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00:01Who was the first president of the United States?
00:04Oprah.
00:05George Washington.
00:07What is the capital of Alaska?
00:10New York.
00:11Juneau.
00:12How many sides are on a triangle?
00:14Eight.
00:15No, four.
00:16No, eight.
00:17Three.
00:18Name an ingredient in spaghetti and meatballs.
00:21Oranges.
00:22Meatballs.
00:23You've just won a million dollars.
00:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:28How is it that that dummy won a million dollars and I've never won anything?
00:33Oh, I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
00:35It better be.
00:36Because I don't want to end up a bitter, jealous person.
00:40Say, I should go on a game show.
00:43What game show are you qualified for?
00:46Uh, Wheel of Words?
00:48You don't know how to spell.
00:50Have I prices correct?
00:51How much do you think this pack of gum sells for?
00:55$33,000.
00:56Good luck with that.
00:58Stay tuned for the new game show, Besties.
01:01Where knowing all about your best friend leads to big prizes.
01:06We should go on that.
01:08We've been best friends forever.
01:10We know everything there is to know about each other.
01:12I never thought I would say this, but that's not a bad idea, Daffy Duck.
01:16Why, thank you, Bugs.
01:18Um, I want to say, uh, Balabuena?
01:22I did it!
01:40I got us on tomorrow's episode of Besties!
01:43How'd you manage that?
01:44There are some things you shouldn't know about me.
01:47But you better know everything else.
01:48I'm more concerned with how little you know about me.
01:52I know everything about you.
01:53Hit me with some questions.
01:55Go ahead.
01:56All right.
01:56What's my favorite color?
01:58Pass.
01:59What time do I go to bed at night?
02:01Pass.
02:02Give me something easy.
02:02Fine.
02:03When's my birthday?
02:06January.
02:08February.
02:10September.
02:13December.
02:15July.
02:18July 1st.
02:19July 2nd.
02:20July 3rd.
02:20July 4th.
02:215th.
02:226th.
02:227th.
02:228th.
02:239th.
02:2310th.
02:2327th.
02:24July 27th!
02:25Well, happy extremely belated birthday.
02:32Or, happy extremely early birthday.
02:37Hey, Speedy.
02:39Hola, bugs.
02:40You said you took care of the rat problem.
02:43I'm not a rat.
02:44I'm a mouse.
02:48You don't know anything about me.
02:50I bet if you look self-absorbed up in the dictionary, you'd find your picture.
02:56My picture's in the dictionary?
02:57Is it a good one?
02:59What am I wearing?
03:00Does my beak look big?
03:02Aha!
03:03Gotcha!
03:06This is hopeless.
03:09Don't get mad at me.
03:10Those questions were impossible.
03:12I bet you don't know when my birthday is.
03:14Your birthday is April 17th.
03:16Your favorite color is dusty rose.
03:18And you go to bed every night at 10 o'clock, except on New Year's Eve, when you go to bed
03:22at 8.30.
03:23Because, and I quote, New Year's is a holiday invented by the media.
03:28It is!
03:29Forget it.
03:30Find a different best friend to go on that show.
03:32But I need you.
03:34I prize prizes above all else.
03:37This is my shot at finally winning something.
03:39I'll do anything!
03:41Even if it means focusing on someone other than yourself for more than two minutes?
03:45That sounds awful.
03:47But I'll do it.
03:48Well, Daffy, you know how I hate to talk about myself.
03:53But, uh, leave us turn back the clock.
03:56It was on the east side of New York, where me parents resided amidst humble surroundings.
04:06Did I say New York?
04:08I meant the planet Krypton.
04:13Anywho, my parents knew that our planet was doomed.
04:16So my father, Jor-El, built a spaceship.
04:30His dense, molecular structure will make him strong.
04:35He'll be fast.
04:36Virtually invulnerable.
04:38And he'll say, what's up, Doc, indiscriminately, whether he's speaking to a doctor or not.
04:47You will travel far, my little bugs.
04:50But we will never leave you.
05:03You're from the planet Krypton?
05:06No, you maroon.
05:07That's the story of Superman.
05:09Who is Superman?
05:11I can't believe I hitched my wagon to you.
05:14You have a wagon?
05:15Daffy, concentrate.
05:19On me!
05:21Oh, sorry, Superman.
05:23Ugh.
05:23This is going to be a long night.
