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Watch Going Dutch Season 1 Episode 2 (2025) full episode online in HD quality. Stream the latest episode of Going Dutch on Dailymotion now.
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00:01Let's go!
00:02She has no recollection of the last eight years.
00:06I came here to help you.
00:07Kitchen Nightmares.
00:08Are you in and going Dutch?
00:12First guns I've seen on the base.
00:14All available now.
00:22You're too fat to be here.
00:23So should we, like, move to a conference room?
00:27I mean, I wouldn't mind more leg room, no offense.
00:30You can't say that, sir.
00:31Here in the army. He's too fat to be here in the army.
00:34Not too, like, fat to live.
00:35No, we talked about body positive language.
00:37No, no, no. You talked about it.
00:38There's a weight requirement in the army.
00:39There's a physical fitness requirement.
00:41But she can't pass.
00:41He's working on it.
00:42He doesn't get a trophy for trying.
00:44What is it with your generation and trophies?
00:46Don't go off on this rant again.
00:47Not going off on a rant. Stop trying to body shame him.
00:50I want him to be ashamed of that body in that ACU.
00:53Sorry, sir. I don't do shame.
00:55I left society's mind prison years ago.
00:57Let me tell you something, mister.
00:58Everything about you is against army regulation.
01:01Your mustache, your hair, your attitude.
01:04Is that even army issued?
01:05Jacket and pants are actually from a XXXL G.I. Joe costume.
01:08But you don't like me wearing this uniform?
01:10That's fine by me.
01:11It's Cotton Blender's ass. I'm pitted out by 10 a.m.
01:14Oh, okay.
01:14What the Colonel is too angry to say is that wearing a uniform is non-negotiable.
01:18It's what makes you a soldier.
01:19Correct.
01:19Jacket is head of IT.
01:21Am I really a soldier, though?
01:22Yes.
01:23You made a commitment to serve your country.
01:24You're a soldier.
01:25But am I really?
01:26I mean, come on.
01:27You're suspended from active duty.
01:28If this is the future of combat, you know what?
01:30General Davidson's here, sir.
01:32What?
01:32No, no.
01:33You can't see him.
01:34I'll never hear the end of it.
01:35We got to put him in the supply closet.
01:36Let's go.
01:37Get up.
01:37Get up.
01:38What?
01:38Yeah.
01:39Wait a second.
01:40Why can't I just go in the closet voluntarily?
01:41You're not going to fit.
01:42It's going to be a smoosh job.
01:43Let's go.
01:43Come on, come on.
01:44Take that.
01:45I'm going in the closet.
01:47Get low.
01:47Okay.
01:48All right.
01:48Take a breath.
01:49Take a breath.
01:49Breathe in.
01:49Come on.
01:50Watch your butt.
01:51There we go.
01:51Are you just going to stand there?
01:53Come on.
01:53Help.
01:54Corporal Papadakis, move your ass.
01:56Move your ass.
01:57Here we go.
01:58Wait, wait.
01:59You got it?
02:00Turn it.
02:00Uh-oh.
02:01Uh-oh.
02:01Got it.
02:03Welcome to Stroopstorf, sir.
02:26I wanted to see with my own eyes just how far you've fallen.
02:30Yikes.
02:31You've gone from warmonger to cheesemonger.
02:34Thank you, sir.
02:35Always nice of you to drop by.
02:36Actually, I need your help with my upcoming NATO tank maneuvers.
02:40Oh, really?
02:41Mm-hmm.
02:41What, uh, unit would I be commanding?
02:43Traffic.
02:44Service patients exist to assist.
02:45You didn't think I was going to actually let you participate.
02:48Let me be clear.
02:48Your career is over.
02:50You will never command a tank again.
02:52You have been sent out to pasture.
02:55At least this one has tulips.
02:59He's all yours.
03:02How'd it go?
03:03Great.
03:03Gonna be crossing guards for tank maneuvers.
03:06Traffic.
03:06That's huge.
03:08Yep.
03:08Huge insult.
03:10Mm, why are you smiling?
03:11Because we're gonna steal a tank.
03:15Oh, God.
03:19Did you forget about me?
03:20Yep.
03:21Let's run through the plan one more time, Major.
03:24General Davidson's running tank maneuvers in rural Germany.
03:26It's exclusively using older tanks so the Army can see which ones need to be replaced.
03:31Our mission?
03:32Steal a decommissioned Abrams tank.
03:34First, I use the magic that is me to borrow an HET, the only tow truck large enough to haul
03:39a tank.
03:40Then I will drop a signal blocker.
03:42That way, when the first tank breaks down, I'm the only one to respond.
