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00:00The Lucy Show
00:10Starring Lucille Ball
00:17Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30It's 10.30, where have you been?
00:49Oh, everywhere, this certainly has been a busy morning
00:52Don't give me that
00:55Now was the moment you came to work
00:58Yes, sir
00:59Yes, sir
01:01Where are you going?
01:18Mrs. Tom
01:19If you are ready, I would like you to take some dictation
01:24Yes, sir, I'm ready
01:25I have to get a note out with these contracts that I have to get out this morning
01:28Now then, this note goes to Mr. John Wayne
01:32John Wayne
01:33Mrs. Tom Michael
01:40Mr. Wayne is a client
01:42And when I dictate correspondence to him
01:44I wish you would refrain from going
01:46I can't help it, he's my all-time favorite
01:51Nevertheless, I wish you wouldn't fall apart every time I mention his name
01:55I just wish he was here to pick up the pieces
01:57I am not interested in whom you would like to be picked up by
02:03Now, Mrs. Carmichael, let's get busy, please
02:06Will you sit down? You can't take dictation standing up, I can say
02:09Yes, sir
02:09All right, now then, are you ready?
02:11Yes, sir
02:12All right
02:12Dear Mr. Wayne
02:14Dear Mr. Wayne
02:16Enclosed herewith is the movie script you sent us
02:20Along with the final contracts regarding our financing of your current production
02:25The one about the war wagon
02:27The war wagon?
02:30Yes
02:30What's a war wagon?
02:32Well, it's a large armored wagon
02:34And in this picture, it's transporting gold across dangerous, hostile territory
02:39Oh, are there Indians in it?
02:42Yes
02:42Who else is in the picture with you?
02:43I don't know, let's get on with the dictation, please
02:45I haven't finished the note
02:46He always gets the girl, doesn't he?
02:48Yes
02:48That's good, then
02:49The girl's usually Maureen O'Hara, you know
02:51I'd like to be in it
02:54Just take that
02:55Yes, I have
02:56Now, let me see
02:56Yes, we are very pleased to participate in a venture that has already made your company so prosperous
03:03Prosperous?
03:07Yes, prosperous
03:08Couldn't we just say rich?
03:12Mrs. Carmichael, if you don't know how to spell prosperous, you can look it up in the dictionary
03:17Well, you have to know how to spell it before you can look it up
03:20Besides, I think Mr. Wayne would say rich, I don't think he'd say prosperous
03:25Oh?
03:27Well, now, maybe Mr. Wayne would say rich
03:30All right, put down rich, then sign it, if yours, truly, such and such
03:34Yes, sir
03:34Mr. Mooney
03:36Mm-hmm?
03:36Instead of signing the letter, yours truly
03:39I think Mr. Wayne would like it better if she said something like
03:43Until our trails cross again
03:46May your grazing be the greenest
03:49And your waterhole never run dry
03:52I remain yours till the feathers of the red man turn gray
04:00And sign it, your bronco-busting buckaroo Tex Mooney
04:05And how would I send it?
04:09Pony Express?
04:12Well, I just thought that you...
04:13Never mind, Mr. Carmichael, just sign it yours truly and sign Theodore J. Mooney
04:18All right
04:18Oh, here
04:19These are the contracts that go with the note
04:21I want you to take them to the studio immediately
04:23Oh, yes, sir
04:25Yes, sir, I'll see that Mr. Wayne gets them personally
04:27Oh, no, you don't
04:30Just take them to the entrance and leave them with the receptionist
04:33But, Mr. Mooney, it wouldn't be any trouble at all
04:35My girlfriend, Mary Jane, works at that studio and I could have lunch with her
04:39No, Mrs. Carmichael, just leave them with the receptionist
04:42And don't bother Mr. Wayne
04:44Hi, Mary Jane
04:53Oh, Mary Jane, I just saw some Indians
04:59Oh, gee, look at all these wonderful costumes
05:04Oh, it must be fun working in a studio with all kinds of glamorous stars around all the time
05:10Yeah, it is fun
05:11Hi, Bill
05:12Hi, Ed
05:13Hi, Mary Jane
05:15Oh, hi, Ed
05:16Ed, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine who's the Carmichael
05:19This is Ed Nelson
05:20Doesn't that hurt?
05:22Not me
05:23But it sure bothers my wife when we're dancing
05:26That's funny
05:31Oh, that's funny
05:33Hi, Mary Jane
05:34Oh, hi
05:35Oh, that was Burt Lancaster, wasn't it?
