- 4 days ago
مسلسل Orange Is the New Black مترجم - Episode 5
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00:14The animal, the animal
00:17Trap, trap, trap till the cages fall
00:20The cages fall, today's new
00:23And everyone is waiting, waiting on you
00:26And you've got time
00:37Think of all the roads
00:40Think of all their crossings
00:43Taking steps is easy
00:46Standing still is hard
00:49Remember all their faces
00:52Remember all their voices
00:55Everything is different
00:58The second time around
01:03And you've got time
01:12And you've got time
01:29In a world filled with hate
01:30We must still dare to hope
01:32In a world filled with despair
01:34We must still dare to dream
01:37Words from the late, great Michael Jackson
01:40Chapel will open at 8
01:43Today's order of services is Catholic, Evangelical, Wiccan, Baptist, Other, and Muslim
01:51Come enjoy your Sunday
01:53Sunday morning
02:09Brings the dawning
02:13It's just a restless feeling
02:17Fighting my side
02:22You didn't eat breakfast
02:24Most important meal of the day
02:28Start your engine right
02:29Thanks, Albert
02:33Thanks
02:34Fine
02:35Run on the fumes
02:38We're doing the four-hour body
02:40I don't know what that is
02:42But you'll see
02:44Listen
02:45Okay
02:46Good luck with that
02:50It's nothing at all
02:58Sunday morning
03:02And I'm falling
03:07I've got a feeling
03:09I don't want to
03:25It's all the streets you cross
03:28Not so long ago
03:33Watch out
03:35The world's behind you
03:38There's always
03:40Someone around you
04:09Look how buff my left arm looks just from grappling you
04:14Nichols, we gotta stop
04:15Yeah, we can't
04:16I gotta work out the other side
04:18Otherwise I'll be asymmetrical
04:19And crab or a tennis bro
04:20No, no, no
04:21No more
04:22I'm engaged
04:23Yeah, that's right
04:26Get it while you can
04:27No
04:28No, it's not fair to Christopher
04:30And I need to start tightening up
04:32You're making me feel like a cave
04:34Baby
04:35It's a cunt
04:36It stretches
04:37Yeah, sometimes I feel like you're trying to climb inside my womb
04:40What can I say? I've got mommy issues
04:42Well
04:43I don't want to do it anymore
04:45This was the last time
04:49Hey
04:50Hey, it's cool
04:51Just at least get me out first, right?
04:53That's not very classy
04:55We're having sex in a fucking chapel
04:56Come on, you want to get me blue balls?
04:59It's off
04:59Oh, shit
05:05I thought you said the service wasn't for an hour
05:07Yeah
05:08It was, you take too long to come
05:10The Jews never put markers back in the box
05:13So write your congressman
05:15What if he's a Jewish?
05:17There is one art cabinet for everyone
05:20And you have to share
05:22Now, if you please
05:23We need to get ready for mass
05:26Sister
05:26The candles
05:28Yes
05:29My service is coming up
05:30I want to hang up my decoration
05:32Your decoration?
05:34Yep
05:35Look at it
05:35I made it in the shop
05:38Except for it's not done on account
05:40That I ran out of glowing a dark paint
05:41But
05:41Dark, I get it out of here
05:43What?
05:44Why?
05:45You know why
05:45I have explained it to you
05:47It's not iconography
05:49It's the cross
05:50Nothing goes on the walls
05:52That can't be taken down
05:53Before the next service
05:55It's gonna glow in the dark
05:56Now, dogget
06:00You know what?
06:00Fine
06:02It's just fine
06:07Ain't right
06:07You know it
06:08Well, this chapel is not just for Christians
06:11Yeah
06:12I'm sure if I was a Catholic
06:14It would be much
06:15That's not true
06:16It's very true
06:18Because you give that pub's bitch
06:19A run in this place
06:21I like to think of myself
06:22As more of the Pope's homie
06:24You know what?
06:26You treat everybody here better than me
06:28Even those witch ladies
06:30Also, not true
06:31No, it is true
06:32You take them for walks
06:34As I would take you
06:36If your faith requires communion with nature
06:38I don't wanna walk, okay?
06:41I'm gonna hang this damn cross
06:43Because it's my religious freedom
06:45And you're violating it
06:51You could sue
06:52I heard about this tranny
06:54Massachusetts
06:55State paid for her whole hoo-ha
06:58I don't need him to pay for the car
07:00I just need him to buy the oil
07:05What exactly is going on with you anyway?
07:07Is it like menopause?
07:08Same idea
07:09Not enough lady juice
07:10Skin gets loose
07:12Tits get saggy
07:13Hulk
07:13Oh, God, do not do that
07:17Jesus
07:19I know what you can do
07:20You find an old lady lifer
07:21And you bum her estrogen
07:23You think the Fed gives a shit
07:25About her felon's hot flashes?
07:27None of that gets covered
07:28None gets it?
07:30I'm on the pill line with her
07:32Bullshit
07:32It's probably just antidepressants
07:34Oh, really?
07:35Ever heard of an SSRI called Gynotab?
07:40Ow, what the fuck?
07:42Girl, you pulled my hair
07:46You don't fucking talk to me
07:48But you want me to thread your eyebrows
07:49Nobody else can do them right
07:51Besides we're family
07:52We fight
07:53But we do shit for each other
07:55You're gonna let me play dominoes?
07:58You can keep score
08:00You got some thread?
08:07Yeah
08:07Go find Gloria
08:08See if she'll trade with you
08:09If not, I'll put some threads
08:11On my jacket
08:12All right
08:16Hey
08:17What are you doing?
08:19Trading corn
08:20Inmates aren't all the rest of bartering
08:21What the fuck is bartering?
