- 1 day ago
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00:00Stick a pony in me pocket
00:30Why do only fools and horses work
00:33La la la la la la la la la la.
00:39La la la la la la la la la la.
00:42La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la.
00:47You all right, Unc?
00:57Oh, yeah.
01:00I ain't stopped since you went out.
01:04How's the audition going?
01:06Don't ask. Just don't ask.
01:08He got me up on the stage singing I'm going to the chapel and I'm going to get married.
01:12I mean, look at me.
01:13Well, I reckon it was your choice of song, Raquel, you see.
01:17I think next time we should choose something a bit more modern,
01:21like one of the Madonna numbers, you know?
01:23How about like a virgin?
01:26That's it, yeah, something like that.
01:27Hey, come on, listen, you shouldn't be standing up in your condition, should you?
01:31Now, come on, come and sit down. Sit down over here.
01:33Come and sit in this chair because it's nice and warm.
01:40I was going to make some tea.
01:42No, no, no, don't you worry about that.
01:44I'll make a pot of tea. Rodney, make a pot of tea.
01:47Now, come on, I've got to do it.
01:48Because Raquel is pregnant and your uncle's knackered. Now, go on.
01:52Yeah, and I'm supposed to be out of work.
01:54Not compulsory, Rodney. Government do allow you to make a pot of tea.
01:58And what I'm saying, Unc, is what about Brian Epstein here?
02:01Look, I've got all the correspondents to catch up with, haven't I?
02:04Oh, what, one letter?
02:06And as for Raquel, I'll make the tea.
02:09Honestly, it's all right for some little dipstick, isn't it, eh?
02:12They go and jolly up down the pub every night
02:14and then crawl out of bed when he hears the theme tune to Home and Away.
02:17But me, I'm a captain of industry, me, aren't I, eh?
02:21I deal with clients at organisations, I household names.
02:25Oh, yeah. Like Parkhurst.
02:28Rodney, none of my mates are in Parkhurst.
02:30Captain of industry.
02:33More like a bloody stowaway.
02:35I mean, you really get off on this yuppie trick, don't you?
02:38So, what's the latest brainwave?
02:40Fax machines.
02:41They're handy things to add, Rodney.
02:43Oh, yes, for normal people, Uncle, yes.
02:46But he don't know anybody else who's got another fax machine.
02:51And that is why, in the two months he's been wired up
02:54to the worldwide digital miracle, he ain't had one message.
02:59You've got a message on your fax machine, don't you?
03:03So, what does it feel like being a plonker then, Rodney, eh?
03:07This message, it could have come from anywhere in the world.
03:09This could have come from Rome, New York, Tokyo.
03:13Oh, it's from Mike at the Nags Head.
03:17Yes, he had the foresight, you see, to buy one of my machines,
03:20and I bet he's double glad that he did.
03:23God, blimey enough, a moaner though, ain't he, eh?
03:25Look at this, it's...
03:26This message starts, machine, no working prop.
03:29God, no.
03:30What does he expect for 45 quid, eh?
03:33Oh, yeah, that's interesting.
03:36Here, listen to this.
03:37I've only invited to a school reunion tonight.
03:40You're kidding.
03:41No, no, no, straight up.
03:42It's for the pupils of Class 4C,
03:44who left the Martin Luther King Comprehensive in 1962.
03:48Here, that used to be the old dockside secondary modern.
03:51Yeah, that's a turn up for the book, isn't it?
03:53I've got to see all my old schoolmates.
03:54Yeah.
03:55Did you suffer from seasickness?
03:57No, why's it?
03:57Well, it just gets very choppy on the Isle of Wight ferry, you know.
04:00For the last time, Rodney, my mates are not in Parkhurst.
04:05Anyway, it's not...
04:06Look, it's in the Nags Head tonight.
04:08Why don't you come along anyway?
04:09Might cheer yourself up, you miserable devil.
04:11Hey, Raquel, guess what?
04:13Listen, you'll never guess.
04:14I've only been invited to a school reunion tonight at the old Nags Head.
04:18That'll be nice for you.
04:19Yeah, it'll be great, won't it, eh?
04:20What's that?
04:21Nothing.
04:22Hey, come on, come on.
04:23Let's say something up.
04:24Something's bothering you.
04:25I can tell.
04:26Now, here, was it that audition?
04:28Because if it was, look, that geyser was right out of order.
04:30No, no, no, it's nothing to do with that.
04:31It's this letter.
04:32Oh.
04:33It's from my solicitors.
04:34They've managed to trace my husband's whereabouts
04:35and told him that I've started divorce proceedings.
04:38Oh, well, that's good then, isn't it, eh?
04:39What's he say?
04:40His solicitors say that he is considering his response.
04:44Oh, that's all right.
04:45What's wrong with that?
04:46I mean, you know, you've been apart for eight years, haven't you?
04:49And all that time.
04:50Have you ever seen him or heard anything from him?
04:52No, nothing.
04:53You don't know him like I do, Dale.
04:55He can be horrible when he wants to be.
04:56I wish you'd never suggested starting divorce proceedings.
05:00Now, don't go on about that.
05:02Come on.
05:02That girl's going to be all right, isn't it?
05:04I mean, he can't do you any harm, can he, eh?
05:07Because he doesn't even know where you live.
05:09And even if he did know where you live,
05:12he'd have to go through me first.
05:14Eh?
05:15So you just forget it.
05:16You let the solicitors solicit, eh?
05:21Because I want us to be pucker.
05:24I want to be married and all the exes.
05:27Right.
05:28Because I know that little faceache in there,
05:30he weren't planned, but, well, he's here now, isn't he?
05:32Or her?
05:33Yeah, or her.
05:35You know what?
05:37If I'd...
05:38If I was any happier, I'd be...
05:40I'd be dangerous.
05:42Because, you see, you and him...
05:43Or her...
05:44One of the best things that's ever happened to me.
05:49Since...
05:50Well, since me mum died.
05:55You understand what I'm saying?
05:57Well, I think so.
05:59Yeah, well, don't worry, eh?
06:01I promise.
06:03All right, Dale.
06:04You know best.
06:05That's it.
06:06Good girl.
06:06You know it makes sense.
06:07Because I'd do anything for you, you know?
06:09Anything.
06:10Anything?
06:11Yeah.
06:12All right.
06:13Promise me you won't get drunk with your mates tonight.
06:20On your bike.
06:26Well, this is bloody ridiculous.
06:28The reunion's supposed to start at half past seven,
06:30and look at it, it's almost ten past eight.
06:32Who organised this reunion anyway?
06:34What?
06:35Ain't he here yet?
