- 7 hours ago
First broadcast 10th January 2014.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jimmy Carr
Reginald D Hunter
Sue Perkins
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jimmy Carr
Reginald D Hunter
Sue Perkins
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening and welcome to the quite interesting world of kitsch, where tonight everything
00:09is in the worst possible taste. Let's meet those 70s icons, the girl off the Athena tennis poster, Sue Perkins.
00:23And complete with medallion and chest wig, it's Reginald D. Hunter.
00:34Our man on the waterbed in black satin pyjamas, Jimmy Carr.
00:44And not really giving a flying duck, Alan Davis.
00:53Now, if you want to avail yourself of my avocado bathroom en suite with all the trimmings, all you have
01:01to do is call. Sue goes.
01:02Reginald goes.
01:08Jimmy goes.
01:13And Alan goes.
01:17There we are.
01:19So, here's a load of old tat that includes everything but the kitsch sink.
01:25Have a look.
01:26A flowery chap.
01:29A cute balloon.
01:32A Tiffany lamp.
01:35And a donkey cigarette dispenser.
01:40Now, which is kitsch?
01:42See, I don't know where kitsch becomes tacky. There's a sort of hinterland, isn't there?
01:46We're going unusually for QI by dictionary definition.
01:50It's a quality of something that a kitsch thing must have in order to be kitsch.
01:54Ubiquity?
01:55No.
01:56Popular.
01:57Ordinary.
01:58Ordinary. Worthless.
01:59Worthless.
02:00Worthless.
02:00Worthless.
02:01Well, the Tiffany lamps, I saw a Tiffany lamp in a store.
02:04It was in the King's Row.
02:05Yeah.
02:05And I thought, oh, it's kind of a kitschy kind of thing, but it's all right.
02:08And it was like 80 grand or something ludicrous.
02:10Oh, yes.
02:11No, you bought it.
02:12So I bought three.
02:14Right.
02:15There was one from the 1890s that was sold for $2.8 million.
02:21They are far from worthless, the originals.
02:23But as you know, there are many imitations which would, I suppose, count as kitsch
02:27because essentially it's a stained glass Art Nouveau lamp where the bronze fit it.
02:322.8 million and then you can just very easily knock it over, can't you?
02:35That would be...
02:37You just come in pissed and you knock it over.
02:39That's true.
02:40I mean, China, I suppose, as well.
02:42So what about the balloon animal?
02:44But is that not the one...
02:45That's not a balloon animal, is it?
02:47That is a...
02:48What's the guy called?
02:49Oh, yes.
02:50The American artist.
02:51The guy who was dating La Chichelina.
02:54Jeff Koons, is it?
02:55Jeff Koons is the right answer.
02:56His work goes for a huge amount of money.
02:59Vast.
02:59I mean, one of his pieces went for $38 million.
03:02It really did look like a dog.
03:04Yeah.
03:05Yes, he does balloon animals, and that is a balloon animal, as you can see.
03:09Also, he has three Michael Jackson and Bubbles porcelain figures, which sold for $5.6 million.
03:17And he just does stuff that is kitsch in every sense, but the worthless sense.
03:23But wasn't Warhol doing the same thing with the, you know, pictures of Elvis and Marilyn and...
03:27Yes, they're not really so much kitsch as kind of...
03:30I don't know, they've raised the everyday into something.
03:33Yeah, the re-appropriation of everyday culture.
03:35Exactly right.
03:36Kitsch sometimes implies something more ornamental, more tchotchka, as they would say.
03:40No use just using another word I don't know.
03:43Yeah.
03:43That's not helping anyone.
03:44It's a bit more tchotchka.
03:46Oh, right, okay, yeah.
03:47It is a bit more tchotchka now you say it.
03:50Well, we'll have one more look from our little conveyor belt, and that's a chintz armchair.
03:54Chintz has become somewhat unfashionable, but when it first arrived from...
03:59Do you know where it first came from?
04:01Ume.
04:03Well, originally...
04:04I think it comes from John Lewis.
04:07Let's move a little bit away.
04:09China.
04:10India is the answer.
04:11It arrived as early as the 1680s in Europe, and was so successful and so remarkably popular
04:18that in the court of Versailles, Louis declared that it should be illegal everywhere except in his court,
04:25so because it was ruining the French textile industry.
04:27And the same happened in Britain in 1720.
04:30All chintz was banned because our own weavers were going out of business
04:34because it was considered such a luxury item.
04:36Mmm.
04:37I'm just getting a lot of retinal feedback from it.
04:40Yes, the word chintzy is not a compliment.
04:42Here's a really...
04:43I mean, I'd be so impressed.
04:44I'll give you 50 points if you can tell me something really unusual
04:47about the word chintz. It shares with only two other words in the English language, as far as I know.
04:52It'll be...oh, okay.
04:53Is it to be the Scrabble score?
04:54No.
