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00:00The Lucy Show
00:11Starring Lucille Ball
00:30The Lucy Show
00:50The Lucy Show
01:00The Lucy Show
01:05The Lucy Show
01:10I'm coming! I'm coming!
01:14Hold your horses.
01:17Hey!
01:18Oh, it's you!
01:19Yeah!
01:20Hey, I've got the most wonderful news for you, Lucy.
01:23Good, I can use some.
01:24Are you still looking for a chance to make extra money?
01:27Well, I sure am.
01:28If I don't make a payment on my television set this month,
01:30I'll be back to eating my TV dinners in front of my radio.
01:35Your problems are over.
01:37Oh?
01:38One of the producers at our studio is looking for a secretary
01:41to work at his house over the weekend.
01:44That sounds wonderful.
01:45Guess who the producer is.
01:47Who?
01:48Milton Berle.
01:50Milton Berle, the comedian?
01:52It's Milton Berle, the producer.
01:54Now he's producing a motion picture.
01:57Oh, he doesn't have his television show anymore, does he?
02:00No!
02:02Oh, the poor soul.
02:03I guess he needed a steady job.
02:05Well, I'll help him all I can.
02:10Oh, he's a wonderful man.
02:12Okay, Miss Evans.
02:16When he comes in, will you tell him that Milton Berle called?
02:18Ruth?
02:26Ruth?
02:26Ruth?
02:27Yes, dear?
02:28Yes, dear.
02:35Did that secretary get here yet?
02:37No, not yet.
02:38Honey, while you're waiting for her to come, I wish you'd eat some breakfast.
02:41Honey, I'm too busy.
02:42I'm working on the budget for the picture.
02:43Well, you shouldn't be too busy to eat.
02:45Huh?
02:46You've been working night and day.
02:48What are you trying to prove?
02:49Oh, I happen to love show business.
02:51I want to make good.
02:53Make good?
02:54Yeah.
02:54Are you kidding?
02:55You've had a very successful career.
02:57What?
02:58As a comedian?
02:59Ruth, when a man matures, he wants the kind of success that brings respect.
03:03I mean, when you meet people today and you talk about Berle, what's the best thing they can say about him?
03:07He's funny.
03:08He's funny.
03:08He's funny.
03:09Well, I'm out to prove that Berle is not funny.
03:12That's not a nice thing to say.
03:19You can say anything.
03:21That's what hurts.
03:22You love me too much to say it.
03:24Of course I love you.
03:25Yeah.
03:26That's why I hate to see you working so hard, taking on all this hard work.
03:29Oh, Ruth, don't start it.
03:30Seems to me you've had enough success in show business to satisfy anyone.
03:33I mean, vaudeville, movies, television, nightclubs.
03:37Why do you want to be a producer?
03:39Don't you understand, Ruth, dear?
03:40I want to grow.
03:42Well, then he ought to stop smoking.
03:43I would...
03:44Hello.
03:55I'm Mrs. Carmichael.
03:57Mr. Berle's been waiting for you.
03:59Oh.
04:00Well, I...
04:00I sure am looking forward to meeting Mr. Berle.
04:05May I take your coat?
04:05Oh, thank you.
04:07My...
04:08You know, I'm a very big fan of his.
04:10Once I sent him a letter and he sent me an autographed picture.
04:14Well, now you can meet him in person.
04:16Oh.
04:17Mrs. Carmichael, this is Mr. Berle.
04:19How do you do?
04:20Oh, Mr. Berle.
04:22I can't tell you how happy I am to meet you.
04:25I'm one of your biggest fans.
04:27Oh, you're putting me on.
04:28No, I'm not.
04:29You can ask your maid.
04:35This is Mrs. Berle.
04:37Oh.
04:38Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
04:41I apologize.
04:42That's all right.
04:43Don't apologize.
04:44I'm still his maid.
04:46I have some shopping to do.
04:48I'll see you later.
04:49All right, darling.
04:49Goodbye, Mrs. Berle.
04:51Don't spend too much money, honey.
04:53Come on, we better get to work.
04:54Yes.
04:55Like a gag I used to do.
04:57All play and no work makes no jack.
04:59Ah!
05:02Oh, that's funny.
05:05It wasn't that funny.
05:10Oh, you're always funny to me, Mr. Berle.
05:12You know something?
05:13I used to just love when you dressed up as a hillbilly
05:16and you wore those funny clothes and you went...
05:20You remember that?