06:36Who?
06:37Your host.
06:37The bloke was paying for all this.
06:39Said he was going to arrive late.
06:41Think he wants to make an entrance.
06:43Surprise you all.
06:44Who is it, Mike?
06:44Come on, who is it?
06:45Who is it?
06:45I don't know, Dale.
06:46He just came in yesterday.
06:47He said he wanted a room for a school reunion.
06:50Oh, I want to have a word with you
06:51about that fax machine you sold me.
06:53Yes, yes, yes.
06:54All right, Michael.
06:54You know, I'm busy at the moment.
06:56I'll fax you about it during the week.
06:58So what was this bloke's name?
07:01I don't know.
07:01I didn't catch it.
07:02Well, didn't you get his name on your receipt
07:04and in your accounts?
07:04Hmm.
07:05Er, no.
07:06No, I forgot.
07:07In other words, he paid cash.
07:09Yeah, yeah, that's right.
07:11Well, what was he like?
07:12Was he tall?
07:13Yeah, tall-ish.
07:15Here, he didn't have a scar.
07:16Did he run in front of the bridge of his nose
07:17right down to the corner of his mouth?
07:19And his right ear was missing?
07:20No, er, not that I noticed, no.
07:24It ain't our old headmaster, then.
07:27It'd be our old headmaster.
07:29Doctor said he'd never be allowed back into society.
07:31All right.
07:32All right.
07:32All right.
07:32All right.
07:32All right.
07:33All right.
07:33All right.
07:39Trigger!
07:40All right.
07:41Yeah.
07:41Is it you?
07:42Is it you, Trigger, that organised all this?
07:44Oh, turn it up, Del Boy.
07:45Trigger couldn't organise a prayer in a mosque.
07:47I got lost on my way here.
07:52You've been coming to this pub since you were 16.
07:55I know.
07:56I found a pub, all right.
07:57I mean, I couldn't find this room.
07:59I'll be standing in your dance hall for the last hour.
08:03All the lights are out, Trigger.
08:05I know.
08:09You've been standing in the dock for an hour?
08:12Yeah.
08:12I thought we was all going to jump out and surprise someone.
08:18But there's no one else in there.
08:21I didn't know that, did I?
08:22The lights were out.
08:25How you going, Dave?
08:27All right, sir?
08:28Well, I'll send your man up as soon as he arrives.
08:30In the meantime, all enjoy yourselves, lads.
08:37It's a bit of a mystery, all this, isn't it?
08:39It's like something out of one of them Agatha Christie films.
08:42Yeah.
08:43I used to fancy her.
08:45I mean, when you think about it, it's all right.
08:47Just think.
08:49Somebody has arranged for you four to be in this room at the same time.
08:54You used to fancy Agatha Christie?
08:56Yeah.
08:57I had a picture of her on my bedroom wall.
08:59She was an old lady.
09:01All English country gardens and granny hats.
09:03Yeah, she looked a bit like Mr Kipling's bit on the side.
09:07Well, I fancied her.
09:08I saw her in that film, Dr Zhivago.
09:11That's Julie Prister, you fuck.
09:15Yeah, well, whatever.
09:16I liked her.
09:18As I was saying,
09:19on a cold, rainy night in Peckham,
09:23somebody has arranged for you four
09:26to be in this room at the same time.
09:29And nobody knows who.
09:30And the most important and frightening aspect of the entire mystery.
09:36Nobody knows why.
09:39Now, think of it.
09:41Who would do something like that?
09:43Jeremy Beedle?
09:56Jeremy bloody Beedle!
09:58Don't be stupid.
10:00Here, Rodney.
10:01Now, you're trying to frighten us.
10:03Now, pack it in, because it won't work.
10:04Well, that's it.
10:05I'm off.
10:05Sit down, Denzel.
10:06You're not going anywhere.
10:06Look, listen.
10:07I wasn't even at your school for long.
10:10Me mum and dad didn't even come down to London till I was 13.
10:13I don't really feel I qualify as one of the old boys.
10:16Did you get an invitation?
10:17Yeah.
10:18Then you're staying.
10:19Well, it's just that I've got this thought going around me head.
10:22Well, lend it to Trigger.
10:23Just say.
10:28Just say.
10:29Our old headmaster has escaped.
10:35Yeah, I'm going to get me caught up.
10:36I'll bet you go and check on Uncle Alcrow.
10:37No, no, no, no.
10:47Just shut up, will you?
10:53Oh, God, it's our old headmaster. It's Bendover Benson.
10:58If it is, he's grown another ear from somewhere.
11:03Surprise, surprise!
11:06Slater!
11:07I had you this time, didn't I? Be honest, I had you going.
11:11Tell me, the last person you guessed will be here tonight was Roy Slater, eh?
11:18Slater, what are you doing back here?
11:21Come on, Dale, I'm going to do a lot of trouble here.
11:23You mean you organise this reunion?
11:25Yeah, I was in town, thought it would be a nice way to catch up with a few mates.
11:30I hear Marlene's had a nipper.
11:32What about it?
11:33Well, nothing. Just congratulations.
11:36I know you and her have been dreaming of having a baby for years.
11:40It's, uh, it's nice.
11:43And Rodney!
11:44What?
11:45You got married!
11:47I know.
11:48Look, you don't have to be on the defensive with me, son, I'm pleased for you.
11:51Yeah, well, the marriage didn't really work.
11:54Rodney, don't you say a word.
11:56You'll only hold it against her.
11:57Look, Dale.
11:58I didn't come here to upset things.
12:00It's just a little get-together, that's all.
12:02Can't we at least be friendly?
12:05Friendly, eh?
12:06Well, it's snide like you.
12:08I wish it had been our old headmaster now.
12:09I wish it had been Jeremy Beedle.
12:11I thought you were in Parkhurst.
12:16I got parole six months ago.
12:18You're back in the police force now, Roy.
12:23No, Treg, no.
12:25They wouldn't have me back.
12:27Not after I was convicted of diamond smuggling and given a five-year prison sentence.
12:32Police are funny about things like that.
12:35I've been living in Colchester, working for an undertaker.
12:38Hence the coat.
12:38I was looking on your faces.
12:41I wish I brought my tape measure with me.
12:43You fancy a drink?
12:44Not for me, Roy.
12:46I've got a prior engagement with the downstairs toilet.
12:50Save yourself a journey, boys.
12:51See the biggest cars, he's up here, look.
12:54I've got to go home and all chief inspector.
12:56My uncle promised he'd tell me all about the war.
12:59Wait a minute.
13:00Let's get a few things straight.
