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مسلسل Last Man Standing مترجم - Episode 5

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Transcript
00:03Hey, how's soccer?
00:04Oh, another thrilling 0-0 tie.
00:08Which is why soccer is America's fastest-growing sport.
00:13I don't know why coach plays me in defense.
00:15I score tons of goals in practice.
00:16Does he know you want to play forward?
00:18He should.
00:19Oh, did you tell him?
00:20No, but when he put me at sweeper,
00:22I folded my arms and made a face like this.
00:28So the coach is supposed to know how you feel
00:29based on that look?
00:30Yes.
00:33If you want something, honey, you're going to have to speak up.
00:35You know, sometimes if a door doesn't open,
00:37you're going to have to break it down.
00:39You want to play forward?
00:40You got to be forward.
00:42Like it says on your mug.
00:43Exactly.
00:45I don't want to take someone else's position
00:47and hurt their feelings.
00:48Hurt their feelings, baby.
00:49This is what sports are all about,
00:50hurting people's feelings.
00:52If you're not hurting somebody's feelings,
00:54you're losing.
00:57Now there's your mug.
01:00Are you going to speak up?
01:04Am I supposed to understand what you mean by that?
01:07Mm-hmm.
01:18Warning.
01:27What's the matter?
01:30Don't engage her.
01:31She'll stop working and start complaining.
01:34It's just ridiculous.
01:36Too late.
01:37I don't get it.
01:38If colleges really wanted people to go to their stupid schools,
01:41why do they make their applications like 20 pages long?
01:44You know, some of the books you read in college
01:46are actually a little longer than that.
01:49How many of these applications have you finished?
01:51Um, almost one.
01:54One?
01:55Almost.
01:56Oh, I recognize those forms.
01:59You are taken out of this joint.
02:01Yes.
02:01It must be miserable living in this palatial cage with free food.
02:06So, if you had your first choice, where would you go?
02:08Um, to the recycling bin with these.
02:12Mandy, college is important.
02:14Without college, there would be no college football.
02:20Way to sell it.
02:22You know, Albert Einstein never went to college.
02:24That's a myth.
02:26Well, Khloe Kardashian never went to college.
02:29And she knew it was one of those two.
02:33There's only one application you need to fill out.
02:35You're going to Michigan.
02:35Ohio State.
02:36Here we go.
02:37Maize and blue.
02:38Scarlet and gray.
02:39You see this?
02:39You were supposed to go to one of their stupid schools to satisfy them.
02:42So, thanks for nothing.
02:43You know, that's actually why I got pregnant.
02:45Just to mess with you.
02:46Face.
02:48Dad, no.
02:49Please don't.
02:50Hail to the...
02:51In old Ohio, there's a team that's going well.
02:55Hail to the victors.
02:58Leaners are the best.
02:59Hey, hey, hey, hey.
03:01Hail to the...
03:01What?
03:02You know how you said I should speak up when I want something?
03:04Yes.
03:04I want this to stop.
03:10All right.
03:11As you all know, bow season has begun and we are moving the Elkhorn series, especially
03:15the 1712 online.
03:17A lot of hits on this.
03:18The reps are showing you how to use them.
03:20I want you to get out there and push this product.
03:21I want the forest in Colorado to look like a scene out of Braveheart.
03:26Yeah.
03:28What's Braveheart?
03:31Braveheart.
03:33Braveheart.
03:34Mel Gibson.
03:35Right.
03:35The guy from, uh, What Women Want.
03:39It's bow season.
03:41Let's butch it up a little bit.
03:43Hey, Mike.
03:44Not just bow season.
03:45That's right.
03:46It's also the sportsman's invitational softball tourney this Sunday.
03:50Yeah.
03:52Right.
03:52We're gonna show those guys at Ted's Tackle Box that their bait does, in fact, stink.
03:58Yeah.
03:59Hey.
03:59You still pitching?
04:00You know it.
04:01You still be chomping down corn dogs out there in right field?
