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Watch Going Dutch Season 1 Episode 3 (2025) full episode online in HD quality. Stream the latest episode of Going Dutch on Dailymotion now.
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00:01Let's go!
00:02She has no recollection of the last eight years.
00:06I came here to help you.
00:07Kitchen Nightmares.
00:08Are you in?
00:09And going Dutch.
00:12First guns I've seen on the base.
00:14All available now.
00:21First they bury me in Dutch hell,
00:23and now I have to deal with some CIA bastard.
00:26What the hell are you doing on my base?
00:29Probably run some kind of foreign ops that you're going to screw up
00:31just like Afghanistan in 79,
00:34Afghanistan in 89,
00:35Afghanistan in 99,
00:37and Afghanistan in 21.
00:40Sir, what's wrong?
00:41I can hear you grumbling to yourself in the hallway.
00:43CIA agent on base in full uniform.
00:45Hawaiian shirt and a BS attitude?
00:47Mm-hmm.
00:49CIA bastards.
00:50Always screwing up.
00:52Iran in 53,
00:53Iran in 84,
00:55Iran in 2000.
00:56Is he wearing flip-flops?
00:58He's showing feet on a U.S. Army base?
01:00Save it for your OnlyFans, you pervert!
01:02Yeah, this douche went over my head
01:03and got a room on StroopStorp
01:04like we're his personal Holiday Inn Express.
01:06Let me tell you something.
01:07He thinks he's going to pull some kind of covert action here?
01:10Uh-uh.
01:10Uh-uh.
01:10Well, we know their playbook.
01:11They only got two moves.
01:12That's right.
01:13Druggin' and buggin'.
01:14Mm-hmm.
01:15I'll tell you one thing.
01:16He is not gonna pull any depra-
01:18Wait, did my daughter just-
01:21Jump into his arms like she's headed to the fantasy suite on The Bachelor?
01:24She did, and I don't like it one bit.
01:28You know, I've been stabbed three times, and this cuts the deepest.
01:52I'm so happy that you're here.
01:54We're gonna spend every second of minutes 48 hours together.
01:57How'd you even manage to get this much leave last minute?
01:59I told my commander I had lady stuff.
02:02Nothing stops a man in his tracks like that phrase.
02:04Hey, do you have lady stuff?
02:06Oh, no!
02:06My period is a week away,
02:08and my pH balance is stronger than a country club pool.
02:10Oh, jeez.
02:12But we have to get out of here, because this-
02:14I am Colonel Patrick Quinn, commander of USAG StroopStorf,
02:18and I demand to know why you are here, mister.
02:21Brother, I'd tell you, but then I'd have to-
02:22Finish that sentence, and he might kill you.
02:24Colonel Quinn, I'm gonna meet Maggie's old man.
02:26Thanks for hosting me on your base.
02:28I am not hosting you.
02:29You are not some Swedish au pair I'm bringing in to take care of the baby.
02:32Why are you on my base?
02:34He's here to visit me.
02:37He's my special man friend.
02:40So it's casual, or we headed in a certain direction?
02:43Just for clarity.
02:44How long has this been going on?
02:45Three years.
02:46Three years?
02:46I raised you better than that.
02:48You didn't raise me at all.
02:50You're right. I didn't.
02:51But some stepfather should have stepped in, thus the title, and told you not to date manipulative liars.
02:58But no.
02:58Whoa.
02:58Your mother never got remarried.
03:00Oh, you're blaming mom.
03:01I am. It's your mother's fault.
03:02What is wrong with you?
03:04You know what? I think we've uncovered enough family trauma for today.
03:07Colonel, honestly, man to man, I really care about your daughter.
03:10And I will say I appreciate this display of protectiveness, gorilla thing.
03:16That's right. I am a gorilla, pal.
03:18Don't forget it.
03:20Sir, we have an emergency that requires your immediate attention.
03:23Of course we do, because I have a real job.
03:25One that requires closed-toe shoes, pal.
03:29The NATO conference in Belgium is in 48 hours.
