- 6 weeks ago
First broadcast 29th November 1968.
A violent pupil returns to the school.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Ann Lancaster - Mrs. Pearce
Winifred Braemar - Mrs. Armitage
Fred Beauman - Uncle Niklos (as Frederick Beauman)
Roger Carey - Abapellogopholis
Alan Mason - Fireman
Tony Alleff - Niklos' Sidekick (as Tony Allef)
Alister Williamson - Mr. Duffy
George Georghiou - Pupil in checked shirt
A violent pupil returns to the school.
John Alderton - Bernard Hedges
Deryck Guyler - Norman Potter
Noel Howlett - Mr. Cromwell
Joan Sanderson - Doris Ewell
Richard Davies - Mr. Price
Erik Chitty - Mr. Smith
Liz Gebhardt - Maureen Bullock
Penny Spencer - Sharon Eversleigh
Peter Cleall - Eric Duffy
Malcolm McFee - Peter Craven
Peter Denyer - Dennis Dunstable
David Barry - Frankie Abbott
Ann Lancaster - Mrs. Pearce
Winifred Braemar - Mrs. Armitage
Fred Beauman - Uncle Niklos (as Frederick Beauman)
Roger Carey - Abapellogopholis
Alan Mason - Fireman
Tony Alleff - Niklos' Sidekick (as Tony Allef)
Alister Williamson - Mr. Duffy
George Georghiou - Pupil in checked shirt
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00The
00:30May your days be merry and bright
00:57And may all your Christmases be white
01:03Well, that's it, then.
01:09Have a fag, Rose.
01:10Oh, child, oh, child.
01:14Well, come along, ladies.
01:16Jildy, jildy, chop, chop.
01:18We've finished.
01:20Oh.
01:21Yes, well, let's see then.
01:24Yes, well, that'll be all then, won't it?
01:41Usually is, when we've finished.
01:43When you've finished, yes.
01:44Yes, well, I'm sorry to be such a martinique, you know,
01:47but I always have a lot on my plate, Mondays.
01:50I still wonder you've got all more.
01:52Well, I see you understand.
01:58You understand my problem, Mrs. Arbjee.
02:00Oh, we understand completely, don't we, Rose?
02:02Yes.
02:04Well, we'll take this morning, for example, now.
02:06I'm an upstairs bumper shop, you know.
02:09Yes, I've had Mrs. Gladway in my way.
02:11Never.
02:12And the next thing I know, I find I have a child in one of my classrooms.
02:20And before the bell, too, Mrs. Pearce.
02:23And that is against the rules, you know.
02:25Oh, well, why don't you chuck him out, then?
02:27Oh, no, no, no, no, I can't do that.
02:29It's none of my business, you see.
02:30Well, what are you rabbiting on about, then?
02:32Ah, well, now, Mrs. Pearce, you see, I am administrative, you see.
02:34Oh, what a load of...
02:36That is educational.
02:38Mrs. Arbjee, I was just saying,
02:41you want to take...
02:42Yes, well, off you go, then.
02:46Oh.
02:49Oh, I don't know.
02:50Caught you.
03:05Hey, what?
03:07Grounding your club in a bunker.
03:10Come again?
03:11You know, golf.
03:13Just a joke.
03:16Well, you and I must have very different humours,
03:18because I don't think that's funny at all.
03:20How's the wife?
03:20Anyway, I don't play golf.
03:25Golf's a snob's game, everyone knows that.
03:26All right, Potter, couldn't you meet me halfway?
03:28I know we had a bit of trouble in the past.
03:30In the past, yes.
03:32I'm talking about what you've done this morning.
03:35I've only been here 20 seconds.
03:37Anyway, school doesn't start for another half hour.
03:40Exactly.
03:42Then why have you put a boy in a classroom?
03:45Ah.
03:46Well, you see, I...
03:48I brought him in yesterday.
03:50Which was Sunday,
03:52and told him to sleep in the classroom overnight,
03:54so that you'd have something to grumble about today.
03:57Sarcasm is the most lowest form of wit.
03:59And anyway, my school's locked up over the weekend.
04:01All right, I'll chuck him out.
04:03Ah.
04:03It's that mad kid, Dunstable.
04:11Dunstable isn't mad.
04:12He's educationally sub-normal.
04:14Same thing.
04:15It isn't the same thing at all.
04:16People like Dunstable who are retarded need a bit of compassion,
04:19and throwing words around like mad...
04:21If he's retarded,
04:22he should go to a retarded school,
04:24shouldn't he?
