- 2 days ago
Category
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CreativityTranscript
00:00Maybe they have earplugs in a gift shop.
00:31Ooh, mini license plates.
00:34Aha, Daniel, Darwin, Doug, Eduardo.
00:36What the? No Daffy? You have five Darvins and no Daffy? Darvin?
00:42A thousand and one Grand Canyon jokes.
00:45That's about a thousand more than I thought there were.
00:48I mean, what, did someone just match Darren and Marvin together and think that that's a clever name?
00:54Well, it's not. It's a stupid name. Darvin is the world's stupidest name.
01:00Great name.
01:07And the soda. I left my wallet at home.
01:12It was originally inhabited by Native Americans.
01:15Some of whom may consider the Grand Canyon even to be a holy site.
01:19So, what do you think?
01:22I've seen better.
01:27Let's go see a movie.
01:28Sir, you threw a can of soda into the Grand Canyon. That's littering on federal property.
01:35And who are you?
01:37I'm a park ranger. Who are you?
01:39Oh, uh, Darvin. Andrew's fun.
01:43You're coming with me.
01:45Wait, let's be reasonable.
01:47Buddy, if you don't put some pants on, you're gonna be coming with me too.
01:51I think I saw some in the gift shop.
01:54Let me go and I'll pay you whatever you want.
01:56Ah, I forgot my wallet.
01:58Bugs! Pay him whatever he wants!
02:00Aren't you gonna say something?
02:02Why is the Grand Canyon called the Grand Canyon?
02:05Because he thought Gargantuan Canyon made him sound fat.
02:11Well, if you don't like that one, I got a thousand more.
02:27And that's when I saw him throw this empty can of soda into the Grand Canyon.
02:32It's clear that you are the litterer.
02:36The fine is $50.
02:37This court is now adjourned.
02:39Your Honor!
02:40This is a case built on lies.
02:42Stacked on a house of cards.
02:44Standing on a mountain of fabricated falsehoods.
02:47I move for immediate dismissal.
02:50You can't do that.
02:51Well, then I'd like to call my first witness.
02:57Would you please state your name for the court?
02:59The Perky Pig.
03:01What's the matter?
03:02Are you nervous?
03:04I'm not nervous.
03:06You sure sound nervous.
03:09This is what I always say.
03:11Maybe you're nervous because you're lying.
03:13But I'm not.
03:15Maybe you're lying because you don't want us to know your true identity.
03:19And the reason you don't want us to know your true identity
03:24is because you, sir, are the litterer!
03:28And a collective gasp fills the courtroom.
03:39Are we done here?
03:42Are you not wearing pants?
03:43Please state your name for the court.
03:54Bugs Bunny.
03:55Mr. Bunny, where were you on the night of November 10th?
03:59I'm not sure.
04:01But didn't this happen in the daytime on June 5th?
04:04Aha!
04:05And how would you know that if you were not guilty of this heinous crime?
04:07Ladies and gentlemen, here is your litterer.
04:10Deffy.
04:11Just paid the fine.
04:12Hostile witness!
04:14Oh, you called this hostile?
04:17This is not hostile.
04:18If you want hostile, I'll give you hostile.
04:22Objection!
04:23Overruled!
04:24That's what I say!
04:25What?
04:26Overruled!
04:26Custained!
04:27Keep this up, and I'll hold you both in contempt of court.
04:30I apologize for my friend, your highness.
04:33Now, if I may, what do we know?
04:37The piece of litter in question?
04:39A can of soda.
04:41So, it would fit that the litterer must like soda.
04:45It may surprise the court to learn that I, Daffy Duck, despise soda.
04:53Is anyone even listening here?
04:58The point is, I can't possibly be the litterer, because I don't like soda.
05:04And if the soda gets spit, you must acquit!
05:15Order!
05:21You are both held in contempt, and will be placed in jail immediately.
05:25Bailiff, take them away!
05:35What did I miss?
05:45Name?
05:47Daffy Duck?
05:48Crime?
05:49Contempt of court?
05:51Name?
05:52Bugs Bunny?
05:53Crime?
05:54Well, some might say being too good-looking.
06:00Nah, I'm just kidding.
06:01Contempt of court.
06:09Oh, no.
06:10I'm gonna be swimming in this.
06:12Do you have a belt or a sash?
06:13I'm about to meet a ton of new people.
06:16And I'd rather not look like a big, fat traffic cone.
06:21See what I mean?
06:22That's a lot of orange.
06:31Not too shabby.
06:33I mean, I could use some accessories.
06:35Maybe a few pillows.
06:36Or some scented candles.
06:38I'm thinking this might be a problem.
06:43A little salty, but I gotta say, it's a pleasure having somebody cook for me.
07:00How can you be so relaxed?
07:01We're in prison.
07:03Jail!
07:03The big house!
07:04We're up the river!
07:05We're down the creek!
07:06We're two bricks short of a load!
07:07There's no I in team!
07:09You gotta fight for your right to party!
07:14Party's over.
07:15What are you scared of?
07:16This guy?