03:46Looking like a badass.
03:47Copy that.
03:48On our way.
03:48Then, we haul the tank onto our HET.
03:52This is the most difficult part of the mission, which is why I'll be taking it on myself.
03:56And I get to mail a decommission report to cover our tracks.
04:02Hooray.
04:03This plan shows that you don't know the Stroopstorf soldiers at all.
04:07We're not being utilized correctly.
04:09Some of us have too much to do and others not nearly enough.
04:12If you're referring to your reduced role, that is because I suspected you lack enthusiasm.
04:16Permission to speak freely, sir.
04:18What have you been doing up to now?
04:19The mission is stupid.
04:20If you get caught, your career is over.
04:22So all the more reason to put us in the right spots, starting with me.
04:26In the leadership position.
04:27You can't complain that the mission is stupid and then bitch about the size of your role in it.
04:31That's like saying the meal sucks, but the portions are too small.
04:33Major Shaw, you can't think this is a good idea.
04:36Yeah, I'm just gonna throw the tank away.
04:37We need it more.
04:38We're not a combat base without a tank.
04:40We're not a combat base.
04:41Not without a tank we're not.
04:42I'm glad we agree on that.
04:43I think we're saying the same thing.
04:44This will be a disaster.
04:46You can't give BA this much responsibility.
04:49BA's gonna be fine.
04:50You forgot to breathe during our fantasy football draft and you passed out.
04:54He folds under the slightest pressure.
04:56No, I don't.
04:57Yes, you do.
04:58You're right, I do.
04:59Not to mention, the biggest flaw in your plan here is you.
05:03You've never been behind the wheel of an 18-wheeler in your life.
05:06How would you know?
05:07I was never around.
05:08Remember?
05:08Good one, sir.
05:09All right, listen.
05:10Everybody has a lot to do.
05:11Go do it.
05:12Dismissed.
05:14Listen, Sergeant, you gotta get me a driving instructor.
05:17I've never driven an 18-wheeler in my life.
05:19I gotcha, Colonel.
05:20Okay.
05:22Nothing I ever do is good enough for him.
05:25Look, I'm sorry you feel left out of the mission.
05:28But honestly, you're better off.
05:29It's already a pain in my ass.
05:30Do you need help getting that EGT?
05:32Oh, please.
05:32That took two phone calls.
05:34I met this Dutch weirdo named Boz smoking hookah at an art gallery showing.
05:37Turns out his company makes the H-E-T.
05:40His words.
05:40Oh, that's perfect.
05:42Running a black market deal will prove to my dad that he needs me on the mission.
05:45I'm surprised you want in.
05:47I'd call you a goody-two-shoes, but that would imply that those shoes look good.
05:50They're a sign.
05:51Yeah, a sign to hurt my eyes.
05:53Who'd Conway get to teach me?
05:55Local businesswoman.
05:56She said they were the only person in Stroopstorf with a big rig license.
05:58Okay, cool.
05:59Oh, hey!
06:01How you doing?
06:02That's the manor from Navarro.
06:05Is that a problem?
06:05We had this kind of a thing moment at the tulip festival.
06:10I'm not gonna do anything.
06:11I'm just concerned for her because she was so clearly into me and I'm not gonna do anything.
06:17Good.
06:18Colonel Queen.
06:19Hey!
06:19Without the fancy uniform, you are less striking than I remember.
06:24And you're more blunt than I remember.
06:26Not blunt, just Dutch.
06:28We believe politeness is deceit.
06:30Check on the AGT for me.
06:31You're my eyes on this, alright?
06:32Make sure these other idiots step up to my standard of excellence.
06:36I'm going in.
06:46What level of excellence was that?
06:48Ah, this truck sucks.
06:50We need another one.
06:54When I was studying for my PhD, I took a job as a long hauler.
06:59I listened to the required reading on audiobook.
07:01Get paid to study.
07:05Now, you try again and try not to embarrass yourself.
07:10Eighteen gears.
07:11There's too many gears.
07:13I think you are bringing your troubles into the truck.
07:16I'm working with my daughter.
07:18Everything's a battle with her and not the fun kind.
07:21You thought you would learn how to drive this truck to prove something to her.
07:25I'm not trying to prove anything to her.
07:26I'm trying to prove to my enemies that I'm still in my prime.
07:31Late prime.
07:32Tail-end prime.
07:33I don't mind acknowledging the passage of time.
07:36At my age, I no longer have the energy to do everything.
07:39So, I preserve my energy for what I'm good at.
07:44You can go ahead and sleep it in.
07:47What?
07:47Into Turkey.
07:48Oh, yeah.
