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Jeeves and Wooster S01E02 Tuppy and the Terrier
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00:28I'll see you next time
01:43Ah, Jeeves, how is the little chap this morning?
01:46Distressingly willful, sir.
01:48Oh, well, we must look on the bright side, Jeeves.
01:49We must think of the untold goose we have done ourselves by nannying the beast until Aunt Agatha has finished
01:54her inspection of the continent.
01:55True, sir.
01:58Um, pardon me for asking, sir, but are you proposing to appear in public in those garments?
02:04Well, certainly, Jeeves.
02:06What?
02:07A bit vivid, do you think?
02:08Not necessarily, sir.
02:10I am told that Mr. Freddy, he's a riot flower dew, often appears on the music hall stage in comparable
02:17attire, but...
02:18No, no, no, no, no, no buts, Jeeves.
02:20I happen to think very highly of them.
02:22Now then, yes, we must be making tracks.
02:25I tee off at 11.30.
02:33Good luck today, sir.
02:34Oh, thank you, Jarvis.
02:36Yes, Jeeves, I rather think that today you will be proud to see the young master sail through to the
02:42quarterfinals, at the very least, of the Drones Club annual knockout golf tournament.
02:46Oh, this is indeed good news, sir.
02:50You see, Jeeves, my match is against Barmy Frungy Phipps.
02:54Being drawn against him is generally considered to be the golfing equivalent of a walkover.
02:58I see, sir.
03:02I hope Bobby Wickham will be amazed at my exploits on the golf course today, too, Jeeves.
03:07Indeed, sir.
03:08May I inquire as to why you are so desirous of impressing Miss Wickham?
03:12Couldn't I tell you, Jeeves?
03:13I'm in love.
03:15With Miss Wickham, sir?
03:18There's no need to say it like that, Jeeves.
03:20You're wrong about Miss Wickham, you know.
03:23If you say so, sir.
03:35Right, Jeeves, this is the time for plain speaking.
03:38Just what exactly is your kick against Miss Wickham?
03:41I insist.
03:42Well, sir, although Miss Wickham is a very charming young lady...
03:46Exactly, Jeeves.
03:47You speak an imperial court.
03:49What eyes.
03:51Yes, sir.
03:52What hair.
03:53Very true, sir.
03:54What larkiness.
03:56Precisely, sir.
03:58What exactly do you mean, precisely, sir?
04:00Well, sir, it is that very quality of espierlerie which, to my mind, debowers Miss Wickham from being a matrimonial
04:06prospect for a gentleman of your description.
04:09And what do you mean, a gentleman of my description?
04:13Miss Wickham, in my opinion, sir, is too frivolous.
04:15Whenever I see Miss Wickham, I know that trouble cannot be far behind.
04:18In order to qualify as Miss Wickham's husband, a gentleman should be possessed of a commanding personality and considerable strength
04:26of character.
04:28Exactly, Jeeves.
04:29Condemned out of your own mouth.
04:36What-o, Bobby!
04:37Bobby!
04:37Hello!
04:38Hello, Bertie.
04:39Didn't know you'd arrived.
04:40Well, I hadn't.
04:41Until now, of course.
04:42I didn't arrive somewhere once.
04:44It's an extraordinary thing.
04:46Are you in mourning for someone, Bertie?
04:48Yes, rather natty, eh?
04:49Jeeves doesn't like them, but then, of course, Jeeves is notoriously hidebound in the matter of legwear.
04:54I was on my way there, and something happened.
04:56I can't remember what exactly.
04:58You'll look after the hound, won't you, Bobby?
04:59Of course, Bertie.
05:00Right, looking forward to the match, Bobby?
05:02I'll say.
05:03I've got this wonderful new gadget from Lilywhite's.
05:06You wind it up and clip it onto your club, and it buzzes to tell you when to start your
05:11downswing.
05:13Hmm.
05:43Good shot, Barmy.
05:45Thank you, Bertie.
05:48Have you been taking lessons, Barmy?
05:51No, it's this what's-it.
05:52Thank you, George.
05:54Works marvellously, didn't you think?
05:55It's very good, yes.
06:02McIntosh, quiet.
06:10McIntosh.
06:12Sorry, Bertie.
06:19Sorry, Bertie.
06:20Sorry, Bertie.
06:20Oh, Bertie.
06:24Right, now, what I've got to do here, Jeeves, is just keep it low, drill it straight out through the
06:28trees, quail high.
06:30Indeed, sir.
06:30And then dogleg it round the wood, and let it drift onto the grain with just enough backspin to bring
06:34it up level with the pin.