04:25Exactly.
04:26He needs special training.
04:28That's my point.
04:29Mad kids do.
04:32I played football in the army, you know.
04:35Golf's a snobs game.
04:36Only snobs and pansies play golf.
04:40Four.
04:44Four.
04:44Oh, that bloody Mrs. Pearce.
04:58Now, come along, Dunstable.
04:59You know you should stay in the playground until the bell goes.
05:01I was.
05:02Only I'm cold, so I'm in here.
05:04Now, Dennis, it's no colder for you than it is for anybody else.
05:07It is?
05:08I ain't got no shirt.
05:12Well, where's it gone?
05:13Me dad wore it to his work.
05:16Well, couldn't your mother iron another one?
05:18No.
05:19Why?
05:19She's in hospital.
05:21Oh.
05:23Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Dennis.
05:24Why?
05:25She's not well.
05:28Well, aren't there any other shirts in the house?
05:30See, we used them all up,
05:32and me dad said,
05:33well, I ain't washing them,
05:34I'm bunging them in the laundrette.
05:36And then he went for a drink,
05:38and when he'd come home this morning,
05:40he'd forgot what laundrette it was.
05:41Oh, he only had one shirt left,
05:43so he had it for his work.
05:49All right, Dennis, you stay there.
05:50I'll, er...
05:52I'll see if I can rustle something up from the staff room.
05:55You'd be a cowboy if you rustled, sir.
05:58Oh, morning, Fancho.
06:06Didn't see you sitting there.
06:07Morning, Smitty.
06:11Good morning, everyone.
06:13Good morning, Miss Ewell.
06:15Good morning, Mr. Price.
06:18Aye, but it's not, is it?
06:19Heard the grapevine, have you?
06:21I detest that expression.
06:22Well, a great dollop of feated fruit has dropped off it.
06:26Rumour, is it, that the pollen of a polygophilus
06:28is coming back to school today?
06:30I can't abide that, boy.
06:32He bit me last term.
06:34He must have been put on probation again.
06:37I bled quite profusely.
06:39Wonder you never got rabies.
06:40Yeah.
06:41You know, when I was a young girl...
06:43Yes, Miss Ewell.
06:45When I was a young girl,
06:48I used to believe there was no such thing
06:49as a wholly evil child.
06:52And I continued to believe it
06:53until that boy came to Fenstreet.
06:56Index finger.
06:57It was a birthday present from my wife, too.
07:00What, your wife gave you a finger for your birthday?
07:02Don't be absurd, Price.
07:04My wife gave me a tie
07:06and my finger bled on it.
07:08In green and white stripes.
07:11Morning.
07:12Oh.
07:13Morning.
07:13Turn round, boy.
07:14Go home.
07:15Appapelegophilus is back.
07:17Appapelegophilus?
07:18I know that name from somewhere.
07:19So you should.
07:20It's in your register.
07:22Oh, yes.
07:23He was up before the juvenile courts
07:24for nicking cars the day I arrived.
07:26Never been seen since.
07:27What happened to him?
07:28Probation, presumably.
07:30Or he's on the run.
07:31Don't worry.
07:33I'll cope.
07:35He bit me.
07:38Mr. Hedges,
07:39what are you doing?
07:41Mr. Dunstable.
07:42Poor kid.
07:43He came to school without a shirt this morning.
07:44You know, I've got a theory about this school.
07:46What's that, Price?
07:47We've got to be closed down.
07:48There are more misfits here
07:50than in Holloway and Wandsworth put together.
07:52Ah, look, Price.
07:53Dunstable can't help being here, sen, you know.
07:54I'm not saying he can't.
07:56No more than little Apollon
07:57can help being one of the most inherently evil
07:59little thugs I've ever come across.
08:00The point is that both those boys
08:02should be at special schools.
08:03That's it.
08:05Miss Ewell,
08:06look, why don't we send Dunstable
08:07and Appapelegophilus to a special school?
08:10Signed for the football shirt, Mr. Hedges.
08:12Yes, but we could, couldn't we?
08:13Well, it says signature.
08:14Miss Ewell, you might at least give me
08:16the courtesy of listening to my idea.
08:18And you might display a little more respect
08:19to the assistant head.
08:21I'm sorry, I just think that a transfer
08:22is a very good idea.
08:24And one which was thought of
08:25whilst you were still at training college.
08:27Oh.
08:28Actually, there was a school open for Dunstable.
08:31It's a very nice place in Putney.