04:55Is it...?
04:55It'll be something to do with the Z.
04:57Not exactly.
04:58They're all six-letter words.
05:01Almost, chintz, and biopsies.
05:03Do all the letters of the alphabet appear in those words in order?
05:07Not all the letters of the alphabet, no.
05:09It was a long shot, I mean, I'm not...
05:11I'm not spelling.
05:13The letters are in order.
05:14The letters are in alphabetical order.
05:15Oh, wow.
05:16Well, I've only got that.
05:17You kind of did.
05:18Yeah.
05:18You said all the letters of the alphabet.
05:21All the letters are in 26.
05:22Well, I might knock off a few of them.
05:24I've got 20 more than the right answer.
05:27Amazing how rare that is.
05:28Biopsy, almost, and chintz are in alphabetical order.
05:30Um, if you know of any more, please don't write in.
05:35You try and you think of a couple of words, you know, you think,
05:38that horse, no.
05:42Oh, no.
05:43He does rather come after it.
05:44Almond, no.
05:44Do you know what the issue with that is?
05:46Do you know what the issue with that is?
05:46Yes, you do.
05:47Basically, you could say to anyone, oh, apart from, yeah, armadillo as well as the other one.
05:51People never bother working these things out.
05:53No.
05:53If you say it's an anagram as well, people never sit down and do it.
05:56No, but I just have and that isn't.
05:57Yeah, that isn't.
05:59It's got an A in the middle.
06:02All right.
06:04The A was the only giveaway there.
06:06Yeah, it really was a bit of a giveaway.
06:07Yeah.
06:07So there's a chintz chair and finally we had on our conveyor belt this lovely object here.
06:13Oh, my, you're so lucky.
06:15Oh, I want that.
06:16You put, out comes a cigarette.
06:18We'll not smoke it, though, but...
06:20It poos a cigarette.
06:21Well, I think that's what they should do.
06:22Instead of going, oh, we're going to get rid of all cigarette advertising,
06:25I think they should say they all come out of donkey's arse.
06:28Yes.
06:29This would be good, because it's worthless.
06:31Well, it's £6.
06:32Um, and it's pretty kitsch, to be honest, isn't it?
06:35I like it, though.
06:36I'll buy it off you for a finer.
06:38Oh, you are a darling.
06:38There you are.
06:39Yours to cut out and keep it.
06:41Hello.
06:44Get off.
06:45He's just prolapsed.
06:47He's just prolapsed my donkey.
06:48Did you just finger her ass?
06:50No.
06:52I wish I did.
06:56Well, you're not too.
06:58Yeah.
06:58I'm putting that away from your roaming anal fingers.
07:02If you would, please.
07:03That's it.
07:04So, now.
07:04Oh, so.
07:06Yeah.
07:07Fry's in alphabetical order.
07:18The important thing is, there are lots of words enough,
07:21but the important thing, it has to be six letters.
07:23Yeah.
07:25That's what so happy.
07:27So, let's look at some things that may or may not be kitsch,
07:32like the fluffy dice.
07:33I like the way we can go from, like, heavy, you know,
07:35obscure, depthful meaning words to the donkey's assholes in the same way.
07:39That's what we like to think of as the QI difference.
07:42Uh-huh.
07:42Range.
07:43Sluffy dice.
07:44Oh.
07:44Is there a word for that?
07:45Tacky is the word I would probably use.
07:47Is that wrong of me?
07:48Yeah.
07:48But then they're sort of, they're used ironically now, aren't they?
07:50Well, that's so interesting.
07:51When they first came out, they would have been, it would have been a tacky thing to have
07:54in your courtina in the late 70s, and now it's kind of an ironic thing.
07:57Ditto those things behind me that are also on the screen, lava lamps.
08:01Yeah.
08:01I've got a lava lamp.
08:03Have you?
08:03Yep.
08:04Excellent.
08:04And the word one tends to use as that is?
08:07Arthole.
08:10Did he?
08:10I was going to suggest retro.
08:13Sorry.
08:15Wham, wham, wham.
08:16Retro.
08:16Yeah.
08:20So, have you got any of these, Reg?
08:21Any?
08:22No.
08:22In fact, I can say safely that I've never had any of those things.
08:26Not one?
08:27No gnomes in your garden?
08:29No, man.
08:30Are they kitsch, or are they just, what are they?
08:32They're again, sort of postmodern ironic now, aren't they?
08:34Yes, they are, aren't they?
08:34Gnomes seem to suggest something, and I don't know what they suggest, but I know for years
08:38when people see gnomes, they go, oh, you've got a gnome.
08:41And you're like, what'd that mean?
08:42Oh, man.
08:43And you don't know what that means.
08:46Do Americans have gnomes in their gardens?
08:49I mean, the fake ones, right?
08:51Yes.
08:51Yeah, obviously.
