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00:00The
00:10Show
00:14Starring Lucille Ball
00:18Co-starry, Gail Gordon
00:48You can relax, Lucy. It's only me.
01:07Oh, Mary Jane. I thought it was Mr. Mooney. I want him to think I was working.
01:12Yeah, well, you'll never fool him that way.
01:14Why not?
01:15You haven't got any paper in the typewriter.
01:18Hey, did you see this afternoon's paper?
01:20No, why?
01:21Stacy's department store is having a big sale.
01:24Really?
01:25Oh, wow. They're really having a sale.
01:28Everything's more than half off.
01:30Yeah, half off. That bikini on that model looks it.
01:34Oh, that is a beauty. I'd love to have that bikini.
01:38Oh, Lucy, would you wear a bikini like that on a public beach?
01:42No, but I'd hang it on my clothesline. That ought to get me some action.
01:46See, everything's on sale. Appliances, clothes, furniture.
01:52Uh-oh.
01:53What?
01:54The sale is for one day only. Tomorrow.
01:56So?
01:57So I have to work tomorrow.
01:59Well, so do I, but I'm gonna tell my boss I've got a toothache.
02:03Why don't you tell Mr. Mooney you have to go to the dentist?
02:06No. I tried that a few times, and Mr. Mooney always insists on going to the dentist with me.
02:11You are cute.
02:13Yep. Yep, so far I've had three perfectly good teeth pulled.
02:20If I do it anymore, I won't have a tooth in my head.
02:23Well, why don't you tell him you've got the mumps?
02:26Oh, no. I told him I'm sick too often. He'd just never believe me.
02:31He'd believe you if he saw you getting sick.
02:34What do you mean?
02:35While you're working this afternoon, act sick.
02:39You know, moan, groan, cry a little.
02:42Well, that won't work. I do that every week when he gives me my salary.
02:47But, Lucy, if he sees you getting sick right here in this office, he'll insist that you go home.
02:53Well, now, Mr. Mooney, he's not easy to fool.
02:56He's a man, isn't he?
02:57Yeah.
02:58Well, then he's easy to fool.
03:00If you play it smart, you see, you don't say you're sick.
03:04You just act sick.
03:05And then when he suggests you go home, you refuse.
03:09Refuse?
03:10Then when you refuse to go home, he'll insist you go home.
03:14He'll insist?
03:15Believe me, when Mr. Mooney sees you suffering, he's got to sympathize with you.
03:19After all, he's human.
03:22Let's not make any snap judgments.
03:26Well, it's worth a try.
03:27All right.
03:28I'll give it a try.
03:29I really would love to go shopping.
03:31You know, I need a new refrigerator.
03:33What's the matter of the one you got?
03:35Well, you know, it has a capacity of 14 cubic feet, right?
03:39Yeah.
03:40Yeah, well, I got one foot of food and 13 feet of frost.
03:45Everything frosts up.
03:46Everything?
03:47Yeah.
03:48Tonight for dinner, I'm having a spaghetti popsicle.
03:51Oh.
03:52Would you like to join me?
03:53See you later.
03:54Okay.
03:55Well, if I can fool Mr. Mooney.
03:57Don't worry.
03:58It'll work.
03:59Do what I said.
04:00All right.
04:06Mr. Wilson and Russ.
04:08Yes, sir.
04:09Wilson and Russ.
04:10Gentlemen, regarding your inquiry of the 15th, I think the loan...
04:14Ah!
04:15Can you say something, Mrs. Carmichael?
04:17No, sir.
04:18Oh.
04:19I think the loan can be arranged on the following terms.
04:21Ah!
04:22Ah!
04:23Mrs. Carmichael, are you all right?
04:24Ah.
04:25Oh, yes, sir.
04:26Yes, sir.
04:27Ah.
04:28How about that?
04:29Oh, following term.
04:30The principal will be paid over a period of 20 years.
04:32Ah!
04:33Are you sure you're all right?
04:34Ah.
04:35Oh, yes, sir.
04:36Yes, sir.
04:37All right.
04:38How about that?
04:39Oh, following term.
04:40The principal will be paid over a period of 20 years.
04:42Ah!
04:43I...
04:44Ah!
04:45Ah!
04:46Ah!
04:47Ah!
04:48Ah!
04:49Ah!
04:50Are you sure you're all right?
04:52Oh, yes, yes.
04:53I feel f-f-f-fine.
04:55Oh!
