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00:00:00Stick a bunny in me pocket, I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:00:09Cause if you are the best ones, but you don't ask questions
00:00:14Then brother, I'm your man
00:00:17Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:00:21It's like the changing of the seasons and the tides of the sea
00:00:25But is the one who's driving me berserk?
00:00:30Why do only foes and horses work?
00:00:45Derek! Your breakfast has been on the table for the last 15 minutes!
00:00:53Isn't that nice?
00:00:56Yes, thank you.
00:00:57I was talking to Damian.
00:01:00Next time you do the shopping, buy the ketchup in a glass bottle.
00:01:07And another thing, Albert, will you please stop boiling your old vests and pants out on our cooker?
00:01:13This is almost the 21st century and we have washing machines for that sort of thing.
00:01:17Look, Rachel, why are you angry at me? I'm not the one who's been coming home late every night.
00:01:21I'm always here in the flat.
00:01:23Yes, aren't you just?
00:01:27Good morning, lad.
00:01:28Ah! Morning.
00:01:30Oh, bloody tooth.
00:01:32Oh! Hello, champ.
00:01:34Hey, good morning. How are you this morning?
00:01:37Here, this looks really good, this, doesn't it?
00:01:38You're in trouble, son.
00:01:40We're killed on the warpath.
00:01:41Oh, she don't frighten me, Albert.
00:01:44I've handled much more violent women than her.
00:01:46Oh!
00:01:48Good morning, sweetheart.
00:01:50Any calls for me last night, was there?
00:01:52I haven't a clue. I went to bed early.
00:01:54Why don't you get yourself an answering machine, Derek?
00:01:56Answering machine? Good idea, darling.
00:01:57Yes? Just what the business needs is an answer phone.
00:02:01Especially seeing you're too exhausted to do it these days.
00:02:04I tell you what, Damien's getting a bit big for that high chair.
00:02:07Look at him, he'll be starting work soon.
00:02:09There's nothing wrong with a high chair.
00:02:10Exactly.
00:02:12No, that isn't very good, Nick.
00:02:13I might get a few quid for that.
00:02:15I think I've put an ad in the local newsagent.
00:02:18What time did you get in last night?
00:02:20Me?
00:02:20Oh, er, about quarter past twelve.
00:02:24It was twenty to two.
00:02:26Was it?
00:02:27Oh, I mean, the battery's going in this watch, look.
00:02:29So, where were you?
00:02:34Erm, I went down the next head, had a swift half,
00:02:37and then I had to go and meet someone in the, erm, casino.
00:02:42Oh, that's a relief.
00:02:44For a minute there, I was worried you might be squandering our money.
00:02:46How much you win, son?
00:02:47Shut up!
00:02:48Don't be silly, Albert.
00:02:50Del doesn't know what winning is.
00:02:52Eat your breakfast, Del.
00:02:53I thought you said all this fried stuff was bad for me veins.
00:02:58Eat your breakfast, Del.
00:03:01She's not happy, son.
00:03:03Well, she's a woman, isn't she?
00:03:06Anyway, takes me mind off me tooth.
00:03:09I don't know.
00:03:10What were you and Paul, Rodney?
00:03:12He's starting to look ashen-faced, hasn't he?
00:03:15Mm.
00:03:16He does look a bit cream-crackered of late.
00:03:18Don't worry.
00:03:19I'll have a word with him.
00:03:20I usually manage to sort out his problems.
00:03:23Hello?
00:03:34Cassandra, it's Raquel.
00:03:36Can you talk?
00:03:37Rodney's not there, is he?
00:03:38No, he's left for work.
00:03:39I just phoned to see what the doctor said last night.
00:03:42Oh, she was ever so nice.
00:03:43Basically, she said not to worry.
00:03:45She's got three couples on her books who've been trying for babies for over a year.
00:03:49So Rodney and I are almost rookies.
00:03:50Listen, I've got to take my temperature hourly, keep a chart, you know, usual stuff.
00:03:55Oh, and she's given me some exercises that are supposed to strengthen the muscles.
00:03:58Have you abandoned that, um, shed-jolt thing she worked out for you?
00:04:02I don't know how either of you keep up the pace.
00:04:04It sounded excessive for Mel Gibson and his wife, let alone you and Rodney.
00:04:08Now, I've decided to continue with that.
00:04:10I know it hasn't worked, but Rodney's enjoyed himself trying.
00:04:12All right, Rodney?
00:04:17Yeah, all right, mate.
00:04:19What's you been up to?
00:04:20You look like some vampire's been having a go at you.
00:04:23I don't know, thank you very much.
00:04:25You weren't involved in that riot on your stake the other night, were you?
00:04:28No, I was not.
00:04:29As if I'd get involved in a riot.
00:04:31You don't look well.
00:04:33You look shagged out, don't you, lad?
00:04:35You don't look well, do you?
00:04:38There's nothing wrong with me, all right?
00:04:40Raquel, you haven't mentioned this baby business to Del, have you?
00:04:45Of course not.
00:04:46Rodney thinks we ought to choose the right time to tell him.
00:04:49Oh, I'll leave it to you.
00:04:51How are things with you and Del?
00:04:53Much the same.
00:04:54He didn't get in till 20 to 2 this morning.
00:04:57Why don't you ask Rodney to find out what's happening?
00:04:59Because I'm a bit frightened of what the answer might be.
00:05:01I think the first flush of fatherhood and domesticity has cooled,
00:05:04and he's gone back to his old ways.
00:05:06Down the pubs and casino with his stupid mates.
00:05:08We'll have to go, someone's coming.
00:05:10Talk to you soon, bye.
00:05:13He's dropped a load of beans on the carpet.
00:05:16Well, why don't you wipe them up?
00:05:17Me?
00:05:18No, let the old git wipe them up himself.
00:05:21Oh, I love it.
00:05:24Have you spoken to Cassandra recently?
00:05:27No.
00:05:27Well, when you do, you find out if there's anything wrong between her and Rodgers.
00:05:32Don't go interfering in their lives, Del.
00:05:34What?
00:05:34He's my young brother.
00:05:36I've got a right to interfere.
00:05:37If they've got a problem, I just want to help out.
00:05:39Oh, God.
00:05:40That is the best yet.
00:05:42Come on, time for your wash.
00:05:47You, Albert.
00:05:50If you're doing this to annoy me, it's not working.
00:05:57Makes you wonder whether it's all worthwhile, doesn't it, honk, eh?
00:05:59Yeah, if you say so, son.
00:06:01I do, son.
00:06:02I'll pick this up at a library yesterday.
00:06:11Relate.
00:06:11It's the new word for marriage guidance.
00:06:14I didn't know if it'd be any good to you.
00:06:16Oh, thanks very much, honk.
00:06:17Actually, it's just the sort of thing I'm looking for, this.
00:06:25I'm just going to go and make a private phone call.
00:06:32I'm just going to go and make a private phone call.
00:07:02How are you, sweetheart?
00:07:02I'm fine, thanks.
00:07:04Oh, Custy.
00:07:05Um, look, Cassandra, I don't want to interfere or anything like that,
00:07:09but I'm a little bit worried about young Rodders.
00:07:12He's, well, he seems to be a bit worried, you know.
00:07:14He's not his old self, and I just wondered if there was anything I could do to help.
00:07:17Look, if you must know, Del, Rodney and I are trying for a baby.
00:07:22Yeah, all right, I'll get off the phone then, all right?
00:07:34No, not right now.
00:07:37Rodney's not even here.
00:07:40He left half an hour ago.
00:07:42Mum, he left half an hour ago and you're still panting?
00:07:44I'm in the middle of my exercises.
00:07:50Oh, your exercise?
00:07:52Oh, I see what you mean.
00:07:53I thought that you...
00:07:54Well, never mind what I thought.
00:07:55But, um, look, I can't help you unless you let me know what is happening.
00:08:01Oh, God.
00:08:04All right?
00:08:04Yeah.
00:08:05Where is everyone?
00:08:07Uh, Raquel's seeing the Littlin and Del's in the kitchen making a private phone call.
00:08:11Me too.
00:08:12I think it's the marriage guidance people.
00:08:14Them and Raquel aren't married.
00:08:16I know, but they're rad, aren't they?
00:08:18I'll make you a new pot of tea, sir.
00:08:20Oh, yes, yes.
00:08:22No, you see, the thing is, you know, that a man...
00:08:25Well, a man, you know, any man, can, in fact, you know, lose his drive.
00:08:32Rodney hasn't lost his drive.
00:08:34No, no, no, no, no.
00:08:35I'm not saying that is happening, no.
00:08:37What I'm saying is that a man, you know, man, any man, can, well, you know, lose his...
00:08:44his oomph.
00:08:46Yeah.
00:08:48Naturally, you see, the woman, she becomes frustrated and disappointed.
00:08:51But that's not necessarily the man's fault, is it, eh?
00:08:56Oh, uh, morning, Raquel.
00:08:59Oh, morning.
00:09:00Where's Del?
00:09:01Uh, he's on the phone.
00:09:02Who to?
00:09:03Can't know.
00:09:05So, how's life treating you?
00:09:07How's life treating me?
00:09:09Do you mean besides him coming in at all hours in the morning, spending every spare hour
00:09:12with his mates down the pub and wasting our money in that casino?
00:09:15Yeah.
00:09:17Well, I'll give you an example of how life's treating me, Rodney.
00:09:20Have you seen what's inside my wardrobe?
00:09:23No.
00:09:23Well, not to put too fine a point on it, the only times my clothes look fashionable is when
00:09:28I'm watching a UK gold.
00:09:31Now, a short while ago, Del happened to mention that he had a contact in the rag trade.
00:09:36Yeah.
00:09:36This fella could get the very latest in fashion and all the top designer labels.
00:09:41Christmas was approaching.
00:09:42Del asked me what I'd like.
00:09:44Anything you want, sweetheart, just name it.
00:09:46So I said I wouldn't mind a little number by Bruce Oldfield.
00:09:49You've got me tubular bells.