04:05Yeah.
04:05It's a tradition.
04:07It is, isn't it?
04:09Well, softball, bow season.
04:11Ed is probably walking on air, huh?
04:13I've never been so miserable in my life.
04:16Gallstone?
04:17I wish.
04:19I'd give my left nut for a gallstone.
04:23This is worse.
04:24The Parks Department just called.
04:26If we want to use a public space for the tournament, the teams have to be co-ed.
04:30Yeah.
04:31Yeah.
04:32Or what?
04:33Well, if we don't have at least one lady on the field, they'll pull our permit.
04:37What's the big deal?
04:38My ultimate frisbee team was co-ed, and we won the title.
04:44Well, we would have if we had kept score.
04:49Somebody get me a bat.
04:50That could look like an accident.
04:51I will.
04:55Look, I'm just psyched to play softball with you guys.
04:57And if we don't go co-ed, then we don't play.
05:00And if we don't play, you'll all have to spend Sunday with your wives.
05:04Pippi has a point.
05:07All right, guys.
05:08Let's go.
05:08Show of hands.
05:09Show of hands.
05:09No, no, no.
05:10Let's do a secret ballot, you know, to protect the innocent and the timid.
05:14You're right.
05:15Secret ballot.
05:16The way we voted to switch from bagels to donuts in the break room.
05:21It was a high point of democracy that day.
05:24Only slightly overshadowed by that massive heart attack Curly had.
05:29All right, now.
05:30You can count on me, you, the guys in guns and ammo, and Forklift Frankie.
05:36But, you know, I'm just a little worried about those fellas and gift wrapping.
05:43They know it's our team.
05:44They're gonna do the right thing.
05:45Well, I hope so.
05:46Sports are the last bastion of male camaraderie, you know.
05:49I mean, we have to make a stand.
05:51Women are banging at the door and we have to stop them kicking it in.
05:55All right, come in.
05:56All right, pass these.
05:57I'm with you, please, guys.
05:59Gentlemen, just mark down co-ed if you want to play with girls.
06:04And, uh, just Ed, if you prefer men.
06:15That didn't come out right, did it?
06:27Camping is an activity we can all do together.
06:29But when did it become mandatory that men and women do everything together?
06:33Women want to do everything men do.
06:35Sports. Women want to have sports.
06:37Sporting events with men.
06:38I don't get it.
06:39Because if you beat a woman, you're a bully.
06:40If you lose to a woman, you're an embarrassment.
06:44And then you have daughters and it throws everything out of whack.
06:47I want a world where women can do everything a man can do.
06:51They just don't want to.
06:55Okay?
06:56Buy some tents.
06:59Hey, Mike, you're counting the votes.
07:03All tied up with one vote left to count.
07:06Mr. B, can I get a drum roll?
07:08What do you think?
07:11And the final vote is...
07:13Co-ed, all right, yeah!
07:16We did it!
07:19Guys!
07:21Oh, come on, I know half of you voted with me.
07:23Larry?
07:24Come on!
07:25Larry, you...
07:28Well, what's done is done, huh?
07:31The majority voted to go co-ed, and we have to honor that decision.
07:35You're gonna hunt them down like dogs, aren't you?
07:39Every last one of them.
07:49I hate writing these essays.
07:52Oh, I remember it being kind of fun.
07:54Mom and Dad aren't listening, you can be normal.
07:59I'm serious, what's your topic?
08:01I'm supposed to write about someone who inspires me,
08:04but I'm worried they're not gonna know who Kesha is.
08:08Okay.
08:09Well, why don't you write about your favorite author?
08:12Write about a writer?
08:13That's like painting a painting of a painter.
08:18All right, scoot over.
08:18I'm gonna help you scoot over.
08:19Really? You're sure you're not too tired from work?
08:21No, no, no, come on, it's exciting.
08:22There's so much to learn.
08:23Ugh, you're always so into it.
08:25Yeah, well, I did plan on becoming a doctor,
08:27and traditionally, doctors go to college.