08:23Trade
08:23Oh, come on
08:24Everybody trades
08:24Hey
08:25You want to get written up?
08:26Is that what you want?
08:26What do you want from me?
08:28What do I want?
08:28Less attitude
08:30You got that?
08:31You're not in charge here
08:34I am
08:35Now, give me the corn
08:36Yes, sir
08:40Damn, y'all saw that?
08:43He fucking took my corn
08:54Come on down to the hottest spot in south of Havana
08:58Brazil
08:58Copacabana Beach
09:00What?
09:01Be careful
09:02Some of the most beautiful things
09:04On the beach
09:10What you making?
09:14I'm dating
09:15I'm dating
09:19I'm sorry
09:20Do I smell?
09:22No, it's just in the song
09:24How's your Sunday?
09:25Pretty nice so far
09:26I was outside
09:28It is beautiful up here in the fall
09:31Oh, yeah
09:33Sure
09:33I got myself incarcerated
09:34Just so I could see the changing colors
09:37I'm serious
09:38I think I need to be outside more
09:40Weren't you cold?
09:41A little
09:42But it was lovely
09:43I had my tea
09:44It was almost hot
09:45I had my book
09:46It was almost good
09:47And I saw a chicken
09:50How random is that?
09:58What?
09:59What?
10:00What?
10:02You saw a chicken?
10:03Like a real life chicken in the flesh?
10:05Well, it was covered in feathers
10:07But
10:16What's going on?
10:17You need to talk to Red
10:19About what?
10:20You'll just need to talk to her
10:47Sayonara
10:48Sayonara
10:48I'm caught in the toilet
10:49There was a Barbie in it
10:52Evil
10:53Look, Barbie wanted to go scuba diving
10:58Ah, mommy
10:59Ah, sucio
11:00Get your cocky fingers off me
11:02She's gonna hit me
11:04You trying to hit your sister?
11:06She brushed the Barbie down the toilet
11:10The Barbie says I bought you
11:13You think Barbie's growing trees?
11:15You think toilets grow on trees?
11:18Huh?
11:19No
11:19What grows on trees?
11:21Nothing
11:21That's right
11:23You need to look after them better
11:25How about you?
11:26I got better things to do
11:28Get them a pizza if they're hungry
11:29I'm eating oysters, bitches
11:32Whatever
11:44I want oysters
11:46No, you don't
11:48You're sure it was a chicken
11:50Not a pigeon
11:53No
11:53What about a quail or a pheasant?
11:56Spruce, grouse
11:57American bald eagle
11:58It was a chicken
12:00I know what a chicken looks like
12:01I don't
12:02What's the big deal?
12:06There are no chickens around here
12:09Except for one
12:10They say she lived on a farm near here
12:12Till one night
12:14The night before all the other chickens
12:17Were slaughtered
12:19She escaped
12:22She's been out there ever since
12:24Living off the land
12:27Living on her wits
12:28Hey
12:30What's going on?
12:31The chicken's back
12:32Oh, give me a break
12:33Mom
12:34There is no chicken
12:36You're wrong
12:38She saw it
12:39Oh, really?
12:40How'd it get over the fence?
12:42I don't know
12:42It flew
12:43Chickens don't fly
12:45It was probably a spruce grouse
12:46No
12:47It was her
12:48I saw it in a dream
12:51Goodbye
12:54She came to me
12:56Already dressed in herbs
12:57And a little top hat
12:59Black
13:00Tilted to one side
13:01And she said
13:02Soon, Red
13:03We will be together
13:05Soon I will be yours
13:07No more processed chicken
13:09That looks like a hockey puck
13:11And tastes like wet paper
13:14Real chicken
13:15Kia
13:20First girl to bag that bird
13:23Gets a box of Biori strips
13:29Me too?
13:32Yes, you too
13:34You did good bringing this to me
13:37Maybe you're not as useless as I thought
13:45Sister Ingalls
13:46How was your service?
13:47Oh, fine
13:47Thank you for asking
13:49Sophia
13:49Sophia, that's right
13:51What was your sermon about?
13:53Oh, I don't give sermons
13:54I'm not a priest
13:55But we did have a good group discussion
13:57About overcoming sin
13:58Oh, I'm sorry I missed that
14:00Really?
14:01Are you Catholic?
14:01No, but
14:03Well, I think a lot about overcoming sin
14:06And I just love Jesus Christ
14:08And I've always wanted to try one of those communion wafers
14:12Well, I have a box of a thousand
14:14They're not as precious as the ones you get outside of prison
14:17But they're good with dip
14:19Oh, I forgot my hat
14:21Mind if I come with you?
14:22Not at all
14:24Okay, higher
14:25Higher
14:26Yep, higher
14:27Nope, wait, look
14:28Nope
14:29Okay, now
14:31No, that doesn't look centered to me
14:33Just
14:34Excuse me
14:36Oh, hey, sister
14:37Ain't your time through here?
14:39I thought you weren't allowed to put that up
14:40No?
14:41That's what the chaplain told you this morning
14:44Oh, yeah
14:45That's right
14:46You're the little church mouse that lives in her pocket
14:48Well, I live in God's pocket
14:50And she said I couldn't put up on the walls
14:52But she didn't say I couldn't hang it from the ceiling, alright?
14:54So
14:54That's not a low-bearing pipe
14:56What do you know about a low-bearing pipe, lady man?
15:00I think I just told you
15:01Please, I'll just get my hat
15:03It's not my business
15:04I don't want any trouble
15:05Trouble?
15:06There's not gonna be any trouble, okay?
15:07This is beautiful
15:09Alright?
15:10It's our right as Americans to religious freedom
15:14Ain't she heard of the Third Amendment?
15:16Soldiers should not be given quarter in a house in times of peace
15:18Is that really what the Third Amendment says?