08:33At least he'd have learned how to earn his living there.
08:36Why is he still at Fenn Street then?
08:38Because of his bloody parents.
08:40Mixed company, Mr. Price.
08:41Well, that boy's father's enough to make you spit blood.
08:45As far as he's concerned,
08:46Dunstable is just stubborn and lazy.
08:47That's why he wouldn't sign for him to go.
08:49Well, what about Appapelegophilus?
08:51Oh, the G.L.C. has been examining his case.
08:56Oh, for the past three years.
08:59By the time we get him to a special school,
09:02he'd have done his first murder.
09:03Oh, bring it to me.
09:08Now, I can't go to school today.
09:10I told you once I...
09:10Now, go to school.
09:17Okay, now, finish.
09:18All right, enough.
09:19No more, right?
09:21How I look?
09:21Smart, eh?
09:23No, Apollon.
09:25Why don't you be good, old boy, huh?
09:29You pig, you daddy pig.
09:31Excuse me.
09:47That sound is for anti-incendiary purposes,
09:49not for stubborn old fags.
09:51Yes, hello.
09:52Forgive, please.
09:53I do not speak English good.
09:56I've just bring to school my sister.
09:59Oh?
09:59The naughty boy, but he's here.
10:02Now I go.
10:04Good day.
10:05Oi, Mr. Medit.
10:07You can't slope off like that.
10:09You know, there's still that matter of your dogging.
10:11Dog?
10:12I don't bring dog.
10:13Bring sister.
10:14Oh, falling back on the no-comprende English,
10:17are we now?
10:17Eh, I see.
10:18Oh, well, well, well.
10:19What are you then, an eye-tie?
10:20Signal me.
10:21You speak a little words, then I understand.
10:25Oh, look.
10:26Where are you from?
10:28Ah, Ethno Street.
10:31Ethno Street.
10:31Oh, I see.
10:33You're one of that Cypriot crew, are you?
10:35Yes, Cypriot.
10:37Yeah, there's nothing but Cypriots down there now, isn't there?
10:40You've turned that street into a right grotto.
10:43I'll have you know there used to be a Welkstall down Ethno Street.
10:47Ah, the dictionary.
10:48I look up Welkstall, then we talk more.
10:51But you must help.
10:52Help?
10:53Oh, I thought so.
10:54I thought so.
10:55Back sheesh, eh?
10:56That's what you're all after the minute you get off that boat, isn't it, eh?
10:59Welkstall's not here.
11:00An Englishman can't go under the labour no more, you know.
11:03And you know why?
11:03I'll tell you why.
11:04Because this place is packed out with a lot of fallen bastards like you.
11:07Yes.
11:08And you've no respect for property, have you?
11:09Coming over here buying houses, stamping out fags on floors.
11:12Poor Mrs. Pierce has got to get down on that floor and re-polish it.
11:14And her brother was wounded in Burma.
11:16Oh, you conveniently forget all that, don't you?
11:19Well, yeah.
11:20I've found something in a little book, have you?
11:22Yes.
11:23Yeah, what have you found, then?
11:24I find.
11:25Yeah, what have you found?
11:26I find a test.
11:28Oh, boy.
11:29But you shout for help, you know.
11:31All I say is help to speak English and you call Nicholas a bad word.
11:35Look, stand aside, old son, will you?
11:37Look, I'm going to go to the toilet.
11:38You call Nicholas a bad word once more.
11:41I've lost the word.
11:43What?
11:43Nicholas is dead.
11:45Oh, look, I'm really, I'm bursting on it.
11:48Blast!
11:51I've seen knives, you know.
11:53I was in the desert.
11:57Think it can frighten an old desert round with knives?
12:00Blast!
12:00For the last time, Abbott, I am not a karate expert.
12:12Well, what about when you dump Potter up in the playground?
12:15He slipped on his coke.
12:16Well, you'd better get a bag delivered up here, then, because you're going to need it if I'm a car he all starts.
12:20The boy's name is Apabellagopolis.
12:22And I won't have you or any other member of this class call him anything else.
12:26I'll call him something else if he comes in with me again.
12:28He thinks he can take anything he fancies, he does.
12:32Yes, well, that's not really what I meant, Sharon.
12:34It's just that it shows lack of consideration to use the name of a Greek Orthodox Archbishop as a nickname.
12:40Isn't that funny?
12:41Only last Sunday, Monsignor Sopworth came out with something like that.
12:44Oh, hallelujah.
