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مسلسل Mr Bates vs. The Post Office مترجم - Episode 1
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00:14Well, I tend to go for a seven, a double missing, because my attention's too tight, but seven and a
00:19half, I think, yeah.
00:21One first-class dump there, Megan.
00:23Twenty-eight papers.
00:24How much?
00:25I know, daylight robbery.
00:28That's the post office for you.
01:03Oh, Alan?
01:04Alan, management.
01:06Well, thugs in suits.
01:08You know I'll be here, Alan.
01:10And you know you're a day early.
01:12Boy, there's a queue here.
01:14I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but this post office is now closed.
01:18Not yet, it isn't.
01:19That's 2.39, Tom, please.
01:21Alan.
01:22Come on, let us in, please.
01:24Yeah.
01:25If you'd like to make an appointment for after my so-called contract ends, I shall inspect my diary for
01:31a window.
01:32We have a right of entry.
01:34I'm the sub-postmaster, so I'm locked in, and everyone else is locked out.
01:39So, if you want to see my accounts, you'll have to come back tomorrow.
01:48Right.
01:49Come on.
01:51You're going to need some help.
01:51Right.
01:52I'm calling the police.
01:54Sorry about that, Tom.
01:56I'm calling from Pragerdon Postman.
02:00They're not calling me a thief.
02:02They wouldn't dare.
02:04They say money's somehow gone missing from this branch, which it hasn't.
02:08And I have to pay it back, which I won't.
02:11So I say, prove it.
02:13Prove that I'm wrong, and you're right.
02:16Show me the figures.
02:17But they can't, or won't, do that.
02:19Alan.
02:20So now they want to close me down to shut me up.
02:23That's ridiculous.
02:24Because they don't want everyone knowing what I know.
02:27Which is?
02:28That the fancy new computer system that they've spent an arm and a leg on is faulty.
02:33No one else has ever reported any problems with Horizon.
02:37No one.
02:38I don't believe you.
02:40So, no actual crime has been committed here today?
02:45Well, Post Office Limited is stealing my livelihood.
02:50My shop, my job, my home, my life savings, my good name.
02:58Civil matter.
02:59Might hope.
03:00Be getting back to the day job.
03:02Might want to come back tomorrow, sir.
03:07How exactly do you sleep at night?
03:13Same time tomorrow?
03:26Can't be just us, can it?
03:33Good morning, Mary Ann.
03:34Good morning, Joe.
03:35All right?
03:40Good morning, Joe, Mary Ann.
03:41Good morning, Joe.
03:42Good morning, Joe.
03:42All right, Trevor, Nazia.
03:45Good morning, Mary Ann.
03:46Good morning, Joe.
03:46Good morning.
03:47We'll get him in there.
03:48No rush.
03:49Good morning, Joe.
03:55Oh, you smell good.
03:58Don't turn your back, they'll all be gone.
04:03That's better, Diane.
04:04I can't find it anywhere.
04:06It's my pension book.
04:07I can't, I can't find it anywhere.
04:08Yeah, you haven't lost your pension book.
04:10I keep it in my door, remember?
04:13Yeah.