05:23I used to just dye at you.
05:25Oh, I remember once you dressed up like a seal.
05:28You were wonderful.
05:29You went...
05:30You were a riot.
05:35Thank you very much, but I'd like to get some work done.
05:37Oh, yes, sir.
05:38Just sit down here, please.
05:39Yes, sir.
05:39I just know working with you is going to be a ball.
05:42Now, when you're ready, I'd like to dictate a letter to my director, Mr. Lou Jackson.
05:46Yes, sir.
05:46I'm ready, sir.
05:47Say, dear Lou, regarding your letter of the 25th...
05:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:52Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:53Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:55What are you laughing at?
05:57Well, you always make me laugh.
06:00What's so funny about regarding your letter of the 25th?
06:03Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:07Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:07Mrs. Carmichael, will you please tell me what's so funny?
06:10Oh, I don't know.
06:11Oh, it's the way you say things.
06:16All I said was regarding your letter of the 25th.
06:20I know, I know.
06:22And you look like a rabbit when you...
06:24Now let's get back to work.
06:34Yes, sir.
06:35I loved your suggestions.
06:38I think that we should get Robert Wagner to play the part of the pilot.
06:41Oh, Robert Wagner is very good.
06:44If you have any other ideas on this, let me hear from you.
06:46Well, I'll think about it tonight.
06:51I was dictating.
06:53Oh, oh.
06:55Just sign that, yours truly.
06:56Would you do that for me?
06:57Yes, sir.
06:57And now I have another important letter, personal letter, get out.
07:00And it goes to this address right here.
07:02Mr. Marvin Kane, Beverly House of Fashion.
07:05That's right.
07:05I'd want to order something for my wife.
07:07Next week is our wedding anniversary.
07:09Oh, congratulations.
07:10Thank you very much.
07:11Dear Marvin...
07:12What anniversary is it, Mr. Burrell?
07:15Our 14th.
07:15Oh.
07:16Dear Marvin, next week is my 14th.
07:18Where did you meet Mrs. Burrell?
07:21It was a blind date.
07:23Some friends brought her to my television show.
07:25I can still see her sitting out in the audience that night.
07:28She was wearing a beautiful black velvet gown,
07:30trimmed in ermine and a string of pearls with matching earrings.
07:34Oh.
07:34That was our first date.
07:36By the way, that was our first fight.
07:38Your first fight?
07:39Yes.
07:40Well, what did you fight about?
07:42I came out on the stage wearing the same outfit.
07:47Oh, my goodness.
07:49Well, if you had a fight on your first date,
07:51how did you ever get together?
07:53Would you really like to know, Miss Carmichael?
07:55Oh, I'd love to know.
07:56A dozen roses did the trick.
07:58Oh, that was sweet.
08:00Yes.
08:01It was the first time anyone ever sent me flowers.
08:05Wrapped in a girdle.
08:07Wrapped in a girdle?
08:08Oh, what a sense of humor your wife has.
08:11That's true.
08:12That's why I begged her to marry me.
08:14You begged her to marry you?
08:16Yes, I did.
08:17Where else could I get a part where the baggy pants comic
08:19winds up with the lovely leading lady?
08:22Oh, what a nice thing to say.
08:26Dear Marvin.
08:28I already have that.
08:33Anything wrong?
08:34Oh, no.
08:35I just think the way you feel about Mrs. Burrow is very touching.
08:40Well, she's my wife.
08:42Yeah, I know, I know.
08:43But you hear about Hollywood and Hollywood marriages, you know.
08:47I've heard that sometimes stars are so involved with themselves
08:51that they're just not capable of loving anyone else.
08:53That's ridiculous.
08:56Look how I love Marvin.
08:57I've called him dear six times already.
08:59Oh, I'm sorry.
09:01I'm sorry.
09:02All right.
09:02Dear Marvin, next week is my 14th wedding anniversary,
09:05and I would like to order something very special for Ruth.
09:08A black velvet gown trimmed in ermine
09:10and a nice strand of pearls with matching earrings.
09:13Oh, Mr. Burrow, what a beautiful thought,
09:16getting the same outfit she wore on her first date with you.
09:20Oh, no wonder you have such a great marriage.
09:22You're so sweet and so kind and so thoughtful.
09:25No, no, no, Mrs. Carmichael.
09:26Ruth is the one who's sweet and kind,
09:28seeing that I eat right,
09:29that I don't work too hard,
09:30sitting out in the audience and laughing at all my jokes.
