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00:30It's the best offer I've had tonight, Julie.
00:33How is it they let you work the most exclusive hotel in town?
00:36I happen to be a very exclusive girl.
00:38Oh, obviously.
00:40Besides, I'm a model and things are going pretty slow right now.
00:44Thank you.
00:45Would you like to get out of that straitjacket?
00:48Good idea.
00:50Ha!
00:51Pete, no!
00:52No, you stay out of it, sweetheart.
00:55Aren't you gonna ask who I am?
00:57All right. Who are you?
01:00I'm her husband.
01:02Congratulations.
01:04Please, darling, don't worry.
01:05I said shut up, baby.
01:07Mister, you are in a lot of trouble.
01:08Unless I care to pay a bundle to keep it quiet.
01:11Right?
01:12Right.
01:16Come in and join the party.
01:19All right.
01:21Now, how was it I was picked for the old badger game?
01:25Well, we... we asked who you are at the desk.
01:28Nathaniel Johnson, Rear Admiral, U.S. Navy, retired.
01:31And that impressed you, eh? Instant patsy.
01:34Look, so...
01:35I've a good mind to call the police.
01:37Oh, please don't.
01:38We've all done time.
01:39Yeah, once is enough.
01:40You three are either very brave or very stupid trying to take Nat Johnson.
01:48You mean to say you don't know who Nat Johnson is?
01:52Number one con man in the country.
01:54The best bunco artist in the business.
01:57Pah, you three kids.
01:59Bungling amateurs.
02:01Let me tell you, Nat Johnson is still king of the hill.
02:04Oh, Mr. Johnson.
02:07We're sorry.
02:08We didn't know.
02:11What do we do now?
02:12Go home and grow up.
02:15Mr. Johnson?
02:16What?
02:19What would you teach us?
02:20Oh, go away.
02:22We learn fast.
02:23And we take no cut until we prove ourselves.
02:25And if we blow it, well, then you can boot us out.
02:28I've always worked alone.
02:29But you're not as young as you used to be.
02:32Well, no offense, sir.
02:34You could use some help, Mr. Johnson.
02:36Admiral Johnson, please.
02:38I hate the word mister.
02:39It's so pedestrian.
02:42A staff for the admiral, eh?
02:45Charming idea.
02:47Then you...
02:48Then you'll give us a chance.
02:51I'll consider it.
02:57How'd it go?
02:58We're in.
03:28Through the sire.
03:32Then we'll go.
03:35Then you're turning wild.
03:37Set up the couch.
03:37Tie up the couch,
03:51He has...
03:56fishy seen.
04:08¡Gracias!
04:29I still think you should have picked someone from Bunko.
04:32Can't do that. He knows them all too well.
04:35We've all had our hooks into him one time or another, but he's gotten away.
04:38What is it with you and him?
04:40He's my personal Moby Dick.
04:43My first case is a detective.
04:46He salted a lead mine in Nevada with uranium and sold phony stock.
04:50He cleaned up and everybody else busted out.
04:54You know, I couldn't get one single victim to testify.
04:56Why not? They had confidence in him.
05:00They begged the judge to restrain me from harassing their friend and benefactor.
05:07Look, before I keel over, tell me what you found out.
05:10You already said it. He's setting it up right now.
05:13Three widows that are ready to be taken.
05:32It's just a little.
05:34Oh, no, it wasn't. That's right down the fairway. I'll buy that one.
05:40Good afternoon, ladies. My name is Johnson.
05:43I was wondering, would you care to make it a forcent?
05:46Um, if you wish to play through, Mr. Johnson, you may proceed.
05:53Oh, Jim!
05:56Do you want your pill?
05:59No, I'll be all right.
06:01Is it your heart?
06:04Ah, the heart.
06:06That fragile mechanism.
06:08But do we speak of the weakness of the body, the spirit?
06:13I... I don't understand.
06:16How could you, dear lady?
06:18My wife died six months ago. Since then, I...
06:22Admiral, don't strain yourself.
06:24The dear boy worries about me.
06:26Well, he should, after what you've been through.
06:31Thank you. Thank you, ladies, for your concern. I won't trouble you anymore.
06:36Admiral, you mentioned making it a foursome.
06:39Oh, yes, please. Won't you join us?
06:42Oh, that's very kind of you, ladies. Very kind.
06:46May I introduce myself formally?
06:48Nathaniel Farringer Johnson, Rear Admiral, United States Navy, retired.
06:54How do you do?
06:55Ooh.
07:20Good shot.
07:21That was wonderful.
07:23You're right.