07:59Hey, Major.
08:00What are you doing here?
08:02Uninvited.
08:04Underdressed.
08:04Okay.
08:05So, I got a question for you.
08:06Mm-hmm.
08:07Why are you throwing an eighth-grade graduation party at Mar-a-Lago?
08:10Boz wanted to celebrate American excess.
08:13So, I got beer pong and a room temperature 12-layer dip and a Hulk Hogan impersonator.
08:20Mmm, not so good.
08:21Okay.
08:21It's the Netherlands.
08:22If I was in Tampa, I could throw a rock and hit a Hulk Hogan.
08:26Okay.
08:27And how does Jan fit into this?
08:28Oh, Boz likes improv comedy.
08:31Would you like a cocktail?
08:32Yes, please.
08:33There you go.
08:34There you go.
08:34Oh, no.
08:35You dropped it.
08:35Oh, no.
08:36Oh, my God.
08:37What's wrong with you?
08:37It's okay.
08:38I have a broom.
08:39Okay.
08:40So, we show Boz a great time.
08:41He agrees to loan us the tow truck and then we steal ourselves a tank.
08:44Easy peasy.
08:44Nice work, Captain.
08:45All right.
08:46I got it from here.
08:47Whoa, no.
08:48This is my thing.
08:51I'm running it.
08:53So, but thank you.
08:53No.
08:54I'm your superior officer who's been ordered by his superior officer to make sure that things
08:58run smoothly.
08:59So, I'm going to be running this.
09:00How am I ever supposed to earn the Colonel's respect if I'm never given the chance?
09:05Look, I've negotiated with warlords.
09:07I think I can handle a Dutch party boy.
09:08Okay.
09:09We're here.
09:10Let's go.
09:10Red, white, blue.
09:12No?
09:12Okay.
09:13Hi.
09:14Cheeseburger.
09:15Free the fry.
09:18Boz.
09:19Maggie put this all together for you.
09:21Pleasure to finally meet you and I hope that you're ready to be wined and dined.
09:25And 79.
09:26Yes.
09:28Or 69.
09:31Maybe if it was the 1920s.
09:34Things have advanced a little further here on the continent.
09:38Okay.
09:38Yeah, I didn't know that they invented a new sex thing out here.
09:40I wasn't, uh, given the update.
09:43Boss Baby.
09:44Can I call you Boss Baby?
09:45Not like the movie Boss Baby, which is a solid movie.
09:48A hilarious Halloween costume if you have a newborn.
10:00I'll get out there.
10:01I'll see y'all.
10:01I'll see you guys out there.
10:02What do we got?
10:03He said you have to go.
10:04To the state?
10:05Go.
10:06You gotta go.
10:07Okay.
10:08Yeah.
10:11You have picked it up quickly.
10:13I had a great teacher.
10:14You find your whole bluntness thing very intriguing.
10:17I'm intrigued by you as well.
10:19Well, most of the soldiers in Struvstorf are flap trolls.
10:22It best translates as useless turds.
10:25But you are clearly not a flap troll.
10:28So what am I?
10:31A emotionally closed off father with no connection to his adult daughter.
10:35You see a lot of bad fathers in my work.
10:38Oh, yeah.
10:39Sex work.
10:40Higher education.
10:42But yeah, the sex work too.
10:45You can drop me off up here.
10:47Okay.
10:47If you desire better communication with your daughter, a compliment can go a long way.
10:54Well, listen.
10:55I'd love to learn something else from you sometime.
11:00What's your PhD in?
11:01Intersectional Feminism and Late-Stage Capitalism.
11:05Oh.
11:06Fun.
11:12Beautiful night.
11:13Wow.
11:14The stars really just...
11:15You came out here to make sure I didn't go back inside, didn't you?
11:18Yeah.
11:19Sorry, Buzz.
11:20I really hate you.
11:23Is Papadakis having a seizure?
11:24He's doing the worm.
11:26His version of it.
11:28I'm sorry I didn't fit into your party.
11:30To be fair, I spend most of my time as an angry boomer sounding board.
11:33What is it like being the only person in the world who receives my father's attention and affection?
11:39It's not that great.
11:40Don't lie to me.
11:41It's the best.
11:42His love is like a scarce resource, so it's more valuable than everyone else's.
11:45That's what I thought.
11:47That used to be enough to serve him while I served in the army.
11:55Lately, I've been thinking I need to start trying to serve myself sometimes.
12:02Yeah.
12:03Hey.
12:03Hey.
12:04Um, Buzz wanted us to throw him a party in order to feel comfortable enough to lend us the H
12:10-E-T.
