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Tv, Allo Allo S2E06 - Herr Flick's Revenge
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00:00Satsang with Mooji
00:30Some of you may be curious to know
00:34what I am doing in an A-Stack
00:36wearing a top hat and a cold scuttle.
00:40I will tell you.
00:42I am hiding from Monsieur Alphonse,
00:44a decrepit old undertaker
00:46who challenged me to a duel.
00:49My wife, Edith,
00:51invited the whole village
00:52to witness this spectacle,
00:55so she was particularly disappointed
00:57when I ran away.
00:59It's just as well that I did
01:01because in spite of the fact
01:02that I was zigzagging through the woods,
01:04he still managed to dent my scuttle
01:06at 75 yards.
01:09The question now is,
01:11how much longer can I go on hiding from him
01:13without being discovered?
01:17Honey!
01:18What are you doing here?
01:20We are having a secret meeting.
01:25We have to decide what course of action to take next.
01:28I will tell you what course of action to take next.
01:31Get me to Switzerland.
01:33We need you here.
01:35You are a vital link in the escape route of the British Airmen.
01:39The balloon is assembled.
01:41A favorable wind is expected.
01:42We will need you to take the British Airmen to the rendezvous.
01:47Do you not understand?
01:48That maniac undertaker is trying to kill me!
01:51We have decided on a disguise.
01:54You have?
01:55Oh.
01:56Oh, Michelle.
01:57How can I ever repay you?
01:59Take off your clothes.
02:03The resistance,
02:04they don't mess about, do they?
02:06But could we not kiss and cuddle a little bit first?
02:13It is so you can put on your disguise.
02:16Ah.
02:17I thought my luck had changed.
02:23Who means my happiness?
02:26Who?
02:28Could I answer yes to?
02:31Well, you ought to guess
02:34Who?
02:37There weren't but you.
02:44Oh, madame.
02:45You have a voice in a million.
02:48When we are married,
02:50I will sing to you every night.
02:52But, madame, it may not be appropriate.
02:55After all, our bedroom is above the mortuary.
02:58Oh, forgive me.
03:00I was forgetting.
03:02I could hum
03:03Abba Maria
03:04unaccompanied.
03:07You probably would be.
03:15Monsieur Alforce,
03:16it is very urgent
03:17that I speak to you.
03:21I do not know you.
03:23I am Michel
03:24of the Resistance.
03:26Michel of the Resistance?
03:27Not the intrepid leader
03:29of that brave band of partisans
03:31who roam the countryside
03:32striking terror
03:33into the hearts
03:33of Germans
03:34and collaborators alike.
03:36Not the girl
03:37who is a legend
03:38who comes into our midst
03:40like a phantom
03:41and then vanishes
03:42without a trace.
03:44That is the man.
03:47Lead, mademoiselle,
03:49and we will follow.
03:53I love you.
03:54I love you.
03:55I love you.
04:00Now listen,
04:01very carefully.
04:02I will say this only once.
04:04I will take notes.
04:06Oh, Yvette.
04:08René is outside.
04:09Oh, no.
04:10If Monsieur Alforce sees him,
04:11he will kill him.
04:13Do not worry.
04:14He's in disguise.
04:15He will wait in the cafe
04:16until Michel explains
04:17to Monsieur Alforce
04:18how important René
04:20is to Alcoz.
04:23Another cognac,
04:24please, Yvette.
04:25Any news of René?
04:27Not a word.
04:28The place is not
04:29the same without him.
04:31It's all clear.