06:36It might even plop straight into the hole, Jeeves.
06:39That would seem to be ideal, sir.
06:40Bah, it's finesse, you know.
06:42Aptly put, sir.
06:58Splendid shot, Barmy.
06:59Good shot, Barmy.
07:06Oh, Bertie, I'm sorry.
07:09Come here, McIntosh.
07:10Perhaps we are not keeping our eye on the ball with sufficient acidity, sir.
07:14It's that blasted dog, Jeeves.
07:16Every time I look at the ball, it starts yapping.
07:18Good dog, McIntosh.
07:19Good dog.
07:24Good shot, Bertie.
07:26Thank you, Barmy.
07:27Ah!
07:28Oi!
07:32Oh, McIntosh, it's not a bird.
07:34Come here.
07:35Come here.
07:36McIntosh.
07:44You ask me, Jeeves.
07:45That animal is in the pay of the fungi phipses.
08:17There you are, Jeeves.
08:18The old touch coming back.
08:19Shall I put you down for a twelve there, sir?
08:23No.
08:24No.
08:26Nothing can make me disclose my secret.
08:30You have to tell us, Mother.
08:31Who is Oriana's father?
08:35Never.
08:35Oh, yes.
08:37Yes.
08:37Who is my father?
08:39Do you think I can go on living with this hanging over me?
08:43It's a living hell.
08:45I tell you.
08:48Don't he say nothing, Mrs. Warminster.
08:51What the devil has he got to do with you?
08:54Old Elias.
08:55What-ho, Lady Wickham.
08:56Hello, Sir Cuthbert.
08:57Hello, Tuppy.
08:57How are you, young man?
08:59I hear you made a dog's breakfast of your goth this morning.
09:03Oh, he was an absolute scream.
09:05Thank you, Bobby.
09:06I shall do my best to be the game and popular loser.
09:08Don't be such a stick, Bertie.
09:10It was fun.
09:11Goth isn't intended to be fun, Roberta.
09:14We're just reading my new play, Mr. Worcester.
09:16Would you care to join us?
09:17No, thank you.
09:18I've got to take the hound for a walk.
09:20I'll come with you.
09:21Oh, Bobby, who's going to read Oriana?
09:23Where belong?
09:24Could you read Oriana, Mr. Glossop?
09:27Oh, right, yes.
09:28Um, what the devil has it got to do with you, old Elias?
09:32He knows.
09:33He must know.
09:34How does he know?
09:36But to lose like that to bar me of all people.
09:39They nearly died laughing in the refreshment tent.
09:42It's no laughing matter, young Bobby.
09:44No, no, I know, Bertie.
09:46But I've got an idea.
09:49I warn you that what I'm about to say, Jeeves,
09:51is going to make you look pretty silly.
09:54Indeed, sir.
09:55This morning, if I remember rightly,
09:57you stated that Miss Wickham was frivolous, volatile,
10:01and generally lacking in seriousness.
10:04Am I correct?
10:04Quite correct, sir.
10:05Yes, well, this afternoon I went for a walk with Miss Wickham,
10:08and she has suggested to me the ripest, brainiest scheme
10:12for getting back at young Barmy
10:13than anyone could possibly imagine.
10:15Getting back at him, sir?
10:16Hmm.
10:17Hmm.
10:17One wonders if this is quite the sporting spirit.
10:20Eh?
10:21One merely wonders, sir.
10:22No, no, no, no.
10:23This is the Worcester spirit, Jeeves.
10:26Unsporting would be me reporting
10:27that blasted buzzer thing to the committee.
10:29No, this is strictly man to man.
10:32Very good, sir.
10:32Anyway, it appears that at the school
10:35where Miss Wickham was educated,
10:37it was from time to time necessary
10:39for the right thinking element
10:40to slip one over certain of the baser sort.
10:45Do you know what they did, Jeeves?
10:46No, sir, I don't.
10:47No, well, they used to take a long stick,
10:49and follow me closely here, Jeeves,
10:51they used to attach a darning needle to it.
10:54And then at dead of night,
10:56they would sneak privily
10:57into the party of the second part's cubicle,
10:59and they would poke the needle
11:00through the bedclothes
11:01and puncture the water bottle.
11:05Oh, girls are so much subtler
11:06in these matters than boys, Jeeves.
11:08I'm sure you must be right, sir.
11:10And this, this is the girl
11:12that you call frivolous.
11:14Yes, sir, I do believe you.
11:15Well, anyone who could think
11:16I'm a wheeze like that
11:17is my idea of a helpmeet.
