- 1 week ago
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00To be continued...
00:30Inside this cage is the most ferocious animal on the planet.
00:37If it gets out, don't bother calling for help.
00:40You won't have time.
00:42So if you value your life, you'll keep the cage locked.
00:46Never remove this lock.
00:50Any questions?
00:52Nope.
01:00Hey mister, you forgot your rock.
01:16Hmm.
01:40Sleep well?
01:41Why?
01:42Are you implying that I wet the bed?
01:43Uh, you get the paper.
01:47I'm gonna make coffee.
01:48Are you implying that I don't know how to make coffee?
01:51You don't know how to make coffee.
01:52Hmm.
01:58Another boring day in the suburbs.
02:00Huh?
02:01Didn't she get the paper?
02:18Do you know how to do anything around here?
02:20Don't open that.
02:21There's a wild animal out there.
02:24It's a dog.
02:25That is no dog.
02:28It's a dog.
02:32Are you lost, Poochie?
02:36Maybe he belongs to one of our neighbors.
02:39He's a wild animal.
02:40He can't possibly belong to one of our neighbors.
02:42Well, then maybe we should keep him.
02:44But what if he belongs to one of our neighbors?
02:51Oh, hello.
02:53We're sorry to bother you, but did you lose a pet?
02:57Lose a pet?
02:59Oh, I don't gamble.
03:01I mean, I'll buy a lottery ticket now and then.
03:04No, no.
03:05Not a pet.
03:06A pet.
03:08We found this dog.
03:10Oh, you found my clog.
03:12Oh, thank goodness.
03:14I've been looking everywhere for it.
03:17Oh, brother.
03:18Forget the clog.
03:19What she really needs is a hearing aid.
03:21Hearing aid?
03:22What's a cheering maid?
03:25You know, a cheering maid.
03:27It's basically a cheerleader who cleans your house.
03:30Sometimes they'll get in pyramid formations.
03:31They wear cute little pleated skirts that can double as mops.
03:38I thought I saw a Tasmanian devil.
03:41Nice try, bird.
03:44I did.
03:45I did see a Tasmanian devil.
03:49Come on, lady.
03:51Cheering maid.
03:52They wax the floors with their ponytails.
03:55They chant the names of various food products.
03:58They vacuum your floors while dating the captain of the football.
04:01They do W-I-N-D-O-W-S.
04:06Window.
04:07With...
04:08Dose.
04:09Whoa.
04:10And dry your laundry by waving it like a flag.
04:13You know, cute little girls with names like Cindy, Margie, Brittany.
04:16There's always a Brittany.
04:18With her toothy little smile and feathered up.
04:20What don't you understand?
04:22They're real energetic.
04:24They use pom-poms instead of sponges.
04:26Wait.
04:27Why are we still talking about cheering maid?
04:29Is this your dog or not?
04:31Do I do the foxtrot?
04:33Why, yes, of course.
04:35Oh, yeah.
04:36Oh, doo-doo.
04:37Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
04:39You know what?
04:41Let's just keep the mangy beast.
04:43Because I can't take another second of this.
04:45You hear that, boy?
04:47You got a new home.
05:07Stop my recliner!
05:09Aw, he must be hungry.
05:11You stay here and keep an eye on Poochie while I go get him some dog food.
05:18Say, now that I think about it, he's going to need a dog bowl, too.
05:21And a dog collar.
05:23And a dog leash.
05:24And a dog bed.
05:27Oh, maybe a little dog sweater.
05:30All right, you filthy beast.
05:32Drop it!
05:35Mother!
05:36Easy, boy.
05:37Easy.
05:38Sorry if the filthy beast remark came off a little harsh.
05:41I meant it as a compliment.
05:43You know, like, look at that filthy beast.
05:45I like to party with that guy.
05:49Oh, come on.
05:50You don't want to hurt me.
05:52I'm a sweet guy.
05:54Not sweet isn't delicious.
05:56Just sweet isn't my personality.
05:58Everyone who knows me says I'm extremely tender.
06:00I mean, you know, tender nice.
06:03Not like my meat is tender.
06:04Although duck meat is one of your more tender meats.
06:06Oh, no.
06:07I've said too much.
06:10Yeah!
06:11Animal control.
06:15There's a monster in my house that's trying to kill me.
06:18What are you doing out here?
06:46Hey, you're supposed to be watching Poochie.
06:49Poochie is a psychotic monster!
06:51He hunted me like I was his prey!
06:54If you don't want to watch the dog, just say so.
06:57You can't go in there!
06:58It's a death sentence!
06:59We gotta sell the house!
07:00Start out new!
07:01This neighborhood's a bummer anyway!
07:03Wait.
07:04Since this is the last time I'm ever going to see you alive,
07:07there's a few things I need to tell you.
07:09Remember that time someone ate all your Halloween candy
07:12and I said it must have been aliens?
07:15It was me.
07:16And remember that time someone ordered all those pay-per-view movies
07:19and I said it was aliens?
07:21That was me too.
07:23And remember that time you were abducted by aliens
07:25and I insisted it was me?
07:27I lied.
07:28It was aliens.
07:37Poochie!
07:38I'm home!
07:43A gruesome tragedy's gonna make it a lot harder to sell this house.
07:47My glamour shot!
07:57My tennis trophy!
07:59My glamour shot of my tennis trophy!
08:03No!
08:04Hey!
08:05What's going on out here?
08:07We're trying to celebrate my niece's quinceanera.
08:09It's a special day and you're ruining it.
08:12Now please, senor buddy, keep it down.
08:17What is that thing?
08:22He's my dog.
08:24Oof, if you say so.
