- 2 days ago
A dead-ringer for an important British General agrees to put his life on the line, by posing as The General, to divert the attention of spies.
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00:00perfect okay guys and salute
00:08that's beautiful mr parker even the accent you're the image of the real general smite
00:19pelly hey they look like twins well mr parker's his perfect double ah what a gimmick the guys
00:24over on main side will be lined up three deep to get the pictures taken with him yeah yeah we
00:28could clean up yeah mr parker thanks a lot for helping us out you're a real pal all right now
00:32i say stand back there you ruddy colonials or i'll have you flog to a thruppet yes what oh skip yeah
00:42and what may i ask is going on here uh hi skip mr parker here has kindly consented to help us pick
00:49up a little extra money before i leave right general that's right old skip well now we couldn't
00:55have these fellas going off to new mayor without a ruddy chutney in their pocket won't they
00:58have your picture taken with a genuine general boys now i've seen everything oh no you haven't
01:05here comes captain binghamton mama mia let's get lost
01:09turn hood all right mikhail what are you and your pirates up to now who are you hiding back there
01:17how is that oh oh oh oh yeah how are you it's general smite fellowship i don't know yes telly
01:24who old chaps i seem to have lost one of my beastly medals must be around here somewhere
01:29captain if you'll come if you'll get your hands off of me mikhail
01:34anson parker
01:39aren't you a little bit old to be playing trick-or-treat well i'm only 24
01:46captain uh you see anson parker was uh giving the men a class in uh in uh identification of
01:52uniforms yes sir and now sir if you'll come along with me to 73 we've got it all polished
01:57and ready to shuttle you over to new mayor you can forget all about new mayor i don't need your
02:03garbage cow now do you get the message i won't be needing you i won't be needing your boat and
02:07your leave is canceled finished on the bilge but captain you can't do that yeah we've been
02:12looking forward to this leave it ain't fair it's an american american by george it's on british
02:18you goof now surely you men are fighting men you can take a little disappointment and if you can't
02:28i'll ask the chaplain to stay open late toodaloo 24
02:33bye bye captain
02:45bye bye
02:47bye
02:49bye
02:51bye
02:53bye
02:55bye
02:57bye
03:00bye
03:01bye
03:02¶¶
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05:02Oh, now, let's get out of here.
05:06Good thing I carry a spare.
05:14Get it, Skip.
05:15Why would fleet headquarters want to talk to us?
05:17Well, I don't know.
05:18But I'll never forget the look on Binghamton's face
05:20when they bumped him off the plane to get us here.
05:24At ease, gentlemen.
05:26I'm sure you're both wondering why we've sent for you.
05:28Well, I won't keep in suspense any longer.
05:30Be seated, gentlemen.
05:32The Allied High Command has planned its most important strike to date,
05:36the invasion of Hiroshira.
05:38That's where you come in, Ensign.
05:39The success of the entire operation may rest on your shoulders.
05:43On mine?
05:44I beg of the captain's pardon, sir.
05:46What makes him so special?
05:48Just watch, Commander.
05:50Stand up, men.
05:55Put on this beret.
06:00Stick this in your eye.
06:02Stand up straight.
06:11Hey, how about that, Skip?
06:14They got a racket just like ours.
06:16Hey, how much you guys charge for pictures?
06:18Go on, Captain.
06:19Go on.
06:19Regardless of rank, there probably isn't another person in the entire world
06:23who is such a dead ringer for the real General Smythe Pelley.
06:27Oh, I don't know.
06:30There's a pretty good imitation.
06:31What do you mean, Chuck?
06:33Ten hunts!
06:34Yes, yes, quiet, quiet.
06:55I dare say in a pinch you could fool Winnie.
06:58Your wife?
07:00Oh, no, no.
07:00The Prime Minister.
07:02Or that Winnie.
07:04The resemblance is amazing.
07:06Well, the question is,
07:07will he be able to fool the enemy agents and the mayor?