11:19Now, have you any idea
11:20where young Barmy sleeps?
11:21I believe he is currently
11:22installed in the Motrum zone.
11:24Hmph.
11:37Because you come to me
11:41with not save love
11:46and hold my hand
11:49and lift mine eyes above
11:53a wider world of hope and joy I see
11:58because you come to me
12:16because you come to me
12:20In accents meet, I find the roses waking round my feet.
12:31Jeeves?
12:33Yes, sir?
12:34You couldn't get me a darning needle, could you, and a bit of stick and some string?
12:38Because, use me, God, because God made me mine and cherished thee
13:06Through light and darkness, through all time, through thee
13:14One day is lovely, ever lovely night
13:27Because I'm leaving
13:43Most moving, most moving. See, she leaps.
13:48You are wonderful, wonderful.
13:50It reminds us of old country.
13:53My wife does not like to be reminded of old country.
13:56Thank you so much, Miss Bellinger.
13:58Sir Cuthbert and I are so starved of true culture, buried down here in the country.
14:04You're too kindly.
14:05Damn fine.
14:06June you can hum, tap your foot to, or whistle.
14:10That's absolutely...
14:12That's absolutely...
14:14Miss Bellinger, when you were last at La Scala, what was it you said?
14:17What do you think, Bertie?
14:20Well...
14:20Absolutely.
14:22What a wonderful noise she makes.
14:24It's quite amazing.
14:26You know, I've only known her a couple of weeks.
14:27Mm-hmm.
14:29I think I'm in love, Bertie.
14:31Oh, steady the buffs.
14:32Whenever my wife thinks of barmania, she weeps every time.
14:36I know, Professor Clutch, wasn't she wonderful?
14:38It was good times in old country.
14:41At university, I was professor of Slavonic languages.
14:45But we leave all behind.
14:47Our house in Stanislaus Avenue.
14:50Our party car in the countryside.
14:52Several children.
14:54Uh, dashed awkward.
14:55No, no, no, no.
14:56He's better here.
14:57Barmania is dumb.
14:59Oh!
15:00Oh!
15:01Oh!
15:02Oh!
15:03Oh!
15:04Oh!
15:05You were wonderful, darling.
15:07I mean, as far as I can see,
15:10the trick in playing the piano is to get one hand to do one thing,
15:14while the other one's doing something else.
15:17Well...
15:17Well, I mean, I can do that with a knife and fork.
15:20So I don't see why I should...
15:21Yes, but Mr. Fungi-Phibs...
15:22Good night, Lady Wickham.
15:23Oh, good night, Mr. Orster.
15:24I do hope you'll be quite comfortable.
15:26Oh, I'm sure I will.
15:27Good night, Barman.
15:28Good night.
15:29Sleep well.
15:32Good night, all.
15:33Good night.
15:33Good night.
15:34Good night.
15:34Good night, everybody.
15:35Good night.
17:45You.
17:46Right.
17:47Are you mad or what, Matt?
17:49No, no, no.
17:50I thought you were barmy.
17:53You thought I am barmy?
17:55Vladimir!
17:57The bed is wetty!
17:59No!
18:00Well, um, it was a joke, you see.
18:02Where is your room, my lunatic?
18:05Mine? Um...
18:07Well, uh, well, it's just about yours, the clock room.
18:09We will find it.
18:11Put on your robe, Aneta.
18:13Turn your back, lunatic.
18:16We will spend the finish of the night in your bed.
18:20You may sleep here.
18:21Come, Aneta.
18:25Oh, no, but...
18:27Oh, no, but...
18:29Oh, no, but...
18:52The bed room reminded her of her homeland, sir.
18:55Oh.
18:56And when did you discover this?
18:58Uh, late last night, sir.
19:00Late last night?
19:02And you cold-bloodedly stood by and let me walk to my certain doom?
19:08Yes, sir.
19:08I thought that on reflection you might prefer that your relationship with the Wickham family
19:12remained a distant one.
19:14A distant one?
19:16I'm about to propose to the daughter of the house this very a.m.
19:19Very good, sir.
19:23Shall I lay out our hand's tooth check suit, sir, for the journey?
19:26What journey?
19:28To London, sir.
19:29Lady Wickham has already asked Mr. Fungy Phipps to leave.
19:32Asked him to leave?
19:33During the night, sir, when Professor and Madame Cludge were occupying your bed, he
19:38entered their room and pierced their hot water bottle with a sharp implement.
19:43What an extraordinary coincidence, Jeeves.