00:09:58That's my fault, Phil.
00:10:00I know.
00:10:00Yeah, now, listen, all you've got to do, sweetheart, is you just take your time, right?
00:10:06You just take your time and you'll have a lovely, healthy baby, just like my Damien.
00:10:10Yeah.
00:10:11Nine pounds, he was, you know.
00:10:14Yeah.
00:10:15I remember the day that he was born.
00:10:18Yeah, of course, me and Raquel, you know, haven't given up hope of doing it again sometime.
00:10:23What's the baby's weight got to do with it?
00:10:26No, no, no, no.
00:10:27It doesn't matter how big it is, does it?
00:10:30Who are you talking to?
00:10:33Cassandra.
00:10:37Good morning, brothers.
00:10:42Cassandra, what are you doing discussing our private life with him?
00:10:45I don't care.
00:10:46This will be all over the nag's head by dinner time.
00:10:49That's the thanks I get.
00:10:51I thought you'd be used to it by now.
00:11:00They've heard this place up yet, have they?
00:11:05That's not a lot of point.
00:11:07I've heard they're expecting another riot.
00:11:09They reckon anything could set it off.
00:11:11I've heard they're thinking of twinning this place with Jurassic Park.
00:11:16Oh.
00:11:17Oh.
00:11:18Bloody hell.
00:11:18You want to go somewhere with that, too?
00:11:20I'll go everywhere with it, don't I?
00:11:22Stacking me bloody head.
00:11:23I meant the dentists.
00:11:26Yes, yes, yes, I will.
00:11:30Can I switch the radio on?
00:11:32Yeah, go on, if you like.
00:11:42Do you know this is Raquel's most favourite number?
00:11:45Yeah.
00:11:46Can I switch it up?
00:11:47Oh, no, leave it.
00:11:53Yeah.
00:11:55Every time I hear this number, you know, it always reminds me of my Raquel.
00:12:01Yeah, go on, switch it off.
00:12:05There you go, Denzel.
00:12:07One bowl of piping hot porridge.
00:12:09That'll warm you up on a cold morning.
00:12:11Cheers, Sid.
00:12:13Is it here in this?
00:12:15Is it here?
00:12:16There's another one.
00:12:25That's disgusting, that is, Sid.
00:12:27If the health authorities saw this, they'd close you down.
00:12:30I've been closed down for a lot worse than that, Denzel.
00:12:33I think it's politically correct, people.
00:12:35Yeah.
00:12:36What do you have, Intrigue?
00:12:38I'll try some of that porridge.
00:12:39All right, thanks.
00:12:50Two, two, Sid.
00:12:52All right, Dave.
00:12:56Don't have the porridge, Rodney.
00:12:57I've just found ears in mine.
00:12:59It was only two ears.
00:13:00That's enough, isn't it?
00:13:04Maybe there's a sparring in it.
00:13:07So how's it going, Del?
00:13:08You got all your Christmas presents?
00:13:10No, not yet.
00:13:11Damien wants a pet.
00:13:13I didn't think the council allowed pets.
00:13:15No, only a little one, you know, like a rabbit or a guinea pig or something like that.
00:13:19How's it going, Del?
00:13:20Don't ask, Treek.
00:13:22Things still the same, eh?
00:13:23Yeah, they're still giving me stride.
00:13:25Yeah, it's a bitch, isn't it?
00:13:28Well, that's strong, isn't it, a bit, Treek?
00:13:30No, you're too soft, Del.
00:13:32I've been in exactly the same boat as you have.
00:13:34You know what I've done?
00:13:35I got shot of it.
00:13:37Hey, look, Treek, it's not as simple as just get shot of it.
00:13:40Why?
00:13:41Del, love.
00:13:43Well, a strong bond exists, doesn't it, Del?
00:13:45That's right.
00:13:45We've been together a long time.
00:13:47And you're just going to get more and more aggro.
00:13:49I know how you feel.
00:13:51You become attached to them.
00:13:52Give them little pet names.
00:13:53I've done it.
00:13:54Take my advice, Del.
00:13:55Get down a dentist and have it out.
00:14:00No, Treek.
00:14:01It's best in the long run, Del.
00:14:04Try my dentist.
00:14:05He's good.
00:14:06I've been going to him for years.
00:14:07Yeah, yeah, all right.
00:14:08I might try that, Treek.
00:14:10Treek, we were talking about Del and Raquel.
00:14:13You still rowing?
00:14:14Well, he's never there to find out, are you?
00:14:16No.
00:14:18She's still talking to me, unfortunately.
00:14:20I'll never understand the workings of a woman's mind.
00:14:25I suppose that's why I gave up trying in the end.
00:14:29Yeah.
00:14:30Who was that bird I used to go out with?
00:14:33Which one?
00:14:35What was her name?
00:14:38What's your little name?
00:14:39Redhead.
00:14:40Ah, one of the redheads.
00:14:42Pauline.
00:14:43No, no, no.
00:14:44Fair of neat from Woolworths?
00:14:46No.
00:14:46Janine.
00:14:47Who are her?
00:14:49Marion.
00:14:49Where's Marion?
00:14:50I don't know.
00:14:52You met her out the cat for Dog Track.
00:14:53You bought her a ring.
00:14:56Oh, yeah.
00:14:57No, not her.
00:14:58No, no.
00:14:58What am I thinking about?
00:14:59What was her name?
00:15:00Her dad was a tattooist.
00:15:02She had this tattoo of a heart with a dagger going through it on her five.
00:15:08Don't ring a bell.
00:15:09Well, you would have only been about two.
00:15:12What was her name?
00:15:13She worked at the betting shop down Lewisham Grove.
00:15:16Betting shop down Lewisham Grove.
00:15:20Well, it don't matter.
00:15:22I went out with her for about...
00:15:24Must have been a month.
00:15:26Actually, she was going steady with another bloke at the time, but it didn't worry me.
00:15:30Made it more exciting.
00:15:32Well, she was a sporting girl.
00:15:34You know, good all-rounder.
00:15:36You know what I mean?
00:15:36Well, I'd save back me money, right, to take her on holiday.
00:15:42Well, it's going to be really exotic.
00:15:43The holiday of a lifetime.
00:15:45When all of a sudden, right out of the blue, for no reason, she packed me in.
00:15:50And yet, the night before, I'd taken her home to meet my mum and dad for the first time.
00:15:56So, the next day, I went down to the betting shop, you know, to have a chat with her, to take her out for lunch and all that.
00:16:07And they said that she weren't there.
00:16:10But I knew that she was, because I saw her crash helmet hanging up on the hook.
00:16:15So, I went and looked for her.
00:16:16You know where I found her?
00:16:18She was hiding on the roof.
00:16:20She said she was sunbathing.
00:16:21Well, maybe she was sunbathing.
00:16:23No, it was a sloping roof.
00:16:26And there she was, with her back against the tiles and her stilettos jammed in the gutter.
00:16:34She nearly fell off twice.
00:16:37Well, anyway, that was Dad.
00:16:40God, blimey, what was her name?
00:16:45Did you get your money back on the holiday?
00:16:46You know what these caravan sights are like, don't you?
00:16:51I'm going to get your money back on the holiday.
00:17:21So, I said to Cass, I popped down to the club and see Del.
00:17:23Oh, right.
00:17:24Here, Miguel.
00:17:25There you are.
00:17:26A lager top, please.
00:17:27Thanks.
00:17:29You're drinking a lot of scotch these days?
00:17:31Yeah, well, it's the only thing that dulls the pain, isn't it?
00:17:35Talk to her, Del.
00:17:36There's nothing that can't be sorted by talking it out.
00:17:40I'm not talking about Raquel.
00:17:41I'm talking about my bloody tooth.
00:17:43Oh, well, go to the dentist.
00:17:45I don't like dentists.
00:17:46Well, then let it go rotten and get septicemia.
00:17:48Look, shut up moaning, will you?
00:17:50I've come here to psych myself up for the game and you do nothing but lecture me.
00:17:53It's like playing poker with Neil Kinnock.
00:17:57Here on.
00:17:58Del boy.
00:18:01Rodney.
00:18:02Oh, how's it going, boysie?
00:18:04Life is one long uphill struggle at the moment, Derek.
00:18:07The second-hand car business is in its biggest slump since, well, since the last one.
00:18:12Me and Marlene could only afford one week's holiday in Barbados this year.
00:18:17Oh, that's terrible, isn't it?
00:18:19Please, don't go on about it.
00:18:21You know how easy I cry.
00:18:23I'll have to hold a whip for him.
00:18:25Can I count the lashes?
00:18:28Look, I happen to believe that everyone has the right to expect a certain standard of living.
00:18:33I mean, it's all right for you coming from that council estate.
00:18:36You know, sometimes I almost envy you.
00:18:40Not often, I must admit.
00:18:42It's nothing with all the problems you've got.
00:18:45We ain't got no problems.
00:18:46Raquel and I are just going through a sticky patch, that's all.
00:18:49When I mention problems, I was referring to that riot the other night.
00:18:54I hear they went through the whole estate looking for any halfway decent car and then setting fire to it.
00:18:59You're all three-wheel van, all right, was it, Del boy?
00:19:02Yes, thank you, boysie.
00:19:04They didn't lay a finger on you.
00:19:05Well, that's a godsend at least.
00:19:08Only because I know the leader of the rioters.
00:19:12Terrible, though, anyway.
00:19:13The way they set fire to their own people's property when there's a very big car site just up the road.
00:19:19That's Boyce's car site, Derek.
00:19:22Oh, is it you, Rodney?
00:19:23Well, let's hope someone does not suggest that to the rioters.
00:19:26Hey, would you?
00:19:28Miguel, can you get my friend to drink?
00:19:31Same again, please.
00:19:32I'll put it on my account.
00:19:33Well, I must be off.
00:19:35Lots of luck, eh?
00:19:37Yeah.
00:19:37Cheers, boysie.
00:19:41Miguel.
00:19:49God, blimey.
