- 2 days ago
First broadcast 13th November 2003.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Rich Hall
Julia Morris
Peter Serafinowicz
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Rich Hall
Julia Morris
Peter Serafinowicz
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Hello and welcome to QI, where fools rush in and angels suddenly remember they have a prior engagement.
00:08Tonight I'm delighted to welcome four people who make the three wise monkeys look like they might have been a
00:13better bet, quite honestly.
00:14They are Rich Hall, Julia Morish, Peter Serafinowicz and Alan Davis.
00:24And unlike the Affirmation Monkeys, all our contestants are willing and able to make a noise.
00:30Rich goes, Julia goes, Peter goes, and Alan goes, and I go like a belt-fed mortar.
00:49Now, the rules are simple. Points are given and points are taken away.
00:54They're taken away for answers that are both obvious and wrong, and they're given not so much for being correct
00:59as for being interesting.
01:00Their level of interestingness is impartially determined by a demographically selected customer service focus consultancy broken down by age and
01:08sex, i.e. me.
01:11Because there is no one more broken down by age and sex.
01:16So, aviation, ladies and gentlemen. In the words of John F. Kennedy, all men can fly, but sadly, only in
01:24one direction.
01:25For those of you who are nervous of flying, here's something quite interesting.
01:29Nobody really understands why aircrafts stay up in the air.
01:33There are five leading rival theories of aerodynamics, none of which precisely agrees with any other.
01:40Fortunately, it doesn't really matter.
01:42Automatic control systems on modern airliners are so sophisticated, it's said that by the year 2010,
01:48today's flight deck crew of three will be replaced by a single human pilot and a dog.
01:54The job of the pilot will be to feed the dog.
01:57The dog is there to bite the pilot if he tries to touch anything.
02:01So, fingers on the buzzers, please, to start this round on air travel.
02:09So, who invented the aeroplane?
02:13It's Orville and Wilbur Wright.
02:14Oh, I'm sorry to say, I'm very sorry to say, that that is the wrong answer.
02:22Is it the wrong brothers?
02:24It's not the wrong brothers. Very good, Peter. Thank you very much.
02:27No, John Springfellow of Chard in Somerset successfully flew the first engine-powered aeroplane in 1848.
02:36It was a model aeroplane, but it was an aeroplane. It went quite a long way.
02:39The Wright brothers, from your lovely country of the United States of so on, they flew for less than 12
02:47seconds a journey that actually would have covered less than half the wingspan of a Boeing jumbo jet, Orville and
02:55Wilbur.
02:55What about the hot air balloon?
02:58Hot air balloon that I think is usually ceded to the Montgolfier brothers, isn't it?
03:02I would think that would have been before the plane.
03:04It was, it was. It was in the 18th century.
03:06Didn't the Chinese invent the hot air balloon in, like, six, six...
03:10Stop harping on about the wrong brothers.
03:15The Chinese invented a lot of things. We may, we may indeed come to some of the Chinese inventions later
03:20on in the program.
03:21Darts. Darts.
03:22Football.
03:23And, of course, China.
03:26It sounds, it sounds odd, but it's true.
03:29What struck me about your statement was that he was from a place called Chard.
03:32Mmm. Chard.
03:34It's not...
03:35That sounds like the kind of town you'd want to get away from.
03:38Yes.
03:39It's hard.
03:39Yes, he did run away and he moved to the village of Badly Burned in Dawson.
03:45Well, let's hear it for good old string fellow then.
03:48So, the next question is, uh, why would anyone have mad, bad, fat, sad old git on their luggage?
03:56Who wants to answer that?
03:57Yeah.
03:58Uh, they would have a very dodgy travel agent.
04:01A rude travel agent.
04:03Who, they would have been trying, who would have been trying to get them from, uh, Madrid via, uh, um,
04:09Baden-Baden.
04:11Oh, bad, bad.