07:09Well, that's a chance we're going to have to take.
07:12Gentlemen, we're going to be playing a bit of a game with the nips.
07:16The stakes are 10,000 lives at the Battle of Hiroshira.
07:20The Japanese know that General Smythe Pelley is going to mount his next invasion in this area,
07:24but they don't know where he's going to strike or when.
07:27Quite, quite.
07:28But we're going to fool them.
07:30And that's where you come in.
07:32Now, while you're nipping about the mayor, posing as me,
07:35I shall be leading the first wave assault at the beach.
07:38We just might catch them with the ruddy kimonos down, what?
07:42And even if you don't fire a shot, you might embarrass them to death.
07:47Yes.
07:48Quite a sense of humor.
07:51Now, commander, you shall remain with the general as his American liaison.
07:55Give him all the help you can.
07:57Yes, sir.
08:00You think you can handle it, Chuck? It won't be easy.
08:03Well, I don't know, Skip. I've never...
08:04Well, we'll give it a bit of a go, General.
08:07It might be a sticky ticket.
08:10I mean, wicked.
08:11Like they say in Piccadilly, that's where your old Big Ben bongs.
08:16Yeah.
08:19Do give him all the help you can.
08:30Hey, Dave, would you watch it driving, you filthy blighter?
08:39Easy, Chuck.
08:40Curtain going up.
08:41Yes.
08:41Oh, uh...
08:42Disgraceful behavior.
08:44Report this jeep to Nimitz.
08:45Aye, aye, sir.
08:46Yes, sir.
08:47Hey, let me help you down, sir.
08:48Yeah, fair.
08:49Come right down this way, sir.
08:50Yes, sir.
08:51Bonjour, monsieur mon general.
08:55As mayor, permit me to welcome you to Nouméa, the captain of New Caledonia.
08:59Yes.
09:01Say, let's watch that, Buster.
09:02I mean, after all, there's a crowd here, you know...
09:03Your city!
09:04Yes, your city, of course.
09:05Yes.
09:06Smashing city you have here.
09:08Simply a capital capital.
09:09And here is a small token of esteem from the ladies of Nouméa, mon general.
09:14Yes, say, the ladies, by Jerskip.
09:17And while you are here, we hope you will think of our Ombo city as your own.
09:23Yes, well, yes.
09:24Now, take a bit of doing, you know.
09:26You see where I come from.
09:27We kiss the ladies and shake hands with the men.
09:30Got off a good one there, why?
09:32Yes.
09:33And the general wishes to thank you for your hospitality, Mr. Mayor, mademoiselle.
09:37Thank you, sir.
09:38For how long will you be with us, general?
09:40Well, I'm afraid that that's a top-secret old tip.
09:43I mean, a tip-top old secret.
09:46You will not hurry away?
09:47There are so many sights I could show you.
09:50You could.
09:51Yes, I bet she could, skinny.
09:53You could.
09:53You really could.
09:53Yes, well, some other time, mademoiselle.
09:55You see, the general has some official duties to attend to.
09:59Will you excuse us, Mr. Mayor?
10:00Of course.
10:01Till we meet again.
10:02The key to Nouméa is yours.
10:04Oh.
10:05I say, some ruddy big doors you have around here.
10:10Yes.
10:11The general got off another good one.
10:19René.
10:19So that is the great general, Smythe Perry, eh?
10:25He is not what I expected at all.
10:27Never mind.
10:28We will be well paid for any information we get.
10:31Do you think you can handle him?
10:32Once I am alone with him, he will learn why I was chosen for this assignment.
10:37Hey, Skip, you really think we fooled him all?
10:46Oh, sure, you're doing fine, Chuck.
10:47Now, look, I'm going down to check out the whole layout.
10:50You sit tight and don't budge, huh?
10:53You understand, mon général?
10:56Right, Skip.
