- 18 minutes ago
First broadcast 26th December 1984.
When Paddy Hurley can't pay Arthur what he owes him, he offers Arthur the opportunity of owning a greyhound instead.
Dennis Waterman - Terry
George Cole - Arthur
Patrick Malahide - Chisholm
Peter Childs - Rycott
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Colin Farrell - Tasty Tim
Michael Povey - D.C. Jones
Michael Troughton - D.C. Melish
Tony Caunter - D.I. Norton
Brian Capron - Fred
Jeff Pirie - Ted
Arthur Whybrow - Paddy Hurley
Joy Lemoine - Lady in Flat
Sidney Kean - Harry
Jerry Baker - Punter
Pat Gorman - Winchester Club Patron
Eric Kent - Winchester Club Patron
Roy Lansford - Winchester Club Patron
When Paddy Hurley can't pay Arthur what he owes him, he offers Arthur the opportunity of owning a greyhound instead.
Dennis Waterman - Terry
George Cole - Arthur
Patrick Malahide - Chisholm
Peter Childs - Rycott
Glynn Edwards - Dave
Colin Farrell - Tasty Tim
Michael Povey - D.C. Jones
Michael Troughton - D.C. Melish
Tony Caunter - D.I. Norton
Brian Capron - Fred
Jeff Pirie - Ted
Arthur Whybrow - Paddy Hurley
Joy Lemoine - Lady in Flat
Sidney Kean - Harry
Jerry Baker - Punter
Pat Gorman - Winchester Club Patron
Eric Kent - Winchester Club Patron
Roy Lansford - Winchester Club Patron
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Well, it'll keep you fit anyway, and British Rail are having a good morning after some early cancellations.
00:05Now, in a moment, we go up a thousand feet of our love in traffic with Brian Wolfe and the
00:09Flying Eye,
00:10but first, a classic oldie released from ten years ago today.
00:14What do you want?
00:18What's that?
00:18Morning, Terrence. Meet Daly's Deal.
00:20Huh?
00:21Daly's Deal, meet Terrence, your new kennel person.
00:24Be careful how you own that lead.
00:25What?
00:26Now, listen, Terrence, this is your actual eye thoroughbred animal.
00:30And as such, he's either sensitive to any form of maltreatment or rejection.
00:34I want you to remember that at all times.
00:35Oh, well, you can forget all this, mate.
00:37Pardon?
00:38I'm not looking after a dog.
00:39Dog? Dog? Mongrel's a dog?
00:42This little miracle of nature is a racing machine, a greyhound, a prince among sporting canines.
00:48Listen, it's got four legs, a tail, and it barks. It's a dog.
00:51I don't think you quite understand, Terry.
00:52I don't want to understand Arthur.
00:56So, you got a meat?
00:58Yeah.
00:59I, uh, caught a lot of tellies off a couple of geezers.
01:01Just got to weigh in with the reddies.
01:03Okay.
01:05Dave, what kind of a question is that?
01:08Sorry, I spoke.
01:14Hello, chaps. You found it, then?
01:15Yeah.
01:16How's it going, Tasty? All right?
01:18Scratching a few pennies here and there, you know?
01:20Dave!
01:21A couple of pals of mine.
01:23Fred and Ted.
01:24Pleased to meet you, gents.
01:25What's it going to be?
01:26Large scotches and, uh, whatever you want for yourself.
01:29Yeah, I'll get these.
01:29No, no. Leave off.
01:31I'll do it.
01:35Oh, come on. Get it off. Get it off.
01:37Oi, off.
01:37What's the matter with you? Don't you like God's creatures?
01:39Yeah, I love them.
01:40But I don't want one living here, sprawling all over the furniture.
01:43Come on, ride up.
01:43Calm down, calm down.
01:44It's just for a few days till I get them settled in with a trainer at White City.
01:49White City?
01:50Yeah.
01:50You've got diddle or something.
01:51That's the top GRH track, isn't it?
01:53That's where they hold the dog derby.
01:55Yeah.
01:55Only race a queen there.
01:57That's right.
01:57You ready?
01:58What for?
01:59Trial run.
02:00Come on, Dee Dee.
02:04Same again, Dave.
02:05Then we'll have to split.
02:06Oh, this one's on me.
02:06No, no, no, no, no. There you go.
02:08I insist.
02:09Now, listen, it's your living. Let me.
02:12Okay, you insist.
02:18What bit of lunacy made you buy a greyhound, eh?
02:20I didn't buy him. I took him in loo.
02:22What, a public loo?
02:23No, no, in loo of Reddy's.
02:25Paddy Early was into me for a few quid and couldn't come up with it,
02:28so he let me have the pick of the litter.
02:29That's why I call him Daley's Deal.
02:31Oh, yeah.
02:32I mean, he was only into me for 200 soffs.
02:35And, I mean, the great, great progeny of Mickla-Miller there.
02:38Couple of grand, the right way.
02:40Are we talking about the same Paddy Early?
02:42Yeah.
02:43Well-known breeder and trainer of many a wind forecast combination.
02:46Didn't he tell you that, didn't he, eh?
02:48No, no, this'll do. This'll do. Stay here.
02:50What?
02:50Now, Terry, unleash him, but restrain him.
02:54Restrain him?
02:54Yeah.
02:55He's sleepwalking now.
02:57How'd you expect to get him to run, eh?
03:01Oh, brilliant. Brilliant.
03:03Right. Stay there.
03:08Ready?
