:49It never occurs to him
13:50how the driver might feel.
13:51Being in the right,
13:52that's what matters.
13:54I see.
13:55It'll be the death
13:55of him one day.
13:57One day the cars
13:57won't stop in time
13:58and I'll be left
13:59cradling him in my arms
14:00and mopping the blood
14:01from his mouth.
14:02And you know
14:03what he's going to say
14:03as he smiles bravely
14:05up at me through the pain?
14:06Don't worry, darling.
14:08It was my right of way.
14:11I don't believe this man.
14:13What does he think
14:13he's doing?
14:14I mean,
14:14what does he think
14:15he's doing?
14:15Come on, Tim,
14:16it's not that bad.
14:17All I have to say
14:18is that you did
14:18some good deed
14:19for somebody
14:20and you get a cup,
14:21that's all.
14:21No, absolutely not.
14:22No.
14:23We all have to take a turn.
14:25Damien was best,
14:26got the best
14:27turn-out tanger
14:27twice last month.
14:29Linda and Patrick
14:30have both been
14:30best citizens
14:31several times.
14:32You've won nothing
14:33since the punctuality shield.
14:39Hey, Colvin,
14:41somebody's been messing
14:42around with my stars.
14:43What?
14:43Well, I only had six
14:45this morning
14:45and now...
14:46No, no, no,
14:47I can explain that.
14:48You got those for rescue
14:49with that little girl
14:50who swam out of her depth.
14:51No, no, no,
14:52I only got one for that,
14:53I remember.
14:54British said.
14:54Ah, yes,
14:55but it was a green one.
14:56They're worth two
14:56yellers of the
14:57yellers of five-eighth.
14:58That's Ted Redd.
15:00Well, I'm sorry,
15:01I'm not having it.
15:02Ah!
15:02Oh!
15:04Look,
15:05Gavid,
15:05does it really matter?
15:07Matter?
15:07Whoever wins this
15:09thing
15:09has to go out
15:10to dinner with
15:11British at the
15:11Bernie Inn.
15:12Of course it matters.
15:14I know how you feel.
15:16Well, it's not fair.
15:18Some of the others
15:19haven't got any stars
15:19at all.
15:20Look at them.
15:22Tony.
15:24Tony had two stars
15:25yesterday.
15:26I know he did.
15:27He's peeled them off.
15:28No, no, no.
15:28Lost those for being late.
15:30Oh,
15:31he always weasels
15:31out of it somehow,
15:32doesn't he?
15:33Well, he's not
15:33getting away with it
15:34this time.
15:34He can have a couple
15:35of mine for starters.
15:37Gavid!
15:37Gavid,
15:38if Mr. British
15:39catches you...
15:40Oh!
15:42If I can have
15:43your attention,
15:44please,
15:44everyone,
15:45Colin.
15:46Now,
15:46some of you
15:47may have seen
15:47these eye-catching
15:48notices I've been
15:49displaying around
15:50the centre.
15:51But the more
15:51thoughtful ones
15:52amongst you
15:52will realise
15:53that people
15:53have got to
15:54come into the
15:54centre in the
15:55first place
15:55to actually
15:56read them.
15:57So,
15:57there's 200
15:58for you,
15:59Tim.
16:00200 for
16:00Colin.
16:01Do you want me
16:02to deliver all
16:03those,
16:03Mr. British?
16:04Not all of them,
16:05Colin,
16:05no.
16:06I want you to
16:06keep at least
16:07one back
16:07to put in
16:08your own
16:08front window.
16:09That way,
16:10when people
16:10walk past,
16:11they'll be able
16:11to see the
16:12headline,
16:13Calling All
16:13Sportsmen
16:14and Women,
16:15and they'll
16:15think to
16:15themselves,
16:16ooh,
16:16I wonder what
16:17that rather
16:17intriguing notice is.
16:19Then they'll
16:19come along
16:20and they'll
16:20say,
16:21it's from
16:21the leisure
16:21centre.
16:22They seem
16:22to be offering
16:234% off any
16:24ticket bought
16:24midweek before
16:259am by anyone
16:26with a pension
16:27card.