04:12Well, you, I'd give you five, uh, for getting the, uh, the thrust of it, because the answer is, uh,
04:17that they are all airport luggage codes, uh, which means they would have recently, in fact, have visited Madrid, which
04:22is mad.
04:23Bossier City, Louisiana.
04:25Oh.
04:26Which is bad.
04:26You're a Louisiana, aren't you?
04:27It's called Bossier City.
04:28Bossier, I beg it's, I beg it's appalling and insignificant.
04:31They all go like that.
04:33They all go like, yeah, that's, mm-hmm, Bossier City, yeah.
04:37They've got their own.
04:38Oh, yeah, that's right, mm-hmm.
04:42It's a very Cajun.
04:43It's hard to imagine someone in Bossier City becoming a professor of fine arts, isn't it?
04:46Oh, no, you wouldn't see that.
04:47Because it, it is an old thing, but, I mean, if you wanted to talk about, um, you know, Watto,
04:51or, or, or, or Corbie, or, um, or something.
04:55Water, yeah, that, we're talking about water.
04:57They were sort of, like, crabbed, yeah.
04:59You wouldn't believe someone, would you say, you know, say, ah, I think he was a fabulous painter, his years
05:04of light was amazing.
05:05You know, you just wouldn't sort of buy it, would you?
05:08No, no, you wouldn't.
05:09It's hard to have any credibility in the South, unless you do anything other than play a washboard with spoons.
05:14Yeah.
05:16Which is an art in itself.
05:17Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
05:18So, we've got Fresno, California, is fat, for some strange reason, um, and Safford, Arizona, is sad, S-A-D,
05:26um, Old Town, Maine, is old, um, and, uh, Guiter, Tanzania, is git, uh, there are almost 19,500 airports
05:37around the world, and every single one of them has one of these three-letter luggage, um, appellations, so the
05:43shortcode for Butler, Missouri,
05:45Missouri, for example, is bum, uh, Sioux City is sucks, uh, and I hesitate to mention fuckyoko in Japan, uh,
05:54but I can mention, because it's not what you think, it's actually fuck.
05:59Uh, Julia, Julia, what are Madonna's plans for the prettiest airport in the world?
06:33Oh, my God.
06:34Oh, my God.
06:35Oh, my God.
06:36Oh, my God.
06:36Oh, my God.
07:03Yeah, she's like a famous weekend place.
07:04Well, it'd be disturbing her view of shooting all those birds and stuff that they shoot on the weekends.
07:08I think, yeah, it's the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows, I think, is putting her off her
07:12stroke.
07:13Um, we know what her, uh, uh, we know what her airline would be called a bit, like a Virgin
07:18Airways one.
07:18Oh, yeah.
07:20Sorry about that.
07:20I'm just, I'm just showing off that I've heard of a pop song, and I'm very excited.
07:25Good. So, moving on. The largest aircraft carrier in the world is the USS Abraham Lincoln.
07:31It has a deck area of four and a half acres and is the world's largest vehicle of any kind.
07:36What is the name of the world's smallest aircraft carrier?
07:40Oh, yes.
07:41Hi.
07:42Is it called the HMS?
07:44No.
07:46You're trying to get your own back.
07:48Anymore?
07:49There's nothing clever about large aircraft carriers. Nothing clever at all.
07:53If you, well, Americans make things that are very, very big. Which nation makes things that are very, very, very,
07:58very small?
07:58Japanese-y!
07:59Japanese, right.
08:01Japanese, thank you, yes.
08:03Japanese. I apologize to everybody Japanese watching.
08:07Um, any thoughts?
08:09It's a bonsai carrier.
08:11It's sort of...
08:12If you like.
08:13Tiny, tiny little bonsai carrier.
08:16Let's talk a little bit about Japanese.
08:18I am Julia-chan.
08:19I am Shigoto-Hakai-dou, isn't it?
08:22Well, that's got to be worth five points.
08:25Can you tell us what that means?
08:27Oh, I just said that my name is Julia and I used to live and work on the northern island
08:30of Japan called Hokkaido.