05:32And now, here's your host, with the most, Chuck Burroughs.
05:38Hey, thanks, everybody.
05:40Let's meet our contestants.
05:41First up, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Daff.
05:45What's up, Doc?
05:46It's a pleasure to be here, Chuck.
05:48I'm a big fan.
05:49Tell me, how long have you two known each other?
05:51Seventeen years.
05:52Five years?
05:54Looks like you two better get on the same page.
05:57And now, let's meet your challengers.
06:00Hello.
06:00Hello.
06:01Oh, I'm sorry, after you.
06:02Oh, no, after you?
06:03No, after you, I insist.
06:04I insist more.
06:05I have an idea.
06:07Oh, you always have good ideas.
06:09I can hardly wait to hear.
06:10Well, you won't have to wait.
06:11I'm about to tell you.
06:12Oh, goody.
06:13My idea is that we both speak simultaneously.
06:16Wonderful idea.
06:17Hello.
06:18Bugs and Daffy, looks like you've got some stiff competition.
06:24Okay, here's the first question.
06:26What is your roommate's favorite vegetable?
06:29Your favorite vegetable.
06:32Hmm.
06:34I'm going to go with beef, Chuck.
06:37Uh-oh.
06:38The correct answer was carrots.
06:40You know what that means.
06:42Challengers?
06:47Your favorite vegetable.
06:49Well, I know he loves cauliflower.
06:51Guilty.
06:52I do love cauliflower.
06:53But he has been known to ask for seconds when I make sweet potatoes.
06:57You really must try his sweet potatoes.
06:59They are divine.
07:00But if I had to pick his favorite vegetable,
07:02I would have to say pureed butternut squash
07:04in a balsamic reduction with just a hint of clover.
07:08That's correct.
07:09I knew you'd get that right.
07:14Well, I knew that you knew I'd get that right.
07:19Next question.
07:21What is your best friend's middle name?
07:24That's an easy one.
07:26Sheldon.
07:31Armando.
07:32You know what that means.
07:34Bugs and Daffy, you've got some catching up to do.
07:40And you're going to have a chance after the break.
07:46Daffy, your middle name is Sheldon.
07:48That may be true, but Armando sounds cooler.
07:52Well, do you want to sound cool or do you want to win?
07:55I want to win.
07:56Well, then we need a new strategy.
08:00In the next round, whatever you're about to say, say the opposite.
08:04That's a great idea.
08:05I mean, that's a horrible idea.
08:10Hello, competitors.
08:12Hello.
08:12We wanted to wish you luck.
08:14Thanks.
08:15Don't you want to wish us luck?
08:16Not particularly.
08:18I'll wish you luck.
08:19Why, thank you.
08:20And good luck to you as well.
08:25Welcome back to Besties, the show about best friends.
08:30Remember, say the opposite.
08:33Tell me, who does your best friend most admire?
08:38I want to say me, but I guess I'll go with Groucho Morix.
08:43That's correct.
08:46I was going to say, take your daughter to work day, but instead I'll say...
08:52Thanksgiving?
08:54Correct.
08:57Everything in me is saying Rockabilly, but I'll go with Smooth Jazz.
09:02Correct.
09:07My gut says Chocolate Milk, but I'm going to go with Australia.
09:14Correct.
09:16This final question is worth 300 points.
09:21What is your best friend's catchphrase?
09:25If friends were flowers, I'd pick you.
09:29No, no.
09:30It's laugh and the world laughs with you.
09:33Uh-oh.
09:34You know what that means.
09:38Oh, feathers.
09:39Oh, what fun.
09:41It's like a pillow fight.
09:46Bugs and Daffy, now you have a chance to win.
09:50Daffy, what is Bugs Bunny's catchphrase?
09:53Hmm.
09:53Think.
09:54Catchphrase.
09:55Really?
09:56I say it all the time.
09:58I know this.
09:59I know this.
10:00It's sort of my go-to phrase.
10:02It's right on the tip of my tongue.
10:04It's in the form of a question.
10:06I say it with a lot of sarcasm.
10:09Um, I don't do Mondays.
10:15Oh, I'm sorry.
10:17We were looking for...
10:18What's up, Doc?
10:21And...
10:22Say it with me.
10:23You know what that means!
10:30That means...
10:32You're our winners!
10:33Gene!
10:34Tell them what they won!
10:35A fabulous cruise!
10:40Cruise?