13:02I'm not a chief inspector anymore.
13:04I'm just an ordinary bloke.
13:05Look, I don't mean you any harm and I can't do you any harm.
13:09I know you'll laugh, but I've changed.
13:13You've changed.
13:14Pull the other one.
13:16A man doesn't go to this expense without good reason.
13:19I know it might sound ridiculous, but if it were possible, I'd like to wipe the slate clean.
13:26Wipe the slate clean?
13:27After what you've done to us, in the past you've fitted every one of us up on Mickey Mouse charges.
13:32I know, Del.
13:33I know.
13:34And that's why I kept the guest list to just you lot.
13:37Because you're the ones who deserve my biggest apologies.
13:42I wish I could turn the clock back.
13:44Yeah, so do I.
13:45To our six this evening.
13:46I've got to stay in and watch the telly.
13:48You fitted up me, Boise and Denzel, on possession of stolen goods.
13:54Yeah, and we bought them off you.
13:58No.
14:00And I'm sorry.
14:02Sorry.
14:03Yeah, well, with all due respect, ex-chief inspector, you can stuff your apologies.
14:08Yeah, and I remember the time you followed me in the van and you nicked me for doing 70 miles an hour in a built-up area.
14:14It was just my word against this, and guess who the magistrate believed?
14:17I mean, you couldn't get that van to do 70 miles an hour if you pushed it off a cliff.
14:24Rodney, I'm sorry.
14:26Yeah, well, shove it, Slater, right?
14:29Just shove it.
14:31And what about the time you planted 3,000 green shield stamps on Trigger,
14:35and he got put away for 18 months in a young offender's home, eh?
14:39I'm sorry, Trig.
14:41Oh, that's all right, Roy.
14:42You see, I always wanted to be mates with you lot, but you sort of spurned me.
14:50So I wanted to hurt you for not liking me.
14:54You know, if you can't join them, beat them.
14:57That was my attitude.
14:58So the police force become my god.
15:02But in the end, even my own colleagues got sick of me and my ambitions.
15:06I knew my days were numbered.
15:09I began to panic.
15:11I felt as if the whole thing was coming to a premature conclusion.
15:15No pun intended, Boise.
15:16I was worried about my future, financial security, that sort of thing.
15:27I turned to crime.
15:30I got myself involved in that diamond smuggling caper.
15:34And, as I of all people should know, I got a collar.
15:37I spent three and a half years in a ten-foot by six-foot prison cell, trying to work out where I'd gone wrong in life.
15:52Whilst in prison, I found Jesus.
15:57What had they fitted him up with?
16:02To be more precise, Jesus found me.
16:05It was round about the time that I got a message
16:08to say that me old man had passed away.
16:15Yeah, I know, Roy.
16:16I went to his funeral.
16:19Thanks, Del.
16:21I wish I could have gone.
16:23Why, didn't you?
16:27Everyone probably didn't have a black suit and a bloody big ladder.
16:30He was in Nick Trick.
16:31Yeah, but I thought they let you out for acts of God, like funerals and weddings.
16:35I applied for temporary compassionate release.
16:39My mum wrote to the prison governor.
16:41And he wouldn't let you go?
16:42Not after what that old cow put in a letter.
16:46It's pathetic, isn't it?
16:47Even my own mum's against it.
16:50Well...
16:51Perhaps this reunion wants such a good idea after all.
16:57You all look a bit embarrassed.
16:58Go on, you shoot off.
17:02I'll hang around.
17:03I'm going to sort out the money with the governor.
17:09All right, Slate.
17:10Roy.
17:12I'll have a drink with you.
17:13Come on.
17:14Oh, thanks, Del.
17:16What about you other fellas?
17:18Would you break bread with me?
17:20I'd prefer a Southern Comfort.
17:21Have you two gone mad?
17:25Oh, come on.
17:25Look at him.
17:26He's only an Undertaker's tea boy now, isn't he?
17:28Yeah.
17:29And he's still putting bodies away.
17:32You don't honestly believe he's changed, do you?
17:35Well, personally, I'm not sure.
17:38But I'm always willing to give that somebody a chance.
17:41I'll get a large one, Roy.
17:42All right, I'll have a lager.
17:45Trigger?
17:46Yeah, all right, I'll have a beer.
17:49How can you drink with Slater
17:50when that's the man who sticks you up
17:53over those knocked-off stamps
17:54and put you away for 18 months?
17:55I know.
17:56But when I come out,
17:57I've got an electric blanket and a radio with me.
18:06Fancy a cognac?
18:09I ain't quick.
18:09Yes, yes, it's very simple, Marlene.
18:16When you bring Raquel back here,
18:18you can pick me up.
18:20No, I am not drunk.
18:23Nobody is drunk.
18:25It is.
18:25No, I'm not that, probably.
18:27You promised your love
18:28and you wouldn't get drunk, though.
18:30Why do women always say don't get drunk?
18:33Hey, it's the nature, isn't it?
18:34My Kareem was always going on about it
18:36until she left me.
18:37Yeah, and my Cassandra.
18:39My Ada was the same.
18:41And I wonder why their marriages break up.
18:44Take my advice.
18:45The only way to avoid a broken marriage
18:47is don't turn up for the wedding.
18:51All right, keep the noise down.
18:52The women might hear.
18:53We don't want them to know
18:54we're enjoying ourselves, do we?
18:56No.
18:57Yes, I have had a couple of drinks.
19:02Well, it's a bloody reunion, isn't it?
19:05Yes, all right.
19:06I'll see you in a minute.
19:07Do you have any other drink, boys?
19:11Uh, no.
19:12Marlene will be here in a moment.
19:14I will get my coat.
19:16No, it's funny.
19:17I've been through all these photos of the boys
19:19enjoying themselves at various stages of their lives.
19:23And I'm not in one of them.
19:25Well, you were busy, weren't you, Roy?
19:28I mean, when that one was taken,
19:29you were at police training college.
19:31Yeah.
19:32And when that one was taken, you was nicked.
19:35I suppose it was tough for you on the inside, eh?
19:38Especially when they found out you were an ex-copper.
19:40Oh, you don't know the half of it.
19:41It was a nightmare.
19:42Every mealtime, they'd line up against the wall as I'd passed.
19:46Snide, snide, they'd whisper.
19:48We're gonna get you, snide.
19:50Hope your wife can sow, Slater.
19:52Didn't the warders do nothing?
19:53That was the warders.
19:54The convicts really had it in for me.
19:5824 hours a day watching your back.
20:00Especially in the shower room.
20:02I've heard there's a lot of bandidos in there.
20:04Oh, yeah.