08:25But that's one ugly dog.
08:27How did you do that?
08:28I simply asserted my place as the alpha dog.
08:32See?
08:33See?
08:34He's calm because now he knows I am not afraid of him.
08:37Down.
08:38Roll over.
08:40You see?
08:41You need to be the alpha dog to him.
08:43Alpha dog, huh?
08:44One disclaimer.
08:45This stuff works on dogs.
08:49And I'm still not convinced that that's a dog.
08:53What is wrong with everyone?
08:56He's obviously a dog.
09:09Good boy.
09:11He's obviously a dog.
09:11He's obviously a dog.
09:42Oh, a dog salon.
09:58You've been such a good boy today, you deserve a little pampering.
10:02Have you seen this animal?
10:05He's very dangerous.
10:07If you see him, call the zoo immediately.
10:12How may I help you?
10:17We'll take the puppy pamper package, please.
10:19We're very busy.
10:21The Worstminster dog show is tonight.
10:23As you can see, every dog who's any dog is here getting ready.
10:27In that case, maybe I should enter my dog.
10:30Well, if you're competing, I can certainly squeeze you in at...
10:33Oh my, what is that?
10:36That's my dog.
10:39Sir, I hate to be the bearer of obvious news, but that is not a dog.
10:45What did you just say?
10:47I said, that thing is not a dog.
10:58For your information, that is a dog.
11:04He may not be the prettiest dog.
11:06He may not be the most refined dog.
11:08But my dog has something that no other dog in here has.
11:15And that is class.
11:17And I'll prove it to you.
11:27Because my dog's gonna win the Worstminster dog show.
11:32And by the way, your salon is a dump.
11:36Come on, Poochie.
11:37You wanna win a trophy?
11:41Oh, what a cute doggie.
11:43Let me get a good look at you.
11:46I've never seen such a cute dog.
11:49What a good boy.
12:05Well, I can't think of anything else to tell you.
12:11Have a good day.
12:13Oh, the excitement is palpable here at the Worstminster dog show.
12:24Pray tell, who do you think is going to win?
12:26I think that one.
12:28Oh, no, maybe that one.
12:29Oh, no, wait.
12:30I didn't see that one.
12:32Oh, you do know there can only be one winner, right?
12:35Well, I guess that's why the excitement is so palpable.
12:41I'm here for my mani-pedi.
12:42Sir, I've told you before, this is a salon for dogs.
12:46Fine.
12:47I wouldn't be caught dead in here anyway.
12:50Your salon is a dump.
12:52It's not our fault.
12:53Some rabbit came in here with a wild beast,
12:56claiming he was going to enter him in the Worstminster dog show.
13:00Bugs.
13:01And people say I'm the crazy one.
13:03What a joke.
13:09I have a better chance of winning a dog show than that thing.
13:15Tasmanian devil?
13:17Danger?
13:18Savage killer?
13:19I've got to warn bugs!
13:23Guitar lessons?
13:24I've got to warn bugs!
13:35I'm coming to save you, bugs!
13:37Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
13:39Hoo, souvenirs!
13:42Up next, bug's bunny and his dog, Poochie!
13:55I'm coming to save you, bugs!
14:01Bugs!
14:03Bugs, look!
14:04You want me to take guitar lessons?
14:11Not that!
14:11This!
14:12Poochie's not a dog!
14:14He's a Tasmanian devil!
14:16What's a Tasmanian devil?
14:19A wild beast
14:20whose insatiable hunger for violence and destruction
14:23combined with its sharp teeth and claws
14:26make him the perfect killing machine!
14:28Killing machine!
14:30Killing machine!
14:31Killing machine!
14:34Killing machine!
14:37Killing machine!
14:42Killing machine!
14:53Killing machine!
14:54Over there!
15:01Look for your lives!
15:02Panic!
15:03Every man from fire!
15:04Women and children last!
15:08Aha! He's under here!
15:10What are you doing?
15:12Saving your life!
15:14My life isn't in danger, but now his is!
15:16But he's a wild animal!
15:18He's a monster!
15:20Have you ever heard the expression,
15:22don't judge a book by its cover?
15:24No. What about, it's what's inside that count?
15:26Uh-uh. Looks can be deceiving. Doesn't ring a bell.
15:28What's wrong with you? Oh, that one I've heard!
15:30The point is,
15:32he may be a Tasmanian devil,
15:34but he's also the best dog
15:36I've ever heard.
15:38Seal all the exits!
15:44I've gotta get him out of here, but how?
15:48Put this on him.
15:52Thanks, Doc. Don't mention it.
15:54I mean, I will, whenever it benefits me.
15:56I'm a Tasmanian devil!
15:58There he is! Get him!
16:04Freeze!
16:06There's a dangerous animal in there.
16:16You make sure you get him home safe.
16:18That's exactly what I plan on doing.
16:20There's a dangerous animal in there.
16:24You make sure you get him home safe.
16:26That's exactly what I plan on doing.
16:28There's a dangerous animal in there.
16:30You make sure you get him home safe.
16:32That's exactly what I plan on doing.
16:34Well, Poochie.
16:46I guess this is it.
16:48I wish I could keep you,
16:50but this is where you belong.
16:52This is where you belong.
16:54So long, buddy.
17:06Go!
17:22Oh, do you have a dog?
17:28I used to.
17:36Poochie?
17:38Hang on, boy.
17:40We're going home.
17:42Wee!
17:44Wee!
17:45Ah!
17:54Ahem!
17:55Beat it!
18:00Do not make me use this!
18:06Choo!
18:08Choo!
18:10Choo!
18:12I prefer the couch anyway.
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