10:40How exciting!
10:42We've always wanted to go on a cruise!
10:46That's your catchphrase?
10:47What's up, Doc?
10:48What does that even mean?
10:50We don't even know any doctors.
10:51Ow!
10:51Oh!
10:53Who's doing that?
10:55Ow!
10:55Oh!
10:56Oh!
10:57Ah!
10:57Oh!
10:58Oh!
10:58Oh!
10:59Ah!
10:59Ah!
11:03Ah!
11:11I work so very hard all day long.
11:16I start to dream of you before I get home.
11:20Well, gee.
11:21I hope you're ready, cause we got a date.
11:27I just can't wait to get home and put you on my plate.
11:33Grilled cheese sandwich.
11:36The butter will start melting when I wipe the flame, cause the butter and the cheese are gonna play a little game.
11:47It's called melting, it's called melting, it's called melting, it's called melting, on the bread.
11:53Don't need a burger, don't need no shake, I'll laugh in your face if you offer me cake.
11:58Don't waste my time with your brussel sprouts, if you make me a steak, I'll just throw it out.
12:03I wanna grill cheese, not a BLT.
12:06Grilled cheese, are you following me?
12:08Grilled cheese, I'll love you more than any other.
12:11I think I'm gonna make another grilled, grilled, grilled, grilled cheese, if you please.
12:19What's up doc?
12:32Terrible.
12:33Just the world's worst catchphrase, and I don't remember you ever saying it.
12:37Say it.
12:38What's up doc?
12:40Nope, doesn't ring a bell.
12:42But it sure cost us the game.
12:45What cost us the game, was going on a game show about best friends when it's obvious that we're not.
12:52You're saying I'm not your best friend?
12:54Why?
12:55Because I don't know anything about you?
12:57Because I never ask any questions, or show any interest in you?
13:00Because I take you for granted?
13:02Because if it is, that's awfully petty of you.
13:07My best friend would probably know that I like carrots.
13:10He would most likely know my birthday, and he would definitely know my last name.
13:15And for the record, I would have loved to have won a cruise.
13:21And that is what's up, doc.
13:24That still doesn't sound right.
13:39Well, if he's not going to open the door for me, I guess I'll just let myself out.
13:43Oh, so I guess I also have to make my own breakfast?
13:55I guess I have to peel my own banana, too.
14:02Hey, that's my banana.
14:04All right!
14:05For the last time, man, I'm a mouse.
14:07Bugs!
14:08Help!
14:08Why should he help you?
14:10You didn't help him on that game show last night.
14:12You know, you think you show Senor Bunny a little more respect, considering he lets you live here.
14:16I don't live here.
14:17I'm just crashing here until I get back on my feet.
14:20FYI, when you crash somewhere for five years, you live there, all right?
14:24You're not a best friend.
14:25You're a terrible friend.
14:27Why am I a terrible friend?
14:28Let me answer that question with a question.
14:30How many friends do you have besides Senor Bunny?
14:36Well, uh, let's see.
14:37You.
14:38I'm not your friend.
14:39Okay, then.
14:40There's that guy that comes over once a week and we hang out by the pool.
14:43I think his name is Fang or Trang.
14:46Are you talking about the guy who comes to clean the pool?
14:48Daniel?
14:49You're kidding yourself, man.
14:51Senor Bunny is your only friend.
14:53If you're not careful, soon you'll have no friends.
14:55Who needs friends?
14:56I'll tell you who.
14:57Someone with no girlfriend, no job, no credit, no hobbies, no social skills.
15:03Wait, I think I know someone like that.
15:05Daniel?
15:06No, idiot.
15:07You.
15:09Do nothing without Senor Bunny.
15:11Then what do I do?
15:12You gotta try harder to be his friend.
15:15Like how much harder?
15:16Two percent?
15:17More.
15:18Five percent?
15:19More.
15:19Seven percent?
15:21Are you out of your mind?
15:23One hundred percent.
15:24What?
15:25No one can give a hundred percent.
15:27It's physically impossible.
15:30You gotta dig deep.
15:31You gotta go to the place inside you where you've never been.
15:34My soul.
15:36You need to have a soul in order to go there.
15:38No, no, no.
15:39I'm talking about in here.
15:41Now try.
15:45That's good enough, right?
15:47No.
15:48Look at me.
15:49You can do this.
15:50Now try.