10:56You know it's going to be kind of hard getting used to being an ensign again.
10:59Skip.
11:13Tell us what?
11:14Oh, I say, skipping into the wrong room, aren't you?
11:18No, mon général.
11:19I am in the right room.
11:20I simply add to meet you again, even if it meant bribing the bellboy for the key.
11:27Well, now, I say, that's not cricket.
11:30Well, that is not the game I had in mind.
11:32Wait, wait, it isn't.
11:33Well, now, look, old boy, I feel...
11:35I mean, old man, girl, girl, you can't find it.
11:38You know what you are, but you...
11:39Oui, shall we?
11:40I am your slave.
11:42For years, I've worshipped le grand général Smythe Pili from afar,
11:46the man who has won a hundred battles and broken a thousand hearts.
11:53Well, now, actually, you see, it was only 99 battles and 973 hearts.
11:59Can't win them all, you know.
12:01How I dreamed you would take me in your arm.
12:04I say, you're forging my monocle.
12:06Brush your warm lips to mine.
12:09Anyone for tea?
12:10Oh, I'm so disappointed.
12:14That could not possibly be the kiss of the famous great lover, Smythe Pili.
12:22Yeah, well, great lover?
12:24Yes, great lover.
12:26Remember now, well, you see, actually, it's a simple case of battle fatigue, don't you know?
12:32Shall we have another go at it?
12:34Wrong live the king.
12:39That was the kiss of the river.
12:41Well, actually, sometimes, yeah.
12:45Well, here we go again.
12:47Step up.
12:51Oh, I say, good show, good show.
12:55Well, now, I've got to be popping off.
12:57Somebody's got to mind the war, you know, so.
12:59Oh, but general.
13:00Well, I mean, we have just met.
13:03Well, I...
13:04Tell me how much time we will have together before you leave no mail.
13:09Oh, well, probably a four-net.
13:12Maybe a fifth-net.
13:14Quite possibly a sixth-net.
13:16Well, now, actually, you've got to be going.
13:18You see, we're very late for...
13:19Oh, uh, bonjour, commander.
13:24The general and I, we were just having the little talk.
13:28Oh, well, uh, you'll just have to continue the little talk some other time, mademoiselle.
13:33Well, the general is a very busy man.
13:35Au revoir, au revoir.
13:39Come over here.
13:42Oh, what happened?
13:42How'd she get in here?
13:43Well, she brought the bellboy for the key, Skip.
13:45She's mad about me.
13:46Oh, come on, knock it off, will you?
13:48Hey, you didn't give anything away, did you?
13:51Well, my mustache once, but I got it right back.
13:53All right, now, look.
13:55You stay away from that dame.
13:56She could be trouble.
13:57Come on, will you get ready?
13:59We're supposed to be down at the parade grounds already.
14:01Oh, yes, yes.
14:01Come on, we can't keep the boys waiting, can we?
14:04Now, let's see, dog, you.
14:31Oh, yes, yes.
14:37Oh, yes, yes.
14:41Oh, yes, yes.
14:51Oh, yes.
14:55Well, Chuck, thank goodness we're in a home stretch.
15:07H.R. is midnight tonight, and we've got six hours to go.
15:12Come on, boys.
15:16Oh, General, why do you keep hiding from me if I could but see you for one moment?
15:22Hey, we're sorry, ma'am.
15:23It's now some other time.
15:23You see, we have to get the general ready now for the mayor's reception.
15:27Yes, the general's a busy man.
15:28Busy, busy, busy.
15:30Roddy bore, but that's the way the crumpet crumpled.
15:41Always it is the same story.
15:43The commander stays closer to him than his own shadow.
15:46Do not worry, Sherry.
15:48There is a change of plans.
15:49Since he cannot be questioned, then he must be liquidated.
15:53Taxi!
16:00Taxi!
16:09I see.
16:10That blader could have caused an accident.
16:12No harm done, General.
16:13No harm done.
