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00:09I'm Rachel, could you please hurry up?
00:12Somebody might see you like this.
00:14Stand still.
00:15Besides, you look kind of cute.
00:19That's it. I'm taking this thing off.
00:21No, no. Your mother wants to wear this tonight.
00:23I'll be done in a minute.
00:24Well, the dress is bad enough,
00:25but this push-up bra's killing me.
00:30Ow! Oh, sorry. It's just a little pin.
00:33Darn, that was the last one.
00:34Don't move. I'll be right back.
00:51Edward!
00:52Dad!
00:55Son, I think it's time we had a little talk.
01:11It's a rare condition
01:13This day and age
01:15To read any good news
01:17On the newspaper page
01:18And love and tradition
01:20Of the grand design
01:22Some people say
01:23It's even harder to find
01:25Well, then there must be some magic clue
01:29Inside these gentle walls
01:33Cause all I see
01:35Is a tower of dreams
01:37Real love bursting out of every scene
01:40As days go by
01:45As days go by
01:46We're gonna fill our house
01:48With happiness
01:49The moon may dry
01:52But we'll smother the blues
01:54With deadliness
01:56As days go by
01:59There's room for you
02:01There's room for you
02:02Room for me
02:03For gentle hearts
02:04And opportunity
02:06As days go by
02:10It's the bigger love of the family
02:29Mom, we gotta talk.
02:30Go clean your room. We can talk later.
02:34Why can't I keep it the way I like it?
02:36It's my room.
02:37Laura, it's not your room.
02:38That room belongs to your father and me.
02:40We're just letting you use it till you go to college.
02:44If I clean it up, can I go to the dance Saturday?
02:47I already told you no.
02:48Is that your final word?
02:50It was my final word last month.
02:52It was my final word last week.
02:54And it will be my final word until you're 15.
02:56And that's final.
03:01Aunt Rachel?
03:02Yeah?
03:02How old were you when you started to date?
03:05Oh, gosh, honey, I waited a long time.
03:07I didn't go on my first date until I was 10 or 11.
03:13Mom?
03:14No.
03:17Hi.
03:17Hi, babe.
03:19Daddy's home.
03:20Oh, I missed you so much today, Daddy.
03:23Oh, I missed you too.
03:28By the way, can I go to a party Saturday night?
03:31Hmm.
03:32Sounds great.
03:32Have fun.
03:33Carl, she's 13.
03:35She's too young to date.
03:36When Eddie was 13, you let him take Gringer Jackson roller skating.
03:40That was a date.
03:42That's true.
03:43Yeah.
03:43And Eddie hasn't been the same since.
03:46That's also true.
03:48You know, Mom, in some countries, girls get married at 13.
03:52Sure.
03:53And they die at 30.
03:55You want to die young?
03:56Go to the dance.
04:00Was that a yes?
04:02Uh, no.
04:02I think that was a threat on your life.
04:05Mom just doesn't understand me.
04:08But you do.
04:09You're the greatest dad in the whole wide world.
04:13Laura, I know what you're trying to do.
04:16Is it working?
04:16Yeah.
04:18I'll go talk to her.
04:22Honey.
04:23Mm-hmm.
04:24Don't you think we ought to let Laura go to the party?
04:27Carl, she's 13.
04:28If she starts dating now, she'll get serious.
04:31And then the boy will get serious.
04:32And then they'll both get serious.
04:34And that's serious.
04:36Harriet.
04:37Will you get serious?
04:39This is a dance.
04:41She's got to be home by 10.
04:42Carl, I don't think it's a good idea.
04:44Oh, honey, come on.
04:45All her friends are going to be there.
04:46Let her go.
04:47If it'll make you feel better, I'll have the squad car drive by every hour to check on her.
04:53Carl, if you wanted to go, fine.
04:56Just remember, I'm dead set against it.
04:58Aw.
04:59Thank you, honey.
05:00I'm so glad we could agree on this.
05:15Laura, get your nose out of that book.
05:17The dance is tomorrow night, and we've got to get you a date.
05:21Forget it.
05:22It's too late.
05:23All the good guys are taking.
05:25Hey, there's your brother.
05:27Listen, he's so cool.
05:30My brother?
05:31Cool.
05:33You are a sick person.