07:24Thank you, ladies. Thank you.
07:34I started in submarines, worked my way up through battle wagons, and finished in the Naval Air Corps.
07:40Oh. And then what happened out to the airplanes?
07:43I went underground.
07:45Underground?
07:47You've heard of the CIA.
07:50Well, the Naval Establishment has its own intelligence apparatus, the NIA.
07:56Oh.
07:57They beached me last year, but I still consider myself on duty.
08:02Your retirement pay must be most generous to allow you to live here.
08:06Retirement pay? If I had to depend on that.
08:09No.
08:10No.
08:11No, it's the defense contracts.
08:14Defense contracts?
08:16Yes.
08:16You know that the government always invites bids from several large corporations for defense contracts.
08:23Now, supposing one knew in advance which was the successful bidder, what would one do? Hmm?
08:34I don't know. By stock?
08:37Good thinking. Precisely.
08:46I'm sorry to disturb you, Admiral, but these came on the courier plane from the Pentagon this morning.
08:53Excuse me, ladies.
09:01Well, they...
09:02Eh, I guess Washington just won't let an old sailor retire in peace.
09:07I'm afraid not, sir.
09:09I want you to take this to Mr. Howard Stone, defense contract agency, a federal building.
09:15Be sure he gets it personally.
09:18Yes, sir.
09:21Thank you.
09:26Ah, now, ladies, we were saying...
09:29Uh, Admiral, I was just thinking, um, you know about defense contracts.
09:36Now, don't tell me. Let me guess.
09:38You are worried about your investment portfolio.
09:41Yes.
09:42You have attorneys, watchdogs, your late husband's best friends guarding your interests.
09:47But with the cost of living rising, you're ready to take a gamble, hmm?
09:53That's right.
09:54Admiral, please trust us.
09:57Trust no one. Absolutely no one.
10:01That's my philosophy.
10:03However, an unfortunate situation has arisen in which I might perhaps be able to use a little risk capital.
10:14Three large companies are bidding for the new Navy F-115 supersonic fighter plane contract.
10:21A decision will soon be made and will be known to Howard Stone, the local defense contract administrator.
10:28He's a friend of yours?
10:30Supposedly.
10:31But for the first time since I've known him, he's started to put a price tag on inside information.
10:37How big?
10:38Now, ladies, ladies, it's a beautiful day. Why waste it on my little problems?
10:43I thought we decided we were a club.
10:46All of us widowed people must stick together.
10:49All the more reason for not burdening you.
10:51Please, Admiral, how much?
10:55One hundred thousand dollars.
10:57And most of my cash is tied up.
11:01What if you had partners?
11:04Three of them.
11:06That would be 25,000 each.
11:09I couldn't. I couldn't.
11:12Admiral, we are not exactly poverty-stricken.
11:17And we would tell no one.
11:19Oh, I should hope not.
11:21Then everyone would start buying stock and none of us would clean up.
11:25Then it's a deal?
11:27You're too eager.
11:29You should demand proof.
11:32That's how people get swindled, my dears.
11:42Boy, he's something else.
11:45Looks like the fish you're taking to bed.
11:46Hook, line and sinker.
11:48And we helped him do it.
11:50Hey, she's right.
12:00Yes, Mr. Stone.
12:02I'm calling for Admiral Johnson.
12:04A group of friends are throwing a cocktail party for Admiral Butler.
12:08Yes, from the Los Alamitos Naval Station.
12:10This Sunday afternoon at the Beverly Country Club Hotel.
12:14In the garden room.
12:16About three-ish.
12:17You can?
12:19Well, how lovely.
12:21We'll see you then.
12:23Goodbye.
12:26Don't believe it.
12:28How did you know he would accept?
12:29Howard Stone doesn't know you.
12:30He never even heard of you.
12:32Lesson number one.
12:34Everybody is a freeloader at heart.
12:36Hello.
12:37I'm calling for Mrs. Eleanor Meredith.
12:39Can I speak with Admiral Butler, please?
12:41Thank you.
12:44Ah, yes.
12:45Could you hold on one minute, sir?
12:46The Admiral's on the phone.
12:50Hello, Admiral Butler.
12:52This is Mrs. Eleanor Meredith's social secretary.
12:55She and friends are throwing a party for Mr. Howard Stone.
12:59Yes, of the defense contract administration.
13:02Right.
13:02And Mrs. Meredith was wondering if you could make it on Sunday afternoon.
13:07About three-ish.
13:09That's at the Beverly Country Club Hotel.
13:10In the garden room.
13:12Oh, yes, you can.