03:34The leaders of 32 countries are putting their very lives in our hands.
03:40And more importantly, their laundry.
03:43You gotta be kidding me.
03:45The stakes have never been higher.
03:48That's right, people.
03:49We are doing the laundry for the entire NATO conference.
03:53This is our Super Bowl!
04:00Now, to fire you up even further, here is Colonel Quinn.
04:06Do not screw up this laundry assignment, or do.
04:10I-I don't care. Dismissed.
04:13Uh, this was not an emergency.
04:15The only clear and present danger here is B.A. trying to fold that fitted sheet.
04:19This operation is important, sir.
04:22So important that I'm taking the laundry to the conference personally.
04:25Which is why I need you to sign off on these temporary clearances for me and private B.A.
04:29Okay. Let me get this straight.
04:31So, you want a security clearance on the day that a CIA agent arrived on the base.
04:36That's what you're telling me, huh?
04:38With all due respect, if I was a CIA asset, they would not throw me in Stroop's door.
04:42You don't have your Manolo's in the closet.
04:45Yeah. That tracks.
04:47Sign here.
04:47With the spy on the base, I just feel like I gotta-
04:49Spy? That's crazy. Initial day.
04:50Keep my head on a swivel, you know.
04:52I hate that for you. Initial day.
04:54Yeah, okay.
04:55Wow. I have to say, I am surprised.
04:59I know, right? It's crazy that I can fit a camera and a microphone in there.
05:04Can I keep it for the day? Just to mess with people. Please.
05:08No. It's gotta be flawless.
05:10My next assignment is posing as a jeweler in Russia.
05:13If everything goes right, this baby's gonna be on Putin's niece's finger in a week.
05:17How about we do a little role play? I'll be Putin's niece.
05:21She's a horrible person complicit in a lot of this.
05:24Yeah. I'm just gonna... Okay.
05:29Hmm.
05:31But honestly, the only person that I want right now is you.
05:35Mm.
05:37Oh.
05:38Message through the wall for Captain Maggie.
05:39Your dad's looking for you?
05:41Oh, my God.
05:42Are the walls this thin?
05:44I don't normally sleep in the barracks.
05:46Oh, don't worry. I had my headphones in almost the whole time.
05:49Almost.
05:56Oh, my God.
05:58Mm-hmm.
05:58It's like Italian marble.
06:01Yeah, it's like marble.
06:06When are you gonna lose some weight?
06:08Soon as you don't need my technological genius.
06:11How about a diet?
06:12Sir, I'm a plus-sized soldier.
06:14There's no such thing.
06:15Well, last nude I sent.
06:16Got a thumbs-up emoji.
06:18From who?
06:19Never mind. I don't want to know.
06:20Check the phone. They always bug the phone.
06:22You don't seriously still use a landline?
06:23Yes.
06:24What's next? You gonna tell me you're leaving voicemails?
06:26What's wrong with voicemails?
06:27You may as well, what, whisper in a bottle and throw it in the ocean?
06:30I'm taking this.
06:31What do you mean you're taking it? I need that.
06:32You don't need this, and I'm doing it for you, man.
06:35You gotta get in the same century as me, brother.
06:37Get a haircut.
06:37Get a smartphone.
06:39I swear.
06:40Was he sweeping for bugs?
06:41You think that Rick is bugging you?
06:44Your paranoia is out of control.
06:46Watch your tone, young lady, all right?
06:49I know what I'm dealing with.
06:50I know CIA agents, and I know their playbooks, okay?
06:52And I don't want you seeing Rick anymore.
06:56I don't want you seeing Rick anymore.
06:59Your window for being an overprotective dad closed, like, 15 years ago.
07:04I am an adult woman, and I'm gonna date who I want. Is that it?
07:07Okay, you're right.
07:07I don't have a leg to stand on as your father, but as your commanding officer,
07:10I am revoking your 48-hour leave immediately.
07:14What?
07:14Yes, we have an emergency laundry situation that I need all hands on deck for, including yours.
