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00:00It's Wednesday night. It's Wednesday night. And out you did it go. The Chris Gathard Show. The Chris Gathard Show. Chris Gathard Show. Chris Gathard.
00:30Thank you, everybody. Thanks for coming out to The Chris Gathard Show. Thanks to our studio audience. Thanks to everybody watching at TheChrisGathardShow.com. Thanks to everybody watching on MNN. Very, very psyched to have you here.
00:59You're at The Chris Gathard Show. I am your host, Chris Gathard. I did not name tonight's episode. This started outside of my control. I wanted to have an episode that was all about dating, hooking people up.
01:08It has been named outside of my control, Papa Gath's Cauldron of Love. I want to thank you all. I want to welcome you all for checking out Papa Gath's Cauldron of Love.
01:18As you can see behind me, right here, we have over two dozen people who are currently speed dating. It's all set up. It's going to start now. Let's have our first date begin now.
01:27Two-minute dates. Let's have our speed dater. I'm glad you're watching the show. Thank you for the support, but you're crazy. You're a crazy person.
01:35Caller, welcome to the show. We have another caller on the line.
01:40Hello?
01:41Yes, who's this?
01:43Hi. This is Nate Dern.
01:47Hey, Nate Dern. What's up? How are you?
01:50Good. How are you doing today?
01:51We're pretty good. It's a little bit of a chaotic, loud show. I don't know how it reads on TV or the internet, but we're happy for one.
01:58It's exciting. It's fun.
02:00Good. So, Nate, how can we help you tonight?
02:02I was just calling. I don't know if this is how it works, but I wanted to tell Alyssa that I did mock trial in high school, too.
02:09So you're a fellow mock trial enthusiast?
02:12All four years.
02:14Now, this is our dating show. How was your dating life in high school as a mock trial guy?
02:18It was great. I was the king of the room.
02:22Really? You had a whole bunch of dating opportunities out there?
02:25Yeah. It was a small debate team, so I got to be prosecution and defense, if you know what I mean.
02:31Wow. So you cleaned up.
02:34Now, Nate Dern, I know you outside of this. You're friends with the human fish.
02:37If you were a human lady, you'd want to be the human fish's girlfriend, right?
02:41Oh, yeah, I would.
02:42And if you were a balding white male, you would want to fuck Nicole Byer.
02:46Absolutely.
02:48Yeah. 100%.
02:50Nate, thank you for the call. Anything else you want to talk about tonight?
02:53No. Keep up the great work, guys.
02:55Thank you so much, Nate. Thanks a lot.
02:58All right. Take care.
02:59All right. What should I do? Noah, what should I do?
03:03Keep going? Stretch it out?
03:05All right.
03:06So, uh, 212-757-1393. Call us up, specifically if you want to be the human fish's first ever human girlfriend, specifically if you just want to fuck in.
03:16Get it out with Nicole. And Nicole, you don't fuck around. We've talked about this.
03:20Yep.
03:20You go for broke.
03:21I will get it done.
03:22You get it done.
03:23I will get it done.
03:24Let's tell these men right to camera what they have to look forward to.
03:32I will jump on your dick.
03:34Wow.
03:35Ride you for a little bit.
03:37Spit in your face.
03:38Just kidding.
03:39I won't do that.
03:39You're not, though.
03:40No, I'm not.
03:41I will do all of that.
03:42You'll destroy a guy, right?
03:44Yes.
03:44I just want to get up.
03:46Wow.
03:47And you're good at it, is what you're saying.
03:48I think so.
03:49Yeah, I bet.
03:50I don't just lay there.
03:51No, not at all.
03:52So, 212-757-1393. Call us up.
03:56Human face's first human girlfriend. We're looking for you.
03:59Nicole just, that was one hell of a bitch.
04:01In the meantime, we're going to have to pull. Hold on. Right there. Hold on.
04:05Pause the speed dating.
04:07Speed daters, pause where you are.
04:09Because we have some very special guests joining us tonight.
04:11We want speed dates.
04:11You're going to move on after our guests have just played.
04:14We're going to cut the noise right now.
04:15When our studio audience get up and dance.
04:17Super excited to welcome these guys.