12:46Your tongue will split in half if you blaspheme, Peter.
12:50All right, Maureen, this seems to be relevant to the subject of religious tolerance.
12:54Tell us what Monsignor Sopworth did say.
12:56Oh.
12:57Well, he said, seeing how this is the time of the great ecumenical movement,
13:03it mustn't take a mick out of other religions, even if they are wrong.
13:06Well, look, it don't matter whether Abbo's a Greek Orthodox or a Latter-day Adventurist.
13:14He's still a psycho.
13:15Don't be ridiculous, stuffy.
13:17Well, what else would you call a bloke what's set fire to the ATC Act just because he was a main corporal?
13:23Did he really?
13:24Yeah.
13:25What gets me is he'd only joined the day before.
13:29All right, all right, you've sidetracked me quite long enough.
13:31We'll get back to the English now.
13:33I'll deal with Epibellagophilus when the time arises.
13:36It's a riz, mate.
13:39It's a riz.
13:40Hold up.
14:10Stand up, Apobeligopheles, and get out of my classroom and knock on the door.
14:15And when I say come in, you may do so, and then explain where you've been.
14:18All right, Apobeligopheles, you may come in now.
14:42Apobeligopheles?
14:52What are you doing?
14:57I didn't know you'd organised a fire drill.
15:04I haven't, headmaster. It must be the real thing.
15:07What, the real thing? Oh, fire!
15:10Doris!
15:15Doris! Doris! Doris!
15:25Hey, hey, hey! Hey, Smitty!
15:27Hey, Smitty, come on, wake up! Wake up, Smitty!
15:29Come on, you mustn't miss this. With any luck,
15:31you're going to be burnt to the bloody grove.
15:37Ding, ding! Ding, ding!
15:39Bleeding false alarm.
15:40Yeah, you see, Oliver, come on, look, I'm flying out of his rubber plone.
15:44What a thing to say first, eh?
15:46Yeah, I'd have gone for me showing on holiday.
15:48Well, what I'd have done, I'd have grabbed old mother of you,
15:50or tied her up and left her to fry.
15:52Hey, dog, she's stronger than you are.
15:55No, she ain't, Eric. Not when I'm roused.
15:57Yay!
15:59You told me washing was sharring.
16:03Well, I had to say, didn't I, Sha? It was an emergency.
16:05It wasn't till you started, Andy.
16:07Yay!
16:08Yay, Abby!
16:11All right, all right. Settle down.
16:14Let's apply ourselves to the glamour of clause analysis.
16:19Where is Apobeligopolis?
16:22He's not here, cos that's where he sits.
16:25Thank you very much, Dunstable.
16:35Oh, look!
16:48Now, look, Apobeligopolis, I'm going to be very charitable
16:51and assume that you couldn't come into the classroom last time
16:54because the fire alarm went.
16:56So get out of my classroom.
16:58Knock on the door, as I told you to do before.
17:01Oh, no.
17:14Yay!
17:15Come on, boy, you're totally safe!
17:18Yay!
17:19Yay!
17:20Yay!
17:21Yay!
17:22Yay!
17:23Yay!
17:24Yay!
17:26Yay!
17:27Yay!
17:28Yay!
17:29Yay!
17:30Yay!
17:32Yay!
17:33Yay!
17:34Yay!
17:37Yay!
17:38Yay!
17:39Yay!
17:40Yay!
17:41Yay!
17:42Yay!
17:43Yay!
17:49denied.
17:49Well, it's not my idea of a prank.
17:51Let me tell you, it costs a lot of money every time
17:52an appliance leaves the station.
17:53But would you sooner we set fire to the place now
17:55just to make it worthy of your while?
17:57Cracks.
17:58By only suggestion.
17:59I can only repeat that we're very sorry about the whole incident.
18:03Two incidents?
18:04Yes.
18:05If it makes you feel any better, we've caught the boy responsible.
18:08Well, I hope he gets a damn good hiding.
18:11I'm sure the headmaster will know what to do.
18:14All right, Hedges.
18:16Leave this to me.
18:18Now, you did sound the fire alarm?
18:22Yes, sir.
18:23Twice?
18:24Yes, sir.
18:27Deliberately?
18:28Yes, sir.
18:30Then we shall have to consider the question of punishment.
18:35Please, sir, may I say something, sir?
18:37Yes, Abapelagophilus, you may.
18:39Sir, I feel so very, very guilty and sorry to have caused you all this trouble, sir.