04:56Well, then, Patrick, I can rest for a while.
04:58Oh, no.
04:59No, sir.
05:00There's work to be done.
05:01Oh.
05:02All right, then.
05:03Let's get on with it.
05:04Ah!
05:05Oh, yeah.
05:06Payments will be made semi-annually on the 1st of January,
05:09and on the 1st of July...
05:12Fine.
05:13Here.
05:14Here.
05:15On.
05:16On.
05:17Mrs. Carmichael, are you in pain?
05:20No.
05:21Is it constant pain?
05:24No.
05:25Only when I breathe.
05:26Well, maybe you'd like to go home.
05:31Oh, no.
05:32No, I'd rather stay.
05:33Let's just keep on working.
05:35I feel much better when I'm working.
05:36It takes my mind off the pain.
05:38Oh.
05:39Now, are you quite sure you want to continue working?
05:41Oh, yes, sir.
05:42I'll be all right.
05:43Oh.
05:44All right.
05:45Where was I?
05:4615th January.
05:47Oh, yes.
05:48Should a payment be missed, there will be a forfeiture penalty.
05:50Ah!
05:51I can't hold the pencil.
05:54What's the matter with it?
05:55What's the matter with it?
05:56It's stuck.
05:57It's having a spasm.
05:58Mrs. Carmichael, you are real.
06:01Oh.
06:02Let me feel your forehead.
06:04No fever?
06:05No?
06:06No?
06:07Let me see your tongue.
06:11Looks all right.
06:12Let me look at those eyes.
06:14Oh.
06:15I hope whatever it is isn't contagious.
06:21Well, let's continue with the dictation.
06:23I'll write with my left hand.
06:25Mrs. Carmichael, please.
06:26Go home.
06:27Go home.
06:28No, I want to stay.
06:29I want to stay.
06:30I want to work.
06:31I want to work.
06:32I want to work.
06:33Mrs. Carmichael, I think you ought to go home.
06:35No, I want to stay.
06:36I want to stay.
06:37Mrs. Carmichael, I insist that you go home.
06:40Oh, well, if you insist.
06:44Thank you very much, Mr. Mooney.
06:46You're very thoughtful.
06:47Don't mention it.
06:48Don't mention it.
06:49And if you don't feel well tomorrow, don't.
06:51Come back to work.
06:52No, I won't.
06:53I won't.
06:54I won't.
06:55Come back.
06:56Come back.
06:57Come back.
06:58Come back.
06:59Come back.
07:00Come back.
07:01Come back.
07:02Come back.
07:03Come back.
07:04Come back.
07:05Come back.
07:06Gather, gather, gather.
07:07Now remember, this is our biggest sale.
07:10And this is the zero hour.
07:12Hope you're all prepared for what's coming.
07:15Remember, those are customers out there.
07:18And they outnumber us by more than 50 to one.
07:22And I can assure you, they will show us no mercy.
07:26Good luck, everybody. To your post, to your post.
07:32They're here, they're here.
07:38Lucy! Lucy!
07:42Lucy!
07:43Oh, I haven't been mauled and crushed like that since my first blind date in high school.
07:49Oh, good heavens. Come on over here.
07:53Look, the Jiffy Automatic Stove. Set the timer and it turns itself on and off.
07:59How do you like that? You don't even have to be home to burn your dinner.
08:04Boy, cooking is so easy now. They've got instant cream, instant coffee, instant milk, instant this, instant that.
08:11Yeah, everything but instant money to pay for it.
08:15Oh, hey, I see the juicers I want over here.
08:18What? The orange juicer.
08:26What's so funny?
08:28Come here, look. Look at the name and the slogan.
08:31Little squeeze orange juicer. Men, make your wife happy. Give her a little squeeze in the kitchen.
08:39You get your little squeeze. I'm going to look around.
08:41Okay.
08:42Oh, miss. Miss. Miss. Miss. Miss.
08:46Miss. Miss. Miss. Miss. Mr.
09:08And why did you break that dish?
09:21Well, I'm sorry, but it said try our unbreakable dishes.
09:25So I just picked them up and I just tapped...
09:28You did it again.
09:32Well, for heaven's sake, why does it say unbreakable when they're breakable?
09:36Those are unbreakable.
09:39These are imported Chinese.
09:43Unbreakable?
09:45You should know.
09:48Is there the unbreakable?
09:50Guaranteed.
09:51Madam, there are 59 different departments in this store.