04:23sorry spinning plates well as much as i can do to get myself into court every morning with my
04:27hair brushed a dozen first class please whisper it legal eagle but i'm happy baking bookkeeping
04:34accounts and computers not so much yeah a good day
04:45no job no income nowhere to live all our hopes dreams all our savings down the pan
04:57and it's killing us alan hair's actually falling out
05:11i'm not letting the post office get away with it
05:15you already did
05:24go on concentrate
05:28well i'm thinking somewhere quiet up in the hills
05:32i can walk you can paint am i not allowed to walk
05:37just tell me how we're going to afford any of these places
05:41we'll work it's what people do now come on suzanne if we're going to walk away let's do it with
05:49our heads held high
05:54so they head off into an uncertain future on the plus side won't be us hanging around on the phone
06:05horizon helpline thank you for waiting oh no
06:09horizon helpline thank you for waiting
06:15hello how can i help
06:16oh hi uh it's joe hamilton here from south warmbra
06:20i'm trying to produce this week's cash account
06:22and what's the problem
06:23i know it's probably me because i'm really rubbish with technology but
06:27i've declared my cash i've declared my stock i've done it all three times and i still can't get it
06:32to balance
06:33i hate wednesdays
06:35and what does horizon say
06:37it says i've taken
06:412032 pounds 67 more than i think i have
06:44okay redeclare your stock holding
06:48so that'll automatically create a discrepancy
06:51okay
06:51it'll have inflated your cash holding so now
06:53i want you to reverse that difference
06:56right oh
06:59so now if you redeclare everything it'll balance okay
07:02this is so helpful thank you
07:04don't go away stay with me till i've done it
07:11oh my god
07:13it it it's it's just doubled right in front of my eyes
07:17now now it says i'm four thousand pounds down
07:20it'll sort itself out these things do
07:22in the meantime
07:22i i was only doing what you told me
07:26in the meantime you'll need to make good the loss
07:29i haven't got that money
07:31and i don't know where it's gone
07:33i'm sorry you are responsible for balancing your account and making good any shortfalls
08:01you did your best love
08:03well wrote a lot of letters mps ministers post office chairman daily telegraph
08:10computer weekly
08:11i thought they'd have shown an interest at least
08:13putting it behind us now
08:39uh i thought we were walking away
08:41back burner
08:43we did say i could have that spare room for my sewing room
08:46no problem
08:51alan
08:53open here
08:58careful
08:58give us a hand
08:59i don't really need to be keeping all of these
09:03just in case
09:04i'll er
09:05i'll go through them all later
09:08mind your back
09:11there's nothing wrong with my back
09:13yeah not yet
09:19all put away sorted
09:20almost forgotten
09:23maybe things are starting to look up
09:25should we investigate the local pub
09:28things are definitely starting to look up
09:31yes
09:32yes
09:32yes
09:47yes
10:07No, no, no, no, I'm sorry mum, there's nothing left to take out my wages, my savings are
10:15already gone, my credit cards are maxed out.
10:19I know I should have told you before but I didn't want to scare you, it's all right love, you're
10:27her husband, tell her it's all right, I don't know, Jo, how did the post office really get
10:36lost, what is it you've been doing wrong, I don't know either, I have no idea, oh I don't
10:45want to cry, I kept thinking one day some kind of electronic wizardry would kick in and
10:52it would just sort itself out but it never has and now the computer says my shortfall's
10:58gone up to £9,000 so.
11:04Remortgaging the house though.
11:06I know what I'm suggesting is really awful but David, there's the 40 year lease on the
11:11shop and if they suck me we'll lose everything.
11:14this house, our home, I have to make good my shortfalls, it says so in my contract.
11:24I have to find the money to pay them back.
11:29If it draws a line under it.
11:44Horizon helpline, thank you for waiting, all our agents are busy right now but please continue
11:50to hold.
11:52Dad, I can't find my trainers.
11:55We looked under your bed, have a look.
11:59Horizon helpline, thank you for waiting.
12:01Ah yeah, it's Lee Castleton here again, from Bridlington, yeah look me up, it's all there.
12:07Ok, hold on.
12:11Daddy!
12:12Yeah just go and ask your mum love.
12:15Ok yeah, I've got your file here.
12:17Yeah right, now you'll see from my record, this is the 91st time I've called you about
12:21these shortfalls.
12:23Yeah it's odd, no one else is having these problems.
12:26But I still can't make any sense of these figures.
12:28You know I still wonder, someone might have hacked into my account.
12:31No no no, that's impossible.
12:33Branch accounts are totally secure.
12:34Ok, right.
12:35So, if it's definitely something that I'm doing wrong, please, can you just tell me what?
12:40Yeah, you want to request a visit from the auditors?
12:42Yes, yes, finally, thank you.
12:45Here they'll get to the bottom of it.
12:46I'm sorry.
12:47Alright, have a good day kids.
12:49Right, I'm erm, listen, I'm gonna, I'm gonna write it down now, so yeah, they're definitely
12:53gonna call me, right?
12:54What you need to do is isolate your transaction.
12:57You need to put in a number that is one digit higher or lower, or the computer won't find
13:02it.
13:03How's that supposed to work?
13:05I don't know, it just works.
13:07Do it.
13:10Last time it showed a loss, I had to remortgage my house.
13:13I can't understand why it's happened again.
13:15Me neither.
13:16Nobody else has these problems.
13:19You know, you must balance tonight or you can't open in the morning.
13:22I have to open in the morning.
13:23My old ladies rely on me.