13:14Oh, that's lovely.
13:16We'll see you then.
13:18Goodbye.
13:21Now, what happens if the Admiral decides to check up on us?
13:24Johnson's law.
13:26Flattery kills suspicion.
13:29Why should the Admiral check up on Mrs. Meredith?
13:31After all, she's a bona fide leader of society.
13:35Daughter of the founder of Horizon Petroleum.
13:38The Admiral's probably thrilled to get an invitation from the upper crust.
13:42I have the number for the Marines, the Army and the Air Force.
13:45Do you want me to call them?
13:46No, no, no, no.
13:47Julie will do that.
13:49What red-blooded fighting man could say no to that voice?
14:04How are we doing?
14:06Full house.
14:06With three queens showing, sir.
14:14And there's my ace in the hole, Howard Stone.
14:28You are taking good care of it, Mr. Stone.
14:30Like you ordered.
14:31Every time he asks for a scotch, I told the boss he would make it a triple.
14:41Well, Howie.
14:43Rather stuffy in here.
14:44How about a little fresh air?
14:46That's a good idea.
14:47Capital.
14:51Howie.
14:53Howie.
14:54You and I have to have a summit meeting.
14:56Howie.
14:58Howie.
14:59Howie.
15:00Howie.
15:01Howie.
15:05Howie.
15:06Howie.
15:12Howie.
15:13Howie.
15:15Howie.
15:17Howie.
15:18Howie.
15:21Howie.
15:32Howie.
15:33Howie.
15:34Howie.
15:36Howie.
15:36Howie.
15:36Howie.
15:37Howie.
15:38They used to call him Thirty-Knot Cochran when he was a PT boat commander in the Pacific under Bull
15:43Halsey.
15:43Oh, of course. Good old Spence.
15:47Yeah, well, now, his boy, Pete, nice lad, just out of law school,
15:50wants some advice about a government career.
15:53And I wondered whether perhaps you might...
15:55Well, sure, sure. Send him around any time.
15:58All right, I'll tell him to drop in.
16:02Okay, howe, my boy. Then we see eye to eye.
16:06You better add, well, I'll do my best.
16:08That's all.
16:13Well, ladies, we're on our way. Full steam ahead.
16:18He seemed very friendly.
16:20More than that, he's ripe and ready.
16:23Do you need our checks now?
16:24No, no, wait until you see the final evidence in writing.
16:32A toast to our celebration and our three rich ladies.
16:36What was it W.C. Fields used to say?
16:39Never give a sucker an even bridge.
16:42Ha, ha! Very good.
16:45And another toast to the Admiral. Long may he wait.
16:48Thank you, Julie.
16:51Put these on my tap, please.
16:55Yeah?
16:56I don't smoke, Admiral.
16:58Keep it. You never know when you want to give it away.
17:00Funny how a quarter cigar often makes a hundred-dollar impression.
17:04Thank you.
17:06No, no.
17:07I'm sorry, Admiral. This is on me.
17:09Link.
17:10Only the very rich and the very poor pay their own checks.
17:14Just watch.
17:15i give a gabrielfrash.
17:25Oh, my God.
17:30Bye.
17:30Bye.
17:32Yeah, bye.
17:40Bye.
17:40Bye.
17:41Bye.
17:42Bye.
17:52¡Vamos!
17:53¡Ah!
17:54¡Look at this!
17:55¡They're trying to kill me!
17:56¡What is it, sir?
17:58¡I thought this was a first-class establishment!
18:01¡Glass!
18:02¡I might have bled to death!
18:03¡Oh, I'm sorry, sir!
18:05¡Let's get out of here, dear!
18:06¡This chef's specialty seems to be ground glass!
18:10¡How much is my check?
18:11Please, sir, consider this on a house.
18:16You will come again, Admiral.
18:19Mmm.
18:28Wow, great technique, sir.
18:29Razzle-dazzle showmanship.
18:31You really are something else.
18:32Now we know why you're number one.
18:34Here, take this.
18:36Pretend it's a sword.
18:38Go out and conquer the world.
19:04Out.
19:05I cut my fingers, sweetheart.
19:07Have you got a bandage?
19:08Oh, of course.
19:09Thank you.
19:22a few walls.
19:25Hopefully, all of them have blown them over here and ask me.
19:28Help me.
19:28Just, Derek?
19:28Sorry, I messaged me up.
19:29Okay.
19:29Leave me down.
19:29Put this like.
19:29Did you?
19:30Oh, this is expensive, but it didn't get this?
19:32Alright.
19:34You heard ofración, my dear friend.
