00:00MUSIC
00:03I'm Alan Partridge. Hello.
00:06Later, we'll be showing you all the hot tennis action
00:08at tonight's Big Tennis Confrontation.
00:11Set point for Ed Berg.
00:17He's got it!
00:18No!
00:20That was out, surely?
00:22I can't believe it. The umpire and the computer says it's in.
00:27Let's have a look.
00:28No, definitely out.
00:30Just shows your computers can go wrong.
00:33Anyone who's seen 2001 A Space Oddity will know that
00:36when Hal refused to open the pod door.
00:45Hello. It's been a big day today for the strong game of rugby.
00:50They're closing in on him. They keep bringing him down.
00:53Let him go. He's saying, get out of the way.
00:55I want to play some rugby.
00:58Get him! Hit him! Hit him!
01:03Right, and the ball's out to West, to Kenny.
01:06Kenny's broken through.
01:07Yes, he's running. He's clear.
01:08He's saying, look at me. Look at me.
01:10I've got the ball. I've got the ball.
01:12Can you get me? No!
01:13I'm going to score. He's scoring a try.
01:14He scored! He scored a try.
01:16And what a magnificent moment as he just ran through there and said,
01:50Oh, you're not going to get me.
02:18Oh, you're not going to get me.
02:42And that race was marred by an earlier incident in which champion jockey Leicester Piggott fell from his horse and
02:48had to be destroyed.
02:51Don't have a sport with Alan Partridge. Alan, what do you think happens to you when you die?
02:54Um, well, certainly, uh, buried, or I imagine, uh, in the old furnace, isn't it?
03:01I suppose. What if you're buried at sea?
03:04You, well, you don't drown. You sink. You sink.
03:08Do you think you go up and down in the water? Or just down?
03:11Well, I imagine you, uh, you go, with the gases in your body, you probably rise and fall a few
03:16times.
03:16How many times? Half a dozen.
03:19Where are you getting this from, Alan? Half a dozen times up and down in the water.
03:22Weren't you a bit of an expert about this, suddenly?
03:25No, it's just that when you die, you, I don't want to go into detail, but your body sort of
03:28ferments.
03:29If you, you know, you have a carton of orange, um, you leave it for a while in a warm
03:34place,
03:34it sort of expands with the gases, and it's sort of a bit like that.
03:38How much orange is there in a dead body?
03:41Half a cup. Half a cup of orange inside a dead body?
03:44Yeah. You sure? Yeah, yeah.
03:46All right, Alan, carry on. I just want you to think about that as you're doing this.
03:49I'm Alan Partridge, and this is Golfing Action.
03:55Seve Ballesteros. The bullfighter, that's what I call him.
03:58Though, uh, technically he's a professional golfer.
04:02A friend of mine said recently, uh, what do you get if you cross a ballerina and a bastard?
04:07Ballesteros was his answer.
04:09I guess you analyse it that Seve combines the qualities of both those animals.
04:14He has the lithe sophistication and nimbleness of a ballerina,
04:20combined with the hard-nosed, ruthless thuggery of a bastard.
04:31Thanks, Chris. And here's the latest on bobslaying.
04:35This is the course for the bobslay.
04:40It's, uh, not like Alton Towers, I've got to say.
04:42Imagine going on a big dip and then multiplying that by 10 or 20.
04:47Ironic, really, to think I had a bobslay in my class at school.
04:52A boy who had no interest in the sport whatsoever.
04:56This course actually reminds me of when I was tobogganing at the age of 16.
05:01I hit something and fell off.
05:03I was concussed.
05:05Hit a cat.
05:07No cats here, of course.
05:09The groundsmen are quite strict about not letting cats onto this course.
05:14One of those things comes down on a cat, it doesn't stand a chance.
05:18A bit like standing on a wasp.
05:20It's not pleasant, but it's got to be done.
05:24Later, on the day-to-day's main factgasm,
05:28news on Britain's traffic roads with travel sultana Valerie Sinatra.
05:33And up here in the day-to-day travel tower,
05:36one mile above the centre of Britain, I can see everything.
05:39And from the United States, Barbara Wintergreen.
05:41I'll be reporting from Michigan,
05:43where they've discovered the world's youngest man.
05:45Thanks.
05:46And I'll be keeping you up to date on football, racing and all matters sport.
05:50Thanks, Alan.
05:52That's all tomorrow night on the day-to-day.
Comments