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مسلسل How I Met Your Mother مترجم - Episode 2
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00:14Okay, where was I?
00:16You were telling us how you met Mom.
00:17In excruciating detail.
00:19Right.
00:20So, back in 2005, when I was 27, my two best friends got engaged.
00:25And it got me thinking, maybe I should get married.
00:27And then I saw Robin.
00:30She was incredible.
00:31I just knew I had to meet her.
00:33That's where your Uncle Barney came in.
00:35I suggest we play a little game I like to call Have You Met Ted?
00:39No, no, no, no.
00:39We're not playing Have You Met Ted.
00:41Hi, have you met Ted?
00:44So, I asked her out.
00:45And I know this sounds crazy.
00:47But after just one date, I was in love with her.
00:49Which made me say something stupid.
00:51I think I'm in love with you.
00:53What?
00:53Oh, Dad.
00:56So, then what happened?
00:58Nothing.
00:59I mean, I made a complete fool of myself.
01:01So, a week went by and I decided not to call her.
01:05So, you're not gonna call her?
01:06You went from I think I'm in love with you to I'm not gonna call her?
01:09I wasn't in love with her, okay?
01:11I was briefly in love with the abstract concept of getting married.
01:14It had absolutely nothing to do with Robin.
01:17Robin.
01:17Hey.
01:18Look who I ran into.
01:19Since when do you guys know each other?
01:21Oh, since about here.
01:24Lily recognized me from the news and...
01:26Hello, sailor.
01:28They just got engaged.
01:31Well, I should get back to the station.
01:33See you guys.
01:36Nice seeing you, Ted.
01:37Yeah, you too.
01:38Thanks.
01:41Dammit.
01:41What?
01:42I'm in love with her.
01:43No!
01:45As your sponsor, I will not let you relapse.
01:47You blew it.
01:48It's over.
01:48Move on.
01:49I don't know.
01:50I just have this feeling.
01:51She's the future Mrs. Ted Mosby.
01:55Lily, you squeaked?
01:56She said something about me, didn't she?
01:58Come on.
01:59Spill it red.
02:00Fine.
02:01So, what do we think of Ted?
02:05Ted's something else.
02:06Huh.
02:07I'm gonna spin that as good.
02:09Lots of guys are something.
02:11I'm something else.
02:12It comes on a little strong.
02:13But that's part of my charm.
02:16But that's part of his charm.
02:18Oh, totally.
02:19I mean, he's sweet.
02:20He's charming.
02:20He's just looking for something a little bit more serious than I am.
02:23I mean, the most I can handle right now is something casual.
02:27This just stays between us, right?
02:29Are you kidding?
02:30This flapper, Fort Knox.
02:33Oops.
02:35She wants casual.
02:37Okay.
02:38I'll be casual.
02:39I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual.
02:42You know why?
02:43Because it's a game.
02:44I wanted to skip to the end and do the whole happily ever after thing.
02:47But you don't get there unless you play the game.
02:49So you're gonna ask her out?
02:51Yeah.
02:52No.
02:52I can't ask her out because if I ask her out, I'm asking her out.
02:56So how do I ask her out without asking her out?
03:04Did you guys get high?
03:06I got it.
03:07I don't ask her out.
03:08I invite her to our party next Friday.
03:12We're having a party next Friday?
03:13We are now.
03:15Casual.
03:16Yeah, because nothing says casual like inviting a hundred people over just a mac on one girl.
03:20Oh, and Lily, that's my leg.
03:24You waited five minutes to tell me that?
03:28All right, so call her up.
03:29No, Colin's not casual.
03:31I just gotta bump into her somewhere.
03:33If only I knew her schedule, I could arrange a chance encounter.
03:36That's great, Ted.
03:37You'll be the most casual stalker ever.
03:42Now, ever since Marshall put that ring on her finger, Lily had been, well, extra affectionate.
03:49Baby, no.
03:51I have a 25-page paper on constitutional law due Monday.
03:55I barely started.
03:56Hey, I'm just sitting here, wearing my ring.
04:00My beautiful ring.
04:03Kinda makes wearing other stuff seem wrong.
04:07My shirt.
04:09Kinda don't wanna wear my shirt anymore.
04:13Or my underwear.
04:16That's right, I'm not wearing any.
04:21No underwear.
04:22Not even slightly.
04:24Guys.
04:27Boundaries.
04:29There she is.
04:31Thanks, Bill.
04:32I'm reporting from the Razzle Dazzle supermarket on 75th and Columbus.
04:3775th and Columbus.
04:39Game on!
04:40Where four-year-old Leroy Ellenberg has climbed inside a grab-a-prise machine and gotten stuck.
04:50And all in the pursuit of a stuffed purple giraffe.
04:53For Metro News One, I'm Robin Trebatsky.
04:57We're clear.
04:58Thanks, Don.