07:21You're grounding me.
07:23I'm commanding you. I'm your boss.
07:25I'm telling you I want you in the laundry complex for the next two days.
07:29But this is so unfair. I never get to see Rick.
07:32So you're used to it.
07:34You are ruining my life!
07:39I like that door open.
07:42No, you don't.
07:43You just don't want me to slam it.
07:45I don't care if you slam it. Just leave it open after you do.
07:49Oh, my God.
07:51Adult woman, huh?
07:53Real grown-ups.
07:56Ah!
07:57Papadakis!
08:00I cannot believe that my dad has grounded me from seeing Rick.
08:05I'm not 16, okay? I know what I'm doing.
08:07Do I think I'm gonna marry Rick Silver? No.
08:10Well, you tend to go for unavailable guys. Mile-high Matt, the pilot.
08:17Reminds me a lot of Rick.
08:18Okay, maybe I have a type, you know, career-oriented, high-achieving, not too clingy, hyper-masculine.
08:25And it does not get more masculine than Rick Silver.
08:29Wow, horny shiver good.
08:32Horny shiver good.
08:34The sex is sensational.
08:36And you know that I can't date anybody above or below my rank, and I am the only captain on
08:41the entire base.
08:42So when he is here, I have to save up those sexual memories.
08:45I'm like a squirrel storing up nuts for winter.
08:49Sergeant Conway, she's gonna try the tux now.
08:52All right, B.A., avoid the comfort bun. It's the fitted sheet of belts.
08:56Copy.
08:58Since when do you need a tux to deliver laundry to the NATO conference?
09:01Oh, you don't.
09:02But you do need one to sneak into the NATO ball after.
09:06And I can get four years of schmoozing done in four hours.
09:09How are you gonna sneak in?
09:11I'm gonna come in in a stunning gown with B.A. on my arm.
09:14He is the perfect plus one.
09:16Handsome in an unremarkable way, like a print model for athleisure wear.
09:20Huh.
09:20Conway, these pants are really tight in certain areas.
09:28What in the Jon Hamm is going on here?
09:31So these pants don't fit me.
09:33We talked about this.
09:34You are supposed to be unremarkable. Unmemorable.
09:37You have to find a 24-hour tailor immediately.
09:39Oh.
09:40Ay-yi-yi.
09:41I'm a human being.
09:42Oh, oh, um, wait, before you go, could you please help me?
09:45You want me to help you figure out how to get late?
09:47You could get anything to anyone, anywhere, and I need a package delivered.
09:50Into my pants.
09:51Damn.
09:51Maggie.
09:52Okay.
09:53I will send everybody home early.
09:55The colonel said you can't leave.
09:56He didn't say anything about somebody coming here.
10:00Maybe multiple times.
10:01Mm-hmm.
10:05Hey, man.
10:05I really appreciate you doing this counter-op with me.
10:08Maggie is too special to end up with that jackass.
10:11Right?
10:11I mean, can you imagine if they had kids?
10:13There's a 50% chance their child would genetically yearn to destabilization states.
10:18I mean, that's just math.
10:19Science.
10:19He's really cast a spell on her.
10:21Right?
10:22But I'm using it against him.
10:23What are you talking about?
10:24Well, I grounded Maggie and she asked him to come to her.
10:27Which leaves a little den of perversion unoccupied for us to investigate.
10:30You use your own daughter as bait?
10:32Yes, so we can get the evidence we need to break them up.
10:34We're dealing with the CIA.
10:36We've got to get our hands dirty because they're covered in manure.
10:50Great idea, babe.
10:53I haven't gotten a U-up text in a while.
10:56You know, I've never sent one before.
10:57Not successfully.
10:58I sent one to my dentist once, but fortunately she wasn't up.
11:02Everyone's going to be at the dining facility for a four-course meal.
11:04We have an hour to ourselves.
11:08There's no drugs, no bugs.
11:10Just all these Hawaiian shirts.
11:11He's got one for like every day of the week.