03:09Yeah, yeah, I'm ready. Yeah, I don't know about him, though.
03:12No, no, don't be misled by the intensity of the concentration, Terry.
03:15He's going to spring like a panther. Stand on me.
03:19Ready?
03:20Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah.
03:28Kill!
03:30Kill!
03:31Kill!
03:36Kill!
03:39He's still ready.
03:46Well, that'll have to do it, folks. You've really got to go.
03:48Are you sure?
03:50Oh, yeah.
03:51Yeah. About the other person.
03:55What?
03:57Naomi. Reason you're here. Sorry, chaps.
04:05Don't worry about Dave. He's one of your own.
04:07Oh. No offence, Dave. It's just that, you know...
04:11I didn't cock-a-daffin to what went on here. I wouldn't have any members at all.
04:15See you, Tate. Yeah, right. Yeah, Tateki. See you later, mate.
04:21No good hollering and hooting. We had a deal and that's it. And you got the bargain.
04:26Bargain? Bargain? This animal has narcoleprosy.
04:29Not to mention total paralysis of its lower limbs, namely its legs.
04:33Don't you listen to him, Dee Dee.
04:35Oh, come on, Arthur. You've only had the bloody thing a few hours.
04:38Yeah, long enough to recognise certain movement deficiencies. Run, he can't even trot.
04:42The best he can do is walk. And that's backwards, slowly.
04:45That's only because he ain't had a chance to get used to you. It's a proper thoroughbred, innit?
04:48They're highly strong. You have to give them a bit of time.
04:52Time? Listen, Paddy.
04:55Down, Fritz!
04:57Martha, all the dog needs is a bit of care and attention and it will be a flying machine.
05:01You take my word. And if that don't work, tuck a bit of mustard up its tookers.
05:05That'll make it shift a bit lively.
05:07Tuck a bit of mustard. Good grief, Paddy. What are you suggesting?
05:11What's he feeding you until?
05:14Tennis balls.
05:14Tennis balls.
05:17Looking forward to this, are you?
05:20Ooh.
05:21Come on then, son.
05:23Here you go. Come on, come on.
05:30Well, that ain't your appetite, is it, Fido?
05:32Steak.
05:33Yeah, steak. And brown bread.
05:35Brown bread? Yeah, you know, roughage.
05:37Ruff, ruff.
05:40Hey, I'll tell you something else Paddy gave me a tip for one or nothing I have to invest in,
05:44are you?
05:45When the dog is ready to run, just before the off, you know, a certain unspeakable procedure with mustard would
05:51enhance its performance no end, if you get my meaning.
05:54You do what?
05:58Half of me, old son. How's business?
06:01Subject to the usual fluctuations, Tasty.
06:02You?
06:03About the same, about the same.
06:05That usual, Dave, won't be yourself and Arthur.
06:07Oh, Tom, that is a large one, Dave.
06:09Of course, sir.
06:10Hey, Tasty, do you know anything about the vagaries of the sporting cane, right?
06:14What?
06:15Grey owls.
06:17Oh.
06:18Well?
06:19I don't know, some.
06:20The mate of mine's got a couple, he races.
06:22Well, what do you want to know?
06:23Well, I've just acquired one, I want to know how to make it run.
06:26Well, I could give him a ring, I suppose, ask him.
06:29Here you go, gents. Two large vodkas.
06:30Here's your time.
06:31Yeah, would you?
06:32Yeah.
06:36Alright?
06:38There you go.
06:43Go on then.
06:45Go on, stick.
06:52I'll go.
06:58Come on then.
07:01Come on.
07:07Yeah, might be interesting.
07:08How many?
07:09Say, uh, 30?
07:12Well, what have they got to come to?
07:14One or a lump?
07:15I'll see what I can do, ring you back.
07:18Blimey, hang on a bit.
07:19Hey, Dave.
07:22Yeah, yeah, cool.
07:23Yeah.
07:24Tari.
07:25Yeah, right.
07:27Listen, um, there's one thing that might come in handy.
07:32Wait a minute.
07:33Three.
07:34Three.
07:35Nice.
07:36Gentle start.
07:41You're three.
07:43And another five.
07:49Hello, Charlie.
07:51Ronald.
07:51Keepin' you busy, Ollie.
07:53Things are never exactly slack in this job, I mean.
07:56I don't know.
07:56What, you got a heavy caseload, have you?
07:58Who hasn't?
07:59Well, I've had a bit of result this week, Charlie.
08:01I practically cleared my desk.
08:03And secured a couple of convictions as well.
08:04Really?
08:06Things are always easier when your prospects volunteer written confessions, eh, Ronnie?
08:10Well, as you are up to your ears, innit?
08:12I won't keep you, Charlie.
08:14Oh, if there is anything you need a bit of help with, let me know.
08:16Always happy to help out.
08:18Come on.
08:22Did you hear that?
08:23Did you hear that?
08:25Sorry, Gov.
08:25What is that?
08:26I need a bit of help.
08:27Bloody arrogance.
08:29Well, if he says so, do you think it'll work?
08:32Well, so Ted says, he knows a bit about dogs.
08:35That was him in here yesterday with his partner, Fred.
08:37Oh, yeah.
08:38Seem like an all-right couple.
08:39They ain't from round here, though, are they?
08:40No, no, no.
08:41They're from over the water.
08:42But I've done a few trades with them.
08:44A couple of your own, you know what I mean?
08:46Well, I've seen proper enough.
08:47Which, er, makes me think, Arthur, you, er...