18:44Because I know that the masters have been so very kind with me, sir,
18:47and I'm afraid I've let them down, sir.
18:53Yes, sir.
18:55Abapelagophilus, this is going to hurt.
18:57But realising your crime and being sorry for it, that is your punishment.
19:03You will have to bear it, my boy.
19:06Oh, I try, sir, I try.
19:07Oh, hell's bells!
19:12Hedges, I know what that little outburst meant.
19:15You don't consider that I've punished the boy, do you?
19:17No, sir, I don't.
19:18The Mikado, Hedges.
19:20Pardon?
19:20My object all sublime I shall achieve in time
19:24To make the punishment fit the crime
19:26The punishment fit the crime, you see.
19:28Well, he ought to have been run over by a fire engine, then.
19:31I am alluding to, um, to sublime judgment, Hedges.
19:35Sir, he is getting away with it.
19:37A source of innocent merriment, of innocent merriment.
19:41Oh, I wish I could sing.
19:43It was Heddle Nash I saw.
19:44What a performance.
19:45No, no, no.
19:46It was Owen Brannigan.
19:47Sir, we are talking about Abapelagophilus.
19:49I am perfectly well aware of what we're talking about, Hedges.
19:52And I do not very much care for your attitude.
19:54I'm sorry, sir, but this boy has behaved like a lout today.
19:57He deserves a caning, at least.
19:59That brutality was Hitler's particular weapon.
20:05It is not mine, Hedges.
20:06I'm sorry, sir, I'm not in favour of caning,
20:08But in this particular case...
20:10Particular?
20:10Yes.
20:11Hedges, do you know that this boy is a Greek Cypriot?
20:15Yes.
20:16Then I put it to you
20:17That you are allowing your judgment to be influenced by racial prejudice.
20:21Oh, not all that all over the game.
20:23Unhappily, yes.
20:24And we will flesh the matter out here and now.
20:26All right, sir, but wouldn't it be better
20:28Get rid of Abapelagophilus and then we can talk about it.
20:31There you are, my dear boy.
20:33You see, when you choose, you can be as rational as the next man.
20:36Right, Abapelagophilus.
20:37Abapelagophilus, where the hell's he gone now?
20:39I thought I like about this staff room at lunchtime.
21:01The constant hum of intellectual inquiry.
21:04Price!
21:04Hang on, vicar.
21:06Oh, sodium plus acid equals explosion.
21:09I've just discovered that two pints of bitter and cooked Seward pudding has the same effect.
21:14Oh!
21:15Ah, that's better.
21:17Price, do you know what the headmaster's just done with Abapelagophilus?
21:21Yeah, I got him to confess, gave him a pat on the top of his pointed little head
21:24and probably slipped him a couple of tickets to the fireman's ball.
21:28Yeah, something like that.
21:29How did you know?
21:30Because that's what he always does.
21:31Look, if you're going to dish out corporate punishment, do it yourself with the back of a gym slipper.
21:34I always do.
21:36Yeah, well, I feel more like capital punishment with that little tyke.
21:39That's better.
21:40Oh, you do descend from the clouds after all.
21:42Price, when I get hold of him, I'm, I...
21:44No, that's wrong.
21:47Ah, ah, ah, you're off again.
21:49No.
21:50How long have I known that boy, Price?
21:52Oh, God.
21:52One morning.
21:53One morning and I jump straight to the conclusion that the answer is to beat him.
21:56I should be asking myself why he behaves the way he does.
21:59I should be trying to help him.
22:00I'll throw up in a minute.
22:02There must be some psychological reason why he behaves the way he does.
22:06He probably doesn't get enough affection at home.
22:08I'm sure there was a tambourine around here somewhere.
22:12Mixed company, Mr. Price.
22:16I never said a word.
22:18Your trousers.
22:20Oh, showing my medals, am I?
22:23I only did it to give her a bit of a thrill.
22:27I've got it!
22:29Mr. Hedges, do the dawnings of your ideas always have to be so noisy.
22:33I'm sorry, Michelle, but I know why a propellicophilus behaves the way he does.
22:37Now, the boy is a Greek Cypriot, right?
22:39He's got limited English vocabulary.
22:41Result?
22:42Frustration arising from his inability to communicate.
22:45Solution?
22:46Extra English classes.
22:47Why don't we set up special English courses for immigrant children with a language problem?
22:52Read.
22:54Special English courses for immigrant children with a lang...
22:58Quite.
23:00Quite.
23:00Again, it's already been thought of.
23:03Well, does it go then?