09:33Believe me, that takes loyalty, real loyalty,
09:35especially some of the jokes I told in Kansas City.
09:39You know, Mrs. Carmichael,
09:40whenever I'm sick, she brings me hot chicken soup.
09:43Oh?
09:43And when I have a fever,
09:45she brings me frozen chicken soup
09:46and puts it on my head.
09:50And that's one of the jokes I told in Kansas City.
09:54And she laughed?
09:58She even applauded.
10:00Oh, she really loves you.
10:04Well, that's why I try to make her happy.
10:06And on our anniversary,
10:07I'll spring the gowns and the pearls and the earrings
10:09all in such a way that it'll be a complete surprise.
10:13Oh, what are you going to do?
10:14I'll come down the stairs wearing the whole outfit.
10:18Oh, Mrs. Carmichael, that's beautiful.
10:21I really think that's going to be...
10:22Oh, you're a wonderful coat.
10:30Sorry, I got so wrapped up in work,
10:32I forgot about lunch.
10:33I'll eat some tea,
10:34and I'm going to look for something for a sandwich.
10:36Well, now, look, Mr. Burr,
10:37you have a lot of work to do.
10:38Well, how about letting me fix lunch?
10:40So you think you can find your way around?
10:42Oh, sure.
10:42I love to look at other people's refrigerators.
10:44Really?
10:46I'm a medicine chess man myself.
10:49Oh, Mr. Burr, you're funny.
10:52Oh, look here.
10:54Some beautiful tomatoes and lettuce and...
10:56Oh, you know something?
10:58I make a wonderful Caesar salad.
11:00You do?
11:01Yeah, better than Julius.
11:05Caesar salad better than Julius.
11:07That's funny.
11:08You know where I can find a very large salad bowl?
11:12I'll find it.
11:12Any kind of salad.
11:15What's that?
11:16That's the front door, dear.
11:17Oh, I'll get it.
11:24Hello.
11:25Oh!
11:26Oh, it's Runa Lee, the movie star.
11:29Just don't stand there.
11:30Let her in.
11:31Oh!
11:31Oh!
11:31Runa, you'll have to excuse my secretary.
11:42She didn't mean to kill your entrance.
11:44She just gets excited about movie stars.
11:47Well, it's good to see you, Runa.
11:48Runa is a friend of the family.
11:50Oh.
11:51Let's sit down.
11:52The...
11:52What?
11:52Oh, yes.
11:53Uh, Runa, this is my secretary, Mrs. Carmichael.
11:57Hello.
11:57How do you do, Miss Lee?
11:59I'm so glad to meet you.
12:00I go to see all of your movies.
12:02Do?
12:03Yes, some of them I see two and three times.
12:05Well, thank you.
12:06I never get enough of you, Miss Lee.
12:08You know, I just wish you were old enough to have some of your pictures on the Late Late Show.
12:11Oh, that's very flattering.
12:15To me, it isn't.
12:17Uh, let's sit down and get comfortable.
12:24Oh, thank you.
12:26Oh, excuse me.
12:26I have some water boiling.
12:31Milton?
12:31Yes, dear?
12:32Where's Ruth?
12:32Oh, Ruth, she's out shopping.
12:34Oh.
12:35Now, what is all this I hear about your being a producer?
12:37That's true, darling.
12:38I'm producing a great one.
12:39The picture's called The Friendly Sky.
12:41And the reason I have to come over here, there's a part in it for you that would be just perfect.
12:45Oh, really?
12:46Yeah.
12:46What's it like?
12:47Well, it's a very dramatic part about a girl who becomes involved with a married man.
12:51Oh, Milton, that doesn't sound like me.
12:54Oh, no.
12:54I never play the other woman.
12:56I always play wholesome parts.
12:57You know, the girl next door.
12:59Well, that's why it'll be good for you, because it's different.
13:01Look, instead of me trying to sell you, how about, uh, Ruth, reading a scene with me?
13:06I have it right here.
13:07Uh, turn to page 17.
13:09I don't come in until page 17.
13:14Oh, the early pages are all about you.
13:17They build up your entrance.
13:19Oh.
13:19Now, honey, the scene starts where you say, where's your wife?
13:25Look it up.
13:25All right.
13:26Let me just look this over.
13:28That's fine.
13:28Uh, by the way, my secretary's fixing some lunch.
13:31Will you join us?
13:31Fine.
13:32Yeah, how about a cup of tea while we're waiting?