05:38Oh, no, Lucy
05:39That's Mr. Simon
05:40He's the director
05:41Oh, sure looked like Burt Lancaster
05:44Hi, Mary Jane
05:45Hi
05:46Oh, I recognize him
05:49That's Richard Chamberlain
05:51Oh, Lucy, that's the studio doctor
05:54Oh, really?
06:11Who was that, the janitor?
06:14That was Milton Berle
06:16Milton Berle?
06:18Oh, for heaven's sake
06:19Wait till I tell the girls
06:20I nearly saw Milton Berle
06:23Really, Milton Berle?
06:25Listen, honey
06:26Oh, Lucy
06:26We have to order
06:27You're going to be late getting back to work
06:29Oh, I don't care if I am late getting back to work
06:31I'm still so mad at Mr. Mooney
06:33For insisting that I leave those contracts with a receptionist
06:36You'd think a man would understand
06:39How much a woman would like to meet John Wayne personally
06:42Yes, you certainly would
06:43You know John Wayne?
06:45Not personally
06:46Well, then I think I'll introduce you
06:49Do you know it?
06:51No, but I will when I give him these contracts
06:54Lucy, I thought you gave those to the receptionist
06:58Not on your life
07:00You think I was going to give up a chance like this?
07:02I'm going to give these to Mr. Wayne personally
07:04Now, do you think he'll be in here for lunch?
07:06Well, he usually is
07:08But sometimes he has lunch in his dressing room
07:10Oh, really?
07:11Hi, Mary Jane
07:11Oh, hi, Joy
07:12Hey, Joy
07:13Yeah?
07:13Do you know where Mr. Wayne is?
07:15No, I don't
07:15Anything I can do?
07:16Well, my friend's looking for him
07:18Oh?
07:18Yes, I work in the bank
07:20And I have some very important contracts for Mr. Wayne
07:23Oh, yes, we've been expecting those
07:25Thank you so much
07:27That's the receptionist
07:31The receptionist?
07:32Oh, no
07:33Hi, honey
07:56Hello
07:58I thought you didn't know him
08:00I don't
08:01Well, he said hello to you
08:03At least there's a hello to everybody
08:05He called you Honey
08:06He doesn't know my name
08:08Gee, that's even better than a name
08:12Oh, if he ever called me Honey
08:14Wow
08:14Very friendly
08:16Oh, he's so nice
08:18Mary Jane
08:18You want it on the phone
08:19Oh, okay
08:20Here's your usual, Mr. Wayne
08:22Thank you
08:23Oh, bring me some ketchup
08:25Right
08:26There you are, sir
08:35Thank you
08:36Anything else I can get for you, sir?
08:38No, I'm fine
08:39Howdy
08:40Hi
08:44I'm Lucy Carmichael
08:46Oh, well
08:48I'm John Wayne
08:51Oh, I know you are
08:55Oh, it's nice meeting you, Mr. Wayne
09:00I work at the bank
09:02And I brought some contracts over here for you today
09:04Well, thank you
09:05I thought about bringing them to you in person
09:08But I realized that you're a very busy man
09:10And I didn't want to bother you
09:11Oh, I'm never that busy
09:13Yeah, well, whether you're busy or not
09:14I just thought there's no reason for people to bother you
09:17And that's why I left the contracts outside with the receptionist
09:21So I wouldn't bother you
09:22Well, that's very considerate
09:23It must be very bothersome
09:25People bothering you all the time
09:28Like when they ask you for your autograph and everything
09:30Well, I never considered that a bother
09:32Oh, can I have your autograph?
09:35Oh, of course
09:36Thank you
09:38Uh, did you bring a piece of paper?
09:43No
09:43Oh, I didn't want to bother you, but I
09:46Oh, could you, uh
09:47Could you maybe put it on the back of this?
09:50Well, this is a page out of my script
09:52Oh, I would love to have a page out of your script
09:55Well, it's
09:56I would love that
09:57Would you care for something?
10:02Well, would you like something?
10:04Well, just a cup of coffee if it's no bother
10:06Oh
10:07Now then, just say to my dear friend Lucy Carmichael
10:13To my dear friend Lucy?