05:00Ted.
05:02Robin, wow!
05:04What are the odds?
05:05What are you doing here?
05:06Oh, you know, just, uh, shopping for, uh, Dip.
05:10I love Dip.
05:11I mean, I don't love Dip.
05:12I like Dip.
05:13As a friend, you know.
05:15So, uh, hey, you, uh, reporting a news story or something?
05:18Yeah.
05:18Kid stuck in a crane machine.
05:19How sweet of you to call it news.
05:21Wow.
05:22Kid in a crane machine.
05:24You just had to have that toy, didn't ya?
05:26Couldn't play the game like everyone else.
05:28You're all sweaty.
05:30Cute kid.
05:31Um, you know, it's so funny I should run into you.
05:34We're, uh, we're having a party next Friday if you feel like swinging by.
05:37But, you know, whatever.
05:38Oh, I'm going back home next weekend.
05:41It's too bad it's not tonight.
05:43It is.
05:43It's tonight.
05:44This Friday.
05:45Did I say next Friday?
05:46Yeah, sorry.
05:47I guess I've been saying next Friday all week.
05:49But, yeah, it's tonight.
05:49The, uh, the party's tonight.
05:51But, you know, whatever.
05:59Hello.
05:59Hey.
06:00Am I interrupting anything?
06:02No, no.
06:03I'm just writing my paper.
06:04Hitting the books.
06:05Yeah.
06:06Well, you and Lily might want to put some clothes on.
06:09We're throwing a party in two hours.
06:10Okay.
06:11Bye.
06:17So, Gatsby.
06:18What are you going to do when Robin shows up?
06:20Okay.
06:21I got it all planned out.
06:23She steps through the door.
06:25And where's Ted?
06:26Not eagerly waiting by the door.
06:28No, I'm across the room at my drafting table.
06:31Showing some foxy young thing.
06:32All my cool architecture stuff.
06:35So Robin strolls over.
06:36And I casually give her one of these.
06:39Hey.
06:39What's up?
06:41She says, hey.
06:42Nice place.
06:43Et cetera, et cetera.
06:45And then I say, well, make yourself at home.
06:48And I casually return to my conversation.
06:51Then, an hour later.
06:54Oh.
06:55You're still here.
06:57I say, like I don't really care.
06:59But it's a nice surprise.
07:00And then very casually.
07:03Wanna see the roof?
07:06The roof.
07:07Get her up to the roof.
07:08And the roof takes care of the rest.
07:10What's so special about the roof?
07:11Oh, the moon.
07:13The stars.
07:13The shimmering skyline.
07:15You can't not fall in love on that one.
07:19We do it up there sometimes.
07:22Solid plan, my little friend.
07:23We're the same height.
07:24But may I suggest one little modification.
07:28That foxy young thing you were chatting up?
07:30Take her up to the roof and have sex with her.
07:32Crazy monkey style.
07:33That's not the plan.
07:34It should be the plan.
07:35I mean, look at her.
07:36Ted, look at her.
07:37She's smoking.
07:40But she's not Robin.
07:42Exactly.
07:43Ted, let's wrap.
07:45Statistic.
07:46At every New York party, there's always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at.
07:50She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again.
07:53Do you see where I'm going?
07:56How with this?
07:57Barney, I don't think so.
07:59Scoping?
08:00Beep.
08:01Scoping?
08:02Beep.
08:02Man, you're a dork.
08:05Target acquired.
08:06And now it's time we play a little game I like to call Have You Met Ted?
08:10Oh, come on.
08:11Not this.
08:11Hi.
08:12Have you met Ted?
08:13No.
08:13Hi.
08:14Hi.
08:15Do you know Marshall, Lily?
08:16No.
08:16Do you know anyone at this party?
08:18I work with Carlos.
08:20Excuse me.
08:21Anyone know a Carlos?
08:23No.
08:24No.
08:24On a silver platter.
08:27Bon Appetit.
08:28I don't think so.
08:30Your loss, her gain.
08:32Excuse me.
08:33Can I show you the roof?
08:34It's magical up there.
08:35Sir?
08:36Wait, wait, wait.
08:36Hey, hey.
08:36I got that roof reserved.
08:38Dude, Robin's not coming.
08:39Hey, she's gonna show up.
08:44She'll show up.
08:46She didn't show up.
08:48At least it was a great party.
08:51I ate like four whole cans of dip.
08:54You always know what to say, old friend.
09:00It's Robin.
09:02Answer it.
09:03No, no, no.
09:03Not right away.
09:04Gotta seem casual.
09:07Hello?
09:08I'm so sorry I missed your party.
09:10Who is this?
09:11Meredith?
09:12Robin.
09:14Oh, Robin.
09:15Hey.
09:15Yeah, yeah.
09:16Guess you never showed up, did you?
09:18No, I got stuck at work.