08:32Very good indeed.
08:33I know!
08:34Very good.
08:34Good milk.
08:36I didn't...
08:38Really good milk because I've got really good grass up on the northern island of Japan.
08:43The cows are getting no credit there.
08:45I know.
08:46I don't know if it's the grass.
08:49Oh, please.
08:52Really.
08:53There's a little bit more to it than that.
08:54I'm not involved.
08:57But I always understood that the Japanese...
09:00One of the things they found most repulsive about us was that we smelt of dairy products.
09:04Yeah.
09:05We thought they smelt of fish and they thought we smelt of sour milk and sort of things.
09:08Because they...
09:09We didn't smell it in each other because we're so used to the smell of fermented dough, sort of curds
09:13and...
09:19The smallest aircraft carrier in the world is actually the Mitsubishi Shogun, as it's known.
09:22In this country, although around the rest of the world, it's known as the Pajero, except in Spain, where Pajero
09:26means one who fiddles with himself.
09:30He looks like a Pajero in the sea.
09:35Even as we speak, he's...
09:39This joystick is incredibly close to my meditation.
09:44Oh, dear.
09:48And, er...
09:49He'll never get out of there, will he?
09:51He'll have to get some butter in.
09:54He'll never have the last life.
09:55He will smell of dairy products.
10:00It doesn't float, but it has a twin engine.
10:03It's a one-man, well, what they call a Cree-Cree stunt aircraft.
10:07It can take off from its specially adapted roof by catapult.
10:10It was first demonstrated by Tim Senior of the British...
10:15...aero-super-Battics team in 1997.
10:17Super-Battics?
10:18Super-Battics.
10:20Super-Battics, yeah.
10:20Super-Battics is better than any other Batics.
10:23It's a Super-Battics.
10:24It's not a normal Batics.
10:25Oh, yeah.
10:28Hey!
10:31Now, lastly, was it a good idea for airlines to ban smoking?
10:35Yeah, it probably was.
10:37Why would you say that?
10:38Yeah, you know, they stunk up the place.
10:43No, that's not true.
10:45Although, I suppose if you looked at it on paper, no, they probably would be doing better financially if they
10:50hadn't banned smoking.
10:51No, that's not true neither.
10:53Well, what the f*** do I know?
10:54I don't even know who invented a plane.
10:57I don't even know why you're talking to me.
11:00I have nipples, Steve.
11:02Can you milk me?
11:08It wasn't a bad idea.
11:10Well, the question is, it was almost certainly a bad idea.
11:13It was a lousy idea, in fact, because when smoking was allowed, the cabin air was completely replaced with fresh
11:18air every three minutes.
11:20And now the airlines save money.
11:22They save up to 6% of their fuel bills by using a mixture of fresh and recycled air.
11:27And SARS.
11:28Yeah, using under half the amount of fresh air needed for comfort, increasing the amount of carbon dioxide in the
11:34cabin, causing dizziness and nausea and allowing viruses to thrive.
11:39Passengers think that because they can't smell smoke, the air is fresher.
11:42This is not so.
11:43Apart from anything else, it has dramatically increased the number of air rage incidents.
11:47One of the earliest reported incidents of air rage involved a passenger in first class, probably trying to take his
11:52mind off cigarettes by drinking too much.
11:55And he was refused another drink, and so he decided to lodge his displeasure and shat on top of the
12:00food trolley.
12:03So this is why I was a little sharp with you, Rich, because on a financial level, they've actually made
12:07money.
12:08So in that sense, you might say if you're a shell, it's a reasonably good idea.
12:11But it's a bad idea because the health of the passenger suffers enormously as a result of this.
12:15So let people smoke, the air gets scrubbed much better, people are in a better mood all round, and everything
12:21is increased.
12:21And then your taste buds are shot so you can actually eat shit for food.
12:24You can.
12:25Well, so with all that in mind, I would urge you to follow this advice from Hermione Gingold on the
12:30subject of airline meals.