16:27I must tell
16:28Granny.
16:30See the way
16:30it works?
16:31Right,
16:31everyone,
16:32if you'd like
16:32to help
16:32yourselves,
16:33please.
16:34Gavin,
16:34do you have
16:35a word,
16:35please?
16:36Mr. British?
16:37Now,
16:37what were you
16:38doing just now
16:38when I came
16:39in?
16:40What?
16:40You were doing
16:41something at
16:41the notice
16:41boards.
16:42Oh,
16:42nothing,
16:43Mr. British.
16:43I think you
16:43were,
16:44Gavin.
16:44I wasn't,
16:45I wasn't doing
16:45anything,
16:46honest.
16:46It's alright,
16:47I know.
16:48I didn't touch
16:48it!
16:49You were at
16:49this notice
16:49board and
16:50you thought
16:50to yourself,
16:51ooh,
16:51look at
16:52Tony,
16:52he's got
16:52no stars,
16:54and between
16:54you and me,
16:55the president
16:55said who
16:55tells me
16:56we're ever
16:56getting any,
16:57and you
16:57thought,
16:57there's me,
16:58Gavin,
16:59storming into
16:59the lead
17:00in this month's
17:00competition
17:01again.
17:02So,
17:02you decided
17:03to boost
17:03his morale
17:04with a couple
17:04of your own
17:04stars,
17:05didn't you,
17:05Mr. British?
17:06That is exactly
17:07the sort of
17:07caring generosity
17:08that I'm trying
17:09to encourage,
17:10Gavin.
17:10I'll tell you
17:15to yourself.
17:17What?
17:17With that,
17:18I'm going to
17:18give you two
17:18more.
17:21Just to show
17:22that selflessness
17:22doesn't always
17:23go unrewarded.
17:25Aww.
17:26Well done,
17:27Gavin,
17:27everyone.
17:28Well done,
17:28Gavin.
17:29Now,
17:29I must be
17:29off to my
17:30game of squash.
17:31Can anyone
17:31lend me a comb?
17:32Ah,
17:32here we are,
17:33Mr. British.
17:33Thank you,
17:34Colin.
17:35You don't get
17:37dandruff,
17:37do you,
17:38Mr. British?
17:38Never mind,
17:39Colin,
17:39never had it
17:40in my life.
17:40I used to get
17:41it really badly,
17:42you know,
17:42but then it
17:43turned into
17:43seboria,
17:44which is where
17:44great
17:45fakey chunks
17:46drop out.
17:49Thank you,
17:50Colin.
17:50Right,
17:51Mr. British.
17:51Do you need me
17:52to get changed
17:52for the game
17:53then,
17:53Mr. British?
17:54As it happens,
17:54I've been challenged
17:55by an anonymous
17:56member of the public.
17:57To the death,
17:58the note said.
17:59This would be
17:59interesting.
18:25Thank you,
18:26thank you.
18:27Oh,
18:29oh,
18:43oh,
18:44oh,
18:56Larry, what are you doing here?
18:58Gavin, there's something I want you to do for me.
19:00Oh, yes?
19:01I want you to tell Mr. Brittas there's somebody up on the roof contemplating suicide.
19:06There's someone on the roof?
19:08Not yet, but there soon will be.
19:11For God's sake, don't tell Brittas. He'll want to help.
19:13I know.
19:14He'll try and talk them down. Five minutes of that and they won't be contemplating suicide.
19:18They'll have jumped.
19:19Who is it?
19:20It's me.
19:21You?
19:22You're going to jump?
19:24Larry, why?
19:26The choir at St. Mary's took 20 years to build up, you know.
19:29What?
19:29We used to travel around the country, win prizes.
19:32Then Brittas came along, calling everybody by their Christian name, helping them, giving them all encouragement.
19:37We only had three people at choir practice last night.
19:41So then I decided.
19:45He has to die.
19:48For what?
19:49Seemed the only sensible thing.
19:51You're going to kill Brittas?
19:54Not for myself, you understand.