20:06No wonder Oscar Wilde wrote a poem about it.
20:08You wouldn't believe what they'd sell for a king-sized fag
20:10in a book of matches.
20:12Unfortunately, they didn't give me any problems.
20:14I mean, these days, even the puffs don't fancy me.
20:19Oh, wait a minute.
20:20Hang on, Roy.
20:21Here's one.
20:22Here's a photograph.
20:23Look at you, innit?
20:24Go on, look at that.
20:26It's the old school football team, look.
20:28Oh, look at that.
20:30How old were we then?
20:32Fourteen?
20:34Hey, look, there's little Del Boy in his Roger Daltrey haircut.
20:38Yeah.
20:38That was a midfield dynamo, me.
20:40I used to play like Paul Gascoigne.
20:42The one next to me is Boise.
20:43He used to play like Bamber Gascoigne.
20:45There's that Italian kid.
20:49Good player.
20:49What was his name?
20:51Oh, hello.
20:52That will be Marlene.
20:54I'd better be off.
20:55Give us a lift home, will you, Boise?
20:57Yeah, me too, Boise.
20:58Oh, yes, of course.
20:59I'm running a bleeding minicab service.
21:00Hello.
21:01Hello.
21:02See you, Denzel.
21:03My turn off, Roy.
21:04Yeah, see you, Trude.
21:05See you.
21:06See you, Roy.
21:06See you, Denzel.
21:07Yes, cheerio, Roy.
21:10See you around.
21:11Yeah, we'll have a drink in the week, eh?
21:12Oh, yes, I'll be in the pub sometime or another.
21:16Oh, good.
21:16It's a date, then.
21:16Ah, I'll tell you what, Roy.
21:22I'll get a copy of this photo, if you like.
21:26Must have been the last time that you were with all your old mates, wasn't it, this?
21:30Girl, look at that.
21:32Those were the days, weren't they, eh?
21:35We had Denzel in goal.
21:38We had Monkey Harris left back.
21:40We had...
21:41We had Cameraderie.
21:45Was that the Italian boy?
21:46Yes.
21:51Yes, Trude, that was the Italian boy.
21:53Come along, Trigger.
21:57Cameraderie, the Italian boy, eh?
21:59You want to have a drink, then, Rodney?
22:01Eh?
22:01Yeah, go on, then.
22:03Roy, eh?
22:04Want another drink, Roy?
22:05Oh, look at that.
22:06The prodigal plonk has gone to Kiplett.
22:09How are we going to get him home, then?
22:10Where's he staying?
22:11Oh, I don't know.
22:12Some bed and breakfast joint, he said, somewhere.
22:14Anyway, don't bother about it.
22:15Leave him there.
22:15Let him kip on the settee, you all right?
22:17Yeah.
22:18Not a bad idea.
22:20I think I'll climb in.
22:22Yeah.
22:23All right.
22:23Well, good night, huh.
22:25Good night, sir.
22:27You know, Rodney, somebody had told me a few months ago that I'd be sitting in having a drink and a laugh, right?
22:32With Roy Slater, I would have said they were off their bloody heads.
22:35Eh.
22:37Yeah, he ain't such a bad bloke, I suppose, is he?
22:39No.
22:39Well, this is it.
22:41Take them out of their uniform and get rid of their badges, and they're just like the rest of us, aren't they, eh?
22:46Just as scared.
22:47There you go.
22:49Want some ice?
22:50Oh, all right.
22:52Yes, I would have some ice, though.
22:53I'll take them out.
22:54I'll go for you, Rodney.
22:55That's very nice of you, tall boy.
22:57Come on, we're out.
23:00Come on, we're out.
23:01Oh, I don't believe.
23:06Rodney?
23:06Rodney?
23:18Come on.
23:19We're out.
23:20Ah, ah, ah, yep, it's all right.
23:22I'm not drunk, I'm not drunk.
23:22Where's he come from?
23:24Where's he come from?
23:25He who?
23:26Who's he, her?
23:27You mean Roy.
23:27Yes, he's come from the pub.
23:28I said he'd come back for a drink.
23:29You, Rodney, sod.
23:31And all the promises you've made me.
23:34Well, shut up.
23:34Come on.
23:36Raquel, you didn't believe me when I said I was just going to go out and have two halves
23:39of Shandy and then go to Midnight Mass, did you?
23:41Hey, what about all the others?
23:42Your promises mean nothing, bloody nothing.
23:45Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, now, calm down.
23:46Calm down.
23:47Well, you don't get excited.
23:48It's not good for the baby.
23:49Here, have a drink.
23:50I don't want a drink.
23:51I thought I could trust you, Derek.
23:53I believed your promises, all of them.
23:55Your husband can't get near you, Raquel.
23:56He'll have to get past me first.
23:58Yeah, well, that's right, ain't it?
23:59Really?
24:00Yeah.
24:00Well, what's he doing laying asleep on our sofa?
24:02What do you want to tell?
24:04My ex-husband is laying asleep on the sofa.
24:08No, no, that's Slater.
24:10I know his name, Del.
24:10I was married to him for four years.
24:20Slater?
24:20You were married to Slater?
24:24Slater?
24:24Slater?
24:24Slater?
24:25Yes.
24:29But...
24:29But that's Slater.
24:32I wish I hadn't burnt my wedding photos.
24:34Then maybe you believe me.
24:35No.
24:36No, no, not Slater.
24:38Slater was my married name.
24:43But Slater!
24:44Why the hell didn't you tell me what your name was, then?
24:49I told you my husband was a policeman.
24:51Yes, I know, but his name is Inspector Slater and your name's Raquel Turner.
24:54I mean, why didn't you tell me what your married name was?
24:56Because every time I talked about my marriage, you said, let's change the subject.
24:59Oh, Gordon.
25:00Bloody Bennett.
25:01Have you said anything to him?
25:02No, no, of course I haven't.
25:03God, stop him.
25:04Are you sure you was married to him?
25:06Of course I'm bloody sure.
25:07All right, then, calm down.
25:10It's all right.
25:11Come here.
25:11It's all right.
25:12It's all right.
25:12Now, just shut up.
25:13Listen, stay here.
25:14You stay here.
25:15I'll go and see if I won't get rid of him.
25:16All right?
25:17All right?
25:19Slater!
25:19God!
25:22Rodney.
25:23Rodney.
25:23Rodney, wake up, you dipstick.
25:25Wake up, wake up.
25:27Now, listen.
25:27What is it?
25:28Slater.
25:29Slater was married to Raquel.
25:31No, no, it's not a joke.
25:40Slater was Raquel's husband.
25:45No.
