- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Daddy, is that Boinkle?
00:06How do they blow up those big balloons?
00:17Will you come chase this pipe building for me?
00:30Wow, fantasy number five, I can cross that off my list.
00:48You want to know my fantasy?
00:52You putting those groceries away?
00:54Oh, I'll put them away as soon as you make them into a meal.
01:04All right, hope I got everything here.
01:06Oh, honey, cinnamon sticks. I specifically said ground cinnamon.
01:11Well, grind them up.
01:14You can't just grind it up. You clearly have no idea how cinnamon works.
01:19Please don't tell the fellas.
01:21Hey, Kyle, your first Thanksgiving.
01:27All kinds of new foods you can throw up.
01:32Happy Thanksgiving, all.
01:34Oh, Andy, thank you.
01:37Wow, look at this. Marshmallows, graham crackers.
01:41I'm going to make a turkey s'more.
01:44And you wonder why your pants don't fit.
01:47That's because you leave them in the dryer way too long.
01:51Mommy, look at my hand turkey.
01:55Wow, that is the turkiest hand I've ever seen.
01:59Daddy, you and Michael Landy are twins.
02:03Yeah, what's with a bowling shirt?
02:07Well, uh...
02:09I don't know.
02:12It's just fun.
02:17It's a fun thing.
02:24Jim?
02:25Yes, Cheryl?
02:28Are you and Andy going bowling?
02:30Yes, we are, Cheryl.
02:34We're going to recreate the first Thanksgiving.
02:40Where the Indians and the pilgrims bowl together.
02:46You know, I need you here.
02:48I need you to carve the turkey.
02:50And we're going to do a photo for the Christmas card.
02:52And you know what?
02:53It is Kyle's first Thanksgiving.
02:55I know, honey.
02:56But this is a Toys for Tots charity thing.
02:59It's a bowl-a-thon.
03:00And I got to go.
03:02I got to go.
03:02I just got to go.
03:03You don't even have a toy.
03:04You're never too young to learn about giving.
03:15And you know what, Cheryl?
03:16Besides that, you should be thankful that we're going.
03:19I mean, you know, you got to focus on your cooking.
03:22You don't need all this distraction.
03:24You know, last year, the turkey was a little dry.
03:30Thank you, honey.
03:31You know, you're right about those distractions.
03:33Girls, you want to go bowling with Daddy and Uncle Andy?
03:37Yay!
03:43That turkey better be moist.
03:54Come here, Gracie.
03:55Now, I got four out of possible ten, so I put down four.
04:01You only got four?
04:03Yeah, four's not bad.
04:09Actually, four's pretty good.
04:11Are you going to try, baby?
04:15Are you?
04:17Hey!
04:18Gracie, never talk to your Aunt Andy like that.
04:23Uncle Andy, Uncle Andy.
04:25Go ahead, honey.
04:26All right.
04:27All right.
04:27Everybody happy?
04:32Here, Gracie, Gracie, Gracie.
04:34Come here, sweetheart.
04:36Let me help you here.
04:37Here.
04:38Yeah, just pick it up.
04:40That's it.
04:40Spread your legs a little bit.
04:42Look way down there.
04:43That's what you want to hit.
04:44Okay, then all you do is you just let it go.
04:54That four's looking pretty good right now, isn't it?
04:59Andy?
05:02Gracie?
05:02Gracie?
05:02Gracie, look at the puppy.
05:07Oh, ran away.
05:14Five!
05:19Five!
05:20Five!
05:21Game's not over, princess.
05:27Okay, everybody happy?
05:30All right, I'm going to go to that little dark room over there
05:33and watch some TV with some very sad Irish guys.
05:37Daddy, watch me.
05:39Okay, honey.
05:40Okay.
05:51Hey, that was great.
06:08That was just great, Groovy.
06:11Your turn, Daddy.
06:12Me?
06:15All right, all right.
06:16I can bowl one.
06:16One.
06:21Good luck, Daddy.
06:26Good luck, kids.