00:19:51All right.
00:19:51I don't know about my teeth.
00:19:55I think my eyes need testing.
00:20:00I turned around a bit quick just then, and I thought right said Fred had just walked in.
00:20:04Good night.
00:20:14Good night.
00:20:16Good night.
00:20:16Good night.
00:20:16Aren't you going to have a bit?
00:20:31No, I'm not.
00:20:32It's a mug's game.
00:20:34And it dawned on you yet that the only one who wins is the casino owner.
00:20:37I'm not.
00:20:39Sorry.
00:20:40What were you saying?
00:20:41Yeah, all right.
00:20:42I saw you were lucky.
00:20:43Well, you've won now, so let's go home.
00:20:45Hey, no, don't talk.
00:20:46Wait, I'm on a roll.
00:20:48Play the evens.
00:20:48Girl, will you spare one moment's fault for Raquel?
00:20:53Who do you think I'm doing this for, Rodney?
00:20:55I'm doing this for her and Damien.
00:20:57Rodney, I couldn't say anything before because I didn't want the word to get out.
00:21:01It's been very delicate, but I'm trying to put down a big deal with Ronnie Nelson.
00:21:05So what are you doing down here at the one-to-one club most nights?
00:21:08Because he owns it, doesn't he?
00:21:09He don't come in before one o'clock in the morning, so I've got to hang about and have
00:21:12a word with him.
00:21:14Can't let this deal slip through my fingers, Rodney.
00:21:16Tell you what it is.
00:21:20650 handheld camcorders.
00:21:24Made in Russia.
00:21:26Russian camcorders.
00:21:29I don't think they went in for all that you've been frying cobblers.
00:21:32No, no, no.
00:21:33They're ex-military.
00:21:34They've got night vision on them and everything.
00:21:36We are going to buy 650 Russian army camcorders.
00:21:41Yeah, with a bit of luck.
00:21:44895 quid.
00:21:45Are you going to pay 895 pounds for a camera?
00:21:49No, no, don't, no.
00:21:50895 quid for the lot.
00:21:54Well, they sound very classy.
00:21:56Oh, no.
00:21:56State of the arse.
00:21:5730 red.
00:22:01Aren't you going to have a bet?
00:22:02No.
00:22:04Look, try and look at it from Raquel's point of view, Del.
00:22:07She's in that flat night after night with Horatio and his tales of a sea.
00:22:11And you're down here drinking and gambling.
00:22:14Oh, no.
00:22:15Does she appreciate it?
00:22:16No.
00:22:17No, she does not.
00:22:21Honestly.
00:22:22She thinks I'm out every night enjoying myself.
00:22:25Here, sue me, darling.
00:22:26Same again, please.
00:22:27That's the trouble with women, Rodney.
00:22:30They change.
00:22:31And they expect you to change with them.
00:22:33She wanted me to become a pipe and slippers man.
00:22:35You know, having a cup of tea and a biscuit and watching Family Fortunes.
00:22:40Well, stuff that for a game of toy soldiers.
00:22:42Well, don't get me wrong.
00:22:43I'm not averse to a cup of tarjeeling and an ob-nob, but there is a time and a place for everything.
00:22:49No.
00:22:50I live life on the tightrope.
00:22:53And I enjoy the company of my mates, and I don't see why I should change just because I've met Raquel.
00:22:57And who are your mates, Del?
00:22:59Boycey, the Freemason.
00:23:01A total snob who thinks anyone who's got a pound less than him is a peasant.
00:23:06Denzel is a man who eats porridge with a wig in it.
00:23:09And then what are you, Trigger?
00:23:11A road sweeper who gives pet names to his teeth.
00:23:16They're still me mates.
00:23:19I'm not like you, Rodders.
00:23:21Del boy is not for turning.
00:23:23What's that supposed to mean?
00:23:24Marriage ain't changed me.
00:23:26Quit has, Rodney.
00:23:27I've seen you and that Cassandra.
00:23:29She's into this conservation malarkey, and so is Rodney as well.
00:23:33I have not changed, Del.
00:23:35When I make my mind up about something, nothing can alter it.
00:23:38140 pieces, sir, thank you.
00:23:40We'll stick with even, shall we?
00:23:43I'm going to go and get some chips.
00:23:57Come on.
00:23:58Raids.
00:23:59Raids.
00:24:00Raids.
00:24:00Excuse me, Del.
00:24:02Yeah?
00:24:02I'm afraid Ronnie won't be in now.
00:24:04I'll leave a message for him.
00:24:05No.
00:24:06All right, thanks.
00:24:14Come on, Rodney.
00:24:16Let's go home.
00:24:17Hang on.
00:24:17The ball ain't landed yet.
00:24:1817 black.
00:24:23Shit.
00:24:23Oi.
00:24:25How much did you lose?
00:24:2750.
00:24:29You plonker.
00:24:30I wouldn't have gambled at all if you hadn't encouraged me.
00:24:36Oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:24:36Don't blame me.
00:24:38What'd you come in here for anyway if you didn't want to flatter?
00:24:41Oh, I'll tell you what, shall I?
00:24:42Cassandra suggested I come down here.
00:24:45Oh, yeah?
00:24:45Why?
00:24:46So as we can get you home at a decent hour.
00:24:48We are trying to save your relationship with Raquel.
00:24:52You've been falling in.
00:24:52I'm past one, two o'clock in the morning, and it is not on, bell.
00:25:01It's eight o'clock in the morning.
00:25:04This is all your fault, dopey.
00:25:06Mate?
00:25:07Yes, you, you, you, you.
00:25:08You kept me talking in there.
00:25:10Oh, yeah, and who was he doing all the gambling?
00:25:11Well, you were doing your fair share.
00:25:13God, blimey, I could have been home hours ago if it weren't for you.
00:25:16You really dropped me in it this time, Rodney.
00:25:19Look, we could be down the market in half an hour.
00:25:22Right, listen, I know what you're thinking.
00:25:24I know what you're thinking, because I can read your minds.
00:25:26You're thinking, what do I want with all this ski equipment?
00:25:29There ain't no mountains in Peckham.
00:25:31Absolutely true.
00:25:32Now, in a few months' time, you yourself may decide to take an alpine holiday.
00:25:37Now, due to my unique style of bulk buying,
00:25:41you can go togged out in the latest up-to-the-minute fashion
00:25:45at bargain basement prices.
00:25:47Now, I'm going to show you how stylish this gear is,
00:25:50because it's being modelled now by my younger brother, Rodney.
00:25:58Now, the jacket is padded in pure fibreglass
00:26:03and quilted in natural nylon.
00:26:06Now, this jacket alone would set you back about 120 quid at Lilywhites,
00:26:10but this can be yours for a mere £35,
00:26:14and it comes in all sizes.
00:26:16Now, all this equipment here is manufactured by the one country
00:26:20that leads the world in alpine clothing,
00:26:23namely, Fiji.
00:26:26Just a moment, please.
00:26:28This is probably the Austrian Olympic squad
00:26:31wanting to increase their order.
00:26:33Hello?
00:26:35Trotters Independent Traders, a PLC, Arctic Clothing Department.
00:26:38All right, Dave.
00:26:42Rodney, it's Cassandra.
00:26:47Cass?
00:26:48I told you never to find me at work.
00:26:51What?
00:26:54What now?
00:26:57Cass, I can't.
00:26:58I'm in the middle...
00:26:58Yeah, I've got to shoot off.
00:27:06Cassie needs me at home.
00:27:08What for?
00:27:11Mine's probably the right time.
00:27:13Oh, come on, Rodney.
00:27:14She'll keep till this evening.
00:27:16Nice.
00:27:16Well, you know.
00:27:21She's most probably at the right time, Pre-Char.
00:27:25Stone me, Rodney.
00:27:26What are you two trying for, a baby or a barbecue?
00:27:28Of course, of course.
00:27:33Hurry up.
00:27:34Here, don't you want to change your clothes?
00:27:37Oh, look at that.
00:27:41Cass, I'm on.
00:27:43I'm in here, Rodney.
00:27:45All right.
00:27:45One bit of a minute.
00:27:46Sorry about that, Raquel.
00:28:01I was...
00:28:02I was hot.
00:28:06What are you doing here?
00:28:07She's left ill.
00:28:09Lefty?
00:28:09Why?
00:28:10Do you know what time he got in this morning?
00:28:14No.
00:28:15Quarter past eight.
00:28:19Get away.
00:28:20I just changed into his working clothes and went straight down the market.
00:28:24He didn't even stop for a cup of tea.
00:28:26Well, that was the last straw.
00:28:27He's not treating me like that anymore.
00:28:29Look, you've got to look at it from his point of view, Raquel.
00:28:31There are extenuating circumstances.
00:28:34Like what?
00:28:36Well, he's having a lot of trouble with his teeth.
00:28:39That's no excuse.
00:28:40No, I know, but he is in pain.
00:28:42So am I, Rodney.
00:28:43So am I.
00:28:44Well, where are you going to go?
00:28:46I said they could stay here.
00:28:48Here?
00:28:49Well, this is a one-bedroom flat.
00:28:50Well, this is a sofa bed.
00:28:52I won't be here for long.
00:28:53A couple of nights, that's all.
00:28:55Is that OK with you?
00:28:57Yeah.
00:28:58Yeah, of course.
00:28:59Good.
00:29:01I'll make us a cup of something.
00:29:03I'll help.
00:29:04I'll help.
00:29:15Here we go, gentlemen.
00:29:29Grease.
00:29:30Is that right, Del?
00:29:31Just a lemonade for you.
00:29:33Yeah, that's right.
00:29:34Yeah, I'm going down there visit.
00:29:35Triggs dents this afternoon.
00:29:36I don't want to smell a booze.
00:29:38So how are things on the home front?
00:29:40You and Raquel still at pistols drawn, are you?
00:29:42Yeah, still involved in the Cold War.
00:29:44But I'm going to live my life the way I want to live it.
00:29:48Give her time, she'll learn.