25:46Yes.
25:47I'm telling you, would I?
25:48I wouldn't lie about something as serious as, would I?
25:52Well, does Slater know?
25:55Of course he does.
25:56He was at the bloody wedding, wasn't he?
25:58No, I mean, does he know about you and Raquel?
26:01Well, no, I don't know.
26:02I don't think so.
26:03Not as far as...
26:04I've got to get him out of here.
26:04I've got to get him out.
26:05Come on.
26:06All right.
26:06Right, hello, Roy.
26:07Come on.
26:07Wake up.
26:07Wake up.
26:08Hey, Slater.
26:08Come on.
26:09Wake up.
26:10What time is it, Del?
26:11Well, it's time.
26:12Look, it's time you were gone, mate.
26:13Come on, that's it.
26:13Up you get.
26:14I'll get your coat.
26:15Don't worry about that.
26:15I'll just get a glass of water.
26:17Yeah, okay.
26:18No.
26:18No, no.
26:21Sit down there.
26:21I'll get you some water.
26:22Look, we've got plenty of water.
26:25We've got this trendy water.
26:26There you go.
26:27Have a chop of that.
26:28Oh, cheers, Del.
26:33Listen, tell me something, Roy.
26:36You didn't come back here to Peckham
26:38just to organise the school reunion, did you?
26:41Well, not just that.
26:42No, I got a letter from my wife solicitors
26:44saying she wanted a divorce.
26:46So I've come back to sort out a few things with her.
26:49Going to find a brief,
26:50see if I can make a meet with her.
26:52So you don't actually know where she's living, then?
26:54No, but the solicitor's local
26:57so must be round here somewhere, mustn't she?
27:00Well, yeah, yeah.
27:03While I was in the area,
27:05I thought I'd look up my old mates.
27:07I'm so glad I did, Del.
27:10It's done me the world a good meeting you again
27:12and finding that you're willing to forgive and forget.
27:17I know it might sound poetical, sentimental,
27:23but the cup of human kindness
27:27really does run it over.
27:33That's my wife.
27:36Hey!
27:36This picture here.
27:39It's my Rachel.
27:41Eh?
27:43Let's see.
27:45No, no, that says the Raquel look, that says.
27:47Yeah, that was her stage name.
27:49She's done a bit of singing and acting.
27:51What's a picture of my wife doing in your flat?
27:56Well, er...
27:58What's a picture of his wife doing in our flat?
28:01I don't know.
28:02He doesn't know.
28:02Why don't you keep the noise down?
28:04I'm trying to get some sleep in there.
28:06Is Raquel in yet?
28:09Raquel?
28:10You mean she lives here?
28:12Yes, I live here.
28:14Hello, Roy.
28:16Rachel?
28:19Who's Rachel?
28:22I'm sorry, I just don't understand what's happening.
28:25I come back here and...
28:28Oh.
28:30I see it now.
28:32You're cohabiting, aren't you?
28:35If that's the way you want to put it, yes.
28:38Well?
28:45Which one?
28:51You saucy dick!
28:52What do you mean, which one?
28:54Del?
28:55Yes, Del!
28:58Who's Rachel?
28:58Oh, God.
28:59Oh, God.
28:59Oh, God.
29:02So what's the full SP, Derek?
29:06Is this just another sort you've trawled in your net?
29:09Another notch on the bedstead?
29:11Or are you too close?
29:14Where'd you get that from?
29:16You're pregnant!
29:17Oh, that's what it is.
29:19We've been wondering about this, haven't we, Del?
29:21Yes, look here, Slater.
29:22You and Raquel broke up over eight years ago.
29:24She's a free woman now.
29:25I'm not according to this letter from Rachel's solicitors, I'm not.
29:29According to this, I'm still her husband and she's still my wife.
29:33He's Raquel's husband?
29:35Yes.
29:36Now, stay out of it, Unc.
29:37You know me, son.
29:38I'm saying nothing.
29:40Where'd you think she'd be for the past eight years?
29:42In a convent?
29:43I'm believing.
29:45I figured she'd have a bloke in tow and I guess it wouldn't be Cliff Richards.
29:49You always liked to live a bit, didn't you, love?
29:50All right, that's enough of that, Slater.
29:52That's enough of that.
29:52Otherwise, I'm going to take you out there on that balcony
29:54and see if the EEC have changed the laws on gravity.
29:58Where'd you expect me to feel?
29:59This woman, who I love...
30:01Shut up, Roy.
30:01You're making me feel sick.
30:02This woman, my lawful wedded wife, has been fertilised by a trotter.
30:10You had the whole world to choose from, Rachel.
30:12You could have had Pol Pot or a Siberian pimp with gingivitis and a wart on his nose.
30:17But, oh, no, not you.
30:18You decided to go down market, didn't you?
30:20Down market, that's it, that's it, pal.
30:22Get out of this bloody house.
30:23Go on, get out.
30:24Del, Del, just calm down.
30:26Well, he's beginning to get on my bloody nerves now, Roy.
30:29Why did you come back, son?
30:31To see my friends.
30:33To see my family.
30:35And most important of all, to see my wife.
30:38I've got a nice little inheritance coming soon.
30:44It's a nice few grand.
30:46I know this might sound ridiculous now.
30:50Well, it will sound ridiculous now.
30:53But I was thinking maybe you and me could try again, you know?
30:58A fresh start.
30:59All right, come on, come on, go on.
31:00Just naff off out of it, Slater, go on.
31:02Oh, don't you worry, Del.
31:03I wouldn't take it back now, not in that condition.
31:04Come on, calm down, it's all right, darling.
31:08Now stop it.
31:09Stop it, Slater, you're getting her excited.
31:10Yeah, and I always could, couldn't I, darling?
31:11Right, that's it.
31:14You'd better shut up, Roy, or I swear I'll set him on you.
31:17Calm down, Derek, please.
31:19All right, all right, all right, Rodney, thank you, all right.
31:21All right.
31:22Come on, you, come on, you go in a bed.
31:24Now, come on.
31:25You get in there, I'll be in a minute.
31:26Go on.
31:28Off you go.
31:30Go on.
31:32That's it.
31:34Who's Rachel?
31:38Oh, shut up!
31:46You awake, Rodney?
31:48Well, even if I weren't, I bloody would be now.
31:51But you...
31:52What's that?
31:54You've given Slater my bed.
31:57So, I know, well, I had no choice, did I, Rodney?
31:59His bed and breakfast place would probably have been locked up.
32:02I had to let him kip here, didn't I?
32:05What do you mean, you had to?
32:08Oh, come on, Rodney, show a bit of compassion.