06:27Thank you, baby.
06:38Hey, a strike!
06:40A strike!
06:43Hey, how about that, huh?
06:46Who's your daddy?
06:48You are.
06:51Happy Thanksgiving!
06:56Hey!
06:57I made cranberry tarts, cream cheese brownies,
07:01and a pumpkin nut loaf with enough walnuts to make Jim itchy,
07:04but not enough to kill him.
07:08Wow, you must have been baking all night.
07:11Yeah.
07:12What's wrong?
07:14Nothing.
07:15It's just that I'm going to die shriveled and alone.
07:18Try the brownies.
07:19What did I tell you last holiday season when you were like this?
07:23Oh, some crap about how I'm smart and beautiful
07:26and any guy would be lucky to have me, blah, blah, blah.
07:29Where's the wine?
07:32You know, Dana, it's not easy to find the right guy.
07:36You have to think of it like a marathon.
07:38You know, it starts off with thousands
07:39and then ends up with just a few good ones out front.
07:42But the point is, you've got to keep running and you'll win the race.
07:47Or hit the wall and crap yourself.
07:54Chris, Tony, hi.
07:56Uh, Jim's not here.
07:58He took the girls bowling.
07:59So, bye.
08:06I'm going to close the door now.
08:10I guess Jim didn't tell you.
08:12He invited us for Thanksgiving.
08:14Yeah.
08:14Oh, isn't Carol with you?
08:18No, Carol left me a couple months ago.
08:21Oh.
08:22Yeah, I know.
08:23It's been pretty rough.
08:24Oh, yeah.
08:25Hey, Dana.
08:26Hi.
08:29So, uh, would you guys like, uh...
08:33Yeah.
08:33Yes.
08:45So, you like comic books?
08:54Okay, five strikes in a row.
08:56I'm on fire.
08:57Daddy!
08:59Not really, girls.
09:00Not really.
09:02Five strikes equals 130 points.
09:07How many of you have a plan?
09:08Shh, quiet.
09:09Father's bowling.
09:11Remember, folks,
09:12everything's got to be exactly the way it was
09:16before each ball.
09:18Okay?
09:20Ruby?
09:21My good luck kiss?
09:22Good luck, Daddy.
09:29Thank you, baby.
09:30Okay.
09:32Something isn't right.
09:36Gracie, were you drinking that soda before?
09:38No.
09:39Throw it up.
09:40Aw!
09:43That's too bad.
09:44What a shame.
09:45It looked very refreshing.
09:47Andy, eat the hot dog.
09:51Aw.
09:53Jim, I'm full.
09:55I've already eaten four.
09:57Eat it!
10:02Okay.
10:03Yes!
10:16Yes!
10:17Yes!
10:17Yes!
10:18Okay.
10:19Who's your daddy?
10:20You are.
10:23Yeah, yeah.
10:25The word on land, baby,
10:26is that you are halfway to a perfect game.
10:29That's right.
10:31That's right, Lewis.
10:32Hey, well, good luck, Jim.
10:34It's been a long while
10:35since we had somebody to the Wall of Fame.
10:38Yeah, I know.
10:38I know.
10:39Yeah, baby,
10:40and to do it on Thanksgiving
10:41would be special.
10:43Yes, it would.
10:45I really haven't had much of a Thanksgiving
10:47since the missus died.
10:50Do you know that
10:50when I was going to the...
10:52Lewis, Lewis, Lewis.
10:54Huh?
10:55I'm trying to bowl here.
10:56Oh, yeah, yeah, man.
10:57Go ahead, go ahead.
10:58Okay.
10:59She'll still be dead tomorrow.
11:07Ruby?
11:09Come on.
11:15Good luck, Daddy.
11:16Thank you, honey.
11:28One more and your dad gets 300.
11:55A perfect game.
12:00One more.
12:05One more.
12:07Uh, God?
12:21Hi, it's...
12:22It's me, Jim.
12:25I really, really, really want to strike.
