- 1 week ago
Category
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CreativityTranscript
00:00should I buy a new TV or should I buy one of those massage chairs tough life what are you wearing
00:14mall pants what kind of pants mall pants pants you wear to the mall as a sign of respect so
00:20why aren't you wearing a shirt too much respect it's the mall not church also I can't afford a
00:27shirt I suppose I could buy the TV and just go somewhere for a massage no mall underwear huh
00:57keep the change me what's up doc oh uh just granting people's wishes daffy you can't steal coins from
01:09the fountain well then where do you suggest I steal them from I suggest if you need money
01:14you get a job they're hiring at the ice cream shop
01:17give me a job application name address gender what is this Soviet Russia yeah I don't want to work
01:37here anyway not in that stupid uniform I'll take a banana split
01:42one scoop vanilla one scoop chocolate one scoop strawberry
01:48put the strawberry in the middle and now hot fudge only on the vanilla and chocolate
01:58put regular fudge on the strawberry now some whipped cream
02:02easy little more little more little more only on the vanilla kind of fill in that space right there
02:11stop now some nuts no nut dust now this is the complicated part no green sprinkles on the
02:22chocolate yes green sprinkles on the strawberry but both no red sprinkles except on the vanilla
02:28which should receive exclusively red sprinkles
02:31that'll be 585 I've only got 16 cents
02:38get the rest from your tip jar
02:43where do you get all your money I invented the carrot peeler
02:53you invented the carrot peeler daffy I've told you a million times
02:58where do you get all your money where do you get all your money I invented the carrot peeler
03:11where do you get all your money I invented the carrot peeler
03:14but let me get this straight you invented the carrot peeler and now you have enough money to buy
03:20Do whatever you want, whenever you want?
03:24Inventing something is the perfect get-rich-quick scheme.
03:27It's not a scheme.
03:29Invention is 1% inspiration and 99% poispiration.
03:33Well, I'm not big on sweating,
03:35so I'm just going to cut to the chase on this one.
03:45How's it coming in there?
03:50I did it.
03:52I invented something so spectacular
03:54that every man, woman, and child
03:56will wonder how they ever survived without it.
03:58You know when you want bread,
04:00but you don't want the whole loaf?
04:02I call it...
04:03Jaffy Ducks Equally-Sized Bread Pieces!
04:08The rest of the world calls it sliced bread.
04:20Okay.
04:23You know, after you've gone to the bathroom,
04:25you sometimes wish you had something to help you.
04:28You know, clean up.
04:29Like a flushable paper product of some sort.
04:35Jaffy,
04:36are you telling me that you don't use toilet paper?
04:38Mine was going to be called butt paper!
04:49Once again,
04:50it pays to have invented the carrot peeler.
04:53They say history repeats itself.
05:08Well, wouldn't it be amazing
05:10if you could visit the past
05:11and see what really happened for yourself?
05:15Of course, to do this,
05:16there would need to be a device,
05:18a portal,
05:19in which your molecular structure
05:21was broken down
05:22and then reassembled
05:23in the exact same manner.
05:26You invented a time machine?
05:28No.
05:29But if there was such a thing,
05:30and you used it a lot,
05:32you'd probably need...
05:34a big box with a handle on it
05:36to carry your stuff!
05:38A suitcase.
05:39Everything's been invented!
05:46Inventing something is impossible.
05:48How did you do it?
05:50Well,
05:50first you have to be passionate about something.
05:53Next,
05:53I happen to be passionate about carrots.
05:56I put all my ideas into this notebook,
05:59and one of them turned into a little thing called
06:02the carrot peeler.
06:04Now,
06:05if you'll excuse me,
06:06I have a check to deposit.
06:12Let's see what else he's got in here.
06:14An automatic carrot peeler?
06:19That's the most brilliant idea Bugs ever had!
06:22I mean,
06:23that's the most brilliant idea I ever had.
06:26What's so funny?
06:30You know,
06:40I invented that.
06:42Ooh,
06:43I better get home.
06:44They're delivering my massage chair.
06:46Hey!
06:47Get your automatic carrot peeler!
06:50Excuse me,
06:51darling,
06:51may I interest you
06:52in an automatic carrot peeler?
06:54I already have a carrot peeler.
06:56It works great.
06:57Aha!
06:58But with my machine,
06:59you could peel carrots at super speed,
07:01leaving more time for you
07:03and your beautiful daughter.
07:04He's a boy.
07:05Yes,
07:06of course.
07:06A strapping masculine boy.
07:09You know,
07:09my machine peels hundreds of carrots
07:10in mere seconds.
07:11Who wants hundreds of carrots?
07:12I'm not a rabbit.
07:15Your son looks like a girl!
07:16Is that what I think it is?