12:32Anything that's white is sweet, anything that's brown is meat, anything that's grey, don't eat.
12:38Thanks.
12:46QI makes the modest claim that even the dullest things can be quite interesting if looked at in the right
12:51way.
12:51We take this challenge seriously enough to dedicate the next round to the apparently tedious subject of Alans.
12:58And not only dull, but quite possibly obsolete.
13:03Alan was the eighth most popular male name in England in 1944.
13:11It crashed out of the top 100 four years ago, shows no sign of returning.
13:16Is it because people have realised it's an anagram of anal?
13:20So, Alan, I should ask you, where do most of the world's Alans hang out?
13:28Live.
13:31Where is Alan the most popular name?
13:33If you like, yes.
13:35Alan'd.
13:38Yes.
13:39Very good.
13:42It's got to be worth five of somebody's points.
13:44Called Alan.
13:45Alan.
13:45I bought a CD the other day by someone called Alana Davis.
13:49Oh, really?
13:49Just because it looked a bit like my name.
13:52Isn't that pathetic?
13:53Well, there's Alana's Morissette, isn't there?
13:55I bought that as well.
13:55Did you buy that one as well?
13:57Alan is Morris.
13:59Oh.
14:02Morissette is a tiny dancer.
14:04Little hankies.
14:06I would think Alan means rock in Celtic mythology.
14:15Very good.
14:16I think it's somewhere, be like Scotland, or Wales, or Ireland, or England.
14:21No, you would think that.
14:24I'll give you some points for knowing that Alan is a Breton, Celtic word, for a pebble or rock.
14:31Because that is generally assumed.
14:32Rock, not a pebble.
14:35Possibly a boulder.
14:38Not a pebble.
14:39In my book of meanings of dull Christian names, it says, Alan, and it says, Stephen means a garment.
14:46Well, I think you'll find that when they invented the name, Alan, it was a boulder, and over time, it's
14:53like worn down.
14:54Perhaps now it's a little pebble, but a beautiful pebble that would skim really well across a flat.
15:02Well, I'll tell you the answer.
15:04You do get your points, though, I think, for knowing that Alan means rock or pebble.
15:08You'll actually find most of them not in any Celtic country, but on the Russian border in the northern Caucasus
15:13mountains,
15:13where the Alan tribe have lived since being driven there by the Huns in the 4th century.
15:19The Alans...
15:20That was a bad weekend.
15:21We still talk about that.
15:24You and Alan Corrin and Alan Bennett and Alan Parsons.
15:27We get together, we conference call.
15:31And if someone mentions the Huns, quite often there's a lull in the conversation, and we have to gather ourselves.
15:37Because the Alans were master horsemen who introduced the idea of chivalry to Europe,
15:42and may have inspired the stories of King Arthur and his knights.
15:45The great Pliny the Elder, however, takes...
15:48Pliny the Elder, who I know is a source of constant mental nourishment to you, Alan,
15:54he takes a very different view, firmly telling us that Alans are a race of bastard degenerates.
16:06He doesn't know anything at all.
16:08No.
16:09Is he the Roman one?
16:10I have to come clean myself.
16:11I mean, if Alans are going to be attacked, I will be there, in the queue, being herded onto the
16:15trains, too,
16:16because my father is an Alan.
16:17You see?
16:18There.
16:18So, there's a little bit of Alan in me.
16:20Is there any Alan in you?
16:21No.
16:22Do you want some?
16:27My name means...oh, it's rich.
16:29It means wealthy, opulent, with money, plutocratic.
16:32No.
16:33Rich? Doesn't rich mean that?
16:34No.
16:35No, it doesn't at all, Steve.
16:36Okay.
16:38It means aquarium gravel.
16:42My name, Peter, means rock.
16:44It certainly does.
16:45The rock upon which the church of our Lord and Saviour was built.
16:48Yeah.
16:49All these names mean rock.
16:51Honestly.
16:52When human beings first arose, there wasn't much to name things on.