16:15That was no accident, Chuck.
16:17Whoever it was wanted to kill you.
16:18Here comes a cab.
16:19Come on, let's get out of here before there's more trouble.
16:21Hey, I doorman, keep the change.
16:31McHale.
16:32Oh, my, Captain Binghamton.
16:33What a coincidence.
16:34Imagine...
16:35Give me back my money, you thief.
16:37You're worse than a thief.
16:38You're a deserter.
16:39Your orders were to go to Comfleet.
16:40Oh, well, now, Captain, I can explain everything.
16:42I can explain it to the firing squad.
16:44Oh, it's worth a trip down here with 73 with your bills rats just to have this moment.
16:48Oh, you mean my crew's here, too?
16:50What are you hanging around for?
16:53Oh, I see.
16:55Ruddy rheumatism acting up again.
16:57Well, I'll be popping off.
16:59Hey, you numbskull, you...
17:01Who are you calling a numbskull, you filthy black and I'll have you floored?
17:06Get another one of those sticks.
17:08I'm warning you, you hit me again, I...
17:10Stand easy.
17:10It's not cricket to hit a man wearing half a pair of glasses.
17:13No, no, no, no.
17:14Then I got to cut the couch.
17:22Oh, Mr. Chase.
17:25Ah, some of you men take this man inside there and try to sober him up.
17:29And you see he just tried to assault the general here.
17:31He's going to be all right, general.
17:33Come on, let's get out of here.
17:34All right, there he is.
17:35Come on, take care of him.
17:36Oh, yeah.
17:40Hey, Skip.
17:41We can't run away.
17:42Hey, what about the mayor's reception?
17:43You said I had to go.
17:44Well, you'll go, but you're not going to go alone.
17:47Thank goodness the boys are here.
17:48Well, what good are they going to do?
17:49They're not invited.
17:50They're going to be invited because, boy, you need protection.
17:54Yeah, you're not kidding.
17:55Did you see that flower pot?
17:56Pow!
17:57Somebody could have got hurt.
18:03A toast, mon general.
18:05To health, wealth, and the long life.
18:08I say, when I say he's looking at you, I like somebody looking back.
18:17Excusez, s'il vous plaît.
18:19Look, Skip, I've got to...
18:20Will you relax?
18:21Our reinforcements are on the way.
18:23Yeah.
18:24Monsieur le mayor, I am Gruber, the new butler.
18:28I ordered no butler.
18:31Agent 7-Eleven, British Secret Service.
18:33And the new downstairs may.
18:35Entrez-vous, bad-bye.
18:36If there is anything you wish, monsieur, just whistle.
18:43But who are...
18:44They always travel with the general.
18:49The king insists.
18:51Yes, yes.
18:52I never go anywhere without Babette.
18:54Dearest Babette.
18:55Voila!
18:56More guests.
18:57Presenting the Maharaja of Kakamania.
19:00Greetings, most honoured and adored Sahin.
19:08Nice to see you again, Boobie.
19:11Yeah, Neumann India.
19:14That's India.
19:16The Scotch ambassador to Zanzibar.
19:19Why, it is good to see you again, Larry.
19:22Good, ma.
19:22Which way to the free refreshments?
19:24The Russian trade commissars.
19:29The Smitovich Brazels.
19:33Bah!
19:34The three of us.
19:38Bors!
19:41The general took the liberty of inviting some of his old friends.
19:45He knew you wouldn't mind.
19:47Why don't you gentlemen step up and have some refreshments, sir,
19:50for old time's sake?
19:52Stay behind the screen.
20:03Now, when I get the general in here,
20:05well, you know what to do, eh?
20:12And so I brought up the second and third wave
20:14and still no fire from the nips.
20:16I'm telling you, it was time for nerves of steel.
20:20I'm shot.
20:21Hello, girl.
20:21Please, Commissioner General, another shot.
20:23Da, more champagne.
