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00:00Tosh.0 features videos from the internet
00:02and is intended for a mature audience.
00:04Comedy Central does not condone the activities performed
00:07and discourages anyone from attempting them.
00:09Enjoy!
00:16Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
00:18Oh, my God!
00:28Welcome to the show
00:31with Tosh.0
00:34Exactly why I always carry my AR-15 hunting rifle to the salon.
00:39Welcome to Tosh.0.
00:40Is this a blazer? Is it a hoodie? Who knows?
00:43It doesn't scare white people, and it's monochromosexual.
00:46Tonight, I meet a babe who can burp the alphabet backwards,
00:49forwards, and outer b-hole.
00:51I teach the benefits of slacking off at work
00:53and backed by popular demand.
00:55It's our Aussie video the wiki.
00:57Now, this is on the salon for having a walk-ins welcome sign.
01:04Quick! Test some products on them.
01:07If that stopped even one woman from getting bangs,
01:10it was worth it.
01:16This is the most exciting thing to happen there
01:18since Candace got caught trying to sell
01:19Devin Sawaw's hair clippings.
01:21How do I know so much about a salon in Long Island?
01:25It's where I get my hair did.
01:27Turns out, the fuck?
01:28Is it an on-again, off-again relationship
01:30with the shampoo deer?
01:31But you didn't hear it from me.
01:33Oh, hell no!
01:38You need to leave that eight-point buster.
01:43One of my BFFs is an elk.
01:45I could totally set you up.
01:47I gotta start going back to Fantastic Sam's.
01:50They can't layer for shit, but I leave with fewer ticks.
01:53All right, ladies, sometimes catcalls can be empowering.
01:57Spit it out! Spit it out! Spit it out! Spit it out!
02:08Oh, shit!
02:09Ah, yes, Tanya Harding.
02:11The famous Olympic rollerblader.
02:13Both timely and an accurate reference.
02:16Nothing can ruin this guy's day
02:18except a stick or a pebble.
02:20I like your flair, buddy!
02:24Is that Juan Carlos from the 2014 season of America's Got Talent?
02:30Good eye.
02:31Not every contestant ends up at the theater in Vegas.
02:34Some only get a street corner in Houston.
02:36Yes!
02:38Not so long ago, they'd be dragging him behind that pickup.
02:41That's progress.
02:42Okay, here's why God didn't give women Adam's apples.
02:48Stick a fork lift in her, she's done.
02:51Blindsided by that thing directly in front of her,
02:54it is impossible not to victim blame here.
02:59Oh no, classic rom-com meet cute.
03:02They'll probably bump heads while they look for her teeth.
03:05Watch the purse.
03:07Forklift purse trick shots are a big thing in China right now.
03:11You should see how many attempts it took her.
03:24Moving on, I'd like to remind you that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
03:30No joke here, just want you to check those sweet, sweet yum-yums.
03:33Once it became acceptable for women to breastfeed in public, I knew this would happen.
03:49You saved some for the kid, I assume you locked in your hot car.
03:53I've always said there needs to be rave daycare.
03:57Man, breastfeeding is so much sexier without the baby.
04:02It's important to hydrate at these festivals.
04:04Plus, that milk's fortified with free molly.
04:07Fine, but what about us single fathers who also like to party?
04:12Who's done with breast milk but not quite ready for solids?
04:16This deal's about to unload!
04:23Later, when that puree dries in his creases,
04:25he'll be able to dig out some fruit snacks.
04:27Another one.
04:28Another one.
04:34He has a hotel reservation under...
04:36Give me the money.
04:38Now, we got a not-so-nice place to visit,
04:41but a better place to rob in this week's Breakdown.
04:46Welcome to the actual physical location of Rock Bottom,
04:49a budget hotel in Paducah, Kentucky.
04:52I'm told it's just steps away
04:54from a very nearly decontaminated uranium enrichment plant.
04:58Every Bama fan should be embarrassed to show their face.
05:01I say to lock them all off.
05:03His sister was supposed to be his accomplice,
05:05but they're dating other people right now.
05:08Okay, luckily, I can read body language.
05:10She's saying, fire away.
05:12I work at a country inn in Paducah, Kentucky.
05:16I have nothing to live for.
05:19Hmm.
05:20The way she's throwing the cash at him is very objectifying.
05:24I'm surprised not one guest has snuck in
05:26for a lobby dump during this.
05:28The first rule of armed robbery is stay armed.
05:32Yeah.
05:33She's quicker than she looks,
05:35like the Draymond Green of motel employees.
05:38Now rob him back.
05:40He could just wait outside.
05:41I'm sure the police will take care of her.
05:44I'd flick the safety off
05:45and give that little pill-billy
05:46an early check into the morgue.
05:48And for that, we thank you.
05:50But first, a Talks.0 exclusive,
05:52never-before-seen footage of Sex Squad.
05:55Hey, everybody.