19:34Okay, hot!
19:38crop and clean hearts.
19:39Welcome back to the truth.
20:01¡Suscríbete al canal!
20:11Thank you.
20:18It matches the one in Stone's office.
20:20Admiral, with a brain like yours, can you imagine what you do in a legitimate business?
20:23What, and give up all the fun?
20:26Me chained to a desk?
20:28Have you ever seen an eagle in a cage?
20:31The most miserable creature on earth.
20:33But give him his freedom, and he's a sight to behold, wheeling and soaring in the sky.
20:39When are you going to get tired of wheeling and dealing?
20:41Every caper's a challenge.
20:43And more than that, I'm performing a highly useful moral function.
20:47Now, how do you figure that?
20:49Everybody has a bit of a larceny in them.
20:51If it wasn't for me, they'd never have a shot at it.
20:54After I've taken my marks, they become honest again.
20:58They've had a brief fling at crime, and I've made a profit.
21:02And consider this.
21:04I don't hurt people, except in their pride and their pocketbooks.
21:10You're beautiful, Admiral.
21:12So are you, my dear.
21:14And this letter, a work of art.
21:21Dear Nat, the successful bid for...
21:25Eleanor, I haven't got my glasses.
21:27You leave it, please.
21:28Oh, of course.
21:29It's for Mr. Stone!
21:31Hey, honey, not so loud.
21:32This is top secret.
21:34Oh, I'm sorry.
21:36Dear Nat, the successful bid for U.S. Navy Bur Air...
21:41Bur Air?
21:42That's Pentagon shorthand for Bureau of Aeronautics.
21:46Oh, Bur Air contract number 334587-69 will be awarded to the Mercury Aerospace Corporation of California.
21:56Since this information is provided on a need-to-know basis, please destroy after reading.
22:02Sincerely, Howard Stone, contract administrator.
22:06Now will you take our checks?
22:09We made them out to cash, just like you said.
22:12Merely in the interests of secrecy, you understand that?
22:16Aye, aye, Admiral.
22:17Thank you, ladies.
22:19Thank you.
22:21Welcome aboard, shipmates.
22:23Full steam ahead.
22:25Mm!
22:45Where's the Admiral?
22:49Today's the day. It's been 48 hours since he took their checks.
22:51Checkmate.
22:53He should be giving them the news long about now.
22:55How?
22:56How could this have happened?
22:57Ladies, I'm as shocked as you are that Coast Aircraft was awarded the contract instead of Mercury.
23:03Of course, a top-level executive decision in Washington may have caused the switch to another agency, but...
23:10Have you spoken to Mr. Stone?
23:12He refuses to answer my telephone calls.
23:14First time he's ever turned me off like this.
23:17What about our $100,000 we gave him?
23:20Lost to us forever.
23:23Your Mr. Stone is an unscrupulous swindler.
23:28We are going to the federal district attorney and lodge a complaint.
23:32I'd think twice about that, Ellie.
23:35Truth is, we've all bribed a government official.
23:38That makes us guilty of criminal conspiracy.
23:41But our money!
23:43What's the alternative?
23:44The scandal of a headline investigation.
23:48Our reputations down the besmirched.
23:52What are we going to do?
23:56Ladies, it was my faith in Howard Stone that caused this disaster.
24:01I must make good your faith in me.
24:04Now, ladies, I'm a poor man by your standards,
24:06but I'm going to give you each promissory notes for the money you've lost,
24:10and when my fortunes improve, I shall honor them.
24:14No, Admiral, that would be most unfair.
24:19You were only trying to help us.
24:22You were victimized as much as we were.
24:25Thank you.
24:26Thank you.
24:28I think we're all going to be better friends
24:32as a result of having shared this difficult experience.
24:41Scream for law and order,
24:42but ask for cooperation, and what do you get?
24:45Dead silence.
24:46Now, would you believe this?
24:49I called those good citizens.
24:51They refused to talk to me.
24:53They're probably embarrassed.
24:55They're embarrassed?
24:56What about me?
24:57Until I can get one of the victims to press charges,
25:00I can't do a thing.
25:01My hands are tied.
25:02All right, Captain, don't blow your cool.
25:03They referred me to their lawyers,
25:06who suggested I get a writ from the judge,
25:08but they warned that a defamation of character suit might result.
25:11Same old routine.
25:13What do you want us to do next?
25:14Uh, stick with the Admiral, I guess.
25:18Maybe we can get a victim to testify on his next scam.
25:23Okay, kids, thanks.
25:25I got a luncheon date.
