- 19 hours ago
The Kia Cee’d bows out, replaced by the new Vauxhall Astra as the Reasonably Priced Car. Jeremy and James also test the Toyota GT86 and Subaru BRZ to see which delivers more driver fun. Lewis Hamilton returns to reclaim his lap record.
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Top Gear Season 19, Top Gear S19E04, Top Gear Vauxhall Astra, Top Gear Reasonably Priced Car, Toyota GT86 review, Subaru BRZ review, Lewis Hamilton Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, The Stig, Top Gear BBC
Follow our channel for more car crazed mayhem. Alot more episodes to come that you don't want to miss. Like our videos and share with other car lovers!!
Thank you for supporting our channel
Top Gear Season 19, Top Gear S19E04, Top Gear Vauxhall Astra, Top Gear Reasonably Priced Car, Toyota GT86 review, Subaru BRZ review, Lewis Hamilton Top Gear, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May, The Stig, Top Gear BBC
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MotorTranscript
00:00:00Tonight, James draws on a board, Richard waves at a man, and I run away from a table.
00:00:20Hello, everybody. Hello and welcome. Thank you so much. Thank you. Now, now, I'm often asked, well, and sometimes are, well, actually, I was once asked by one person, why we review fast voxels so rarely on Top Gear. Simple answer, they're terrible rubbish.
00:00:47Vauxhall, however, has just introduced a new Fast Astra and says it isn't terrible rubbish. Hmm.
00:01:02It's called the VXR, and on paper, it certainly appears to be terrible rubbish.
00:01:08Because what they've done, bless them, is fit under the bonnet of a front-wheel drive Vauxhall Astra a 276 horsepower engine.
00:01:20That's as daft as fitting the heart of an elephant in a mouse.
00:01:30See, the thing is, the front wheels have to do the steering, and that's a big, important job.
00:01:35And asking them to handle 276 horsepower as well means you have to do some very, very clever engineering.
00:01:45Now, not that long ago, Vauxhall was making the not at all cleverly engineered Vectra, the most dreary, uninspiring car in all of human history.
00:01:58Oh, it really was a cure for ADD. If you put a hyperactive child in there, he'd be asleep in three minutes flat.
00:02:10I mean, look at it. It's as gripping as a Victorian novel, as stylish as a taxman's trousers.
00:02:17Nobody's got the impression they'd designed it in a coffee break.
00:02:21Oh, quick, the boss wants a new car. Oh, there we are, there's one. Give it some fancy door mirrors, it'll look like we made an effort.
00:02:27But they hadn't!
00:02:29So, the idea that a company which did this now thinks it has the technical ability to put 276 horsepower through the front wheels of a hatchback is laughable.
00:02:41The thing is, though, amazingly, they've pulled it off.
00:02:47It has a clever front diff. And unlike a normal Astra, it has hydraulic power steering. It also has the same sort of dampers that Ferrari use.
00:03:10And, James tells me, it has separate hub carriers. Which is interesting.
00:03:19Plainly, then, they've spent more time and effort on the front end of this car than they did on the whole of the Vectra.
00:03:26And the rewards are huge.
00:03:28There's no torque steer. There's no fuss. There's no drama. The power is just there when you want it.
00:03:39It might not be the most firm car in the world. It actually feels quite heavy. But, my God, it is quick.
00:03:49And, best of all, despite extremely wide, low-profile tyres, it has a comfortable ride as well.
00:04:06If you like being uncomfortable, you can push this sport button here, which firms everything up.
00:04:11And, if you want to feel like you're falling down a rocky escarpment, you can push this one.
00:04:17If you do that, watch. Ready?
00:04:20Look, all the dials glow red to warn you that your neck's about to snap.
00:04:25Probably better to leave those buttons alone, really.
00:04:31This is a damn good car.
00:04:33It's solid, good-looking, and very, very fast.
00:04:38Plus, because it's a hatchback, it's practical as well.
00:04:44There are, as I see it, only two problems.
00:04:47Number one, at just shy of £27,000, it is quite expensive.
00:04:53And, number two, when you're asked at parties what you're driving these days, you're going to have to start by saying,
00:04:59Erm...
00:05:04Perhaps, then, we should look at the Astra's chief rival.
00:05:08The Ford Focus ST.
00:05:10This has five doors, so it's more practical than the Vauxhall.
00:05:14It's £5,000 cheaper.
00:05:16And, at parties, you can say you own a Ford without blushing.
00:05:21But, it simply isn't as nice to drive.
00:05:25Instead of taming the front end with proper mechanical engineering like Vauxhall did,
00:05:33Ford has used electronic systems, and the truth is, they're not as good.
00:05:38You can sense the electrons doing their absolute best to keep things neat and tidy.
00:05:45But, you can also sense them, erm, failing.
00:05:49There's torque steer, there's under steer, and then there's lift-off over steer. There!
00:05:59It is a smorgasbord of waywardness.
00:06:02I also have to say the Ford has a particularly unpleasant interior.
00:06:10And it doesn't look very good from the outside, either.
00:06:13Nowhere near as good as the Astra, that's for sure.
00:06:16So, as an enthusiast car, I have to say, the Vauxhall is better.
00:06:29But, this is Top Gear, and I can't very well sit here and say,
00:06:33Hey, petrolheads, the best hot hatchback is a Vauxhall Astra.
00:06:39That'd be like a travel person saying,
00:06:42Hey, holidaymakers, the best place for your summer vacation is Belgium.
00:06:47So, let's keep going and look at another option.
00:07:00The Renault Megane 265.
00:07:03This is the darling of all the car magazines.
00:07:06They love it.
00:07:08And it's easy to see why.
00:07:17You can just tell this car was designed by a team of people
00:07:26who really know what enthusiasts want when they're on the track.
00:07:31It's sublime.
00:07:38They've even fitted it with a special readout
00:07:41that shows you how fast you went from 0 to 60,
00:07:43how fast you did the standing quarter,
00:07:45your lap times,
00:07:46how much power you're using,
00:07:48how much brake you're using,
00:07:50your throttle position,
00:07:52a graph,
00:07:54an extreme graph,
00:07:56your g-meter.
00:07:58The Stig just loves this.
00:08:00He's been running around all morning squawking and clutching at his tinkle.
00:08:05And I have too, if I'm honest.
00:08:07It's just an amazing combination of nimbleness and brute force.
00:08:18There's no doubt that it's more exciting than the Vauxhall
00:08:21and less wayward than the Ford,
00:08:23and faster than both of them.
00:08:27To show you how much faster I engaged sport mode
00:08:31and pulled up for a drag race.
00:08:38Watch and learn, Vauxhall.
00:08:46What?
00:08:48Come on!
00:08:50Come on, faster!
00:08:52Come on!
00:08:53That was not supposed to happen.
