- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00The Lucy Show
00:12Starring Lucille Ball
00:18Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30Mrs. Carmichael
00:56Those boots were made for walking
00:59Oh, well I'm having trouble with this typewriter
01:03Well you shouldn't have, it's a brand new electric typewriter
01:05A child could run it
01:07Well I'll bet Tom Edison himself couldn't work this one
01:10Couldn't I have my old typewriter back?
01:12No, you simply have got to learn how to run that electric typewriter
01:16Well couldn't I break in slowly like maybe on a gas typewriter?
01:21This is no time to be facetious, Mrs. Carmichael
01:24Well
01:24Now did you put the paper in properly?
01:27Of course
01:27Did you hit the keys properly?
01:29Yes, I did
01:30Did you plug it in properly?
01:33Oh, plug it in
01:35Oh, you must think I'm a perfect idiot
01:38Nobody's perfect
01:40But you'll do until the real thing comes along
01:44Now, Mrs. Carmichael
01:47This is an electric typewriter
01:49Yes, sir
01:50This is the plug for the electric typewriter
01:54Yes, sir
01:54And this is the outlet that supplies the electricity for the electric typewriter
01:59Oh, Mr. Mooney, I don't
02:00Now, please don't interrupt
02:02Now, the typewriter will not work without electricity
02:05We must plug it in
02:06So
02:07Mr. Mooney, I
02:08Please don't interrupt
02:10So
02:12We plug this into that bus lane
02:16That's what I tried to tell you
02:25That outlet has a short circuit
02:28Now, if you don't mind, Mr. Mooney
02:31We plug this into that
02:37Thusly
02:39See, Mr. Mooney
02:53This machine is wonderful
02:56You know, it practically types by itself
02:58I'll bet someday they invent a typewriter that does type by itself
03:02And then you wouldn't need me
03:04May I live to see the day?
03:09Well, I don't think that was a very nice thing for you to say
03:12No, you don't
03:13No, I don't
03:14You know something?
03:15You're always finding fault with me
03:17If I'm so incompetent
03:19How come you picked me from a secretarial pool?
03:22Picked you?
03:23You were the only one left
03:25You know, you're lucky you got me
03:29Good help is very hard to find these days
03:31I know, I'm still looking
03:33It'll be a lot easier for me to go out and get another job
03:38Than for you to find another secretary
03:40You get another job?
03:43Ha!
03:45I could get another job if I wanted to
03:47Well, it would be very interesting to see just what kind of a job you think you're qualified for
03:53Well, I'm qualified for a lot more than you ever give me credit for
03:56And I'd like a chance to prove it
03:58I'll tell you that
03:58All right, good, good
03:59Why don't we start by looking in the help-wanted section of the newspaper?
04:03That's a very good idea
04:04Oh, here we are
04:06Help-wanted female
04:07Excellent position open for unusually talented young lady
04:13College graduate
04:15With a master's degree in psychology
04:18And a thorough background in calculus
04:21Trigonometry
04:22And mathematical analysis
04:24Must speak six languages
04:27And be expert at operating a digital computer
04:32What's their phone number?
04:36You're going to apply for the job?
04:39No, I'm going to call them and tell them not to count on me
04:41I think not
04:44Oh, here's another job that you're not qualified for
04:47Mr. Mooney, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to select my own new job
04:51Well, I'm just trying to help
04:52Thank you
04:53But I'd like to find it
04:54Oh, here's one
04:56It's an ad for an employment agency that specializes in unusual jobs
05:00The unique employment agency
05:02We get odd positions for odd people
05:04Oh, that's you, all right
05:06Never mind
05:07I'm going right down and see them
05:09They'll never find a job for anyone as incompetent as you are
05:12I am not incompetent
05:14I know what I'm doing every minute
05:16And don't you forget it
05:17Oh, never mind
05:18Never mind
05:19I'll take care of it
05:20Go
05:20Go
05:21Go
05:22All right
05:22Oh
05:23Knows what she's doing every minute
05:26Ah!
05:27Ah!
05:27Ah!
05:28Ah!
05:28Ah!
05:28Ah!
05:28Ah!
05:29Ah!
05:29Ah!
05:29Ah!
05:29Ah!
05:29Ah!
05:29Ah!
05:29Ah!
05:30Ah!
05:30Ah!
05:30Ah!
05:30Ah!
05:31Ah!
05:31Ah!
05:32Ah!
05:32Ah!
05:33Ah!
05:34Ah!
05:34Ah!
05:35Ah!
05:36Ah!
05:36Ah!
05:37Ah!
05:38Ah!
05:38When you talk about your employment problems
05:40Um I have some background information I'd like to ask you
05:43Yes ma'am
05:44Ah!
05:45Name?
05:46Lucille Carmichael
05:47Address?
05:49The Glen Hall apartment 780 North Gower Street
05:53Age?