12:28I promise I won't ask for anything again.
12:34And, by the way, uh...
12:37Thanks for all the great creations that you've made.
12:41Like, uh...
12:43Like, uh...
12:45Bacon.
12:49Pork chops.
12:52You know, the pig in general is really great.
13:01Amen.
13:02Wow.
13:03The power's off.
13:15Two numbers over.
13:17What about my game?
13:19Oh, yeah.
13:20Two-mighty.
13:21Nice effort, Jim.
13:22Wow, so that's how Spider-Man got his powers.
13:32Uh-huh.
13:34Beaten by a radioactive spider.
13:37What bit Wonder Woman?
13:39I heard it was Iron Man, but I think that's just an ugly rule.
13:41What?
13:52Dana?
13:53Could I see you in here?
13:54I'm having a crisis with the, um...
13:56Uh, plates.
13:57Coming, Mom.
14:01Wonder Woman will return.
14:07Dana?
14:08What are you doing?
14:09What? I'm entertaining the guests. I don't want to be rude.
14:14Chris is so cute.
14:16Dana, you have met Chris a hundred times. You always make fun of him.
14:21But suddenly, holiday season plus glass and a half of wine equals Chris is so cute.
14:28You just don't understand Chris the way I do.
14:32We're simple folk.
14:33Well, I wonder if you'll see Chris the same way when you take off your Chardonnay goggles.
14:42Fine. No more wine.
14:44But you can fix the plates yourself.
14:47And you know what else? No more wine.
14:52Now, if you'll excuse me.
14:54Dana, you know, this is kind of a special day.
14:57I just really don't want anything to ruin it.
15:00Hey! Oh, good. There you are. You know, I was just going to call. Dinner's ready.
15:07Where's Ruby?
15:08With Jim. For good luck.
15:10Good luck for what?
15:13Funny story.
15:14Jim, you know, it's Thanksgiving. The whole family's here. Please come home.
15:34Cheryl, I can't.
15:36But, honey, Andy said that the power's out and it's hopeless.
15:39Honey, I am one strike away from a perfect game and the league says if I leave, it's over.
15:45Hey, did you know that Chris and Tony are here?
15:49Sorry. Careful, everybody. Broken glass.
15:53And, honey, you know what? It is Kyle's first Thanksgiving. Doesn't that matter to you?
15:58Come on, honey. He's just a baby. He doesn't even know who I am.
16:01But what about the family photo and that stupid pilgrim story with the pie fight?
16:09You know, honey, who's going to carve the turkey?
16:12Cheryl, I don't expect you to understand this, but I just need to do this one thing.
16:18Bring my Ruby home!
16:20One more thing. Ruby can't leave.
16:23What?
16:24She's got to kiss me before I bowl. It's a good luck thing.
16:28But she's missing Thanksgiving dinner.
16:31Daddy, my hair's sick in the candy machine!
16:35Honey, nobody likes a quitter.
16:38Okay.
16:41Cheryl, I gotta go. Bye.
16:44Did you get anything?
16:47Jim?
16:49Great. Jim's not coming and my daughter's eating candy for Thanksgiving.
16:54You hear that? Ruby's eating candy.
16:58No, don't, don't cry. I'm sorry.
17:02No, don't, don't cry.
17:03Andy, what did you do?
17:06She misses her dad.
17:10Why would you even tell me a joke like that?
17:13Well, they thought we were getting closer.
17:15How old are you?
17:16What happened to the great sense of humor you had about an hour ago?
17:19I peed it out.
17:20Oh, I peed it out.
17:23Hey, sweetie.
17:24I'm sorry.
17:27Careful, everybody.
17:28Broken glass.
17:29Stop crying, please.
17:31That's it.
17:39Cheryl, I'm not coming home.
17:42I'm right in my mojo zone.
17:44Don't worry.
17:45I'm just here to get Ruby.
17:47And you know what?
17:47I don't want to hear about your zone or your mojo.
17:50And by the way, I hate it when you use the word mojo.