32:10Can't you see the predicament that I'm in?
32:11No, I can't.
32:13All I can see is that snidey bark Slater lying in my bed
32:16and I'm stretched out on the shades long again.
32:20I'm going to sleep.
32:21No, no, no, Roy, Rodney, don't go to sleep.
32:24No, no, no.
32:25Don't go to sleep.
32:26I want to talk.
32:28What about?
32:29I mean, what about?
32:31About everything.
32:31About the situation.
32:32About Slater and Raquel and about...
32:35my little baby.
32:38Oh, that.
32:40I mean, if people find out that...
32:43Slater was married to Raquel,
32:45that's going to be the end of me
32:46and Trotter's independent traders.
32:49It is.
32:49No-one's ever going to trust me again.
32:51I don't trust you.
32:53Hmm?
32:54Why?
32:54What do you mean, why?
32:55How do you think my business associates and clients would feel
32:59knowing that I was going queso
33:00with the ex-wife of an ex-copper?
33:02And not any copper.
33:04But Slater, the slag.
33:06Most loathed and hated person in the parish.
33:10I mean, if they found out that...
33:12Raquel and Slater had lived together and...
33:15you know, and had...
33:16had...
33:17you know, had...
33:18Slept?
33:20Yeah.
33:21Oh, go back to sleep, Rodney.
33:23I've got your voices.
33:26It's probably her.
33:27Can't you sleep, either?
33:29I've been laying in there for hours worrying about this situation.
33:33If people find out Raquel's married to Slater,
33:35you'd be finished.
33:38Know that, hunk.
33:41People would be saying things behind my back,
33:44horrible things,
33:44things like...
33:46Slater's reject,
33:48things like that.
33:49Have you spoken with Raquel yet?
33:51No, of course I haven't.
33:52It's not the poor mayor's fault, is it, eh?
33:54I've got to try and protect her from the gossip.
33:58I've got to try and protect myself as well, haven't I, eh?
34:02Because, you know, I'm...
34:04Well, I'm a proud man, I am.
34:07Well, I'm proud.
34:08I don't want people to think that I mess with rejects.
34:15You see, Rodney, that...
34:17That's why I had to let Slater have your bed, you see?
34:20I've got to try to keep him sweet.
34:22I don't want him going all round the parish in the pubs and markets,
34:24you know, opening his mouth.
34:27He's got a hold over me.
34:29Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
34:31Rodney's got a point, Del.
34:32What he's saying is don't let Slater walk all over you.
34:35If you do, he might become suspicious and start wondering why.
34:41Yeah.
34:44Yeah, I don't know.
34:45Perhaps...
34:45Perhaps you're right.
34:47Sorry to interrupt.
34:49I'm dying of thirst.
34:50Couldn't you sleep, Del?
34:53As a matter of fact,
34:55I got up early to give you an early breakfast, Slater.
34:58Oh, that's nice of you.
34:59Yeah.
35:00Then I was going to take you by the scruff of the neck
35:01and I was going to kick you out of the bloody flat.
35:03Is that right?
35:05I couldn't sleep either worrying about you.
35:08What the local reaction would be
35:10if they were ever to find out the truth.
35:12I don't think anyone would ever trust you again
35:14if they knew you were living with the wife of an ex-copper.
35:17Not just any ex-copper,
35:20but Slater,
35:21who is universally hated and despised.
35:24I think that would be the end of you.
35:28No, I wouldn't like that to happen.
35:29Well, especially not to a good mate like you.
35:33Because,
35:34despite the fact
35:35that you have taken my wife,
35:38the one woman who I
35:39ever really loved,
35:42and tubbed her,
35:43I don't hold it against you.
35:47So I made a promise to myself,
35:48I'm going to make the same promise to you.
35:50I'm going to keep my mouth shut.
35:52Well,
35:54you know it makes sense, Roy.
35:55Thanks very much.
35:57I just hope and pray
35:59I don't have too many beers
36:00down the nags head
36:01and go and let it slip.
36:04Beer always goes to my head.
36:06Now, champagne,
36:07champagne's different.
36:08I know exactly what I'm saying with champagne.
36:10But until my inheritance comes through,
36:13I can't afford those sort of luxuries.
36:15It's a poser, isn't it, Del?
36:21Yes.
36:22Yes.
36:23There's a bit of a poser, Roy.
36:30Here you are.
36:32Look, here you are.
36:33Let's...
36:34Let's have some money there.
36:35Go and have a couple of bottles on me, will you?
36:38Sure, Del.
36:38Yeah.
36:40Why, that's very kind of you.
36:42I really am quite moved.
36:44Thanks.
36:48See you all in the morning.
36:49I don't know how long I'll be staying,
36:51but that's not a problem, is it?
36:52No, no, it's no problem, Roy.
36:54Cheers, Del.
37:01What are you going to do now, son?
37:03He's got you by the bit...
37:05Oh, like that.
37:08Yeah, I don't know.
37:11Don't know what I'm going to do.
37:14It feels as if I'm in a state of shock.
37:17A state of shock?
37:18Must be like being hit by a John Bones free cake.
37:21I know.
37:22They're short and curly and all, aren't they?
37:26I don't know.
37:27I don't know how much this is going to cost me
37:29before it's all over.
37:30I've already given him 40 quid.
37:32This is the first evening.
37:34You might have given him 40 quid, Del,
37:36but it's his Slater's wallet.
37:39What?
37:40Yeah.
37:41Funny, I thought it was Rodney's.
37:44Well, that's cheered me up a bit anyway.
37:47What's on here?
37:49Oi, look.
37:50It's some sort of contract
37:52from Slater's solicitor to Raquel.
37:54I, Rachel Slater,
37:57nay, Turner,
37:59hereby waive all my legal rights
38:01and entitlements
38:02to my husband's present
38:03and future estates.
38:05It's one of them things
38:06them film stars
38:07get their future wives to sign.
38:09A pre-nuptial agreement,
38:11or in his case,
38:11a post-nuptial agreement.
38:14That is what he came back here for.
38:18He wanted Raquel
38:19to waive all her rights
38:20to his money.
38:21What money's he talking about?
38:23I thought he was skint.
38:24Yeah, but he's got
38:25some sort of inheritance
38:26coming up, hasn't he?
38:27I suppose it's what his dad left him.
38:28No, his dad
38:29wouldn't have left him anything.
38:31He hated him
38:31more than the rest of us.
38:35Listen to this.
38:37Here, listen.
38:37Listen, dear Mr Slater,
38:39blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
38:40I would take this opportunity
38:42to bring to your notice
38:44the record-breaking hire
38:45which exists
38:46on today's
38:47international
38:47diamond market.