13:25So, one digit higher or lower.
13:29You're taking some must match your balance on your horizon.
14:01I just want you to get some must match your balance.
14:04I'll hang your head out right here.
14:04I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm going to hang your head.
14:04I've been telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm telling you.
14:08Let's go.
14:43Let's go.
15:10Let's go.
15:22Let's go.
15:24Let's go.
15:25Let's go.
15:31Let's go.
15:31Thanks for all your help, yeah?
15:35Did they find the problem?
15:37£26,000 gone missing.
15:39You what?
15:40£26,000.
15:42Let's go through those figures again right now.
15:44Not allowed.
15:45Hey?
15:46Suspended.
15:46Locked out my own post office till I pay it all back.
15:4926,000.
15:52What are we gonna do?
15:56Fight.
16:06Whatever it is you're reading, Alan, you're doing it in an annoyingly significant manner.
16:11Year one of the degree there's a core foundation course including programming and problem solving.
16:20Let's see.
16:24Oh, God.
16:26Computer science.
16:27Why don't you do English or philosophy or...
16:31Computer science is good.
16:33It's career planning.
16:34In which case why not aromatherapy or golf club management?
16:38And my student grant will help keep this roof over our heads.
16:43Also, we'll be able to set up a website so people will be able to find us.
16:51People.
16:54Meaning sub-postmasters.
16:58Three years since we lost the post office and come on, Susanne, we're walking away.
17:03Has a single day gone by when you've thought about anything else?
17:10I got a job.
17:13Teaching?
17:16Cleaning.
17:18Offices.
17:20Start next week.
17:24No shame in it, is there?
17:33One day.
17:35One day what?
17:38We'll get the bastards.
17:46Right, Millie, you've been quiet all the way home. What's bothering you?
17:49Don't tell her.
17:51Uh, don't tell me what.
17:53That boy made him a big spit in Millie's hair.
17:57He did what?
17:58The same one who said Dad stole lots of money off old people.
18:03Millie?
18:05You know that's not true.
18:07Okay?
18:08Your dad is not a thief.
18:11He's not.
18:15Go on, go upstairs, go play.
18:16I'll be up in a minute, okay?
18:23Yeah, look at this.
18:23Look, look.
18:24Right, I've been through these a hundred times.
18:26I don't know if I haven't seen it before.
18:27Look.
18:27I'm gonna have to talk to the school.
18:2923rd of March, right?
18:31I'm logged in on Terminal 1.
18:33I put in the transaction and it shows up on Terminal 2.
18:39That should never happen.
18:41That's proof.
18:42It's proof there's something wrong with the system.
18:43Lee.
18:44The children.
18:45The bullying is getting worse.
18:49I know.
18:52The only way to stop it is to prove that I'm not a thief.
18:56Right?
18:57It must be a bug.
18:58It must be, it must be a computer bug or something.
19:04Right.
19:06What are you doing?
19:09Lee?
19:10Look, there's 15,000 post offices on that list.
19:13Are you just gonna randomly call them all up and ask them if the computer is broken?
19:16How else am I gonna find someone with the same problem before my case goes to court?
19:20I've got to show them it's not just me.
19:22Lisa, the post office are suing us for 26,000 pounds, which we didn't steal.
19:28And we haven't got hanging around in piggy banks.
19:35Okay.
19:35Hello.
19:37Yeah, I'm really sorry to bother you.
19:39My name's Lee Castleton.
19:41I'm sorry mate.
19:42I don't take cold calls.
19:47It's alright.
19:47I'll just call the next one.
19:57Please.
20:05Joe!
20:07Joe!
20:09Don't come in at him.
20:11You can't keep working these hours.
20:13You'll kill yourself.
20:16Oh, Joe.
20:18Love.
20:20I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
20:23I keep trying over and over and I can't make it work.
20:27The numbers, they just slide away from me and I don't know where my money is.
20:31I don't know where it's gone.
20:33They need to send someone down here to sort this out.
20:36Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't suck me.
20:38Oh, Joe.
20:41You need help.
20:44Oh, my God.
20:48Oh, my God.
20:50Oh, my God.
21:02I'm Ryan Fleming from the investigations team.
21:06I'll need those keys.
21:08Oh, of course, yes.
21:10Good day.
21:15Morning, Joe.
21:21What's going on?