23:04Of course not.
23:06We've sent at least four of those to his parents, asking for their cooperation, and received nothing in reply.
23:12Well, I must be off.
23:15Playing hooky?
23:16I'm going to a teaching conference, deputising for Mr. Cromwell.
23:23Good afternoon.
23:25There she goes, a symphony in tweed.
23:27I bet she even wears tweed drawers.
23:29I just thought, I wonder where the factory is that turns them out.
23:35Well, I'm off.
23:36What are you going to do?
23:37I'm going to have another stab at Upper Bellagophilus.
23:39Well, use a knife.
23:40And I have one for me.
23:41You and the school football team, then, Lansdorville?
23:45No, don't.
23:46Then what for?
23:46You've got football shirt on.
23:47Ain't you got no proper shirt, huh?
23:49Leave him alone, you.
23:50I know.
23:50Bobby Moore want you an England team, huh?
23:52I'm only wearing it.
23:54Get off.
23:54Why don't you stop aggravating Macquarie off?
23:57I know.
23:57Your mum, she don't give you no shirt, huh?
23:59She can't, can she?
24:01She's in hospital.
24:02And I know why.
24:03You make her ill because you're so stupid.
24:04No, I never.
24:05I didn't.
24:07Oh, God, no.
24:08Go on, Eric.
24:08I'm going to see him in your face, Eric.
24:10Go on.
24:11You want it sitting down?
24:12What?
24:13I won't for you want to fight.
24:14It was just a joke, wasn't it?
24:16Well, one more little joke with my mate, then.
24:18Yeah.
24:19And you won't have no teeth to laugh with.
24:22Because they'll be pushed right down the back of your big mouth, right?
24:27Right.
24:28Just as well with his privet.
24:35What's wrong?
24:38All right, what's been going on?
24:40Going on, sir.
24:40Oh, nothing, sir.
24:42We was just like all of God, but the thought of two periods of environmental studies.
24:47Really?
24:49Ah.
24:50I know.
24:51Get out of the room.
24:52No.
24:52No, I don't want you to go up with Bellagophilus.
24:55I want to talk to you.
24:56Sit down.
24:59Now, Apollon, I want you to be happy at school.
25:03Why?
25:03Why?
25:05Well, we'll talk about that later, privately.
25:07I just want you to take this home and get it signed by your parents.
25:11I already had four.
25:12I don't take.
25:14Why?
25:15Because you want to put me in class with the little kids.
25:17You want to make joke of me, huh?
25:18Now, don't be silly.
25:23I'm sure there are children of all different ages in these classes.
25:26You don't like to sip it.
25:28You hate to sip it, huh?
25:29That's it.
25:29No, that's nonsense.
25:30I want to help you.
25:32I don't bloody take.
25:35Oh, yes, you do.
25:37Okay, I bloody take.
25:39Now, don't you dare walk out of this class.
25:42You get stuffed.
25:43Karate!
25:44Karate!
25:44You come back here and apologise.
25:46You hit me.
25:46Oh.
25:47Ah, don't be silly.
25:48You're not hurt.
25:49But you bloody hurt.
25:50You bloody hurt so good, you're bloody dead.
25:52Uncle Nicholas.
25:53He'll call me and get you tonight.
25:55Oh, sir.
26:01Here.
26:02Have a fag.
26:04Thank you very much.
26:06Oh, put them away.
26:08Look, you sit down for a while, sir, and then ring for the police, eh?
26:12Now, why should I do that, Maureen?
26:14Because if he says his uncle Nicholas will be waiting for you tonight, he will be.
26:20This was very kind of you, Maureen, but I'm hardly likely to be panicked by the threat of somebody's uncle.
26:26I would be.
26:27You would be, would you, huh?
26:29You ain't seen Nicholas.
26:31He's like a gorilla.
26:33You really think you can?
26:35It's family, innit?
26:36Look, Nicholas went all the way up to Newcastle the other week to do some fellow that only insulted a second cousin or something.
26:43Did he?
26:43Yeah.
26:43Straight up, sir.
26:45I mean, the only bloke who's ever handled me myself's big brother, Monty, and he had to use his loading hook to do it and all.
26:50You know your trouble.
27:06You don't take enough exercise.
27:07Oh, God.
27:09Oh, sorry.
27:10Sorry.
27:10Sorry, Teddies.
27:13Old gas bag.
27:15Can't help it, boy.
27:16No, no, no.
27:16Cromwell, he trapped me in the corridor.