19:45Barmy getting the same idea as I did.
19:47The concatenation of circumstance you described was not entirely unforeseen, sir.
19:51It appears that he received the suggestion from the young lady.
19:55From Miss Wickham?
19:56Yes, sir.
19:59You mean, at the same time that she was putting me up to the scheme of puncturing Barmy's hot
20:05water bottle, she was tipping Barmy off to puncturing mine?
20:09She is a young lady with a keen sense of humour, sir.
20:13You are cold, sir?
20:15Just shivering, Jeeves.
20:17The occurrence, if I may take the liberty of saying so, sir, may perhaps lend colour to
20:22the view which I put forward yesterday, that Miss Wickham, though in many respects a very
20:26charming young lady...
20:27Say no more, Jeeves.
20:29Love is dead.
20:30Very good, sir.
20:35Now there's a good ship, H.M. a stock robin' on a home trip.
20:41Up and down she's bobbing, though the crew's pretty tough.
20:44The sea is too rough, they're all fed up and say that they've had more than enough.
20:50You've got a father, he's an able seaman, and they call him Redhead Tom.
20:57I want to say I'll meet you, and with your friends I'll treat you, so who do you think
21:01I've heard a message from?
21:04Do you like that song, Jeeves?
21:06Well, sir?
21:08It's called 47 Ginger-Headed Sailors, Jeeves.
21:10It's all the rage of the drones at the moment.
21:12I can't say that I'm surprised to hear that, sir.
21:1747 Ginger-Headed Sailors, coming home across the briny sea, when the anchors wade and the
21:25journey's made, yes, they'll start the party with her, Eve, homie, hearty.
21:3047 Ginger-Headed Sailors, you can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us.
21:36An old maid down in Devon said my idea of heaven is 47 Ginger-Headed Sailors.
21:45Really speaks to me, that song, you know, Jeeves.
21:47I'm sorry to hear that, sir.
21:49Would you like to hear the rest of it?
21:50I shouldn't like to put you to any trouble, sir.
21:53This note was delivered for you by hand a few moments ago.
21:56Oh.
21:57Well, at least Mackintosh likes my singing.
21:59You know, I'm really going to miss the little fellow when Aunt Agatha gets back today.
22:06Well, of all the bally nerve, Jeeves.
22:09So?
22:09After everything she did to us last weekend, she wants us to give her lunch today.
22:14Sir?
22:14Miss Wickham, Jeeves, and two of her friends.
22:17She even specifies the menu.
22:20Ugh.
22:20Indeed, sir.
22:23Roly-poly pudding with lots of jam, oysters, ice cream, and plenty of chocolate.
22:29Must be on some kind of diet.
22:32Well, I shall have to go and remonstrate with her, Jeeves.
22:34Very good, sir.
22:35I shall go and purchase the comestibles.
22:37By no means, Jeeves.
22:39By no means.
22:40I can be chilled still, you know.
22:42Now, Bobby, after everything you've done to me, I just don't see how you have the almighty
22:47door...
22:47Oh, don't be such a stick, Bertie.
22:49It's all right about lunch, is it?
22:51No, it's dashed well, it's not all right.
22:53Oh, Bertie, I can't give Mr. Blumenfield lunch here.
22:56Look, the house is being decorated.
22:58Well, restaurants are open.
22:59I never thought you were small-minded, Bertie.
23:02Careful of those mouldings, George, hmm?
23:04Small-minded?
23:06Mr. Blumenfield's a fearfully important Broadway producer.
23:10I've got to read Mummy's play to him after lunch.
23:12I can't read him in a restaurant.
23:14Yes, but...
23:15Why does he want jam, roly-poly, and oysters?
23:18Well, he doesn't.
23:19That's for his son.
23:20Apparently, Mr. Blumenfield always banks on his verdict.
23:23He says an eight-year-old child's intelligence is exactly equal to Broadway audiences.
23:28Hmm.
23:29Well, I'm...
23:29I'm not going to sit around all afternoon while you read your mother's dratted play.
23:33Well, you're going to have lunch at the club, then?
23:35No, no, no.
23:36Oh, Bertie, you're such a dear.
23:39Help me, Brandon.
23:40He's armed.
23:42Don't he come nigh me, young sir.
23:46You cur.
23:49If you don't take your hands off that young woman...
23:54What, then?
23:56What'll he do to old Elias?
23:59Happen he'll take thy riding crop to him,
24:02like the old maester thy fathor be used to do?
24:07Daddy.
24:07Daddy.
24:07The dog's so cute, isn't he?