05:55Oh, well, would you mind putting down over 21?
05:58Ah!
05:59Ah!
06:00Over 21?
06:02Way over!
06:04Ah!
06:05Ah!
06:06Ah!
06:07Ah!
06:08i'm a high school graduate and i have two years of business college almost perhaps we should give
06:15you an aptitude test to find out the type of work for which you're qualified all right now this
06:21will be a word association test i'll mention a word and then you say whatever word pops into
06:25your head summer winter hot cold legs walk hair dye i just used a little henna
06:37lift up carry grant carry grant yeah what type of job would an answer like that qualify you for
06:51i don't know but it's nice work if you can get it well i've had all kinds of answers from applicants
06:58but carry grant yeah well i wouldn't mind working for him in any capacity and you know these days he
07:03could use a babysitter say would you like to do some babysitting oh i sure would does carry grant
07:11need a babysitter no no no this is a wonderful babysitting job i don't know why i didn't think
07:15of it before oh now there are three children and it pays five dollars per hour per child
07:21with a guarantee of three hours oh wow that's 45 dollars i'll take it well you can have it if you
07:29qualify oh well i i raised two children of my own they're away at school now oh you'll do just
07:35fine for this job thank you now uh the family name is winslow and it's at 1711 valley meadow road you'll
07:42be there at seven o'clock tonight yes ma'am i will and thank you very much you're welcome
07:47hello mrs winslow this is miss allman oh i have good news for you there'll be a babysitter
08:03there tonight at seven o'clock no i didn't tell her about the children i was afraid if i did she
08:10wouldn't take the job darling what time is the babysitter going to get here i told you before
08:21seven o'clock i hope this one stays long enough for us to get out of the house yes dear darling
08:27why don't we ever hire an animal trainer instead of a babysitter an animal train yes dear after all
08:34they are chimpanzees and chimpanzees are animals they're just as human as you are yes dear oh that
08:42must be the babysitter i'll get i'll get it you round up the children yes dear
08:47welcome to come in thank you
08:54oh my what a lovely room well it's a little messy just now the children have been playing in here all
09:05day i understand my they certainly have a lot of nice toys oh and that wonderful tree children love
09:11to climb trees especially ours they could climb before they could walk they sound like very unusual
09:19children yes they are what are their names their names are danny charlie and bobby oh how wonderful
09:27three boys no no no no bobby is short for roberta oh roberta is the baby now she'll require a little
09:33extra attention of course naturally now she has to be in bed by 7 30 she sleeps here in the crib
09:39that's her nightgown the milk and the cereal over here the boys sleep back here in these bunk beds
09:46bunk beds are wonderful yes and these are their pajamas uh aren't the sleeves uh a little long
09:53no not for them now the baby likes to be rocked and sung to at bedtime do you know any lullabies
10:03uh yes uh does she like uh rock-a-bye baby in the treetops oh she loves the part about the treetop
10:09in fact she likes all kinds of music she likes rock and roll dixieland boogie woogie
10:15well for a baby she sounds like a real swinger they're all swingers oh that's why we have the tree
10:23yeah i can hardly wait to meet the little darlings oh here they come now
10:29are they cute
10:54well yes they're cute all right but aren't they a little unusual looking yeah they're monkeys
11:03you said that i didn't so that's why this babysitting job pays so well huh yes you're not
11:10gonna back out are you uh no i i can use the money good well let's get going jonathan yes yeah
11:18good boys come along we'll be back right after the movie come on
11:23hello bobby hello are you charlie danny come here danny hello there fella hello there hey hey there fellas
11:48are you are you supposed to ride a bicycle in the house are you sure about that charlie
12:04hey are you sure
12:06come here come here charlie come here charlie charlie charlie
12:14now bett oh boys honestly
12:17oh boys please stick that in your mouth
12:23now boys you mustn't fight like this
12:28danny sit up here in the chair
12:30dad charlie leave him alone
12:32oh honestly
12:34do you hate that
12:36charlie charlie
12:39danny get up here in the chair
12:40danny let go of charlie
12:43oh boy
12:45danny will you get up there charlie shame on you
12:49charlie
12:49listen you
12:53get up there
12:54charlie hand up your hat and get over there to the table
12:58get up there to the table get over there to your chair
13:00you sit right down there
13:02oh
13:03danny come over here
13:06get over there in your chair
13:09and you sit down put your hat on your head
13:11stay where you are