08:51No, no, no, you wouldn't be interested.
08:53Interested in what?
08:54Well, when I was on the ploy just now about your dog,
08:57Fred happened to mention he'd, er...
08:59I've got a little parcel, Arthur.
09:02Yeah, well, look, I'll just get a couple of drinks, you know.
09:05Oh?
09:05Then what might that be?
09:08Video recorders.
09:10Video recorders.
09:13Terry!
09:14What's the meaning of this?
09:15Meaning of what?
09:16Hello, Tasty.
09:17Good evening, what?
09:18Pedigree racing hound in a place like this.
09:20Oh, he ain't fussy.
09:21Should have seen what he fancied in the park.
09:23Ugh.
09:23Give us half.
09:24Coming up.
09:24What he fancied?
09:25You haven't been letting this animal drain his natural energy, have you?
09:29Look, he don't even know what his legs are for, let alone the other.
09:32Of course, a serious setback in his training schedule.
09:35I suppose that cigar's not going to do him any or no, eh?
09:37Is that it?
09:39Yeah, that is it.
09:40Oh, he's got nice eyes.
09:42Shame about the legs.
09:45Sorry, Tasty.
09:45You were, er, saying something about these video machines.
09:49Oh, yeah, are you interested?
09:51Well, it depends how many and how much.
09:53Well, they've got 30 of them.
09:54They?
09:55Fred and his pal.
09:56They're asking a tour apiece.
09:58I'm not interested.
09:59Hey, don't worry.
10:00I know I can bid them down to one and a half.
10:02These ain't your cheapy models.
10:04They retail over six in the shops.
10:06I'm interested.
10:07Hold on, hold on.
10:08What's the history on these video machines?
10:09What's the what?
10:10History?
10:13Geezer they know of a long firm.
10:14Unloading his stock before the creditors move in.
10:16In other words, a rookie?
10:17No.
10:18No.
10:19Not really.
10:20It's like a bankrupt stock that's innocently sold off before the receiver steps in.
10:26It's right, isn't it, Arthur?
10:27Yeah, a perfectly normal business procedure.
10:29I mean, all your respectable defaulters do it.
10:31Oh, yeah.
10:32So, who are these two pals of yours then, are they?
10:34Well, Dave knows them.
10:36Yeah, Dave, here a minute.
10:37Oh, they are cash customers.
10:39Sorry, there.
10:41Well, of course I'm interested.
10:42Tell me more.
10:46When is this going off?
10:49But you will let me know, won't you?
10:52Well, it had better be right, because I've got to tell you, you're well overdue, my son.
10:56I'm well overdue, if you take my meaning.
10:59You know how to get in touch.
11:03Good news, isn't it, Dave?
11:05Could be, James.
11:07Could be.
11:08Oh.
11:10What?
11:13Nothing.
11:14Nothing.
11:17Just wondering, like, you know.
11:21That happens to be a personal informant of mine,
11:24who's been intelligent enough to give me some interesting intelligence
11:27about a little firm knocking out bent videos.
11:30Know them, do we?
11:31No.
11:32Not yet.
11:34But we will.
11:36We will.
11:52Did he have anything useful to whisper in your ear, then, girl?
11:56If he's right, Mellish, more than useful, more than useful, this could be a bloody big coup.
12:01Oh, yeah.
12:02Oh, yes.
12:03This could mean that I should be nicking the bold Arthur Daly and his crony, Terry McCann,
12:07bang to rights.
12:09In a very serious criminal exercise.
12:13You don't think he's sick or something, do you?
12:15Well, you know what Paddy said, he's homesick.
12:17I mean, he'd tell her himself if he could talk.
12:21He can't talk at all, can he?
12:23He's got no woof to his mouth.
12:24Please, Terry.
12:25Jokes in bad taste are not good for his morale.
12:27You never know, it might make him run away.
12:31He'll run.
12:32I have something in here that will bring about a devastating turn of poor.
12:36What's that, a large economy jar of Coleman's, is it?
12:39Eh?
12:45It's okay, the palmer.
12:50All right?
12:51Yeah, I've fixed up a meat.
12:55He shouldn't be too long.
12:58You're meeting him here?
13:00Yeah.
13:01I don't see why this little bit of business should interfere with Dee Dee's training schedule.
13:05You sure you know what you're getting into with this video deal?
13:07Yeah, if they want to sell, I want to buy it.
13:09What's the problem?
13:10You don't know the geezers, they could be anybody.
13:13Well, Tasty's done business with them.
13:14Yeah, well, I've always had him down as a bit slippery and all.
13:16Nah, that's just his way.
13:18Anyway, Dave says they're proper people.
13:20What, and a strength for one drink?
13:22Look, what are you worrying about? What am I, a mug or something?
13:28What do you mean he wants a sample?
13:29Well, that shouldn't be a problem, should it?
13:40You're joking, aren't you?
13:48You will try not to mark, damage or abuse it, Fred, won't you?
13:51Don't worry, Harry, it'll be safe.
13:58Thanks, mate.
13:59Yeah.
14:02Just bring it back intact, oh!
14:12Faster, Terry, faster!
14:14I'm going as fast as bleeding can!
14:16Well, put it in our gear, then!
14:18It's in the ice gear already!
14:20What?
14:21Oh, no, it's pretty ridiculous!
14:23This spool's too small!
14:25Look!
14:26It was already a spring fourth when you stopped!
14:29Get back on!
14:30No!
14:31What is the matter with you?