08:31Come on, Mandy, you have to have dreams.
08:33I do.
08:35I want to be a fashion designer.
08:39Shockingly young fashion designer.
08:40If I go to school for four years,
08:42I won't be shockingly young anymore.
08:45You'll still be shockingly cute.
08:50Hey, stop fighting!
08:54We're not fighting.
08:55Yeah, we're totally getting along here.
08:57Well, knock it off.
09:01How are you doing the applications?
09:02Ugh.
09:04Just do the Michigan one first.
09:06You are gonna love Ann Arbor.
09:07Who's she?
09:08Oh.
09:14Honey, I think sending Mandy to Michigan is a reach.
09:18We gotta think of something else.
09:19A trade school, the TSA, a short order cook.
09:23Or maybe even Ohio State.
09:29Yeah, I just don't know if forcing Mandy to go to college is the right move.
09:32Yeah, what horrible parents we are dropping a hundred grand so she can read books and meet boys.
09:38I mean, if she's not into it.
09:39Not into it.
09:39A lot of things we're not into we do.
09:41I'm not into kale, but it keeps showing up on my dinner plate.
09:49Wow, you are in a snarky mood tonight.
09:52Snarky?
09:52Is that what you come up with?
09:53Well, maybe I'm working through something.
09:55Well, go get a brain muffin.
10:00It's not that kind of problem.
10:02I want to play softball with my buddies, right?
10:04But when people tell me my daughters can't do something that I know they can,
10:08I feel like, you know, punch them in the face.
10:10But I don't want to be a jerk.
10:11And then, you know, I don't want to punch myself in the face.
10:13That's just weird.
10:17What the hell are you talking about?
10:19You know our corporate softball team.
10:21Master batters.
10:27We have voted to go co-ed.
10:30Really?
10:30Yeah.
10:32And you're feeling guilty because you voted against it.
10:36Actually, I'm nervous because I voted for it.
10:40I don't think Ed's going to like it.
10:41I'm afraid of what he's going to do when he finds out.
10:43I think I'm going to have that brain muffin.
10:52Boy is sleeping with that goofy smile on his face that lets me know he is your grandson.
10:58I sleep with the smile on my face, huh?
11:01You smile.
11:02You frown.
11:03You yell at other drivers.
11:05It's a lot like when you're awake.
11:11Still feeling guilty about how you voted?
11:14I thought he'd be such a good president.
11:20Co-ed softball is going to change the whole dynamic at work.
11:24Well, does the woman have to work at Outdoor Man?
11:26No.
11:27They've opened up to family or friends.
11:30Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
11:32Yeah.
11:32Why don't I play?
11:33Yeah, right.
11:34Eve, get in here a minute.
11:35Oh.
11:35No, no, no.
11:36Why not?
11:36She's all league in three sports.
11:38Come on.
11:38Why not?
11:39Why not what?
11:41No, your father has this crazy idea that you would want to play softball with a bunch
11:45of gassy, beer-swilling slobs.
11:48Heck yeah, I do.
11:49Eve, I think it would be fun.
11:52Good for speaking up.
11:53This is great.
11:53You can't say no now.
11:54What kind of lesson would that be teaching her?
11:56It's preposterous.
11:57She is 13 years old.
11:58So what?
11:59Bam!
12:00She got you again.
12:07Mmm.
12:10What are you reading?
12:11Mandy's college essay.
12:14My hero, Virginia Woolf.
12:17Hey.
12:17That's Kristen's favorite author, isn't it?
12:21Did Kristen write this?
12:24Nice work, Castle.
12:30Hey.
12:31Nice essay, Mandy.
12:32Thanks, Mom.
12:33Yeah, Virginia Woolf.
12:34Impressive.
12:35Yeah.
12:35I've always loved her work.
12:36Oh.
12:38So, uh, do you have a favorite?
12:40All of them.
12:42Mandy?
12:42Yeah.
12:43Name one.