00:29:49That's exactly the attitude I took with my Kareem.
00:29:53Even when she left me, I refused to change.
00:29:57Seven years ago, but I haven't changed.
00:30:00Yeah, but there is a difference there, in there, Dantoy.
00:30:02I mean, you know, Raquel would never leave me.
00:30:05Because it's the real deep love thing.
00:30:07Women are a mystery, though, ain't they?
00:30:10What?
00:30:11Hard to say.
00:30:11It is a mystery for you.
00:30:12It is a bit.
00:30:13Answer me this.
00:30:14Why is it that women always want to know what time you got in, right?
00:30:18They say to you, what time did you get in last night?
00:30:20And you say, well, I don't know, about quarter past 12.
00:30:22And they say, no, you didn't.
00:30:23It was 20 to 2.
00:30:25And I think to myself, well, why bloody ask?
00:30:27It's right.
00:30:28It's right.
00:30:29Why ask?
00:30:30I mean, it's like saying to you, what's that on the telly?
00:30:33Coronation Street or EastEnders?
00:30:34And you say, it's EastEnders.
00:30:36And they say, no, it ain't.
00:30:37It's Coronation Street.
00:30:38I mean, why ask?
00:30:39It's it.
00:30:39Why ask?
00:30:40Beats me.
00:30:41You know, I came home one night and my missus said, here, where are you living now?
00:30:46I said, here.
00:30:47She said, no, you ain't.
00:30:48Threw me suitcase at me.
00:30:50Why ask?
00:30:52Why ask?
00:30:58Well, I mean, that's women for you, aren't it?
00:31:00I mean, they're a different breed.
00:31:02Take my Marlene.
00:31:03She's always moaning on and on about how I don't respect her.
00:31:06I mean, me?
00:31:08Don't respect me own wife.
00:31:10Daft old mare.
00:31:12I mean, I love her.
00:31:14Don't get me wrong.
00:31:15But sometimes I think getting married was the worst mistake I ever made in my life.
00:31:20I sometimes think back to when we first met in Lewisham Grove.
00:31:23I wish I'd never, ever walked into that betting shop now.
00:31:35Oh, so you...
00:31:36Trigger.
00:31:36I remember something very important I meant to tell you.
00:31:43What's that?
00:31:43It's gone now.
00:31:45Oh, that's all right.
00:31:45Denzel happens to me all the time.
00:31:47See, I was just going to say something important to Denzel and it's gone now.
00:31:56So how'd it turn out there, Mike?
00:31:58Eh?
00:32:01Coronation Street or East Ender.
00:32:04As long as we weren't El Dorado, we're going to all sleep easy, aren't we?
00:32:11Well, all right, aren't any messages for me?
00:32:13Yeah, uh...
00:32:14That boat phoned about the video cameras and, uh...
00:32:17Someone come round moaning about, uh, a pair of ski pets.
00:32:21Oh!
00:32:22And Raquel's left ya.
00:32:27They just don't believe it.
00:32:29I have never, never had a woman walk out on me like that.
00:32:33Miss you, eh?
00:32:34Who?
00:32:36All of them.
00:32:38Yeah, but they didn't have my child with them, did they?
00:32:40Look, Del, I feel a bit embarrassed about Raquel staying at the flat and that, but what could I do?
00:32:49I couldn't refuse, could I?
00:32:51No, of course not, bruv.
00:32:52No, you couldn't see him turned out in the street, could you?
00:32:56Now, you look after him.
00:32:57I'll see you're all right for some money.
00:32:58Oh, don't be silly.
00:32:59No, no.
00:33:00No, come on straight.
00:33:01I appreciate what you're doing.
00:33:02Look, Del, I reckon all it would take is one phone call and you two would be back together in no time.
00:33:09It'll just take one word, sorry.
00:33:17No, I think you're right, Rodney.
00:33:19All right, get her to phone me and apologise and I'll...
00:33:21I'm talking about you.
00:33:25Me?
00:33:25What have I done?
00:33:27Raquel hardly ever sees you.
00:33:29You treat that flat like a lodging house.
00:33:31She told me you walked into the bedroom one night and Damien screamed.
00:33:35Thought you was an intruder.
00:33:36That is rubbish, that is.
00:33:39Look, I've been under a lot of stress lately, what with, you know, business deals and all that.
00:33:43Well, I explained to her, I said Del's been under a lot of pressure.
00:33:46What with business and his teeth going manky.
00:33:49Exactly, what with...
00:33:50My teeth are not going manky.
00:33:52They just need looking at it, that's all.
00:33:53Well, get in there and have them looked at then.
00:33:56I don't like dentists.
00:33:58God, it's like the Milky Bar kids.
00:34:00I'll tell you what we'll do, right?
00:34:02Look, we'll go down to Ronnie Nelson's and pick up the cameras, then we'll come back here and I'll go to the dentist's.
00:34:08No.
00:34:09You go to the dentist now and then we'll pick up the cameras.
00:34:13I'll go on, get in there.
00:34:16Don't you come in with me?
00:34:25No.
00:34:26I'm going to have a kip in the vein.
00:34:29Oi?
00:34:29Oi.
00:34:31Rodney, I'm going to get you.
00:34:32Oh.
00:34:33Oh.
00:34:34I'm sorry to interrupt.
00:34:40Mrs Patel just rang to cancel a four o'clock appointment.
00:34:43Thank you, Beverly.
00:34:44Oh!
00:34:46That's the one.
00:34:47Oh.
00:34:47No, hey.
00:34:49Help yourself to the, um...
00:34:51No, it's all.
00:35:00Very good.
00:35:01Do you have regular dental checks, Mr Trotter?
00:35:08Oh, yes, Doctor.
00:35:09You can't be too careful where the old choppers are concerned.
00:35:11Can you?
00:35:12And who was the last dentist you saw?
00:35:14The last one there would be, uh...
00:35:16Mr Owens had a surgery down on Gandy Avenue.
00:35:19Mr Owens?
00:35:20Mm.
00:35:21He died on the night of the Queen's Silver Jubilee.
00:35:24Yeah, in 77.
00:35:25Yeah, it was tragic, wasn't it?
00:35:28So, you have a regular check-up every 16 years.
00:35:33Yeah, I think it's better in the long run, don't you?
00:35:36Yeah, yeah.
00:35:38Really, that tooth of yours is beyond repair, Mr Trotter.
00:35:41I'll have to come out.
00:35:42Oh, it's good to come out.
00:35:43All right, well, I'll make an appointment and see you next week.
00:35:45All right?
00:35:45No, no, I'll do it now.
00:35:47Now?
00:35:48Don't worry.
00:35:49You won't feel a thing.
00:35:50This will just make one side of your face a bit numb.
00:35:55Ah, you see, but the thing is, you know, I'm in a bit of a hurry.
00:35:58Well, it'll take five minutes.
00:36:00But my brother's out there in the van.
00:36:02Just a little brick.
00:36:04Well, I don't know him then, do you?
00:36:20There we are.
00:36:26Now, if you'd like to sit in the waiting room for a while,
00:36:29just give the anaesthetic time to work, I'll call you in five minutes.
00:36:34Thank you, Doctor.
00:36:40Mrs Marshall, you can go through now.
00:36:42Just got to wait for this jollup to work.
00:36:53Yeah, it doesn't take too long.
00:36:55Perhaps we could complete this form while you're waiting.
00:36:58It's just for new patients.
00:37:00I got most of your details.
00:37:02Now then, let me see.
00:37:05Yeah, next to kin.
00:37:07Next to kin?
00:37:08Blimey, I'm only having me tooth out.
00:37:10No, it's just local health authority procedure.
00:37:15I ain't got no next to kin.
00:37:18What, no one?
00:37:20Well, it's my brother.
00:37:21Have you got any dependents?
00:37:23Yeah, my brother.
00:37:23Yeah.
00:37:40Yeah, I've got a son.
00:37:46Ah, that's better.
00:37:49It's Damien.
00:37:51Damien Derek Trotter.
00:37:53Oh, my daughter's got a little boy called that.
00:37:55Not Damien Derek Trotter.
00:37:58No.
00:37:59Just Damien.
00:38:01You're having me on.
00:38:02You've got a grandson.
00:38:03Yeah?
00:38:04Yeah, but...
00:38:06You must have had your daughter very, very young.
00:38:09I'll put you down as, um...
00:38:12What are you on?
00:38:12Late twenties.
00:38:14Oh, get off.
00:38:16No, to be honest, straight out.
00:38:19It's your husband, is he, isn't it?
00:38:22Mr Ellis?
00:38:23Yeah.
00:38:23No, I just work here.
00:38:24Well, I see.
00:38:26I thought it might be, you know, like a family business, ain't I?
00:38:28No.
00:38:30I'm divorced.
00:38:32Yeah, we broke up about, well, nine years ago.
00:38:35Oh, really?
00:38:37Because, uh, my partner, she, you know, she left me.
00:38:42Oh, I'm sorry.
00:38:44You know, people say time's a great healer.
00:38:47I'm not so sure.
00:38:50Even now, I sometimes think about those days, and...
00:38:52Well, it still hurts, you know?
00:38:55Yes, I know the feeling.
00:38:57I still get these little pains.
00:38:59When did your relationship break up?
00:39:02This morning.
00:39:04This morning?
00:39:07Perhaps you knew we ought to go out with each other, you know, and cry on each other's shoulders.
00:39:12Now, there is a rat in the vein.
00:39:16You what?
00:39:17In the vein, there's a rat.
00:39:19Rat?
00:39:20In the vein.
00:39:21What are you on about?
00:39:22I am trying to inform you that there is a rat in the vein.
00:39:26It's not a rat.
00:39:29It's a gerbil.
00:39:32All right, so there's a gerbil in the vein.
00:39:35Oh, no, I've got it for Christmas.
00:39:38For Christmas?
00:39:43For Damien.
00:39:44Yes, it's one of his presents.
00:39:47Jerry the gerbil.
00:39:48I had it in the cage in the back of the van.