10:09Why did you have to come to this one?
10:11Never mind.
10:12Now, just what kind of dishes do you want?
10:15I don't want any dishes.
10:17You don't want dishes?
10:21No, I came in here to buy a refrigerator.
10:23The refrigerators are over there.
10:26Oh, well, thank you.
10:33Don't touch that!
10:35I got it!
10:38Because you are liable to break it.
10:40If you're interested in this model, I will demonstrate it for you.
10:45Now, this is the freezer unit with the automatic ice maker.
10:53The vegetable crisper, latest design.
10:56So is the meat freshener.
10:58Shelves slide in and out easily.
11:01It has a five-year guarantee.
11:04And it comes at the amazingly low sale price of only $2.99.
11:10$2.99.
11:13Yes.
11:13Is madam interested in making a purchase?
11:16Well, madam is, but madam's budget isn't.
11:19I'll have to think it over.
11:21I'll have your card in case I decide on anything.
11:24Very well.
11:31Hi!
11:32Oh, did you get your squeezer?
11:33Yeah.
11:33Did you find a refrigerator you like?
11:35Yeah, I found one I like.
11:37But it's $2.99.
11:39$2.99.
11:40Oh, that's a lot of money.
11:41But isn't that beautiful, Nancy?
11:43Yeah.
11:44And it's got all the newest gadgets.
11:46Yeah.
11:48Look.
11:52I knew it!
11:54I knew it!
11:55I knew it!
11:56Oh, I'm terribly sorry, Mr.
12:03Give me back my card!
12:07I don't want you to even know my name!
12:09I've got to know your name in case I decide to buy a refrigerator.
12:15I won't know whom to ask for.
12:16Good, good, good.
12:18Please, madam, just don't buy a refrigerator.
12:21Well, I...
12:22Eat warm food.
12:24Go to another department.
12:26I don't...
12:26Please, go, go, go!
12:29I don't get so emotional.
12:32No wonder they're having a sale.
12:34Everything's broken.
12:35No wonder they're having a sale.
12:36No wonder they're having a sale.
12:37No wonder they're having a sale.
12:38No wonder they're having a sale.
12:39No wonder they're having a sale.
12:40No wonder they're having a sale.
12:41No wonder they're having a sale.
12:42No wonder they're having a sale.
12:43No wonder they're having a sale.
12:44No wonder they're having a sale.
12:45No wonder they're having a sale.
12:46No wonder they're having a sale.
12:47No wonder they're having a sale.
12:48No wonder they're having a sale.
12:49No wonder they're having a sale.
12:50No wonder they're having a sale.
12:51No wonder they're having a sale.
12:52No wonder they're having a sale.
12:53No wonder they're having a sale.
12:54No wonder they're having a sale.
12:55No wonder they're having a sale.
12:56No wonder they're having a sale.
12:57You're the one.
13:20I didn't do anything.
13:21I didn't do anything.
13:23Yes, you did.
13:24What did I do?
13:25You just became our customer of the year.
13:27I did.
13:33You're a very lucky lady.
13:35Really?
13:36You're the 10 millionth customer to enter this department.
13:39And you've just received a great many valuable gifts.
13:42What did I get?
13:43What did I get?
13:44What did I get?
13:44Well, you got a set of golf clubs.
13:46Golf clubs?
13:47A set of luggage.
13:48A washing machine, a dryer, a dishwasher, a color television set.
13:53Oh, Liz.
13:54Heavens, the color television set.
13:56And this beautiful refrigerator completely stocked with food.
14:00A refrigerator.
14:01That's what I came in here to buy.
14:03That's what you came in to buy.
14:03A refrigerator.
14:04That's the one thing that I wanted to...
14:06You're a very lucky lady.
14:07Oh, I certainly am.
14:09Nothing like this ever happened to me.
14:10Oh, and you're lucky too, Mary Jane.
14:12I am.
14:13I'm going to give the color TV set to you.
14:16You're going to give it to me?
14:17Yes.
14:18But we'll keep it in my apartment.
14:21Guys, and you can come down and watch it any time you want.
14:24And you can eat from my completely stocked refrigerator.
14:28Would you please give me your name and address?
14:29Yes, Lucille Carmichael.
14:31Oh, where do I live?
14:32Where do I live?
14:32Gower Street, a Glen Hall apartment.
14:35Yes, 780 North Gower Street, Hollywood.
14:38And you're a housewife.
14:39Uh, I am.