21:23Nothing.
21:31Mrs Hamilton, are you surprised to learn that the audit you requested
21:36found a shortfall of 36,644 pounds and 89 pence?
21:44I've never been able to get to grips with the system.
21:48And when I tried to get help...
21:49As you must know, your contract with us makes clear
21:52losses are your responsibility.
21:55Like once, I was on the phone to the helpline and it doubled.
21:58It just doubled the shortfall before my very eyes.
22:01Mrs Hamilton, this is public money.
22:03We need to talk about how you're going to pay it back.
22:05Sizing this place up for the bailiffs.
22:08Let me tell you, this house is my house too.
22:11So you can keep your thiebing hands off it
22:14and tell your evil bosses I said so.
22:16The shortfalls we uncovered today
22:18do not appear in any of the weekly accounts
22:21you've been submitting.
22:22My daughter is not a thief.
22:24A formal investigation will follow.
22:26No, can I just say something?
22:29Why would I do this?
22:31I love my post office.
22:33Until then I'm suspending you, Mrs Hamilton.
22:35With immediate effect.
22:47Joan!
22:48Hello.
22:49I think I might need a solicitor.
22:52Oh, erm...
22:54But I do...
22:54I mainly just do criminal work.
22:57That's good.
22:58That's great.
23:05You do not have to say anything,
23:07but it may harm your defence
23:09if you do not mention when questioned
23:11something which you later rely on in court.
23:13Anything you do say may be given in evidence.
23:21This is your cash account final for week 24.
23:27Is that your signature?
23:29No comment.
23:35This is your branch trading statement for period 10.
23:38It states that the cash in hand figure is 35,515 pounds and 83 pence.
23:47Is that a true amount of the cash on hand for that transaction statement?
23:52No comment.
23:55Have you deliberately inflated that cash figure?
23:59No comment.
24:01To cover the fact that you've been stealing post office money?
24:04No comment.
24:07No comment.
24:08Where's the money, Jo?
24:10What have you spent it on?
24:13No comment.
24:19Well, it's good to have a rehearsal, I suppose.
24:21Uh-huh.
24:23Before I have to do it properly with the police.
24:26With the police?
24:28They'll arrest me now for sure.
24:32Jo, the post office don't need the police.
24:36The post office has the right to run its own criminal investigations.
24:39All the way to the crown court.
24:41It's been that way for 300 years.
24:47Disgraced sub postmaster Noel Thomas is tonight behind bars.
24:51Starting a nine month prison sentence.
24:53Used to be a federation, that.
24:55No!
24:57Cardenar von Crown Court heard today that county councillor Thomas was previously regarded as honest, respectable, a pillar of his
25:03community in Anglesey.
25:05The 59 year old had earlier pleaded guilty to false accounting involving sums up to 48,000 pounds.
25:12Did she just say 48,000 pounds?
25:17Well, that's not the odd bit of shortfall.
25:19It's a hell of a lot of money, Suzanne.
25:23And he's pleaded guilty, so...
25:27Didn't look guilty though, did he?
25:29But bloody terrified.
25:32How do we know what pressure they're putting people under?
25:59How do we know what pressure they're putting people under?
26:03Everything alright?
26:05What is it?
26:11Royal courts of justice? In London?
26:13I'll be the only one there not wearing a wig.
26:16Oh, golly.
26:18Be fine, be fine. I'll just show the judge my logs and I'll explain about Horizon.
26:22And I'll just tell the truth. Be fine.
26:25It's not a criminal court, is it? They're just suing us for their money.
26:28But, hey, they love so many big lawyers and you...
26:32Yeah, I know, and I'll be representing myself, yeah.
26:34Due to the fact they haven't got a spare million quid to spend.
26:37Look, Lisa, we've just got to trust in the British justice system and everything will be alright.
26:42I've just got to tell the truth.
26:45It's fine, don't worry.
26:50I, erm...
27:18It's called a plea bargain.
27:20The deal is the post office will drop the theft charge if you agree to plead guilty to false accounting
27:25instead.
27:26And the plea bargain keeps me out of prison?
27:31Well...
27:34Sorry.
27:37How is 14 charges of false accounting better than one charge of theft?
27:43Theft is much bigger.
27:45And if you fight it and the jury is not on your side, then you will go to prison.
27:51Also, there are two conditions to the plea bargain.