24:11Don't you like the play, son?
24:13Sure, I like it fine.
24:14But the dog's cuter.
24:17Yeah, sure.
24:18Sure he is.
24:19Ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:25Guess what?
24:27I'm going to the opera tonight.
24:29The opera, Tuppy?
24:31Chorus singing in the, um, Barbara Figaro.
24:34Is that the one about the pyramids?
24:35Sounds like it, by the name.
24:37I've never been to the opera before.
24:40Would you like to come with me, Bertie?
24:42Er, well, excuse me, sir. There's a Miss Wickham for you on the phone.
24:48Oh, right-o.
24:57Yes? Bobby? Yes, good.
25:03You've done what?
25:06But why? She'll kill me!
25:14Jeeves? I couldn't stop her, sir.
25:17Do you mean to say that you stood by and allowed Bobby Wickham make a present of my Aunt Agatha's
25:22dog to some perfect stranger?
25:24Jeeves, you know how headstrong a young lady she can be, sir.
25:27Was she mad?
25:28The child took a fancy to the animal, sir, and in order to ingratiate herself to the boy's father, she
25:33presented it to him.
25:35I'm lost, Jeeves. Sunk. Aunt Agatha is due here at six o'clock.
25:39If I might propose a course of action, sir?
25:41Don't do anything, Jeeves. Anything!
25:43Mr. Blumenfield and the young gentleman are attending a motion picture performance this afternoon, sir.
25:48They will not return to their hotel until five o'clock, at which time Miss Wickham will call on them
25:52to sign the contract for Lady Wickham's play.
25:55Should they be delayed, she is to go straight up to their suite and attend them.
25:59Well, I don't see how that helps us, Jeeves.
26:01If you will bear with me, sir, our first requirement is for aniseed.
26:07Aniseed?
26:08To sprinkle on the trousers, sir.
26:10Aniseed is commonly and extensively used in the dog napping industry.
26:14Oh, I didn't know that.
26:15Oh, yes, indeed, sir.
26:18Oink!
26:18Oink!
26:18Oink!
26:18Come out of there!
26:19Oink!
26:21Now, sir, you know how much the dog Mackintosh enjoys your singing?
26:31There's no writing to the trousers, sir.
26:4847 ginger-headed sailors.
26:51You can bet you're going to hear them when they hail us.
26:54And when it's over, there'll be a point in the room
26:58And what you say, I'll change your head
27:00So you know what you say, I'll change your head
27:03So you know what you say, I'll change your head
27:07Afternoon
27:07Bet you're going to hear my little head
27:11And when it's over, there'll be a point in the room
27:44Like a breeze, Jeeves, like a breeze
27:47Now, put the pooch somewhere where my trousers will cease to cast their spell
27:53Tell me, Jeeves, were you always like this, or did it come on suddenly?
27:57Sir?
27:58The brain, the grey matter
28:00Were you an outstandingly brilliant child?
28:02My mother thought me intelligent, sir
28:04Well, can't go by that
28:06My mother thought me intelligent
28:12Who is that, Jeeves?
28:14Probably Mr. Blumenfield Senior, sir
28:19What?
28:20He telephoned a short while ago to say that he was about to pay you a call, sir
28:24Oh, great, stop, Jeeves
28:26Get rid of him
28:31Jeeves
28:32I'll see what I can do, sir
28:34Right
28:39This guy, Wooster, where is he?
28:41I could not say, sir
28:43He sneaked my son's dog
28:46Most disturbing, sir
28:47You don't know where he is?
28:49My boy has his heart set on that little dog
28:51If he doesn't get it back, he's going to turn right against that play
28:55What's that smell in here?
28:57Um, aniseed, I suspect, sir
28:59Mr. Wooster likes to sprinkle it on his trousers
29:02What the hell does he do that for?
29:04I could not say, sir
29:05Mr. Wooster is an eccentric
29:08You mean he's a loony?
29:09Yes, sir
29:11Not, uh, dangerous
29:13Yes, sir
29:16With regard to the aniseed, sir
29:18I fancy I have now located it
29:20Unless I am very much mistaken
29:21It's proceeding from behind this sofa
29:24No doubt Mr. Wooster is sleeping there
29:26Doing what?
29:27Sleeping, sir
29:32Oh, my God
29:34Would you like me to wake him up, sir?
29:37No, no
29:38Just get me out of here alive
29:40That's all I ask
29:40Very good, sir
29:42I think I can do better than that
29:47Hey
29:49Here's a five-pound note
29:50Thank you very much indeed, sir
29:54This way, sir
29:57Thank you
29:58Good afternoon, Mr. Lumenfield
30:06Jeeves!