15:21I never knew that
15:22Can you stay out of it?
15:25Oh, damn it, Tucky
15:26I can't go back to SAG
15:46God has chosen to test our conviction
15:53So, Red's okay with me
15:54Because I saw this chicken, I guess
15:56And she said I wasn't useless
15:59Wow
16:00Good
16:02So, that's the big news in my small world
16:06Um
16:09What's happening with Barney's?
16:10Did you talk to Weiner?
16:11Yes, I have
16:13Actually, there is
16:15Oh, well, it's funny
16:16But, um, there's a problem
16:19What?
16:19They have concerns about our ability to produce
16:22Since we still don't have a space
16:23You told them that?
16:24They don't need to know that
16:25Why did you tell them that?
16:27I don't know, because they asked
16:30I'm sorry, should I have texted you first?
16:32We don't have an official order yet
16:34They could take us off the shelves
16:35Well, you know, I was thinking
16:36Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea
16:41Excuse me?
16:42I mean, maybe it's not the best time
16:44To expand our business
16:46Polly, I quit my job for this
16:48And then you went to prison
16:50If I'd known you wouldn't be around
16:51To handle things
16:52I would have delayed the baby
16:53And gotten a puppy
16:54But I'm the size of Venus
16:56And allergic to dogs
16:57So, fuck it
16:59Polly, we were counting on the extra income
17:00Please, like you even pay rent
17:02I pay rent?
17:02Who told you I don't pay rent?
17:04Polly, I know that you're having a baby
17:05But what about our baby?
17:07What about baby Poppy?
17:08What if Piper talks to Weiner?
17:10You have more of a rapport, right?
17:12Yes, she likes me
17:13So, should I see if she'll drive up with us next week?
17:17No
17:18We can set up a call
17:19I'll call you
17:20And then the recording about it being a call from prison
17:23Will play
17:24And then you can call her from your phone
17:27Conference her in
17:28And I can talk to her
17:32Please?
17:33Two minute warning
17:34Two minutes
17:35Jesus, they don't give you any time
17:37I know
17:38Honey, have you talked to your dad about Alex?
17:41No, no, I
17:42Not yet
17:43I
17:43Pastor, please
17:44Okay, I'll ask him about it when I see him later this week
17:47Ask him what?
17:49To look over the indictment
17:50To see if Alex really named her
17:51Of course she named me
17:53It's so obvious
17:54Then why does his dad need to check?
17:56So I can shove it in her smug, lying
17:58Fucking lying
18:00Fucking face
18:02I know she's lying
18:05Hold up
18:06Oh
18:07She's in here with you?
18:11Yes
18:12Why didn't you tell me?
18:14You lied to me?
18:16Honey
18:18I didn't lie to you
18:19I just failed to mention
18:20I didn't want you to worry
18:22Worry about what?
18:24That she'd turn gay again
18:25Whoa
18:25That's not happening
18:27And you
18:27And you don't just turn gay
18:29You fall somewhere on a spectrum
18:30Like on a Kinsey scale
18:31Do you
18:32What?
18:33Any
18:33Besides, she is the last person around her
18:35That I'd sleep with
18:36Who's the first?
18:37See?
18:37I didn't mean that
18:38I didn't mean that
18:39I just
18:40This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you
18:41Because I knew that you would do this
18:43What are you afraid of?
18:44That I'm going to do something?
18:47Gay
18:47I wasn't before
18:49Until you lied
18:49Now
18:50Now I'm wondering if maybe you're worried you will
18:52Ah
18:54Classic projection
18:55Polly, don't help
19:28Not only is the ceiling ripped open
19:33Not only is the chapel covered in asbestos
19:39Rat shit
19:41God knows what
19:43Toxic mold
19:45Toxic mold
19:46But
19:47Surprise, surprise
19:50Our electrical line has been compromised
19:52We have to run
19:54New electrical
19:56Officer Lucecheck
19:58Is running
19:59New electrical
20:01Something that you feel
20:02Particularly excited about doing
20:04On a fucking Monday?
20:06Nope
20:07Hell nope
20:09You ought to be relaxing
20:10After an exhausting weekend
20:13Of prostate stimulation
20:14And blow up fuck dolls
20:17But instead
20:20Thanks to this
20:22Missed opportunity
20:24For cradle death
20:26You're here with me
20:29And all these other shit birds
20:35And all this shit
20:38Man, why she ain't in a shoe?
20:40Janay guy sent a shoe just for talking
20:42Quiet or you'll go with her
20:44It weren't my fault
20:45I was just doing it as the spirit commanded
20:47Fuck are you
20:48Fuck are you Joan of Arc?
20:50No, I'm from Waynesboro
20:52My name is Tiffany
20:52She knows what your fucking name is
20:55And you guys can kill each other on your own time
20:57Hey Bennett
20:58Grab some retards and go start the demo
21:01Excuse me?
21:03Yes
21:04Can we get some masks
21:07For the mold
21:09And the rat shit dust
21:19Betty, go see if you can find some dust masks in the tool shed
21:22Okay
21:23Resty, you go outside
21:26Start bringing in those sheets of drywall
21:27Wait a minute
21:28What?
21:30I don't want it
21:32Here
21:33Oh please
21:36That's why this whole thing happened
21:38God's angry that there's an abomination in the church
21:41And if you don't get rid of it
21:42It's just gonna keep on happening
21:43Alright, you listen to me
21:45You are not an agent of God, okay?
21:48God can do so much better than you
21:51You must know that, right?
21:53Know what?
21:53Jesus Christ
21:54How the fuck did you survive infancy?
21:57My auntie held my mom
21:58That's a rhetorical question!
22:00Do you not understand what a fucking rhetorical question is?