04:19I once appeared on a show on WFMU radio called 7 Second Delay.
04:23These guys did as well.
04:24I was blown away by them.
04:25Was super psyched to email them.
04:26And that they agreed to do our show as well.
04:28Find them on Facebook.
04:29Find them at their website, GenghisBarbie.com.
04:31They got a new album out of Christmas songs right now.
04:33Let's everybody get up, enjoy the stylings.
04:36You are going to be fucking blown away by these guys.
04:38Genghis!
04:41Banana Man!
04:42What did you think of that?
04:44Banana Man, get up here.
04:45Amazing, right?
04:46It's so beautiful.
04:47It's gorgeous.
04:47Beautiful.
04:48Thank you so much.
04:48We've had so many bands on this show in the six months we've been doing it.
04:51I'm going to go ahead and say Genghis Barbie, easily the most punk rock band we've ever had on this show.
04:56So fucking cool, man.
04:58You can't fuck with that, right?
05:00Now, Murph, how are you doing?
05:02You're back there.
05:02You haven't said a word tonight.
05:03I've tried.
05:04The love is just in the air.
05:06I know.
05:06It's thick.
05:07Now, Murph, you are a man about town.
05:09That's fair to say.
05:10That's fair.
05:11Yeah, yeah.
05:11Now, how would you describe the vibe in this room with all these single people tonight?
05:15I love it.
05:16I love it.
05:16I think some people are absolutely going to get laid tonight.
05:18You think people are going to straight up get laid?
05:20I think people are going to get laid tonight.
05:21I'm going to say this.
05:23Speed daters.
05:24Speed daters.
05:25Listen up, because I'm telling you this.
05:26My goal, I want two people who have never met each other making out on camera before the end of the night tonight.
05:31I want that shit to go down, man.
05:34I want it to go down.
05:35That's right, banana man.
05:37All right.
05:38Who do we have on the phones?
05:40Welcome to the show.
05:40How can we help you tonight?
05:43Caller, are you there?
05:46Nobody on the phone?
05:47Do we have anybody?
05:48Hello?
05:49Yes.
05:49Hello.
05:50Who are you?
05:51What do you want?
05:51This is New York comedian Riley Saliner on the line.
05:54Riley, what's up?
05:56Riley, how can we help you tonight?
05:58Hey, I got a question for the human fish to hopefully narrow down the girlfriend for him.
06:03Okay, you're going to let the human fish speak so we can let the ladies know what the human fish is looking for.
06:07What's your battle?
06:09Okay, human fish.
06:11Big wiggly boobies or a big old bouncy butt?
06:16Big old bouncy butt?
06:18I want to just make sure I'm clear on that.
06:19Is that what you said?
06:21Yeah.
06:21Big old wiggly boobies versus a big old bouncy butt?
06:26Human fish, who wins?
06:28Big old bouncy butt?
06:30Butt!
06:35Who knew?
06:36The human fish is a butt fish.
06:39Now, Riley, anything else you want to talk about tonight?
06:43I'm very lonely.
06:44You are.
06:46You are.
06:47You're lonely.
06:47So, Riley, how can I help you out?
06:49Riley, let me...
06:49I don't know.
06:50I thought about coming down to the show, but then I chickened out because I don't like this stuff being too public.
06:57But now I'm talking about it, so I don't know.
07:00Okay.
07:01So, Riley, I think girls like you, man.
07:04I'm going to go on record and say I think girls are fascinated by you.
07:07Yeah, I agree with that.
07:09Look at that.
07:09Bethany says that.
07:10Riley, I think you should jump in the cab and get down here, man, because I think I could hook you up.
07:15I think Papa Geth could edge you right to the culture.
07:19How about this?
07:21Riley, Riley, close your eyes right now.
07:23Riley, yes.
07:24Riley, close your eyes.
07:25Are you right?
07:26Are your eyes closed?
07:27Yeah.
07:28Okay.
07:29Studio audience, who in here would make out with Riley tonight?
07:33Wow.
07:34Wow.
07:35Mostly guys.
07:35I'm a gentleman.
07:36Wow.
07:37I see at least two dudes and four girls who say they will make out with you if you get down here.
07:41Oh, no, no, no.