09:20But they finally got that kid out of the crane machine.
09:22Did he get to keep the purple giraffe?
09:24Yeah.
09:24They let him keep all the toys.
09:26He was in there a long time, and little kids have small bladders.
09:31I wish your party was tonight.
09:35It is. The party's tonight.
09:37Yeah, uh, it's a two-day party, because that's just how we roll.
09:42Uh, so if you want to swing by, you know, it's casual.
09:46See ya.
09:51So that was Robin.
09:52What are you doing to me, man?
09:53I got a paper to write.
09:54I know, I'm sorry.
09:55It's terrible.
09:56No, Ted.
09:57I'll buy more damn Ted.
09:58Ted, wait!
10:00Get French onion!
10:06Can you believe this guy got a paper to write?
10:10Okay, fine.
10:11But it's gotta be, like, super quick, and no cuddling after.
10:15I'm the luckiest girl alive.
10:18Aw, you were so right about the roof!
10:26The roof!
10:28The roof is on fire, Ted!
10:31My girlfriend last night, I took her back to my place,
10:34then this morning took her outside, spun her around a couple times,
10:36and sent her walking.
10:37She will never find her way back, and there she is.
10:41How did she get here?
10:42Did you invite her?
10:43I have no idea who that is.
10:44She said she works with Carlos.
10:45Who's Carlos?
10:46I don't know any Carlos.
10:48Hi, you.
10:49You're back.
10:51I sure am.
10:54Come on, sweetie, I need a drink.
10:56Sweetie?
10:57Really?
11:01Whoa, whoa, rabbits!
11:03Come on, I got that roof reserved.
11:04All right.
11:07So, it's over between me and works with Carlos girl.
11:11Whoa, that was fast.
11:12Yeah.
11:13I was trying to think, what's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you just met?
11:17I think I'm in love with you.
11:19What?
11:20Thanks, bro.
11:21Glad I can help.
11:24What the?
11:25No, no, no, come on!
11:27Sorry, Ted.
11:30Great!
11:31What am I going to do when Robin shows up?
11:33She'll show up.
11:35She didn't show up.
11:37All right.
11:38We threw two parties.
11:40Everybody had fun.
11:42Everybody wanged.
11:43Everybody chunged.
11:45Now the kid has got to get to work, and the kid is not to be disturbed.
11:49Repeat after me.
11:50I will not have sex with Marshall.
11:52I will not have sex with Marshall.
11:58It's Robin.
12:01Hello?
12:02Hi, Ted.
12:03Amanda?
12:04Oh, Denise.
12:05Sorry, you totally sounded like Amanda.
12:07It's Robin.
12:08Oh, Robin!
12:09Hi.
12:10I totally wanted to come.
12:12I got stuck at work again.
12:13I feel like I live there.
12:15Sorry I missed your party again.
12:17Hey, ain't no thing but a chicken wing, mamacita.
12:20Who am I?
12:22I guess there's no chance your two-dayer turned into a three-dayer.
12:27It did indeed.
12:28The party continues tonight.
12:29Yeah.
12:30Last night, people were like, keep it going, bro!
12:33Party trifecta!
12:34Wow, okay.
12:36I'll be there.
12:37Great.
12:38See you tonight.
12:42So that was Robin.
12:45So I threw a third party for Robin.
12:48On a Sunday night.
12:51Oh, this is lame.
12:53Lame?
12:54Or casual?
12:56Lame.
12:57Or casual.
12:59Hey, law books.
13:01Ready for a little 15-minute reset?
13:04Sorry, baby.
13:04I gotta work.
13:05I need all my blood up here.
13:07Has anybody seen an introduction to contract, tort, and restitution statutes from 1865 to 1923?
13:15Anybody seen a big-ass book?
13:19Hello, Barney.
13:22Of course.
13:25You look well.
13:27Is it weird they invited both of us?
13:30Who?
13:32Who invited you?
13:33No one even knows who you are.
13:36I understand you're hurt, but you don't have to be cruel.
13:41Carlos was right about you.
13:43Who is Carlos?
13:46Okay, where the hell is my-
13:49Oh!
13:52Okay.
13:55An introduction to contract, tort, and restitution statutes from 1865 to 1923 is not a coaster!
14:03Ted!
14:03I'm jeopardizing my law career so you can throw not one, not two, but three parties for some girl that
14:10you just met who's probably not even gonna show up!
14:12I mean, where is she, Ted, huh?
14:13Where's Robin?
14:17Hi!
14:18Hi, Robin.
14:21Wow.
14:28So, you threw all these parties for me?
14:32No.
14:33Oh, you thought that-
14:34No!
14:34I-
14:35Okay, yes.
14:36You got me.
14:37I mean, one of the reasons I threw these parties was so that I could introduce you to, um, this
14:43guy.