00:09:06Much to my surprise then, the Renault was the slowest.
00:09:10And when you bear equipment levels in mind,
00:09:13it's the most expensive too.
00:09:15And it's also the least nice.
00:09:18Sitting in here is a bit like sitting in Eeyore's gloomy place.
00:09:23It's all very dark and everything you touch and everything you use
00:09:27feels flimsy, like it will come off or break at any moment.
00:09:31And the back's very cramped and the ride's very hard.
00:09:34And this seat is very low down and very snug
00:09:37and gives you an idea of what it would be like to be buried alive.
00:09:40And look at this.
00:09:42You can't wear a pink shirt or it'll flash.
00:09:48So, while this may be the nicest car to drive on a track
00:09:52or a deserted moorland road,
00:09:54it would not be the nicest to live with on a day-to-day basis.
00:09:57That means we arrive at a rather worrying conclusion.
00:10:03Because, if I were to choose one of these three cars to drive home in tonight,
00:10:08it would be...
00:10:10the...
00:10:11the...
00:10:15I can't believe it.
00:10:17What happened there?
00:10:19There, the camera broke.
00:10:20Did it?
00:10:21Yeah, no, it just literally broke there.
00:10:23Did it? Did it?
00:10:24Yeah.
00:10:25And what were you about to say?
00:10:27Erm, I can't remember.
00:10:29You were about to say the Voxo.
00:10:31A bit.
00:10:33No, it is a surprisingly likeable car, it just is.
00:10:35No, but isn't that a bit like saying Piers Morgan is a surprisingly likeable man?
00:10:39But in the end, fundamentally, he's still Piers Morgan, isn't he?
00:10:42Awful man.
00:10:43Yes, no, it is a bit like...
00:10:44It is, I know what you mean.
00:10:46Look, hold on a minute, because the Ford is £5,000 cheaper.
00:10:50It's the most practical, with the most doors, and we've just seen it's the fastest.
00:10:53Yeah.
00:10:54But I'd have that.
00:10:56There is a lot to commend the Ford, you're right.
00:10:58I like the Renault, actually.
00:10:59Oh, God.
00:11:00Oh, this is... this is brilliant buyer's advice, isn't it?
00:11:02I'd have the Ford, you'd have the Renault, and he'd have the Piers Morgan.
00:11:06Yeah, I know how we can sort this out.
00:11:09The tame racing driver.
00:11:11Some say he contains 47% horse.
00:11:17And that, to concentrate more on his work here, he has resigned this week from his other job in Rome.
00:11:26All we know is he's called the Stig.
00:11:28And they're off.
00:11:29Sluggish start from the Ford, and it soon bites and finds its stride on the way to the first corner.
00:11:39And it's the Renault that's looking twitchy into there, the other two nicely controlled and gripping hard.
00:11:44The Stig still listening to national anthems in a cacophony of patriotic noise.
00:11:54All tracking cleanly around Chicago, now spooling up the turbos for the run to Hammerhead.
00:12:00Hard on the brakes, might see some mania from the focus here.
00:12:03But no, almost threatening to cock and back wheel.
00:12:07And the Renault just scampers away like a cheesecraze sport monkey.
00:12:11Wow, a stack of Stigs there. Now, follow through.
00:12:20And yes, the focus is getting out of shape.
00:12:22Quickly pulls it back together again.
00:12:24Oh, we're quick through the tyres.
00:12:27Two corners left. The Vauxhall appears to be very composed.
00:12:30The Renault looking bumpy on the way in. It is the most track-ready car here.
00:12:34And here they come up to Gambon.
00:12:36No dramas at all. And across the line.
00:12:42I have the times here and they are not that fast.
00:12:46The Ford Focus did it in 1.29.6.
00:12:51The Vauxhall Astra did a 1.28.3.
00:12:55And the Renault Megane, the most track-focused of them all, did a 1.27.7.
00:12:59So, therefore, the conclusion is, if you want a relatively inexpensive, fun car, buy the Toyota GT86.
00:13:10We're really not much good at that consumer advice thing, are we?
00:13:13Anyway, we must now do the news.
00:13:15Yes, and it's bad news.
00:13:18Dacia have got their name wrong.
00:13:20Have you seen the car ads they've been doing?
00:13:22They keep referring to themselves as Dacia.
00:13:24Now, I think that's because that's how you say it in Romania where it's built as well.
00:13:28And you know there's another labelling problem they've got.
00:13:31Because I was reading up on the new Sandero, it says it's got 90 horsepower.
00:13:34Now, with everything that's been going on, how do we know that isn't cow power?
00:13:38That's a good point.
00:13:39Because those abattoirs that are supposed to have got them up are in Romania.
00:13:43Yeah.
00:13:44Allegedly.
00:13:45Apparently.
00:13:46We went to Romania once, so we did see a lot of people riding around on cows, routing up horses.
00:13:50Yeah, and all their farmers complaining about getting up early to milk the horses.
00:13:54Exactly.
00:13:55It's a bore.
00:13:56So it is a 90-cow power car.
00:13:58We've established that.
00:13:59Good.
00:14:00Now, on this show, we've always said you can't be a proper petrol head until you've owned an Alfa,
00:14:04which has always been a bit of an embarrassing problem for me, because I haven't.
00:14:07But that might be about to change with this.
00:14:09The Alfa Romeo 4-seat, little two-seater, 1.8 liter turbocharged engine mounted in the middle,
00:14:15chassis made of carbon fibre.
00:14:17Well, at least it won't rust.
00:14:18Oh, they'll find a way.
00:14:20Will they?
00:14:21They'll have bought cheap Russian carbon fibre that's somehow oxidized.
00:14:24You don't know about Alfa's.
00:14:25How much is it?
00:14:26It's going to cost between $40,000 and $50,000, something like that.
00:14:29I've got a bit of a problem with that, I have to say.
00:14:31I don't think the looks are quite right.
00:14:33Eh?
00:14:34It's gorgeous.
00:14:35I think it's a bit too tall.
00:14:36Exactly, it is.
00:14:37But how it does look good, though, is if you see the plan view, we've got one of those.
00:14:41Now that, I think, is good.
00:14:42It's almost a square.
00:14:43That's a view Hammond will never have.
00:14:45Oh, come on.
00:14:48Open goal.
00:14:49It kind of was, yeah, alright.
00:14:51Now, the Ford Mustang we featured last week in the race across Europe, okay,
00:14:55that seems to have captured the hearts and minds of everybody.
00:14:57I mean, really...
00:14:58Everywhere I've been, all week, people have been talking to me about that.
00:15:01Yeah, non-stop.
00:15:02Well, big news.
00:15:04Ford has announced, because they've never sold the Mustang officially in Britain,
00:15:07okay, since 1964.