38:48I would strongly advise
38:51your consideration
38:52to selling
38:53the ten items
38:55you deposited
38:55with my firm
38:56some years ago.
38:58I await your instructions,
39:00yours basically,
39:00blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
39:01and this is from
39:02a Bond Street
39:03diamond merchant.
39:04This is Slater's
39:05inheritance.
39:07These ten little sparklers
39:09are what he pugged away
39:10when the old
39:11smuggling racket
39:11went up the pictures.
39:13You've got it, Bill.
39:13That is concrete evidence.
39:15I know, Rodney,
39:16I know, I know.
39:17Give me that wallet.
39:18Now then,
39:19we're going to hide this
39:20and we mustn't
39:21rush things, Rodney,
39:23till we can work out
39:25how best to handle this,
39:27all right?
39:27I think you found it, Del.
39:28I've been looking
39:28never here for that.
39:30That breakfast in bed
39:31you mentioned,
39:31about 9.30, all right?
39:32A couple of boiled eggs
39:33would be nice.
39:35Of course be, Roy.
39:35I'm sorry.
39:38Bleh.
39:44Rachel.
39:45Sorry.
39:45Raquel.
39:46Let me get you a drink.
39:47It's nothing like
39:48so I just called in
39:48to see if Del was...
39:49No, I insist.
39:51Mike.
39:51Another bottle
39:52if you'd be so kind.
39:53This on Del's account
39:55and all, is it?
39:55Yeah, it's all right
39:56with doing it.
39:57Yeah, fine.
39:58Del said anything you want.
39:59It's down to him.
40:00They broke the mould
40:01when they made that, man.
40:02She seems a nice girl.
40:04Yeah, Raquel.
40:04Yeah, she's lovely.
40:06She's been married
40:06before, you know.
40:07Oh, yeah?
40:08Yeah.
40:09Right git, I heard.
40:12Really?
40:13Still, the luck changed
40:14when she met Del.
40:15He's had his faults,
40:16but his heart's
40:18in the right place.
40:19Hey, don't you tell him
40:19I told you that, will you?
40:24What are you playing at, Roy?
40:25Why is Del paying
40:26for your champagne
40:27and bringing you
40:27breakfast in bed?
40:29Oh, he's just giving
40:30a helping hand
40:31to an old school friend
40:32who's fallen on hard times.
40:34When are you going, Roy?
40:35I haven't decided.
40:36I'm just waiting
40:36for my inheritance
40:37to come through
40:37and I'm thinking
40:38of buying a house
40:38in this area.
40:40We'll be seeing
40:40quite a lot of each other
40:41in the future.
40:43Do you ever think
40:43back to our times together?
40:45Some things remind me.
40:47Things like repeats
40:48of Tenko.
40:51Del boy, Rodney,
40:52let me get you a drink.
40:53Yes, sir.
40:54Make it a large bottle,
40:55will you, Roy?
40:56Is it all right, sweetheart?
40:57Yeah.
40:57I called in
40:58to see if you were here.
40:59Oh, yeah, well,
41:00listen, why don't you
41:01go and sit in the van
41:01because I'm going to try
41:02and sort this thing
41:03out with Slater.
41:03It might not be very nice.
41:04You're not going to hit him
41:05over the head
41:05with a chair, are you?
41:06No, of course not.
41:07Oh, well,
41:08I'll go and sit in the van then.
41:11Come on, then.
41:12You all right?
41:12Can you manage all that?
41:13Yeah, go on.
41:14Off you go.
41:16All right, Roy?
41:16Enjoying my champagne, are you?
41:17Lovely, Del.
41:18Yeah, good.
41:19Helps me keep a clear head
41:20and as you know best of all,
41:22that's very important.
41:26I was going to take
41:27Raquel shopping this morning.
41:28She's still asleep.
41:30She always was difficult
41:31to wake up.
41:32Oh!
41:33Funny how easily
41:34these things can slip out,
41:36isn't it, Del?
41:37I was thinking of hiring a car
41:38for a couple of weeks.
41:39Is that all right with you?
41:40Yeah.
41:41Yeah, sure.
41:41Let's go.
41:42Sit down over there, Roy,
41:43shall we,
41:43and just discuss it, shall we?
41:44Of course.
41:45Lead on.
41:48You're Rodney.
41:51Before we go any further, Roy,
41:52there's just something
41:52I want to ask you.
41:54You knew all along
41:55that Raquel was living
41:56with me, didn't you?
41:58Well, I suppose
41:59there's no harm in it.
42:00Yeah, I knew.
42:01Went down the town hall,
42:02looked up her name
42:03on the poll tax register.
42:05Didn't see your name
42:06down there, Del.
42:09Anyway, I had to get
42:11into your flat
42:11to make sure
42:12it's the same woman.
42:14And that's when I came up
42:15with the old school
42:15reunion idea.
42:17Del, go and fetch
42:18that bottle of champagne.
42:19Here's a good chap.
42:21You've got a habit
42:21of leaving things
42:22lying around,
42:23don't you, Slater?
42:24Yeah, like the other night
42:25when you left
42:25your wallet lying around.
42:26I couldn't help
42:27have a little peek inside.
42:29Yeah, I saw that contract
42:31that you wanted
42:31Raquel to sign.
42:33Only protecting
42:33my interest, Del.
42:34If it's good enough
42:35for Rod Stewart,
42:36it's good enough
42:36for me.
42:37We also read
42:38that welcome home
42:39letter from your
42:40friendly diamond merchant.
42:42So what?
42:43Well, what would happen
42:44if we took that letter
42:45to the old bill?
42:46Sweet F.A.
42:47Derrick, you've
42:48overlooked something.
42:49You may have read
42:49my personal paperwork
42:51but that ain't proof.
42:53I've still got
42:53Exhibit A tucked up
42:54safe and sound
42:55in my pocket.
42:56Now get out of
42:57that one, Perry.
42:58Yeah, well,
42:59this morning
43:01before I woke you
43:02with your breakfast,
43:04I took your wallet
43:04out of your pocket
43:05and had another look
43:06at the paperwork.
43:07So what?
43:09Can I have Exhibit A
43:10please, Rodney?
43:10Now, you see this?
43:15That's what's called
43:16a fax machine.
43:17It's exactly the same
43:18as the one we got
43:19in the flat.
43:20Oh, it's the state
43:21of the art technology
43:22that is.
43:22You know what?
43:23You can send a message
43:23anywhere in the world
43:24with one of those.
43:26You know what else
43:26you can do with it?
