00:00Height?
00:01Three foot six.
00:02We'll put six foot three.
00:04Weight?
00:05I don't know.
00:06It fluctuates.
00:0980?
00:11A hundred?
00:12You're six foot three.
00:13We'll put 185.
00:14Are you sure about this?
00:16Trust me, I'm an expert at online dating.
00:18But what's gonna happen when I finally meet one of these women?
00:21Won't they be disappointed?
00:22Any woman that goes out with Porky Pig is gonna be disappointed no matter what.
00:27Which brings us to your name.
00:28We can keep Pig or Porky.
00:31But we can't keep both.
00:33Keep Porky.
00:36Keep Pig?
00:37You know what?
00:38Let's dump them both.
00:39Your name's Lorenzo Villaguerairofa.
00:42There, you're done.
00:43What about my picture?
00:47But you can hardly see me.
00:50Precisely, Lorenzo.
01:08It's been over an hour and no one's clicked on my profile.
01:11I knew we shouldn't have encoded a picture.
01:14What's up, Doc?
01:15Daffy set me up on a dating website.
01:20Do you ever think to come to me for this kind of thing?
01:23It doesn't matter anyway.
01:25No one's interested.
01:27Uh, Porky, I think someone's interested.
01:30Hello.
01:31I like your profile.
01:33Wow.
01:34Thanks for your...
01:36What are you doing?
01:37Don't write her back until you know what she looks like.
01:42Granny?
01:43Granny's on a dating website?
01:45That is so sad.
01:47I'm on a dating website.
01:49She must be lonely.
01:50I'm lonely.
01:51Yeah, but she lives in a big house all by herself.
01:55I live in a big house all by myself.
01:58At least she has pets.
02:00Huh.
02:01Maybe I should get a pet.
02:02What?
02:03Pets are for people who have no hope of finding another adult who will love them.
02:07Huh.
02:07Now that I put it that way,
02:08you should definitely get a pet.
02:21My computer and Lorenzo seem like such a nice man.
02:27I can't just spend all my time with a cat and a bird.
02:32Oh, Sylvester, stop chasing Twinkie Bird.
02:36If you need something to do,
02:38why don't you play with one of those cat toys I bought you?
02:44Look, Sylvester, it's a mouse.
02:48You're kidding me, right?
02:49I can see the string.
02:51What about this one?
02:55And this is fun because...
02:57Let's see what else I have here.
03:03A pen?
03:04Ooh, are we going to balance your checkbook?
03:08Fun!
03:17Where did it go?
03:22Now it's over there.
03:24How did it get over there?
03:39It's like a bird, a mouse, and a can of tuna
03:43all mixed up into a perfect red duck.
03:46Aha!
03:47Gotcha.
03:48You're mine.
03:49All mine.
03:51I'm never going to let you go.
03:55What the?
03:57Remind me again why we're doing this?
03:59Because she's a little old lady
04:00with no one to keep her company but a cat and a bird.
04:03So now she's going to hang out with a duck and a rabbit?
04:06Seems like a lateral move.
04:08We're her neighbors.
04:09It's the right thing to do.
04:12Oh, hello.
04:14All right.
04:15Knock off the pleasantries, Grandma.
04:17We know you're lonely, so let's go do something and get it over with.
04:20Hmm.
04:22Spending time with a rabbit and a duck instead of a cat and a bird.
04:26Oh.
04:27Seems like a lateral move.
04:30Huh?
04:31Oh, I mean, I'd love some company.
04:34I was just about to go sailing.
04:37Sailing?
04:38You sail?
04:39Heh heh.
04:40Every weekend.
04:43Sally, this is going to be fun.
04:47Little air back here.
04:57Oh, my.
05:00Oh, my.
05:01Oh, my.
05:11Oh, little red dot, where are you?
05:29Hmm.
05:38Where is that red dot?
05:41Where is that yellow bird?
05:44Take that, you nasty old zombie.
05:50Oh, he got me.
05:52That makes two of us.
05:55Before you read me, will you grant me one last request?
05:59I suppose so.
06:00After all, I'm an animal, not a monster.
06:04Will you hear me, dot?
06:06What?
06:07This pen?
06:09Ha ha.
06:10What are you going to do?
06:11Write out your last will and testament?
06:17Oh, my red dot is back.
06:20Oh, go get it.
06:23Oh, it's over there, pretty cat.
06:31Oops, I was wrong.
06:33It's over there.
06:39Oh, much improved.
06:41I don't even want it, but I gotta have it.
06:44I don't even know what it is, but I need it.
06:48Well.
06:48Yoo-hoo.
06:52Huh?
06:53Mother?
06:56Whoa!
07:01What's wrong with me?
07:02I can't do anything but think about that red dot.
07:17Oh, look.
07:18A chili.
07:26I need help.
07:33How fortuitous.
07:35How serendipitous.
07:36How propitious.
07:38Best glass I ever took.
07:49Great day in the morning.
07:51I'm going to be sick and I'm not even on the boat yet.