07:19Did you steal my plans
07:21for the automatic carrot peeler?
07:23Let me explain.
07:24I was young.
07:25I needed the money.
07:26It's the worst recession
07:27since the Great Depression.
07:29Besides,
07:29you weren't using it.
07:30That's because
07:31it's a dumb invention.
07:33No one but me
07:34eats enough carrots
07:35to justify the cost of this thing.
07:37You should have gone with butt paper.
07:40He's right.
07:41No one eats carrots.
07:43Everyone is eating carrots.
07:45A new study came out today
07:46touting their extraordinary health benefits.
07:49Oh,
07:50the automatic carrot peeler
07:51is flying off the shelves.
07:52I'm not even going to carry
07:54the old peeler anymore.
07:55You heard it here, folks.
07:57Time to toss that old carrot peeler
07:59and get the automatic carrot peeler.
08:01That doesn't sound like
08:02it's going to be good
08:03for my checking account.
08:14Do you have any carrots peelers?
08:18As a matter of fact,
08:19I do.
08:22Oh, no one uses those anymore.
08:26I meant an automatic carrot peeler.
08:29How much for the massage chair?
08:32A hundred bucks.
08:34Is it broken?
08:35No.
08:36Is it stolen?
08:37I just bought it.
08:39Why are you selling it?
08:40Because I'm broke.
08:41Oh, that's mighty sad.
08:44I'll give you a dollar.
08:48Aren't you going to take it with you?
08:51Nah, I'll leave it in your yard.
08:52I like my massages
08:54in the great outdoors.
08:55I'm rich!
09:08I'm rich!
09:09I'm rich!
09:10Daffy!
09:12Oh, uh, hey.
09:27What's up?
09:28Can I talk to you for a second?
09:30Of course.
09:30Daffy, I have to sell the house.
09:39Is this because no one's buying
09:41your carrot peeler?
09:42Because everyone's buying
09:43my carrot peeler?
09:44A carrot peeler that I stole
09:46out of your invention notebook?
09:47Because if it is,
09:48I feel like some of this
09:49could be my fault.
09:51It is your fault.
09:52Then let me make it up to you.
09:54How?
09:55I'll buy your house.
09:56What?
09:57You were there for me
09:58when I had nothing.
09:59You took me in
10:00and put a roof over my head.
10:02I'm going to do
10:03the same thing for you.
10:04That's what friends are for.
10:06Nothing will change.
10:08Things will remain
10:09quid pro quo.
10:11You mean status quo.
10:12Ahem.
10:14As long as you live
10:15under my roof,
10:16you don't tell me
10:17what I mean.
10:18I thought you said
10:19nothing would change.
10:21Under my roof,
10:22you'll watch your tone.
10:24I didn't have a tone.
10:25Huh!
10:26My roof.
10:29Excellent work, Giuseppe.
10:38How's work at the ice cream shop?
10:40It was fine until some
10:42joke came in
10:43and ordered the world's
10:45most complicated
10:45banana split.
10:47Hey,
10:47I like what I like.
10:49Whoop.
10:50Back on the ladder, Giuseppe.
10:51You missed that spot.
10:52Uh-uh-uh.
10:53Not on the chair.
10:54It's calfskin.
10:55Uh-uh.
10:57That's ivory.
10:58Well, where am I
10:59supposed to put it?
11:00Why don't you put it
11:01back on and make us dinner
11:03and try not ruining it
11:04like you did breakfast?
11:10I'm sorry you had
11:12to see that, Giuseppe.
11:14And you wouldn't have
11:15if you'd have been working.
11:21A check!
11:22For Daffy.
11:23Son, you can't live
11:26like this.
11:27What do you mean?
11:28A guy like you
11:29wasn't meant to wear
11:30an apron and take orders.
11:32Well, it doesn't look like
11:34I have many options.
11:35Do I look like
11:36I got a lot of options?
11:38Not smart,
11:39I'm not good looking,
11:40and I'm about
11:4119 inches tall.
11:43But no one tells me
11:44what to do.
11:45I am the king
11:46of my castle.
11:47Castle's a figure
11:51of speech, son.
11:52But if it's yours
11:53and yours alone,
11:54it don't matter
11:55if it's the Taj Mahal
11:57or a hole in the ground.
11:59A hole in the ground, huh?
12:02What are you doing?
12:03Massage oil
12:04for the massage chair.
12:06My old hole in the ground.
12:20How did I used to
12:21get into this thing?
12:23Didn't I have a ladder
12:24or something?
12:25Maybe it's not a long drop.
12:26Been thinking for a while
12:40and there's something
12:40I gotta tell you.
12:42Yeah, I'm kind of busy.
12:43Been thinking that
12:44our love for each other
12:45has grown so very strong.
12:47Love?