00:39:50The door must have come open or something.
00:39:52I don't know.
00:39:53Go and put it back in a cage.
00:39:55Go and put the gerbil back in the cage.
00:40:11Dependent.
00:40:12No, my boy, you know, he wanted a pet for Christmas, so I got him Jerry the gerbil.
00:40:20So, what about it, Beverly?
00:40:22Sorry?
00:40:22Yeah.
00:40:23You mean?
00:40:25Having a date?
00:40:27Oh, well, it's very nice of you, but...
00:40:30Well, you see, the thing is, your relationship's only just broken up.
00:40:34In a couple of days' time, you could both be back together again.
00:40:36No, no, I won't.
00:40:37No, it's finished.
00:40:38Kaput.
00:40:39Oh, no, it's not going back.
00:40:41I'm a free agent.
00:40:42I'll go where I want and with whom I want.
00:40:45Okay, then.
00:40:48Lovely jubbly.
00:40:50You don't make sense.
00:40:54Well, what about to see you this evening, then?
00:40:56You know, by eight o'clock?
00:40:58Take you out for a slap-up meal.
00:41:00You know, steak.
00:41:02Onion rings.
00:41:04Fine.
00:41:07That's where I live.
00:41:09And that's the telephone number, in case anything goes wrong.
00:41:12Oh, well.
00:41:12I see you this evening.
00:41:15What?
00:41:16Hmm?
00:41:16Oh, sorry.
00:41:18I'll...
00:41:19Anaseptics being in it and work.
00:41:21I'll be with you in a minute.
00:41:23Hmm.
00:41:24All right.
00:41:29I'll just, uh...
00:41:30Shit here.
00:41:31Yeah.
00:41:42Are they the Russian cameras Del was telling me about?
00:41:53No, this is a pair of Chelsea boots with an elasticated gusset.
00:41:56Of course it's a Russian camera.
00:41:59All right, then.
00:42:00How's your mouth Del?
00:42:02Oh, I can't feel a thing.
00:42:03Brilliant dentist.
00:42:05These camcorders are bigger than I imagined.
00:42:07Yeah, they are a bit on the wide side, aren't they, eh?
00:42:10You said they was handheld.
00:42:12Well, you're holding them in your hands, aren't you?
00:42:14I'm just.
00:42:15You're supposed to carry one of these around Euro Disney on your shoulder.
00:42:18You do your backing.
00:42:20Well, that's good for you, Rodney.
00:42:21Good for your strength, you see.
00:42:22Build your strength up, won't it, eh?
00:42:23Save you a fortune on all them weights and rowing machines and all that sort of stuff.
00:42:27Well, I wonder what that writing says on the side there.
00:42:31Reject mice, probably.
00:42:33These are not rejects, Rodney.
00:42:35These are top of the range, these are.
00:42:37Look at them.
00:42:38Look, solid they are.
00:42:39No bits of plastic to break off.
00:42:42The cassette, look at that, is inside the camera.
00:42:45Don't muck about with them soppy little things.
00:42:47No, this was designed for tank warfare, this, you know.
00:42:51Yes, look at that.
00:42:52You can just see them now.
00:42:53All right, number one, fire a shot across the bell.
00:42:57Del?
00:42:58Yeah?
00:42:59I don't fit the machine.
00:43:02No, I know that.
00:43:04I know that they're a different size.
00:43:06But there's no problem, because Ronnie Nelson, he's got a consignment of Russian VCRs coming over next Tuesday from, er, Volvo Gret.
00:43:14Oh, right.
00:43:15So, if we actually do find a mercenary who wants to tape his next tank belt to show the wife and kids,
00:43:21he's got to buy a Russian VCR off us and all.
00:43:23I can't see him queuing for this one, Del.
00:43:26Ninety-five quid to set.
00:43:27Can't be bad, can it, eh?
00:43:29Think about it, Rodney.
00:43:30Make money on this and more.
00:43:32All you've got to do is fall on your arse and old, er, Jamie Beedle will give you a grand.
00:43:37You going out, Del?
00:43:38Yes.
00:43:39Yes, I'm going out.
00:43:39I've got a date.
00:43:41A date?
00:43:42Uh-huh.
00:43:43What do you mean, you've got a date?
00:43:44I've got a date.
00:43:45I met this woman down at the, er, dentist's.
00:43:47Taking her out for dinner.
00:43:49I don't believe I'm airing this.
00:43:52Well, you surprise me, Del.
00:43:54Raquel and your baby are only just round the corner and you're going out with some young bird.
00:43:59She's not a young bird.
00:44:01She happens to be a grandmother.
00:44:03A grandmother?
00:44:03Well, perhaps she can bring her sister along for her in.
00:44:11She is a very young grandmother.
00:44:14Sister-along.
00:44:17Don't look at me like that, Rodney.
00:44:20Raquel was the one who walked out on me.
00:44:28You don't know what it's like.
00:44:31I'm not an island, Rodney.
00:44:34Oh, man gets lonely.
00:44:36Raquel only left this morning.
00:44:40Del, she's left you for longer periods when she's been out shopping.
00:44:44Yeah, I know, but it's horrible in here now.
00:44:46You've got Albert.
00:44:47That's what I mean.
00:44:49Could you honestly cheat, I reckon?
00:44:51Two-time the mother of your baby.
00:44:54Oh, Bonnie the douche.
00:44:55I'm only taking her out of the Burnie Inn.
00:44:57Yeah, and that can lead to other things, can't it?
00:45:00Yeah, like next week, I'll take her to a sponge you like.
00:45:04You know what I mean.
00:45:07Did you know that Raquel was crying this afternoon?
00:45:12Crying?
00:45:13Yeah.
00:45:14Sat on our sofa crying her eyes out, because of you.
00:45:18Poor gal.
00:45:21That's what I thought.
00:45:23Well, I'll see you later.
00:45:24Do enjoy your steak, Derek.
00:45:27Rodney, Rodney, all right, all right.
00:45:29All right, no, you've made your point.
00:45:32I was only trying to, you know, see if I could still pull.
00:45:38I'll call her and break off the date.
00:45:40Good.
00:45:41And while you've got the phone in your hand, give Raquel a call and ask her to come home.
00:45:44No way, Pedro!
00:45:48She wants to come back to this flat.
00:45:49She's got to call me.
00:45:51Oh, you kill me, Derek.
00:45:52I'll see you then, Maura.
00:45:54Yeah.
00:45:55You're doing the right thing, Del.
00:45:58It was a bad move.
00:46:00Yeah, I suspect you're right.
00:46:02Pity, really.
00:46:04She fancied one of these cameras and all.
00:46:06Hi, this is Beverly.
00:46:17Can't come to the phone right now, but if you'd like to leave a message after the turn, I'll get back to you.
00:46:22No.
00:46:24Uh, yeah.
00:46:25Hello, Beverly.
00:46:27This is Del Boy.
00:46:27Um, the thing is, I can't make our date tonight.
00:46:33Um, you know, I'm sorry.
00:46:35I'll give you a call another time.
00:46:38Right?
00:46:39Yeah.
00:46:40Bonjour.
00:46:40I'll pour us a drink, Del.
00:46:45Yeah, I wish I had a dog or a cat.
00:46:47You got that gerbil?
00:46:49Yeah, but I feel like kicking something up the arse.
00:46:51He was doing what?
00:46:58Shh!
00:46:58I reckon I was in there.
00:47:00He was going out with another woman.
00:47:02He was frightening too.
00:47:04He was all dressed up.
00:47:05He looked like a heartthrob out of Crossroads.
00:47:08Do you think he's going through a midlife crisis?
00:47:10You know, dressing up, trying to attract young girls.
00:47:12Nah.
00:47:14That was the case in Del's male menopause started when he was 14.
00:47:18Anyway, she's not a young girl.
00:47:19She's a grandmother.
00:47:20A grandmother?
00:47:22Shh!
00:47:24He met her at the dentist's.
00:47:26I don't think much would have happened on their date anyway.
00:47:29And her must probably sat in a Bernie and counting her teeth.
00:47:32Why doesn't he just phone Raquel?
00:47:34They're obviously both missing each other.
00:47:36Oh, it's his pride, isn't it?
00:47:37He is the man and must be seen to be the man.
00:47:41He's never had a very modern attitude towards women and relationships.
00:47:44When he was younger, Del's idea of safe sex was not telling a girl where he lived.
00:47:50It's funny, but in them days, Del used to be my hero.
00:47:55Del?
00:47:56You're joking.
00:47:57Oh, I could tell you things about Del, boy, that would amaze you.
00:48:01Go on, then.
00:48:02Amaze me.
00:48:04Well, there's...
00:48:04Yeah, there was a time he took his O-levels.
00:48:08I was only a little sprog, but I still remember the night he brought his results on.
00:48:12He'd got eight A's.
00:48:14Eight A's?
00:48:16Del?
00:48:16Yeah.
00:48:17A for English, A for Maths.
00:48:18The list just went on.
00:48:19Wait a minute.
00:48:20They were someone else's results, weren't they?
00:48:22No.
00:48:22No, they were Del's results.
00:48:24I remember my mum and dad was all excited.
00:48:27We had a big family celebration.
00:48:28Aunties, uncles, the lot.
00:48:31Del was tossing up where to go, you know, Oxford or Cambridge.
00:48:35He phoned up both universities, made a few inquiries.
00:48:38What are the pubs are like, that sort of thing.
00:48:40I can't imagine Del getting eight A's.
00:48:43No, you surprised everyone.
00:48:45Then, a couple of days later, we got a letter from the school.
00:48:50Turned out the A's all stood for absent.
00:48:53You haven't turned up for any of the exams?
00:48:56No, not one.
00:48:58He'd been down the market flogging some hockey Tom Jones help, but he's...
00:49:01Mind you, you wouldn't have laughed if you'd been there at the time.
00:49:05My dad went potty.
00:49:07He was shouting at Del, calling him names.
00:49:10Del was ducking round a room trying to escape.
00:49:15Then it all turned violent.