10:17Carmichael
10:18C-A-R-M-I-C-H-A-E-L
10:20I always spell it for people because sometimes they spell it E-A-L
10:24And we have the Scotch clan spelling A-E-L
10:27My maiden name used to be McGillicuddy
10:30That's how Scotch I am
10:31Um, let's see
10:34Who I enjoyed having lunch with in person
10:37I mean you in person, not me
10:42Who I enjoyed having lunch with in person
10:46Uh, together
10:48Today
10:49Alone
10:49Together
10:52Dash
10:52Today
10:53Dash
10:53Alone
10:54Together
10:55Today
10:56Alone
10:57Alone
10:57Yes, now if you just put the date down there in the corner
11:00The date?
11:00Yeah, when I get back to the bank I'm going to have it notarized
11:03Notarized?
11:06Yeah, well I'll never believe this back home
11:09Thank you so much
11:11Oh, I'll cherish this
11:12Thank you
11:13You know, Mr. Wayne
11:16I watch all of your old pictures on television
11:19Do you?
11:20And even though I know you started out quite a long time ago
11:23You still look so handsome and so young
11:26Well, thank you
11:27I'd like to have that notarized
11:28Well, it's true
11:30Most actors don't look anything like they do in their old pictures on television
11:34You know what I think ages them?
11:37What?
11:38Staying up all night watching their old movies on television
11:41Oh, you're funny
11:49You know, I think I've seen every picture you ever made
11:52Really?
11:53Mm-hmm
11:53Some of them eight or ten times
11:55Well, thank you
11:55That's very nice
11:56Oh, you know you were such a sensational army general
11:59In a picture called
12:00Cast a Giant Shadow
12:02An army general
12:04And what a dashing naval officer you were
12:06And in harm's way
12:08Remember that?
12:09Yes
12:09Yeah, did you enjoy making that?
12:11Very much
12:12Did John Ford direct it?
12:13No, he didn't direct it
12:15He directs most of your pictures, doesn't he?
12:16Yes, he does
12:17And most of the time you have Maureen O'Hara in your pictures
12:20That's right, yeah
12:21She has beautiful red hair
12:23Yeah
12:24You know something?
12:27You were the greatest marine of all time
12:30In the sands of Iwo Jima
12:32Just the greatest
12:33Well, thank you
12:34Gee, you've been in every branch of the service
12:37No wonder we won the war
12:39Well, I know
12:39I never thought of it that way
12:42Yeah, you've been in the service so long
12:44I think Bob Hope should play a Christmas show just for you
12:47I'm having a little trouble with that
12:55Here, let me help
12:55I'm terribly sorry
13:02Here, let me help you
13:04No, don't help
13:05Please
13:05Oh, I'm terribly sorry
13:06Well, Miss Carmichael
13:07I think that I'd better get back to the dressing room
13:10And study my lines
13:11Oh, I'm terribly sorry, mister
13:13Oh, here, you haven't even touched your seat
13:15Well, I'll take it with me
13:16Oh, okay
13:17Oh, and Mr. Wayne
13:19Here
13:19You might want that
13:21Where it belongs
13:22Now, Lucy
13:37They don't usually allow visitors on the set, honey
13:40But I'll talk to the assistant director
13:42Oh, Brian
13:43Oh, hello, Mary Jane
13:45Hi
13:45Listen, Brian
13:46This is my friend, Lucy Carmichael
13:48How do you do?
13:48And she wants to see John Wayne shoot
13:51Well, we don't usually allow visitors on the set
13:53Well, I told her that
13:54I'm a personal friend of Mr. Wayne's
13:57As a matter of fact, I just had lunch with him
13:59Oh, well, in that case, I guess it will be all right
14:02Oh, good
14:03Thank you
14:03And I'll see you later
14:05Have fun
14:06Okay, places, everyone getting ready to roll, huh?
14:10John, you ready?
14:13I was born ready
14:14That's okay
14:15Oh, lady
14:17Oh, lady
14:18Would you mind stepping over a bit?
14:21Oh, you're right in front of my camera
14:23Oh
14:23Oh, that's a cat
14:25Excuse me
14:30All right, now
14:32All right, let's get ready
14:34Roll it
14:35War of Harkin Company, scene 53, take one
14:39Action
14:42Tall, we better get out of here
15:06This place is loaded with Paris' men
15:08The way I look at it
15:10This place is loaded with two of our men
15:13But, Tall, there's ten of Paris' men here
15:15And there's only two of us
15:16Couldn't we pick a time when the odds are more even?