14:40Oh, yes.
14:41Yes, I am.
14:42Yes.
14:43I do take care of my apartment, but I work during the day at the Westland Bank.
14:48A very fine bank.
14:49Oh, the best bank in town.
14:51You may quote me.
14:53Mrs. Carmichael, our photographer is here.
14:55Your photographer?
14:56Would you mind having your picture taken while I congratulate you?
14:59Oh, I didn't expect to have my picture taken today.
15:03Oh, my hair must be a mess.
15:06Good heavens, that bulb is so bright.
15:08All I can see is a big blue blob.
15:11Thank you, and congratulations again.
15:13Well, thank you.
15:17Your prizes will be delivered in a few days.
15:20Oh, oh, really?
15:21Oh, thank you very much.
15:22And remember to buy tomorrow's newspaper.
15:24Your picture will be in it, and a story all about you.
15:27Oh, really?
15:28Oh, I want to tell you the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me.
15:32You're very welcome.
15:33Oh, Lucille, your picture's going to be in the paper.
15:37Gee, I'll be famous.
15:38Everybody will see my picture.
15:40Mr. Mooney will be so proud.
15:42And when I...
15:42Oh, no.
15:47If Mr. Mooney sees my picture in the paper, he'll know I wasn't sick.
15:49Oh, maybe you'll get lucky and he won't read the paper.
15:52No chance.
15:52He reads it every morning the minute he gets in the office.
15:55Well, you've got to stop him from reading that paper.
15:57I know what I'll do.
15:58I'll hide his glasses.
15:59Good idea.
16:00No, it isn't.
16:01He doesn't wear glasses.
16:02I know.
16:03I'll get to the office before he does and get rid of the paper.
16:07Would you want me to call you and wake you up?
16:08Don't worry about it.
16:10I'll be awake all night.
16:11If he sees that paper, he'll kill me.
16:13Lucy, the most he can do is fire you.
16:16I know, Mr. Mooney.
16:17He'll kill me and then fire me.
16:42Forgive me, George, it isn't exactly a lie.
17:02George!
17:12I saw you in the middle of the night when I was in the middle of the night.
17:26The whole night was the night, so it was a nice day and day.
17:32I saw you in the middle of the night, but it was a nice day.
17:37Mr. Moody's office.
17:47Oh, hi, Mary Jane.
17:50Yes, I just hid it.
17:51No, he's not here yet.
17:54Well, thanks.
17:55Yeah, I just saw it.
17:56Yeah, yeah, I thought it was a nice picture.
17:58What wrinkle?
18:00That wasn't a wrinkle.
18:02Your paper was creased.
18:04I better hang up.
18:05I hear him coming.
18:07Oh, good morning, Mr. Moody.
18:15Good morning, Mrs. Carmichael.
18:17You know, you didn't have to come to work if you're ill.
18:20Oh, I'm not sick anymore.
18:23Well, there must be something the matter with you.
18:25You're early.
18:28No, I'm fine.
18:29I just figured as long as I was off yesterday,
18:31I should come in early today and catch up on all my work.
18:34Well, that's very commendable.
18:36Very commendable.
18:38What was the matter with you?
18:41I don't know, but I'm all right now.
18:44Good.
18:45Good.
18:51Mrs. Carmichael?
18:53Yes, Mr. Moody?
18:54Where's my newspaper?
18:55Where's your newspaper?
19:00It isn't here.
19:01It isn't here?
19:03Where is it?
19:04Where is it?
19:07Was your mother frightened by a parrot?
19:13Now, stop repeating everything I say and help me find my newspaper.
19:17Why don't you forget about your newspaper and let's just get to work.
19:22No, no, I just don't feel right unless I read my morning newspaper.
19:27I want to know what's going on in the world.
19:29Well, I'll tell you.
19:30The temperature's up, the stock market is down,
19:32and little orphan Annie's lost again.
19:35Mrs. Carmichael, will you stop being facetious
19:38and go out and buy me a newspaper?
19:40Oh, yes, sir.
19:49There are a lot of newspapers.
19:51You work with them.
19:53Yeah, Mr. Moody, you know, you read too much anyway.
19:55What?
19:56Yeah, you're always reading.
19:57You know, the bank reports, the stock market charts,
20:00and the fine print and the mortgage papers,
20:03and you're just straining your eyes.
20:04They're all bloodshot.
20:06My eyes are not bloodshot.
20:08How can you tell you're seeing them from the inside?