11:13That's disgusting.
11:14How can he be on a spy mission with no equipment?
11:15You have to hide it better.
11:17I know.
11:18I know.
11:18I usually use tape.
11:19He tried to make me to your leg.
11:22Oh, my God.
11:23Maybe Rick's got partners and they're doing the bugging.
11:26Yeah, no, get in there.
11:27I'm sorry.
11:28It is not possible.
11:29I just don't know what you want me to do with that.
11:31Oh, God.
11:32Every woman who's ever seen it has said exactly the same thing.
11:34Well, figure something out.
11:36Hey, Conway.
11:37I can hear you.
11:39I knew you were a spy.
11:40I'm not a spy, sir.
11:42I'm just taking laundry to the NATO conference
11:45and sneaking into the NATO ball afterwards,
11:47but that is purely for my own interest.
11:49You know what?
11:51Neither one of you is going anywhere, okay?
11:52Your security clearances are revoked.
11:54But, sir, I'm...
11:55No!
11:56That's it.
11:56In order.
11:57God, he's awful.
11:58All right, there's gotta be something in here to prove to Maggie
12:00that that CIA dirtbag isn't worth her time.
12:02You'd think the flip-flops would've done it, right?
12:04No.
12:05Oh.
12:06My.
12:07God.
12:07What?
12:08It's Tyler Reserve.
12:1030-year-old.
12:11Triple distilled.
12:11This is the stuff to keep in the special barrel.
12:13No, this is like $15,000.
12:15I know!
12:15That's why we're gonna drink it.
12:16It is unopened.
12:18He will notice.
12:18It's supposed to be, like, the best.
12:26Oh.
12:27My.
12:28God.
12:28You found an open bottle?
12:29No.
12:30Much worse.
12:33Rick is telling the truth.
12:35Wow.
12:36He's here for Maggie.
12:38This definitely deserves a drink.
12:40Ow!
12:41Ooh!
12:42It looks like we set the mission back a few hours.
12:46Hey, babe.
12:48I've been thinking.
12:49There's something I want to try with you.
12:51Oh.
12:52I've already told you.
12:53I'm so in.
12:54I mean, you know, Peggy is actually a nickname for Margaret.
12:57Oh!
12:57No.
12:57No, no, no.
12:58I mean, that's super, super odd.
13:00But I've been thinking about it.
13:01You're so smart.
13:03Mm-hmm.
13:04You've got great chemistry.
13:05Mm-hmm.
13:06You've got access.
13:07Mm-hmm.
13:08I want you to help me spy on a NATO conference.
13:15Wait.
13:17Is that why you're here?
13:19It is!
13:20You know those bugs that fit in the ring?
13:22We'll insert those into these pillowcases, and then your team will deliver them to the conference.
13:26The best part is, when the CIA's involvement is exposed, and it always is, we'll blame the whole thing on
13:31your dad.
13:34So, my dad has been right this entire time.
13:37No, I did also really want to see you.
13:39I mean, warrantless wire capping?
13:42Natural aphrodisiac.
13:45Yeah.
13:46Baby, you're being weird.
13:49I know what the problem is.
13:51You're still horny, couldn't you?
13:53Oh, no.
13:53No, I'm not.
13:55Yeah.
13:55Oh.
13:56Well, I am.
13:58So, I'mma take care of business in one of these.
14:02Yes?
14:10Hey!
14:11Colonel, I was hoping you had a moment.
14:12Yeah, come on in.
14:13I wanted to talk to you.
14:14Um, last night I realized that...
14:18Alright, listen.
14:18I'm gonna go first.
14:19Because I'm more important than you, and...
14:21Yeah, I think you're gonna wanna let me go first, because you really are gonna love what I have to
14:25say, so...
14:27Let me just say this.
14:31I was wrong.
14:33Are you having a stroke?
14:35No.
14:36How's your arm?
14:36I wish I was having a stroke, but no, I thought that, you know, Rick was here for nefarious reasons.