07:42Riley, not a joke.
07:44A number of women just raised their hand that they would make out with you.
07:48No way.
07:49Riley.
07:50Riley, it happened.
07:51Get down here and prove me wrong, man.
07:53Come on down, come on down, come on down, come on down.
07:58Okay, hey, hey, hey, everybody calm down.
08:01Riley, would you?
08:02Hold on, Riley.
08:03Would you make out with Sashir?
08:05What?
08:06Would you make out with Sashir?
08:07Our friend Sashir that you know.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Calm down.
08:12She'll do it.
08:13Nicole is saying that her friend Sashir will make out with you.
08:16And Riley, I'm going to say this.
08:17Get down here because Sashir is out of your league, man.
08:21And we both know that.
08:23We both know that.
08:25That's not a insult to you.
08:27All right, here's the deal.
08:29What's that?
08:29Here's the deal, guys.
08:30I got a guy saying, no, spot you five on the cab, Riley.
08:33Five, we got $10 on a cab ride, Riley.
08:37What?
08:37I can't understand.
08:38All right, but Riley, we got $15 towards a cab ride.
08:42You don't even have to pay for the cab.
08:44I was going to take the train.
08:47No, the trains are fucked.
08:48Get a cab.
08:49Get down here.
08:49But I'm not going to sit here and beg you, Riley.
08:52Come down here, man.
08:53If you get down here, we'll hook you up.
08:54No joke.
08:55All right, I'll take the cab.
08:56I'll be right there.
09:01All right.
09:04Who else?
09:04Do we have anybody else on the phone?
09:062-1-2-7-5-7-1-3-9-3.
09:08Call in.
09:10Hello.
09:11Speed daters, let's switch it up.
09:12Let's keep it down.
09:13Caller, you're on the air.
09:14Welcome.
09:14How are you?
09:15Hey, Chris.
09:16It's Walter.
09:16How are you?
09:17Walter.
09:17How's it going, man?
09:19Walter.
09:19What's that?
09:21We're playing your call-in song.
09:24Walter is calling.
09:26Walter.
09:27All right, Walter, what's on your mind?
09:29What can we help you with tonight?
09:30Nothing, nothing.
09:31Walter, I just wanted to give a shout-out to my roommate, Vanessa.
09:34She's watching the show here with me.
09:36And I just have to say that you look great in the Target ad, man.
09:40What was that, Walter, the last part?
09:43I just wanted to give a shout-out to Vanessa, my roommate, watching the show with me tonight.
09:47And I just wanted to say that you look great at the ad of Target.
09:51Oh, thank you.
09:52I mean, we're not allowed to bring up, we're not allowed.
09:55Public television rules.
09:56We can't bring that up.
09:57Oh, I'm sorry.
09:57No, Walter, you didn't know, man.
09:59You didn't know.
10:00But, hey, big shout-out to your roommate, Vanessa.
10:02Thank you for the kind words.
10:04Now, Walter, if you didn't get your phone call through, would you still have shouted out
10:08to the person sitting next to you?
10:11What?
10:12You would have still shouted?
10:12What?
10:14You can always give Vanessa a shout-out.
10:16She's in the room.
10:18Hi, guys.
10:20It's so hard to hear you.
10:21I know.
10:21Even worse than usual tonight.
10:23Walter, thank you for the call.
10:24You're one of our favorites.
10:24You're our first-ever fan.
10:26The support means the world.
10:27Thank you for calling in.
10:28I'm going to turn to the human fish right now.
10:33So, human fish, you really are in the market for a human girlfriend.
10:37So, take us through some battles that let us know what you're looking for, like human fish.
10:42Blonde versus brunette versus redhead.
10:45Oh, you can do three.
10:45Oh, you have three.
10:47Yeah.
10:48That's a three battle.
10:49Do you know how that works?
10:50Brunette.
10:55Brunette.
10:56He's brunette.
10:57A lot of the brunettes.
10:59The audience clapping.
11:00Human fish, based on that reaction, I'm going to say this.
11:03I don't know if we need the phone lines because a lot of ladies in our studio audience just
11:06cheered.
11:09Something to think about.
11:10Ladies, get ready to step up if you're feeling the human fish.