13:33Oh, I'd love some.
13:34Okay.
13:38Mrs. Carmichael?
13:41What?
13:42Mrs. Carmichael?
13:43Yeah, where are you?
13:47I'm talking on the intercom.
13:48Can you hear me?
13:49Oh, yes.
13:50You're coming in loud and clear.
13:52Miss Lee is going to join us for lunch.
13:55Oh, really?
13:56Yes.
13:56And we'd like a cup of tea now.
13:58Oh, Roger.
14:02How about it, beautiful?
14:03Are you ready?
14:04All right, Milton.
14:05Okay.
14:07Now.
14:09Where is your wife?
14:11Who cares about my wife?
14:12We're alone.
14:16Darling, it's so wonderful to see you again.
14:20Not nearly as wonderful as it is for me, to see you.
14:24What a shame that we have to steal these precious moments.
14:29I treasure every one of them.
14:32But what about your wife?
14:34Are you sure she doesn't suspect?
14:37My wife is too stupid to suspect.
14:42I've been trying to get rid of her for years.
14:47Darling, let's not talk about her.
14:49Just cuddle close and let my lips caress your loveliness.
14:54Oh.
14:56My love.
14:57My pet.
14:59It's no use.
15:01I can't go on sharing you.
15:03I can't.
15:04I can't.
15:04I can't.
15:11Mrs. Carmichael?
15:12What happened?
15:14I dropped the cream pitcher.
15:16Well, no use crying over spilt milk.
15:20That's very funny.
15:22Ha, ha, ha, ha.
15:23Very funny.
15:27Luna, that's a wonderful party.
15:29Am I right?
15:30Oh, I don't know, Milton.
15:31I'll have to think about this.
15:33I can't believe it.
15:54I can't believe it.
15:58Thank you, darling.
16:14Sugar.
16:15Mrs. Carmichael.
16:16I said sugar.
16:18Oh, I thought you were talking to her.
16:20One lump, please.
16:30Oh, Mrs. Carmichael.
16:31Yes?
16:32Would you mind giving me a couple of lumps?
16:37I would love to.
16:50It's all right.
16:52No harm done.
16:53I'll serve your lunch as soon as it's ready, sir.
16:56Mrs. Carmichael.
16:56Yes, sir?
16:58Would you care to join us for some tea?
17:00Oh, I wouldn't think of intruding on your privacy.
17:07She's a wonderful secretary, and she makes a Caesar salad better than Julius.
17:12Milton, that's a very funny line.
17:15It's mine.
17:20Oh, I just can't believe it.
17:30I thought he was such a nice man.
17:34Imagine that.
17:35I used to laugh at him all the time.
17:37I'll never laugh at him again.
17:39I can tell him that.
17:41Fooling around with another woman when he's got such a wonderful wife.
17:44Oh, my God.
17:50He's sick.
17:55He ought to be ashamed of himself, that's what.
17:57Hi, Mrs. Carmichael.
17:59Oh, hi, Mrs. Burrell.
18:03What's Mr. Burrell got you doing?
18:06Oh, well, I'm just fixing him some lunch.
18:09That's very nice of you.
18:11Where is Mr. Burrell?
18:12He's inside with a friend of the family.
18:16A friend of the family?
18:17Yeah, Miss Ruda Lee.
18:19Oh, how nice.
18:21Milton's been wanting to get together with Ruda for a long time.
18:26Well, he got together with her, all right.
18:30I think I'll go in and say hello.
18:31Oh, no, no, they're very busy.
18:33They're very busy in there.
18:34I don't think you should go in.
18:37You've been busy, too, haven't you?
18:39Yes, I've been doing some shopping.
18:40Yeah.
18:41I bought Milton a surprise anniversary gift.
18:43Oh, how nice.
18:44Well, I think I'll just poke my head in.
18:46No, don't poke.
18:47Oh, so you got him a surprise gift, huh?
18:54Yes.
18:55I bought him a new golf bag.
18:57Oh, that's wonderful.
18:58Sometimes a man gets tired going around with the same old bag.
19:01I mean, it's nice when a man has two bags.
19:17That's a good gift.
19:20No, don't let him know you're home, please.
19:22You better stay right out here.
19:24Don't go in there because then he'll know you're home and he'll come out here and he might see your gift.
19:27You better hide it.
19:27You really ought to hide this.
19:29Yes, it's a beautiful gift.
19:31You don't want him to see it.