14:41Turns out that he actually is here for you, so I was wrong, and you were right.
14:46You were wrong, and I was right.
14:49Mm-hmm.
14:49Oh, wow.
14:51Um...
14:52Sorry.
14:52Am I smiling?
14:53I just can't stop smiling.
14:54Yeah, yeah, yeah. So listen, I still hate the guy, okay?
14:56Uh-huh.
14:56And I still don't trust him, but...
14:58I just wish, you know, knowing that he was here for you, I wish I hadn't hated him so much
15:03to his stupid handsome face.
15:05Well, he is here for me and only me.
15:07He's gonna propose to you.
15:10What?
15:11Yeah, I searched his room and, uh, found a ring.
15:14Found a ring.
15:15Yep.
15:16The ring.
15:17Found a big engagement ring.
15:18You found a big engagement ring for me.
15:21Yes, yes.
15:21Mm-hmm.
15:21Okay, I'm caught up.
15:22What are you gonna say when he proposes?
15:26Uh...
15:27A girl never knows until she's proposed to.
15:31Right.
15:31You know, lady stuff.
15:33That's lady stuff?
15:34It's just a big umbrella.
15:36You know, I know he's here to ask my permission, so...
15:39Oh!
15:40I'm gonna go over, talk to him, and if he offers me some of that delicious scotch, I am not
15:44gonna refuse it.
15:45No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that, unfortunately.
15:47He's on a bike tour, a long bike tour.
15:49Oh, just find him when he comes back.
15:51Well, no, I'll find him when he comes back.
15:52Because I miss him so much, I'm just gonna go get my hands on him and squeeze him.
16:03Weird.
16:05Oh, thank you.
16:07I can't believe that it's come to this.
16:09Why do you need this?
16:11I've really painted myself into a corner.
16:13I have maybe 20 minutes before Rick gets back, and before he does, I've got to save the base from
16:17the CIA and figure out a way to break up with him, all before my dad talks to him and
16:20realizes that he was right and I was wrong about actually everything, ever.
16:23That's a lot of plates in the air.
16:25Yeah, it is.
16:26Yeah, okay.
16:27Well, what if you don't get some...
16:28I'll marry Rick.
16:29I'll marry Rick.
16:30I'll have his children.
16:31I'll do anything before I admit to my dad that he was right and I was wrong.
16:35Did you solve your thing?
16:37Oh, yeah.
16:38I got him killed.
16:41Genius.
16:46Hi.
16:47Oh, wow.
16:49I'm getting ready for round three.
16:50No.
16:51Stop.
16:51Have you seen my dad?
16:52Talked to my dad?
16:53Anything with my dad?
16:54Hi.
16:55Hey, what's up?
16:55Well, Rick, Colonel, how's it hanging, big dogs?
16:59Hanging pretty good.
17:00I think you and I have to have a little talk, right?
17:03But what if we started with a drink?
17:07Some of that nice whiskey.
17:09Oh, yeah.
17:10Yeah.
17:10You don't have to twist my arm.
17:11Right.
17:11It's a mid-reserve 30.
17:13Sorry, guys.
17:13That's for Kim Jong-un's bodyguards.
17:15Oh, that...
17:16All right.
17:17Mm-hmm.
17:18The aroma.
17:18Ooh, I like that.
17:20The urgency's gonna kill me.
17:21Look at that.
17:22All right.
17:23Two...
17:24Ooh.
17:25Bokeh.
17:28That is nice.
17:31Mm.
17:32You know, I gotta say, Rick, I hope Maggie is right about you
17:35and that you're not your typical CIA scumbag.
17:38You're the drug in...
17:43I did not drug him.
17:45I know.
17:47I did.
17:48I really wanted the chance to speak to you without my dad listening.
17:51What?
17:52So you tampered with the bottle while I was gone?
17:55The seal wasn't even broken.
17:57Oh, I borrowed drugs from a friend and used a syringe
17:59and went in through the cork.
18:00Oh, I did not know you had that in you.
18:02Well, all this, like, spy stuff is just making me crazy.
