- 22 minutes ago
Category
🦄
CreativityTranscript
00:00Hut one, hut two, hike, go long, come on, get open, interception, touchdown, we did it, yeah, pathetic, playing all by yourself, get some friends, kid,
00:27I'm all in, fold, I'm never playing with you again, check it out, I stole them from the movie theater, 3D glasses, ooh, from now on, I'll take my entertainment exclusively in three dimensions,
00:54Daffy, those only work at the movie theater, whoa, he's so close, back off, newsman, it's not in 3D, whoa, it's like I can touch you, please don't,
01:11what's up neighbor, whoa, ugh, back to 2D, what a bummer, can I talk to you for a second,
01:31it's my son Gossamer, he's having some trouble fitting in his school, all the kids pick on him and call him a monster,
01:37Duh, he is a monster, I'll try to help him, but he's at that age where he doesn't want to listen to his mama,
01:44the other day he called me a witch, you are a witch, do you need to be doing that right now,
01:58protein shake, that's how I maintain this body,
02:07anyway, Gossamer needs help making friends, now I think he could benefit from a positive male role model,
02:13could you take him to school tomorrow and maybe talk to him,
02:17you want bugs to talk to him, he doesn't know the first thing about making friends,
02:21he was born with friends, he's got too many friends, the only person who can help a weirdo like Gossamer is another weirdo,
02:38that's a great idea, you can take him to school tomorrow,
02:42what, no, find another weirdo, no one helped me out when I was a kid, so I'm not helping him out,
02:48you know, I'm not always a nice witch,
02:53I'm only taking you to school because I'm afraid of your mom,
03:02don't open that,
03:05sorry,
03:07you're a real weird dude,
03:09sorry,
03:10why are you always apologizing,
03:13sorry,
03:14listen kid, school is like prison,
03:16and I should know, I've been to both,
03:18you do your time and you get out,
03:20and if you're lucky,
03:21you'll grow up to be as mature and well adjusted as me,
03:24just get out of here,
03:32this mom's taking forever,
03:34I mean,
03:35how many kids do you have to have before you feel like you've got a family,
03:40it's irresponsible,
03:41will you pick me up after school,
03:43pick you up,
03:45what do you think,
03:46I just sit around all day watching TV,
03:49you don't think I have a job,
03:51or other responsibilities,
03:53my mom says you're a bum,
03:54and that you mooch off of Mr. Bunny,
03:56well your mom's stupid,
03:57don't tell her I said that,
04:00hey gossamer,
04:14see you later pal,
04:17hi Kyle,
04:24hi Jason,
04:25hi Emily,
04:27what's up Trevor,
04:28hi Maya,
04:30hey Andrew,
04:35why didn't you defend yourself,
04:44my mom says violence is never the answer,
04:47well your mom is wrong,
04:49it's almost always the answer,
04:50don't tell her I said that,
04:52and anyway,
04:53I don't know how to defend myself,
04:55then it's time to go to school,
04:57not that school,
05:00the school of hard knocks,
05:03where's Daffy,
05:13he's helping our neighbors kid,
05:14try it,
05:16we already got our pizza,
05:18no,
05:19try this one,
05:21well,
05:25I like it,
05:27this one's frozen,
05:29but they're pretty impressive,
05:31pretty impressive,
05:32it's very impressive,
05:34let me tell you something Pinky,
05:35it's Porky,
05:36I'd like to see you make a restaurant quality frozen pizza,
05:39you couldn't,
05:40you know why,
05:41because it's next to impossible,
05:43but I did it,
05:45and now I'm going to sell Speedy Gonzales's frozen pizzas in grocery stores all across the country,
05:50what are they doing,
05:54I'm filming the commercial later today,
05:56hey,
05:58you should be in it,
05:59nah,
06:00come on,
06:01you can play the customer,
06:03I,
06:03I,
06:03I don't,
06:04I can play either of the customer,
06:06Pinky,
06:07please,
06:07I'm talking to Senor Bugs,
06:09what do you say,
06:10will you be in my frozen pizza commercial,
06:12I'd love to do it,
06:14yeah,
06:14just let Porky do it,
06:16can I at least use your slogan,
06:17what slogan,
06:18I like it,
06:19when did I say that,
06:21when you try the pizza,
06:22it's the perfect slogan,
06:23not too much,
06:25not too little,
06:25I don't love it,
06:27I like it,
06:27it's pizza man,
06:29it's not a new car,
06:30whatever,
06:31relax Pinky,
06:34okay,
06:35it's a commercial,