14:33T.D. was already fitting off!
14:35Listen, if I'd been on the road, I would have been doing about 100 miles an hour!
14:38Oh, yeah?
14:39Look, that's stupid, that thing!
14:41It should be the same size as the wheel!
14:42I told you that before we started!
14:43That is just your excuse!
14:45Well, it's all give me strength!
14:46Well, somebody better!
14:51Hey, the blokes you'll meet in?
14:53Yeah.
14:56No, you must have misheard me!
14:57I said a motorbike, didn't I?
14:59I mean, it's obvious, isn't it?
15:01Well, sorry, Arthur.
15:03I got it a bit wrong.
15:04That bike with a special fixtures put me back 38 sobs!
15:07And now you tell me you got it wrong!
15:09Well, it don't matter!
15:11I mean, nothing's gonna make this run!
15:12Yeah, some of them can be like that!
15:14Bloody Paddy!
15:15I reckon he knew!
15:16Oh, really?
15:18Well, Eds, how about our bit of business?
15:21Yeah, right.
15:22Tasty says you want to view the goods before...
15:24Yeah, yeah, no disrespect, Fred, but I like to do things proper.
15:27You do understand?
15:28Oh, of course, Arthur.
15:29Wouldn't be right to part with any wedge until he's seen what he's getting.
15:31Exactly.
15:32Want to have a look at it here?
15:33Yeah?
15:34We've got one tucked in a boot.
15:36Oh.
15:40Um...
15:40Yeah, all right.
15:49It looks like the business.
15:50What do you reckon, Terry?
15:52It's all right, I suppose.
15:53I don't know.
15:56Twenty, eh?
15:57Thirty.
15:58I thought Tasty was that intent.
16:00Oh, I'd like to stick some dough into something else, Arthur, all right?
16:02I'd only take five.
16:03If you want to rest...
16:05Well, I'll tell you what, make them a one or a piece and I'll take them.
16:07No, forget it!
16:09I mean, we've got to get a bit out of it, haven't we?
16:11I thought you said he'd agree to price.
16:13Yeah.
16:14That's what I thought.
16:16Come on, Fred.
16:17I ain't being pissed around like this.
16:19Bernie said he'd take half of them, and for what we're asking.
16:21Yeah, you're right.
16:22Still on chores, don't you?
16:24Yeah.
16:24Yeah, right, we'll sort it out later.
16:25Now, hang on, chaps, don't let's be hasty.
16:26I'm sure we can come to a compromise on this price.
16:29How about one and a quarter?
16:33Excuse us a minute, will you?
16:34Yeah.
16:38What are you doing, Arthur?
16:41It's going to make you look a right mug, innit?
16:42Don't be soppy, Tasty, I'm doing you a favour.
16:44They'll think I'm a right mug if I don't bid, won't they?
16:47If you want my opinion, I think you ought to forget the old bleeding thing.
16:50Yeah, well, we don't want your opinion.
16:51I think when it comes to business decisions, I make them.
16:54Oh, yeah?
16:55What, like the double shrewd deal you did with Paddy earlier, eh?
16:57No, no, no, don't worry.
16:58You will be paying a visit to Paddy, will I?
17:00Oh, yeah.
17:01Make it 135 a lump and they're yours.
17:03130 and you've got to trade.
17:06Okay.
17:20Did you see them then, Gab?
17:23I did, yes.
17:24Oh?
17:26They'll be at it tonight, and so will we.
17:28Not much to go on, is it, though?
17:30Couple of Christian names, no descriptions.
17:32No matter.
17:33It's a bonus.
17:35Oh?
17:35Guess who the buyer is.
17:39Right.
17:41It's our very much.
17:44The result, Gav?
17:45The right result.
17:48Daly and McCann are as good as holding hands on the exercise yard in the scrubs.
18:18All right.
18:21When are we moving then, Gav?
18:23Have you got something to go?
18:24As soon as we're sure they've got their gear.
18:27When does Arnie want the van back?
18:30I said any time in the morning it'd be all right.
18:32Listen, why didn't you get them just to deliver straight round to the locker?
18:35They haven't got suitable transport.
18:37No, we meet them at the boozer with Tasty and then we collect from their geezer.
18:41Are you sure this is kosher?
18:43How can it not be, Terry?
18:52That's it, over there.
19:02Cheers.
19:02Cheers.
19:03Cheers.
19:04You sure he'll show?
19:06Of course he will.
19:07Love's a deal, Arthur.
19:09Don't you?
19:09You'll play it.
19:12Direction unknown.
19:16Yes, go on, Edna.
19:18Thirteen.
19:18Thirteen for eleven.
19:37Can you imagine Charlie Chisholm's face when I walk into the station with both Daly and McCann on a lead?
19:45There'll be one up on Sergeant Rightcott if you collar them wanted.
19:48What do you mean if?
19:49He's as good as nicked.
19:53All right, shall we get going then?
19:55No point in all of us schlepping round here.
19:57You take Terry to pick up the parcel, we'll dwell here till he gets back.
20:01Is that all right with you, Arthur?
20:02Certainly, Fred, yes, certainly.
20:04Tasty?
20:05That suits me.
20:06As long as we don't have to hang around too long.
20:07I've got some other business to see.
20:09All right, off you go then.
20:11All right.
20:12Let them now.
20:13Now.
20:13Come on.
20:14Let me finish me bleeding drink first.
20:24Must be one of them with what can't no go.
20:26Don't get overexcited, Jones.