17:55Well, you know what?
17:56I don't like some of the words you use.
17:58Like I hate it when you call a pickle a gherkin.
18:02A gherkin is a very special pickle.
18:06Cheryl, can you please just be mad at me for one thing at a time?
18:12Okay.
18:15Sit down.
18:15Cheryl, did you ever do anything perfect?
18:23I married you.
18:26I'm kidding.
18:30All right, look.
18:33There's nothing special about me, okay?
18:35I mean, I was never the captain of a football team.
18:39I wasn't the kid who got straight A's at school.
18:41I mean, I even remember this one time in Mrs. Pearson's math class.
18:49There was this boy who got 100 on every test.
18:56Perfect.
18:58100, Cheryl.
19:00And I used to look at that test, that 100,
19:04and I would think to myself,
19:07boy, I wish I was that kid.
19:12I mean, I didn't want to be Chinese.
19:17But, but,
19:19do you kind of get where I'm going, Harry?
19:21I'm listening.
19:22I'm a very lucky person.
19:24When I was an average kid,
19:27grew up to be an average man.
19:31But, Cheryl, today,
19:33I got a shot.
19:36I got a shot here.
19:38I mean, I, I, I feel like a kid
19:40who suddenly,
19:41suddenly has a chance to pitch in the World Series
19:44or, or to go to the moon
19:46or to be king of the United States.
19:51We have presidents, Jim.
19:53I know I want to be king!
19:59Cheryl,
20:01do you realize a 300 in bowling
20:04is a perfect score?
20:07Perfect, Cheryl.
20:10And all they can do is time me.
20:14They can never beat me.
20:23I, I, I think you should take Ruby home.
20:35So,
20:43all this is to get your picture on the wall
20:46with seven fat guys?
20:52I'm going to make it eight.
20:53Come on, sir.
21:20I want to get two beers, officer.
21:22All right, I came in to your office here
21:29to take a little nap.
21:31Man, what time is it?
21:35Hey, what's up with the power thing?
21:37The white man still has it.
21:41Oh, oh, oh, you, you mean the system.
21:44No, my system's still fried, man.
21:46Ain't nothing happening tonight, Jim.
21:50All right.
21:54I'm going.
21:55But you're giving it up.
21:57Yeah, I got a wife and family waiting for me at home.
22:00And I got a beautiful wife waiting for me up in heaven.
22:04We're both lucky then, huh?
22:12You know, Lewis,
22:13I was this close to being perfect.
22:18Yes, you were.
22:20Okay.
22:26Okay.
22:36Cheryl?
22:38Hey.
22:39I thought Kyle should spend his first Thanksgiving
22:46watching his father bowl a perfect game.
22:50Thanks.
22:55Do it up, Jim.
22:57Good luck, Jim.
22:58Good luck, big Jim.
22:59Good luck, Jim.
23:09Mm, smells delicious.
23:12I haven't had a Thanksgiving dinner since.
23:16Since.
23:17Oh, I'm sorry.
23:19What's wrong with Lewis?
23:22Beats me.
23:29Good luck, Daddy.
23:43Good luck, Daddy.
23:45Thank you, baby.
23:50Good luck, Daddy.
23:59Good luck, Daddy.
24:29Yes, yes, baby.
24:36Who's your daddy?
24:38You are.
24:40All right, champ, I'm going to take a picture for the Wall of Fame with my dead wife's camera.
24:47Yes.
24:50Wait, wait, wait, wait.
24:52No, no, come on, everybody.
24:53Everybody, come here.
24:55Come here.
24:56Hey, Tony, grab me that leg, would you?
25:00Here you are, Kyle, on your first Thanksgiving.
25:03Cheese!
25:08Honey, I can't believe you did this.
25:11I mean, the candles, the dinner, you're just like the greatest wife ever.
25:17But good luck, kiss.
25:18Oh.
25:20Go get them.
25:21Okay.
25:29Star!
25:29Star!
25:37Star!
25:38You
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