05:01those eyes they look very familiar particularly that one i am trying very hard not to be familiar
05:15monsieur i have it you are a relation of renee who works behind the bar very distant
05:22you have very hairy legs they run in the family it is you please lieutenant do not give me away
05:36don't worry your secret is safe with me no no you do not understand yes i do
05:41i had an uncle with the same leanings every show of tuesday he would dress up as a pancake girl
05:51suppose you think i am a coward on the contrary i think it takes great courage to come out in the
05:59open and dress that way oh my god germans and they are coming to this table don't worry i will cover
06:08mademoiselle a dance what oh well no i i don't i'm not very good don't worry i will lead
06:21are they watching us don't worry just be normal i'm doing my best you'll do a few more bars then i
06:33will put you in my little tank and take you back to my place until it dies down lieutenant do you feather of
06:43course just leave me here with my friends will you you're not really dressed for a tank i think i
06:54better go and warm it up for you yeah if you need a push start just let me know i'll i'll get the rest of
07:00the girls i did not know who it was i was challenging to a duel you the leader of the escape route oh let me kiss the
07:14hem of your dress please please mr alphonse you embarrass me oh tell me what to do i will follow you anywhere
07:22anywhere in a minute in a minute i am going to have to go to the little girl's room oh madame i could
07:32not come between you and this this perhaps the bravest man in france henceforth i will admire you from afar
07:43good day to you all vive la france uh vive the goal who you know the goal uh the one
07:52the big water of course vive the goal thank heavens he has gone they did all very well for you but what
08:03am i to tell my friends i cannot be seen out with a coward i have the explanation you will tell them
08:10that during the duel a bumblebee flew down his trousers at a critical moment causing him to run into
08:16the river but the nearest river is three miles away it was a very big bee
08:24renee elga's here she must see you she's in trouble one last message before i go the wind is favorable
08:33when the moon is down you will lead the airmen to the balloon where are they now
08:38we will disappear like phantoms into the night oh good
08:49come in
08:51renee yes the colonel and the captain have been arrested by the gestapo
08:55they are even now imprisoned in the dungeons of the chateau
08:58what was that it was the phantoms falling over the dustbin
09:05soon they will be interrogated her flick always gets to the bottom of everything
09:10why should i care i have done nothing you have hidden in your cellar a knuck first
09:15sausage containing the real painting of the fallen madonna vid a big boobies by bank loan
09:19a copy of which is hanging in the gestapo sausage in your kitchen which her flick is under the impression
09:23is the real painting which was supposed to be on the train to hitler which did not arrive due to
09:28the fact that it was substituted for a normal knock first which was blown up they may reveal this under
09:33torture well they remember it and we must help them before it's too late okay i cannot go like this
09:43why not i am i am disguised as a girl how you relax off duty is no concern of the german army
09:53not so fast my name is engelbert von smallhausen of the gestapo i am wishing to speak with renee artois
10:07the barman oh what a pity you have just missed him by that much it is his night off engine is warmed up
10:15renee so let's go so you are renee artois why do you dress as a woman of the opposite sex
10:30i was going to a pancake party you will come with me i will take you to the dungeons of the gestapo
10:36headquarters have you any personal belongings you wish to bring just my handbag
10:42you are private helga gearhart i am here flick orders that you also attend please come with me
10:56oh this is terrible what shall we do we shall have to go over the heads of the gestapo who are you
11:12calling general erich von klinkerhofen hello hello
11:28prince what are you doing i'm scraping at the cement i'm hoping to loosen one of these bricks
11:34don't be absurd the count of monte cristo did it it took him 20 years come to think of it the film
11:43had already started when i went in
11:50what do you think he is going to do to us who knows they are terrible with women
11:56colonel colonel can you not just tell him about your sausage if we tell him
12:07he will find out that we pinched a genuine painting so as to sell it when all this is over
12:12why do you have to try to make money out of the war why can you not just fight and i'm done with it
12:17renee i want you to promise me if we ever get out of this that you will stop seeing those resistance