27:18We had the whole of the gondoliers this time.
27:20One night I wanted to get away a bit early.
27:22Why?
27:23Nothing.
27:24I just want to go home, that's all.
27:25All right, don't shout.
27:26What's got your feathers ruffled anyway?
27:28Nothing.
27:32Price.
27:32Who are those two?
27:43Oh, dear.
27:43This Uncle Nicholas, the butcher of Aethnol Street, and one of his choppers.
27:47Who is he after, I wonder?
27:50Me.
27:50Oh, good night.
27:54Look, Price, I just thought we might walk home together.
27:56Well, you've got another thing coming, eh, Mark?
27:59Thank you very much, Price.
28:51Oh!
28:57See, he's come here, then, sir.
28:59I did notice somebody in the, er, that would be, er, that would be Niklas, would it?
29:06That's him.
29:07Yes, I thought he would.
29:08Well, er, what are you two still doing here?
29:11Well, we couldn't just shoot off, leave you to be thumped up.
29:14Thanks very much.
29:16We know the best way to handle yourself with Niklas.
29:18Yeah.
29:18No, I can't accept.
29:20Oh, sure can.
29:21We're 5Cs, all the same form, innit?
29:24Duffy, Craven, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this, but ask yourself this question.
29:30What sort of an example would I be setting if I, if I asked 5C to fight for me?
29:35Fight?
29:36We think we are mad?
29:37No.
29:38We want a tango in Niklas.
29:40We just come to tell you the best way to take a through-in-over with the least possible
29:43internal damage.
29:44You know, kidneys and spleens and that.
29:47Yeah.
29:48Spleens?
29:50Right, here's what you do.
29:51First off, when he puts you down, stay down.
29:56Then, when the boot comes in, knees up, guard the cobblers.
30:02Then, arms over the face, elbows went in the side.
30:05See?
30:06Oh, well, what can I do from there?
30:07Nothing.
30:08Just hope he gets tired and moves on.
30:09Good night, Chief.
30:11Good night.
30:12Good luck.
30:18Calm.
30:20When you go down, stay down.
30:24Hands over the face to guard the cobblers.
30:29I'll be right.
30:31He's running through the tide.
30:39Ah, no good.
30:41It must have rolled under something.
30:44I'm taking the wife to the sound of music tonight.
30:50Cholly good.
30:51That is, I was assuming my school premises are clear by the stipulated time, which was five
30:58minutes ago.
31:00Hmm?
31:01Actually, I had intended to stay on for a couple of minutes, do some extra work, Potter.
31:10Out of the question.
31:11The rules state that the premises must be clear before the schoolkeeper, e.g. me, you
31:16see, can go on to his own personal life.
31:20There's a couple of fellas waiting at the gates to bash me up.
31:23What, at my school gates?
31:24Yes, have a look for yourself.
31:25Larger's life.
31:26Larger's life.
31:26We'll soon find out about that, won't we?
31:31Here, it's that Niklas.
31:37But it's all right, he's not on the school premises.
31:39He's just out in the road, you know.
31:41He's in the playground.
31:42Now, look, my film starts at half past six.
31:44Now, come on, if you want.
31:45Very much.
31:45And you're going to see Julie Andrews.
31:48Well, at least she doesn't start race riots.
31:50Climb every morning, cross every street.
32:07Yeah.
32:08Well, you're going to see Julie.
32:10Come on.
32:10Hey, Julie.
32:19Come on.
32:23Come on.
32:24Come on.
32:24Come on.
32:25Come on.
32:26Come on.
32:28Come on.
32:33Come on.
32:34You, Hedges!
32:52Oh, hello.
32:53How do you do?
32:55Oh.
32:59Yes.
33:00Sorry, that's all Greek to me.
33:02I have come for you to kill my sister.
33:05I don't know your sister.
33:07You do? You lie!
33:09I don't. I don't know any Cypriot girls. I wish I did. I mean, no, no.
33:13Apollon, my sister.
33:15No, no. No, Apollon's your nephew.
33:18What?
33:19Nephew.
33:20Nephew? Not sister?
33:23No, no, no.
33:24Thank you. I have come for you to kill my nephew.
33:29Still not quite right.
33:30Is it right?
33:32Is honour!
33:33No, no. I mean the, uh, the English. English isn't right.
33:37You see, um, uh, uh, oh, ne-
33:40Ah, right!
33:41You school mister!
33:43You teach what I mean to say!
33:47Right.