30:07Sir?
30:11I can't believe
30:13No, sir
30:15Mr. Wooster, sir
30:21The Astor Hotel
30:22You know where that is, buddy?
30:24Yes, sir
30:26My people are there
30:27Stop, stop
30:28Stop
30:28No
30:31Stop
30:37Aunt Agatha
30:38Aunt Agatha
30:40Aunt Agatha
30:46You can't come to the flat
30:47Why?
30:47I trust Macintosh as well
30:49No
30:49He isn't
30:50Well, yes, Macintosh is fine
30:52I'm coming in the lift
30:53Uh, no
30:54But no, but you can't go up there
30:55No, no
30:57No, you
30:58Nobody can
31:04Oh, no, look
31:06Jesus, in quarantine
31:11Your mouth is hanging open again, Bertie
31:15I
31:15Ah, there he is
31:19Come to Mother Macintosh
31:22How's my baby then?
31:25Hmm
31:25Mouth closed, Bertie
31:34But, Jeeves
31:36I'm sure Master Blumenfield Jr. will not detect the fact that I purchased another dog, sir
31:42Another dog?
31:44Except to the eye of love, sir
31:46One Aberdeen Terrier is much like another
32:17Isn't she wonderful?
32:18Oh
32:19Stunning
32:20Stunning
32:22Stunning
32:22Reminds me of that chap
32:23I used to play rugby with
32:24Um
32:27Oh, Buffy, don't do that
32:29That's it
32:29That's it, that's it
32:32Oh, not really
32:39Just something about the trousers
32:40× ×
32:4200
32:50Stunning
33:09I told you I had a special reason. Isn't she wonderful at the loud bits?
33:13Oh, yes.
33:15Look, the thing is, Bertie, what with her great soul and everything, she has this rather serious outlook on life.
33:21I want you to back me up, let her know I've got a serious mind and so forth.
33:25I didn't know you had any sort of a mind.
33:28That is just the sort of remark we don't want, thank you very much.
33:33Well, I suppose we'd better get backstage and meet her.
33:37Oh, I think I'd get some more opera first.
33:40Certainly not.
33:41Oh, yes, that was only Act One.
33:43Well, how many are there?
33:45Four.
33:46Good God!
33:49Well, it's wonderful.
33:51Super.
33:54What a treat.
34:20Come on, Bertie.
34:21Good work, sir.
34:24Oh, well done.
34:25Splendid.
34:26Yes, well done.
34:27Ah.
34:31Who is that?
34:32It's Hildebrand, darling!
34:34One moment, Hildebrand.
34:37Hildebrand?
34:37Just shut up.
34:38Just shut up.
34:41Gentlemen.
34:43Hello, Cora.
34:44You remember Bertie Worcester.
34:46What so, Cora?
34:47Good evening, Mr. Worcester.
34:49Sorry.
34:50Sorry, sorry.
34:53Topping show.
34:54Why, thank you.
34:55I did not know you were a devotee of the opera, Mr. Worcester.
35:00Well, I saw Naughty Naughty at the Hippodrome last year.
35:04Did you really?
35:06Hildebrand, I should be grateful if you do not smoke a cigar in my dressing room.
35:10Oh.
35:25Oh, he's so serious-minded, old tuppy.
35:29I beg your pardon?
35:30Tuppy, serious-minded.
35:32Oh, Lord, yes.
35:33Indeed?
35:34Hmm.
35:34Famous for him.
35:35I often say to him, you know, when we're at the races or drifting a few at the truck, I
35:38say to him, tuppy, old fellow, you are serious-minded, aren't you?
35:41Absolutely.
35:42Mm-hmm.
35:44Well, that went pretty well, I thought.
35:46Hmm.
35:46But how are you going to keep it up, tuppy?
35:48I have my long-term strategy, Bertie.
35:51You remember Beefy Bingham?
35:52Yes, I ran into him the other day.
35:54He's a parson now.
35:54Yes, quite.
35:55Down in the East End.
35:57Well, the thing is, Cora's frightfully keen on good works.
36:00So I've been helping Beefy out at the lads' club.
36:03He runs down there for the local toughs.
36:05Well, you know, the sort of thing.
36:06Coco and cribbage in the reading room and whatnot.
36:08Yes, I wonder where you've been getting to.
36:10And what's more, Cora's promised to sing at Beefy's next entertainment.
36:13And, mark my devilish ingenuity, Bertie, I'm going to sing too.