27:54The post office say you have to pay back all the money.
27:58£36,000! How am I going to do that?
28:00And you must undertake not to blame the Horizon system.
28:06Well, I am guilty. I am. Because I did sign all those accounts when I knew they were wrong.
28:11But I never stole that money. I never saw a penny of it.
28:15Is he on? I still don't know where it went.
28:21Computers drive me mad.
28:22I never got used to Horizon and I won't say I love it now, but I can't claim we've had
28:27any real problems, so...
28:28No, no. I appreciate you talking to me. Thank you.
28:30I've got to go. Bye-bye.
28:32Alright. Bye-bye.
28:41Hello?
28:42Sorry about that. I had to nip at the back.
28:44Everyone's scared to talk. There's just one guy that can help.
28:49Hello. Yeah, I was hoping to speak to Alan Brown.
28:52You're Lee, right? Been expecting your call?
28:55Yeah.
28:55What happened here in Falkirk is that one of our terminals just stopped communicating with the network.
29:02Horizon didn't pick it up. No alarms were ringing.
29:05Some kind of bug.
29:07And that bug could be affecting every office in the country with more than one terminal.
29:11That's the same thing. Exactly the same thing that happened here.
29:14You see, and they always tell you you're on your own.
29:17Don't get too excited, laddie.
29:19Because I'm not going on record with any of this.
29:22No, I just thought that's what you...
29:24I've got thousands invested in this business.
29:26I can't afford to make an enemy a post office limited.
29:29Wait, but what's the point?
29:31I'll forward you a group email I sent some friends.
29:33You can use that if it helps.
29:36Are you going to send it now?
29:37Yes.
29:39Alright. Alright, thank you.
29:47Good luck.
30:02You look so excited.
30:04You've got a new plan.
30:18These so-called shortfalls, they're not real.
30:22Your system, it produces them out of nowhere.
30:27I'm a system specialist employed by Fujitsu, the manufacturer.
30:32I was unable to identify any basis on which horizon could have caused the losses.
30:36No, no, you see, no, I happen to know of another branch where the same thing has happened.
30:42You must ask Mrs. Chambers a question, Mr. Castleton.
30:46Oh, okay, sorry. Just give me a...
30:49You mean the branch at Calendar Square in Falkirk?
30:53Yes, that's it, yeah, the exact same thing. It's happening there.
30:57Yeah, I think we both have the same computer book.
31:02Yes, but the problem at Calendar Square arose from an error in the horizon system.
31:06My lord, there is no evidence of any such thing at Mr. Castleton's branch.
31:11No, no, no, it's the same thing. It's a computer book.
31:20The conclusion is inescapable that the horizon system was working properly in all material respects and that the shortfall is
31:29real.
31:30That the losses must have been caused by Mr. Castleton's own error.
31:34There will thus be a judgment on the claim against the defendant for £25,858.95.
31:43The claimant is entitled to their costs in the case and accordingly, Mr. Castleton is ordered to pay all Post
31:51Office Limited's costs in the total sum of £321,000.
32:13It's all empty.
32:15Come on, you two, let's get inside.
32:18And that was me, thinking I could fight him.
32:21When our shop's gone and we're stuck living above it because we can't sell it, our proceeds will go to
32:27the Post Office because I'm bankrupt.
32:29But, you know, I was an electrician when I was in the RAF, so at least I've still got a
32:34trade, but it just means I'm living out my car a bit.
32:38People think my wife's kicked me out, but it's not that.
32:41It's not that. I've just got to go where the work is, don't you?
32:44Mr. Castleton, I'm calling about the computer logs you sent us, but...
32:48Yeah, I'm sorry, it's me going home to myself.
32:50Yeah, I saw an advert, free expert help with any computer problems.
32:56Yeah, I'm still looking for answers, you see.
32:59I'm not an expert, I'm afraid, I'm just to report her.
33:01Mr. Castleton...
33:03Yeah, it's Lee.
33:03Lee, yeah. Apart from the chap you spoke to in Scotland, do you know if this has happened to anybody
33:09else?
33:09What he must have done?
33:11No, it can't just be me.
33:17Good morning, Jo.
33:19I've never even had a parking ticket.
33:22Shall we?
33:31There we are.
33:32Ten o'clock, court one.
33:34The sentence, R.B. Hamilton.