22:04Sophia just cares about the church
22:06And she just wants to help
22:08Help clean up the mess you made
22:11You see there, Pensatucky?
22:12That's just what I've been saying the whole time
22:13You're an idiot
22:17I wanna fuck Jesus in his hand hole
22:24All right
22:26Let's get to work
22:55I have a back
23:10Hey, I thought that we might get masks, too.
23:15There's, uh, not enough.
23:19That's what you get for acting up with it.
23:21Okay.
23:22So about the chicken.
23:24What about it?
23:25It's like Red's version of the white whale.
23:26No, no, no. I saw it. I really did.
23:28All right. It's just you and the crackheads, then.
23:31But at least you're getting in good with Captain Ahab.
23:34And better her ship than the ocean.
23:36So I take it you're not gonna come look for it after work?
23:40What, the chicken?
23:41We're gonna search the yard.
23:44Morello invited me.
23:47Morello and I are sort of taking a break.
23:50I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?
23:52Yeah, she, uh, still thinks her relationship with her fiancé isn't doomed.
23:57What? She'll be back.
24:00Nothing less.
24:07Twenty.
24:11You got that? What's the score?
24:13Hold up. Hold up. Let me add it up.
24:21Red's looking for the chicken again.
24:23That bitch is crazy.
24:25Who gives a shit about a chicken?
24:27Maybe it's not the chicken, but what's within the chicken?
24:30You trying to sound deep?
24:32Nah.
24:33My boy Potato Chip told me that when he was down,
24:36they used to bring in dope by putting that shit inside birds.
24:41Chicken?
24:42Nah. I think it was like a pigeon or something.
24:44Did they stick it up the butt?
24:45Nah.
24:46They put it in a little baggie, stuff it down the throat.
24:50But maybe they put it in the butt, too.
24:52Baba, Dios, ayúdame.
24:53There's no chicken.
24:55That's a fairy tale.
25:00My boy said that shit's worth like $1,000, yo.
25:04And that's just from what they put inside a pigeon.
25:07A chicken's got a much bigger butt.
25:13Are you kidding me?
25:18You have to be fucking with me.
25:20You too.
25:21I'm not stupid, but I want to see the stupid ones.
25:26Yo, Spanish mommy's got something going on.
25:30Ain't you going, too?
25:32No.
25:33No.
25:35You'd rather sit and scribble love notes.
25:38No, don't play dumb.
25:38I know what you're doing.
25:40I seen you leave a kite, and I know who for.
25:42You followed me?
25:43I'm telling you, you're wasting your time with that one.
25:46Not that you're not pretty.
25:48I don't mean it like that.
25:51It's just...
25:52You're gonna fuck a guard, fuck a fat one.
25:54That way they're more appreciative.
25:56Let you sneak in cigarettes, maybe bring you McDonald's.
25:59Is that how you really think?
26:00That's how you need to start thinking.
26:01I'm trying to look out for you.
26:03I don't fuck dudes for Big Macs.
26:05But you fuck them.
26:07So what do you fuck them for?
26:09Love?
26:10Aye.
26:26Daya?
26:28Daya!
26:30Hi, baby.
26:32Hello, my little angel.
26:34How are you doing?
26:38Where's your brother and sister's?
26:40I don't know.
26:42I'm hungry.
26:43There's food in the kitchen.
26:44Why didn't you...
26:50Go ahead.
26:51I'll go.
26:54And Paco's like,
26:56he's not an eggplant.
26:57He's retarded.
27:06What do you want?
27:07What are you doing in here?
27:08Get out.
27:09Eva's hungry.
27:10I need to make her something to eat.
27:11So make her something?
27:15But hey,
27:16you better make me something too if you're in here.
27:18You can't eat that.
27:19It's shaped like animals.
27:20So I don't give a fuck.
27:21Tastes the same.
27:22But it's made for kids.
27:24I'm just trying to look out for you
27:25so people don't think you're a faggot.
27:28You want to wear Superman undies
27:30and eat kids' food?
27:31Be my guest.
27:32Maybe I should get you a propeller beanie
27:34and you can hang out in the corner.
27:43Go out and buy some real food.
27:48Keep the change.
27:51Why smile?
27:55Cesar, how much longer do we have to do this here?
27:58Not long.
27:59Pepe may have found a new spot.
28:02What's the matter?
28:03You don't like me anymore?
28:14All right.
28:16Extend that rear leg.
28:19Challenge yourselves.
28:20But don't forget to breathe.
28:22What do I do?
28:23My arms.
28:24Extend the arms.
28:27Soft eyes, Morello.
28:33Excuse me.
28:34What's happening?
28:35We got AA.
28:36No, not right now.
28:37You don't.
28:38We're doing yoga.
28:39This is our time.
28:40Well, they sent us here
28:41because the chapel's wrecked.
28:43Now, don't worry.
28:45You just keep on doing what you're doing.
28:47Yeah, I've seen one of these
28:48downward-facing doggy styles.
28:51Soft eyes, Morello.
28:54Soft eyes.
28:55This is unacceptable.
28:56Norma, take over for me.
28:58I'm getting caputo.
29:09I'm sorry, am I disturbing you?
29:15Oh, man.
29:16I did it.
29:16I fucked up your son.
29:18No.
29:19I wouldn't want to accidentally
29:20kick you in the face.
29:25So we do not lose heart.
29:27Though our outer self is wasting away,
29:29our inner self is being renewed
29:31day by day.
29:33What's that?
29:33Corinthians 4, 16.
29:36It's just something I say to myself
29:37and I think my ass looks fat.
29:39So you do understand
29:40what I've been going through?
29:41Oh, changes in the body
29:42can be painful.
29:43But remember,
29:44your body is just a ship.
29:46Your soul is a passenger.