12:23people and i will try not to arrest too many frenchmen and then we can all lead a quiet and normal life
12:33i was trying to lead a quiet and normal life when i was arrested so i see
12:40put your skirt down
12:41so
12:51have you decided to talk yet we know nothing here flick that empty sausage is a complete mystery to us
12:58helga put it on the train helga has been very thoroughly interrogated
13:03and has revealed nothing new to me
13:09i think we should have the brazier up a bit whatever you say
13:16take the bellows and pump it up
13:17that is more likely you are exceeding your authority the gestapo has no jurisdiction
13:32over senior officers in the army or junior officers what about cafe owners
13:38they can do what they like with them
13:39i do not know what you are complaining about you are a temporary guest in a well equipped
13:46and completely soundproof dungeon what is more i hardly think a complaint that you were tortured
13:54to reveal the whereabouts of a knock burst sausage will be treated very seriously by the high command
14:00i will return very soon when i do i suggest you talk
14:17a note i knew we could do an iron to helga oh helga will have a plan what does it say it says
14:24have you got a plan
14:25i do not often do this but i am going to offer up a silent prayer we should all do the same
14:33hans
14:42who prays for that
14:45it's coming from this ventilator here just a minute
14:49the wind is terrible in the sewers what are you doing here i bring a message from michelle
15:11ah what is your message it is for any years only never mind that get on with it what is it michelle says
15:18have you got a plan
15:22in the case you are in ditchstoke
15:27come back here come back you thought if we were smaller we could get down that little hole
15:31somebody else is coming
15:36maria i have crawled through the trains i had to say goodbye or kiss me for perhaps the last time
15:45it is a bit embarrassing with the colonel and the captain yeah
15:48stick your head down the hole and do it
15:52i don't know what they see in the man he has quite good legs
15:57oh it is a high event another one i have brought you your wings
16:02my rings see all the ones containing the pills with the deadly poison here
16:07if all else fails take them you will feel no pain you will die instantly
16:16how thoughtful of you
16:17honey i have saved the pill for myself i cannot live without you oh well do not take it just yet
16:25i have a better time than we do even with his love life down the drain
16:33well that is it there we are then thank you one each
16:37colonel these are the rings which we gave to rennie in case he got caught yes those are the rings
16:44yes there's someone coming hide them yes
16:46the girls smudged my lipstick
16:57have you decided to talk
16:58i have decided not to talk
17:00i have decided not to talk
17:04i have decided not to talk about the wheel
17:09how do you take care of the organ
17:11the organ
17:20good before we start have you any last requests
17:32blue skies around the corner
17:35helga turn
17:37where is the susset
17:49the fiend is going to crush us
17:51it is in the salon
17:53i cannot hear you
17:54it is in the salon
17:56wait wait the bench
17:57the bench
17:59yes
18:05keep turning
18:07we told you it's in the salon
18:09not good enough
18:10oh
18:11oh
18:12what are you doing
18:13i'm sorry
18:15i'm only a billion orders
18:16shoulders to the ceiling
18:18i'm pretty sure
18:19what are you doing come there
18:21i'm waiting for the ceiling to get down to my shoulders
18:25do you not find these grand crashing cords
18:27that's very exciting
18:29i think you missed it
18:30now
18:30i'll catch you
18:31look at the floor
18:33keep turning
18:33melga
18:34keep playing at me
18:38hook
18:39no hands
18:43hanks
18:45i think it's time to take the pills
18:47the pills quick
18:51nothing has happened
18:54another faulty batch
18:55i have to write a letter about this
18:59turn my cuddle
19:01i don't want to make it open
19:08i'll hit love
19:11what is the meaning of this
19:13these men are traitors to the reich
19:17they have stolen a knockwurst sausage containing the painting of the fallen madonna with the big boobies
19:23which was on its way to berlin
19:25the sausage they sent was blown up by the raf
19:29but upon investigation it transpired that there was no painting in the sausage
19:35and in fact all the sausage contained was sausage
19:41upon this evidence you are flattening a colonel and a captain in one of my divisions
19:46not to mention a very plain french girl
19:51my authority comes from berlin
19:53my authority comes from this gun
19:57release them
19:57i see
20:00temporarily you have the upper hand
20:02but i should warn you that my godfather is heinrich himmler
20:06my wife's sister is the mistress of hermann goering
20:11hermann goering has many mistresses
20:15my wife's sister is the one who wears the chamois leather underclothes
20:24turn the wheels the other way