12:11Right.
12:11So I made it happen.
12:13Great job.
12:14Is that a compliment?
12:15Compliments can go a long way.
12:17Mm-hmm.
12:17And this, obviously, very successful.
12:20I think parties is something I can be so positive with you, you know, about.
12:27Okay.
12:29Well, I'm sure this means that I will have more responsibility in the mission moving forward.
12:34Ooh, let's not get ahead of ourselves.
12:36That's a whole different thing.
12:37I just secured us the H-E-T.
12:39By throwing a party, which I just complimented you on.
12:41But it doesn't mean you're talented enough for a tactical mission.
12:45Talented enough.
12:45I'm not talented enough.
12:47I am an officer who deserves your respect.
12:50I don't know why, after a compliment, you're still arguing with me.
12:53You're not doing anything the prostitute said you were gonna do.
12:58What am I supposed to do with that?
12:59I don't know.
13:00Throw a party.
13:02But we gotta go.
13:02We have a tank to steal.
13:16This H-E-T's got a different gear shift than the one I trained on.
13:18Oh, well, this model is a few years older than the one you asked for.
13:22But we got a way better deal for it.
13:23And there's this.
13:24Boss threw this in.
13:25It's gonna look great hanging in the D-Fact as it doubles in value.
13:29Abstract impressionism is back, baby.
13:31I mean...
13:32Sir.
13:33At least I can count on B.A. to do what I told him, right?
13:43B.A., what are you doing here?
13:49Medic!
13:51Private B.A.
13:53B.A.
13:54Colonel, I think we should abort.
13:55A stable tank requesting pickup.
13:57Aha!
13:58See?
13:58Nothing to worry about.
13:59Mm-hmm.
14:01That's not an Abrams.
14:03Good eye.
14:03It's a German leopard.
14:04It's a German tank.
14:06Yeah.
14:06I mean, now I'm remembering Davidson said it was NATO maneuvers, but I just assumed it was
14:10gonna be an American Abrams, but no biggie.
14:13Yeah, no biggie.
14:13No biggie.
14:14No one in our entire army knows how to work this thing.
14:17It's basically a 60-ton paperweight.
14:19I need to find second reverses.
14:21Hang on a second.
14:22Okay.
14:23Ah, there we go.
14:23Are you serious right now?
14:24You're putting your cheaters on?
14:26What's wrong?
14:27Everything is wrong.
14:29You're stealing a tank you can't use and a truck that you can't drive on a mission
14:32you didn't need to take.
14:33Why are we even here?
14:34We're here to prove to Davidson and everybody else that I am still in my prime.
14:38You're in your prime.
14:39My late prime.
14:40I'm Jordan on the Wizards.
14:41That's who I am.
14:42Jordan on the Wizards was terrible.
14:44He bullied all the younger players and was shooting 18-foot fadeaways.
14:53What just happened?
14:54Somebody stole the tank that we were gonna steal.
15:00I know B.A. and the tank are out there somewhere.
15:02This is ridiculous.
15:03We lost a soldier and a 60-ton tank doesn't just disappear.
15:08The tank is here now, behind you.
15:12Oh.
15:13How'd your mission go?
15:14Mine went, uh, pretty well.
15:18After I left the party where my father called and then I played Instagram detective on NATO tank operators,
15:24DM'd one that had a Dutch girlfriend, and offered to transfer to Stroopstorf.
15:29And then I rode all the way here.
15:32Hatched down, wind in my hair, lies in my mouth.
15:35Hmm.
15:36Why?
15:37To prove to you that I am talented enough to be in your army.
15:40Talented enough to steal this from right under your nose.
15:44Yeah, but why?
15:46Why did you bring it here?
15:47I was gonna tow it to a barn outside of town.
15:49Don't you think it's a tad conspicuous that we have a tank the day after tank maneuvers?
15:53Yes, but I was so focused on completing the mission that I didn't consider the consequences.
16:02Which is just like every other U.S. Army mission since 2001.
16:05Sir, General Davidson is here.
16:06Why do you think he's here?
16:09Because of the...
16:10Can't hear you.
16:11Because of the tank that's here.
16:13We found this shaved gerbil at HQ.
16:15Under questioning, he admitted helping the Colonel get his tank.
16:18So you stole the tank from our maneuvers, and now I can finally drum you out for good.
16:27I'm the one who did it.
16:30I'm the one who should be punished, sir.
16:31Hold up, Captain.
16:32I think punishment might be too strong a word for spending base resources on the painting.
16:38The painting?
16:40The painting?
16:41The one that Private B.A. was referencing, entitled Tank.