00:15:08Yeah.
00:15:09They've announced that the next generation of Mustang coming next year will be built with
00:15:12right-hand drive and will be sold in Britain.
00:15:15About time.
00:15:16Brilliant.
00:15:17Good news.
00:15:18There is, however, a tiny bit of bad news.
00:15:20What?
00:15:21The V8 version will be sold in America.
00:15:24But, because we're only British, all we can have is a two-litre EcoBoost engine.
00:15:29Oh, for God's sake!
00:15:31Do they think we want that?
00:15:33I can't understand their logic.
00:15:34Because, I mean, if you want a Mustang, it's because you want a big V8 muscle car.
00:15:38Yes.
00:15:39There's no other reason for buying one.
00:15:40Precisely.
00:15:41So, if you want a two-litre EcoBoost car, you're going to buy a Golf Diesel.
00:15:44Not a Mustang.
00:15:45It's like saying, I've formed a punk band.
00:15:47We've got the cellos.
00:15:48Except for Sebastian, he has a harp.
00:15:50Nobody wants a harp in a punk band.
00:15:52Nobody wants a two-litre EcoBoost engine and a bloody Mustang.
00:15:55You can keep it.
00:15:56We don't want it.
00:15:57Yeah, you just keep it.
00:15:58Keep it.
00:15:59Now, the most important news of the week.
00:16:01As you may have noticed, modern cars now have been given electronic handbrakes rather
00:16:05than a lever, okay?
00:16:06Now, this is a problem, because you can't do a handbrake turn with an electronic button.
00:16:11And this is bad news, because handbrake turns are an essential part of male development,
00:16:16because as we all know, the handbrake lever is connected directly to a girl's sexual appetite.
00:16:22It is.
00:16:24It is.
00:16:25When you're 17, it is.
00:16:26You know it is.
00:16:27You see, in the animal kingdom, a peacock has his feathers.
00:16:30The young man has his handbrake.
00:16:32Exactly.
00:16:33They do the same job.
00:16:34Yeah.
00:16:35And if you have a button, it doesn't work.
00:16:36No.
00:16:37I can remember my first attempt at seduction with the handbrake,
00:16:40when I was 17 years old.
00:16:41I was going to pick up this girl called Liz, from outside a pub.
00:16:44And I had it all planned.
00:16:45I would go in, and I'd get on the handbrake, and slew it round, like the Italian job, and
00:16:49the rest was a formality, obviously.
00:16:51I went through the gate, quite hot.
00:16:53Pulled on the lever, and that was when the cable snapped.
00:16:56I think it was because I'd spent the previous day practising, you see.
00:17:00Oh, you would practise your handbrake turn ready for a day.
00:17:03Oh, but you have to wear your bow tie.
00:17:04I wish I had.
00:17:05What?
00:17:06No.
00:17:07I remember taking a girl called Cathy home one night, I was 17, and my mum's Audi.
00:17:10And she lived in the middle of a field.
00:17:12And I do mean right in the middle of a field.
00:17:14No tracks or anything.
00:17:15Was she called Ermintrude?
00:17:16Did she wear a nice big bell?
00:17:19No.
00:17:20She wasn't a cow, or a horse.
00:17:23Oh, no.
00:17:24What?
00:17:25So anyway, I'm going down the grassy hill to the house, and thought, I know what'll tip
00:17:29her over the edge.
00:17:30Whoop!
00:17:31Her pirouetted straight through her dad's hedge.
00:17:34Was she impressed?
00:17:36Well, no, I know she was, because she pulled a face that was exactly like this.
00:17:42That's the face!
00:17:43Well, that's the face they pull in that part of the mating ritual, I know, because I have
00:17:47seen that face.
00:17:48When I was a young man, 17, borrowing my dad's car, diesel, Astra, estate, and I was giving
00:17:53Katie from college a lift home, she lived in a farm, down farm tracks, and I'd already
00:17:58warmed her up with a bit of rally driving.
00:18:01There was already a sexual tension in the car.
00:18:04And I thought, I'll seal the deal with the handbrake lever, yanked it on, slewed round,
00:18:09hit a rock, and she pulled back it out.
00:18:11What, Luke?
00:18:12Sometimes girls say, what did you do that for?
00:18:14That's it.
00:18:15But what they're actually saying is, I'm ready.
00:18:17But I never got, I never got that face from Liz, because as far as she was concerned,
00:18:24she didn't know I'd tried to do a handbrake turn, because I just got that twang, there's
00:18:28any twang I got on that evening actually.
00:18:30But as far as she could see, I just parked badly the wrong way round, then just got out
00:18:35of the car, she just thought I was an arse.
00:18:38I think I know why they're doing it, it's to cut down on unwanted teenage pregnancy.
00:18:44Yeah.
00:18:45And it could work.
00:18:46It's a clever thought.
00:18:47It will probably work, but it'll also cut down on the future of mankind.
00:18:51I think it's an inspiration.
00:18:52What?
00:18:53No, because if you think about it, if a man can't use a handbrake to pull a girl, what's
00:18:57he gonna do?
00:18:58There's gonna be a lot of frustrated men around.
00:19:00You may have to talk to her.
00:19:01No!
00:19:02No!
00:19:03Car makers, please stop it.
00:19:06You're meddling with forces unseen and more powerful than you.
00:19:10Can we get back to cars?
00:19:11Yeah, let's do it.
00:19:12Now, Peugeot, as we know, are the worst driven cars on the road.
00:19:16They're always doing 40 in the outside lane, they're always in the way.
00:19:20But now there is a new car from Peugeot, we have it here in the studio.
00:19:25It's called the Onyx, it looks absolutely fantastic, and you will notice that some of the
00:19:31the new work is made from copper, just like the boiler tubes on a Gresley A4 Streamliner
00:19:37Pacific.
00:19:38Yes, James, yes, yes, yes.
00:19:39And it's actually untreated copper, so over time it will turn green, unless a scrap metal
00:19:45merchant removes it in the middle of the night.
00:19:48Inside, they've continued the theme of using unusual materials, so the dashboard here, that's
00:19:53made out of recycled newspaper.
00:19:56I'm guessing they'll have used the Guardian for everything on the left, and the Telegraph
00:19:59for everything on the right.
00:20:01Actually, the newspaper's good, because it means there's no need to Bluetooth your phone
00:20:04to it, and the dashboard will already have listened to your messages.
00:20:09The engine is a 680 horsepower V8 turbo diesel 100, and that means the top speed in the outside
00:20:18lane of 40.
00:20:20Anyway, this is the future, perhaps, but now we must return to the present, because we have
00:20:26some important information.
00:20:28The Kia C apostrophe D, which we use as our reasonably priced car, has been updated.
00:20:33And the new version is taking the world by storm.
00:20:44This is it.