11:12Because he's never known the joys of a human woman.
11:16Creators, let's switch.
11:17Last one.
11:18Thank God, man.
11:20Human fish, what else?
11:21What else do you want to let us know about ladies you're looking for through battle form?
11:29But I got a question.
11:31Hold on.
11:32Keep it down.
11:32Keep it down, guys.
11:33Human fish.
11:36Would you, uh, making love on a beach or making love in the ocean?
11:43Wow.
11:43Making love on the beach versus making love in the ocean.
11:47Making love in the ocean.
11:48In the ocean.
11:50The lady, a boo.
11:51A lady just booed that idea.
11:54Wow.
11:54All right.
11:55Speed daters, let's keep it a little quieter.
11:57In the meantime, we got a caller on the line.
11:58Caller, welcome to the show.
11:59How can we help you?
12:00Hi, this is Connor Ratliff, presidential candidate.
12:03Presidential candidate, Connor Ratliff.
12:05Welcome to the show.
12:07Connor, how are you?
12:08How's the campaign going?
12:10The campaign is going very well.
12:11And I have to admit, the theme of the show tonight has made me want to call in and unburden myself of a secret.
12:18A secret?
12:19Um, there, there have been a lot of, uh, for those of you who have been following the presidential campaign, uh, there have been some scandals lately.
12:27Some sex scandals.
12:28That's true.
12:29And I have to admit, I must confess to being part of a love affair.
12:34Hold on, speed daters, pause, because we got breaking news.
12:37Presidential candidate, Connor Ratliff, is calling our show to admit he has been part of a love affair.
12:43So this is coming to the show.
12:43I am currently in the middle of a love affair with the American people.
12:49Wow.
12:51Wow.
12:51He's got me.
12:52Wow.
12:53He's got me.
12:54You got us all.
12:55Connor Ratliff, you're next.
12:56So you're, you're telling us right now, nobody's going to find any skeletons in your closet.
13:02I couldn't hear any of that.
13:03I'm sorry.
13:04Saying you're claiming right now, nobody's going to find any skeletons in your closet.
13:07No mistresses, no weird shit in your past.
13:10Oh, no, no, no.
13:11I, I'm, I'm in the biggest love affair of all.
13:14I, I'm in love with 300 million people.
13:18Wow.
13:19All right.
13:19And I'm not ashamed to admit it.
13:21Well, Connor, I'm glad the campaign's going well.
13:24We appreciate that call.
13:24Anything else you want to say to the people while you have them here, while you have the
13:27floor?
13:28Yes.
13:29I would like to say I am on the cusp of making a major announcement.
13:33Wow.
13:33I am about to be endorsed by a major car of reality television.
13:38Wow.
13:39A major reality TV star is on the cusp of endorsing you.
13:42That's right.
13:43I can't name names now.
13:44It's, we've made it official.
13:46Wow.
13:46Keep your eyes peeled.
13:47In the next seven days, you know, which major Reinhardt Park?
13:53Okay.
13:53We will keep our eyes peeled for that major announcement.
13:56Thank you very much, Connor.
13:58Thanks for the call.
13:59All right.
14:02So, ladies and gentlemen, right now we've had a, oh, speed date or switch.
14:06I think that's our final one.
14:07Final one.
14:08Final speed date.
14:09Let's switch.
14:10Oh, we're done.
14:11All right.
14:12Thank God.
14:12Finally, the show could quiet the fuck down.
14:15In the meantime, though, be.
16:46Yes.
16:47Yes.
16:48Who's this?
16:50How can we help you?
16:51Nothing.
16:52I just want to say hi to Chris.
16:53Yeah.
16:54Hey, what's up?
16:55I just wanted to say hi to you, Chris.
16:56Hi.
16:57How's it going?
16:58It's good.
16:59You know, I was going to call you like a couple of days ago to tell you that I had seen you on the commercial first, but the other guy beat me.
17:08That's cool.
17:09And I was arguing with my boyfriend about it.
17:16Wait, you got an argument with your boyfriend because you recognized me on a television?
17:19No, not a real, no, not a real, real argument.
17:21It was more, it was really just like, I know that's Chris. I know that's Chris. And he was like, no, I don't think so. And I was like, yes, it is. And that was it.