36:19And how is that going to get you anywhere?
36:20Because I intend to sing a song which will prove to her once and for all that there are great
36:24deeps in my nature.
36:26Well, I'm not going to sing one of your mouldy old comic songs.
36:28I'm going to sing about angels being lonely and, well, all that kind of stuff.
36:33Angels being lonely?
36:36You're not going to sing Sonny Boy?
36:38I jolly well am.
36:41The angels grew lonely.
36:44It took you because they were lonely.
36:47Now I'm lonely too.
36:49Sonny Boy!
36:53I can't be responsible for Tuppy's affairs of the heart.
36:57You may be my favourite nephew.
36:59But Aunt Dahlia!
36:59But he is your friend, Bertie.
37:02Up until about three weeks ago, that blasted glossop was all over my daughter.
37:08Haunting the house, lapping up daily lunches, dancing with her half a night and so on.
37:15Well, naturally, the poor kid imagined that it was only a question of time
37:19before he suggested they should feed for life out of the same bucket.
37:24And now he's gone and dropped Angela like a hot brick.
37:27And I hear he's infatuated with some singer.
37:30Hmm.
37:31Cora Bellinger.
37:32How do you know?
37:34I've met her.
37:35What's she like?
37:36A bit on the lines of the Albert Hall.
37:38I want this Bellinger business broken up, Bertie.
37:42A little thing like this should be child's play to Jeeves.
37:46From all I hear.
37:47From what Mr. Worcester has told me of the lady,
37:50I believe that should Miss Bellinger witness Mr. Glossop appearing to disadvantage in public,
37:55she would cease to entertain affection for him.
37:58In the event, for example, of his failing to please the audience on Tuesday with his singing.
38:05By Jove, you mean if he gets the bird, all will be off?
38:08I should be greatly surprised if this were not the case, sir.
38:12Ah, but we cannot leave this thing to chance, Jeeves.
38:14We need not leave it entirely to luck, sir.
38:17If Mr. Glossop were to sing Sonny Boy directly after you, too, sir, had sung Sonny Boy,
38:23I fancy the audience would have lost their taste for that particular song
38:27and would respond warmly, I'm sure.
38:30Jeeves, you are a marvel.
38:33Thank you, madam.
38:35Jeeves, you are an ass.
38:37Me sing Sonny Boy at one of Beefy Bingham's entertainments?
38:40Mr. Worcester has a pleasant light baritone, Mrs. Travers.
38:44He often uses it about the flat.
38:47Bertie, you'll sing it and like it.
38:59England, England, England,
39:03England, wherever the tearing up,
39:08by Arctic flow or torrent strands,
39:12like heroes, play their part.
39:22England, England, England, England,
39:26Not a large gathering, sir, but enthusiastically partisan.
39:30Oh, you here, Jeeves.
39:32Indeed, sir.
39:33I've been present since the commencement.
39:35Any casualties yet?
39:37Oh, no, sir.
39:37So I'll be the first, will I?
39:39By no means, sir.
39:42I anticipate that you will be well-received.
39:45Do you suppose for one moment
39:47that when Tuppy Glossop hears me sing that dashed song,
39:50he'll just stroll on a moment later and sing it too?
39:54Mr. Glossop will not hear you sing, sir.
39:58Eh?
39:59At my advice, he has stepped across the road to the dog and duck,
40:02and he intends to remain there
40:03until it's time for him to appear on the platform.
40:07Oh.
40:11Repeat.
40:17Thank you, Mr. Simpson.
40:20And now, an old friend of mine who's here to entertain us,
40:24Mr. Bertie Worcester.
40:27APPLAUSE
40:51Climb upon my knees, sunny boy,
40:56You are only three, sunny boy.
41:01You've no way of knowing,
41:04I've no way of showing
41:06what you mean to me, sunny boy.
41:10But don't forget it, I'm right.
41:12Well, there are gray skies,
41:15I don't mind those gray skies.
41:20Make the blue, sunny boy.
41:40You're sent from heaven and I know your worth.
41:47You made a heaven.
41:50You are only...
41:52La, la, la, la, la, la, la.
41:54Mm-hmm.
41:55Mm-hmm.
41:55Mm-hmm.
41:56Mm-hmm.
41:58Mm-hmm.
42:00Time, Mr. Glossop, sir?
42:02Thank you, G.
42:08The angels grew lonely
42:13Took you because they were lonely
42:18Now I'm lonely too,
42:22Sunny boy.