29:49There's another passage here.
29:51So you've been through menopause?
29:52Oh, yes, dear.
29:54Did you just pray
29:57that you get through it?
29:58More or less.
30:00What's the more part
30:01and the less?
30:02I also exercise regularly.
30:05See,
30:06it's especially hard for me
30:08because
30:09it's taken me so long
30:10to get to this point
30:11and
30:13I'm just not ready
30:14to give it up, you know?
30:15Yes, you said.
30:17And I've sacrificed so much.
30:19Right.
30:20And I feel like finally,
30:23finally I'm the woman
30:25that God intended me to be.
30:27You know,
30:28that's wonderful.
30:29Yeah.
30:31You're not getting my hormones.
30:34Now,
30:35shall we return to scripture?
30:38You knew?
30:40This whole time?
30:41I figured it out
30:42when you thought
30:43Stations of the Cross
30:44meant Christian radio.
30:45So you've been playing with me?
30:47You may be unhappy,
30:49but it has nothing to do
30:50with your body.
30:51If you're truly a woman,
30:52you'd never be happy
30:53with that anyway.
30:54You have guilt.
30:57About what?
30:59About leaving your wife
31:00to take care of Michael alone.
31:03About Michael being...
31:04Don't you talk to me about that!
31:06You don't get to talk to me about that!
31:08Sophia!
31:08Leave me alone!
31:12So there I am,
31:13topless.
31:14Sitting on this bulldozer
31:15like in a construction site.
31:17So I'm sitting there,
31:18barbecue sauce on my titties,
31:20and I'm like,
31:20what the fuck?
31:22again.
31:24And then I look down,
31:29and I see,
31:32there's this dude
31:33down on the ground
31:34with his head
31:34by like the tire.
31:36And then I look close,
31:38and I recognize
31:39it's the bum
31:39from the night before
31:40that was hollering at me
31:41outside of Pizzerina Uno.
31:43And when I look closer,
31:45I see the dude
31:46is wearing my shirt,
31:47and he's got barbecue sauce
31:48all over his face,
31:49and he's...
31:52He's dead.
31:55And that's when I knew
31:56it was time to make a change.
32:01Almost the exact same thing
32:02happened to me,
32:03but it was tuna salad.
32:05All right.
32:06We will now once again
32:08go into a forward bend,
32:10and when you're ready,
32:12relax back into shavasana.
32:14Anyone else feel like sharing today?
32:19Anybody?
32:20Oh, sure.
32:29I don't have a great
32:30rock-bottom story
32:32because my rock-bottom
32:33is happening right now.
32:36Not that you're not all great,
32:38but I guess I just thought
32:40I'd never be here.
32:42You know, I thought...
32:43I thought I was someone
32:44who was in control,
32:47and I was in control
32:48for a while
32:50when I only dealt heroin.
32:53Well, not even dealt.
32:53I mean, I was an importer.
32:58But, um...
32:59Yeah, I was going through
33:00a breakup,
33:01and it was around.
33:05Actually, I think it's more accurate
33:06to say that I was abandoned.
33:09But...
33:11Anyway, I started using.
33:13Are you finished?
33:16Yes, thank you.
33:17That was wonderful.
33:18Heroin was the best girlfriend
33:20that I ever had.
33:21You know, she always
33:23made me feel better,
33:25and she was always available.
33:30But even the best girls
33:31will fuck you over, you know?
33:33Yeah, you would fucking know,
33:34wouldn't you?
33:41Damn.
33:42I thought yoga was supposed
33:43to relax you.
33:44You want to know
33:45if she fingered her?
33:48I think that's been established.
33:49Please, Dad, no jokes.
33:50I can't take it right now.
33:52Howard, leave him alone.
33:53You leave me alone.
33:54Larry, have you weatherized yet?
33:56I know it looks tacky,
33:57but if you put up the plastic,
33:58you'll save a lot of money
33:59on heating.
34:00Those windows are very old.
34:02I'm going to, Mara.
34:04And I'm sorry
34:05I'm late with the rent now.
34:06It's all right.
34:07As long as you take care of us
34:08when we're dying.
34:09You might want to think
34:10about getting a job
34:10at some point.
34:11He has a job.
34:12He's a writer.
34:13All it takes is one article.
34:15For what?
34:15To get paid 50 bucks?
34:17To lead to bigger things.
34:18You have any projects
34:19you're working on?
34:20Yes, Mom.
34:22As a matter of fact, I do.
34:23I'm working on an article
34:23right now.
34:24What's it about?
34:25It's a trend piece
34:27about something called edging.
34:29Mm-hmm.
34:35It's when you have
34:37sex or masturbate
34:38without coming.
34:40Without coming?
34:41It sounds unhealthy.
34:43A man needs to come.
34:44Larry, tell me you're coming.
34:45I shouldn't have said anything.
34:47Howard, tell Larry
34:47he needs to come.
34:49You could get blocked up.
34:50I'll tell him.
34:51Listen to your father.
34:52You two want some soup.
34:54The girl made soup.
34:55Soup would be nice.
34:56I'm fine.
34:57I'll get for both of you.
35:03Dad, please.
35:04I know you don't like Piper,
35:05but I'm asking you
35:06to help me.
35:07Who said I don't like her?
35:08I like her.
35:08She's the nicest fellow
35:09you've ever dated.
35:10Stop.
35:11I just think she's a bit wispy.
35:14I thought you'd end up
35:14with someone more substantial.
35:16Are you talking about
35:16her moral character
35:17or the size of her breasts?
35:18Please.
35:19I'm an ass man.
35:20He's an ass man.
35:23You asked about
35:24her girlfriend?
35:25Ex-girlfriend.
35:27I have looked over
35:28the indictment.
35:30And?