25:26Captain, how would you like to have lunch on the house?
25:30Lunch on what house?
25:32Any restaurant you choose.
25:33All you have to do is have a small piece of broken glass
25:36and a little vial of red dye.
25:38And then you ought for chateau brio.
25:40Broccoli with hollandaise sauce.
25:41A baked potato with sour cream and chives.
25:43Then you put the glass on the plate,
25:45pretend you cut your lip and put some red dye on it,
25:47and voila!
25:48Very nice.
25:50Well, when the Admiral gets through with you guys,
25:51you'll be thoroughly corrupt.
25:53Then you can uncorrupt us.
25:55Again.
25:59And the next time we meet, do me a favor, will you?
26:02Pick another place.
26:05All right, so I'm a con man.
26:07All human relationships are built on confidence.
26:11The public has confidence in the politician's promises,
26:14so they elect him to office.
26:16The customer has confidence in the salesman's pitch,
26:20so he purchases the product.
26:22So what is that argument, Admiral?
26:28Admiral, you just picked up $75,000 tax-free,
26:31and you still have to wash your socks?
26:33Have you seen the prices this hotel charges?
26:35There ought to be a law against it.
26:38I suppose it's a hangover from my days as a penniless grifter.
26:43Well, I'm going to have to take these home and darn them.
26:45Thank you, Julie.
26:47Admiral, what do you need is a wife.
26:49Had six already, thank you.
26:51Six?
26:51But always for business.
26:53Had to prevent the dears from testifying against me.
26:57But I thought your marks never blew the whistle.
26:59Because they thought they were partners to an illegal deal, right, sir?
27:02No, but the police make deals, too, sometimes,
27:05such as offering immunity to people to testify against me.
27:09Yes, if it weren't for these gentlemen in blue,
27:12I could really enjoy life.
27:14Some of them have been trying to scuttle me for years.
27:18One distinguished guardian of the law, Captain Adam Greer,
27:23has launched a crusade against me.
27:25Ha!
27:26Poor fellow doesn't realize he hasn't a chance.
27:29Have any of you ever run up against him?
27:32Well, I did once in a dark alley.
27:34Did he catch you?
27:34I'm afraid so.
27:36I was carrying an automobile battery at the time.
27:38Well, why didn't you drop it and run?
27:40Well, I needed it for the car I'd just stolen.
27:42Ha!
27:44So you know the kind of bulldog that's after me.
27:48Last time I ran into Greer,
27:49I offered to sell him some stock,
27:51but he turned me down cold.
27:53No hope for that man.
27:55No vision.
27:56That's why he'll remain a cop and nothing more.
27:59I'll drink to that.
28:03So you three are having a ball putting the rap on me, huh?
28:05Oh, he couldn't deny knowing you.
28:07He might have suspected something.
28:08You are very well known in criminal circles.
28:11A cop with no vision.
28:14That's what he said.
28:15I bet you three get a charge
28:17out of listening to the Admiral Harpoon me.
28:19He happens to be a very groovy person.
28:21That does it.
28:23Okay, kids, I better take you off the case.
28:25He's won and I've lost.
28:27What do you mean?
28:28Well, you're not taking him seriously.
28:30You think he's some combination of
28:31Robin Hood, Santa Claus, and Daddy Warbucks.
28:34Well, we don't think he's the Boston Strangler.
28:36You're aiding and abetting a criminal.
28:38I'm not.
28:39I just wash his socks.
28:45Okay, where is your friend now?
28:47Mexico, in Baja California.
28:49He's setting it up.
28:50He says it's gonna be the biggest thing
28:51he's ever pulled off.
28:54We wanna stay with him.
28:55This is the only case we've ever really enjoyed.
28:58Mexico?
29:02Okay, get going.
29:04Si, si, senor.
29:19Spreading international goodwill?
29:21Why not?
29:22Keep your mind on your cerveza.
29:23Jealousy night and day you torture him.
29:26Really, my mind is on the end.
29:28It's late.
29:30I hope nothing's happened to him.
29:31Listen, the way he's been touting this caper,
29:33you couldn't keep him away with a shotgun.
29:36Now, come back here.
29:37Now, you took your sweet time.
29:38We were dying of thirst.
29:40Come on, now, be a little friendly.
29:41Hey, now, what is a pretty little guy like you
29:45doing working in a dump like this?
29:47The original ugly Americans.
29:49Come on, come on, now.
29:50It makes it easier than the rest of us.
29:52That's right.
29:52Hey, tell you what.
29:53Tell you what.
29:55This has got to be worth more than a day's pay, right?