06:36not a movie,
06:36but go see the makeup girl,
06:38you're just so pink,
06:40I guess that's where he gets his name,
06:43this is the school I graduated from,
06:49I'm kind of a legend around here,
06:56what's up man,
06:57I don't know you,
06:59self-defense,
07:03it's about knowing your strength,
07:05and your opponent's weaknesses,
07:07it's about stamina,
07:10discipline,
07:11and never,
07:13letting your guard down,
07:17shouldn't we be wearing boxing gloves,
07:24does anybody wear boxing gloves,
07:26in a street fight,
07:27also there's a five dollar glove rental fee,
07:29now let's get it on,
07:31I don't want to fight,
07:34too late,
07:35you're in a fight,
07:36and you're already losing,
07:37you know why,
07:38you're off balance,
07:40and when you're off balance,
07:41you're open to,
07:42one of these,
07:43lucky shot,
07:48I didn't do anything,
07:49how's this gonna help me make friends,
07:52I see what you're doing,
07:53mind games,
07:54well mind games are no match,
07:57for one of these,
07:58all right,
08:06let's take a break,
08:07I'm sure this is a lot of information,
08:10for you to absorb,
08:11I'm going to the vending machine,
08:14I'll bring you back,
08:15what are these,
08:17well we've learned two things here today,
08:21you refuse to defend yourself,
08:24and I need to double up on my protein shakes,
08:26I'm never going to get any friends,
08:28now is that kick me sign still on your back,
08:32give me that,
08:37school talent show,
08:41huh,
08:42what is it,
08:43I think I just figured out a way,
08:45for you to make some friends,
08:47a way for you to impress everyone,
08:50and instantly become popular,
08:51in a single dramatic moment,
08:54you mean enter the talent show,
08:56oh,
08:56I was going to say,
08:57watch the talent show,
08:59wearing a really cool jacket,
09:00but,
09:01entering the talent show,
09:03that's a great idea,
09:05wow,
09:05you're lucky I thought of it,
09:07do you have any talents,
09:08I could see,
09:09ugh,
09:10no way,
09:10singing is lame,
09:11come on,
09:12we can come up with something better than that,
09:14oh wait,
09:16I forgot something,
09:17to give you one of these,
09:19ah,
09:21do you want restaurant quality pizza,
09:25in the comfort of your own home,
09:26hello,
09:27I'm Speedy Gonzales,
09:28of Speedy Gonzales's Pizza Riva,
09:30telling you,
09:31that you can now enjoy my pizza,
09:33in a frozen variety,
09:35but don't take my word for it,
09:36he's a real life customer,
09:38ahem,
09:39what do you think sir,
09:40I like it,
09:42cut,
09:44Pinky,
09:45you're overselling it,
09:46I told you you could be in the commercial,
09:48but you gotta pull back,
09:49you gotta play real,
09:50let's take it again,
09:53what do you think sir,
09:54I like it,
09:56no,
09:56it's not working,
09:57senor Bugs,
09:58let me use you say it again,
09:59I like it,
10:00that's it,
10:01perfect,
10:02sorry Pinky,
10:02there's just something about him,
10:04I like ability factor,
10:05I mean,
10:05this guy's okay,
10:07but I wanna party with this guy,
10:11let's take it again,
10:13hey Pinky,
10:16I'm sorry,
10:17scooch to your left a little bit,
10:19little more,
10:20little more,
10:22little more,
10:24little more,
10:25little more,
10:27little more,
10:28little more,
10:30how's this,
10:33perfecto,
10:34talent,
10:38it can't be taught,
10:40it can't be bought,
10:41it can't be faked,
10:43it just is,
10:44you dig,
10:45do I dig what,
10:46two, three, four,
10:47no,
10:52no,
10:52no,
10:53back to one,
10:55where's one,
10:56two,
10:56three,
10:56four,
10:56stop,
11:01stop,
11:02stop,
11:02you're doing it wrong,
11:07it's a simple kickball change,
11:09a shimmy to the right,
11:11a shimmy to the left,
11:12pivot step,
11:13and head roll,
11:14was that so difficult,
11:17I was thinking,
11:18maybe I could sing,
11:19at the talent show,
11:21are you out of your mind,
11:23that is so lame,
11:25I mean do you know how girly,
11:26and pathetic you'd look,
11:27if you sang,
11:28no,
11:29no,
11:29no,
11:29if you want friends,
11:31you need to dance,
11:33I'm not a dancer,
11:35well,
11:35you just keep telling yourself that,
11:38this is just so frustrating,
11:40there is a dancer inside of you,
11:43shame on you for not seeing it,
11:45and shame on me,
11:47for being the only one who does,
11:49I need to cool off,
11:51I'm gonna take five,