35:31It states that
35:33unequivocally
35:33Alex Voss
35:35gave her name.
35:39Good.
35:41Good?
35:42How is that good?
35:43It's good
35:43that Piper will know
35:44for sure.
35:46And she'll hate her more,
35:47so she'll stay away from her.
35:50Listen, Larry,
35:51don't tell her.
35:52Why?
35:53Prison is a fishbowl, son.
35:55The last thing she needs
35:56is an enemy to obsess over
35:57to something stupid
35:58out of anger.
35:59She should serve her time
36:00and leave
36:00without any trouble.
36:02I'm not gonna lie
36:03to my fiancé.
36:04Why not?
36:05Because our relationship
36:05doesn't work that way.
36:07Oh, yes, yes.
36:08It's based on trust
36:10and honesty.
36:11Even though she neglected
36:12to tell you
36:12that she's in there
36:13with this Alex
36:14until now.
36:15Okay, first of all,
36:16it's only been three weeks
36:17and she didn't want
36:18to tell me
36:19because she didn't want
36:19me to get upset.
36:21So, why should you
36:22upset her?
36:25No.
36:27No, I'm not gonna lie
36:29to protect her
36:30like she's some
36:30helpless thing, okay?
36:33Honesty is the best policy.
36:34I really believe that.
36:37Larry,
36:39remember all those
36:40special achievement ribbons
36:41you earned as a child?
36:44Yeah.
36:44You notice how there was
36:45never a public ceremony?
36:47You did win that one
36:48for Titus Cubby
36:50in preschool,
36:50but the truth is
36:55overrated.
36:57My advice,
36:59keep her focused
37:00on her life outside,
37:02her business,
37:03her friends,
37:04the wedding,
37:05whether or not
37:06you actually
37:07go through with it.
37:09Here, Larry,
37:10eat your soup.
37:12You're the best
37:13soup eater in America.
37:30what's going on?
37:32There's a thousand dollars
37:33inside a chicken somewhere.
37:35Everyone's looking for it.
37:37What?
37:38You.
37:40This is your fault.
37:41Huh?
37:42You've been blabbing
37:43all over about
37:43the chicken,
37:44haven't you?
37:45Not really.
37:46But even if I had,
37:47you never told me
37:48it was a secret.
37:49Because I thought
37:50you had common sense.
37:51Black girls hear
37:52about a chicken.
37:53Of course,
37:53this will happen.
37:54Why?
37:55Because all black people
37:55love chicken?
37:56Don't be racist.
37:57Because they're all
37:58on heroin.
37:59Somebody's been telling
38:00them there's heroin
38:01in a chicken.
38:02I heard it's a gun.
38:03Okay,
38:04I had nothing
38:04to do with this.
38:05You cannot blame
38:06this on me.
38:07I just told you
38:07what I saw.
38:08Right,
38:09what you saw.
38:10Why are you using
38:11air quotes?
38:11Are you saying
38:12that I'm lying?
38:13Maybe you wanted
38:13to impress people.
38:14I did not even know
38:15this was a thing
38:16that was impressive.
38:17If she hasn't been
38:18scared off,
38:18the Spanish
38:19or the blacks have her.
38:21Those Spanish
38:21probably won't even
38:22eat her.
38:23Just cut her throat
38:24and drink her blood
38:25or something else
38:26superstitious.
38:28All I wanted
38:29was to eat the chicken
38:30that is smarter
38:30than other chickens
38:31and to absorb its power.
38:33And make a nice Kiev.
38:36Blow well.
38:40So what?
38:42You're just gonna give up?
38:45Huh?
38:47Just because
38:48of a little competition?
38:51That chicken
38:51is out there, Red.
38:52And it's waiting for you
38:54to eat it.
38:56And you have been waiting
38:57for a very long time
38:58to eat it.
39:00What do those other girls
39:01have that you don't have?
39:03They have dogs.
39:04Dogs.
39:05Does not a chicken catch?
39:09Determination, Red.
39:11That's what catches chickens.
39:13Who wants that chicken
39:15the most?
39:15Who will prepare
39:17that chicken most expertly?
39:19The woman who dreams
39:21about it.
39:22The woman
39:23who was born
39:25to eat that chicken.
39:29You.
39:35That's mine!
39:37That's my chicken!
39:43What the hell's the matter
39:44with you?
39:46You trying out
39:47for the retard Olympics?
39:49Somebody shoved
39:50some dynamite
39:51up your ass?
39:54Do you want
39:55to get shot?
39:57Trust me.
39:58We got a lot
39:59of bullets
40:00up in that guard tower.
40:02So if that's
40:03what you want
40:03just try that
40:05shit again.
40:08You are not
40:10supposed to run.
40:12Reminds me
40:13never to listen
40:14to you.
40:16So why
40:16are you running?
40:18Huh?
40:22For a fucking
40:23chicken?
40:24Who the fuck
40:25told you
40:26there was a chicken
40:26in my yard?
41:00But that's
41:01not fair!
41:02It's more
41:02than fair.
41:04You know
41:04the rules
41:05about running.
41:06Who's next?
41:07Chapman!
41:11You're gonna have
41:12a swell time
41:12down the hill
41:13Blondie.
41:14Trust me
41:15it's gonna
41:16break you.
41:17Yes.
41:19And that
41:20was not
41:20necessary.
41:22Please close
41:22the door
41:23on your way
41:23out.
41:24Attention
41:25inmates.
41:26Multiple
41:26code violations
41:27will result
41:28in loss
41:28of privilege.
41:29So I'm
41:30not sure
41:30if I have
41:31the rumors
41:31straight.
41:32Is the
41:33chicken
41:33filled with
41:34money or
41:35heroin or
41:36guns or
41:37candy?