08:56I don't know, because, you know, like, sometimes you see them and you don't know if it's like
08:59an Irish offshoot or something.
09:01Yes.
09:02And you're in there with that doll with the, uh...
09:05Do you know what that is?
09:07Uh, well, my aunt had one, and it was supposed to, uh, excuse the fact that you are a person
09:11who owns toilet paper.
09:12That's it!
09:13It's so well done.
09:14It is indeed.
09:15You're not that type of person.
09:17No, I don't.
09:17I don't have a bottom, and I don't push things out of it every day.
09:20And therefore, I would have no need for any sort of paper to wipe that residue.
09:25The donkey shit pusher would have been horrifying.
09:26Oh, yeah.
09:30So Kitsch is really in the eye of the beholder.
09:32Now, why should you worry about a man in fluffy slippers?
09:35I think I wouldn't have any problem with his fluffy slippers.
09:37It's more the dressing gown I would have issues with.
09:40Yeah.
09:41Yeah.
09:41It's supposed to be a giraffe, doesn't it?
09:42I don't want to know where the...
09:43I don't want to know where the neck is.
09:44Does it...
09:45Well, as ever, we've given you a picture that is completely inappropriate.
09:49If I told you that the slippers in question were made of human blood, the blood of a young
09:54man's arm...
09:54I'm worried now.
09:56And of emu feathers.
09:59There's no way to know that off of first glance.
10:00There's no way to know.
10:01No, you wouldn't know that.
10:02So, now, where do emus live?
10:03Australia.
10:05Yeah.
10:05He just took the words out of your mouth, didn't he?
10:07Well, he did.
10:08Certain indigenous Australian peoples...
10:11Aborigines, I'm going to say?
10:12Yeah.
10:13In their belief systems, if someone committed a crime, then they had a figure called a Kodecha
10:19who wore these slippers.
10:21And in order to wear the slippers, which is quite tricky, he had to dislocate his small
10:25toes.
10:25That was part of the thing.
10:27There was a little hole for the small toe to poke out of.
10:31And he would find the perpetrator of this crime, whatever it might be, and he would point
10:37a bone at him, and the perpetrator of the crime would freeze and then die, presumably
10:43through psychosomatic or a sort of, you know, just because he was so terrified that the taboo
10:48was real, that he did die.
10:49You would have thought if someone's coming after you to kill you, with these toes dislocated,
10:53you could get away.
10:54Yes.
10:56You would have thought there's one great advantage, they're giving you a...
10:59Don't you have just made wider slippers?
11:01I mean, just so that you could fit all of the toes in without having to dislocate and
11:05then stick the weird gnarly one out of it.
11:06I agree, the dislocation's an odd part of it, but when you think about it, in order
11:09for us to pass judgment on people, we have to put something made of horse hair on our
11:13head.
11:14I mean, we have our own tribal ways of dealing with injustice.
11:17Are those, are those boomerangs there in their heads?
11:19Erm, they're probably Kylie's, yes.
11:22Do you know, do you know the boomerang joke?
11:24Go on then.
11:25No, I'll come back to you.
11:26No!
11:31I walked into that one.
11:33Oh dear.
11:34It sounds a little bit like, you know, bringing someone in for questioning and then to,
11:37like, intimidate them, you start torturing yourself in front of them.
11:41Like, ah!
11:41How you like that?
11:42Now tell me where your mama at.
11:44That would freak someone out, you're right.
11:46Yeah, but I don't know if they'd tell you the truth.
11:48All right, I'll talk, I'll talk.
11:49What was that one we had where you put your shoes on back to front and then people can't
11:54find you?
12:02The invisibility shoes or the shoes where...
12:05Turn them around.
12:06Well, that would sort of work.
12:08And then you walk along and you know...
12:09And people walk the opposite direction.
12:11Yeah, quite difficult.
12:12You've got to lose some toes.
12:13These are special shoes.
12:15Well, there's another kind of special shoe.
12:17The cow shoe.
12:19Who do you think might use the cow shoe?
12:21A cow.
12:21So, well...
12:23They already have cow's feet.
12:25They don't need to pretend to be cows.
12:27I want to be cow.
12:29Of course.
12:30No, human beings wore them, but they gave out cow footprints.
12:33Oh, like...
12:34Rustlers.
12:35Well, actually, Rustlers probably did use them as well.
12:37I think it was during prohibition.
12:39Right.
12:39It was.
12:40Yeah, bootleggers.
12:41So they could, you know, move their cases of stuff across the desert.
12:44A cow field.
12:45Looking as if it was just a...
12:46Yeah, a cow field.
12:47Exactly.
12:47Oh, yeah.
12:48So they think cows have gone from one bar to another.
12:53This cow looks like it was pissed and only had two legs.
12:58Downstairs to the club and came up again.
13:00Go on the taxi.
13:02This cow stood against the fence and then there was a big puddle and...