00:20:45It's only been on sale for eight months, and already it has won the coveted Northern Car
00:20:50of the Year award.
00:20:52A chap called Derek Grocock, who's Vice Chairman of the Northern Group of Motoring Writers, said
00:20:59it had impressed the judges with its comfort, value, reliability, quality, and its seven-year
00:21:07warranty.
00:21:10But this is Top Gear, and we're interested in, well, all of that, obviously, but rather more
00:21:17besides.
00:21:20So now, let's see how well it does at all the things which matter to us.
00:21:35Now, of course, there's only one man we can turn to for an answer.
00:21:38Matt LeBlanc, the fastest star we've ever had in our reasonably priced car.
00:21:44Of course, Matt lives in Los Angeles, but luckily, he appreciated the importance of the question.
00:22:02First, the old car.
00:22:09Old versus new.
00:22:11The age-old question.
00:22:14And now, the new version.
00:22:29Ah, that new car smell, huh?
00:22:44So, there we are.
00:22:52Thanks a lot.
00:22:54Anytime.
00:22:56With Matt gone, I moved on to a test I could handle myself.
00:23:02Well, I'm coming up now to a row of parked cars in a top-of-the-range C-apostrophe-D, which has this little button down here.
00:23:17Now, if I push it, sensors start to scan the gaps to see if any of them are big enough for me to park in.
00:23:24What about this gap here?
00:23:25What about this gap here?
00:23:27I don't think that's big enough.
00:23:29Does the car agree?
00:23:31Little bong if it thinks it's big enough.
00:23:34Nope, it didn't like that.
00:23:35What about this one?
00:23:36There it is.
00:23:37Now, that's very impressive, but what it does next is even better, because if I put it in reverse, I'm told this will go into that gap with no steering input at all from me.
00:23:52And to see if that's true, I'm going to wear a blindfold, okay?
00:23:57I can now see nothing at all.
00:24:00Here we go.
00:24:04Easing it backwards.
00:24:06Hands not on the wheel.
00:24:09Oh, my God, it's turning.
00:24:11Oh, now this is spooky.
00:24:15I'm going to get some beeps to tell me when I'm close to the car behind.
00:24:20There we are.
00:24:23And I'll put it in drive.
00:24:26This...
00:24:31This is weird now.
00:24:33If I take this off and I'm parked, I shall be amazed.
00:24:45So now let's consider some rather more important questions.
00:24:53Yes.
00:24:58Well, we plugged the lead into the auxiliary socket and asked a local guitarist to try it out.
00:25:04He seemed quite impressed.
00:25:05So far, then, the little Keir is passing all our tests and passing them well.
00:25:13But I know what you're thinking.
00:25:14This is a big problem.
00:25:18Because if you have your container of water for the eel, and even a small amount of sodium, I've only got a hundred grams here, and the two were to come into contact with one another, the results are going to come into contact with one another.
00:25:32The results could be catastrophic, as I shall now demonstrate.
00:25:48Time and time again, we hear about eel and sodium salesmen who are going about their business, when all of a sudden...
00:26:10their car explodes.
00:26:22To make sure that doesn't happen in the seed, special segregated trays are fitted underneath the boot floor.
00:26:29So you can have your sodium in one tray, separated from the water, into which I'm now going to place a eel.
00:26:37There we go.
00:26:39No, don't jiggle about.
00:26:41You'll get water on the sodium, that's what happens to your mum.
00:26:44Stay...
00:26:46Good eel.
00:26:48Excellent.
00:26:49Now we'll just close the boot floor.
00:26:52That really is an intelligent piece of design.
00:27:00So now let's look at another vital issue that was not addressed by Mr Growcock.
00:27:19Yes, he can, and he managed to do that without getting any more blood or oil on his shirt.
00:27:35Yes, it is.
00:27:37A mid-range 1.6 litre Kia is 17,195.
00:27:41A mid-range 1.6 litre Focus, 17,2.
00:27:44So for the price of the Focus, you can have a Kia plus £5 to spend on...
00:27:51er...
00:27:53£5 worth of things?
00:27:58Of course, there was a time when Kias were cheaper than their European rivals because they were very nasty.
00:28:04But those days are gone.
00:28:06This really is not nasty at all.
00:28:09I think it's good looking on the outside, it's good looking on the inside as well.
00:28:12It's got sophisticated, independent rear suspension so you can stick it into a corner.
00:28:19Pretty confident that you'll come out OK on the other side.
00:28:23It's well equipped.
00:28:25And it's passed nearly all of our tests with flying colours.
00:28:31The Kia C-D then.
00:28:33Good enough for Mr Growcock and good enough as well for Top Gear.
00:28:36For Top Gear.
00:28:46Very thorough.
00:28:48Very, very thorough.
00:28:50A lot.
00:28:52A lot of information there.
00:28:54A lot of important information.
00:28:55Yeah, absolutely.
00:28:56But for me the most impressive thing was that parking system.
00:28:59Oh I know, that is uncanny.
00:29:01Although I should say in fairness, you can also get that system on Fords and Volkswagens and Toyotas these days.
00:29:07Yeah. Anyway, the thing is between you, Mr Growcock, Eric Clapton...
00:29:11Bruce Willis.
00:29:12And Matt LeBlanc.
00:29:13Does that leave the Kia completely covered?
00:29:15No, not quite.
00:29:17Because there is one more important question we have to deal with.
00:29:21Is there? Is there really?
00:29:23Is it can a badger drive it?
00:29:25That's quite a good idea but no.
00:29:27It's can you play rugby in it?
00:29:29Rugby?
00:29:30Yeah, no, rugby.
00:29:32If you're watching in America, rugby's a bit like American football only it's played by men.
00:29:36And you're going to try and play in a car?
00:29:39Yes, it is one of the most ambitious things we've ever attempted.
00:29:43And we'll see how it does later on.
00:29:45Now though, it's time to put a star in our reasonably priced car.
00:29:49Now, my guest tonight is a young chap from Hertfordshire who recently got a new Mercedes and wants to come and tell us all about it.
00:29:55Now normally we'd tell him to get lost.
00:29:58But we decided to make an exception on this occasion because...
00:30:01Well, his name, ladies and gentlemen, is Lewis Hamilton!
00:30:09Right!
00:30:11You're back!
00:30:13You're back!
00:30:15Lewis is among us!
00:30:19Have a seat. Have a seat.
00:30:22Feels good to be there.
00:30:25That's true.
00:30:27Obviously the first question is the big one.
00:30:29You have moved from McLaren to Mercedes.
00:30:33Is that not a bit like moving from Manchester United to West Ham?
00:30:38Well, firstly, thanks for the warm welcome everyone. How are you doing?
00:30:42Don't change the subject.
00:30:44Good to be back.