05:35Hey, sis.
05:37You want to sit with us, Eddie?
05:40Penny, penny, penny.
05:44I'm in high school now.
05:46I can't be seen sitting with seven graders.
05:49Right.
05:50I was just kidding.
05:51I'm a great kidder.
05:53Look, Laura.
05:54I thought I should warn you.
05:55I just saw Steve Urkel outside.
05:57He said he was going to ask you to the dance.
06:00Hey, that's great.
06:01You really think I would go out with Steve Urkel?
06:05The mouse eater?
06:07The kid eats one mouse, and he's branded for life.
06:11Laura, you're just starting to build your reputation.
06:14You can't afford to date guys with mice on their breath.
06:18Wow, your brother's good-looking and smart.
06:23Why do you want me to go to the dance with Urkel?
06:25You wouldn't go out with him.
06:27True, but I have a date.
06:30You waited too long to put yourself on the market.
06:32Face it, girl.
06:33You're at the sale table.
06:37Not Urkel.
06:38Not now.
06:39Not ever.
06:40Well, don't look now.
06:42He's coming this way.
06:56Hi, Laura.
07:00I hear you can't get a date for the dance.
07:04So you want to go with me?
07:06Take a hike, Urkel.
07:08She'd rather eat worms.
07:10Okay, some other time then.
07:16Look, there's Mark Newhouse.
07:18Take a hike.
07:22You can forget about Mark.
07:23He's gonna ask Jo Beth Hensley.
07:25How do you know that?
07:27Well, if you paid more attention in study hall instead of studying, you'd know these things.
07:34I don't believe this is happening to me.
07:37If I don't get a date, I'll be humiliated.
07:39Hey, don't get all upset.
07:41We'll find someone.
07:48Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton?
07:55Make him go away.
07:57Get out of here, goat face.
08:04Excuse me.
08:06Excuse me.
08:07Excuse me.
08:07Excuse me.
08:09Excuse me.
08:17Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts.
08:19Brussels sprouts make me want to puke.
08:26At my table, you eat them.
08:27Now what you do on your own time is your business.
08:33Laura, I know this dance is a big moment in your life, so I thought I'd make you a dress.
08:37Maybe something with puffy sleeves.
08:38What do you think?
08:39I think you can save yourself the trouble.
08:42Nobody's asked me to the dance.
08:44Well, honey, I'm sure somebody will.
08:47Laura, you're on Rachel's right.
08:48Now, there are plenty of boys out there just trying to get up the courage to call you.
08:51That phone is gonna ring any minute.
08:54That's right.
08:55Yeah, that's right.
09:05Are we gonna wait long?
09:10Nobody's ever gonna call.
09:12I go through this every time there's a dance.
09:13That's how we know there's a dance coming up.
09:16The phone will go dead.
09:23See, Carl, I told you.
09:25She's just too young for this dating thing.
09:28Rachel, you go right ahead and make that dress.
09:30Laura is gonna get a date.
09:32I guarantee it.
09:39Hello.
09:41Mr. Urkel?
09:42Yes, uh, Carl Winslow.
09:45Right.
09:45Remember, we met at the pet shop.
09:47Yes, you were buying mice.
09:51Right.
09:52Well, listen, um, I need a little favor.
09:55Yes, uh, does your son, Steve, by any chance, happen to have a date to the party tomorrow night?
10:02Oh, no.
10:15Are you okay?
10:17Not really.
10:18I'd like to be alone.
10:20I understand.
10:28Laura, you're putting yourself under a lot of pressure.
10:31So what if you don't have a date for the big dance?
10:34I can tell you from years of experience, a dating is no big deal.
10:39Say what?
10:42Well, it's very overrated.
10:44I mean, think about it.
10:45What is a date?
10:47Two very nervous people trying to think of cool things to say, so one doesn't think the
10:51other one's stupid.
10:53You should thank your lucky stars no one called you.
10:56That is the biggest crock I've ever heard in my life.
11:02Okay, look, I know you have a crush on Mark Newhouse, so if you want him to take you to
11:09the dance, why don't you just call him and ask him yourself?
11:12What if he doesn't want to go with me?
11:14Then you'll look like a fool.
11:21That's why I can't call him.