20:28They'll be bang.
20:46Take long, won't it?
20:47Well, we've got time for a few more drinks.
20:49Yeah.
20:50Darling.
20:53I thought you said it was just up the road.
20:56Don't worry.
20:56It ain't much further.
20:59Lord, I hate these places.
21:01That's where he lives.
21:03Yeah, first of all, number 10.
21:04You might as well keep an eye on the van while I go and get him.
21:09I won't be long.
21:12I thought you said they wouldn't be long.
21:14I can't hang about, you know.
21:15In fact, I shouldn't be here now.
21:17Yeah, well, they've got a clit, they guys, don't they?
21:18Get round to his warehouse and load up.
21:20Takes a bit of time, doesn't it?
21:21Yeah.
21:22Yeah, but listen, Arthur, you don't mind if I slip, do you?
21:24I don't know at all.
21:25But what about...
21:26I'll weigh in with my bit now.
21:28Then I'll call round and pick up my stuff from your lock-up tomorrow.
21:30If you don't mind.
21:31No, no, no, that's fine.
21:32But don't you want to...
21:33Oh, no, no, no.
21:34Give it a half or two.
21:35Oh, that way we keep everything properly, you know.
21:37Okay.
21:38Yeah.
21:39I'll see you then.
21:40Yeah.
21:40Tomorrow.
21:41Right.
21:42Oh, by the way.
21:44Can you ship those TVs I've got to you?
21:45No problem.
21:46It'll be the same day.
21:48See you then.
21:52Me and Ted have got a meet as well.
21:54Hope they ain't gonna be much longer.
21:56Probably.
22:00Yeah, I was...
22:03Oh, I'm sorry.
22:04Go not in jail.
22:07Maybe I can go with you.
22:08Get out of here.
22:09Come on!
22:09Be sure.
22:11You're getting out of here.
22:12Get out of here!
22:14Get out of here!
22:17Get out of here!
22:18Get out of here!
22:19Get out of here!
22:20Get out of here!
22:24Get out of here!
22:31what's he bloody doing back on his own
22:35do you think we ought to make a move now
22:38no why not
22:40because what would be the point without the evidence
22:51hello
22:53sorry to bother you can have a word with you please
22:54Ted who? Ted you just came up here
22:56about my own ain't fair curly hair
22:58I think you got the wrong flat
23:00there ain't no fair curly hair bloke here
23:03in fact
23:04there ain't no bloke here
23:06no he definitely said number 10
23:08well you're certainly welcome to come in and look around
23:11well maybe some other time
23:13sorry about that
23:16hey what's the matter
23:17you prejudiced or something
23:20puncture? yeah about a mile up the road
23:22it was a front tyre as well
23:23oh I thought we was gonna smash into this post box
23:25but we didn't
23:26everything's alright in it
23:27I mean you won't damage none of the
23:29no no no they're alright
23:31mind I'm glad Plod weren't about to make themselves busy
23:47he was having a bit of ag fixing the spare so I jumped in a cab to let you know
23:50in case anyone was wondering where we were
23:53mind you it's a bleeding nuisance
23:55we're supposed to be over the other place about now
23:57yeah you're right
23:58hey but what about
23:58it's okay we'll jump in a motor and drop you off at Terry in the van
24:01alright we'll just finish this
24:02what about the
24:04oh yeah I mean you forgot
24:05you got the dough off her
24:07dough?
24:08you know for the
24:09oh yeah yeah
24:10well give us it then and let's get going
24:12what give it to you now
24:13do you want to stand in a member street checking a parcel
24:15but like count of money?
24:16no no of course not
24:17but I think I'll hang on to the readies until I've seen
24:18do what?
24:19take it easy Ted don't start
24:20don't start?
24:21don't start?
24:22I didn't want to knock him out to him in the first place
24:24alright how are you?
24:25alright nothing
24:26I've been running around like a loon
24:28umping the bleeding gear
24:29no sodding
24:30let's flog him to Bernie like I said
24:32and we'll make more for our end
24:33okay okay look look you get yourself a drink
24:36and me and I'll probably be back in a minute
24:37come on Arthur
24:38come on where?
24:39where's less public?
24:58sorry about that Arthur
24:59Ted's as good as gold really
25:01but he can get a bit violent
25:02if he thinks people are taking a look at this
25:03yeah I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset him
25:05funny you wouldn't have hoped to look at him
25:06but he murdered a geezer once
25:07murdered?
25:08yeah but he had a result
25:10got it reduced to manslaughter
25:11only ended up getting a five
25:13why?
25:14look um
25:14it's not that I don't trust you
25:16understand but uh
25:17just to keep him happy
25:18if you want to just let me check the dough
25:20oh yeah of course he'd put it like that
25:22then why not
25:22only if you're sure
25:24listen Fred
25:25without trust there'd be no trading would there
25:27now there's taste his bit
25:29and there's mine
25:30I'm sure we'll find this all out
25:31I'm sure it is Arthur
25:32look I just want to take a quick care
25:34I'll be out in a minute
25:34alright
25:55oh cool
25:56oh cool
25:57hold on
26:00hold on
26:00pay them out yesterday
26:00now I'm fine
26:01I'll go
26:01please please take care
26:02receiving a new click
26:03over
26:043-3
26:05on the street
26:06now the care over
26:07er hello
26:08no please tell me
26:09oh hello
26:10share 3-7
26:11er somewhere on board
26:12er
26:13no
26:13hello
26:14you can't hear the air
26:15it's reaching there
26:16you can't hear it
26:17you can't hear it
26:17you can't hear it
26:18er
26:18you can't hear it
26:25How? No, wait till they come out.