06:07It's your favorite burping girl,
06:08and today we're at the grocery store,
06:10and we're gonna be burping on your groceries.
06:13I smell like a good old fart.
06:27Ever feel like you can smell a video?
06:30So peggy.
06:31That belching beauty with the bad manners is Andrea,
06:34queen of the mouthqueef.
06:36She's known online as burping girl,
06:38but she's so much more.
06:39She farts.
06:40She's built like a roller derby champion
06:42and is into belly worship,
06:44which means she fat shames herself
06:46for your perverted pleasure.
06:47A body-positive trans woman.
06:50So in other words, not someone Ellen
06:52wants to watch a football game with.
06:54Burping is the only bodily function
06:56that lets you experience how it feels
06:58to roar like a majestic lion.
07:00In China, burping after a meal
07:02is a sign of gratitude,
07:03but out of respect for LeBron James
07:05during his difficult time,
07:06I have no further comments on China.
07:08Hashtag free Hong Kong.
07:10Fair warning, this fetish isn't for everyone,
07:13nor should it be for anyone,
07:15but in my book, Andrea is a feminist hero.
07:17Yes, her videos are disgusting and hard to watch,
07:20but dudes have cornered the market on grossness
07:23for far too long, I say.
07:25That's why I brought the Susan Boyle of Burps to Hollywood,
07:28where a woman who eats is considered the biggest freak of all,
07:31in this week's celebrity profile.
07:32Blessed be the fruit.
07:48my morning coffee is kicking in i'm gonna have to drop anchor real soon it's never easy to find a
08:05bathroom at a grocery store it's usually behind a butcher counter for some reason we're probably
08:10not allowed to use it in gilead we can't do anything except when we need to move the story
08:15along then somehow we get away with everything i didn't do anything you old cow i'm off tom brady
08:27but you can call me andrea nice to meet you are you new yes so how long have you been making burp
08:34videos a little over a year why because i'm freaky okay do you only burp in public
08:39i burp and i fart i gag and spit just everything that's gross with everybody
08:49okay burping girl is a fetish it's also comedy and it's like the wow factor
08:54so i cater to all three have you always been good at burping i'm good at being a fat girl
08:58oh
08:59do you not eat healthy no what's your like favorite meal pizza
09:07what kind of quantities are we talking about like two medium pizzas bread
09:11two mediums yeah i never understand people that buy two mediums why not just buy two larges
09:15you get 5.99 if you buy two from domino's domino's pizza their whole advertising campaign for the past
09:22six years has been apologizing for how horrible their pizza is it's a weird strategy
09:28do you ever say excuse me in your videos sometimes i do but i don't mean it i can't guess your age
09:43i'm 14. what i'm 29 but 14 in fetish years how many fetishes are you into gassy girl
09:50i like foreskin i like musty boys blowjobs for sure
09:54okay tell me about your greatest burp sorry to just blow over that blowjob
10:00my greatest burps are the ones that make my eyes roll back
10:03you ever try harmonizing your burps
10:10no we could do it together
10:12that was music no i'm gonna get sick you were born a boy yeah does that take away some of
10:25the allure of being such an amazing burper people like well of course you're such a good burper
10:31because most born females aren't good burpers would you say that's true the hormones have
10:36taken every testosterone out of my body so these are girl burps have you had a if i did then i
10:42wouldn't be a fetish have you ever thought of maybe having the surgery so that you could get
10:46into the queefing fetish if i had somebody to pay for it yes
10:49are you dating that can i talk about that i'm married to a woman was she born a woman maybe
11:00okay that's not that's not i don't sometimes i don't know what questions i ask are inappropriate
11:05if you don't want to share that that's fine well let's just say it's beef but it smells like fish
11:10oh yeah that is disgusting
11:13oh shit are any of the handmaids wearing this like this
11:36nasty bitch nasty bitch nasty bitch nasty bitch nasty bitch so look at this i mean come on gilead
11:52do you like potatoes not ones that look like ball sacks now what's your preferred style of french
11:58fry i like curly curly is the right answer oh i love a curly fry almost makes me uh consider
12:06going back to arby's that sounds good doesn't it oh i miss arby's god damn you gilead
12:12who is that gross guy that allows you to burp in his mouth in your videos
12:17my ex-boyfriend he want to get back with me so he'll say he'd do anything for me
12:23that was so freaking hot
12:25what grosses you out poop poop grosses you out i'll poop on somebody i just don't want nobody to poop on
12:36me has there ever been a video where you're like oh man i wish i wouldn't have done that
12:40the grocery store video because it went viral the clip and i was burping on groceries on boxes but the
12:47internet took it as i was tampering with food getting my germs all over it oh i didn't even look
12:53at it that way i mean but just just talking over groceries is gonna get your germs and stuff you don't
12:59eat the box well i don't know you yeah you get it let me check my list unlabeled juice i need a
13:09couple potatoes grab one more thing for my commander we get out of here oh i'm sad samples jeez
13:20oh they're good
13:24oh gilead just got a little bit spicier now the trader of joe's is carrying the new flaming hot