43:28What does that say
43:28on there?
43:29Look.
43:30Photocopier.
43:32Photocopier.
43:33Right, Roy, my boy.
43:35It photocopies things
43:37like pictures,
43:38like advertising bump,
43:39like letters
43:40from diamond merchants
43:41asking what you want
43:42done with ten little
43:43sparklers,
43:44things like that.
43:45So you got a copy?
43:47Well, not just one.
43:48Several.
43:49I mean,
43:50so we mislaid
43:50something as important
43:51as that.
43:53You're crying,
43:54wouldn't you?
43:55You said it, bruh.
43:57You seem to be
43:58forgetting, Eric.
44:00I know a lot more
44:01about the law
44:01than you do.
44:02I've already stood
44:03trial for those diamonds.
44:05Serve me sentence.
44:05You can't be tried
44:06for the same crime twice.
44:08Yeah, I know.
44:08Well, Rodney thought
44:09of that,
44:09so we went down
44:10to the local
44:10newspaper offices
44:11and we read the
44:12reports on the
44:13trial, right?
44:14You know,
44:14they had every little
44:15detail there.
44:16They even had a
44:16photo of you
44:17in the football team.
44:18Do you remember
44:18at school?
44:19Spot the git
44:20competition, it was.
44:23Now, according
44:23to the report,
44:24you were tried
44:25for illegally
44:26importing 78
44:27diamonds into the
44:28country.
44:29But you didn't say
44:30nothing about
44:31ten missing diamonds.
44:32Police don't know
44:33nothing about them.
44:35Yet.
44:35I wonder how
44:37your mates down
44:38at the yard
44:39would feel
44:39if they got
44:40a copy of
44:40that letter.
44:42Probably mean
44:43a new trial.
44:45And be honest,
44:45Roy.
44:46Be honest.
44:47Be honest.
44:50You wouldn't
44:51stand a chance,
44:51would you?
44:52Not with your
44:53record.
44:54And it'd be an
44:55even longer
44:56sentence this time.
44:57What?
44:58Seven years?
45:00No, I reckon
45:00ten.
45:01Ten?
45:02Still, that wouldn't
45:02worry you,
45:03would it, Roy?
45:03Cos you like
45:04reunions, don't
45:05you, eh?
45:07Wonder how
45:08all your mates
45:09in the nick
45:09will feel
45:10when I see
45:10you back.
45:10They'll probably
45:11throw a party
45:11for you.
45:12On the roof.
45:16Correct me
45:17if I'm wrong,
45:19but I suspect
45:20that you're
45:20angling for a
45:21deal.
45:21Quite right.
45:23All right.
45:25I've sold
45:26the stones.
45:27I'll split
45:27the money with
45:27you.
45:28I'll give
45:28you ten
45:28percent.
45:29No.
45:29No.
45:31Right.
45:3180-20 in my
45:33favour.
45:34No.
45:34No, sir.
45:36Come on,
45:3670-30.
45:37No, we
45:38don't want
45:38the money.
45:39We don't
45:39want the money.
45:43All I want
45:44from you is
45:44a promise that
45:45you will give
45:45Raquel a
45:46divorce.
45:47Then you will
45:48leave her alone
45:49forever.
45:49You'll get out
45:50of this area
45:50and never come
45:51back.
45:51You'll also
45:52keep your
45:53big mouth
45:53shut.
45:54Because if
45:54one person,
45:55just one,
45:56hears that
45:57you were
45:57married to
45:58Raquel,
45:58then there'll
45:59be a letter
45:59with a first
46:00class stamp
46:00on it,
46:01winging its
46:01way to the
46:02commissioner
46:02of police.
46:04And that's
46:05the deal?
46:05That's the
46:05deal.
46:07Well,
46:08those terms
46:08seem acceptable
46:09to me,
46:10Derek.
46:11Very acceptable.
46:13I'll give you
46:14my word,
46:14I'll keep
46:15my mouth
46:15shut.
46:16And I'll
46:16keep away
46:17from pillar
46:17boxes.
46:19I think
46:20that concludes
46:20our business.
46:22Michael,
46:24have a bottle
46:25of champagne,
46:25please,
46:26and two
46:26glasses.
46:27I've got
46:29a train
46:29to catch.
46:31Adele,
46:32will you
46:33do me a
46:34favour?
46:35When the
46:35baby's born,
46:36if it's a
46:36boy,
46:37would you
46:37name it
46:38after me?
46:40I wouldn't
46:40have thought
46:41so.
46:42Hardly fair
46:43to christen a
46:44kid dick,
46:44is it?
46:49Have a nice
46:50life,
46:50Del boy.
46:51Sorry.
46:52I will,
46:53Slater,
46:53don't worry,
46:54I will.
46:59Yes!
47:00Well done,
47:01Rudy,
47:02we done it,
47:02we done it,
47:02what a team,
47:03what a team!
47:03What a bloody team!
47:05Why didn't we
47:06take his money?
47:07Because it's
47:08illegal.
47:09Yeah,
47:10but...
47:11Yeah,
47:12I suppose
47:12you're right.
47:13But,
47:13you see,
47:14when he sells
47:15the diamonds
47:16and he gives
47:17Raquel her divorce,
47:19she will be
47:19entitled legally
47:21to 50%
47:21of everything.
47:23Oh,
47:24Derek,
47:24I will drink
47:25today.
47:27You two
47:28celebrating
47:28something,
47:29are we?
47:29Yes,
47:29you could say
47:30that,
47:30Michael,
47:30haven't we?
47:30We just
47:31pulled off
47:31the deal
47:32of the year.
47:33Oh,
47:33yeah,
47:33that reminds
47:34me,
47:34Del,
47:34that fax
47:35machine you
47:36sold me,
47:36a photocopier
47:37on it,
47:38don't work.
47:39Oh,
47:39done it?
47:40That's funny.
47:41Don't work
47:41on ours,
47:42either.
47:49You've got
47:49some life,
47:50please.
47:51You've got
47:59some life,
47:59you've got
48:00some life,
48:00you've got
48:01some life,
48:01you've got
48:02some life,
48:03you've got
48:03some life.
48:03You've got
48:04no income tax,
48:06no VAT,
48:07no money back,
48:09no guarantee,
48:11black or white,
48:12rich or brown,
48:14we'll cut prices
48:15and a straw.
48:19God bless,
48:20Hooky Street
48:21Viva Hooky Street
48:24Long live Hooky Street
48:27Saint-Main-de-fique
48:29Hooky Street
48:30Magnifique Hooky Street
48:34Hooky Street
48:37Hooky Street
48:40Hooky Street