00:49:17He'd been out drinking, you see.
00:49:20He took his belt off.
00:49:21He started whacking him, punching him, everything.
00:49:26That's what he was like.
00:49:28My mum was screaming, don't hit him, don't hit him, and I was crying.
00:49:32Oh, God.
00:49:34Poor Rodney.
00:49:37Was he hurt?
00:49:38Not too bad.
00:49:40He was in hospital for a couple of days.
00:49:42My mum took me up to visit him.
00:49:45And what happened to your father?
00:49:48I'm talking about me father.
00:49:50Oh, no.
00:49:51I thought you meant Del.
00:49:52Oh, no, he was all right.
00:49:55He was a dirty little fighter.
00:49:56He used to go in low and grab him.
00:50:00I've seen him in so many fights over the years.
00:50:02I've heard sounds that only a white hunter could make sense of.
00:50:05I suppose that's why he was my hero.
00:50:09Because from that day onwards, me dad never whacked me again.
00:50:13He was too frightened of what Del would do to him if he found out.
00:50:15So, that's how my life went on.
00:50:20As long as Del was around, no one could do me any harm.
00:50:23Of course, he made up for that in later life, but...
00:50:26How are you feeling?
00:50:44Well, you know, I'll give it a go.
00:50:46Oh, that's nice.
00:50:52Now, don't bite me.
00:50:54You know how easily I bruise.
00:50:55You just wandered in.
00:51:16Wandered in.
00:51:18Cassandra, I locked the bedroom door.
00:51:25What do you like if I come in?
00:51:31I didn't lock the door.
00:51:32There you are.
00:51:34He's been looking everywhere for you.
00:51:36Sorry about this.
00:51:38It's all right.
00:51:39I don't know.
00:51:40He sleeps all day and only comes alive at night.
00:51:44So, I'm going to Uncle Rodney and Auntie Cassandra.
00:51:47Night.
00:51:49All right.
00:51:49Night, Damien.
00:51:54What do you think, man?
00:51:56Leave it till tomorrow, shall we?
00:52:03Look, it's for an endangered species.
00:52:05Do you realise what's happening to the quake, Mike?
00:52:08Listen, love.
00:52:10Del's been eating the sauce a bit heavy lately.
00:52:12Just keep an eye on, though, isn't it?
00:52:13Yeah, I understand.
00:52:14Leave it to me, Rodney.
00:52:15Look, all I'm asking for is 50p.
00:52:18What happens when you save all these whales?
00:52:21They'll start breathing, will they?
00:52:23Well, I won't be surprised.
00:52:24I don't know how anyone could fancy a whale.
00:52:27Yeah.
00:52:29No, I don't.
00:52:30Big ugly things, don't they?
00:52:31No, look, you haven't got a breed with them.
00:52:34They can sort that sort of thing out themselves.
00:52:35Oh, I know a lot more about the sea than you, Rodney.
00:52:39Oh, God, here we go.
00:52:40You'd be surprised how quickly these whales breed.
00:52:43I agree.
00:52:44And they're not all as gentle as some people imagine.
00:52:46True.
00:52:47You get a lot of them together.
00:52:48They could be quite dangerous.
00:52:50One.
00:52:51Two in the war.
00:52:52We haven't.
00:52:54I was in the submarine up in the Barents Sea, and we got attacked by a whale.
00:52:58It's most probably just trying to protect its young, now, but...
00:53:01No, it wasn't.
00:53:02It fancied us.
00:53:04A whale got the hots for your submarine.
00:53:07Yeah, it's horrible.
00:53:09We're shaking all over the place.
00:53:12Like your worst nightmare, isn't it, Dave?
00:53:13No, my worst nightmare was sitting in the pub having a conversation with you two.
00:53:18You.
00:53:23We've been on for about half hour.
00:53:25Skipper told us to hang on to dear life and don't do anything to annoy it.
00:53:30He put the periscope up at one point.
00:53:32Up where?
00:53:35He looked through the viewfinder and went as white as a sheet.
00:53:38God knows what he saw.
00:53:41But that man never had alibut again.
00:53:43So what'd you do when it was over?
00:53:49All lie back and have a cigarette?
00:53:52Don't take the mickey out of me, Roddy.
00:53:54Have you ever tried to lay an underwater telephone line during the mating season?
00:53:59No, no, I haven't.
00:54:00Well, my advice to you, son, is don't ever attempt it.
00:54:05You want to listen to him, Dave?
00:54:06He knows what he's talking about.
00:54:08Right, brothers.
00:54:10I thought I'd hear myself say this, but he comes around with some intelligence.
00:54:13Here, listen, you're going to give a couple of bob for charity?
00:54:16Yeah, you know me.
00:54:17You're looking for a good cause.
00:54:18What's this?
00:54:19He's trying to save Wales.
00:54:21Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:54:22They don't get nothing.
00:54:23Not half the way they beat us at rugby last year.
00:54:25So, how's Cassandra?
00:54:32Is she pregnant yet?
00:54:34Don't like that to be either with that little git standing at the bottom of the bed.
00:54:37What little git's that?
00:54:38Um, oh, so, yes, Cassandra, she's got this big teddy bear.
00:54:44She's had it since she was a kid, you know, and it sort of sits at the bottom of the bed and puts me off.
00:54:48Silly mare.
00:54:49How would she like it if you had your Meccano set at the bottom of the bed, eh?
00:54:53Yeah, all right.
00:54:54Well, don't go on about it.
00:54:55It's personal.
00:54:56It's something that you...
00:54:56See you later, tree.
00:55:06All right.
00:55:07How's, uh, Damien and Raquel?
00:55:09All right.
00:55:10I'll take Damien up London tomorrow, show him the sights.
00:55:13Apparently his daddy's always been a bit too busy to do it himself.
00:55:15Yes, he is too busy.
00:55:17He's too busy out there earning the poppy to pay for the grub and the underfloor eating.
00:55:22Still crying, is she?
00:55:24Yes.
00:55:24All through yesterday afternoon and then all through tea time.
00:55:30Are you getting on your nerves?
00:55:32I'll tell you what's getting on your nerves, shall I?
00:55:34You are missing Raquel and Damien, and Damien and Raquel are missing you.
00:55:38But nobody, it seems, nobody has the intelligence to sort out a problem.
00:55:42I told you, all she's got to do is phone me.
00:55:45But she doesn't know how you feel.
00:55:47She thinks you want a life of shanting it up with your mates and going to casinos.
00:55:51She doesn't realise it was just a phase while you were putting a deal together because you never told her.
00:55:56Yeah, well, I had to play it close to my chest, didn't I?
00:55:58I didn't want words slipping out.
00:56:00But she don't know that.
00:56:01Yeah, well, that, you know, and what with my tooth and...
00:56:04No, no, you've had that out.
00:56:06Del, phone her and tell her.
00:56:08What, I've had my tooth out?
00:56:09No, phone her and tell her that you...
00:56:13Oh, tell her what you're bloody like, just phone her.
00:56:15All right, Rodney, I'll give her a bell.
00:56:18Hey, Odell, large scotch on the house.
00:56:21Oh, cheers.
00:56:22What are you doing?
00:56:23Don't go giving him large scotches on the house.
00:56:26Oh, I'm sorry, Rodney, I forgot.
00:56:28Odell, that's 185, son.
00:56:33You didn't even ask for it.
00:56:35Oh, hello.
00:56:39Hello, sweetheart.
00:56:40Listen, don't say a word.
00:56:41Just don't say anything.
00:56:42Just listen to me while I'm in the mood.
00:56:45Right?
00:56:47Now, I'm missing you, darling, and I want you to come home.
00:56:50Now, I know that I haven't been very fair to you in the past, but...
00:56:55Look, I can explain if you just give me the chance.
00:56:58I love you, and that will never change.
00:57:03Things will be different in the future.
00:57:06So, you know, what'd you say?
00:57:09Right?
00:57:11Oh, sorry, Cassandra.
00:57:14Yeah, I want to speak to Raquel.
00:57:18She's in the where?
00:57:19Oh, all right, I'll hang on.
00:57:25Oh, boy.
00:57:27Oh, hello, boysy.
00:57:28Who was that woman?
00:57:42Hmm?
00:57:45See you, mate, woman?
00:57:46That woman that just smiled at me.
00:57:48I didn't see anybody smiling at me.
00:57:49No one smiled at me all evening.
00:57:50Who do I know her face from?
00:57:53Oh, yeah.
00:57:54I remember Bronco, Marlene's brother.
00:57:56He was in hospital last year.
00:57:57We went to see him.
00:57:58That's where I saw it.
00:57:58All right.
00:57:59Let's clear that mystery up, then.
00:58:00Wait a minute, Bronco.
00:58:02Wasn't he in a psychiatric hospital?
00:58:05Yeah.
00:58:05Thanks.
00:58:09Hello?
00:58:15Hello?
00:58:17Hello, Raquel.
00:58:19How are you?
00:58:21Fine.
00:58:22You?
00:58:22Yeah, lovely.
00:58:25I'm missing you, darling.
00:58:27I'm missing you as well, you rotten sod.
00:58:30Come on in.
00:58:30Why don't you come home, eh?
00:58:32It's not as simple as that.
00:58:34Sweetheart, don't take too much notice of me in the last month.
00:58:37It's just been a one-off, that's all.
00:58:39What about the month before that?
00:58:40Yeah, well, that was a one-off and all.
00:58:42Well, I didn't like your attitude.
00:58:44You were willing to gamble with our housekeeping money,
00:58:47with our future in some grotty little South London casino.
00:58:50Oh, look, sweetheart, that's all in the past, I tell you.
00:58:52Look, no more casinos.
00:58:54No more pubs.
00:58:55Same again, Bill.
00:58:57Yeah, all right, Trigg, yeah.
00:58:59Yeah, just, you know, lemonade and a lime.
00:59:04Listen to me, stupid.
00:59:06I don't mind you going down the Nags Head,
00:59:08so long as it's not every night.