29:58Huh?
29:59Now, what if the three of us go out
30:00and find ourselves some fun, huh?
30:02Come on, come on, now.
30:23Well, well, what we have here is home, folks.
30:29Yes, sir, and we've got to stick together, don't we?
30:34You don't mind if we join you, do you?
30:36Yes.
30:37It's a private party.
30:38You know, I've always said
30:41they're going the prettiest back home.
30:43Ain't that right, sugar?
30:44Another time, huh?
31:14No one, my dear.
31:15Yes, sir, it was an accident, pure and simple.
31:19You must be very careful of these flaws, my friend.
31:21Slippery, dangerous.
31:23And who are you, senor?
31:25Admiral Nathaniel Johnson, sir.
31:27And these are my very dear, my close friends.
31:31I can certainly vouch for them, Captain.
31:34Impeccable characters.
31:36Come along, angels.
31:38And I'll try and persuade my young friends
31:41not to sue the proprietor.
31:43Good day, Captain.
31:52We'll find the right time.
31:56Believe me.
32:05Well, staff, after years of posing as a naval officer,
32:10I finally have a ship of my own.
32:12Oh, by the way, this is an old associate of mine,
32:16Jake Barry.
32:17He's going to shill for us.
32:19Jake, meet Julie.
32:21Link.
32:21Pete.
32:22Link.
32:22How do you do?
32:23How are you?
32:23Pete.
32:24Did you buy this boat?
32:26My dear girl, you must be stark raving man.
32:29I have it on a free trial basis for 30 days.
32:33Time enough for the venture that brings us to this charming Mexican seashore.
32:38Which is?
32:39The brainstorm of the century.
32:41My masterpiece.
32:43I am going to salt the sea.
32:49You're going to do what?
32:50The ocean bed is a treasure trove of hidden minerals.
32:54Manganese, copper, cobalt, aluminum, nickel, silver, perhaps even gold.
33:01All right, but wouldn't it cost a fortune to locate these minerals and then dredge them up?
33:07That's why we give Mother Nature a little hand, right?
33:11Right.
33:12You two bold adventurers will dive to the bottom and plant this genuine sample of cobalt and copper,
33:19which a friend of mine has been aging in salt water for many months.
33:23What's the cage for?
33:25To anchor the sample to the bottom of the ocean where the boys will deposit it
33:30and later miraculously discover it to the amazement of a group of well-selected investors.
33:40Admiral, you are indeed too much, sir.
33:42My dear friends, we are going to reel in a small fortune from these golden waters.
33:50Eh?
34:12Don't you kids know any cool places?
34:15You throw the hooks where the fish are.
34:17Do you mind?
34:24Tell me, what brings the great man and me to Mexico?
34:27The Paloma Underwater Development Company.
34:30It's a Mexican company with no known assets other than its name.
34:34But as of now, it has a staff of three brilliant young oceanographers.
34:38With great prospects.
34:41For harvesting seaweed.
34:46Hey.
34:48Very professional.
34:49Did he do this?
34:50I did the sketches, Link did the copy, and Pete did the photos.
34:53Great.
34:54You guys get any better at this sort of thing, you'll be able to start your own bunco rack.
34:57A man has to have a plan for the future, Captain.
35:02All right, tell me, geniuses.
35:03Where does he expect to get suckers to buy acreage on the bottom of the ocean?
35:08He's in L.A. right now with specialist and real estate sucker lists.
35:12And he really expects people to go for this thing?
35:14He hasn't missed yet.
35:16Link, do you think we'll ever be that good?
35:20With practice, Peter.
35:21With practice.
35:23Oh, forgive them, Captain.
35:24And they know not what they do.
35:47Hello, Admiral.
35:48Gentlemen, can I help you?
35:51Yeah, you can help us.
35:53Where are your little friends?
35:54Oh, that little spat at the cantina.
35:58A misunderstanding, nothing more.
36:00Well, you weren't sitting on the floor.
36:03Not then.
36:04Now then, let's not lose our heads.
36:07Oh, not our heads, friend.
36:09Yours.
36:10Yours.
36:16Yours.
36:24Yours.
36:44Yours.
37:14¡Gracias!
37:22¡Gracias!
37:23¡Gracias!
37:24Are you okay, sir?
37:25I'm fine.
37:26Now that you're both with me, I'm fine.
37:29Just fine.
37:31Hey!
37:50Ladies and gentlemen, man has never been a stranger to the sea.
37:56He has lived by it, fished it, sailed in it.
38:00But until modern science came along,
38:03he has never discovered the true wealth that lies beneath it.