12:45I couldn't choose.
12:47Spell Wolf.
12:53I don't want to.
12:54I don't want to.
12:55I don't want to.
12:55I don't want to.
12:55Oh, you know you can't submit this, right?
12:58Um.
12:58Mandy, you didn't write it.
13:00When did you figure it out?
13:01The first I in Virginia.
13:05Look, Kristen came home in the middle of working a double shift.
13:07She took the time to help me.
13:09If I didn't turn it in, it would be totally disrespectful.
13:10And I wasn't raised to treat people like that.
13:15When she gets this from you, she flees to avoid conflict.
13:18Mike?
13:26And then there were six.
13:31Hey, Ed.
13:32Look who I found in the parking lot.
13:34All league and three sports.
13:36All right.
13:38Eve of destruction.
13:39How are you, kiddo?
13:41Awesome, Mr. Alzate.
13:43Thanks for letting me play.
13:44Oh, no, no problem.
13:45There's nothing better than playing competitive sports with girls.
13:51Why don't we find you a uniform?
13:53Hey, Pete.
13:54Find her a uniform in the back stock room.
13:55See if you got something small that'll fit her.
13:58Look.
13:59Nobody's happy about this, but we have to have a woman doing it.
14:01Why not have it be Eve?
14:03She's fast.
14:04She's a great lead-off batter.
14:05I bat lead-off.
14:06Well, you still bat lead-off.
14:08She'll just go first.
14:13Hey, this kind of ruins the spirit of a secret ballot, doesn't it?
14:16The Bask are known for two things, all right?
14:20Delicious smoked meats and revenge.
14:27Psychological profiling, handwriting analysis?
14:30Are you getting close to finding the traitors?
14:33There are a few still eluding me.
14:34Hey, you know what they say.
14:36If you don't get that perp in 24 hours, it's hopeless.
14:39Who says that?
14:40You know.
14:42People.
14:45I can't stop now, you see, because that's treason.
14:47And you know what that means for the guilty?
14:50Paintball on the bare leg safety test.
14:53Tried and true.
14:53No reason to mix it up.
14:56Hey, guys.
14:57I've got some bad news.
14:59What is it, Kyle?
15:00You know the big plastic mousse out in front of the store?
15:02Yeah.
15:02Well, those jerks from Ted's Tackle Box painted a wiener on it.
15:10This is war.
15:11All right, all right.
15:12What do you got in there?
15:13Oh, Ed asked for it.
15:16You're a good kid, Kyle.
15:18Now roll up your pant leg.
15:23Is it gonna hurt?
15:25Have you ever had a bee sting?
15:26Yeah.
15:27Yeah.
15:28It's like a thousand of those.
15:40Hey, guys.
15:40Hey, guys.
15:41Listen up.
15:41Old buckshot here is cool.
15:43No need to change anything.
15:44We can all be ourselves around here, all right?
15:47All right.
15:47Sweet.
15:48Hey, listen up, guys.
15:49So a priest, a rabbi, and a very busty Methodist walk into a ball.
15:54Hey, Pete.
15:55Shut your pie hole.
15:59All right, guys.
16:00Let's get ready.
16:01Are we ready to kick some opponent?
16:05Can I say something?
16:07The rookies don't talk.
16:08Just ignore him.
16:09He's being crotchety to get some attention.
16:12Go ahead.
16:12Speak up.
16:12Nah, it's okay.
16:14Speak up.
16:14Remember what we talked about?
16:15Stand up for yourself.
16:17Okay.
16:18I was just wondering, can I pitch?
16:26You heard what he said.
16:27Rookies can't talk.
16:29Just the same.
16:30Just the same.
16:31Can you throw strikes?
16:34All day long.
16:36I like what I'm hearing.
16:38She's just a 13-year-old girl.
16:40I mean, how good could she be?
16:44Okay.
16:47All right, kid.
16:48Let's see how close you can come to that lamp on my desk, correct?
16:58It's pretty close.