07:17I bet he's a teddy bear.
07:18I'm Bugs.
07:22This is Daffy.
07:23We're in cell 2R.
07:24Come by any time.
07:25The door's always open.
07:26Well, not technically, but you get the point.
07:28Anywho, would you be a dear and please pass me the ketchup?
07:35Are you serving time for being rude or because you can't follow directions?
07:38Uh, so let me get this straight.
07:46I can insult whomever I please without fear of bodily harm?
07:50I should have gotten thrown in jail years ago.
07:53It's a smart aleck's paradise.
07:56Say, I like your hair.
07:58Did you butcher it yourself?
07:59Nah, I'll butcher it.
08:00I don't know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt.
08:03Oh, I'm gonna get you.
08:04Hey, buddy, can I borrow your brain?
08:06You're obviously not using it.
08:08You gotta get me out of here.
08:11I'm not cut out for this place.
08:13Look at me.
08:13I can't eat.
08:14I can't sleep.
08:14I don't know what it's like being cut off from the outside world.
08:17What year is it?
08:17Who's president?
08:19You've only been in here one day.
08:21Well, it's been a very hard day.
08:23Did you know they have a yard here where you can exercise for free?
08:28Well, before I go, I made you a cake.
08:32A cake, huh?
08:38Nothing, no co-bar, no shiv.
08:47Who brings a cake to a prisoner without putting a means of escape inside?
08:51How do you expect us to break out of this place?
08:54Oh, where are we going now?
09:06Phew.
09:07Excuse me.
09:09What's the goal here?
09:11Are we building something or just making rocks into smaller rocks?
09:14And would it be possible for me to switch places with that pituitary case over there?
09:21I boing easily.
09:23You'll have to pardon my friend.
09:25The heat's getting to him.
09:26He's not used to this.
09:27He's not a hardened criminal like you.
09:30I mean, I shouldn't assume that you're a hardened criminal, but in my defense, you do have a neanderthal-shaped head, which I normally equate with stupidity.
09:38Not that you're stupid.
09:39I just mean that you look stupid.
09:40I don't mean that as an insult.
09:42I mean, some people say stupid to mean cool, like that's a stupid car.
09:46You've got a stupid apartment.
09:47I wish I could stop talking.
09:49I'm just very nervous right now.
09:50I tend to ramble when I'm nervous.
09:51You know what the word ramble means?
09:53You're probably too stupid to know.
09:55And here I mean stupid, stupid, not stupid cool.
10:00Yacko!
10:01There's only one thing to do.
10:17Teach that bully a thing or jump!
10:19I had a toy train when I was young, but a wheel fell off and it wouldn't run.
10:40And ooh, I blew my staff.
10:43He sent me to school, but things got weird when the kids made fun of my long red beard.
10:49And ooh, I blew my staff.
10:52The merchant marine kept my temper at bay.
10:56Until a dolphin looked at me the wrong way.
10:58And ooh, I blew my staff.
11:01You better watch it, dolphin.
11:03Oh, man.
11:04So I worked at the library, a peaceful place, but people kept turning their books in late.
11:10And ooh, I blew my staff.
11:12I tried to stay calm, cool as ice.
11:16But somebody says something just not nice.
11:19Deep inside, I just don't feel right.
11:21I'm like a walking stick of lint dynamite.
11:23I'm about to blow, you better go.
11:25You're about to get star on the Blow My Staff show.
11:28Show, show.
11:30Anger management class says count to ten.
11:32But I only get to three, and then, guess what?
11:36I blow my staff.
11:37You didn't get to ten.
11:39Hey, quit rubbing it in.
11:41Sorry, Sam, that's what happened.
11:44It's like you're trying to get me to blow my staff.
11:47Maybe that's the plan.
11:48I'm awarding you.
11:50He's gonna go cabrack.
11:51We're alive?
12:10We're alive!
12:13Who cares about that?
12:15We're free!
12:17It's like I have a clean slate, a fresh start.
12:20And this time, I'm gonna be a little less charitable.
12:24Eh, not so fast, Bob.
12:26We gotta turn ourselves in.
12:28Are you crazy?
12:29That guy with a Neanderthal-shaped head will kill us!
12:32I'm not letting one bad apple ruin prison for me.
12:35I'm going back to jail.
12:36Well, I'm gonna live my life on the lam.
12:39We gotta do something about this.
12:49Follow me!
12:55Step one of life on the lam.
12:59Change your appearance.
13:01And if you're gonna be attached to me, you're going blonde, too.
13:06Stop!
13:07What are you doing?
13:08Oh, dang it!
13:10Are you crazy?
13:13Well, hello.
13:21Be on the lookout for two prison escapees.
13:23A gray rabbit and a black duck.
13:28Not so fast.
13:29I have some business to take care of.
13:32Once we get this chain off, you can turn yourself in all you want.
13:35Oh, I will.
13:37Jail was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
13:39And you're not gonna keep me from it.
13:44Excuse me, officer.
13:46I don't mean to bother you, but my name is Bugs Bunny, and this is Daffy Duck, and we're supposed to be in jail.