13:06While on the subject of Rustlers, there was a Rustler called George Big Nose Parrot,
13:11who was a cattle rustler and he was hanged and a Dr. John Os...
13:15What?!
13:19And he was skimmed.
13:22Was he?
13:23Oh, that's unnecessary.
13:24And Dr. John Osborne made a pair of shoes out of his skin and he became governor of Wyoming.
13:31Of course he did.
13:31No one's going to challenge him.
13:32He did nothing.
13:33And he wore those shoes at his inaugural ball.
13:37She sounds like a lovely man.
13:38Yes, charmer.
13:39How much age did that become unacceptable then?
13:42Well, it was as late as 1893.
13:44I didn't think it would have been unacceptable.
13:45Did he wait till the man was dead and then he like capitalized and said,
13:49I will seize the skin or he killed the man and then he started raking the man's skin off and
13:54like,
13:54I got what I wanted and that's why I cost you dead.
13:56No, he was hanged first.
13:59He was hanged first.
13:59He was hanged first.
14:03It's only going to waste otherwise.
14:05He's standing there barefoot looking at this man.
14:11Not pleasant, I grant you.
14:13But life is cheap in those days in the West.
14:16So stop me when you know what I'm talking about.
14:19Originally made out of shower curtains.
14:21Could be used as wallpaper.
14:23Works as a burger alarm.
14:24Prevents sweaty toilet syndrome.
14:26Covered Farrah Fawcett when she modeled for Playboy.
14:29Good for stress relief and wraps things up so they don't break.
14:34Nylon.
14:35Lino.
14:36What was the toilet syndrome?
14:38Well, don't worry about that because that's quite hard to guess.
14:40Rubber.
14:41It wraps things up.
14:42Oh, plastic.
14:44Bubble wrap.
14:45Bubble wrap.
14:46Yes.
14:49I'll tell you a few things about that.
14:50Well, it was invented in what, guess what year it was invented?
14:541947.
14:55It was only 57.
14:56It was 1957 by Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavann who put two shower curtains together hoping to find some use
15:03for it.
15:03And it wasn't until they...
15:06That's how they invented anything.
15:08Well, it's a crazy shot in the dark, isn't it?
15:11They thought you could have got a couple of pencils together and see if we come up with anything.
15:14Does this...
15:14What?
15:16They were clearly covering the bed.
15:18Yeah.
15:19To protect the mattress.
15:20Oh, no.
15:22And as they lay there, they heard pop, pop.
15:25Was that you?
15:26No, it wasn't me.
15:27You might be onto something here.
15:28This must be the shower curtain.
15:29They thought it could be sold as wallpaper.
15:31Then it didn't work.
15:33And nor did greenhouse insulation, which they also used it for.
15:35And it wasn't until 1960, three years later, they hit on the idea of wrapping up components for IBM.
15:41And since then, the Sealed Air Corporation now makes enough every year to encircle the world ten times.
15:46That's pretty impressive, isn't it?
15:47Well, that's good if we ever have to send the world encircle the world.
15:51Unfortunately, you'd send it Royal Mail and it would get lost, so...
15:55The thing about that is...
15:56Yeah.
15:57Where does it all go, then?
15:58Because...
15:59Yeah.
15:59It just goes in the bin, doesn't it?
16:01Bubble wrap.
16:01Once you pop to it.
16:02Or you sit in front of the telly, relieving yourself.
16:04Oh, then...
16:05Oh, God.
16:10You know what I mean.
16:12Yes.
16:13Yeah.
16:14Let's get back to the bubble wrap.
16:18If you put it in the bin, where does it all go?
16:20Oh, it goes in that sort of whirlpool between...
16:23Oh, no.
16:23In Hawaii.
16:24The Pacific Giant.
16:25Yeah.
16:26The size of Texas.
16:26That vast eddy.
16:27We're just full of, like, bin liners.
16:29Oh, dear.
16:29The sweaty toilet thing is a brand new stick it inside of a system.
16:32Because in hot, tropical countries, the toilet system sweats and it apparently cures that.
16:40Now, I've got this little test to you.
16:42Here we are.
16:43Right.
16:43And with any luck, the audience might have some bubble wrap, too.
16:46They're waving their bubble wrap.
16:47Thank you, audience.
16:48Do not pop it.
16:49This is a really important exercise.
16:51What do you mean, don't pop it?
16:52Don't pop it.
16:53Do not...
16:54Oh.
16:54No.
16:55No.
16:56No.
16:57This is really important.
16:58No problem.
16:59This is a test of your worthiness.
17:01Don't pop it.
17:01Yet.
17:01One of mine's already popped.
17:02I didn't do it.
17:03No.
17:03No.
17:03That's all right.
17:04As long as you live.
17:05Because in 2013, a group of Yale psychologists, they found another use for bubble wrap, which
17:10was to measure aggression.
17:12All right?