13:13you hear me
13:14i'm gonna get you
13:14i don't know if it's worth the 45 dollars
13:32all right
13:33oh
13:34boy you're something
13:38you're really something
13:39you three
13:40all right finish finish finish
13:45turn around turn around
13:45sit up in the chair
13:46give me your hat on
13:51you look better
13:52listen
13:56i forgot i gotta burp you
13:57bobby
13:59bobby
14:01bobby you've got to be burped
14:02bobby you can't break the whole thing
14:06bobby
14:08oh
14:11boy
14:13bobby
14:14now look it's either you or me
14:16bobby
14:18if you don't mind
14:19that's for the kid
14:20just keep your own
14:22oh
14:23here
14:24open your mouth
14:26she's never gonna let go of the bottle
14:29i might as well give it to you
14:30chew for a while
14:33bobby
14:35you gotta be burped kid
14:36you gotta be burped
14:37every baby has to be burped
14:38just a minute
14:44now up you go
14:45oh
14:47that was a beauty
14:53yeah yeah
14:54that was a beauty
14:55listen turn on the television
14:57turn it on
14:58see what we got on there
14:59wait leave some leave some
15:05oh danny
15:06he ate it all up
15:07i'm sorry
15:07i'm sorry
15:08do you love me
15:10do you love me
15:13i love you dear
15:16but i can't leave my husband
15:18why not
15:19oh oh oh
15:20oh charlie
15:21turn it off
15:22turn it off charlie
15:23you're too young for Peyton Blaze
15:24look you gotta go to sleep
15:34you know it's way past your bedtimes too
15:36i haven't even got the baby to sleep yet
15:38all right now listen
15:39behave yourselves
15:40behave yourselves
15:41i'm going over here and sing to the baby
15:43oh
15:46bobby you gotta go to sleep
15:48you just gotta go to sleep sweetheart
15:50you just gotta go
15:51boys please
15:52please charlie come here
15:53charlie come here
15:54charlie
15:55charlie
15:56charlie come here
15:57i don't want you riding that now
15:59come here
15:59now you stay right here
16:00sit down
16:01now just stay there for a second
16:03you hear me
16:03okay
16:04just stay there
16:05rockabye baby
16:08on the treetop
16:10when the wind blows
16:12the cradle will rock
16:14when the bow breaks
16:16the cradle
16:17is that a commentary on my singing
16:23what do you mean with that
16:25look a barbara streisand i'm not
16:28when the bow breaks
16:31the cradle will fall
16:33and down will come baby
16:35crazy
16:36all right
16:37all right
16:38you don't want me to sing
16:39i'll play
16:39i'll play
16:40all right
16:41you got it
16:41i got your message kid
16:42come on
16:43oh boy
16:44hey
16:47oh come on now
17:06all right
17:21all right charlie
17:21you think you can do any better
17:22you play
17:23bobby i wish you'd go to sleep
17:26well charlie
17:50that was wonderful
17:52oh not gin again
18:02listen all right
18:04we've had it
18:05now come on
18:05you two boys
18:06oh philips
18:08now stop it
18:10i never saw such goings on
18:13will you stop the monkey business
18:16oh watch it lucy
18:17you're cracking up
18:18hey
18:20danny
18:22will you go outside please
18:24danny
18:26charlie
18:27charlie
18:30get out there
18:31wash up
18:32go on out there
18:32wash up
18:33oh fellas
18:34come here
18:36boy
18:38can you get outside
18:39wash up
18:40charlie
18:42now stop it
18:43come on
18:46now you're going to bed young lady
19:11you're going to get right down there in that bed right now do you hear me
19:14it's way past your bed time
19:16now lie down
19:18how are you doing what
19:22oh
19:23oh
19:24is her saying her prayers
19:28oh
19:29what a darling little baby
19:36she said her prayers
19:38yeah
19:39she said her prayers
19:41now
19:43oh
19:47oh
19:49oh
19:51oh
19:53oh
19:55oh
19:56boys
19:57please
19:58come on now
20:00please
20:00danny
20:02charlie
20:03get down on that tree
20:05get down on that tree
20:07charlie
20:08charlie
20:09for heaven's sake
20:10you've got to go to bed
20:12do you understand
20:13danny come here
20:15charlie
20:16get down on that tree
20:17do you hear me
20:18you've got to go to bed
20:19i brought up
20:20charlie come here
20:21charlie come here
20:23come on charlie
20:26no danny you don't sleep in this bed
20:34honestly i'll go with the baby
20:45charlie when you get down on that tree
20:51you've got to go to bed
20:53now come on
20:54come on now
20:55charlie
20:56charlie
20:57charlie please get down on that tree
20:59you've got to go to bed
21:06what are you doing there
21:08oh i'm sorry i tried to get them to bed
21:14don't apologize
21:16you're better than any babysitter we've had
21:18you're still here
21:19yes
21:20you're still here
21:21yes you're still here
21:22as a matter of fact
21:23i want my sister to meet you
21:25she's having a lot of trouble getting a sitter for her baby
21:27oh
21:28is her baby a monkey too
21:29of course not
21:31you can see for yourself
21:32hey sis
21:33come on in
21:34bring the baby with you
21:35oh my god
21:52how about
21:56The End
Recommended
25:18
|
Up next
49:24
47:08
0:22
1:30
1:00
22:28
Be the first to comment