00:27Flash
00:30To our specimen, a suit of skin.
00:33To us, sculpting clay.
00:35A blank canvas promising infinite aesthetic possibility.
00:42Huh? I ain't no canvas.
00:44Let me out of here. Let me out of here.
00:48Don't touch me. No, no.
00:53Brethren, let the procedure begin.
01:09If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who are you going to call?
01:18If there's something weird and it don't look good, who are you going to call?
01:25That's right.
01:32Are you ready to go ghost?
01:34Can I see you in pain?
01:36Run into your head?
01:39Who are you going to call?
01:41Ghostbusters.
01:45Ghostbusters.
01:45Are you ready to go ghost?
01:49You know, busting makes me feel good.
01:53Are you ready to go ghost?
01:56Are you ready to go ghost?
01:57Oh, my god.
02:02Go ghost.
02:04Oh, my god.
02:11Oh, my god.
02:13I'm ready to go ghost.
02:17Oh, my god.
02:18Are you ready to go ghost?
02:20Oh, my god.
02:27much blood and viscera. But clearly, gore sells and his preteen fans are crying for
02:33more. I'm crying for less. Klein's giving demonology a bad rep. His books have no basis
02:43in reality. Hey, Busters, any calls? Tons. That's why we're sitting here not moving.
02:50I think Eduardo's being sarcastic. Thanks, Roland. I didn't mean who you're going to
02:56call calls. I meant personal calls. For me. Specifically from hair-raising tales. The
03:04horror magazine? The very same one that gave Stephen King and J.N. Klein their starts.
03:10I'm waiting to hear back about my manuscript. Say what? What? I wrote a story. Way to go,
03:19Garrett. I didn't realize you had literary ambitions, Hemingway. Literary? Ha! I have
03:26celebrity ambitions. If Klein can get on Letterman, I can too. But the fans are restless. Klein hasn't
03:36been seen or heard from in several months. Has he retired? Or has he just gone into seclusion,
03:43working hard on his next long overdue gore fest? Maybe he's dead.
03:51If he won't give his fans what they want, I will. Well, is it for me? It's for all of
03:57you. We've got a Code 7
03:59abduction by bipedal interdimensional corporeals in triplicate. So, Garrett, how, uh, reality-based
04:08is your story? I think what Roland's politely fishing for is, we're in it, right? Yeah, we're in it.
04:15For about a page. Then we die, squealing for mercy. We what? Well, not all of us. The, ahem,
04:25handsome guy in the wheelchair lives. What a shock. Well, it's okay, Garrett. I'm sure you had
04:32artistic reasons. Roland, don't be such a simp. Hey, don't take it personally, guys. It's just
04:38more commercial with one hero. Besides, I get to avenge your deaths. Garrett, you made us squeal for
04:47mercy. I am not a squealer. I'll tell you what. I'll bring you back as ghosts in the sequel. Promise?
04:56They didn't know I was here. But they took Jimmy. He was screaming. Screaming. They didn't know I was
05:05here. Can you describe them? They took Jimmy. Screaming. They took him.
05:14Who took Jimmy? There were three of them. One of them had a saw in his skull. A saw?
05:25You mean like a Black and Decker? Craniac. A wussyac? What? Am I the only guy in the room
05:31who reads J.N. Klein? Craniac. He's the main monster from all the books. You read J.N.
05:38Klein? You read?
05:40My little brother reads J.N. Klein.
05:43You read kids' books? Yeah, well, I read them to kids. Hey, hey, they're gory, you know.
05:52This is reality, not fiction, Eduardo.
05:54I can't help but if he says the dude looks like Craniac. Please, find Jimmy. He never did
06:01anybody harm.
06:14Oh!
06:37New flesh. Be with us. Be one of us.
06:49Don't let it bug you, Pachuco. They may be the brains of this operation, but you and
06:53me were the butt kickers. Especially me. And speaking of you, I didn't know you were such
07:01a horror fan. A lot of them you don't know. Well, tell me, as a fan of the genre, did
07:08my
07:08story rock? Well, um, go on. Tell it to me like it is. I can take it. He stunk. Bad.
07:19Bad. Bad.
07:31Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
07:49Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
07:49Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
07:49Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
07:49Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad.
07:49Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad
07:49These things are supposed to be scary.
07:51Your story has no jeopardy.
07:53It's just 40 pages of you,
07:55blowing away ghosts and chasing skirts.
07:57What's wrong with that?
07:58Hey, Iron Johns, cut the guy talk.
08:01We got a call.
08:03Blowing away ghosts.
08:04It's what I do.
08:14Whoa, deja vu.
08:16Why does that look familiar?
08:17Because we saw it on TV today.
08:20It's Klein's mansion.
08:23Think it's another coincidence?
08:38In there!
08:40It's horrible!
08:42Guy with a saw on his head?
08:43Yes!
08:44How did you know?
08:47Trying to tell you.