11:22Hey, no guts, no glory.
11:25I'm going out to shoot some hoops.
11:31Laura,
11:34any guy who wouldn't go out with you isn't good enough for you anyway.
11:37Thanks, Annie.
12:04Thanks, Annie.
12:13Hello, Mark.
12:15This is Laura Winslow.
12:18Look, I may be risking humiliation here, but...
12:23Do you want to go to the dance with me or what?
12:35Okay, here's the party, girl.
12:41Oh!
12:45Laura, you look beautiful.
12:47What about the dress?
12:49Wait a minute. That looks familiar.
12:52When we were kids, didn't you make a dress like that for your Betsy Wetsy doll?
12:57Yeah, only to put this on, we didn't have to take Laura's arms off.
13:01Oh, you have a loose string.
13:12Why did you do that?
13:14I didn't know it was a tear-away dress.
13:18What am I gonna do? I can't go to the dance like this.
13:21Oh, honey, I can fix it. Harriet, get me some thread.
13:23All right, but Rachel, hurry. She doesn't have much time.
13:26Well, there'd be plenty of time if a certain someone didn't pull out one of the threads.
13:30You don't see me going around and yanking out other people's threads.
13:33I know better. I know why the threads are there.
13:36They're there to keep the dress on. Get upstairs.
13:44Hi, honey.
13:46Hi, babe. Dinner's gonna be late.
13:47Hey, I'm helping Laura get ready for the dance.
13:50Oh.
13:51So she got a date.
13:52You know, I had a feeling that would happen.
13:55So did Steve, uh, a boy call?
13:58Yes, she's getting ready now.
14:01You get that. I've got to go up and help Rachel.
14:08Hi, Mr. Winslow. I'm Steve Urkel.
14:15Is Laura ready for the dance?
14:21Yeah, Steve. Come right on in.
14:26She'll be right down.
14:28I have to tell you, Mr. Winslow,
14:30when my dad said you fixed me out with Laura,
14:33why, I thought I'd wet my pants.
14:42I've been crazy about her since the first grade,
14:45but she always thought I was some kind of a freak.
14:48Go figure.
14:54Well, Steve, I didn't know she felt that way.
14:57Nice flowers.
14:59Yeah, thanks.
15:00On the way over, I stopped by the cemetery.
15:10Why don't you go in the kitchen there
15:12and wash off the roots?
15:14Good idea, Mr. Winslow.
15:18Nice house for a cop.
15:22Thanks.
15:28Excuse me.
15:35What have I done?
15:38Laura?
15:40Sweetheart?
15:41Your, uh, date is here.
15:47He's here?
15:48Well, stall him, stall him.
15:49I gotta put this dress back together.
15:50I can't work on this kind of pressure.
15:52I'll put you on the way out of this.
15:58Hey, Dad.
15:59Hey.
16:00This is Tyrone.
16:01Nice to meet you, Tyrone.
16:03He's taking Laura to the dance.
16:04Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
16:06Wait a minute.
16:07What do you mean, he's taking Laura to the dance?
16:10Oh, you see, I felt sorry for him.
16:12So I gave Tyrone here ten bucks to take her.
16:15But I already set her up with Steve Urkel.
16:17The mouse eater?
16:21He eats mice.
16:22Well, that's probably just a rumor.
16:24Does she know he's taking her?
16:26Of course she does.
16:27But has anyone actually seen him eat a mouse?
16:30Dad, I've got better things to do than to watch Steve Urkel eat.
16:34What am I gonna do with Tyrone?
16:35I already gave him ten bucks.
16:41Now, that dress looks even better.
16:44You look wonderful, honey.
16:46Thanks, Mom.
16:47Hey, Laura.
16:47Look who's here.
16:49Tyrone.
16:50Oh, hi, Tyrone.
16:52He's your date for the night.
16:56No, he's not.
16:59Yes, he is.
17:00I gave him ten bucks.
17:03You hired Tyrone to take me to the dance?
17:06Oh, Eddie.
17:07Oh, Eddie.
17:11Eddie, I don't need charity.
17:13I can't believe you did this.
17:15Edward, your sister is right.
17:16She can find her own dates.
17:17But, Dad.
17:18I don't want to hear another word about it.