20:12Come on, Michael.
20:13I'm doing this for your own good, Mr. Moody.
20:16Really, you do.
20:17You work too hard.
20:18Rest your eyes for a change.
20:20It'll do you good.
20:21Well, maybe you're right.
20:24You know, I have been getting headaches lately.
20:25I know, I know.
20:27You've been getting headaches ever since I came to work for you.
20:33Oh, true.
20:34Oh, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't mean it that way.
20:38I, I don't think that they...
20:39Mrs. Carmichael, I appreciate your concern.
20:42All right, I'll skip the newspaper this morning.
20:44Good.
20:45Now, can we get to work?
20:47Yes, sir.
20:49Lucy?
20:50Oh, hello, Laurie.
20:51This picture of you is just wonderful.
20:54Goodbye, Laurie.
20:55The prizes you won.
20:57Yeah, goodbye, Laurie.
20:58Just a moment.
21:01What picture of you?
21:03Oh, it's nothing.
21:04Laurie was just going, weren't you, Laurie?
21:05She's going, but the papers say.
21:11Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
21:16Yeah, that's not my picture.
21:17Really, Mr. Moody, see, I got red hair.
21:19Their hair is black.
21:23So you were sick yesterday.
21:26Answer me!
21:27Were you sick?
21:29No, but I am now.
21:32And you played me for a sucker.
21:35No, I...
21:36And that act you put on pretending to be sick.
21:41Oh, my hand!
21:42I got on the bed.
21:44I was going to stay.
21:46I want to work.
21:47I want to work.
21:47And like a fool, I let you get away with it.
21:51I'm sorry, Mr. Moody.
21:52Sorry isn't enough.
21:54To begin with, you will not be paid for yesterday.
21:56And the only reason I don't fire you
21:58is because I'm such a sweet guy.
22:09You're a sweet guy.
22:11Yes, yes.
22:12Now, you get to work.
22:13And I don't want to hear another word
22:14about your sneaky endeavors.
22:17Yes, sir.
22:18Moody!
22:18Oh!
22:20Congratulations, old boy.
22:22You did it again.
22:24Oh, thank you.
22:26Mr. Cheever, sir.
22:27What did I do?
22:29Oh, playing it sly, huh?
22:31A little modest, huh?
22:34Westland Bank employee wins fabulous prizes.
22:38Oh, I tell you, this story about your secretary
22:39in the newspapers is the most wonderful publicity.
22:42And we appreciate it.
22:44That's good public relations.
22:47And it only happened because you were thoughtful enough
22:50to allow Mrs. Carmichael to take off,
22:54to go shopping.
23:01That's because he's such a sweet guy.
23:04He certainly is.
23:08Oh, shucks.
23:12But he is not the only one that can be sweet.
23:15Now, in order to show our appreciation,
23:17the bank is going to give you
23:18one full week's salary as a bonus.
23:21A full week's salary?
23:23That's right.
23:25And I'm sure you will want to show your appreciation
23:27by giving Mrs. Carmichael a week's salary
23:30out of that bonus.
23:34Uh, of course, sir.
23:37Mooney!
23:39I am proud of you.
23:43He loved his work.
23:52Gee, a whole week's salary for me.
23:54Thank you, Mr. Mooney.
23:55A half-week's salary.
23:59Mr. Cheever just says
24:00that you should give me a whole week's salary.
24:02I don't care what he said.
24:04And one more word out of you
24:06and you won't get a red cent.
24:08And you're supposed to be such a sweet guy.
24:11I am a sweet guy!
24:13And don't you forget it!
24:15No!
24:16No!
24:16No!
24:16No!
24:16No!
24:16No!
24:17No!
24:17No!
24:17No!
24:17No!
24:17No!
24:17No!
24:18No!
24:18No!
24:18No!
24:18No!
24:18No!
24:18No!
24:19No!
24:19No!
24:19No!
24:20No!
24:20No!
24:21No!
24:21No!
24:22No!
24:22No!
24:23No!
24:23No!
24:24No!
24:24No!
24:25No!
24:26No!
24:27No!
24:28No!
24:29No!
24:30No!
24:31No!
24:32No!
24:33No!
24:34No!
24:35No!
24:36No!
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24:38No!
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24:40No!
24:41No!
24:42No!
24:43No!
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24:46No!
24:47No!
24:48No!
24:49No!
24:50No!
24:51No!
24:52No!
24:53No!
24:54THE END
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