17:13They showed pictures of cute animals.
17:16All right?
17:17And were...
17:18No.
17:18No.
17:19No.
17:19Wait.
17:20Wait.
17:20Oh, shit.
17:22People were told to pop bubble wrap as they watched.
17:26They thought that it was a test for their motor activity and memory.
17:30In fact, it was a test for what's called cute aggression.
17:33If you see something very cute, you start popping more and more.
17:37Not because they wanted to hurt the animals, but because they were frustrated at not being
17:40able to touch them and cuddle them.
17:42And this is called cute aggression.
17:45It's when you kind of go, oh, like that.
17:48So, audience, hold your bubble wrap.
17:50We're going to show you some very cute animals.
17:52And it's all up to you.
17:53Okay.
17:54Let's start with the cuteness.
17:56Oh, dear.
17:57Oh.
17:58That's not.
17:58Come on.
17:59That's not that cute.
18:00Oh.
18:01It's not that cute.
18:02It's kind of dead.
18:03He's not that cute.
18:04Yeah, I think he's been shot.
18:06Oh.
18:07It's horrible.
18:08He does look like he's been shot.
18:09Oh, the blue I knew.
18:12Not that cute.
18:12Not worth it.
18:13Not worth it.
18:13Not worth it.
18:13Oh.
18:14Oh.
18:16Oh.
18:17Oh.
18:19Oh.
18:19Oh, that's good is.
18:20Yeah, that's getting cut off at the top.
18:23Look at these little oers, you know.
18:25Oh, that's funny.
18:25Oh, that's funny.
18:26I want a dog and I'm going to pop my load.
18:42you can put away your bubble wrap now that kitten is basically saying help me they're about to close
18:48the lid on this box he's probably shredding his cat yeah yeah you may like to know that the last
18:56monday in january is bubble wrap awareness day it's the appreciation of bubble wrap day i'm sure they
19:03have a website yeah they must do and rhett allain of wired magazine calculated that you need to wrap
19:09yourself in 39 layers of bubble wrap in order to survive falling out a six-floor window oh please
19:19don't try that at home so you don't have a six-story house so six if you wrapped yourself in
19:29bubble wrap six
19:30times you could jump out of a building and you'd be 39 oh thank god we clarified yeah
19:38you're going to go to the sixth story of your house i'm going up to the 39th story and wrapping
19:43myself six times should by my calculations i should be fine oh dear just out of interest do you know
19:51what a group of kittens is called there is a group name for kittens a puke is it a sack
19:57of no it's also
19:58for kids you are bad a group of kittens is actually called the kindle model enough really yeah the kindle
20:10of kittens
20:10oh no is that just for kittens or is it for cats just for kittens anyway so here are tonight's
20:16specials
20:18there we are see if you can read that oh yeah they're on the board as well clap du jour
20:23sea kittens
20:24oh sea kittens sea kittens is a medi-uppy phrase by people who don't want us to eat fish oh
20:30so they
20:31tried to make us uh go into a bubble wrap mode by calling it sea kitten instead of cod so
20:35that would
20:36be a group of people who are very against anything to do with any kind of aggression or beastliness to
20:41animals which would be vegetarians no the actual specific organization peta peta is the right answer
20:47the people's or what is it something for ethical treatment of animals something for ethical treatment of
20:53animals uh people for the ethical treatment of animals and so they thought that if they called all
21:05fish sea kittens people say i wouldn't want to put a hook in a sea kitten so that was the
21:10idea i think
21:11if anything it would make me want to try kittens yeah it's obviously not worked though in that case
21:17have they um and we've also got nymphs of dawn nymphs of the golden i know one thing there yes
21:22go on
21:24which are nymphs of the golden dawn which are they are they something like are they oysters they're not
21:29oysters and i was miss sold yeah they were first served for the prince of wales sounds like a strip
21:35in 1908 and there was served for the prince of wales in 1908 who would have been the future
21:41george v they were actually a creation of one of the great chefs or the great chef really of the
21:4719th
21:48oh good very well said and he persuaded the british to eat this dish specifically the prince of wales
21:55by calling it christian nymphs de laurore thighs of the nymphs of dawn frog's legs frog's legs is the right
22:05answer and there's a picture of frog's legs there and they are of course now a standard dish people eat
22:10very happily tastes like chicken as everything does that you're a bit scared of and it's a
22:15i'd say that rooster's testicles don't taste like chicken no no no i've had them have you had
22:19rooster's this is one of these things you do isn't it with giles corin you force yourself yeah oh i
22:25don't
22:25force myself what are his testicles oh my testicles taste like chicken oh i thought they might
22:31we've got a couple left men dip wolfing is that what petter calls um kittens so
22:37you wouldn't stop no where are the men dips is it between your bob and your testicles
22:41no
22:50a little bit further so yes somerset somerset like the quantics the mendip hill i know what my
22:54contacts are yes oh no they also have done like the trossics but this was served at the miner's arms
23:00in pretty in somerset and they served it as mendip wall fish because like frog's legs it's one of those
23:06things that british people don't go snails snails is the right answer somerset snails and unlike the
23:12french way of serving them which is with garlic garlic and butter exactly but it's pretty similar