20:27Everything all right, General?
20:30Will you relax?
20:31We'll get you out of here.
20:31You can't stop.
20:32Get out of my way.
20:33Get your hands off of me.
20:35Get out of my way.
20:35Look who just walked in.
20:36In the name of the United States Navy.
20:38But, monsieur, you do not have the invitation.
20:40I don't need an invitation.
20:41I'm a captain.
20:42He'll blow everything.
20:45Look, we've got to get rid of him quick.
20:47Chuck, get lost.
20:48Get lost.
20:49Get out of my way.
20:49Get out of my way.
20:51In the name of the United States Navy.
20:53Well, I've been looking all over town for him,
20:56and I'm not...
20:56Morset.
20:57What does he disturb us?
20:59Well, some bomb are out there polluted.
21:01Oh, well, never mind all that.
21:03In here, we can be alone.
21:04Just...
21:05Oh, too cute.
21:06Okay, what are your pilots up to now?
21:09What kind of a masquerade is this?
21:11It is you who masquerade, monsieur.
21:13This man is Jacques Dillinger,
21:14the international jewel thief.
21:17We must take advantage of this.
21:21How's the reward?
21:22I'll give you a reward of six months.
21:24Call the police.
21:26We'll have to lock this man up.
21:28I'll explain later.
21:30Boy, they're having a bit of a Donnybrook out there.
21:32Never mind that.
21:33We have so little time.
21:34Just sit there and take...
21:37Let's go, man.
21:41Bring him this way.
21:44Hey, you know, he's trying to kill me.
21:45Oh, why would anyone wish to do such a thing to you, my chef?
21:49I'm not giving a dart.
21:51Oh, I say.
21:52I'm going to lend you a hand.
21:54He's a very poor sport, you know,
21:56and so we...
21:57Sorry, you guys.
21:58We...
21:58Ah!
21:59We can't really love him.
22:07Oh, oh.
22:28Whoa.
22:34Help!
22:37No!
22:38Help!
22:39Help!
22:40In the name of the majesty, help!
22:43Mr. Parker's in trouble.
22:44Where is he?
22:45Hey, let's do it up.
22:46We gotta find him.
22:47Take it, come with me.
22:52Uh, don't you look.
22:56Help!
22:59Help!
23:00Help!
23:01Help!
23:01Help!
23:01Help!
23:02Help!
23:03Help!
23:05Help!
23:08I can't hold on much longer.
23:10Help!
23:11Come on, let's go.
23:13Let's go.
23:16Look out below!
23:21Hey, is he all right?
23:23Are you okay, Mr. Parker?
23:25What time is it?
23:27It's midnight.
23:28Right on the button, General.
23:29In that case, I never felt better in my life.
23:32Just call me Ensign.
23:33I don't know how to begin to thank this chap, Parker.
23:43He did such a smashing job for us.
23:45Yes, sir.
23:46If it weren't for him, who knows what our casualty rate would have been.
23:48Yes.
23:49Well, I suppose we should...
23:50Say, old man, this is beginning to be a habit.
23:54What?
23:55Parker, I've had it with you and your silly Halloween pranks.
23:58Now I'm gonna fix you once and for all.
24:01You nuts.
24:02Unhand me, you numbskull.
24:14If I were you, Captain Bampton, I'd start apologizing to the General right now.
24:19Let me help you with your things, sir, sir.
24:30It's a drafty and here you need every...
24:34Oh, your crops, sir.
24:35There you are.
24:36There we are, General.
24:37How good is new?
24:38Oh, you're Michael, sir.
24:39There we are.
24:41Cheers.
24:41Cheers.
24:42Cheers.
24:43Cheers.
24:44Cheers.
24:44Cheers.
24:45Cheers.
24:46Cheers.
24:47Cheers.
24:48Cheers.
24:49Cheers.
24:50Cheers.
24:50Cheers.
25:19¶¶
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