14:44Uh, I figured, you know, since it didn't work out between us, and now we can just laugh about it.
14:51Anyway, Robin, this is-
14:53Carlos.
14:55Oh.
15:02Is she still talking to Carlos?
15:05I can still win this.
15:06It-It's not over.
15:07Okay, buddy.
15:08Time for the tough talk.
15:10Robin seems great, but let's look at the facts.
15:13You wanna get married.
15:14And right now there's a million women in New York looking for exactly you.
15:18But Robin ain't one of them.
15:20She's not just one of them.
15:22She's the one.
15:23Yeah, well, the one is heading up to the roof.
15:29What are you gonna do?
15:31Nothing.
15:32It's a game.
15:33I gotta just keep playing it.
16:15Hey.
16:16Hey.
16:17Carlos, can you give us a minute?
16:18Hey.
16:19No sweat, hombre.
16:20See ya.
16:21See ya.
16:26Robin.
16:27Look, I didn't throw this party to set you up with Carlos.
16:30Or the one before that.
16:31Or the one before that.
16:34I threw these parties because I wanted to see you.
16:38Well, here I am.
16:41There's something here.
16:42There's something here.
16:42Look, unless I'm crazy.
16:44You're not crazy.
16:47I don't know, Ted.
16:49I mean, we barely know each other.
16:51And you're looking at me with that look and it's like...
16:55Like what?
16:56Like, let's fall in love.
16:58And get married and have kids and drive them to soccer practice.
17:01I'm not gonna force sports on them unless they're interested.
17:05It's a great look.
17:07But you're looking at the wrong girl.
17:09No, I'm not.
17:09Yes, you are.
17:10I don't wanna get married right now.
17:12Maybe ever.
17:13And if we got together, I'd feel like I'd either have to marry you or break your heart.
17:19And I just couldn't do either of those things.
17:24Just like you can't turn off the way you feel.
17:30Click.
17:31Off.
17:32Let's make out.
17:33What?
17:34What? That was the off switch.
17:37And I turned it off.
17:38Huh.
17:39I mean, look, sure, yes, I wanna fall in love, get married, blah, blah, blah.
17:43But on the other hand, you, me, the roof.
17:50There's no off switch.
17:53There is an off switch.
17:55And it's off.
17:57No, it's not.
17:59Yes, it is.
18:01No, it is not.
18:03Yes.
18:04It is.
18:15No, it's not.
18:22You're right.
18:23There's no off switch.
18:26God, I wish there was an off switch.
18:29Me too.
18:37So, um...
18:38What do you do now?
18:43We could be friends.
18:45Oh.
18:48Look, I know it sounds insincere when people say that, but we could.
18:55I don't know, Robin.
18:56I've made such a jackass of myself here.
18:58We start hanging out.
18:59Every time I see you, it'll be like, oh, that's right, I'm a jackass.
19:03You're not a jackass.
19:05I'm sorry.
19:06I only moved here in April, and I'm always working, and...
19:10I just haven't met a lot of good people so far.
19:14But I understand.
19:18Well, uh...
19:20Maybe in a few months, after it's not so fresh, we could all, uh...
19:24You know, get a beer.
19:27Yeah.
19:28That sounds good.
19:31I'll see you, Ted.
19:38Or, you know, now...
19:44We could all get a beer now.
19:49I'd like that.
19:53My friends are gonna love you.
19:55Like you.
19:56You know, as a friend.
19:59Jackass.
20:03Unbelievable.
20:05That's just a recipe for disaster.
20:07They work together.
20:08Are you jealous?
20:09Please.
20:10What does Carlos have that I don't?
20:12A date tonight?
20:14Oh!
20:14Of the day everyone played again.
20:17A date tonight?
20:18Oh!
20:20I'm not sure I like her.
20:22Hey, don't you have a paper to write?
20:24Dude.
20:24You're talking to the kid.
20:26I know it.
20:26I'm gonna knock back this beer.
20:28I'm gonna knock back one more beer.
20:30I'm gonna go home.
20:31I'm gonna write a 25-page paper.
20:33I'm gonna hand it in, and I'm gonna get an A.
20:35My name is Rufus, and that's the Trufus.
20:39He got a B-minus.
20:40But still, 25 pages in one night, B-minus?
20:43The kid was good.
20:45At least let me buy you a beer.
20:47Come on, I'll buy everyone a beer.
20:49I'll carry.
20:55You know something, Ted?
20:56What?
20:56You are a catch.
20:58You're gonna make some girl very happy.
21:00And I am going to help you find her.
21:04Well, good luck.
21:06I mean, maybe New York's just too big a town.
21:08I mean, there's millions of people in this city.
21:10How in all this mess is a guy supposed to find the love of his life?
21:13I mean, where do you even begin?
21:18Hi.
21:19Have you met Ted?
21:20Laughter
21:21.
21:22.
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