23:17except it's with cider herbs and seasoning that's the rule somerset they're different like mule yeah
23:23and it's a mendip wolfy rocky mountain oysters i think uh testicles yeah absolutely right bulls
23:31testicles can be prairie also called prairie oysters completely right in fact there are lots of
23:37names for them some of which are quite amusing uh ball sack how did you get that photo
23:45they're pretty good aren't they called cowboy caviar uh oh god montana tender groins
23:51i had that once dusted nuts bulls right nuts is quite on the nose plate of knackers
24:03bull box yeah bull fries cream of bollocks
24:09they're also called swinging beef
24:13swinging beef is what i'm calling my autobiography
24:17oh they're sometimes called criadillas or huevos de toro which is huevos de toro
24:22huevos de toro is bulls eggs yeah what are they called in english uh plums on a plate
24:30sweet breads sweet breads sweet no that's the thymus gland
24:34pancreas thought on the pancreas or the thymus gland is sweet breads
24:38the testicles are sweet meats
24:40very good we've found our way through those unusual foods now i'll put the blackboard away and it's
24:46time to ask you this what is cannon hopning
24:50cannon is i think may be related to the english word coney does that help rabbit like a rabbit okay
24:57so rabbit hop so hopping like a bunny bunny hopping like a bunny but it's a sport rabbit for sure
25:03show jumping show jumping for rabbits is the right answer
25:17it's not that big a sport in in britain but in denmark and the scandinavian countries they take it
25:23pretty seriously and they have world records and they have championships and who's winning who's the
25:27current world champion well i can tell you the world record holder for uh the long jump is
25:32yabu who's danish uh three meters uh flopsie a close second
25:38has the high jump record at 99.5 centimeters they haven't yet broken the meter on the high jump
25:44but uh there are nearly a thousand rabbit show jumpers in sweden alone and the sport is also
25:49practicing the uk denmark and the us and uh elizabeth jansen has written two books about the sport
25:55do they don't test them afterwards
25:58and she does say that the sport will allow a rabbit to live twice as long
26:02up to 10 or 12 years as compared to the average five years uh that one in a hutch will
26:08live yes
26:09so it's very important to take care of your we have this well you've got to bathe them
26:12in hot water with potatoes and onions
26:17let's have some footage of some working large
26:20so here they go sure okay oh cute oh cute oh that's a big one oh that's a big one
26:29oh he's gonna refuse no he's up
26:33oh just shut it now
26:36oh he goes oh he's had a little one bravo
26:47as you can see that they weren't being led the human is not allowed to get ahead of the rabbit
26:51or that's a forfeit so the rabbit has to lead to the human if you don't get noticed in that
26:55footage
26:55the human was just behind so solve this one for me will you please i'm going to give you all
27:02oh muddled up dude can you do these oh there we go bullying at school
27:08bullying yeah anyone who couldn't do this got bullied how many combinations do you think there
27:11are i think there's too many for my small brain it's actually 40 1 000 43.25 quintillion
27:18should i tell you how we did it in croydon we just picked them off there you go way
27:32oh just stop picking them off do you know what's completely tragic
27:37we told jimmy and alan how to do it with six moves and jimmy remembered that alan
27:52any other you know well uh i i didn't receive that information
27:56you didn't know it was unfair on youtube it's quite a lot of fun it is fun it just brought
28:01back a lot of
28:02bad school memories i mean as i say it is a staggering number it is more possible combinations than
28:08light travels inches in a century there's the number up on the screen it is such a huge number it's
28:14inconceivably vast but you can make it impossible do you know how to do that take the stickers off just
28:20well yeah you should replace the stickers one with the other and so that it's actually never
28:24doable which would drive people insane but there are there are also the other way you can make
28:28impossible is to break someone's fingers yeah they'll come after you and shove a bone in your face
28:33there's the four by four you can imagine how many combinations there are that is even more gigantic
28:37probably eight or nine i imagine in 2010 which is quite a long time after the rubik cube became
28:41popular science and computing finally came up with the minimum number of moves from any combination
28:48that it takes to solve the cube can you imagine how many that might be well it's 20. uh it's
28:54called
28:55god's number and it's just extraordinary you say you were obsessed when you were when you were a
29:00child under pressure can we see if you can do it now oh god come on i can do the
29:04first two rows but
29:05that's it and when i go to the doctor that's pretty messed up oh god come on look look okay
29:10you're on the
29:10clock we've all got a long time ahead of us i've got to decide which colors i'm okay all right
29:14so that's
29:15we need like a backing track for this really this needs let's get green and oops stop it
29:23oh stop stop you
29:27you are being so unkind and you're out of time
29:31and i have a birthday who goes there we could do one of those fade out fade in there we'll
29:38get some beer
29:39can we get some beer sometime later
29:43right so i've got all the middle ones here now we do the corners