42:36And now, a real treat,
42:39someone who's become very familiar to us
42:41at the cribbage board over the past few weeks,
42:43but tonight, he's going to sing for us,
42:45Mr. Hildebrand Glossop.
42:55Mr. Glossop has also helped us with the ping-pong.
43:01Most professionally performed, if I may say so, sir.
43:03You may, James, you may.
43:05Mind you, the bird was definitely hovering in the air.
43:08I could feel the beating of its wings.
43:10I fancy the audience may have lost their taste
43:12for this particular melody, sir.
43:14Eh?
43:15I should perhaps have mentioned it earlier, sir,
43:18but the song was performed twice before you arrived.
43:21Without any further ado, I'll hand you...
43:23Do you mean to tell me, James, that you deliberately...
43:25I think Mr. Glossop is about to begin, sir.
43:27Ten of voice.
43:35Climb upon my knees, Sunny boy
43:39You are only three, Sunny boy
43:43There's no way of knowing
43:45You have no way of showing
43:47What you mean to be, Sunny boy
43:52When there are many skies
43:55You have to have to have a great sky
43:58You make a blow, Sunny boy
44:02And your friends may forsake you
44:06You have to have a great sky
44:06You have to have a great sky
44:06You have to have a great sky
44:08You have to have a great sky
44:10Let them all, for the sake
44:12You have made me wrong, sir
44:15I'll give up for that, sir
44:16But you've got a great sky
44:18This is unfair
44:20This is unfair
44:20This is unfair
44:21Surgeon's knife-age, Eves
44:23Precisely, in saying
44:24Yes, I think we may definitely consider
44:26the Glossop-Bellinger romance of
44:28Lucky Riot
44:31The next item on the programme
44:34Was to have been songs
44:36By Miss Cora Bellinger
44:38The well-known operatic soprano
44:40Now, I've just received a telephone message
44:43From Miss Bellinger
44:44Saying that her car has broken down
44:46Now, she is, however
44:48On her way in a cab
44:50And will arrive shortly
44:52Now, in the meantime
44:53Perhaps our old friend, Mr Enoch
44:56Jeeves!
44:56She wasn't even here
44:57Oh, so it would seem, sir
45:00So she never saw Tuppy's Waterloo
45:02This whole agony has been for nothing
45:04Most unfortunate, sir
45:06Well, I'm going home, Jeeves
45:09Never, never, never
45:11Involve me in one of your schemes again
45:13Very good, sir
45:14With your permission, sir
45:16I would like to witness
45:17The remainder of the entertainment
45:19No, rather you than me, Jeeves
45:21Firstly, my heart has turned to stone
45:23May I?
45:24With our way of heathen his name
45:27He will have money
45:30Fire and status
45:35Mr. Jeeves
45:42Good evening, madam
45:48Good break
45:50Good break
46:02I'm so glad you're here
46:04Thank you
46:04Yes, thank you, Mr. Simpson
46:06Thank you
46:25And, um, now and well worth waiting for
46:29I'm sure you'll agree
46:30Miss Cora Belanger
46:32Thank you
46:53Thank you
47:34You know, Jeeves, I had one of the rummiest phone calls in a lifetime of rummy phone calls last night.
47:40Indeed, sir.
47:41From my Aunt Dahlia.
47:42She told me that Tuppy was there with Angela and that all was over between him and Miss Bellinger.
47:47I confess that I had anticipated some such eventuality, sir.
47:53Eh?
47:54The thought came to me when I observed Miss Bellinger strike Mr. Glossop in the eye, sir.
47:59What on earth did she do that for?
48:01I fancy she was upset, sir, at the vigour with which the audience expressed their disapproval of her choice of
48:06song.
48:08Now, Jeeves, you're not going to tell me that Miss Bellinger sang Sunny Boy 2?
48:14Yes, sir.
48:15Well, what an extraordinary coincidence.
48:19Eh, not entirely, sir.
48:20I took the liberty of accosting Miss Bellinger on her arrival at the hall
48:25and saying that Mr. Glossop had requested that she sing Sunny Boy as a particular favour to him, sir.
48:33I say, Jeeves.
48:34Precisely, sir.
48:35She supposed that she had been the victim of a practical pleasantry by Mr. Glossop.
48:39She took it hard, sir.
48:42Good heavens, Jeeves.
48:44Shall I run your bath, sir?
48:45Thank you, Jeeves, yes.
48:47Oh, Jeeves.
48:50Yes, sir?
48:52Those plus sixes, Jeeves.
48:54Get rid of them, will you?
48:56Thank you, sir.
48:57It will be a wrench at first, but you'll feel better for it.
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