00:30:46Yeah, no, it's a big change for me obviously, but I'm really, really excited about it.
00:30:50You know, everyone is criticising it and everyone has their own opinions.
00:30:53But, you know, for me, I've been at McLaren since I was 13. It was a long, long period there.
00:30:59And, you know, I wanted to change. I'm a risk taker. That's how I...
00:31:03There's a risk and a risk because McLaren have won, what, 182 races.
00:31:07Mercedes has won...
00:31:09Yeah.
00:31:10Won in five years. So, what makes you think...
00:31:11Well, they won the championship, didn't they?
00:31:14Well, it was absolutely brawn.
00:31:15It was brawn.
00:31:16Well, technically not. Have they told you that?
00:31:19Well, we've won.
00:31:21We've won. It was...
00:31:22No, you're right. You know, they've really struggled the last few years.
00:31:24But I think what it is, is, you know, when the rules came out in 2009,
00:31:28everyone came out with the design of a car and they started out...
00:31:31And every year after that, it's an evolution of that car.
00:31:33And they started off on the wrong foot.
00:31:35And they've just been on the wrong foot since then.
00:31:37There's one of the things I thought...
00:31:39You had to do a lot of PR work, I think, at McLaren, didn't you?
00:31:43I mean, everybody knows that's dreadful.
00:31:45Yeah.
00:31:46You'll buy this terrible thing that sponsors our car.
00:31:48And is there going to be less of that with...
00:31:49A lot less, yeah.
00:31:50A lot less.
00:31:51Yeah.
00:31:52That's a good enough...
00:31:53Why didn't you just say, because I have to do less standing around talking rubbish?
00:31:55It's not that. It's just...
00:31:56It was just...
00:31:57There was so many good things about the opportunity to go somewhere where
00:32:00they're struggling and hopefully be a part of something that's going to get somewhere
00:32:03and become great.
00:32:04Michael did it years ago with Ferrari and there's no other driver that's done that, really.
00:32:08So I want to do something like that.
00:32:10So we needn't to expect to see you leading everybody round from pole position to...
00:32:14No, definitely. You definitely shouldn't expect that this year.
00:32:16Because initial testing has not been completely successful so far.
00:32:19No, it wasn't good.
00:32:21Brake failure in my 14th lap.
00:32:23It was pretty fast.
00:32:24Yeah, well, I was at the end of the back straight going into turn six
00:32:27and hit the brakes at like 180 miles an hour, 190.
00:32:31And then nothing happened.
00:32:32It just went straight into...
00:32:33So when you put your foot on the brake paddle and you're going 180 and nothing happens...
00:32:37Poo!
00:32:41No, you do swear, though.
00:32:43Do you have time to think of a swear word?
00:32:45Yeah, you do.
00:32:46And you have time to brace.
00:32:47Do you?
00:32:48Yeah, so I was going towards the wall and I just remember just holding on for dear life.
00:32:52Knowing that was going to hurt.
00:32:53Did it hurt?
00:32:54It did, yeah.
00:32:55Particularly my legs.
00:32:56For some reason, I don't know.
00:32:57I went in straight head, but my legs seem to hurt when I go straight into a wall.
00:33:02Well, it does.
00:33:03Now, I do know what I need to talk to you about.
00:33:06The handbrake in the modern car.
00:33:11Have you ever thought, if I pull this, she...
00:33:14I'm sure I have.
00:33:15In my first...
00:33:16In the first years as I was driving, I'm sure.
00:33:17You said this earlier, and it is one of the weirdest things, because I think we're all fairly
00:33:27clear.
00:33:28Girls don't like men who do handbrake turns, but we think they do.
00:33:31Yeah, my girlfriend loves it.
00:33:32Does she?
00:33:33I have a good story, actually, about handbrake turns.
00:33:36I was, years ago, and I was at a car team race in Italy with Nico as my teammate.
00:33:41Actually, so it's 2000.
00:33:42And me, my dad, and Keke Rosberg were on the way to the track, and my dad was driving down
00:33:49this country lane, which off the edge of the road drops down into a field, and it's like
00:33:53a meter drop.
00:33:54Keke all of a sudden just pulls the handbrake while my dad's driving, and he has...
00:33:58And my dad doesn't really know how to drive that well.
00:34:01He thinks he's a great driver, but, you know, and he was not expecting it.
00:34:05He's not here to argue.
00:34:06Lost the back end of the car and put it down into the ditch, and we had to leave it there
00:34:10and walk to the track.
00:34:11Well, there wasn't even a girl in the car who was Keke trying to impress.
00:34:15I don't know.
00:34:16Your dad!
00:34:17My dad, yeah.
00:34:18Keke's gay!
00:34:19And on that bombshell...
00:34:29Now, I know that you've been very much looking forward to coming back here.
00:34:35Yep.
00:34:36I have.
00:34:37You have been here before.
00:34:38Yep.
00:34:392008, right?
00:34:40Now, most guests do a lap, take the weather on the chin, whatever it may be, snow, ice,
00:34:45rain, and then go away.
00:34:47You didn't do that, though.
00:34:48You were cross, weren't you, about your...
00:34:49Yeah, well, I wasn't happy that it was raining, and...
00:34:52Well, it was wet.
00:34:53I'm told that you took the...
00:34:55Our producer, round the back...
00:35:00And the deal was done, that you could come back and try again when the track was dry.
00:35:05Yep.
00:35:06I mean, this was a bloody quick time.
00:35:081.44, and it was wet.
00:35:10But it did annoy you.
00:35:11No, it went oily.
00:35:12Oily, wasn't it?
00:35:13Yeah, right, yeah.
00:35:14He said...
00:35:15He said...
00:35:16He said...
00:35:17Was it wet and oily?
00:35:18I thought that was always said.
00:35:19Is it wet and oily?
00:35:20Wet and oily, he said.
00:35:21Where did the oil come from?
00:35:22He said someone in the last corner dumped some oil, like they blew a clock down.
00:35:24It'll come out of Hammond's hair.
00:35:27Obviously, Thorne in your side here, Sebastian, sits at the top.
00:35:32That irritates you?
00:35:33Mm-hmm.
00:35:34He's had the best car for God knows how many years, and he's also the quickest on top of
00:35:40it, so...
00:35:41So you wanted to come and do something about that?
00:35:42Every driver wants to.
00:35:43I'm sure all the drivers...
00:35:44I mean, I remember when Rubens came and did the time, we went to the driver's briefing
00:35:47in Germany, and he brought everyone a shirt.
00:35:50And he gave himself, I beat the Stig, and everyone else, the Stig beat me.
00:35:55So, you didn't do your lap today?
00:35:58No.
00:35:59You came down and did the lap many months ago.
00:36:01So, who'd like to see Lewis practicing for his lap?