26:28I've been cornered, Terry. The bastards have cornered me.
26:31Nearly four grand. Oh, my God.
26:33I told you I never found them.
26:34There's no time for I told you so.
26:35Come on, I want them found. I want their bodies damaged and brutalised.
26:38I want my money back.
26:47Right.
26:48Go.
26:51Now.
26:52Now.
27:05You a fleeting idiot.
27:10Right, cop. What the bloody hell?
27:13What in God's name are you doing here?
27:15What am I doing here? I am on surveillance.
27:18So am I. I was just in the process of nicking these two.
27:21So was I.
27:22Mr. Chisholm. Mr. Rycott.
27:25Do you need a witness?
27:26Never mind all that daily. You are both nicked.
27:28Nick what for?
27:29Wait a minute, Rycott. This is my collar, if you don't mind.
27:32It is not.
27:33We've been watching them all evening.
27:34So have we.
27:35Open up the back of this van.
27:36Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. What are you all talking about?
27:38Hold on.
27:39Hey.
27:39Do you mind?
27:40As a matter of fact, I do.
27:45Anything we can assist you gentlemen with?
27:48It's always the same these days. You can't trust anyone. Not even your so-called friends.
27:53I don't know why you're having a go at me, Arthur. It's not my fault you got cornered.
27:56You vouchsafed their credentials. You said they were proper people.
27:59I just said they were a couple of your own who didn't mind putting their hands in their pockets.
28:03If you ask me, it's tasty you ought to be having a word with.
28:05Don't worry. I've got Terry out looking for him now.
28:07Don't worry. It's good. How's the wonder dog you?
28:12Homesick. About to see.
28:23Oi!
28:25Terry!
28:26Where?
28:27Just on my way round to Arthur's lot happened to pick up my bit of gear.
28:30Good. Does that want to work with you?
28:32What about? What about?
28:33I'm talking about three grand's worth of non-existent videos that you sold Arthur.
28:37Non-existent? What are you talking about?
28:40Just getting a motor, eh?
28:42Are you telling me you didn't collect? Just getting a motor.
28:47You must be maltreating him somehow.
28:49Maltreating him?
28:50This dog of dogs has had more steak stuck in him than Dracula.
28:54Overfeeding it then.
28:56Listen.
28:56This animal you foisted on me will not run.
28:59It is immobile.
29:01This is a stationary dog.
29:03Well, I don't understand.
29:05It ran for me.
29:07Perhaps that is because you were prepared to do unspeakable things to its nether regions.
29:12I personally am not prepared to subject myself or this miserable beast to such a distasteful ordeal.
29:18So what do you want to do?
29:19Not what I want to do. It's what I'm doing. I'm backing it.
29:22In what race?
29:25I am backing it whence it came. To this knackered yard.
29:28What am I supposed to do with it?
29:30I don't care. Teach it to lay down, play dead.
29:32That shouldn't be difficult. I want my 200 sovs.
29:40I want my 200-year-old.
29:41I want my 200-year-old.
29:52All right, let's get him.
29:58I want my 200-year-old.
29:58All right.
29:58All right.
30:03All right.
30:09Right, bloody fiasco. That turn out yesterday, ain't it?
30:13The way Chisholm's going off, I think it was my bloody fault.
30:16Yeah, well, it's not my governor after to do the explaining of the DI.
30:20My life's a misery with that man.
30:22Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, it's not too jolly.
30:29Just between you and me, Teth, who was it you ready-eyed it for you?
30:34Well, just between me and you, John, if I had told you that, and Chisholm got to know,
30:39I'd be back in the Three Valleys, directly in traffic.
30:44I swear, Arthur, my eyesight, I'm just as gutted as you are.
30:48I can't believe they can have done this. There must be some explanation.
30:51There is. You bloody set me up.
30:53I'll stop, you mean.
30:54Come off it, I've done my dough as well. Money I trusted you to look after for me.
30:59Yeah, if anyone should have the amp around here, it should be me with you.
31:01Hit him, Terry. Hit him several times all over the place.
31:03That's not going to be necessary, is it?
31:05No, no, no. Look, Arthur, let's try and be reasonable about this.
31:07Reasonable? I have done three and a half grand, in cold,
31:10down to you, introducing me to them reptiles. I want it back.
31:14Well, don't you think I want my bit back?
31:15Look, never mind all that crap. Where can we find these merchants?
31:18Well, I only know where they drink.
31:20Right, Tasty, let's go. Get in the back.
31:21Go? Go where?
31:22Where your mates drink. And if I get my money back, I might even let you buy me one.
31:25Go on, get in the back. Go on.
31:55Go on, get in the back.
31:59Staggering.
32:03Worthy of the deepest contempt.
32:07Bloody farcical. An exercise of mind-boggling ineptitude.
32:12What the hell do you think you both were doing?
32:15Well, as I have explained in my report, sir...
32:18All you have explained, Sergeant Rycott, is a remarkable aptitude for ignoring police procedure.
32:25Well, actually, sir...
32:27The same goes for you, Chisholm.
32:29Well, sir, if I...
32:30Haven't we got enough real villains running around this division free,
32:33without you wasting valuable police property and time
32:36on independent crusades after petty suspect characters like Daley and McCann?
32:40And with all due respect, sir, I mean, if that information had proved correct...