19:56For the sake of the parish.
20:00Larry, I don't know what to say.
20:02Well, we all feel a bit like that sometimes, but don't you think you need a little help?
20:07That's why I came to you.
20:09No, no, that's not quite what I meant.
20:11Look, look, Gavin.
20:12Just get him up on the roof and I'll do the rest.
20:17Larry!
20:19Oh, God.
20:23Tim?
20:24I've just seen Larry Whittaker.
20:26He says he's going to kill Brittas.
20:27I've always liked Larry.
20:28Oh, Tim.
20:30Does he need any help?
20:31I'm being serious.
20:33He's asked me to lure Brittas up onto the roof so that he can murder him.
20:36How?
20:36Well, I don't know.
20:37I suppose he's going to throw him off or something.
20:39Well, have you warned him?
20:40Who?
20:41Brittas.
20:42No, not yet.
20:44Do you think I should?
20:45Well, you have to, don't you?
20:47Yes.
20:47Yes, of course.
20:48I'll go with you.
20:50Oh, come on.
20:52Yes.
20:53Yes, I'm sure you're right.
21:04Come in.
21:06Mr. Brittas, could we have a word, please?
21:08Oh, Tim, Gavin, just the people I wanted to see.
21:10Tim, could you fly down to the squash courts for me, please?
21:13I'm sorry.
21:14I think I left my racket in squash court number three.
21:16And you want me to run all the way down there and fetch it now?
21:19If you wouldn't mind, Tim, yes.
21:21Mr. Brittas, I've just been talking to...
21:23If you don't mind me hopping in first, Gavin, while young Tim is away...
21:26What?
21:26I have a confession to make.
21:28My racket is actually perfectly safe here in my cupboard.
21:31Mr. Brittas, I...
21:32I just want a discreet word about Tim.
21:33Take a seat, Gavin.
21:35What about Tim?
21:36Now, you're a good friend of Tim, aren't you?
21:38You work well together.
21:40Yes.
21:41Well, I'm just getting slightly concerned that he might be somewhat, you know...
21:46Somewhat what?
21:48I'm just getting a little bit worried lately that he might be a bit of a left-footer.
21:53You think he's a homosexual?
21:55Good heavens, I wouldn't put it as strongly as that.
21:58Then what do you mean?
22:01I'm a broad-minded sort of bloke, Gavin.
22:03I think you know that.
22:04But Joe Public can get very, very anxious about that sort of thing.
22:08All I want you to do is just keep an eye out if you get my drift.
22:13No, I'm afraid I do.
22:15Just keep an eye out, particularly in the changing rooms and the showers.
22:20And tell me if...
22:21Well, if anything.
22:23What?
22:23All in complete confidence, of course.
22:25We don't want Tiny Tim to know about it, do we?
22:27But, on the other hand, we don't want some member of the public to...
22:30It's not there.
22:30Linda said you took it with you.
22:32Oh, well, thanks for trying, Tim.
22:33She said it's in your cupboard.
22:34Is it?
22:35Oh, that's good.
22:36Silly me, eh?
22:37Well, Gavin, I'll bear in mind what you had to say about the vending machine.
22:41What?
22:42Now, I gather you two have something to tell me.
22:44Mr Brutass.
22:45Angie.
22:45There's a man on the roof about to commit suicide.
22:47What?
22:48Mr Tom's going to jump in about five minutes.
22:50All right, Angie, all right.
22:51You'd better get Laura to close off the area
22:53and also get Colly to lay out some gym mats just in case.
22:56I'll see if I can't talk him down.
22:58Aren't you going to call the police?
22:59Don't worry, Angie, I'm a trained Samaritan.
23:03I presume whatever it was can wait, lads.
23:06Well, it wasn't.
23:06Yes, that's fine.
23:07What?
23:08Are you sure?
23:09It can wait, Mr Brutass.
23:11Right, onwards and upwards.
23:41I'll see if I can't wait, Mr Brutass.
23:43Hi.
23:50Hello?
23:53Oh, there you are, Larry.