20:26yes heflick
20:27so you are party to this
20:28no i was only obeying orders
20:31reverse the wheel
20:32oh dear what are we going to do
20:39incompetent fool stand back
20:44ladies fast
20:45oh
20:49it is
20:51it is
20:51oh ladies
20:52why do you ignore my christ for your sisters
20:56i am here now mama
20:59i have just been to the church to light a candle
21:01for what's it today
21:02i have just been to the church to light a candle for renee
21:06i fear he is no longer with us
21:09good
21:12now you can marry the undertaker while he still has the hots for you
21:17i cannot think about that now that when he has gone
21:19i must have the two airmen away as soon as possible
21:25oh my little eaties always so ed strong
21:35get through to london so that i can spook on the rudia
21:39it is who is the fuzz with the bad french
21:47he is an expert on escaping from london
21:50i think so bad in london
21:55what is happening to me my room is full of transvestites
22:02i do hope you're not expected to wear these things in the balloon
22:05we're down draughty around the needles
22:09oh it is i see fleshy knobs
22:16it is london help me
22:23get the code book while i assemble the radio
22:31hello hello this is mrs night talk calling
22:34where is the wind coming from
22:37i say again where is the wind coming from
22:41it's the same place it always comes from
22:47the wind is from the southeast three knots and holding steady
22:52tonight is the night bring signal torch when you're over coast flash it over and out
23:00it's the night when you have been released and has returned
23:05released quick eaters to the church blow out the candles you may get a refund
23:15oh when i thank heavens you are alive i can't believe it is you sitting with me here at this table
23:22wearing that hat and that wig and that dress and those little white socks
23:30oh yvette thank god it is all over and what is more the colonel and i have made a pact that from
23:38now on everything will return to normal
23:49listen very carefully i will say this only once
23:53you are ordered to lead the british airmen to the balloon they will take off tonight
23:57but that is not possible on the orders of general von klinkerov and himself the colonel
24:03and the captain have gone off on maneuvers the ones that were cancelled the town is
24:07ruined with german soldiers we're under curfew people are allowed through are engaged in essential
24:13services everything has been arranged i have a plan oh now she has a plan
24:22why did you not have a plan when i was in the nutcracker suite
24:32i cannot say what an honor it is for me to assist you monsieur renee the bravest man in france
24:41has just escaped death by gestapo torture and without thought of personal danger
24:47is even now helping the british airmen to escape i am quite a character am i not
24:56someone is knocking on the coffin
25:00what are you knocking for you old bat you are supposed to be dead
25:13i wish to go to the bus
25:18this is not a corridor earth
25:21do not speak like that to my mother you must be kind to her
25:25it was your idea she should be the cops she is the nearest thing we have
25:41it's not much further chap
25:56katie jerry's on the horizon
26:00it looks like a roadblock
26:03somebody is disobeying the curfew
26:05funeral processions are allowed her colonel
26:09i wonder why renee is riding in the front
26:13i wonder why the two corpses in the second hearse
26:17they're sitting up and chatting to each other
26:21i think it is possible that renee is finally getting rid of the british airmen
26:26so that life can return to normal like he promised
26:29hunts tell the sergeant to let them pass
26:37this is a funereal we are borrowing some biddies
26:45biddies dead biddies and kiffins
26:51proceed
26:52let them proceed
26:59hold
27:17what is this a funeral her general
27:22i see
27:29open the coffin
27:48it is my brother's wife's mother she died of the plague
27:52what plague is this it's a plague that kills brother's wife's mothers
28:00open the coffin
28:08this spreads across europe we've all had it
28:10oh thank you
28:31oh thank you
28:38Keep pumping, Carstairs.
28:40I think we're pretty near take-off.
28:42Let's hope the paraffin holds out.
28:44Let's hope the knickers hold out.
28:48Well, goodbye.
28:50Goodbye.
28:52Thanks awfully for having us.
29:00You must come and stay with us if you ever come to England.
29:04Goodbye.
29:06Goodbye.
29:08Goodbye.
29:10Goodbye.
29:12Goodbye.
29:14Goodbye.
29:16Put me on the trail.
29:18Take me over now.
29:20Party knickers did the trick.
29:24Bye.
29:26Bye.
29:28Thank heaven.
29:30Now life at Café René can return to normal.
29:34Goodbye.
29:36Goodbye.
29:40Goodbye.
29:42Oh, you're so brave.
29:44Goodbye.
29:46Well, that's normal as possible.
29:48Bye-bye.
29:50Goodbye.
29:52Goodbye.
30:02Goodbye.
30:04Goodbye.
30:06Goodbye.
30:08Goodbye.
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