17:04Hey.
17:05How'd it go?
17:06Great.
17:07We won.
17:07Baxter pitched a great game.
17:09Ah, that's my man.
17:10Not that Baxter the other one.
17:15Mom, we had so much fun.
17:17And then afterwards, we went out for ice cream and bourbon.
17:23I had the ice cream.
17:25None of this would have happened if Dan had told me to speak up for myself.
17:28Yeah.
17:30Ooh.
17:31Thanks, Daddy.
17:33You're welcome.
17:34You didn't mind not pitching, did you?
17:36Of course not.
17:37I mean, you did awesome in right field.
17:40Run along now.
17:45She's adorable.
17:47Maybe we should send her out to boarding school.
17:51You know what's great about having kids?
17:53Do tell.
17:54We get to take credit for everything they do.
17:57Well, thank God she's not robbing banks.
18:01Come on.
18:01There must have been a moment when you were watching Eve pitch that you felt pretty proud.
18:06Every single moment.
18:07Yeah.
18:12Ah, Mandy.
18:13Did you redo your essay?
18:14Sent my applications in.
18:15Huh.
18:16That's not what I asked.
18:18Is it your work or Kristen's?
18:20Ah, well, I couldn't have done it without her.
18:22You're being obnoxiously vague.
18:23What does that mean?
18:24It means what it means.
18:25I'm gonna go watch some TV in my room.
18:27You don't have a TV in your room.
18:28Oh, yeah.
18:29I know.
18:29I just wanted to make you say that out loud so you could hear how cruel it sounds.
18:36Oh, boy.
18:38What do we have?
18:38Who's Virginia Woolf or why I like shoes?
18:43Neither.
18:44Mandy rewrote her essay.
18:48Even when her own life didn't take the path she thought it would,
18:51she always helped others stay on theirs.
18:53She is the kindest person I know.
18:59She's my big sister.
19:05Ugh.
19:06No need to cry.
19:09Oh, come on.
19:10You're a little misty, too.
19:12Nah, I was...
19:13I just remembered how sad I was that Pluto's no longer a planet.
19:24Ed, can I talk to you about something?
19:26It's just one left, one left, Mikey.
19:29Just one left.
19:30Yeah, that's what I want to talk to you about.
19:34I know it was you, Mike.
19:36But I forgive you.
19:41And you want to know why I forgive you?
19:43Because we've had a great friendship for three decades.
19:46No.
19:49Well, you understand my predicament of raising daughters.
19:52Didn't even occur to me.
19:56Well, then why is it, Ed?
19:58Because when that little hothead of yours beamed that Jack Wang from Ted's Tackle Box,
20:03it was the greatest sports moment of my life, man.
20:08It was great.
20:08One of the guys standing there and his tooth fell out right when he's looking at me.
20:12He goes,
20:12It's just a game, little girl.
20:16I'm telling you.
20:17Oh, man, I can hardly wait for spring training.
20:20Now, you keep her on a good regimen over the winter, all right?
20:22She'll probably grow a couple inches.
20:24She'll get a little zip to that swing.
20:25Those SOBs will never know what hit them.
20:29Just roll up your pet leg.
20:42What's up?
20:47I think I want to go to college.
20:49I know, I know, I know.
20:50There's Boyd, and it's really expensive, and I don't even know if I deserve a second chance.
20:53It's just, it's just helping.
20:54Christy?
20:55Mandy reminded me that I still have dreams.
20:56Christy?
20:57What?
20:57Great minds think alike.
21:00Look what I've been looking at.
21:03Universities.
21:04I was just looking at four colleges within an hour of our doorstep,
21:08all of which are rated higher than Ohio State.
21:10I heard that!
21:14You better get started on your applications.
21:19Hm.
21:20Okay.
21:21Okay, well, here's the essay question.
21:23If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would it be?
21:26Gandhi.
21:27Why?
21:28More food for me.
21:34Wacky, wacky, wacky, wacky.
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