00:59:10And when you do go down there, I wouldn't mind going as well.
00:59:12Yeah, well, that's my thoughts entirely, sweetheart.
00:59:15Exactly.
00:59:15Well, just go down there.
00:59:16Just go down at weekends, you know, just to be sociable.
00:59:18Listen, I'll tell you what, sweetheart.
00:59:20If you're going to go out shopping,
00:59:22you get me a pair of those checkered slippers
00:59:23and underweight of ob-nob.
00:59:25No, because, you know, I'm a changed man.
00:59:28I am.
00:59:28I'll even take little Damien out, you know.
00:59:30No excuses.
00:59:32So, what do you reckon, sweetheart?
00:59:34Can I come and pick you up?
00:59:36Not right now.
00:59:36Damien's fast asleep.
00:59:38All right.
00:59:39What about first thing in the morning?
00:59:40I promised to take him up London, Madam Tussauds.
00:59:43Unless you'd like to come with us.
00:59:44Oh, no, no, I can't tomorrow, darling.
00:59:46I'm going to go and pick up all them Russian VCRs.
00:59:48Um, I'll pick you up tomorrow night, yeah?
00:59:51All right, then.
00:59:52All right.
00:59:54Raquel, say the magic words.
00:59:57Don't be silly.
00:59:58Go on, go on, Raquel.
01:00:01Say the magic words.
01:00:04I love you, Trotter.
01:00:06Yes!
01:00:07All right, darling, I'll pick you up tomorrow, all right?
01:00:12Ta-da.
01:00:15That is it, little boy.
01:00:17You're now a changed man.
01:00:19This is the first day of the rest of your life.
01:00:24Michael, bottle of your finest champagne, please.
01:00:27Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
01:00:41Just one voice
01:01:01Singing in the darkness
01:01:05All it takes is one voice
01:01:13Singing so I hear what's on your mind
01:01:17And then they took around your flight
01:01:20There's more than one voice
01:01:24Singing in the darkness
01:01:28Singing with your one voice
01:01:36No
01:01:39What's going on down there?
01:01:42If only one voice
01:01:47Would start it on its own
01:01:49What sort of graphics?
01:01:51It's Trotter, he's drunk again
01:01:53Try not to stay up on your bed, Derek
01:01:55And then that one voice
01:01:58Would never be alone
01:02:01Think that one voice
01:02:06Back up all your cares and woes
01:02:18Here I go
01:02:20Singing in the way
01:02:22Boy, boy, boy
01:02:25Why don't you shut up, man
01:02:26You're making it worse
01:02:27You want me to shut up
01:02:29Why don't you make me shut up
01:02:32Right, I'll shut that big mouth of yours
01:02:35Downstairs
01:02:36It's a fire you want
01:02:38Right
01:02:39I'm in for some of that
01:02:41Oh no, that's all we need
01:02:43Gelboy
01:02:47Gel, come in here
01:02:50I'm in for some of that
01:02:51I'm in for some of that
01:02:52Oh no
01:02:53Oh no
01:02:54Hello?
01:02:55Yeah
01:02:57Alright, bye bye
01:03:13Gelboy's singing in the precinct
01:03:25Gel's singing in the precinct
01:03:30I can't hear anything
01:03:33No
01:03:34That was Albert on the phone
01:03:36Del's singing on the estate
01:03:37It's quarter past two in the morning
01:03:41And Del's singing
01:03:42Why?
01:03:44I don't know
01:03:45You're working anyone up?
01:03:48Yeah
01:03:49You and me for a start
01:03:50Yeah, Albert, why is Del singing?
01:03:56Yeah
01:03:56Hmm
01:03:58Mm-hmm
01:04:00Alright
01:04:02No, he don't know either
01:04:05What do you mean come round?
01:04:09What do you want me to do?
01:04:10Harmonise with him?
01:04:13Albert, there's not a song in the world
01:04:15Del knows all the words to
01:04:16So he'll be finished in a minute, won't he?
01:04:19No, I'm not coming round
01:04:21I'll see you tomorrow
01:04:22I can't believe him
01:04:25I'd better go round and see what's that
01:04:33It takes that one voice
01:04:46Just one voice
01:04:51Singing in the darkness
01:04:57All it takes is one voice
01:05:03Shout it out and let it ring
01:05:07Just one voice
01:05:14It takes that one voice
01:05:21And everyone will sing
01:05:30What's happening now, Ruddy?
01:05:47What's happening?
01:05:48They're rioting again
01:05:49That's what's happening
01:05:50Why don't you have a look for yourself?
01:05:53You're joking
01:05:54I might get a brick gun through the window
01:05:56We're on the 12th bloody floor round
01:05:58What do you think they've done?
01:06:01Invited Jeff Capes along?
01:06:03Mrs Murphy said
01:06:04They've brought the horses out
01:06:05Yeah, they have
01:06:06Police have gone to get theirs now
01:06:08Oi, oi, oi, oi
01:06:13Can't you turn that telly down?
01:06:15I'm in here
01:06:15I'm trying to get some sleep
01:06:16I don't believe it
01:06:17Oi
01:06:18Would you have a look out our window
01:06:20And see what's happening?
01:06:22Well, what's the matter now?
01:06:23It's a full-scale inner-city riot
01:06:26Going on downstairs
01:06:27They're all there, Del
01:06:29The SPGs
01:06:30Snatch squads
01:06:31Looters
01:06:31People who want to get on telly
01:06:33And unless I'm very much mistaken
01:06:35Kate Adie
01:06:36Oh well
01:06:41What started them all off again then?
01:06:43You!
01:06:45Me, what have I done?
01:06:46You've been singing, Del
01:06:47Singing? Me?
01:06:49Now don't try and deny it, son
01:06:50Cos I heard ya
01:06:51Singing?
01:06:53Oh yeah, that's
01:06:54No, wait a minute
01:06:54I remember now
01:06:55That's right
01:06:55I was celebrating, Rodney
01:06:56Raquel and Damien are coming home
01:06:58Oh, well that's a good reason
01:07:00For a civil war, innit?
01:07:02Well, I was feeling a bit euphoric
01:07:04What's more natural than to
01:07:06Give the vent your joy
01:07:07With a little song, eh?
01:07:08It was one voice
01:07:09Singing in the darkness
01:07:11Yeah, I'll cut them now
01:07:12There's bloody thousands of them
01:07:13Alright
01:07:15Okay
01:07:16I'm sorry
01:07:18Oh, well that's alright then
01:07:20Look at it, Albert
01:07:21Alright, what do you want me to do?
01:07:23You tell me what I should do
01:07:24And I'll do it
01:07:24Oh, well why don't you just stand out
01:07:25On the balcony and shout
01:07:26Stop it
01:07:27Oh, don't be ridiculous
01:07:28They won't take no notice of that
01:07:29Will they?
01:07:31I'll tell you what I'm going to do
01:07:32I'm going to get dressed
01:07:34And I'm going to go down now
01:07:35Aye?
01:07:36Hey, listen
01:07:37What are you going to do?
01:07:38Are you going to try and talk
01:07:39Sensing to them?
01:07:40No
01:07:41I'm going to flog them
01:07:42Some of this ski gear
01:07:43There we are
01:07:49Lovely chubby
01:07:51Come on in
01:07:52Off we go
01:07:53Are you going to check them?
01:07:59Hmm?
01:08:00I don't have to
01:08:01I know what's in them
01:08:01Those are Russell's video recorders
01:08:03Isn't it?
01:08:03No, mate
01:08:03Aren't they going to check their archive?
01:08:05Yeah, I've had a look at one
01:08:06They've got buttons and lights and things
01:08:08They seem kosher to me
01:08:09Go on, get it in there
01:08:10Wait, look at that woman
01:08:22That woman
01:08:22There
01:08:23What's the matter with you?
01:08:28Hmm?
01:08:30I don't know
01:08:30Forget it
01:08:31Come on, hurry up, Rodney
01:08:33Let's get all this stuff down to the garage
01:08:35And I've got to go and pick up Raquel and Damien
01:08:37From your place
01:08:38You all right
01:08:39Yes, yeah, come on
01:08:41I saw the riot on TV this morning
01:08:54What started it this time?
01:08:57I know
01:08:57Seems to be the slightest little thing
01:09:00Starts it all off these days
01:09:01Still
01:09:03It was all nice and quiet
01:09:06When I left this evening
01:09:07Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go
01:09:37Oh, my God.
01:10:07Oh, my God.
01:10:37Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.
01:10:42It's snowboard.
01:10:43It's snowboard.
01:10:49Come through, Mel.
01:10:58Hey, Texo. I've got that VCR that goes with your camera.
01:11:14Nice one, Del. We'll be around tomorrow.
01:11:15Hey, Alex. Tell your sister I've got her video recorder.
01:11:21Right, Del. I'll tell her she's going to go out for tea.
01:11:23Lovely-doubly.
01:11:24I'll tell her she's going to go out for tea.
01:11:29I'll tell her she's going to go out for tea.
01:11:31I'll tell her she's going to go out for tea.
01:11:45Okay.
01:12:16Oh, Del, this is Beverly.
01:12:28Beverly, this is my, well, this is Del.
01:12:32Hi.
01:12:34Hi.
01:12:36Watch her.
01:12:39Beverly's interested in Damien's high chair.
01:12:42How'd she find out about that?
01:12:44I saw an ad in the newsagent's window.
01:12:46I was out the other night on my own.
01:12:49You know, nothing to do.
01:12:51Oh, yeah.
01:12:52It's for my daughter's baby.
01:12:54His name's Damien as well.
01:12:56Christy.
01:12:57Could you deliver it later today?
01:12:59Yeah, yeah, I suppose so, yeah.
01:13:01Del, Beverly might not be able to afford the full amount.
01:13:03Do you think we could come to some arrangement with her?
01:13:05Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.
01:13:06Well, I'll leave that up to you, sweetheart.
01:13:08Look, I just remembered I've got to go out and meet someone.
01:13:12Yeah.