33:48Uh, right. Would you care to, um,
33:50what you're trying to say is that you have come to kill, uh, yes, good, uh, kill me for your nephew.
34:11You see, uh, n-e, uh, f-p-h-u, here.
34:16Nephew.
34:17Nephew.
34:17Right. Uh, uh, nephew, nephew is in fact masculine.
34:23Masculine.
34:24Uh, masculine. Uh, that, that's, um...
34:25Um, masculine is, um, ho!
34:31See, uh, masculine, uh, uh, masculine, um, is ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
34:38Ah, uh, masculine!
34:43Right, good, good.
34:44And, and, uh, sister is feminine.
34:48Feminine.
34:49Oh, dear.
34:51Uh, yes, uh, feminine is, uh...
34:54You see? Feminine is, uh, you know, uh, feminine.
35:00Yeah.
35:00Oh, no.
35:02Um, uh, feminine.
35:04Ah, feminine!
35:08No, I won't have a...
35:09That's very awful, you can't.
35:11Ah, then I say, uh, I have come to kill me.
35:17Uh, no, no, you.
35:19You. Uh, this is you, you see.
35:21Uh, you have come to kill me.
35:24I'm afraid.
35:26Uh, let's try it together.
35:27Uh, you.
35:28You.
35:29Have come to kill me.
35:32Good.
35:33And I.
35:35Excuse me, may I?
35:36I.
35:37I.
35:37Have come to kill you.
35:40Good.
35:40We.
35:42Have come to kill him.
35:45Good.
35:45And he.
35:47Has come to kill us.
35:50Very good.
35:50Ah, and now I understand.
35:55I have come to kill you.
35:58That's right, sir.
36:00Ha, ha, ha, ha.
36:01Ha, ha, ha, ha.
36:02Ha, ha, ha, ha.
36:03It's a nut so easy now.
36:05You nice fellow.
36:07Wouldn't for a nice fellow send a bad letter.
36:10I didn't send any bad letter.
36:12You see, you nice fellow, but you still lying.
36:15These are one.
36:16You say many bad things about Cypriot people.
36:20Family Ababalacophilus.
36:22Even a Cypriot haircutter.
36:25Oh, didn't you read it?
36:26No, Nicholas.
36:27You don't read English.
36:28Oh, I see.
36:29And his parents don't either.
36:31No.
36:32Well, don't you see what the little...
36:34Bastard.
36:35Don't you see what he's done?
36:42He says bad things.
36:44You see, there are no bad things.
36:47I'll read it to you.
36:48No, no, Cypriot, you'll read English.
36:50He speak to me in Greek.
36:52Eloino.
36:53Eloino.
36:54Ah, Mr. Schoolmissus.
36:59What can I say?
37:02Uh, Cypriot.
37:05He say many bad things.
37:08I know.
37:09You and me.
37:10Yes.
37:11We catch Apollo.
37:12Yes.
37:12Beat him.
37:13Beat him.
37:13Good.
37:14Lord.
37:15I think I'll just settle for a drink.
37:17Ah, yes.
37:18We good friends now.
37:21Who do?
37:21Much good.
37:23Ha, ha.
37:23Ha, ha.
37:25Ha, ha.
37:28You can't front and all.
37:30Does it rot, you know?
37:31Potter.
37:32Stop babbling and open this door immediately.
37:34I'm fully on.
37:35Yes.
37:36I didn't intend to come back this evening.
37:37It's just as well I did.
37:40Oh, monsieur.
37:41Potter.
37:41Are you drunk?
37:42No, no, no.
37:43It's them Cypriots.
37:44They're everywhere.
37:45What Cypriots?
37:46Oh, yes.
37:47I've come to kill you.
37:55You have come to kill us.
37:58We have come to kill you.
38:00We have come to kill you.
38:03We have come to kill us.
38:05We have come to kill you.
38:06We have come to kill you.
38:06We have come to kill you.
38:07We have come to kill you.
38:07We have come to kill you.
38:08We have come to kill you.
38:08We have come to kill you.
38:09We have come to kill you.
38:09We have come to kill you.
38:10We have come to kill you.
38:10We have come to kill you.
38:11We have come to kill you.
38:11We have come to kill you.
38:12We have come to kill you.
38:13We have come to kill you.
38:14We have come to kill you.
38:14We have come to kill you.
38:15We have come to kill you.
38:16We have come to kill you.
38:17We have come to kill you.
38:18We have come to kill you.
38:19We have come to kill you.
38:20We have come to kill you.
38:21We have come to kill you.
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