29:46well kick back go to the bar come back in a couple hours
29:50that's it so we've got those four there and those two middle ones you should be able to do it
29:53within
29:5420 20 moves oh even yeah i know that but i can't the god's number you know yeah i don't
30:01be mean
30:01to me takes an atheist a lot longer yeah
30:08there's the first layer um
30:11thank you so uh there's your rubik's cube now what did the american army do with a hundred
30:19thousand of these whoa excuse me oh there we go you pass that on yours there oh my god are
30:28these
30:28the original oh yeah can you see what's inside them wow because i'm afraid i was looking the wrong way
30:33that's what i've got i've got there's too many layers of glass separating what are you saying jimmy
30:39hardcore pornography and you i've got a target and a plane look planes and you've got reginald
30:52what's happening in the future reg we're all on a plane you're right these are america
30:58crosshairs do you know what these devices of course view master view master is the right
31:03it's written on it oh it's also written up they're made in portland oregon yes indeed and they're a
31:16rather wonderful device invented in the 1930s and you have a disc like this it's a pretty simple disc
31:21you can put it out pop it in and you press the lever and you get a 3d picture and
31:27what you've got
31:27of the army versions that were used to help members of uh of gunnery crews and various other
31:34things to recognize the outlines and shapes of either friendly or enemy aircraft and that's what
31:39you'll see thomas the tank engine i've got we've given alan thomas the tank engine because we thought
31:44he'd be confused by the airplane so what does your card actually say when you put it out and then
31:50what's
31:50it sound percy found himself under the coal sheet i don't like getting dirty
31:57i'll say hell diver vengeance dauntless texan it gives all the details of the plane in the
32:04photograph yeah see baltimore yeah they're other good you have a small the thomas so sorry you had
32:09ones you had ones for goodies and ones for baddies then oh the thomas is beautiful
32:16i've got the original nolan sisters here inside was thomas on in the second world war
32:21i think you look a little bit like a doctor who baddie anyway they did have a serious purpose in
32:28fact they handed out how many of them 12 100 000 so that was in the war and then they
32:34went well
32:34afterwards what should we do with them is it just in the way with military things whenever there's a war
32:39you
32:39always get something out of it like the bazooka the first the bazooka obviously has a use in
32:44everyday life as well for cooking chicken and to play in greek music is it true i mean i went
32:50to on
32:50holiday to vietnam and i fired a machine gun you can pay money for bullets and fire me they've got
32:56old
32:57guns in the wall really but someone told me that if they have a bazooka and you you can fire
33:03the cow now
33:05is that beautiful i've heard that i've heard that there's a very um there's certainly an eccentric
33:14man who has a large estate in shropshire and he has an old-fashioned roman ballista one of those
33:20sort of catapult things and what he does for fun is catapult cows through the air dead cows he doesn't
33:28do it with live cows well not not at the not at the end of it no they do go
33:33a huge distance and there is
33:35something highly comical about seeing a cow sailing through the air going hundreds of yards through
33:41the air but now the bazooka as a butcher underneath it's a bit of a mess we just wrap ourselves
33:47in
33:48bubble wrap 39 times we'll be fine exactly six million discs you know they use the american army
33:55to hand out to their hundred thousand people so that was so that was a military thing before it was
33:59a
33:59toy no it was a toy first but the american army and navy saw the value in it for spotting
34:05sounds
34:06like another defense contract to me yes the internet was originally a military well the sat nav as well
34:12is was a military thing deal or no deal that was a military thing absolutely right yeah now i'd like
34:20to
34:20take a picture as a memento of this lovely evening
34:31as a fantastic weekend we spent what that mohair look is working for you yeah
34:42there we are now what's the quickest way to develop it what should i do to shake it shake it
34:54baby
34:59yeah so the quickest way to develop it is to take it to boots the chemist
35:03no it isn't it's actually quicker to do an oil paint sort of thing it does take a bit of
35:08time let's
35:08have you two as well it'd be nice come on oh that's so cute
35:16now um what they used to do the old pros when they took photographs in proper film they used to
35:21do a
35:21uh put a little polaroid first oh yeah and they used to put it under their arms to be ass
35:27cheeks
35:27usually i'm sorry we had different photographers
35:35i think it's sort of a slippery slope though because
35:37it used to be you went away on holiday and you took photos and then you got back
35:42don't shake it and you went to the chemist and you put them in and then they took a week
35:52i want to see that shot i didn't realize you were pulling that face red
35:59i didn't realize you was pulling your face
36:02no one thing is you used to get photos from a holiday the last two shots were always of the
36:05dog because you hadn't taken enough and then you go to the chemist and then you'd remember the
36:09holiday now we reminisce instantly and that's ruined it it's true you go look at us we were so young