17:30Wait, Nicole Byer has a question. What are you eating? What are you eating right now?
17:37That was it. I just called to bother you.
17:41You just called up eating snacks just to-
17:44And to prove that I had no other commercial.
17:46We finally got some momentum going with this goddamn show and you called up with this nonsense.
17:51All right, thanks for the call. Let's go ahead. Human fish, come forward. Ladies and gentlemen.
17:57Oh, Jesus. This is good. Human fish. No ladies have called in being your human, uh, your, your, uh, wanting to be your human girlfriend tonight.
18:06What's on your mind right now in light of that? This will not work.
18:14Sadness. Wow. Versus loneliness.
18:19Sadness versus loneliness. Who wins?
18:22Both. Wow. That's a tie.
18:27Human fish. What's on your mind after hearing the reaction of that crowd?
18:31Not good.
18:34Versus?
18:35Very good.
18:36Who wins?
18:37Not good.
18:38The human fish. I believe that there's a lady out there who wants to be the human fish's first human girlfriend.
18:44If she's watching right now, call. We don't have much time left.
18:462-1-3-7-5-7-1-3-9-3. If she's in here, if there's a lady who right here has been like, that's me the whole time, I suggest you stand up.
18:55Stand up.
18:56Make it happen. Wow.
18:58Wow.
18:59All right.
19:00Human fish.
19:01That's our first candidate for first human, uh, girlfriend. How you feeling now? What's on your mind now?
19:07Do you need her to shake that ass?
19:08Make sure you feel it.
19:09For booty. We know you're a booty man.
19:12Oh, you're saying yes, you would like that.
19:14Well, that's not cool, human fish.
19:18I'm gonna go ahead and say, behind the banner with you two.
19:22Woo!
19:25All right, Katherine.
19:28Where's Katherine?
19:29Who else do we got?
19:30Okay, we have Martin and Denise.
19:32Martin and Denise, welcome to the show.
19:35Martin, Denise, how are you?
19:37I mean, we kind of started out bitter enemies.
19:39We kind of have a confession.
19:41Another confession.
19:42You knew each other too?
19:43Oh, shit.
19:44We're gonna just let it all out.
19:45I mean...
19:46Okay, say it.
19:47So, uh, we kind of had a contest going on, um, on Twitter.
19:51We made an agreement to see who could be more single by the end of the night.
19:55And I think...
19:56What does that mean?
19:57I don't know what that means.
19:58It means we had no expectations.
19:59And he drew Crayola.
20:00I mean, I...
20:01This wasn't really a selling point.
20:02This wasn't gonna...
20:03Well...
20:04I mean...
20:05I mean...
20:06So you guys pre-planned trying to sabotage your own dates, and then...
20:09Just with each other?
20:10Maybe?
20:11I don't know what it really meant, but we had a single off, and we're still singling off right now.
20:15Katherine, you were just wrong on this one.
20:17I connected on their little game.
20:18We connected on...
20:19Well, we connected on that.
20:20And...
20:21Other things.
20:22And other things.
20:23I mean, we had a good time.
20:24We talked about crying.
20:25We can hang out.
20:26Oh, we can hang out?
20:27I talked crying?
20:28What?
20:29They're bickering like fuckbusters.
20:30I know.
20:31See, we're totally...
20:32You are.
20:33Yeah.
20:34Murph did nail it.
20:35Anything?
20:36Okay, so anything you guys want to address?
20:38We're going to be together alone, single.
20:39Is that true?
20:40No.
20:41No, no, no, no.
20:42No.
20:43Open to the opportunity.
20:44Open to possibilities.
20:45Possibilities.
20:46Wow.
20:47People are yelling kiss her.
20:49People are yelling kiss her.
20:51Wow.
20:52Come on.
20:53All right.
20:54I'll leave it up to you.
20:55No, no.
20:56We're not going to pressure.
20:57Come on now.
20:58It's up to you guys.
20:59No pressure.
21:00Thank you, Martin G's.
21:01I don't want to pressure this.
21:02No, no, no.
21:03All right.
21:04One more.
21:05Because we can't...
21:06This show ain't about peer pressuring people into rapey situations.