12:48Wait.
12:48It's plain to see
12:49we're building
12:49our worlds together.
12:51Uh, back up for a minute.
12:52I'm looking in your eyes
12:54right now
12:54and I can tell
12:55you feel the same.
12:56You're joking me.
12:57We are in love.
12:59I am so in love today.
13:02We are in love.
13:04I think I'm gonna run away.
13:06We are in love.
13:08Did you tap my phone lines?
13:11We are in love.
13:13Yes, I tapped your phone lines.
13:15I won't lie,
13:16you're a very pretty lady.
13:19But you're crazy, crazy, crazy.
13:22You make me wanna move
13:23to Bolivia.
13:24I'll go with you.
13:24You know I'm thinking
13:25I should get a restraining order.
13:27Those are so hard to enforce.
13:29Cause your car was parked
13:30outside my house
13:31every night this week.
13:33Your neighbors are sweet.
13:34You're the reason
13:35that I have to
13:35keep my shades drawn.
13:37I'll watch you
13:37through the chimney.
13:38I've installed
13:39an alarm system
13:40with motion beam detectors.
13:42I have the code.
13:43We are in love.
13:45Give me just five minutes.
13:47We are in love.
13:49I think that was five minutes.
13:52We are in love.
13:54Did you just move in with me?
13:57We are in love.
13:58Yes, I just moved in with you.
14:01We are in love.
14:03No, we are not.
14:11That was our first love song.
14:13My old rabbit hole.
14:17A little dustier
14:19than I remember.
14:22Okay, a lot dustier.
14:24But at least
14:25I'm king of my castle.
14:27This is gonna be great.
14:28I don't need to sell
14:29a million carat peelers.
14:30I have everything
14:31I need right here.
14:32I've got a chair.
14:35I've got a lamp.
14:38I've got a chair
14:39and a lamp.
14:40That's all anyone needs.
14:42I love the forest.
14:49Uh-oh.
14:50Sell?
14:58Where's the expensive soup?
15:07Ooh.
15:08Mine's thrown.
15:10Sounds fancy.
15:12What are you doing
15:17with those automatic
15:18carat peelers?
15:19Taking them off the shelves.
15:21They're all being recalled.
15:22What?
15:23Why?
15:24Apparently,
15:25they're highly flammable
15:26and extremely dangerous.
15:28That's impossible.
15:30I should know.
15:30I'm the inventor.
15:32You invented these things?
15:34I'm gonna sue you
15:35for everything you've got.
15:37Hey, everybody!
15:38This jerk's responsible
15:39for the automatic carat peeler.
15:40I want money, man!
15:42Woo!
15:45I hate the forest!
15:51Whoa!
15:52Fuck!
15:54Cassie?
15:55I know I've been
15:56a terrible friend,
15:57but I need your help!
15:58There's a problem
15:59with the automatic carat peeler.
16:01Apparently,
16:02it's highly flammable.
16:03That's impossible!
16:05Step seven of my design
16:06included a coolant system.
16:08Step seven?
16:10I knew I shouldn't have
16:11stopped at step three.
16:12I just got so sleepy.
16:14Anyway,
16:15everyone wants
16:15their money back.
16:16But I spent all the money,
16:18and now they're gonna
16:19take your house!
16:20You mean your house!
16:22I give it back!
16:24Just please come home
16:25and fix everything!
16:27I don't know.
16:28I kinda like it here.
16:30Please!
16:31I'm begging you!
16:32Please!
16:36I'll take that as a yes!
16:38You have to do something!
16:44They're gonna level the house!
16:46I'll be right back!
16:48There is a time!
16:53Take her down, boys!
16:57Mugs!
16:57Hurry!
17:01What is it?
17:02A time machine!
17:06I'll go get my suitcase!
17:13Wait!
17:16No green sprinkles on the chocolate.
17:20Yes, green sprinkles on the strawberry.
17:22But both no red sprinkles.
17:24Except on the vanilla,
17:26which should receive exclusively red sprinkles.
17:28That'll be $5.85.
17:33I've only got 16 cents.
17:38Get the rest from your tip jar!
17:43It's on me.
17:48Where do you get all your money?
17:50Don't worry about it.
17:51Then can I borrow 50 bucks?
17:52I need a new pair of mall pants.
18:08My fellow Neanderthals!
18:10I come from the future
18:12to bring you the key
18:13to modern civilization!
18:17But paper!
18:18I've only got nothing!
18:22I've only got nothing!
18:23Blood!
18:26Blood!
18:27Money!
18:31I've only got nothing!
18:35Ahhhhhhhh!
18:40Universalец!
18:45Internalаж!
18:46Unbelievable!
18:47Like...
18:47Yellow japanese!
18:48All sorts!
18:48Cambay!
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