36:14four minutes ago and you go to one of those um rock gikes where people perform and um everybody
36:22watches them through their cameras instead of watching the real people i like that though i
36:26like the fact that people like when i do a stand-up show someone will be taping it on their
36:28phone
36:29as if like now is not a good time for me i'm going to take this and enjoy it later
36:34on in this supreme
36:34quality you can't enjoy the moment well they used to get your pictures back and then have a sticker
36:39on them sometimes don't they yes this picture is shit
36:45well this picture has been sent to the police
36:49a copy of it well can you tell me about who invented the featheroid photograph do
36:53remember his name roid he had a brother named him
37:02was it eastman or kodak or uh it wasn't eastman or kodak no
37:09land his name was land was his name and he made polarized sunglasses and that's why he called it
37:16polaroid there he is mr land i feel the knee i feel the knee full speed oh you can ride
37:21my tail anytime
37:23then the polaroid camera was launched in 1948 because the company was already called polaroid
37:28he called it a polaroid camera it used to be polaroids but were always a bit grimy weren't they
37:32that was if you ever found a box of polaroids in your parents room it's worth leaving those alone
37:39that's a mental scarring right there oh what's that that seems to oh no
37:46well anyway the point is shaking a polaroid had no effect on how quickly it developed
37:50now here's a classic piece of kitsch why is every fourth monkey like a search engine
37:57fourth monkey four three monkeys i think that's the strange thing that you know you can see no evil
38:07well google is right but google's motto feeling lucky
38:18that's true yeah but that's a corporation they have this one that's been you know mocked many
38:23times but it is their their sort of mission statement isn't it don't be evil don't do evil
38:27is that don't do evil is their motto and there was a thought sorry that motto is that's clutching
38:32i know i know because you just heard about prairie oysters and gone hang on no these are koshin
38:40monkeys and we know the three the fourth was just considered by the time it came to the west a
38:44bit
38:44too rude and it was do no evil and it was expressed by covering its genitals i'm ironic though that
38:50the
38:51fourth monkey should do no evil the whole it's knackers when google is a search engine for the
38:55you know the porn industry you know the most search for thing on the internet this is true
39:00i gather but that that i didn't realize you could get other stuff on it until recently
39:05i used to refer to the internet as the pornography so i was on the pornography last night do you
39:10know
39:10you can book train tickets on it as well it's pornography in caps if they ever find a video with
39:16a tabby
39:16banging a tortoiseshell that the internet will eat it's almost it's like burning out about the 13th
39:23of the parcel or something exactly and the first three basically don't don't grass anyone up yeah and
39:29then the fourth one is actually don't get involved and lastly to wrap up our kitsch fest here's some
39:36karaoke what is the world's most dangerous song is this the song that's playing most often during traffic
39:44accidents no it's not that this really is a karaoke issue at least six people in the philip
39:48i've been murdered for singing my way exactly sorry murdered for singing their way
39:54because they didn't do it right they haven't just they they did it their way
40:00they murdered my way and were murdered as a result so they're singing the end and now the end is
40:04nine
40:04yeah exactly last i faced the final cat yeah but in thailand the song to be wary of is even
40:11more
40:12dangerous uh in 2008 a gunman shot dead eight of his neighbors after becoming enraged at the noise from
40:18karaoke parties at which they sang this american song by a good old mountain boy uh from west virginia
40:26take me home oh john denver yes that's it take me home country roads became the song that killed eight
40:32people and thus they were taken home yes they were taken in exactly uh most people credit the
40:37invention of karaoke to a japanese fellow called daisuke in the way in 1971 he's to blame well yes but
40:43he didn't make any money out of it whatsoever but he has patented a cockroach killer which is
40:48specifically designed to kill cockroaches that live in karaoke machines
40:52i might presume by playing them peter andre yes and now this would be very good you get lots of
41:00points if you can guess what the prize was in 2010 for the karaoke world championships held in
41:05moscow the prize was one million something karaoke machines no rubles not rubles barrels of oil
41:15yeah very oysters you were very horses yeah dumplings is the answer one million dumplings
41:21how do you take that home now they like dumplings a lot now they do they do love their dumplings
41:25i mean
41:26they've got to be pretty moorish before you get to a million it's a hell of a number isn't it
41:29i suppose you just shared it with everybody there well you'd be excited to know that we come now to
41:34the
41:34scores and how fascinating they are in first place where the towering plus nine is jimmy carl
41:45yes finally
41:52in second place with a very impressive plus six is alan davis
42:05in third place with a highly respectable zero is reginald e under
42:17the dead karaoke cockroaches tonight with minus eight is sue perkins
42:29my thanks to jimmy reginald and alan and good night
42:33and good night
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