07:57We're here.
07:59Let's start sailing.
08:01Where's the ocean?
08:03Yard sailing.
08:09We should have just let Porky go out with her.
08:12What about girls?
08:131 2 2 3 3 3 4 4 4 5 5 5 6 1.
08:47I don't know.
09:12Oh
09:17You Sylvester okay right this way, baby
09:24uh
09:27Good luck, you know with uh, whatever you're going through
09:47Hey pinky can I tell you something it's Saturday night
09:54But you're ruining the vibe with your lonely pink face
09:58Sitting alone in a
10:01Who big for six?
10:02Doing Sudoku won't get you chicks
10:06Hey, you're not the most hopeless case in our world
10:10You just got to change your approach to
10:13The girls
10:15They do not care about
10:17Dungeons and dragons bro
10:19They don't want to hear about all these spells you know
10:23If you tell them you will not get them on their phone
10:27So no more spending Friday nights at home
10:30Eating ice cream all alone
10:31Sitting in your easy chair beating yourself at solitaire
10:35I don't care what's on TV
10:37Come here to town with me
10:39It will be the bomb to meet a girl
10:42That's not your mom
10:45You are not allowed to call action with your friends
10:49Get some exercise pull-ups and some evening bends
10:53Go to parties and show girls just how good you look
10:56Do not stay at home reading Harry Potter books
11:00Groove with me
11:02Girls like to laugh and girls like to dance
11:05But most of all girls like guys that wear pants
11:09So let's get some shoes that don't look like your feet
11:13Grow a beard, get it firm and
11:15Stud in the street
11:18If you do this you will no longer be a dud
11:22Underneath that nerd I know that there is a stud
11:26Loosen up and try to go out and have some fun
11:30So you're not the creepy guy at a table for one
11:39Hey Porky, sorry we're late
11:44Or maybe just keep doing what you're doing
12:05Old people are the worst
12:06All they do is sit around, watch TV and eat gross food
12:11Are you eating porridge?
12:13It's easier on my soft teeth
12:18Poor granny
12:19She needs some excitement in her life
12:22Come on Daffy
12:23Ugh, fine
12:25Ugh, my hip
13:01Ugh, my hip
13:22you see your conscious mind is fixated on the red dot now let's see what's going on in your
13:27unconscious mind you're getting very sleepy when i snap my fingers you're gonna be
13:34all hypnotized this will never work i want you to imagine yourself at home you're in your happy place
13:47tell me about your childhood
14:06yes
14:36yes
14:37it out it's not the red dot that you want it's your mama i haven't seen her since she retired
14:43to florida well you need to go see her honey how am i gonna get there child i'm not a
14:49witch for
14:49nothing florida florida florida i have got to start asking for payment up front
15:01ah sunny florida now which one of these condos belongs to my mother who knew living across the
15:12street from a lonely old woman could be so much fun what do you think we should do with granny
15:16today
15:16deep sea fishing or hot yoga i was thinking about some old-fashioned tackle football
15:21oh you two are you ready for another day of fun hmm hmm oh i'm afraid i have other plans
15:32other plans we're your only friends oh well it's time for my nap your nap you go to bed at
15:414 30 in the
15:42afternoon get your jock strap granny we're playing football are you two trying to kill me what listen
15:49i'm a 90 year old woman i shouldn't be in a kayak well what do you want to do and
15:56don't play
15:56failing oh i think i'd like to just lie on a beach somewhere great let's do it look you two
16:04are very
16:05sweet but you're all so exhausting hot yoga
16:21so you do know where i live that's interesting considering you never visit me oh um i close the door
16:32what do you want me to air condition all of florida
16:40sorry oh that's my allen now
16:47sylvester what a surprise how long are you in town as long as mother will have me well i wish
16:54you would
16:55have called because i have bridge at 11 water aerobics at noon and then estelle and i walk them all
17:03eesh and i thought tweety's voice was annoying don't you see baby it's a textbook case of denial
17:10huh you want sylvester to chase you i do i do well then what are you waiting for florida florida
17:20florida
17:24i've done it again isn't that that little yellow bird you used to chase
17:32you still haven't caught him he's smarter than he looks maybe if you'd spent a little less time
17:39chasing that bird you'd have made something of yourself by now huh why aren't you married
17:45where are my grand cats and what's with your teeth they're all mangled you don't wear the
17:52retainer do you listen to her go what i wouldn't give to be back home with granny chasing that red
18:00dot
18:00that retainer cost a pretty penny and all the dentist said was if he wears the retainer he'll have
18:08perfect teeth and did you wear the retainer who needs a red dot when i've got a yellow bird
18:14now if you'll excuse me it's time for me to go home oh this is much better although it feels
18:26like
18:26something's missing oh sylvester granny sweetie
18:37what turns out i like spending my time with the cat and the bird it's better than spending it with
18:46a duck and the rabbit granny's missing out
18:57i don't think you understand you're in my pet i'm supposed to give you food not be your food
19:05uh do you hear me hello batsnake
19:10you
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