16:56There was big rock, little rock, middle rock.
16:59Pebble, grit.
17:00So, but this is quite interesting, I think.
17:03And I think this is right.
17:04But you know you're saying Alan means rock or pebble.
17:06And there are two other words I can think of that mean that, that mean pebble.
17:12Calculus, I think, means literally pebble.
17:15And pessary, as well, I think, means pebble.
17:18Who are you that you know that?
17:20Well, calculus is because...
17:21Calculus is adding with pebbles.
17:23Yes, they used pebbles on abacuses and in ways of counting as owing and back and forth black, white pebbles
17:29and white pebbles.
17:29So we're only 200 years old in my country, we missed out on a lot of that stuff.
17:32I think, I did mention that they were also described by Pliny as a race of bastard degenerates.
17:40And Edgar Allan Poe, well he's an example really.
17:44He married his 13-year-old cousin.
17:47He indulged in drinking sprees that make Liam Gallagher look like Ned Flanders.
17:53And he died literally in a gutter in Baltimore in 1849.
17:57Yet he was also, of course, like so many Alans, a truly prophetic genius.
18:02Two years before he died, he wrote a long prose poem called Eureka,
18:06which anticipated one of the greatest discoveries of the 20th century by 80 years.
18:11What was it?
18:12He married his 13-year-old cousin and he lived a life of drinking.
18:15Yep.
18:16So he predicted Jerry Lee Lewis's career.
18:23He foresaw it in a prose poem.
18:26He foresaw it in prose poem.
18:27Called Great Balls of Fire.
18:30Stick to Great Balls of Fire because that's what...
18:32Meteor!
18:33His theory...
18:34Cigarettes!
18:34What's THE theory?
18:36THE theory!
18:37The Big Bang!
18:38The Big Bang!
18:39Thank you, I'll give you a point.
18:40Well done.
18:43Yes.
18:44Edgar Allan Poe believed that all matter had once been concentrated into a single particle,
18:49which then expanded to fill space.
18:51A theory not accepted by science until 1931.
18:54Eureka, his prose poem, goes on to predict the general theory of relativity,
18:58parallel universes and the structure of the atom.
19:01Pretty good going for a poem that doesn't even rhyme.
19:05You know the word rhyme?
19:07There's no word that actually rhymes with the word rhyme.
19:11Line.
19:11Time.
19:12Apart from that.
19:15Slime.
19:16Three.
19:17Rhyme.
19:18Orange.
19:20Lime.
19:21Uh, you know, if I had a Cajun man, I had an orange and dorrhange.
19:26What would they, what would they mean by dorrhange?
19:50Dorrhange.
19:51Woody Allen's real name was Allen's.
19:53A tiny fragment of a poem.
19:55Yeah, a fragment.
19:58A little devil.
20:00An Allen of a poem.
20:01But, Woody Allen, Woody Allen is by no means the Allen with the worst reputation in Hollywood.
20:06Who is, Rich, would you say?
20:08The Allen with the worst reputation in Hollywood.
20:11Um, it's Allen, Big Al, Allenson.
20:17So taken by his Celtic Breton background that he, he killed a lot of people with rocks.
20:25In Hollywood.
20:25Would it help if I told you his name?
20:27Oh, I think I know what it is.
20:29Yeah?
20:29Is it Allen Smithy?
20:30Yes.
20:31Yeah.
20:31Oh, ten points to you.
20:32Well done.
20:33Very good.
20:34What's he done?
20:35No.
20:35Well, Peter, explain.
20:36Well, I think this is what it is.
20:38When a director directs a film and, like, say if the studio interfere and they, they re-edit
20:42it and the director disowns the film, they can choose to put Allen Smithy instead of their,
20:47their real name.
20:48Absolutely right.
20:49Absolutely right.
20:50Yes.
20:52Allen Smithy is the name used when directors disown a film.
20:54Either because they've lost control of the final cut or because it's simply too awful
20:58to admit to.