41:38No,
41:38no.
41:39Mr. Healy
41:39this is...
41:40I'm not
41:40sending you
41:40down the hill.
41:42You made
41:42a mistake.
41:43You're new.
41:46Probably just
41:47wanted to
41:47impress people.
41:49Be a big
41:49shot.
41:51So you've
41:52started making
41:53up stories.
41:54No.
41:54It's all
41:55right.
41:56I understand.
41:58You think
41:58this is the
41:59first time
41:59that I've
42:00heard about
42:00the chicken?
42:02It's popular
42:03fiction.
42:04It's like
42:04global warming
42:05or female
42:07ejaculation.
42:08No,
42:09no.
42:09No,
42:10it's not.
42:10This is
42:10real.
42:11How is it
42:12real?
42:14Wait,
42:15which?
42:15The chicken
42:16and the...
42:20The chicken.
42:23There's a
42:23triple razor
42:24wire fence
42:25around this
42:26camp.
42:26It's impossible.
42:28And if you
42:29think the
42:29chickens can
42:30fly, well,
42:31we better go
42:32to Wikipedia
42:32right away.
42:33Oh, my God,
42:34you have the
42:35internet.
42:36Look,
42:37I don't care
42:38if you've
42:39seen this
42:40thing or not,
42:40but I don't
42:42want you
42:42exciting the
42:43other inmates
42:43with this
42:44kind of talk.
42:45They're not
42:46like you
42:46and me.
42:48They're less
42:49reasonable,
42:50less educated.
42:52And I don't
42:54want you
42:54making up
42:54stories to
42:55read.
42:56You know
42:57how Russians
42:57love chicken.
43:00Moving
43:00forward,
43:02I want you
43:02to keep
43:03your head
43:03down.
43:04Don't make
43:05any more
43:06boastful claims.
43:07Don't...
43:08See chicken.
43:09Exactly.
43:10Now repeat
43:11after me.
43:12There is
43:13no chicken.
43:14There never
43:14was any
43:14chicken.
43:15The chicken
43:16is an urban
43:16myth,
43:17a grand
43:18illusion,
43:19something to
43:19give your
43:20life meaning,
43:21but which is
43:22in fact not
43:22fair.
43:24We will
43:24make a
43:25poster.
43:27Yo,
43:27chicken lady.
43:30Got my
43:30visitation revoked
43:31because of you.
43:36What'd you get?
43:41shit fucking
43:42numb.
43:44I don't mess
43:45with no
43:46heroin,
43:46but I love
43:47me some
43:47candy.
43:48You better
43:49watch it
43:49with the
43:49stories.
43:50I didn't
44:00study.
44:02Still open?
44:09There's some
44:10tribal cultures.
44:11The transgender
44:12person is regarded
44:13as a shaman.
44:15You're trying to
44:16convert me to
44:16paganism now?
44:18Whatever works.
44:19It's not a very
44:20Catholic thing to
44:21say.
44:21I'm not here as a
44:22Catholic.
44:22I'm here as a
44:23friend.
44:25I'll cut your
44:26hair, but I
44:27ain't giving you
44:28no confession.
44:29I already know
44:30how I feel.
44:32I let him down.
44:35You're still here.
44:37And the best thing
44:38you can do for
44:39them is be strong
44:40inside.
44:41You already have
44:42the Playboy body.
44:43What do you do
44:44on reading Playboy?
44:45Oh, I read
44:46everything.
44:49Why did God have
44:50to give me that
44:50stupid penis?
44:51I don't know.
44:52Any more than I
44:53know why he gave
44:54men nipples.
44:55They were
44:56mysteries.
44:57And as a
44:58Catholic, I enjoy
44:59them.
45:00The mysteries,
45:01that is.
45:02I enjoy the
45:03nipples.
45:05So now they
45:06think that I'm
45:07a writer, that I
45:07made it up.
45:08I don't understand.
45:10Why would I make
45:11something like that
45:12up?
45:13I don't know.
45:14Hey, you have
45:15that call with
45:15Weiner later,
45:16right?
45:16Yes.
45:17You ready?
45:18I'm ready.
45:19That's good.
45:21Because I can't
45:22ask my parents for
45:23any more money,
45:24okay?
45:24No.
45:25Yes.
45:26And I can't
45:27ask mine either.
45:28Okay, we can't
45:29ask anyone's parents
45:30for any more money.
45:32So make it a
45:32slam dunk, all
45:33right?
45:34By the time you
45:35get out of prison,
45:36you'll be a big-time
45:36soap baron, I'll
45:38be a famous
45:38journalist, and
45:40we'll start our
45:40life.
45:42Life already has
45:43started.
45:44I'm in here.
45:45And I'm here
45:45with you.
45:46But let's just be
45:47honest with each
45:48other, okay,
45:48Pipes?
45:48I want to know
45:49what's going on.
45:51Yes, I'm sorry
45:51that I didn't tell
45:52you about Alex.
45:54It's okay.
45:55It has nothing to
45:56do with me being
45:56attracted to her.
45:58Really.
45:59I just, I didn't
46:01want you to know
46:01that I was in here
46:02with somebody that
46:02I hate so much.
46:05Oh my God, I
46:07swear, sometimes
46:07when I'm around
46:08her, I feel like
46:08I'm going crazy.
46:10Well, as long as
46:12you keep your figure.
46:13Hey, did I tell you
46:14what happened in Yoka?
46:15No.
46:16She was just there
46:17trying to antagonize
46:19me.
46:19I swear, Larry, I could
46:21smash her in the face.
46:25Okay, well, don't,
46:26don't do anything
46:26like that, okay?
46:29Anyhow, about Alex.
46:32I bet it was her.
46:34I bet she's the one
46:35who's been spreading
46:35rumors about me.