16:45The Captain had it commissioned to commemorate our participation in your operation.
16:49Why is it called Tank? I don't even see a tank.
16:52You'd have to ask the artist.
16:53Local guy. Very talented.
16:55If he's local, then I should be able to ask him.
16:57Sure.
17:00So my work is politically neutral, but emotionally, it's revolutionary.
17:05I try not to challenge the mind, rather whisper in your ear, tickling down your neck with hot breath of
17:13modern world.
17:14Jan is really good at improv.
17:16I think I see today.
17:18Yeah, Major Shah definitely bought us some time, but General Colombo's gonna keep asking questions.
17:23Don't worry, though. I have a plan.
17:25So I was...
17:26No, no, I'm thinking. I'm... I'm... I might have...
17:30Captain?
17:33If you want to convince the Colonel that you have the best idea, you gotta make him think it says.
17:38Right.
17:41And thank you for saving me back there.
17:44Whatever happened to serving yourself?
17:47I'm really bad at it.
17:50I can't wait to see your face when you find it.
17:52Colonel, I was actually gonna suggest one of your plans.
17:55Yep.
17:55Remember when we lived in Florida?
17:56Mm-hmm.
17:57We had that cat named Joey.
17:58Yeah.
17:58The soup didn't allow pets.
17:59Right.
18:00So whenever he came into the apartment...
18:01Oh, I would hide him in the cabinet behind the cereal boxes.
18:05Oh, my God.
18:07I just forgot I was a genius.
18:11Play the audio and visual components you pair with the painting.
18:18You can see it now, yeah?
18:19No!
18:25Clear.
18:26There's no tank on the base.
18:29It's in the fromagerie.
18:32There's no vat, right?
18:33Just a big, empty space to park it.
18:36Oh, ho, ho, ho.
18:38I got you.
18:39I got you!
18:45Would you like a tour, General?
18:47No!
18:48I know you stole one of my tanks.
18:50Sir, I've gone through the database.
18:52All of the tanks are accounted for.
18:54My grandfather, at a certain point, just started walking around the house looking for the hat that he already had
18:58on his head.
18:59We all get put out the pasture eventually, but this pasture has tulips.
19:05And these tulips are saying,
19:08Goodbye.
19:09Get me the hell out of here.
19:11Mm-hmm.
19:11Mm-hmm.
19:12Mm-hmm.
19:13Mm-hmm.
19:14Mm-hmm.
19:14Mm-hmm.
19:17Let's go!
19:18Yes!
19:19How did we get around the database?
19:21Oh, I realized a while back we were gonna need to cover our digital tracks, so I contacted the best
19:25hacker I know.
19:28Woo!
19:29I'm getting really good at hiding in dark and closed spaces.
19:33You hacked the database?
19:34I hacked the entire bomb holder system.
19:37Then, I erased this tank from existence.
19:41Gotta say, this is pretty good work in a tight spot.
19:43Just don't go behind my back again.
19:45There'll be hell to pay.
19:46But you have earned my admiration.
19:52I appreciate your respect.
19:55I-I didn't say respect, I said admiration.
19:58You just said respect.
19:58Well, admiration and respect are two different things.
20:01Are they two different things?
20:01Yeah, they're like two different levels.
20:03It's like admiration and then respect.
20:05But then this whole thing is a thesaurus, and they're in the same age.
20:08No, no, no.
20:09They're synonyms.
20:12When I'm just a mirror.
20:12Go, go, go, go, go, go.
20:13I'm just a mirror.
20:13Don't feel shut your eyes.
20:13Yeah, but I'm just a mirror.
20:16Is, uh, Katja around?
20:18She is busy at the moment.
20:20But I'd be more than happy to help.
20:22I'm not actually allowed to step foot into a Bravo.
20:24This is a charity office offering social and immigration services to sex workers.
20:31Colonel Quinn?
20:33Hey.
20:35Call me Patrick.
20:36I hope I didn't insult her by assuming she was a prostitute.
20:40She is.
20:41The insult is assuming that would be insulting.
20:44Let me just start over.
20:45I was looking for some excitement out there,
20:47and I actually got it instead from just talking to you.
20:51So I was wondering if you wanted to, you know, get a cup of coffee or...
20:56You're a strange one, Patrick.
20:58A man of war asking me out on a date like a nervous schoolboy.
21:03I like you.
21:04I basically hate everybody.
21:07Hold on.
21:07I'll get my coat.
21:09Great.
21:15Keep up the good fight, girls.
21:18What do you think we're fighting?
21:21Oh, yeah.
21:22It's going so well!
21:28You, you are listening to thekre?
21:28You're listening to theepad.
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