38:08Today, more than ever, science is helping man exploit those hidden treasures
38:15untapped at the bottom of the ocean on the continental shelf.
38:18It offers enormous dividends.
38:22That is why my company has purchased certain mineral rights from the Mexican government.
38:28My assistants are now bringing in a sample of those dividends.
38:33If you'll bear with me, I will endeavour to show you how important this find is.
38:49Observe the standard test for mineral content.
38:53Miss Barnes has placed the ore sample, which her colleagues brought up from the bottom of the ocean,
38:58into a solution of hydrochloric acid.
39:01As you see, the acid has turned blue, indicating the presence of copper,
39:07which sells in the open market at approximately 20 cents a pound.
39:12Admiral, the brochure spoke of cobalt being present with the copper.
39:16May I test for it?
39:17Ha! Dr. Steel, but of course, as a physician, you'd want to make your own diagnosis.
39:22By all means.
39:23Thank you.
39:23The sulfuric acid test, no doubt.
39:26There it is.
39:34Now, ladies and gentlemen.
39:39You see, the immersion of the sample in the other acid has caused a red-pink colouration.
39:48What does that indicate to you, Dr. Steelman?
39:53Cobalt.
39:54Which, as you all know, sells on the open market at two dollars a pound.
40:01Now, Dr. Steelman, may I assume that you're ready to join our little venture?
40:06I don't know.
40:06I realise that the total ocean bed reserves of valuable minerals such as these exceed by many hundreds of times
40:13the known land reserve.
40:14But still, I'm concerned about the cost factor.
40:18Well, I'm not.
40:19I have the utmost confidence in Admiral Johnson.
40:22Now, I'm an ex-Marine and, well, I've found that you can rely on Navy men like the Admiral to,
40:26to come through in a pinch and deliver the goods.
40:29Thank you, sir.
40:30Well, quite all right.
40:31I'd like to, to buy in for 20,000, sir, if I may, huh?
40:34Step right this way.
40:35Thank you.
40:38Uh, here.
40:39200,000, I think.
40:4020,000, sir.
40:42Oh, I beg your pardon.
40:50All right, sir.
40:51Congratulations, sir.
40:53You are a wise man.
40:54Thank you, sir.
40:56Ah, thank you, folks.
40:57Thank you.
40:58Now, under Mexican law, because you are foreign investors, the capitalization is limited.
41:04So please act today, for by tomorrow, I expect the entire issue to be sold out.
41:11Your name, madam?
41:16What's wrong, Dr. Steelman?
41:17Are you, uh, allergic to instant wealth?
41:20Miss Barnes, I don't doubt the potential of this venture, but since it is a foreign company, perhaps I should
41:26consult my attorney first.
41:28Well, Dr. Steelman, why not invest with the understanding that if you should like to pull out at any time,
41:33you can have your money refunded in full.
41:37Admiral Johnson would be more than happy to give you a guarantee in writing, sir, if you wish.
41:43That sounds reasonable enough.
41:46I'll put in 5,000 just to be in the swimmer, thanks.
41:49Very good, sir.
41:52You're pretty good.
41:54Good.
41:55I never realized I had a selling ability before.
41:57You know, I got a lot of old furniture in my pad.
42:00Now, why don't we open an antique store and make a fortune?
42:03That boat was in Mexican waters when the suckers actually handed the admiral their checks.
42:09That's right.
42:10Well, that means you can't touch them.
42:11Maybe.
42:12But even though the fraud was perpetrated in Mexican waters, that vessel belonged to an American company.
42:16So what?
42:18So, therefore, it might be considered that the fraud took place on American soil.
42:24Are you sure?
42:25No.
42:27I'm going to get the DA's office, though, to consult an expert on admiralty law.
42:31And we might have a case if we can get one cooperative witness.
42:37Come on, let's get out of here.
42:49Captain Adam Greer.
42:51With your staff.
42:53Those kids probably work for him.
42:55They're cops.
42:56All this unsolved crime on the streets and he has to waste the taxpayers' money persecuting me.
43:03What has happened to law and order?
43:05What about those kids?
43:09They thought they liked me.
43:11It's like a family.
43:13Very nice.
43:16Very comforting.
43:17Nice.
43:20Suddenly, I feel old and tired.
43:23I need a rest.
43:25I'm not thinking of retiring.
43:27Well, unfortunately, there are no old age pensions in our line of endeavor.
43:31Only prison sentences when the law catches up with you.
43:34Not you, admiral.
43:36You're too smart to be caught by the police.
43:38They are very efficient these days.