13:52You're Bugs Bunny?
13:53The one and only.
13:54And you're Daffy Duck?
13:56I didn't say that.
14:03I don't see the resemblance.
14:04Well, then, how do you explain this chain?
14:07Your personal lives are your business.
14:10Stay out of trouble.
14:11No!
14:12No!
14:13Take me with you!
14:14No!
14:15Take me with you!
14:16Come on!
14:17Let's get out of here.
14:18Where are we going?
14:19Wherever this will take us.
14:20Whoa!
14:21Whoa!
14:22Whoa!
14:23Whoa!
14:24Can I help you?
14:45We'd like a room.
14:46Name?
14:47Bug, we can't give away our real names.
14:50We're on the lam.
14:50Ahem. I'm Count Leopold von Lichtenstein.
14:54And this is Randy.
14:56You don't happen to have any chain cutters or acetylene torches back there, do you?
15:02The motel gift shop may not have had any welding equipment, but the book selection wasn't half bad.
15:08Can you keep it down?
15:10I'm trying to sleep.
15:12Well, I'm trying to read.
15:14And it's not easy with you tossing and turning.
15:16You think I like having to share a bed with you?
15:19At least in prison we weren't chained together.
15:22We had a whole cell to enjoy.
15:24Oh, cell block number five.
15:27Well, you're no picnic either.
15:29You think I enjoy listening to you wax nostalgic about your time in jail?
15:33And by the way, a prison nickname doesn't count if you give it to yourself, dynamite.
15:39You better watch it, duck.
15:42Because the fuse just got lit.
15:45How dare you!
15:56No one, and I mean no one, would do something that rude in prison.
16:01Now, good night, Leopold.
16:03Good night, Randy.
16:04Step two of life on the lam, get a job.
16:21Good afternoon, I'm Leopold.
16:23I'll be your waiter.
16:24And I'm Randy.
16:25I'll be your waiter.
16:26What is the soup of the day?
16:28Uh-oh.
16:37Officer!
16:38Sorry about that, but the soup of the day is a secret.
16:41If you say one word to those cops, I promise to make the rest of your life a living nightmare.
16:50How is that any different than now?
16:52Hey, blondies, some service over here?
16:54Not a word.
16:56Uh, good afternoon, gentlemen.
16:58Uh, what can I get you?
17:00What does this say?
17:02We're on the lamb.
17:03You're on the what?
17:05Lamb.
17:05Oh, lamb.
17:06I love lamb.
17:08Oh, is there a lamb special?
17:11No, we're on the lamb.
17:13What's on the lamb?
17:14Oh, I hope it's mint jelly.
17:15That goes great with lamb.
17:17No, we're on the lamb.
17:19You're on the lamb?
17:20Ha, ha, ha.
17:21No, we're not on the lamb.
17:23Oh, thank goodness.
17:24Rabbit and duck on lamb is way too much meat.
17:27I'm, uh, watching my cholesterol.
17:29Just give us three veggie burgers.
17:34How'd we do?
17:3575 cents in tips.
17:37I've got the wrong personality for customer service.
17:40This isn't enough money for the hotel.
17:42Where are we gonna sleep?
17:43Step three of life on the lamb.
17:46Always have a backup plan.
17:50Nice backup plan.
17:56Look on the bright side.
17:57At least it can't get any worse.
18:05Any out of bold predictions?
18:08One day this country will send a man to the moon.
18:11That's already happened.
18:13Am I a wizard?
18:16If you were a wizard, you'd do something about this chain.
18:21Chain break!
18:25Chain break!
18:27You may not be a wizard, but you sure are entertaining.
18:31Silence!
18:32You're throwing off my wizard concentration.
18:34Chain...
18:35I am a wizard.
18:40That was lightning.
18:41Classic non-wizard thing to say.
18:44Now the only question that remains is,
18:47will I be a good wizard or a bad wizard?
18:51Bad wizard!
18:52Beware, mortals!
18:54For Gaffey Duck the wizard shall rule the world!
18:58Did you say Gaffey Duck?
19:00Gaffey Duck the wizard?
19:02Who wants to know?
19:03The police!
19:04You're going back to jail!
19:06I thought you'd never find us!
19:11Lightning strike!
19:13Lightning strike!
19:14No!
19:26Don't make me leave!
19:28Wait!
19:29No, wait!
19:30But tonight's Meat Loaf Monday!
19:35So long, Chainsaw.
19:37Call me when you get out.
19:39In 140 years.
19:41Take care, manslaughter.
19:42In looking to get that name changed,
19:44I really think it'll make a difference.
19:47And I think I'll miss you most of all,
19:50meander-soul-shaped bad man.
19:58Aw, you can stop crying.
20:01You're free.
20:02But that's why I'm crying!
20:05Cheer up.
20:06With a recidivism rate of 68%,
20:08you'll be back in jail in no time.
20:10What about you, Daffy?
20:12Did you learn your lesson?
20:14You bet!
20:15I'm a changed man!
20:24But you open the glove compartment
20:26and hand me those pants.
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