46:36I bet she told
46:37everybody that I lied
46:38about the chicken.
46:39Okay, Piper, let's
46:40drop the chicken for now.
46:41It's not important.
46:43It's my rep.
46:44Piper, it's not
46:45important.
46:46This is real life.
46:47Please don't get
46:48dragged into the
46:49prison drama.
46:51Look, I know it's
46:52like a fishbowl in
46:53there, but try.
46:54Focus.
46:55Larry, I know that
46:56you're right, but I
46:57have to live in this
46:57fishbowl, and it's
46:59just...
47:00Just let him do
47:01his grumpy and
47:01have a good time.
47:02Hard.
47:06I know.
47:09So, what were
47:10you saying?
47:11Oh, about Alex.
47:13I talked to my dad
47:14about the indictment.
47:16And?
47:22She didn't name
47:23you.
47:24I guess it was
47:25someone else from
47:26the ring.
47:31Piper, are you
47:31there?
47:32Yeah, I'm here.
47:33Did you hear me?
47:34Yes, I heard you.
47:36I know it's
47:36surprising, but this
47:37is...
47:38Piper, this is good,
47:39really.
47:39Because, you know,
47:42now you don't have
47:42to feel crazy or
47:43angry.
47:44You can just...
47:46Just do your time
47:48and stay away from
47:49that asshole.
47:50It's just that
47:51Larry, now this...
47:55This means that
47:56I'm the asshole.
47:57Swing Cisco
47:59Detail, GM cell
48:00check, commence
48:01at 21-30 hours.
48:04Let's go
48:04to our
48:05school.
48:05Thanks.
48:06Hey.
48:09Come on.
48:14Hey.
48:15Hey.
48:18Hey.
48:19Hey.
48:20Hey.
48:46What are you talking about, sis?
48:47I can't make it.
48:48I don't know.
48:49That's what he said.
48:49I take a fall for that motherfucker.
48:51The least he could do is visit.
48:54Is he paying rent?
48:55Is he buying groceries?
48:57Yeah, but I don't want him in the apartment.
48:58Why?
48:59Is he bringing girls home?
49:01No, because he...
49:02Hey, I have an idea.
49:03You want to ask how we're doing?
49:05Mommy.
49:05Answer the question.
49:07Is he fucking around?
49:08I did answer the question.
49:10You know we took a bus three hours to get here?
49:13Mommy, I made a paper airplane.
49:17Are you fucking him?
49:18Please, you've got to be kidding me.
49:21Mommy.
49:22Why?
49:23I made a paper airplane.
49:25Where's your stupid paper airplane?
49:27At home.
49:28Well, then why do I care?
49:29You want to show me something?
49:30You can't show me something I can't see.
49:33What, are you stupid?
49:37You tell that motherfucker he better visit.
49:39He owes me.
49:52Good, you're home.
49:55Won't you make us something to eat?
50:06Take off.
50:07Be out.
50:11You teach me so big, your mom's so small, huh?
50:13I guess I get them from my dad.
50:15Yeah?
50:30You said five minutes.
50:32Please.
50:33I just need five more minutes.
50:35That's all.
50:35This is a very important phone call.
50:38I'm on hold.
50:40It's about my company.
50:41I don't doubt you even got a company while I talk.
50:44See?
50:45There you go.
50:46Piper?
50:46Are you still there?
50:47Yes, I'm right here.
50:48What's going on?
50:48I'm in a conference with Weiner on the other line.
50:50How do I punch you in?
50:52I don't know.
50:53It's your phone.
50:54All right.
50:54Hold on.
50:55I have to ask Pete.
50:56I'll be right back.
50:56Pete?
50:56No, no, no.
50:57Wait, I don't.
50:57Paula.
50:58Paula.
50:58Paula.
51:03We can say that now to you.
51:05She's looking at home.
51:06She's looking at home.
51:06I'm trying to feel it better.
51:08You guys can feel it better.
51:12Oh.
51:13Oh.
51:15Hey.
51:17Hey.
51:18Hey.
51:18Hey.
51:19Hey.
51:19Get home.
51:20There it is.
51:21Look.
51:22There it is.
51:22There's the...
51:23Hey.
51:24Hey.
51:24You using the phone?
51:26Yes, I'm on hold.
51:27Hey.
51:27Hey.
51:28Make your call.
51:28Free up the phone now.
51:35Okay.
51:36Piper, I figured it out.
51:37Everyone's on the other line.
51:38I'm punching you in, okay?
51:40Piper?
51:42Piper, are you there?
51:44Dandelion ain't here right now.
51:46She gone to chase the chicken.
51:55Chapman!
51:58What did I tell you about running in the yard?
52:00I'm sorry, sir.
52:01It's just that...
52:01Both feet on the ground at all times.
52:02What?
52:03Nothing.
52:03Just trying to get some fitness, that's all.
52:06Two speeds in my yard.
52:07Walk and shuffle.
52:08Hил Dandelion ain't here right now.
52:08I got two more Nev että Здесь on.
52:09Oh, yeah.
52:10Well, yeah.
52:11What's going on?
52:28I believe it already.
52:32or whatever you want me to get the ball.
52:32Where you can't find them,
52:33Yeah, you're over there.
53:42C-H-I-C-K-E-N
53:45That's the way to spell chicken
53:47C-H-I-C-K-E-N
53:50That's my friend the chicken
53:55C-H-I-C-K-E-N
53:58That's the way to spell chicken
54:00C-H-I-C-K-E-N
54:03That's my friend the chicken
54:06C-H-I-C-K-E-N
54:13C-H-I-C-K-E-N
54:36C-H-I-C-E-N
55:06C-H-I-C-E-N
55:36C-H-I-C-E-N
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