23:55It's no good.
23:56You can't stop me.
23:57No?
23:58No, of course.
23:59I'm not here to stop you doing anything.
24:01I just thought I'd take some fresh air.
24:05Is that all right?
24:06Yes, I suppose so.
24:08I come up here quite often myself to, you know, think things over.
24:14Mind if I join you?
24:15Oh, not at all.
24:17Why don't you, er, come and sit there?
24:32Let's put a few cards on the table, shall we, Larry?
24:36You've heard, haven't you?
24:37What?
24:39I'm not normally a quitter.
24:41I think you know that.
24:42But if you'll just hear me out, you'll know why exactly I have to resign.
24:47What?
24:48From the choir.
24:50You're going to resign?
24:50It's just a question of priorities.
24:53You see, this place needs my full energies.
24:57This is my parish.
24:58This is where my ministry must spread from.
25:02You're leaving the choir?
25:03You see, I have a dream.
25:07When?
25:08Well, as a matter of fact, I just finished writing my letter of resignation when I heard the news you
25:13were up here.
25:14You put it in writing?
25:16God knows I don't like letting people down, Larry, but...
25:19Can I see it?
25:20But I just didn't know how much this meant to you.
25:24Otherwise, I'd have tried to talk things through with you.
25:26The letter? Can I see it?
25:28Are you sure you can take this?
25:29Oh, quite sure.
25:32As it happens, I've got it in my anorak here.
25:36It must be on the other side.
25:38Could you move up a bit, please, Larry?
25:39Oh, yes, of course.
25:46Are you OK, Larry?
25:48Look, all right, I'll tear it up.
25:52I'm tearing it up now.
25:54Larry!
26:05Mrs. Brittus?
26:06Hello, Laura. What are you doing here?
26:08A few of us from the late shift decided to club together and get in some flowers.
26:12Oh, how sweet of you. Thank you.
26:16He wanted to do something.
26:17Does, um, anyone have any idea why he jumped?
26:22Oh, I thought there must be some mistake. He's in the next door bed that way.
26:26This isn't the man who jumped off the roof?
26:28I'm afraid not.
26:29This is Gordon.
26:31Mr. Brittus?
26:32Didn't you hear?
26:33It was when he was walking home this evening.
26:35Got run over by a treacle lorry.
26:37That was him!
26:39Well, I saw a bit about it on the news, but of course I didn't recognise him under all that
26:43treacle and everything.
26:45What happened?
26:46He got run over on a zebra crossing.
26:50The driver's in the next door bed that way and the old ladies from the bus stop are in the
26:54two rooms after that.
26:55It's quite an achievement, really.
26:56I'm sorry?
26:58Well, filling an entire hospital intensive care unit single-handed.
27:01It's a good story.
27:05They do say he'll be all right, don't they?
27:08I've been sitting here wondering about that and I couldn't help thinking if perhaps it might be easier for everyone
27:13if he wasn't.
27:15What?
27:16What if he didn't recover? If he just slipped quietly away?
27:19Oh, I think that's a bit harsh.
27:22I mean, you can't say anyone deserves to die.
27:25Oh, I didn't say he deserved it. I was just being practical.
27:30I see.
27:33Well, I'd miss him.
27:35It's all right, Laurie. You don't have to cheer me up.
27:38No, I didn't say it to cheer you up, honestly.
27:40The thing about your husband, Mrs. Britters, I know he's annoying.
27:45Very annoying. He annoys me a lot of the time.
27:47But what I always end up remembering is that there's never any malice.
27:51He doesn't hate anybody.
27:52He cares about the centre and all the people in it.
27:55He wants more than anything to help.
27:57He really does have a dream.
27:59And even though things never quite work out the way he wanted,
28:02the fact that he tries, that he keeps on trying,
28:05well, I think that's worth something.
28:08Do you?
28:10I do, actually.
28:13Yes.
28:15Yes, you're probably right.
28:19Yes.
28:30Hello, darling.
28:31Hello, Gordon.
28:34You know, it was my right of way.
28:36You know, it's my right of way.
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