33:38Queen versus Meese.
33:41I wonder if she knows.
33:48I wonder if she knows.
34:04The post office, the shop, is at the heart of any community like ours.
34:11And Jo, well, we all love her.
34:14In some ways, she's more of the priest than I am.
34:18People confide in her.
34:20And she can always tell when someone's upset.
34:23You see, we trust her.
34:26And we just can't believe that any of this was on purpose in any way.
34:31Thank you, Mrs. Lees.
34:35Please stand up.
34:38Mrs. Hamilton.
34:40What exactly are you doing in my court?
34:44I don't know, sir.
34:45I have a large number of testimonials before me from your community,
34:50all of whom seem to be here today,
34:51as to your trustworthiness.
34:54I still have no idea.
34:55This wasn't just a muddle.
34:57It turned into fraud.
34:59It's a very serious state of affairs
35:01for someone in whom the public is entitled to trust.
35:06However,
35:07in light of your previous good character,
35:10I do not intend to impose a custodial sentence.
35:13You will be sentenced to a community order for 12 months
35:18and weekly meetings with a probation officer.
35:21You're free to leave.
35:23All right.
35:33I can't believe I'm not going to prison.
35:38You're all right.
35:42Maybe she was scared, Alan.
35:44Maybe she thought,
35:45put your hands up,
35:46get a lesser sentence.
35:48Now she's pleading guilty in court.
35:50Not everyone is as stubborn as you.
35:52God.
35:53Stubborn.
35:55I'll get you.
36:00Hello?
36:02Yep, he's calling, please.
36:05Oh, okay?
36:07Yep, okay.
36:08Alan,
36:09it's a reporter
36:10from Computer Weekly
36:12who's read about that woman in the paper
36:14and he wanted to talk to you about Horizon.
36:22Alan Bates?
36:24I can see you contacted us five years ago.
36:27Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
36:28Never mind.
36:29You're here now.
36:31It's odd because everyone thinks of the post office
36:33as sort of warm and cuddly.
36:36You know,
36:37when I first got legal advice,
36:40right at the very beginning,
36:41I was warned
36:42that if I tried to take them to court,
36:45even if I won,
36:47the post office would just keep appealing
36:49till I run out of money.
36:52But they never accuse you of any wrongdoing?
36:55No, no, no.
36:56They never tried to prosecute me.
36:58You know what I think?
37:00I think they knew
37:01that there was something wrong with my system.
37:06But,
37:08Rebecca,
37:09how many other sub-postmasters have you found?
37:12Six.
37:13We all go on the record.
37:15Plus you,
37:16if you're willing to.
37:18What do you think?
37:21Of course I will.
37:24Problems seems to be affecting a number of people.
37:28A seventh postmaster,
37:30Alan Bates,
37:31refused to sign his weekly accounts,
37:33saying it would have made him liable for any losses.
37:36He has called for a public inquiry.
37:39Good luck with that.
37:42Oh, you like this bit?
37:44A post office spokesman said,
37:46Horizon is an extremely robust system,
37:50which operates over our entire post office network.
37:54And successfully records millions of transactions each day.
37:58There is no evidence that points to any faults with the technology.
38:02We had the evidence.
38:03They wouldn't listen.
38:04We would always look into and investigate
38:07any issues raised by sub-postmasters.
38:10Hurts.
38:11Josephine,
38:12honestly,
38:14we do accept that individual branches
38:17may experience very occasional failures.
38:25This poor chap got sent to prison.
38:29Hello?
38:35No?
38:38Jo?
38:39Yeah.
38:45Do you want a tea?
38:47Yes, please.
38:50I couldn't believe it when I first ran about you.
38:52Fallen postmistress.
38:54What a claim to fame.
38:56Just,
38:57just the idea
38:59that there was anyone else caught up in the same trap.
39:04I don't miss the post office.
39:07Well, I miss the wages, but...
39:1017 years old.
39:12And I started
39:12as a postman
39:14delivering letters of my bike.
39:1842 years I worked for them.
39:21Think of it.
39:22Man and boy.
39:25Lord Noel.
39:26And they still sent you to prison?
39:29All I heard the judge say was
39:32nine months.
39:35They couldn't believe it.
39:37Couldn't.
39:38and then
39:41take him down.
39:45Had my 60th birthday behind bars, Jo.