21:09The kids show.
21:10Can't turn it up.
21:11One more that we wanted to do.
21:12No one will stand behind that curtain, by the way.
21:13They're all out and watching.
21:14Everybody.
21:15Well, they all took their time.
21:16Yeah, I mean, it is a weird curtain.
21:18Matthew's a gentleman.
21:19He doesn't...
21:20Matthew is a gentleman.
21:21Mandillo and Annie.
21:23Mandillo and Annie.
21:24Welcome to the show.
21:25Annie, good to see you.
21:27Nick, welcome back.
21:28Been a while since we've seen you.
21:29I'm good.
21:30Good to see you.
21:31So, Kathryn sensed some chemistry.
21:33Would you say she's correct?
21:34Uh, yeah.
21:35We had a good time.
21:36Wow.
21:37Yeah, it was fine.
21:38She was only the second person I talked to.
21:40Wow.
21:41But you never forgot her.
21:42Right.
21:43Always the first.
21:44But the problem is that she confesses.
21:45She's leaving in a week to go to...
21:46That is.
21:47So fucking...
21:48Where are you going?
21:49Where are you going?
21:50I'm going back home.
21:51You're going home?
21:52Yeah.
21:53How far away is that?
21:54Kind of far away.
21:55Okay.
21:56Too far for me to really...
21:57So, you're not a long distance man.
21:58No, not really.
21:59I know.
22:00I said that.
22:01How would you feel about having a one week love affair that you always hold fondly in
22:04your heart?
22:05No.
22:06Because those are fun too.
22:07Yeah, and I got nothing to do next week.
22:09He's got nothing to do?
22:11What?
22:12Next week?
22:13Oh man.
22:14Cute.
22:15You dick.
22:16Yeah.
22:17Of course.
22:18Of course.
22:19Trying to hook you up, man.
22:20Of course I would.
22:21Of course.
22:22Of course.
22:23Wow.
22:24You look vastly uncomfortable right now.
22:25Vastly.
22:26Really?
22:27Quite uncomfortable with this.
22:28Yeah.
22:29Okay.
22:30I might have pushed this one a little too far.
22:32Okay.
22:33Well, I'll leave you guys to talk this one out, but just know.
22:35You've got a strapping young gentleman willing to help you move.
22:37Willing to put his muscles on display and it sounds like there was mutual chemistry there.
22:40So just keep it in mind.
22:42Because I'll tell you this.
22:44You want to regret the things in life that you have done.
22:46Yeah.
22:47Not the things that you haven't.
22:48You don't want to look at the tape of this show.
22:50Don't clap for that.
22:51Don't clap for that.
22:52Don't clap for that.
22:56Denise, right?
22:57No, Denise.
22:59What?
23:00Annie?
23:01Annie.
23:02Annie came here knowing she only had a week left to live.
23:04You did.
23:05You signed up for this knowing you were going to die in a week.
23:07A week left to live, Annie.
23:08That's what it really comes down to.
23:09When you go home, you're dead.
23:12Because wherever you're going, the men ain't like the men in New York City.
23:17That's true.
23:18Why won't you tell us where you're going?
23:19I'm going to Salt Lake City, Utah.
23:21Where I'm from.
23:22Oh, God.
23:23Oh, God.
23:24I can't go around.
23:25I can't go around.
23:26All right.
23:27We can talk there.
23:29Wow.
23:30Well, Annie, Nick, I hope it works out.
23:32Cool.
23:33Thank you guys very much.
23:34Noah, you're telling me you've got some phone calls?
23:35We've got six minutes left.
23:36Okay.
23:37So what should we do?
23:38Keep dancing.
23:39All right.
23:40It's Riley.
23:41Let's go to the phones real quick.
23:42We have a caller on the line.
23:43Caller, welcome to the show.
23:44How's it going?
23:45Good.
23:46What do you want?
23:47What do you want to talk about tonight?
23:48Welcome.
23:49Well, first of all, it looks like Shannon has a new haircut.
23:51Loving it.
23:52Great haircut.
23:53Great haircut.
23:56That's awesome.
23:57So, yeah.
23:58What else is on your mind?
23:59It's about dating.