20:59Smithy's oeuvre includes such classics as Hobgoblins 2, Boggy Creek 3, Hellraiser 4 and most famously
21:06Dune, where he co-directed with David Lynch.
21:10So, very well done.
21:11How did you hear about that?
21:12You just, just knew.
21:13I don't, well, Tony Kaye did that.
21:16Ah.
21:16Tried to do that.
21:17With American History X.
21:18Yeah.
21:19Yeah.
21:19And I never saw American History X because I, er, I didn't see any of the first nine.
21:24You know, so, er.
21:27Oh, you literate fellow.
21:29Now, The Boy on a Dolphin isn't a Smithy film, but it did star on the very short matinee.
21:37Alan Ladd.
21:37Yes.
21:38Another half point to take you up to a full one point.
21:41You've got two splendid intrusions.
21:44And I'll, Sophie Loren was in it.
21:45Very good.
21:46What can you tell me about?
21:46I've actually seen it.
21:48And what can you tell me about the making of the film that's quite interesting?
21:54There's no actual dolphins or boys.
21:57It's, er.
21:58He's really short.
22:00It's quite, stands on a box or she.
22:03They don't dig and try to dodge for it.
22:05Five to you.
22:06She had to stand and walk about in a trench.
22:08You know, the interesting thing about Alan Ladd was, he was only, er, four foot three,
22:13but it was all his legs that were short.
22:16Like, his trunk was normal.
22:18So, when he sat down, he was actually taller than most other people.
22:21Is that true?
22:21Absolutely.
22:22But when he stood, yeah, they had to put, put him on a little apple crate.
22:26I never know with you.
22:27That's what's so worrying.
22:28No.
22:29It's absolutely true.
22:31How mad was to recall working with Sophia, the random boy and the dolphin,
22:35that working with her was like being bombarded by watermelons.
22:38Um, seems like that.
22:44For the sake of our audience who hadn't quite got that image.
22:47Thank you so much.
22:49Um, as, er, Woody Allen and Mr. Konigsberg once pointed out,
22:53sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right
22:58woman.
22:58Um, now, lastly, on the subject of Allens, what would you do with a pair of Allens?
23:04An Australian should know this in a way because it's one of the particular ways of speaking Australia shares with
23:09Britain,
23:10or particularly with London.
23:11Alan Wickers.
23:12Alan Wickers, Nick.
23:13Nickers.
23:13There you are.
23:14Oh, we haven't heard that one because we call them Reg Grandi's undies.
23:18Oh, there you are.
23:18You see?
23:21Here's a quite interesting thing about rhyming slang.
23:23I heard, er, someone in the, in a London market, er, talking and saying,
23:28I'm not Listerine.
23:30And I, I said to him, what do you mean Listerine?
23:32And Listerine is an example of a sort of, er, a rhyming slang that's moved on one.
23:36Because, er, an American in, in rhyming slang is, is often called a septic, which is short for septic tank.
23:42Yeah.
23:42Yank.
23:42Yank, which you probably heard.
23:43So if you don't like Americans, you are antiseptic.
23:46And if you're antiseptic, you're Listerine.
23:50See?
23:50So Listerine.
23:52There you are.
23:55So, let's get the same way while on the subject.
23:57You could have a rubber Gregory.
23:59Oh, I love it.
23:59Do you know what a rubber Gregory is?
24:00No, a peck.
24:02A Gregory peck?
24:03So...
24:03Rubberneck?
24:04No, that would work as a rubberneck.
24:05It's actually a cheque that bounces.
24:07Ah.
24:07Because a Gregory peck is a cheque and so, if your cheque bounces, in other words, returned by the bank,
24:10it's a rubber...
24:11He gave me a rubber...
24:12Rubber Gregory.
24:13Do you...
24:14Do you like my earthy street London accent?
24:17He sounds like such an idiot.
24:19Yeah.
24:21So, there we are, ladies and gentlemen, in the right hands, even a meaningless two-syllable
24:25name can be made as frisky as a gay ferret in a pink blender.