00:36:04Yes!
00:36:05Let's have a look.
00:36:06Here we go, second to last corner, catches all of our guests out, including one Lewis Hamilton.
00:36:14Is that me?
00:36:15Yes!
00:36:16I only put it on to make all the other guests feel better, because they'll go, oh no, I spun
00:36:28off, and now it goes.
00:36:29So, well, at least Lewis Hamilton did exactly the same thing in exactly the same place.
00:36:33Nevertheless, you then lined up to do your lap again.
00:36:36Who here would like to see it?
00:36:38Yes!
00:36:39Here we go.
00:36:40There's, of course, the old Lyanna.
00:36:43Oh, that's a good gear change.
00:36:46Come on, baby!
00:36:47Here we go.
00:36:48Yes, we don't use the C apostrophe D for Formula One drivers.
00:36:52You all have to drive that.
00:36:54It's nice to see it back, looking tall and ungainly and slow.
00:37:05I thought you were determined to go fastest.
00:37:07I was.
00:37:09Singing, it's like Kimi Raikkonen looking at the planes.
00:37:12Oh!
00:37:13Look where you're going!
00:37:15This is the sort of man who looks like he's determined to go faster than Sebastian Vettel.
00:37:21Oh, look at that.
00:37:22Didn't even cut the corner.
00:37:23I'm very impressed.
00:37:24Not surprised, but I'm very impressed.
00:37:26Here we go.
00:37:27Peace!
00:37:28After the cameraman.
00:37:29Hello!
00:37:30It's close to the tyres.
00:37:32Ooh, a couple of bikes at the cherry.
00:37:33Oh, that's nicely done.
00:37:34That seems like it handles quite well, bless it.
00:37:35It does!
00:37:36And there we are, everyone, across the line.
00:37:37Nice.
00:37:38And there we are, everyone, across the line.
00:38:02There's no point asking you where you want to come.
00:38:07No, you know.
00:38:08You know where you want to come.
00:38:09There's no point.
00:38:10Well, Lewis Hamilton.
00:38:11Mmm.
00:38:12Mmm.
00:38:13So it was a 1.44 that Sebastian did, and Lewis Hamilton, you did it, in 1, 40, 2.
00:38:29Unbelievable.
00:38:32Unbelievably fast time.
00:38:36No way.
00:38:37You can now, I'll leave it there.
00:38:43Well, you've been concentrated.
00:38:49Wow.
00:38:50Jeez.
00:38:51Holy crap.
00:38:52Please.
00:38:53I'm really surprised.
00:38:54You didn't even look like you were concentrated.
00:38:57No, it's been months, and I've been, no, you guys wouldn't even tell me.
00:39:00No, I know we'd never tell you.
00:39:01And I was thinking to myself, I'm going to be so disappointed in myself if I didn't do
00:39:05a competitive time.
00:39:06Anyway, he's now hung himself.
00:39:10And obviously everybody here is very pleased to have a Brit back on the top of the League.
00:39:15When I say everybody here, there is one man who's not very pleased.
00:39:18The Stig.
00:39:20He knew about this time months ago when you did the land.
00:39:23This week, well, he left the country.
00:39:25He went to North Korea to do an experiment.
00:39:26We don't know what.
00:39:27So apart from him, everyone's thrilled.
00:39:33Ladies and gentlemen, fastest man we've ever had, Lewis Hamilton.
00:39:36Now, a couple of weeks back, we finished our American road trip at the Mexican border.
00:39:55Last one there had to cross over and test something called the Mostretta, which is a
00:39:59new sports car being made there.
00:40:01Now, Top Gear is not very popular in Mexico because of some comments that were made on
00:40:07the show.
00:40:08And unfortunately, the man who lost that race and who would therefore have to go into Mexico
00:40:14and test the Mostretta was the man who made those comments.
00:40:19Our Director of International Relations, Boutros Boutros Hammond.
00:40:24OK, so here we are in Mexico, but it's all right.
00:40:42I have everything under control.
00:40:43You see?
00:40:47An angry Mexican looks in.
00:40:50They'll see Jeremy, and they hate Jeremy just as much as they hate me.
00:40:54Look at me!
00:40:56Power!
00:40:57Oh!
00:40:58Everything's rubbish!
00:41:00Except, no, because I am now Jeremy, so they'll still cut my head off and then...
00:41:06I haven't thought this through at all, have I?
00:41:08I'm not going to bother with that.
00:41:10OK, let's get this test over with as quickly as possible and get out of here.
00:41:20Eventually, I found a place where no one could see me, and I could get on with some serious
00:41:26road testing.
00:41:31So, what have we got here?
00:41:32Well, it's full name is the Mastretta MXT, and this is the first fully homegrown Mexican
00:41:38car.
00:41:40Now, when most countries make their first car, it's something cheap and practical for the
00:41:47masses.
00:41:48But what the Mexicans have done is skip the intro and gone straight for a sports car.
00:41:55Any similarities between this and an early Lotus Elise are not accidental.
00:42:02It's small, it's compact, leather bucket seats, suede-ish trim here and there.
00:42:09Steering wheel, no bigger than a tortilla, which is a good thing.
00:42:14The interior, the chassis, and the body are all Mexican-made.
00:42:23But the two-litre turbo engine is actually from over the border.
00:42:30It's a Ford, and it makes 250 brake horsepower, enough to take the Mastretta to 60 in 4.9 seconds.
00:42:39Which could be useful if, say, somebody was trying to chase you.
00:42:46And like some lightweight sports cars, the Mastretta offers luxuries such as aircon and a stereo.
00:42:54Got the radio on?
00:42:56Oh, yeah.
00:42:57My favourite.
00:42:58I love this.
00:42:59Despite the equipment, the MXT is no fatty.
00:43:10Weighing in at just 1,050 kilograms, thanks to a chassis made of carbon fibre and aluminium.
00:43:18You can see how they've tried to keep all the car's weight between the wheels, which is why there's absolutely no overhang at the back or the front.
00:43:25Which is all well and good.
00:43:27Still not sure about the styling, though.
00:43:30Looks a bit like an Audi TT that's been squashed in a vice, and that's a good thing.
00:43:34Very good morning.
00:43:36Nice days.
00:43:37I kind of think Ferrari could learn a lot from.
00:43:39I shouldn't sit on it.
00:43:40I don't want to scratch you.
00:43:41Look at that.
00:43:42Sleek.
00:43:43Yeah.
00:43:44The really good thing about the Mastretta, though, is that it pretty much does what it says on the table.
00:43:52For a simple, uncomplicated little track day car, you want it to feel like a go car.
00:43:57This kind of does.
00:44:00It does great.
00:44:02I was waiting for understeer there.
00:44:05There wasn't any.
00:44:06The gear linkage always difficult when the engine is behind you.