24:00I have not been successful, but I have a good story, I think.
24:03Okay.
24:04That I'd like to share.
24:05Um, I was invited to a party by this female, attracted to her, sure.
24:12Saturday night, I was like, oh, sounds interesting, but couldn't attend.
24:17Told her no.
24:18She asked why.
24:19Like, well, there's a new Chris Rock comedy special coming up.
24:23Can't watch it.
24:24Can't, can't go to the party.
24:27You got stood up for a Chris Rock comedy special?
24:30I stood her up for a Chris Rock comedy special.
24:32Oh.
24:34You deserve every ounce of loneliness.
24:37Right?
24:38I know.
24:39You do.
24:40Forever lonely over here.
24:41You are, but you can't pull shit like that and then not be lonely.
24:43You got to put yourself out there, man.
24:45Well, I mean, I was young then, but it was, like, to be fair, it was Chris Rock.
24:50HBO will rerun that shit.
24:52Yeah.
24:53Shit will be on demand on Saturday.
24:57That's, that's a good point.
24:59Great point.
25:00All right.
25:01Well, thank you very much for the call.
25:02We got to move on.
25:03That, bro, that was the saddest thing that's happened tonight.
25:06Now, Nicole, I feel, we haven't gotten any calls.
25:08I feel really bad.
25:09It's all right.
25:10Because I feel like you would have destroyed some man.
25:12I would have fucking deep-throated a dick.
25:15Oh.
25:17Right there behind, if a man showed up tonight.
25:20An attractive man that I wanted to jump on, I would have sucked a dick back there.
25:23Behind that curtain.
25:24Woo!
25:25It would have been awkward for the rest of us, but you would have fun.
25:27I don't know how awkward it would be.
25:29I mean, eh, if I went far, far enough, it'd be fine.
25:33No one would see it.
25:34I also feel like there's a couple guys in this studio who fit your profile tonight.
25:37Hmm.
25:38Are there?
25:39I'm looking at, I'm looking in Drew Johnston's direction.
25:41Woo!
25:42I'm looking in Drew Johnston's direction.
25:44Let's think about that.
25:45In the meantime, we want, we want our speed daters up on your feet.
25:49The LLC is going to start playing some music.
25:51We're going to do something called a snowball.
25:53I am not familiar with what this is.
25:54Anybody, not even the speed daters.
25:56We're going to start it off.
25:57We got one lady, one man.
25:58How about any, who wants to volunteer to grab a dance partner?
26:02Who's going to do it?
26:04Random Dan, who do you want to dance with?
26:07Random Dan, you guys, let's get out on that dance floor.
26:09You guys are going to start dancing, then who's going to yell snowball?
26:12Who's going to tell them?
26:14You guys are all going to suck cum out of each other.
26:16No, no, no, no, no.
26:18You guys are going to start dancing.
26:20Then the LLC is going to signal you, and then you're each going to grab a different partner.
26:24So there will be two couples dancing, then four couples dancing.
26:27And then all these people will be slow dancing in our studio to end the show.
26:30So grab your partner, let's get it going.
26:33LLC will make it happen.
26:35So one couple dances first?
26:37And then splits off into two couples.
26:38There we go.
26:39There's one couple starting.
26:41There we go.
26:42Alright.
26:43A couple of you two are going to get the cum sucked out of their assholes.
26:47Let's get it, let's split off already.
26:50Let's meet you, find a new partner.
26:52Let's get it, let's get it, let's get it.
26:55I don't know, man.
26:57Alright, fine.
26:58I won't even look.
26:59I won't even look.
27:00Yeah!
27:01What dreams are made of?
27:05Yes!
27:07Yes!
27:08Yes!
27:09Yes!
27:10Yes!
27:11Yes!
27:12Yes!
27:13Yes!
27:14Yes!
27:15Yes!
27:16Yes!
27:17Yes!
27:18Yes!
27:19Yes!
27:20Yes!
27:21Yes!
27:22Yes!
27:23Yes!
27:24Yes!
27:25Yes!
27:32Yes!
27:33Yes!
27:34No, I need a picture now, please!
27:36Please!
27:37No!
27:38Yes!
27:39No!
27:40Please!
27:41Anyway, thank you.
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