24:28I leave you with one last Alan, Alan Bennett, who when asked if he was gay, replied wearily,
24:34that's a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvernwater.
24:51Our final round, ladies and gentlemen, as ever, is a dazzlingly dispiriting display of general ignorance.
24:57Fingers hovering over your mushroomoid-style buzzers.
25:00Now, please, and let's see if we can give Alan a run for his money.
25:04So, question one.
25:05Who was the first man to circumnavigate the globe?
25:09Magellan.
25:10Magellan, oh dear.
25:12Oh, what have I done?
25:14Magellan is the howler, I'm afraid.
25:17What do you mean, no?
25:18No, he wasn't.
25:19He wasn't the first.
25:21Magellan was killed in the Philippines halfway around.
25:23He never finished.
25:24He never finished.
25:25His ship was the first two.
25:26The laurels actually go to his second-in-command.
25:28The almost completely unknown JS Elcano, a.k.a. Juan Sebastian Delcano.
25:32I don't suppose they'll rename the Magellan Straits the Delcano Straits,
25:35but nonetheless, it's good to help out, isn't it?
25:38Yeah.
25:38People who've been deprived by history.
25:39So, what was the nationality of the inventor of the helicopter?
25:44British.
25:45British, you think?
25:46Yeah.
25:46No, not correct.
25:49Italian.
25:50Oh, Italian, he said.
25:52Oh, we thought you meant that.
25:55Oh, Leonardo da Vinci.
25:56You were thinking of Leonardo da Vinci, weren't you?
25:58Well, no, you see, the answer is this.
26:00Actually, it was Chinese.
26:01The first known helicopter was a popular toy called the Bamboo Dragonfly,
26:04which could fly 25 feet vertically up into the air
26:07and dates back to at least the 4th century A.D.,
26:09therefore more than 1,000 years before the idea occurred to Leonardo da Vinci in 1480.
26:14But who actually did make a helicopter first?
26:17Not a silly bamboo thing.
26:19A proper helicopter, you know, going...
26:23Helicopter.
26:24Going across pilot.
26:25Helicopter just means...
26:27It just means a spiral or screw winged helix.
26:30A real one with an engine that takes off on tyres.
26:34I think the nation that really lays claim to inventing the first modern helicopter
26:37in the sense that we would use it is, in fact, French.
26:40Now, next question.
26:42What do you get if you suck your pencil for a long time?
26:46Ah!
26:46Lead poisoning!
26:47Oh!
26:47She's done it!
26:48Can you believe it?
26:49Can you believe these people?
26:52No, there is no chance on gods or any other earth that we know of
26:55of getting lead poisoning.
26:56You mean, sir, was lying?
26:58No, there is no lead in a pencil.
27:01It's called lead.
27:01It has no PB in it, no element of lead whatsoever.
27:04It's pure graphite.
27:05Ever since the first invention of the pencil, they've been made of graphite,
27:08which is the pure crystalline form of carbon.
27:11Why the lead thing?
27:13It's not lead?
27:13It's not lead.
27:14It never has been.
27:15It never will be.
27:16It's graphite.
27:16That's why they're not very heavy when you pick them up.
27:19Exactly.
27:20You might say they're more HB than PB.
27:23Oh!
27:25It's time for the final scores.
27:26Let me give them to you.
27:28Oh, dear.
27:28I'm afraid in fourth place, it's Peter with minus five.
27:31Oh, lordy lord.
27:33In third place, it's Rich with three points.
27:36In second place, Julia with nine.
27:38But way out in front, it's Alan with 23.
27:53Well, that about knocks it on the head for QI.
27:56It only remains for me to thank our four wise monkeys, Rich, Julian, Peter and Alan,
28:00and to close with this thoroughly positive and quite interesting thought from yet another
28:05great British Alan, the boxer Alan Minter, who reassures us, sure, there have been injuries
28:11and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious.
28:14LAUGHTER
28:15LAUGHTER
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