13:36doritos just make sure you wash your hand before you give your commander a handy learned that the
13:42hard way quick you have to come with me i'm with the resistance we're sneaking you across the border
13:48to canada canada that rather be on the wall yeah canada i love protein burps i'm so sick of
13:57people telling me how cool toronto is sucks i couldn't help but wonder was canada even for
14:07me or would i miss it here did i love big or did i just love being comfortable oh shit i'm doing a
14:13sex in the city monologue now seems like the right time to remind everyone elizabeth moss is in an
14:20actual dangerous misogynistic cult scientologists we'll be right back but first is he having a panic
14:26attack or summoning rescue dolphins
14:28i told them i wasn't gonna leave until i either land the double backflip or until i injure myself
14:47oh yeah look at this my arm's just hanging on this look at that the whole weight of my arm is just on
15:13boon boon out of the six people who are into slacklining he is one of the best he calls himself
15:22reckless ben and if you find trampolines too wide and tight ropes too tight then slacklining is a dumb
15:28hobby for you if you haven't heard of it that's because you're not spending enough time in homeless
15:34encampments or colorado i'm always on the lookout for cool new ways to keep my doughy staff in shape
15:40so i got rid of our treadmill desk and invited reckless ben to show us how to use our new slackline desk
15:46reckless ben welcome
15:51oh yeah
15:58that makes sense why there's a slackline running through the middle of our writer's room
16:03how'd you get into this i got one for christmas
16:05who got it for you my parents oh they don't want their son anymore
16:09how many people actually do this there's a big community especially in japan and brazil
16:14japan that makes sense oh man can they balance let me look at your balls are they mangled as shit
16:20they say slacklining is the best way to get balls of steel they've been hammered right a couple times
16:25but i mean what doesn't kill you makes you stronger so what kind of underwear do you wear
16:32oh i have a bathing suit on right now i think all my underwear's in the laundry but boxers
16:36i like it you ever gotten seriously injured i watched you dislocate your shoulder that's
16:40awful i dislocated my shoulder i think five or six times now
16:44ow why don't you try beating your shoulder into like a tree or something
16:49to get it to pop back into place i've seen that in movies
16:52oh my friends he tried to pop it back in i think it was so far out but he's like i got you ben
16:57and he kept trying to do it oh well careful ben jeez you're reckless i broke my neck the doctors
17:02recommend me never slackline again do you have health insurance yeah i think so okay good
17:06you ever bowl on the slackline no i feel like it would fall off ah you gotta roll it straight
17:10do we have a bowling ball
17:12ah yeah it fell that's a spare there's no chance that this slackline breaks on us today is there
17:24no this one's good can you sue the slackline companies well this is a my company so be suing
17:29me i don't want to sue you but if we have to you ever slacklined inside never in an office barely
17:34an office but yeah i appreciate that you said you can teach anybody to slackline i can teach anybody
17:3930 minutes 30 minutes all right i'm gonna give you 30 seconds to teach these idiots enough chatting
17:44let's start slacking oh oh that was good that was really good okay oh wow like a cat get your hands
17:54above your head oh you're the first one to go around like this you're not gonna let go
18:03oh gosh get her a computer so she can do some work i've always said comedy writers work better
18:07when there's an element of danger don't drop your come on leif i'm surprised you're not doing this
18:16in your hipster neighborhood turn your angle completely inward that's good shake more
18:22you look like he's having a seizure jackson give him a mug drink some coffee but let go of him
18:28while he drinks his coffee oh jesus you're trying the butt bounce no why don't they reach for the stars
18:38say you were made to be mine nothing could keep that's it that's it oh that's stupid back to work
18:52sorry about your rubber band yes i was playing zach efron from that circus movie but you probably
18:57couldn't tell because i'm so much taller and less coked up we'll be right back with more of the
19:01untitled hunter biden project welcome back to the only tv show that thinks tech smex should just pick
19:12a side already next week's super a hero who's too gay for marvel and too black for dc
19:27super bitch could not have been easy for him growing up in smallville follow me on the four
19:40majors of social media my annual charity show will be saving the world in tucson this year
19:44joining me will be sarah tiana and todd glass you can also see me in vegas phoenix west palm beach reno
19:52honolulu but if you're a true fan you'll cross the international date line to see me do stand-up at
19:57sydney brisbane and melbourne by the way the average dong length of a thunder from down under performer
20:04is 11 inches fact check that one myself now the tosh point oi oi oi oi ozzy video of the wiki
20:24what's up skip hey off off get away
20:38ah kangaroos kangaroos were invented when an australian had sex with a rabbit
20:44all right tonight's free book is the testament's sequel to the handmaid's tale only men are allowed
20:49to read this spoiler alert it's extremely depressing good night
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