17:21Honey, I'm sure Eddie was just trying to do something nice for you.
17:29Hi, I'm Mark Newhouse.
17:31Oh, Mark, come on in.
17:33Well, what is he doing here?
17:36Dad, Mark, it's my date.
17:38Your date?
17:43Yes, Carl, her date.
17:45Why do you think she's been getting all dressed up?
17:47Uh, well, better get going, kids.
17:50Don't want to miss the big dance.
17:51Have a good time.
17:52Nice to meet you, Mark.
17:53Hi, Laura.
17:56These are for you.
17:58Wow, are you wearing a bra?
18:05Who are you?
18:07And why are those flowers dripping on my floor?
18:12I can explain this.
18:14You called Laura to ask her for the date, didn't you?
18:18Why should I?
18:19My dad said you set it all up.
18:25You did what?
18:27Well, honey...
18:28I can't believe this.
18:29I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
18:32But, Laura, I...
18:36Thank you, uh...
18:37What's your name, sugar?
18:39Oh, Steve.
18:42Steve.
18:43And Tyrone, we won't be needing you tonight.
18:45Come on, Tyrone.
18:47Let's bail.
18:47Date's over.
19:03Laura.
19:06Laura...
19:06Wanna talk?
19:08Mom, do you have any idea how humiliating this is?
19:12Laura, your father and Eddie acted like fools.
19:16Well, they meant well.
19:17Mom, they paid guys to go out with me.
19:20I'm sure your father didn't pay Steve a cent.
19:24Mom, this is the worst day of my life.
19:30Laura, you should be happy.
19:32A very nice boy asked you to the dance.
19:35Mark didn't ask me.
19:37I asked him.
19:38You did?
19:40Oh.
19:43Well, he said yes.
19:45That should tell you something.
19:48Mom, he and his girlfriend had a fight.
19:50He was on the rebound.
19:51He probably would have gone with anybody.
19:55Mom, what's wrong with me?
19:58Nothing.
19:59There's nothing wrong with you, Laura.
20:01You're smart, you're funny, you have a great personality.
20:04Great personality?
20:06Oh, I get it, I'm ugly.
20:08You're not ugly, you're beautiful.
20:12And why didn't Mark ask me out himself?
20:15Because boys are scared to death, just like you.
20:18But that will change.
20:22Mom, dating is hard.
20:25Honey, it's hard for everyone.
20:28Took your father six weeks to get up enough courage to ask me out.
20:32But I'm glad he did.
20:35I want you to go back in there and go to that party with Mark.
20:41I think he likes you.
20:43How can you tell?
20:44Mom, I'm a mother.
20:46I have a feeling about these things.
20:49Thanks, Mom.
20:58Dear Lord, please let this boy like her.
21:12Mark, do you still want to go to the dance with me?
21:14Sure.
21:16You know, I'm glad you called.
21:19I've liked you for a long time.
21:25Night, Mom.
21:26Good night, kids.
21:27Have a good time.
21:33Don't be late.
21:40Laura!
21:41Laura, I got it!
21:42Rachel, Rachel!
21:43What?
21:44She's gone.
21:45But don't feel bad.
21:46She can wear your dress on her next thing.
21:55I hope you don't mind if I stay a while.
21:57Well, my parents told me not to come home till 10.
22:04Got me cheese?
22:21How was my little girl's first date?
22:24It was okay.
22:26Well, now that's it?
22:27Just okay?
22:31Well, for about three hours, the guy stood on one side of the room and the girl stood on the
22:35other.
22:36I spent most of the night talking to Penny, which I could have done here.
22:40Didn't you dance at all?
22:41A little.
22:42When there was about 15 minutes left, Mark finally got up a nerve nerve to ask me to dance.
22:47Then we had a real good time.
22:48I'm looking forward to when I'm older and boys are braver.
22:53Well, sweetheart, if they get too brave, you let me know.
23:00Okay, Dad.
23:02And, sweetheart, I am real sorry about what I did tonight.
23:09That's all right, Dad.
23:11But the next time you feel like fixing me up, do me a favor.
23:15Picture Steve Urkel.
23:16Mmh!
23:19Mmh!
23:19Mmh!
23:24Mmh!
23:26Mmh!
23:27Mmh!
23:33Mmh!
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