01:13:13Nice meeting you.
01:13:16Yeah.
01:13:17Bye.
01:13:19It's not usually like that.
01:13:21Must be pressure of business.
01:13:24Hmm.
01:13:24Rodney.
01:13:28Rodney.
01:13:29Rodney's got a problem.
01:13:31I've got a big problem.
01:13:33Do you know that woman that we saw in the market the other day?
01:13:36The one who wasn't there?
01:13:37Yes, that one.
01:13:38She's only haunting me, Rodney.
01:13:40She's only bloody haunting me.
01:13:41Haunting?
01:13:42What do you mean haunting her?
01:13:43She's haunting me.
01:13:44She is the one that I made a date with and then gave her the elbow.
01:13:49And ever since then, she's everywhere that I look.
01:13:52And the other night, she was here.
01:13:53She was here.
01:13:53She was here in the pub.
01:13:54And then this morning, I was driving down the road,
01:13:56and she was standing there by a bus stop.
01:13:58And then she was in the market the other day.
01:14:00Do you remember?
01:14:00You saw her.
01:14:01No, I didn't.
01:14:02Yeah.
01:14:02See what I mean?
01:14:04And today, to top it all, today, I went home, and she's in my flat.
01:14:09Was she doing in your flat?
01:14:10Oh, she said that she'd come to buy Damien's high chair.
01:14:12If she thinks I'm going to believe that, she's got another thing coming.
01:14:15Why did she know it was for sale?
01:14:16She said that she saw the ad that I placed in the newsagents.
01:14:20Oh, that is a bit far-fetched, isn't it?
01:14:23Exactly.
01:14:24You crack me up, you two.
01:14:26Let's have a look at the facts, shall we?
01:14:28So, she was in this pub.
01:14:29Now, maybe, just maybe, she was having a drink.
01:14:33And then you saw her in the market lunchtime.
01:14:35Do you reckon she might have been shopping?
01:14:38Bit of a coincidence, though, that, innit?
01:14:40And then you saw her waiting at a bus stop.
01:14:42Now, this is just a hunch, though.
01:14:44But do you reckon there is an outside chance that she might have been waiting for a bus?
01:14:49Well, I don't know, do I?
01:14:50I'll tell you what I do know, though.
01:14:52She is an ex-psychiatric patient.
01:14:56So?
01:14:57So, she is a jealous woman, Rodney, a woman scorned.
01:15:02Now, jealous women are no problem to me, normally.
01:15:05You know, I mean, I can handle all that.
01:15:07But this one is a jealous woman who's an olive short of a pizza.
01:15:13And she knows where we live.
01:15:15We could all wake up one morning and find we were skilled while we were asleep.
01:15:19You're just letting your imagination run away with you.
01:15:22Does she see him holding any way?
01:15:25I don't know.
01:15:26You can judge for yourself.
01:15:28You've got to go and deliver the high chair.
01:15:31Well, I've got to go.
01:15:32Because I've got a wife and kid.
01:15:34Yeah, but I've got a wife and...
01:15:37For mum it up.
01:15:43Raquel?
01:15:45Raquel, where are you?
01:15:46Raquel?
01:15:46Raquel?
01:15:47Raquel?
01:15:48Raquel?
01:15:48Raquel?
01:15:49Raquel?
01:15:49Raquel?
01:15:49Raquel?
01:15:49Raquel?
01:15:49Raquel?
01:15:50Raquel?
01:15:50Raquel?
01:15:51Raquel?
01:15:52Raquel?
01:15:52Raquel?
01:15:52Raquel?
01:15:53Raquel?
01:15:53Raquel?
01:15:55Raquel?
01:15:56Raquel?
01:15:57Raquel?
01:15:58Raquel?
01:15:59Raquel?
01:16:00Raquel?
01:16:01Raquel?
01:16:02Raquel?
01:16:03Raquel?
01:16:04Raquel?
01:16:05Raquel?
01:16:06Raquel?
01:16:07Raquel?
01:16:08Raquel?
01:16:09Raquel?
01:16:10Raquel?
01:16:11Raquel?
01:16:12Raquel?
01:16:13Raquel?
01:16:14Raquel?
01:16:15Raquel?
01:16:16Raquel?
01:16:17Oh, no.
01:16:26Oh, my God!
01:16:30Look!
01:16:33Albert's boiling his pants again.
01:16:38What's wrong, Del?
01:16:40Where's the gerbil?
01:16:42In Damien's room. He's playing with it.
01:16:44Del, what is wrong with you?
01:16:45I've got to sort this all out. I've got to sort it all out.
01:16:50I've got to go out, darling.
01:16:52I've got to meet someone.
01:17:08Right, now you listen to what I've got to say.
01:17:10You leave me and my family alone.
01:17:12Come on. You don't frighten me. I'm not scared of you.
01:17:15Shh!
01:17:16Mr. James.
01:17:19What's wrong with you, you moron?
01:17:21Oh, just a couple of fillings.
01:17:22You were following me.
01:17:35Well, I've been following you.
01:17:36Yes.
01:17:37I thought it was the other way round.
01:17:39Everywhere I go, I see you.
01:17:41I go in the pub with my daughter and son-in-law, and you're there.
01:17:44I'm waiting for a bus, and you drive by.
01:17:47I go and do a bit of lunchtime shopping in the market, and surprise, surprise, there you are again.
01:17:53I even went to buy a second-hand high chair, and you walked in.
01:17:57I live there.
01:17:58OK, I'll let you off that one.
01:18:00Right.
01:18:02Listen.
01:18:03I think, Mr. Trotter, our wires have become crossed somewhere along the line.
01:18:08But you were in a psychiatric hospital.
01:18:10Yes.
01:18:11Oh, don't try and deny it.
01:18:13No, that friend of mine was visiting a relative there, and he saw you.
01:18:18Oh, yes.
01:18:19I work there as a receptionist.
01:18:24I'm a medical receptionist.
01:18:26It's what I do, see?
01:18:28So, you...
01:18:29You weren't following me.
01:18:31Good God.
01:18:31Do you think I'm hard up?
01:18:33No.
01:18:34Now, understand this, Mr. Trotter.
01:18:37If you follow me, or come to my place of work and pester me again,
01:18:40I'm going to go to court, take out an injunction against you.
01:18:43Don't you worry, darling.
01:18:44This is the last we'll hear of each other.
01:18:46Good.
01:18:48Oh, and by the way, I suppose I should have expected as much.
01:18:50But that high chair's got a screw loose.
01:18:55Well, tighten it.
01:19:06Leave me on, sweetheart.
01:19:07Go on, then.
01:19:08Get that down, yeah.
01:19:10Oh, that was a lovely dinner, Achille.
01:19:13Thanks.
01:19:14Another drink, Cassandra.
01:19:15Better not.
01:19:16I'm doing the driving.
01:19:18Oh.
01:19:18Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
01:19:20Come on.
01:19:20You can stay over.
01:19:21We've got plenty of room.
01:19:23We can all mix in, can't we?
01:19:24Shall we?
01:19:25Yeah, let's enjoy ourselves, eh?
01:19:27Yes, that's it.
01:19:29You know it makes sense.
01:19:32Oh, darling, shall I put your tubular bells on?
01:19:34No, no, not yet, Del.
01:19:36All right, all right.
01:19:37She loves that tubular bells.
01:19:40Hey, come on, champ.
01:19:41It's bedtime for you.
01:19:43Come along.
01:19:43That's it.
01:19:44Come, let's go to bed.
01:19:45That's it, boy.
01:19:46Off we go.
01:19:48Good night.
01:19:49Good night.
01:19:49All right.
01:19:50Good night.
01:19:50Say good night.
01:19:51Good night.
01:19:53Giddy, lovely.
01:19:54Look at that, he's only ten.
01:19:56Here we go.
01:19:58Which is your room, then?
01:20:00So what did you get, Del, for Christmas?
01:20:02I got him one of those answering machines he's always on about.
01:20:05That'll save me getting any more rollikings for forgetting messages.
01:20:09Really, you know, this is quite a good one.
01:20:11How much did this cost, John?
01:20:12Shh.
01:20:13It didn't actually cost anything.
01:20:14I swapped it for Damien's high chair.
01:20:16Yeah?
01:20:17Yeah, you know, I reckon you've got a good deal there.
01:20:20Does it work?
01:20:24Hello, Beverly, this is Del Boyer.
01:20:25Um, listen, I'm sorry, I've got to cancel our date tonight.
01:20:32Um, you know, I've got to give you a call, sir.
01:20:36Right?
01:20:37Bon, sure.
01:20:40Watch out, trotters about.
01:20:42Hey, watch out, trotters about.
01:20:45Hey, watch out, trotters about.
01:20:50Hey, come on, smile.
01:20:55Come on, sweetheart.
01:20:59Don't touch me, trotter.
01:21:01Don't come near me.
01:21:02Don't even look at me.
01:21:04What have you said to her, Rodney?
01:21:06Me?
01:21:07I haven't said anything.
01:21:08Don't try and blame Rodney.
01:21:09It's nothing to do with him.
01:21:11Don't look at me either, son.
01:21:12I'm keeping out of this.
01:21:14Look, oh, here you are, Raquel.
01:21:16Are you feeling better now, darling?
01:21:18Hey, Raquel, that could have hit me.
01:21:19It was meant to hit you.
01:21:21Holy infant, so tender and mild.
01:21:29Say, hear me, are you, please?
01:21:37Say, hear me, pay for me.
01:21:42Will someone tell me what have I done?
01:21:50What have I done?
01:22:12No income tax, no VAT
01:22:17No money back, no guarantee
01:22:20Black or white, rich or broke
01:22:23We'll cut prices and a straw
01:22:27God bless Hooky Street
01:22:31Viva Hooky Street
01:22:34Long live Hooky Street
01:22:37Same and defeat Hooky Street
01:22:40Magnifique Hooky Street
01:22:43Hooky Street
01:22:47Hooky Street
01:22:50Hooky Street
01:22:53Hooky Street