00:44:12Works very well.
00:44:15But it's not without faults.
00:44:18The bonnet rattles about a bit.
00:44:21The windscreen wipers occasionally set off for a wanderer all on their own without being asked.
00:44:25The seals around the windows are terrible, hence the noise.
00:44:29And it makes a hell of a noise over the bumps, of which there are a few in Mexico.
00:44:34At 37,000 pounds, it's also nearly 10 grand more than a Lotus Elise.
00:44:40And, unfortunately for me, the fuel tank is small.
00:44:43Hola, patrollo, pompo numero uno, por favore.
00:44:53Despite the flaws, inside the Mastretta is a good little car just waiting to be finished.
00:45:04The thing is, we have kind of been here before in a way.
00:45:07James and Jeremy, when they went to China, were road testing their first attempt in a car and it wasn't brilliant.
00:45:13First attempts never are.
00:45:15But, and who knows, with more time and more practice, one day the name Mastretta might really stand for something.
00:45:23I think, on the whole, that went pretty well.
00:45:38That car's been behind me for a while.
00:45:41He's following me, isn't he?
00:45:42That's, he's, he's following me.
00:45:44Yeah.
00:45:53Really?
00:45:54Really?
00:45:55What?
00:45:56Were you just being nice so you weren't beheaded?
00:45:59No, no, like I said, it is genuinely quite a good little car.
00:46:02And once they sort out some quality issues, it shows real promise.
00:46:06Well, listen.
00:46:07The Hatcher is now buried, okay?
00:46:09I think, thanks to Banky Hammond, we can now move on.
00:46:13Because, tonight, we are subjecting the new Keir C apostrophe D to many, many, very, very thorough tests.
00:46:21And coming up now is the most thorough test of them all.
00:46:26Can you play rugby in it?
00:46:28Since we were being thorough, we didn't bother with some minor league club ground.
00:46:35But headed instead for the home of English rugby.
00:46:39Twickenham.
00:46:42Okay, I'm going to be captaining the grey team, and the silver team will be captained by a man who knows this ground incredibly well.
00:46:57He drives past it almost every day.
00:46:59Um, James.
00:47:00Jeremy.
00:47:01Rules of car rugby.
00:47:02Rules of car rugby.
00:47:03Yeah, and I've got a question straight away, actually.
00:47:04Which is what?
00:47:05Which is what?
00:47:06On behalf of the viewers, I suspect.
00:47:07Don't you have to pass it backwards?
00:47:08In real rugby, yes.
00:47:09Yeah.
00:47:10That's not possible.
00:47:11So we're not doing that.
00:47:12Are we allowed to do this?
00:47:13What, here?
00:47:14Yes.
00:47:15Yes.
00:47:16Has anybody said hallowed ground yet?
00:47:17Well, yeah.
00:47:18Can if you want.
00:47:19Yeah, go on then.
00:47:20On this hallowed ground, we're about to play car rugby.
00:47:23In our game, the C apostrophe Ds will be the speedy backs.
00:47:26And up front, we'll be using Keir Sportages as the hard men, the forwards.
00:47:30So all we need now is a ref.
00:47:33Whee!
00:47:34So we need a ref.
00:47:35Whee!
00:47:36Whee!
00:47:37Now, we're going to be a ref.
00:47:38Whee!
00:47:39Whee!
00:47:40Whee!
00:47:41Whee!
00:47:42Whee!
00:47:43Whee!
00:47:44Whee!
00:47:45Whee!
00:47:46Whee!
00:47:47Whee!
00:47:48Whee!
00:47:49Whee!
00:47:50Whee!
00:47:51Whee!
00:47:52Whee!
00:47:53Whee!
00:47:54Whee!
00:47:55Whee!
00:47:56Whee!
00:47:57Whee!
00:47:58Okay, are you ready, James May?
00:48:00Yeah, I'll just point out that the referee can't speak, and he probably doesn't know the
00:48:03rules.
00:48:04But yes, I'm ready.
00:48:05As team captains, Clarkson and I were both in cars numbered four.
00:48:10Whee!
00:48:11Whee!
00:48:12Whee!
00:48:13Whee!
00:48:14Whee!
00:48:15Whee!
00:48:16Whee!
00:48:17Whee!
00:48:18Whee!
00:48:19Whee!
00:48:20And punt!
00:48:21What how many shots will feel?
00:48:22Whee!
00:48:23Whee!
00:48:24Whee!
00:48:25Whee!
00:48:26Yes!
00:48:27They're reversing.
00:48:28Look how from frightening them.
00:48:29Ahhh, I've lost it.
00:48:32Whee!
00:48:33Whee!
00:48:34Whee!
00:48:35Whee!
00:48:36Whee!
00:48:37Whee!
00:48:39Yes!
00:48:41Oh, it's still mine.
00:48:45Now I've lost it.
00:48:50Oh, look at this, he's carrying it.
00:48:52He's picked up the ball and he's running with it.
00:48:58Bravely, James tried to block my beefy forward.
00:49:02Right, we can get this back.
00:49:03Oh, well done, man. Well done, I'm loving your play.
00:49:12Then, Grave 5 broke free.
00:49:19Yes, I'm here and ready.
00:49:22Yes!
00:49:24Yes!
00:49:26Yes! No!
00:49:28Yes!
00:49:30Yes!
00:49:34What a try!
00:49:43Having established the C apostrophe D could score a try,
00:49:47it was now time to see if it could do the next bit.
00:49:52OK, time for a conversion.
00:49:55Why does he do that?
00:49:58Why does Johnny Wilkinson do this?
00:50:03Right, here we go.
00:50:07Ah, twicken him!
00:50:10Yes!
00:50:12No, no, no!
00:50:14Rubbish.
00:50:15Ball in play!
00:50:19Come on, winger!
00:50:20Come on!
00:50:22I should explain, James May is using a diesel, has a higher top speed than my 1.6 litre petrol, but...
00:50:34I have better acceleration, less weight.
00:50:36Oh, no, this is bad. They're free!
00:50:38Come on, winger!
00:50:40Winger!
00:50:42Winger!
00:50:44Winger!
00:50:46Winger!
00:50:48Winger!
00:50:50Winger!
00:50:52Winger!
00:50:54Winger!
00:50:56Oh, no, this is bad. They're free!
00:50:59Come on, winger!
00:51:01Winger! Winger!
00:51:02Winger!
00:51:06Nice play, guys, nice play.
00:51:09Ooh!
00:51:11Violent move there, must be James.
00:51:13And was...
00:51:15Keep it in! Keep it in!
00:51:20Aha! It's gone out!
00:51:22I think you'll find that's a grey throw-in.
00:51:25What's a grey throw-in?
00:51:26This is a grey car.