32:45But it wasn't. Was it?
32:48Well, no, sir.
32:50And, er, who are these mysterious informers,
32:53whose identities you both seem at pains to hide?
32:59Well, actually, sir...
33:02The days of police officers keeping the identities of their own pet grasses to themselves are over.
33:08Do I make myself clear?
33:10Absolutely, sir.
33:11Oh, yes, of course, sir.
33:19Well...
33:25Actually, mine was anonymous, sir.
33:28If so was mine, sir, so was mine.
33:36Frankly, Jones, I'm getting a bit tired of your ineptitude.
33:39Me? What have I done?
33:39Well, not enough. Not nearly enough.
33:41Do what you tell me to do.
33:43Well, exactly. There's no drive, no ambition, no initiative. It's all left to me.
33:47Aye, aye. Give you a hard time, did he, girl?
33:49What?
33:50Er, the tea I like, you know. Give you a hard time.
33:54Sorry, John, boy.
33:56You are friendly with Rycott's DC Mellish, are you nut?
34:00Yes, we do have the occasional drink together, but...
34:03Is it entirely beyond your ability to find out what Rycott and Mellish are up to in the future and
34:07help by putting me in the picture?
34:10Yeah.
34:16Did you glean anything from Jones?
34:20Like what?
34:21Like what is Chisholm's grass called?
34:24Like what is their next move?
34:27Well, he's very loyal to his governor, actually, Gov.
34:31So, er, what's our next move?
34:34Find that bloody grass of mine and try and discover what the hell went boss-eyed yesterday.
34:42We've been here long enough. Where are they?
34:44How do I know, Arthur?
34:46I'm normally in here every day.
34:48This is ridiculous.
34:49Oh, look, if you've got a bit of business to do, how do you contact them, mate?
34:52I've got a number, and I...
34:53Well, why didn't you say so?
34:54There's only certain times of the day you can ring it.
34:58Might be all right now.
34:59Come on, get on!
35:05What number is it?
35:08That one.
35:11Like that down.
35:12Good thinking, Terry.
35:14Two six.
35:24No answer.
35:29No.
35:30What now?
35:31I'm bursting for a leak.
35:33Go with him.
35:35No, no, no, it's all right.
35:36There are no windows you can slip out of in there.
35:38You sure?
35:39Listen, listen, you can't keep hold of him, you definitely can't.
35:42So why don't we just let him shoot off, and I'll follow him a bit cunning, right?
35:45See if he is stitching us up or not.
35:51Well, he likes a bet, Gov.
35:52What about that shop he generally uses?
35:54Expare me your pertinent suggestions, James, please.
35:56Let's go.'ll
35:57find out, please. Hello?
36:26I think our best bet is to sit off outside his drum and wait until he shows.
36:50And I think he's going to be the best bet on this video.
36:54So now I'm going to check out how to make a knife.
36:55I'm going to check out how to make a knife.
37:07I'm going to check out how to make a knife.
37:21Then I'll give him the moody phone call to the telephone box.
37:24He well stood it, didn't he?
37:26Done him like a kibber.
37:28Yeah, well, you'll want to stay convincing
37:29if you don't want to spank him off that Terry.
37:31I understand he's a bit useful.
37:48What are you going to say to him?
37:50Can we meet at a place of your convenience?
37:53Can I have my money back, please?
37:55They're long gone, Arthur.
37:57Dave, your positive pessimism is a constant source of comfort to me.
38:02Well, maybe Terry will get lucky.
38:03I sincerely hope so.
38:05I'll never be able to hold my head up on the manor again
38:07if they get away with it.
38:08I think it gets about.
38:09You're leaving?
38:10I don't want to.
38:12Got to.
38:13Webbed up with her indoors.
38:14Staying overnight with the in-laws.
38:16Call to give me strength.
38:18If Terry shows, I'll be back in the morning.
38:20All right, Sherry.
38:21Drive carefully.
38:23I'll be back in the morning.
38:24Okay.
38:25Okay.
38:33Okay.
38:39Okay.
38:40Okay.
38:40Okay.
38:40Okay.
38:40Okay.
38:40Okay.
38:40Okay.
38:41Okay.
39:08I'm going to go through the cards over here.
39:11I'll have three.
39:18Where's it?
39:20Three.
39:20Three thousand years.
39:22Nice.
39:23I'll have three.
39:27You're three, and another five of them.
39:32Yeah, I'll go on a minute.
39:40Charlie, what are you doing here?
39:43What are you doing with this man, Rykert?
39:45Well, I don't suppose it matters very much now, Charlie, but this is my grass, Tasty Tim.
39:50Oh, no, he's not.
39:51He's mine.
39:56I can explain everything.
40:04It's the truth, Mr. Chisholm, Mr. Rykert.
40:08May I never see my poor sick mother again, alone in her wheelchair, at the old folks' home.
40:14Look, it wasn't my fault.
40:16The geezer with the videos didn't show.
40:18I mean, how was I supposed to know that would happen?
40:20It still doesn't explain how you gave this officer here the same information as you gave me
40:26without telling either of us.
40:28Mr. Chisholm means, Tasty.
40:30You gave us that false information separately.
40:34That is what I said.
40:35That is what I said.
40:36Thus occasioning a very serious waste of my valuable time.
40:39And mine.
40:40And mine.
40:40Not to mention causing Mr. Chisholm to crash his motor car into mine.
40:44What?
40:45What?
40:46It was you crashed into me?