09:05no that's jimmy he's the guy we're looking for who meat face you got a concussion sister
09:11no kylie's right that's what they do turn people into freaks and stuff just like them
09:17who you know
09:22craniac eduardo not now who knows my name
09:31kylie's books have no basis in reality huh one mistake
09:40truth or fiction either way craniac is dust
09:54shepard i don't think that words in my vocabulary but it blew him up that's not supposed to happen
10:00hey results is results
10:06think again you cannot harm us who are those guys the big one's core puzzle
10:20jimmy look at yourself please jimmy don't let it happen to them help me get everyone out of here
10:38not what i had in mind
11:01don't let him eat my brain
11:05and he wonders where i get squealing for mercy
11:11tea time
11:13corpuscle catch
11:35okay what have we learned proton bees won't take them down check which means they're not ecto as we know
11:42it
11:42the ghost trap is useless if it is not written
11:46it cannot be done
11:54what do they mean by that
11:55it's me
11:56you're the expert
11:58that part's not in the books
11:59i'm going after the hostages
12:04roland
12:05guys help
12:11okay bookworm
12:13answer the sixty four thousand dollar question
12:15how are these fictional characters coming to life
12:17maybe they're not fictional
12:19maybe they've always been around and klein just decided to write about them
12:23or maybe they're the vathak
12:26the huthak
12:27the vathak
12:28the spirit guide says
12:30they're spectral forms who enter the realm of the living through the act of writing
12:34you mean a writer channels them into our world
12:38by writing about them
12:39which explains why we can't nuke them
12:42if it is not written
12:44it cannot be done
12:45if the text says they're indestructible
12:47then that's what they'd be
12:49you think klein's behind it
12:51i hope so
12:53kicking klein's ghost loving bottle gave me some great publicity
12:56the clash
12:57of the literary titans
13:13sounds like an invitation to me
13:33shh
13:35shh
13:35shh
13:39shh
13:43oh i'm a sucker for sucker shots
13:45no it's not a vathak
13:48it's one of their victims
13:49i know
13:50gonna suck the evil right out of them
13:52and if it doesn't work that way
13:54he blows up real good
13:56you're quick
13:57can we just find roland huh
13:59i mean before they turn him into a gunhead too
14:20big house
14:22he could be anywhere
14:38like a trail of breadcrumbs
14:47kline stop typing now
14:49why are you doing this
14:53forget about me
14:55save your friend
14:58roland
14:59the book
15:03craniac resembled a demented butcher
15:05but he didn't see himself that way
15:07for to the vathak
15:08mutation was a sublime art form
15:10we know this part
15:11skip ahead
15:17roland struggled bravely
15:19but helplessly
15:20the ghostbuster was a moment away from becoming
15:23inhuman
15:26jeopardy
15:26kline knows how to write
15:28his screams could not be heard
15:30sealed as they were within the chamber of unspeakable deeds
15:33deep below the mansion
15:36hurry
15:37if it is written
15:38we know
15:39we know
15:40let's go
15:42what if it's unwritten
15:44kill off those vathak deadbeats
15:46write them out of the story
15:47i can't
15:50voices in my head
15:52won't stop
15:56bid your humanity farewell
15:58embrace us
16:00embrace the vathak
16:03go on
16:04take me
16:05when my friends find you
16:06they'll make you pay
16:08they cannot destroy us
16:10if it is not written
16:12it cannot be done
16:22i'll just have to rewrite this thing myself
16:24prepare to alter roland's flesh
16:26yada yada yada
16:27the gleaming exquisite lethal blade
16:28blade
16:29backspace correction
16:30it doesn't say blade
16:31i'll make it say
16:34egg
16:35what
16:38intruders
16:39in the library
16:41the book must not be unwritten
16:49and
16:50and uh
16:51they weren't just regular monkeys
16:52they were
16:53rabid monkeys
16:54with
16:56tire irons
17:00you will not
17:02disrupt him
17:03he is on a
17:05deadline
17:06uh-oh
17:20hide
17:21listen up
17:22a 16-ton anvil
17:24dropped from the ceiling
17:26crushing the vathak creeps like bugs
17:30i'm in trouble
17:33huh
17:34roland
17:35you're alright
17:36i thought maybe you'd be dead
17:38yeah
17:38me too
17:43oh man
17:47your flesh is ours
17:49right his demise
17:52scribe
17:55maybe he doesn't feel like it
17:57oh
17:58he feels like it
18:00the scribe is but an instrument of our will
18:04we are the true authors
18:07we tell him what to write
18:10hurting people wasn't part of the deal
18:13you said your ideas were fiction
18:15they were fiction
18:17until you made us real
18:20you tricked me into writing you into existence
18:23you gained from our alliance
18:26wealth
18:27fame
18:28success
18:30and now you will finish our masterwork
18:33so that we may live forever
18:35never before
18:37has a novel by j.n.cline ended like this
18:41yes
18:42yes
18:43this time
18:44the vathak will win
18:48and the humans lose
18:53bow to your masters
18:55we can't let him finish the book
18:58we can't let him finish the book
18:59we've got to destroy the text
19:01the book will be finished
19:05the book will be done
19:07and together
19:08we will change the face
19:10we will change the face of humanity
19:12we will change the face of humanity
19:38I'm going to finish the face of humanity
19:40my way
19:41the handsome ghost butt kicker
19:44sat defiant
19:45and uh
19:48and uh
19:49and uh
19:50and what
19:50I don't know
19:51you try being creative under this kind of pressure
19:56give it up Garrett
19:58you stink
19:59bad
20:18thank you
20:20for releasing me
20:25so Jimmy
20:26how about those pies
20:31another rejection notice
20:33hey
20:33I can take it
20:36what hurts
20:37is the success
20:38Klein's having
20:39with his new book
20:40at my expense
20:41I liked it
20:42so did my little brother
20:44a somewhat more realistic depiction
20:46of demonology
20:47than his earlier work
20:48ah
20:48you guys just like it
20:50cause you're all in it
20:51yeah
20:51alive
20:52well
20:53so are you Garrett
20:54yeah
20:55the loud mouth guy
20:57in the wheelchair
20:59if it is written
21:01it must be true
21:04next
21:14when the things that slitter in the shadows
21:18keep you up late at night
21:23when there's something lurking in your closet
21:28who can make you feel alright
21:31keep you up late at night
21:34Woo!
21:36Woo!
21:37Woo!
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