19:32If he knows you're home, he might come out here.
19:33Why don't you hide it upstairs?
19:34Maybe you're right.
19:35Yeah, I know I'm right.
19:36You know, I'm glad you're fixing Milton some lunch.
19:44He needs to keep up his strength.
19:46Milton, I just don't think this part is right for me.
19:59Why not?
20:00Well, like I said, I've never played the other woman before.
20:03Now, the public accepts me in a certain image and I just don't think I can be convincing in this role.
20:09Convincing?
20:10Are you kidding?
20:11Rudy, you'd be great.
20:12Do you think I'd let you do anything that might hurt your image or jeopardize your career just to get you in my picture?
20:17Yes, I do.
20:18Well, that's beside the point.
20:21Now, Rudy, please, will you take the script home, get the feel of it, then come over here Monday night, have dinner with Ruth and me, and we can discuss it, huh?
20:28Well, all right, I'll take the script.
20:30But I can't possibly be here Monday night.
20:33Because Monday night, you and Ruth are coming over to my house.
20:36I'm having a little dinner party in honor of your 14th wedding anniversary.
20:40That's wonderful, darling.
20:42And maybe sometime during the evening, you and I can sneak off together someplace and discuss things.
20:49All right.
20:52Mr. Burrell.
20:54Yes, Mrs. Carmichael.
20:56May I toss the salad?
20:57Please do.
20:58What's the big idea?
21:18What are you, some kind of a nut?
21:19You're the one who's some kind of a nut, married 14 years to a wonderful wife, a wife who worries about you, brings you chicken soup when you're sick and laughs at your stale jokes in Kansas City.
21:29What thanks does she get?
21:30What thanks does she get?
21:31You call her stupid and carry on with another woman.
21:34Another woman?
21:35Me?
21:35Don't act so innocent, you teeny-bopper, you.
21:43I heard you over the intercom.
21:46Just cuddle close.
21:48Let my lips caress your loveliness.
21:50Oh, my love.
21:51Oh, my pet.
21:52I can't go on sharing you.
21:53I can't.
21:54I can't.
21:55I can't.
21:55Arrest your loveliness.
21:56Are you crazy or something?
21:58That was a scene we were rehearsing from his picture.
22:00From one of my new pictures.
22:01Your picture.
22:02Yes, my...
22:02Ah, a likely story.
22:07You?
22:09You listen to me.
22:11Listen to me.
22:12I can't see you.
22:13Listen to me.
22:15What is it, Mrs. Carmichael?
22:17What is it?
22:18You can't fool me like you fool your stupid wife.
22:21Stupid wife.
22:26Did somebody call me?
22:33Ruth, Ruth.
22:35I thought you gave up comedy.
22:39Oh, I'm so sorry, Mrs. Burl.
22:43I tried to keep all of this from you.
22:45You poor little fan.
22:47Now, now, Ruth, this is an entire misunderstanding.
22:49I'll say it is.
22:50Yes, yes.
22:50Mrs. Carmichael overheard us rehearsing a love scene
22:53and she believed it.
22:54You bet I believed it.
22:55I heard every word you said.
22:56You're not kidding me.
22:57Now, will you stop that?
22:58Give me that.
22:59This is the script.
23:00This is the script that we're reading.
23:02Don't you see these lines?
23:03Yeah, what script?
23:03Caress me, my love.
23:04Let me caress your loveliness.
23:06My love, my...
23:06I can't.
23:07I can't bear to share it.
23:08Yeah, read it.
23:09Read it.
23:14Oh.
23:16Oh, I'm sorry.
23:17I apologize.
23:18Yeah.
23:19Oh, good heavens.
23:20But when I heard it over the intercom, it all sounded so real.
23:24You were so convincing.
23:26Oh, I don't know what came over me.
23:29I know what came over me.
23:37Mr. Burrow, can you ever forgive me?
23:45Forgive you?
23:45Mrs. Carmichael.
23:57Mrs. Carmichael.
24:01I'll not only forgive you, but I want to tell you, I love you.
24:05You love me?
24:06Yeah, because you believed Ruda as the other woman.
24:09Now, Ruda, this ought to convince you that you can play the part.
24:15Yeah.
24:17Oh, that's wonderful.
24:20That's great.
24:23This is show business.
24:24Yeah.
24:26Hey, let's all have some lunch.
24:28We'll have some lunch because the salad's on me.
24:33Aaaaaaah!
25:03The End
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