39:50It was hell on earth.
39:56I'm really glad you came.
40:03Can you believe this, chap?
40:06Just kept refusing to sign his accounts.
40:09Kept refusing to pay.
40:13Bloody hero.
40:18Oh, my God.
40:19Never in a million years
40:20would it have occurred to me
40:20I could do that.
40:22They wrote off my first
40:23so-called shortfall
40:25when I jumped up and down
40:26and complained about it.
40:28You never thought it was your fault?
40:29Never.
40:31Why am I such a fool?
40:33I mean,
40:33I never even thought about the computers,
40:35except that it was weird
40:36when they said
40:37I wasn't allowed to blame it.
40:39I hope you don't mind me getting in touch.
40:41I don't mind at all.
40:44But, Jo,
40:45can I ask you one thing?
40:48Anything.
40:50Why did you plead guilty?
40:52Oh,
40:54I didn't want to.
40:55Oh, my God, no,
40:56but
40:58I really didn't want to go to prison.
41:00And I didn't know
41:02how to prove I was innocent.
41:03Shouldn't have to.
41:05It's supposed to be
41:06innocent until proven guilty.
41:09Yeah, right.
41:12So, what do we do now?
41:15Alan, any ideas?
41:25Thank you for waiting.
41:33I guess I'll have my sewing room
41:35in the next life, then.
41:37Won't be for long.
41:49Bridlington,
41:51Hampshire,
41:52Chelmsford,
41:53Somerset,
41:54Falkirk,
41:55and two in North Wales.
41:57That's the seven from Computer Weekly.
41:58Then there's, uh,
42:01the two that came via our website.
42:04But where are all the others?
42:08I'm thinking,
42:10test the water,
42:12set up a meeting,
42:13send out invitations,
42:14see if anyone turns up.
42:18Somewhere central.
42:22Birmingham.
42:23That's pretty central.
42:26Fennecompton.
42:29Fennecompton.
42:30Fennecompton.
42:31Fennecompton.
42:32Okay.
42:33There's a lovely ring to it.
42:35Just a place to start
42:37really annoying the hell
42:38out of the post office.
42:41Eight hundred and eight inhabitants.
42:44And a church hall.
42:46Still think maybe Birmingham.
42:48Ah, today,
42:49Fennecompton.
42:50Tomorrow the world.
42:55Yeah.
42:58This could be huge.
43:00Or nobody might turn up.
43:07It's got to be worth a try.
43:41Alan!
43:43Guest on the count of the cakes.
43:45I wasn't sure how many to bring.
43:47Hi, Suzanne.
43:49Oh, hello.
43:50Oh, thank you.
43:54Oh, we can all take them home if nobody comes.
44:00We'll give it 20 minutes.
44:15Oh, wow.
44:19Oh, wow.
44:21Oh, wow.
44:23Alan, you did it.
44:24Look at everyone.
44:27Look at them all.
44:29Hi.
44:31We're all here for the meeting.
44:34Yes, we are.
44:36Well, you'd better come in, then.
44:43We all look knackered.
44:45Yes, we are.
44:47I think what we've got.
45:08Right, er...
45:13Well...
45:14Welcome, everyone.
45:19We're all here to share our experiences and put our heads together.
45:28We're here because...
45:38The post office told every single one of us sat here today.
45:45Told us over and over...
45:50You're the only one.
45:54And that was wrong.
45:56That was a lie, actually.
46:01Because...
46:02Well, look at us.
46:06Here we all are.
46:09And from this moment forwards...
46:13None of us...
46:15Will be the only one...
46:18Ever again.
46:25God knows what is hiding in those weak and drunken hearts.
46:32Guess he kissed the girls and made them cry.
46:36Those hard-faced creams of misadventure.
46:41People, help the people.
46:46And if you're homesick, give me your hand and I'll hold it.
46:54God knows what they're doing, but there's no doubt.
46:54Have a good taste.
46:55You can see.
46:56Then you won't go to us.
46:56The dog lost in those places.
46:56In the background.
46:57The dog lost in those places.
46:57In the background.
46:57It's too hard to warn you.
46:57The dog was right.
46:57That's incongruous.
46:58To help you.
46:58The dog lost in the background.
46:58Just don't know what to do.
46:58The dog lost.
46:58You know what she chose today.
46:58You
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