18:07And I mean, bugging a NATO conference?
18:10Yeah.
18:10I mean, how would that even work?
18:11Baby, it's super simple.
18:14We'll just sew bugs into the pillowcases, and then I can secretly spy on our most trusted allies.
18:19But what if we get caught?
18:21Oh, baby, baby, baby.
18:24We're definitely gonna get caught.
18:26We're the CIA.
18:27And when we do, we'll blame the whole thing on your dad.
18:30Right.
18:31Yes.
18:31Yes.
18:32Okay.
18:32Let's do it.
18:33Oh, the one problem, though.
18:34I'm not gonna do any of that.
18:36I'm not gonna let my dad take the fall.
18:39Okay.
18:40Fine.
18:40I'll do it myself.
18:41Oh, no, you can't.
18:43No, because I've been bugging you.
18:46Baby.
18:47Sure did, Captain Maggie.
18:49These walls are paper thin.
18:51If anything, they amplify the sound.
18:52It's like you guys are shouting at me.
18:54What?
18:56Drugging and bugging?
18:58I am so turned on right now.
19:01Hey, please don't do stuff, though.
19:03Okay?
19:03Captain Maggie's like a mother to me, and it's actually not the kind of porn I'm into.
19:08All right.
19:09To you and me.
19:11My dad can't know that I drugged him, or else he would know he was right about you,
19:14which would defeat the whole purpose of drugging him in the first place.
19:17So you and I have to drug ourselves to a plausible deniability.
19:24And if I don't?
19:25Well, I'll release the tape.
19:26Your cover will be blown, and they'll stick you behind a desk at Langley.
19:29Or they'll enforce a business casual dress code.
19:34I think I love you.
19:36Are you for real, or?
19:38Honestly, I don't even know anymore.
19:40Yeah.
19:42The things we could have done together.
19:44Cheers.
19:49Honestly, I'm impervious to drugs now, anyways.
19:52Oh.
19:54Shut up.
19:57We're still good, right?
19:59No.
19:59Get off the base and back where you belong.
20:02Destabilize in the Middle East.
20:04I still can't believe that all three of us were drugged.
20:08You just got to assume that Rick was the target and we were collateral damage.
20:11Yeah, probably the Ruskies.
20:13I hear Putin's niece is a real piece of work.
20:16Hey, I decided to end things with Rick, by the way.
20:19Good.
20:19Great.
20:20I mean, he's a great guy.
20:21I was right about that.
20:22Yeah.
20:23But I just can't see myself in his world, you know?
20:25No.
20:26He's always coming and going as he pleases.
20:27Forget about it.
20:28Yeah, I know.
20:28I have a type.
20:30And he's a total narcissist.
20:31I can prove it because I took the online test and I pretended I was him.
20:35I got a hundred.
20:36And that's bad.
20:37Oh, my God.
20:38What?
20:38You are him.
20:40What?
20:41Rick is you.
20:43He's obsessed with his career.
20:46Never around.
20:47Narcissist.
20:48I'm dating my dad.
20:51God, you don't want to do that.
20:52I got three failed marriages under my belt.
20:54It's official, okay?
20:56I'm not marriage material.
20:57Now, you can do way better than me.
21:02Gee.
21:04Sad, right?
21:0530 years of potential down the drain.
21:07Okay.
21:08Don't be weird.
21:09I will find someone eventually.
21:11No, I'm talking about the scotch.
21:13I can't even remember how it tastes.
21:15I go to the ball, you get the scotch.
21:16Oh, yeah, yeah.
21:17No, you're going to the ball.
21:18Oh, thank you so much.
21:19You?
21:20Oh, wow.
21:21Hey.
21:22Have a good time.
21:23Yes, I will.
21:24Oh, my God.
21:27Oh, there it is.
21:34Why is it always the dumb ones?
21:35You're telling me.
21:37It's going so well.
21:38See you all.
21:39Yeah.
21:39That's it.
21:40I don't know.
21:42You
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