15:51I'm dying.
15:52I'm dying!
15:53No!
15:53You're trying!
15:53You're trying!
15:55It hurts!
15:58Hunter!
15:59I'm dying!
16:02No! You're trying!
16:11I'm going to be the best, best friend that any best friend has ever had!
16:23Uh-oh.
16:25You can open your eyes now, best friend!
16:28Huh?
16:29Guess what? I got you the cruise you wanted!
16:32The one from the game show?
16:34Surprise?
16:35Well, you shouldn't be.
16:36It's just what one best friend would do for another best friend.
16:49Who knew cruising could be so much fun?
16:51I cannot remember the last time I had this much fun!
16:54Tell me, do you think it's possible to have too much fun?
16:57Hmm, interesting question.
16:59I guess there's only one way to find out.
17:01Oh, and what might that be?
17:02Keep having fun!
17:04Game's over. You've been hogging the court long enough.
17:07Oh, hello! Fancy meeting you here!
17:10Moving along, gophers! It's my best friend's turn!
17:13Hey, Bugsy old pal! A shuffleboard court opened up!
17:18Daffy, I'm reading. I don't want to play shuffleboard.
17:21Yeah, me neither.
17:22Hmm, there's only one thing to do about that.
17:27Limbo contest on the leader deck?
17:29Ha ha ha ha!
17:39What's up, Doc?
17:43Oh, is that just your thing? I don't want to step on any toes!
17:46Smooth jazz. I know it's your favorite. Do you mind?
18:02You done with that page? Just let me know when you're done.
18:05I'll flip it when you're done.
18:08Done yet? Done yet? Done yet?
18:11Done yet?
18:12Ah!
18:15I'll save your place!
18:20Woohoo!
18:24Carrot?
18:26I know they're your favorite!
18:27Happy 189 days until your birthday!
18:37I just saw my life flash before my eyes!
18:42Ooh, tell me all about it. This time I promise I'll listen.
18:46Daffy, you gotta back off.
18:48Sure thing.
18:49This good? More.
18:51This good? More.
18:52This good?
18:53Ahhh!
18:56Yeah, that's good.
19:04Is everyone enjoying the cruise?
19:06Oh, indeed. It's our first one.
19:08And I must say, I'm a fan of cruising.
19:11Oh, yes. We're cruisers now.
19:16Excuse me! Excuse me! Pardon me! Excuse me!
19:18Coming through!
19:19I wasn't sure what you wanted, so I brought you everything.
19:24Ha ha ha!
19:26Get your own buffet! This one's for my best friend.
19:30Daffy, you're embarrassing me.
19:36I'd like to propose a toast to the most important person on this ship.
19:42Sit down, you glorified bus driver.
19:45Ahem! Ahem!
19:47A rat once told me that friendship takes a lot of effort.
19:52But I'm not interested in friendship.
19:55I'm interested in best friendship.
19:58And best friendship takes a whole lot more.
20:03It means waiting on your best friend, hand and foot.
20:07Buying their affection.
20:09Robotically memorizing every trivial little fact about them.
20:12It means supporting them above all others.
20:15Possibly to the detriment of those others.
20:17Especially to the detriment of those others.
20:19Best friends have all of the same interests.
20:22Whether those interests are interesting or not.
20:24A best friend is someone you'd happily commit a crime for.
20:27Any crime.
20:29No matter how heinous.
20:31The heinouser, the betterer.
20:33Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
20:34That's not a best friend.
20:36That's a stalker.
20:37Daffy, I know I said you weren't my best friend.
20:41But after these past few days, seeing all the effort you've put in, seeing how hard you've tried, I have to say, you gotta stop trying!
20:50What? It's not your thing.
20:51Would it be nice if you remembered the occasional birthday? Or food I'm highly allergic to? Sure. But not if it means we turn into those guys. No offense.
21:02None taken!
21:04Daffy, you're a mean-spirited, self-absorbed, disturbed little weirdo. But for whatever reason, you're my best friend.
21:15You're my best friend too, Bug Balabuania!
21:20Meh. Good enough.
21:21Seriously, how did you pay for all this?
21:33I used your credit card.
21:34I memorized the number.
21:36Hey! I do know something about you!
21:40They should've asked me that on the game show!
21:42It's nine-four-eight-one-six-four-zero-zero-two-eight...
21:47Ahhhh!
21:49I burned the screen!
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