43:40Computers, telephoto, communications, other devices.
43:45I'm thinking of moving somewhere where the police methods are more primitive.
43:50The Bahamas, perhaps.
43:52I'll sit in the sun and let you three kids rope up the suckers and steer them toward me.
43:59How about that?
44:00The Mexican operation is going so well.
44:02That's right.
44:03And we still have a boat ride scheduled for the Sunday afternoon.
44:06Yes, but I've had a negative feedback.
44:09Dr. Steelman.
44:11Dr. Steelman?
44:12He's the one that Link talked into signing up.
44:14Yes, his investment counselor says that he thinks the whole deal's a swindle
44:18and advises him to get his money back.
44:20I'm playing it safe and returning it to him.
44:23As a matter of fact, I plan to return it in person.
44:27Better still, why don't you three do it?
44:31Us?
44:32Yes, why not?
44:33It'll be good training for you.
44:34Here, take it, return it.
44:36It'll prove how much I trust you.
44:43Now, I have a little gift for you all.
44:47A little token of my esteem.
44:52Open them, open them.
44:55Go on, go ahead.
45:03Admiral.
45:04No, no, no, no.
45:05Don't say a word.
45:06Not a word.
45:08Now then.
45:09Scoot back to the good old United States and Dr. Steelman.
45:14Come along, children.
45:16Make me proud of you.
45:18Off you go.
45:38All the evidence the captain needs.
45:42And an eyewitness to testify.
45:44What should we do?
45:45Tear it up.
45:47Burn it.
45:48You could give it to me.
45:52What are you gonna do?
45:54Go over to Monrovia, get a written complaint from Dr. Steelman.
45:58Can't you let the Admiral go?
45:59He's a crook.
46:00Not really.
46:02He only swindles people that already have larceny in their hearts.
46:05How many times did he tell us that?
46:07Boy, are you hooked.
46:11Come on, let's get that complaint.
46:26Well, that Johnson can add four more suckers to his list.
46:29What four?
46:30You, Julie, Pete and me.
46:33The biggest sucker of them all.
46:34What gives?
46:35Come on, I'll show you.
46:39There is no Dr. Steelman.
46:40There never was.
46:41He was just a creation of the Admirals, a shield.
46:43Excuse me.
46:45Even the name he made up was a gag.
46:50Look.
46:54Steelman.
46:56You mean he knew about us all the time?
46:58He conned us.
47:00That's his bag.
47:02When I arrived here this afternoon, this gentleman handed me a wire from the Admiral.
47:09Dear Captain Greer.
47:11Congratulations on assigning three such splendid youngsters to trap me.
47:16I hope you enjoy your non-visit with the Steelman.
47:19By the time you get this, I will be airborne.
47:23Don't blame the kids.
47:24They tried.
47:26Anchors away, Admiral Nat Johnson.
47:51You're putting me on.
47:52Golf?
47:53It's a real cool game, Captain.
47:55The Admiral told us to take it up.
47:57Change our image and broaden our whole scope?
47:59Well, his scope is going to be pretty broad when he hears this news.
48:02They found oil under that property he sold in Mexico.
48:06Wow, that's terrific.
48:07You mean that all those suckers...
48:09Will now get at least $100,000 each.
48:14Poor Admiral, he should know about this.
48:16Why don't you write him?
48:17Federal Penitentiary, Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.
48:19He'll be there for five years.
48:22Treasury Department picked him up on an old rap.
48:24He was on his way to the Bahamas.
48:26Oh, man.
48:28I still think he'd like to know that he struck oil.
48:30I am going to write him.
48:31I don't think he'd survive the realization that he was the biggest sucker of them all.
48:35Well, maybe we could visit him and try and help to get him a parole.
48:40How about that?
48:42Oh, why don't you get a petition and have all his victims sign it?
48:45Hey, now that's a good idea.
48:47We can talk him into it.
48:48By using the Admiral Nathaniel Johnson sincere approach.
48:52Hey, watch.
48:53Hey, watch this one.
48:58Good show, old boy.
49:21In the middle of the day,
49:22Or something like singing...
49:36But there was a lot of laughter,
49:36How, how, how, how, how would I worship you,
49:37When do you think of the others?
49:37I would have won some circumstances entries.
49:38It's worth a favor from aibelpetentiary opera.
49:38He says,
49:38How long is there in slavery?
49:39How long does it make a hand for 1000 people you have done?
49:41He says,
49:42You must afford the two boys and a child of THE SEVERA
49:43I know that one fan is setting out on the Manh��.
50:05¡Gracias!
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