40:47Look, Mr. Rykert, Mr. Chisholm, be fair.
40:50Put yourselves in my position.
40:52You both of you put the frighteners on me at the same time to come up with something.
40:56Well, when the seat turned up, I thought, do them both a favour.
41:00You know, what was I supposed to do?
41:02I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
41:03I'm going to give you one last chance to come up with a result.
41:06And soon.
41:07Otherwise, you're going to be in serious trouble, my son.
41:10I shall personally see to that.
41:25Hello, Taff.
41:26Hey, what are you doing here without Mr. Chisholm on your arm?
41:29Don't mention that name.
41:31I'll have a large scotch please, Dave.
41:33Follow up quickly by another one.
41:35Not that, is it?
41:36No.
41:45Oh, yeah.
41:52And that's not all I have to put up with.
41:54See?
41:57Do you know something?
41:59No, was it?
42:01I suppose you know what happened.
42:03I suppose you know what happened with Arthur and Taffy.
42:06Yeah, I understand they had a bit of aggro with your lot.
42:09Some sort of mistakes, are they?
42:11Mistake?
42:12Mistake is no word for it.
42:15He's going to eat the leg.
42:17This is strictly between me and you, Dave.
42:21Strictly between you and me.
42:24Look, Taff, I am well known for my discretion.
42:27You're joking.
42:29I'm not.
42:29Totally legless, apparently.
42:31Dave had to bung him in a cab.
42:32Then he phoned me and told me what happened.
42:34It's got fun if you think about it, innit?
42:36Tasty having them both over.
42:38That's not funny, Terry.
42:40That conniving little ratbags have us all over.
42:42Yeah.
42:42And according to what Jones let slip to Dave,
42:44he's being pressured to put us on offer again.
42:46Yeah, and his two pals.
42:47I want to see him in intensive care.
42:49What?
42:50Well, you can bet that his two corner artist mates
42:52don't know he's a wrong one.
42:53Well, who cares what happens to them?
42:54After I get my money back, that is.
42:56Which reminds me.
42:57We can use it, can't we?
42:59You as well.
43:13Here we go.
43:16Oi!
43:19Come in, Samson!
43:21Oh, it's all right, Tom!
43:22Either I'll break your arm, or I'll break his legs,
43:24or you'll give Arthur back his dough, all right?
43:26Don't get excited.
43:27We can sort this out without getting physical.
43:28Can we?
43:42You look ill, Jones.
43:45Well, I hope you're not going to use that as an excuse
43:47for being four hours late on duty.
43:50You see?
44:06We all hustle for a living, Arthur.
44:08No hard feelings, I hope.
44:09It ain't nothing personal.
44:11All right, Terry.
44:11You can chin them now.
44:12Oh, shut up.
44:13You've got your dough, ain't you?
44:13What?
44:14Listen, there's something you two ought to know.
44:16I think we ought to have a little discussion.
44:22Tasty of grass.
44:23Not only did he set Arthur and me up with you two,
44:26now he intends to set us all up to be nicked.
44:30Well, we'd better do something about that then.
44:32Hey, Fred.
44:34Right.
44:36Well, what's my part in it then?
44:38Well, Fred's gone to get the mug now.
44:39All you have to do is stand the van with a bit of gear.
44:41Yeah.
44:41Fred and I turn up with a mug and we do the usual.
44:44Show him the gear, agree a price and, er, well, you know.
44:47Well, like we've done with Arthur.
44:48Right.
44:49Go on, get him.
44:54Well, that's what she said.
45:00And what did you say your name was?
45:01Well, that don't matter, does it?
45:03Thing is, Tasty asked me to pass on this message
45:06because he couldn't get to a phone.
45:10Oh, yeah.
45:10And, er, he said,
45:11could you pass this message on to, er, Sergeant Rycock, is it?
45:16Yeah, he said something about, er,
45:18keep him in the picture.
45:19Said you'd know what he meant.
45:23Aren't you going to tell Mr. Rycock, Gov?
45:25Why should I?
45:26Do you think he'd tell me?
45:35How do you think that he would tell you?
45:37How do you think he'd tell you?
45:41Oh, I see.
45:42I see oh yeah and he said could you pass this message on to Sergeant Chisholm is
45:50it yeah that's right well I don't think Mellish it's out of character and
45:57besides I can't tell him if he's not here can I
46:29mr. Chisholm what are you doing here what are you doing here where are the others and what may I
46:34ask
46:35these well what well well Charlie what a coincidence I don't believe this where's
46:51daily McCann what yeah I don't know how you come to be here Charlie my name is
46:58Albert come on what happened then they had another bloody rock about who was
47:03going to Nick tasty once it was discovered the TV's my Bentley my don't ever let on
47:09I've told you all this Chisholm would crucify me I don't worry to have your
47:12secrets safe with us oh god can't you picture their faces they weren't too
47:16pleased I can tell you you know just between us to today sister someone we
47:20might know set them up what do you bloody think nothing they can do about it though
47:25is there excuse me gotta phone the governor triple Charlie his name's out
47:30that oh I guess better don't it
47:34Jonesy
47:38Arthur a Paddy you come to give me my tour yes I have Arthur hey and I'll buy you a
47:44drink what yeah you did me a right favor give me that dog back yeah turned out
47:49he was only suffering with some sort of virus just won a grade a race at the
47:52white city flew in nearly broke the track record
47:56trainer reckons he'll turn out to be a likely Derby prospect this year Terry
48:03where's he running next and when Terence
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