15:18Okay, let's wait around until six or more
15:22Paris' men come in
15:23Ha-ha, you tell them, that's right
15:25Who's that?
15:32Someone the bank sent over not to bother me
15:34Is she a friend of yours?
15:36Seems that way
15:37Look, I want absolute quiet on the set
15:42Quiet!
15:43Absolute quiet!
15:45Ah!
15:46Oh, my, that is a hot light
15:49Oh, my, did you have a lot of those hot lights around here like that?
15:57Yes, yes, lady
15:57Oh, I didn't know that
15:58Yes, you see, we have them all over the set
16:00If you look right around, we have them
16:01Well, you have to be careful where you stand
16:03Yes, I will, thank you
16:04Now, look, and I must ask you, please
16:05Don't react that way off camera
16:07Oh, I've got something to tell you
16:09That's the way they're going to react
16:11To Mr. Wayne all over the country
16:13In every theater that he plays in
16:16Yes, I hope so
16:17You better just get used to it
16:18When they hear a line like that
16:20They say, yeah, yeah, yeah
16:21Yes, but that's, again, the theater, ma'am
16:23Here on this set
16:24We can't have that
16:25You see, all these actors have to be able to concentrate
16:27Oh, well, let them get used to it
16:29Because if they're in a Wayne picture
16:30They're in the best
16:31And that's the way he feels to react
16:33Yes, you're right
16:34You're right, and that's what we want
16:36But you'll help us a great deal
16:37If you'll just take it easy, right?
16:39I'll take it easy
16:39Just don't get too upset
16:40I react the way I feel
16:41Watch out for those hot lights
16:44John, Burt Lancaster's shooting on the next stage
16:49Couldn't you send her over there?
16:51Why?
16:51Burt's never done anything to me
16:53Well, all right
16:56If you want to let her stay around
16:57All right
16:59Races, everybody
17:00We'll pick it up for Mr. Wayne's last line
17:03Rowling
17:04Scene 54, take one
17:06Action
17:09Okay, let's wait around
17:12Until six more of Pierce's men show up
17:15Howdy, Pierce
17:30Howdy, tall
17:37Been a long time
17:41Yeah
17:42Been a long time
17:46You melt off like that again
17:51And you'll be a dead man
17:53Cut, cut, cut
17:58I didn't do anything
17:58I didn't move
17:59John, I think you skipped some dialogue
18:02Oh, wait a minute
18:03Let's take a look
18:04What's that, blood?
18:06No, ketchup
18:06Well, no wonder I missed it
18:10There's a page missing
18:11Oh, a page missing
18:12Oh, oh, maybe that's my fault
18:14Perhaps this is a page
18:15That you gave me out of your script
18:17Is that the one?
18:17That's the one
18:18Well, uh, let's see now
18:20You're supposed to say
18:20Here you and your boy's been looking for
18:22You said that, didn't you?
18:23And he says
18:24That's right, Todd
18:24And you say
18:25Well, now you can stop looking
18:26And start talking
18:27And he says
18:28Reckon I ain't fixing
18:29To be seen talking
18:31To no jailbird
18:32And then you say
18:34You mouth off like that again
18:35You'll be a dead man
18:36Oh, I got it
18:36I'll remember it now
18:37Listen, Mr. Wayne
18:38I, uh, I think it would be better
18:41If you said
18:41You mouth off like that again
18:44And you'll be pushing up daisies
18:46Pushing up daisies
18:47Now, please, miss
18:49We've got
18:49Wait a minute, Joe
18:50I like pushing up daisies better
18:53All right
18:54Pushing up daisies
18:55You want to rehearse it once?
18:58Yeah, let's rehearse it
18:58No, let's roll it
18:59I know what I got
19:00Okay, roll it
19:01Go ahead, roll it
19:02No, go on, roll it
19:03Hey, John
19:04You sure you don't want to clear this set?
19:06I hate to blow this scene
19:07Well, I'd rather blow a scene
19:09Than lose a fan
19:10That's why he's been up there
19:13On top so long
19:14Thank you, man
19:16That's the kind of a man he is
19:23Yeah
19:23I mean, all of his fans know
19:26Mr. Wayne
19:27He knows that about him
19:30Oh, yeah, yeah
19:31Everybody knows that about him
19:32Yeah, all right
19:34Place his room
19:35Team 55, take one
19:37Action
19:39Action
19:42Here you and the boys
19:43Have been looking for me, Pierce
19:45That's right, tall
19:48Well, now you can stop looking
19:51And start talking
19:52Well, I reckon I ain't
19:57Fixing da beach scene
19:59Talking to no jailbird
20:01Bring your mouth off like that again
20:11And you'll be pushing up
20:13Daisy
20:13What?