00:51:27No, but your bloke knocked that edge.
00:51:28He didn't!
00:51:29He did!
00:51:30He didn't!
00:51:31I'm gonna go and ask the ref.
00:51:35Whose throw-in was that?
00:51:38Silver? Grey? Can you point?
00:51:41The worst referee I've ever come across!
00:51:44I told James the ref had said it was a grey throw-in.
00:51:50So now it was time for our first line-out.
00:51:55This is a very useful feature of the Seed.
00:51:58It's small, compact, so you can get a good run-up for taking a line-out.
00:52:01Here we go.
00:52:06Here we go.
00:52:07And...
00:52:08Put a wheel spin and pump!
00:52:11Oh, push, push, push!
00:52:17I'm against the bigger man, car.
00:52:20Use that torque!
00:52:22Ah, they're only front-wheel-drive, those Sportages, but they have power.
00:52:26Come on, team!
00:52:27Where's the ball gone? There it is.
00:52:32James had the ball and was heading for the try-line.
00:52:36Dribbling? What's it called in rugby?
00:52:38Running with it.
00:52:40But we soon put a stop to that.
00:52:47So now my grey team had the advantage.
00:52:51Go, number five! Go, go, go!
00:52:54Ain't no stopping him now!
00:52:56He's on the move, he's in the groove.
00:52:59Yes!
00:53:02Come on, number three!
00:53:07That is a try!
00:53:14This is hopeless, we're getting thrashed at this.
00:53:16Weirdly, my team let me have another go at a conversion.
00:53:22Right, I'm going for a massive, massive, massive kick this time.
00:53:26Go over!
00:53:28Yes! Yes! It's a big one!
00:53:32Go over!
00:53:36Yes! Yes! It's a big one!
00:53:38Yes! It's a big one!
00:53:48At this point, the ref signalled half-time.
00:53:52And in the dressing rooms we had the obligatory team talks.
00:53:56Right, chaps, we're all fine athletes, I think anybody can see that, but there is a lot we can learn from actual rugby players, and this was drawn up for a recent match they played.
00:54:08And this is what I want you to concentrate on in the second half, mindset.
00:54:12Go for it, enjoy it, never give in.
00:54:15And I think we can add a fourth to that, which is ram James May.
00:54:21Ram him whenever you see him, and ram him hard.
00:54:25Really hard.
00:54:27Gentlemen, I don't want to put too fine a point on this, it's half-time, we're losing, you're a bit crap.
00:54:32Now, when we're on the attack, because we're getting very messy, go up the pitch together in formation so we can pass, straight up, but be ready to come back down again.
00:54:41Very important, reversing if necessary.
00:54:44If not, you can get to the other end and you can quite easily do a handbrake turn around the post.
00:54:48Either side, handbrake turn around the post, up you go again to the top, kill Clarkson, that's all you have to do.
00:54:54Any questions?
00:55:00We knew as the second half began, we had it all to do.
00:55:05Right, my blokes need to get in there and batter them.
00:55:12The lads did just that.
00:55:14And soon, I got a break.
00:55:24It's a run.
00:55:26I'm coming in from the back.
00:55:30I know that's Clarkson trying to tackle me.
00:55:33Yes!
00:55:35That's a try!
00:55:39Oh, God!
00:55:45Naturally, I elected to take the conversion.
00:55:51Please miss, please miss.
00:55:55Oh, he's done it!
00:55:57Give me that!
00:55:59Give me that!
00:56:00Damn it!
00:56:05May's comeback wasn't the only problem.
00:56:09Oh, dear, this hello turf is starting to get a bit messed up, if I'm honest.
00:56:12And things really weren't helped by the scrums.
00:56:19Oh, no, it's... I'm stuck, I've dug a big hole, I can't...
00:56:22Ha ha ha!
00:56:23But on the upside, everything was lovely inside the Kias.
00:56:27See, normally when people play rugby they get hot and they get sweaty.
00:56:33But I'm not having any of that here.
00:56:36But on the upside, everything was lovely inside the Kiers.
00:56:43See, normally when people play rugby, they get hot and they get sweaty.
00:56:48But I'm not having any of that here.
00:56:51I've got the air conditioning set just so, I'm not hot, I'm sitting down.
00:56:56Whilst I was distracted by the Kia, Team May broke through again.
00:57:01We're on the run.
00:57:03Stop him, somebody!
00:57:05This is what we want.
00:57:09Here we go.
00:57:12That's a try.
00:57:16Beautiful!
00:57:20Worse still, James got a second successful conversion.
00:57:25Yes!
00:57:26Putting his team ahead.
00:57:28Oh, they're destroying us in this phase of play!
00:57:31With just two points in it and the rain turning Twickenham's hallowed turf into a muddy skating rink, the play became dirty and violent.
00:57:45Classic rugby weather.
00:57:47Classic rugby weather.
00:57:51Un molt sluts.
00:58:03You'd say, viewers at this point, I've no idea what Jeremy has said in the rest of this test.
00:58:07of this test i can confirm though that the c apostrophe d crashes quite well coming in for a
00:58:15try oh creaky moses these things are built like bricklamatories
00:58:25which was good because on this surface stopping was becoming a bit of an issue
00:58:30football that we use to play car football oh shit is well suited to a
00:58:40sorry that was a total mistake my fault that's not cricket it's actually not that bad it'll buff out
00:58:48despite some injuries all the gears were still playing as the match entered its final phase
00:58:55oh he's on a run oh come on man
00:59:03pass it don't try and get through pass no it's us it's us go go go yes yes yes looking good
00:59:18oh don't back up go
00:59:25yes that is a try
00:59:46i think we've learned two things tonight number one if you want to play rugby in a car the c apostrophe d
00:59:53is brilliant it's fast it's agile and it's tough but perhaps more importantly we've learned that
00:59:59grass is not a good surface um i mean we've only played one match here and look the pitch
01:00:05is completely ruined absolutely ruined
01:00:10they're gonna have to pave this over really
01:00:21oh hold on hold on hold on do you know why they call it hallowed turf
01:00:31because it is hallowed do you know what hallowed means
01:00:37temporary yes yes james our father who art in heaven temporary be thy name oh yeah i do think
01:00:44we owe everyone an apology yes you do because we've just shown strong pornography before the
01:00:51watershed sorry what all that handbrake action oh yeah every single girl watching tonight will be
01:00:58cross-eyed they don't see two fat middle-aged men anymore what they're seeing here is bradley cooper
01:01:03and ryan reynolds i'm not sure the handbrake lever is that effective yes it is and on that bombshell
01:01:10it is time to end thank you so much for watching good night
01:01:23i'm gonna get a picture of this
01:01:46i'm gonna get a picture of this
01:01:50that is
01:01:53i'm gonna get a picture of this
01:01:57that is
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