11:53but not before I give you one of these,
11:58will you go make me a protein shake,
12:00I'm Speedy Gonzales,
12:04of Speedy Gonzales's Pizza River,
12:06telling you,
12:07that you can now enjoy my pizza,
12:09in a frozen variety,
12:10I like it,
12:12and you will too,
12:14Speedy Gonzales's frozen pizza,
12:16in your gross freezer,
12:18huh,
12:18how much,
12:19oh it's on the house,
12:21you're famous,
12:26honey look,
12:28I like it guy,
12:29I like it guy,
12:39say it,
12:40I like it,
12:42yeah,
12:43I like it,
12:45you probably get this all the time,
12:50but will you say it,
12:51I'm kind of in a hurry,
12:52please,
12:53just one time,
12:55I like it,
12:56do you mind,
12:57will you say it for my outgoing message,
12:59I like it,
13:00oh,
13:00wasn't recording,
13:01one more time,
13:03I like it,
13:04I like it,
13:05I'm not sure,
13:07I like it,
13:08say it,
13:10yeah,
13:13you,
13:13I like it guy,
13:15say it,
13:16I like it,
13:17classic,
13:18this whole time,
13:21this whole time,
13:22we've been focusing,
13:23on the talent part,
13:24of the talent show,
13:26but what about the show part,
13:27you don't want me to juggle chainsaws,
13:31do you,
13:32no,
13:33that would be ludicrous,
13:34I want you to juggle chainsaws,
13:38that have been lit on fire,
13:39can't I just sing at the talent show,
13:44no,
13:44you can't sing,
13:46that would be a death sentence,
13:47run for our lives,
13:51you saved my life,
13:58I'd like to repay you,
14:00what do you want to eat,
14:01it's like those protein shakes,
14:05are making me weaker,
14:06my house,
14:12hey,
14:15hey,
14:16I like it guy,
14:17you live here,
14:18say it,
14:21my house is burning down,
14:22that's not the line,
14:24turn on the water,
14:26no,
14:27you remember,
14:28the little mouse goes,
14:29what do you think sir,
14:31and you say,
14:33I like it,
14:35woohoo,
14:36yeah,
14:37hey,
14:40when you're done,
14:41can we get a picture,
14:41well,
14:47this is it,
14:48good luck,
14:50this is the bus station,
14:53what about the talent show,
14:55you can't go to the talent show,
14:57you don't have a talent,
14:59here,
15:00take this,
15:01what's this,
15:03everything you need,
15:03to start a new life,
15:04fake passport,
15:05fake money,
15:06and my fake number,
15:07in case of emergency,
15:09Fernando Valenzuela,
15:11the baseball player,
15:13the beloved baseball player,
15:15get ready to have tons of friends,
15:17please,
15:18just take me to the talent show,
15:20your funeral,
15:22Fernando,
15:23hey,
15:41you're that guy,
15:42say it,
15:43shh,
15:44there's a kid on stage,
15:46I know,
15:46it's my kid,
15:47come on,
15:48say it,
15:49no,
15:50just say it,
15:51I'm not gonna say it,
15:53as a matter of fact,
15:54I'm never gonna say it,
15:55again,
15:56ever,
15:57typical Hollywood jerk,
15:59oh good,
16:06you haven't gone on,
16:07I took this from the science lab,
16:09I think they're scorpions,
16:10I'm not sure what you should do with them,
16:12maybe eat them,
16:13let them run around on your face,
16:14something like that,
16:16and now,
16:17our next contestant,
16:18wish me luck,
16:19wait,
16:19you forgot the scorpions,
16:21I don't need them,
16:22that's my baby,
16:28what is he doing,
16:33my name is Gossamer,
16:40and I'm gonna sing,
16:41the leaves of brown came tumbling down,
16:49remember,
16:50in September,
16:54in the rain,
16:56the sun went out just like a dying ember,
17:04that September,
17:07in the rain,
17:11to every word of love,
17:14I heard you whisper,
17:16the raindrops seem to play a sweet refrain,
17:24the spring is here,
17:26to me it's still September,
17:30that's September,
17:34in the rain,
17:37yeah,
17:37I like it,
17:47I like it,
17:47I like it,
17:49I like it,
17:54I can't thank you enough for helping my boy
18:08Yes you can, you're a witch
18:10You can do anything
18:11Come on, wave your wand
18:13Make me strong
18:14I want to be strong
18:15Super strong
18:17With wings
18:18And give me 3D vision
18:19Stay away from my son
18:22What's with the glass box full of sand?
18:25It's a scorpion tank
18:26Where are the scorpions?
18:31Something bit me!
18:43Beep beep
18:43Ave Marie
18:49So is this why you didn't want me to sing at the talent show?
19:05It's just as painful in 3D
19:08Yeahéééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééééé
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