20:13He's putting it
20:14He forgot his line
20:17He forgot his line
20:21I don't blame you for forgetting
20:23It's new
20:23It's brand new
20:24I just gave it to you
20:25Then you say
20:25You mouth off like that again
20:27You'll be a dead man
20:28That's what it was
20:28You're supposed to say
20:29You'll be pushing up daisies
20:31I was just taking a long pause for a fact
20:34Oh, I thought he forgot his line
20:37Okay, roll him
20:39Go ahead
20:40All right, roll him
20:43Team 56, take one
20:45Action
20:48You mouth off like that again
20:52And you'll be pushing up daisies
20:54If you're looking for trouble, tall
20:57I got plenty of boys
21:00That can give it to you
21:02Well, I'll let you make the first move
21:04But you better remember
21:06Maybe you're last
21:07Oh, now, tall
21:11Me and the boys
21:12Didn't mean nothing
21:13Personal
21:14Take him, boys
21:15Yeah
21:16Look out
21:22What are you trying to do, lady?
21:31I saw her give him a knife
21:32I saw her give him a knife
21:34He took a knife to Mr. Wayne
21:36Well, I know that we're just trying to
21:38Look at her standing there
21:39With that silly smirk on her face
21:41We were trying to shoot a picture
21:43Well, you go ahead and shoot a picture
21:44But you make sure that he doesn't get hurt
21:46Good heavens, I've never seen such brutality
21:48They were rough
21:49Lady
21:50Nobody here is going to hurt me
21:53These are all my friends
21:55Why, actually, this fellow and I
21:57Started together 20 years ago
22:00Yeah, way over 20
22:02Never mind
22:03Now, just try and control yourself
22:07Hey, makeup
22:08They certainly didn't look very friendly to me
22:10You know, I've seen
22:12As I told you, Mr. Wayne
22:13I've seen practically every picture you ever made
22:15Here, let me take that
22:16And I tell you what
22:17I noticed in every picture
22:19That they sort of gang up on you
22:21You're always outnumbered
22:23You always have a tough time of it
22:25And I don't think it's right
22:26I just don't think it's fair
22:27Thank you
22:30Thank you
22:31We all thank you, lady
22:32But we're trying to shoot a fight scene
22:33Not a beauty contest
22:35Well, then, you just be very careful of him
22:37Remember, he's a star
22:38Yeah, fellas
22:42Be real careful of me
22:43Remember, I'm a star
22:45All right, star
22:49Let's get back to work, huh?
22:50Now, look, John
22:51This time I want you to take one of these blood capsules
22:53Put it in your mouth
22:54Bite down on it during the fight
22:55So you get a good shot of the blood, huh?
22:56Okay
22:57I just had no idea that they were so rough
23:00He could really get hurt
23:01I've seen Mr. Wayne get hurt plenty of times
23:04You have?
23:05Sure
23:05Sometimes those stuntmen are so anxious to make things look good
23:08That they get carried away
23:10I'll say they do
23:11And I think this is one of the times they got carried away
23:13All right, folks
23:13A very important scene
23:15I want it to go well
23:16So quiet!
23:17Quiet!
23:18Quiet!
23:20Let's have it quiet
23:21All right
23:24Well, that's the action where Chuck gets the knife from Helen, right?
23:26You ready?
23:27Make it good, gang
23:28Rolling!
23:30Scene 57, take one
23:32Action!
23:35Oh, my God!
23:37Oh, my God!
23:39Oh, my God!
23:41He's bleeding!
23:43He's bleeding!
23:45He's bleeding!
23:53Oh!
23:55He'll kill me all right, I'm sure.
24:05All right. All right, Lee, that's all. Now you're going to have to leave.
24:18Oh, why should I leave? I'm Mr. Wayne's this fan. I didn't mean to hurt him. I didn't mean to do him any harm.
24:25Stay coming, Mr. Wayne.
24:27Goodbye, Lee.
24:30He called me, Andy. He called me, Andy.
24:35Goodbye, Lee.
25:05Goodbye, Lee.
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