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00:00Betty White, in Life with Elizabeth, featuring Del Moore.
00:22For our first incident in the life of Elizabeth, why don't we see what she and Alvin are doing at this very moment.
00:27Let's see, it's about 8.30, so dinner should be over.
00:31I heard them mention they'd be home tonight, so why don't we take a chance?
00:37Elizabeth, how are you tonight?
00:41I can see Alvin's taking pictures, but what are you working on?
00:48Oh, darning socks.
00:50You'd better listen to Alvin, he's about to say something.
00:53All right, honey, strike the pose and hold it.
00:56Real nice. Ready?
00:57Hey, that ought to be a real good study.
01:02I wonder what I ought to call that.
01:04Why don't you call her Whistler's Sister?
01:07Whistler's Sister?
01:09No, I have a better idea, darling.
01:11Why don't you sit here and we'll call it Whistler's Father.
01:15Elizabeth, will you stop talking like an idiot, please?
01:19Sometimes I have to talk like an idiot, darling, so you'll understand me.
01:23What did you mean by that?
01:25Nothing.
01:26As long as we have this rocker, why don't you make a whole series of Whistler pictures?
01:30Get this thing...
01:31I have an idea.
01:32Come here.
01:34You sit here a minute.
01:35You be Mr. Whistler.
01:36Honey, please, I'm trying to take pictures now.
01:38Come on, now.
01:39Don't be so narrow-minded.
01:41I might have a good idea here.
01:42You don't know.
01:43Here.
01:45All right, now you sit right like that.
01:48Now, purse your lips, Mr. Whistler.
01:52Hold it.
01:54Got it.
01:56I think I'll call that Whistler whistling.
02:01Honey, you're wasting the film, please.
02:03One more shot, just one more.
02:05Now sit there, Mr. Whistler.
02:06Mr. Whistler.
02:07All right.
02:08Now get up.
02:09No, move away.
02:14Away?
02:14Away, yeah.
02:16Hold it.
02:19Got it.
02:19Now, what's the big idea of taking a picture of an empty chair?
02:22I'm going to call it Whistler's office rocker.
02:27Open the rocker.
02:28Get away from that tripod.
02:30Robin, you knocked me out with that camera.
02:32Don't get any ideas in my head, Grandma.
02:36I'm sorry.
02:38I guess I have been teasing you too much, darling.
02:40It's all right.
02:41I'm just trying to concentrate.
02:42What's the idea of all the pictures all of a sudden?
02:44Well, that magazine, they're running a contest for all kinds of pictures.
02:47I'm going to enter every one of them.
02:49Still lifes, candids, portraits, whole works.
02:52A lot of money in this, you know, if you put your mind to it.
02:57What are you doing now?
02:59This is going to be one of the still lifes.
03:00I think I'm going to call this one grapefruit in a bowl.
03:04Yeah.
03:04It's probably logical, isn't it, honey?
03:11Why don't you call it Sour Pawn Shop?
03:17You get it?
03:17It looks like one of those signs out in front of a pawn shop.
03:21Yeah.
03:22I'd kill me.
03:24What do you do, honey?
03:25Sharpen your toenails.
03:28What was that for?
03:31That was one of the candid shots.
03:33And I might as well warn you, dear, that I'm going to take as many candid shots of you as I get a chance to.
03:36So be careful.
03:37Oh, Alan, don't do that.
03:38They make people look awful.
03:40Well, don't say I didn't warn you.
03:42Well, if that's the way you feel about it, I'm going to stay right in this chair.
03:46Suit yourself.
03:47What do I care?
03:49Elizabeth, will hand me that flash bulb down there, please, on the floor.
03:52Where?
03:52Right down there in front of the chair.
03:58Oh, Alvin.
03:59I'm going to call that one lady in pain.
04:01Huh?
04:01Alvin, you said.
04:02No, no.
04:03They did anything.
04:04Besides, I want to take some real nice pictures of you a little bit later.
04:11What are you doing now?
04:12I don't trust you.
04:13Adjusting the lights.
04:13That's all.
04:14Merely adjusting the lights.
04:20Alvin.
04:21Come on, Alvin.
04:22I'm on none of your trouble.
04:22Hold it.
04:24Give me that.
04:24I'm going to come.
04:25Last one.
04:26Sit down.
04:27Take a nice, pretty picture.
04:28Come on, sir.
04:29I can't even trust you behind my back.
04:31Now, this one is going to be a prize winner, and I'm going to call this one typical.
04:36It's going to be a little close up, so watch it.
04:38Typical wife.
04:39Hold still.
04:40Typical.
04:42Wouldn't I look more natural going through your wallet?
04:45Honey, please.
04:46Now, this is a serious sport.
04:47Ready?
04:48One, two.
04:49That's funny.
04:57All right, let's try it again.
04:58One.
04:59Pretty.
05:00One, two.
05:05Must be a cheap lens.
05:07Now, let's take it once more.
05:09All righty.
05:09Nice and pretty.
05:11One, two.
05:12Oh, Elizabeth, for goodness sake.
05:15Honey, now that's nice.
05:18Crickets.
05:24I shall leave you at this point, Alvin.
05:26I have a television program I'd like to hear.
05:29No, wait a minute.
05:30No, no, no.
05:30Just a minute.
05:31I want to try one more shot.
05:33Where's that glass top table we have around here?
05:35You know, the glass top.
05:36What if it was a bear at a bike check?
05:38Oh, here it is.
05:39All righty.
05:41Would you put it right over here for me, please, Elizabeth?
05:44Lighting isn't too bad in here for pictures, I don't think.
05:47Now, where do you want this?
05:49Just put it right down here, sweetie.
05:51Over here.
05:51This is the one you ought to call Lady in Pain.
05:53That's really funny.
05:54Put the thing down there.
05:55Where?
05:56Right down there.
05:57Can I help you, Lady?
05:59Thank you ever so much, Alvin.
06:01Yeah.
06:01Now, look, when I climb underneath, I want you to adjust the lights, okay?
06:05Bye.
06:06What are you trying to do?
06:08Get a worm's eye view of the ceiling?
06:10No, I'm going to wait until a fly lands on the glass.
06:13That should make a very unusual shot, don't you think?
06:15Alvin, you're stooping pretty low when you start photographing underneath flies.
06:20I'll just have to wait a moment.
06:21Maybe I'd better open the screen doors and let some in.
06:24Elizabeth, don't be ridiculous.
06:25Elizabeth, don't let any flies in this house.
06:27We've got enough.
06:28Elizabeth, come back here.
06:29We've got enough flies.
06:33Alvin?
06:33Yes?
06:34Any flies yet?
06:35No.
06:36Maybe this will do it.
06:37Elizabeth, don't do that.
06:38Honey, don't do that.
06:39Elizabeth, don't do that.
06:39Hey, Elizabeth, don't do that.
06:40Shh, don't do that.
06:41Don't do that.
06:42Don't do that.
06:43Don't do that.
06:44Whee!
06:45Whee!
06:45Wait, Alvin.
06:51What am I doing?
06:52I'm the one that has to clean this up.
06:53All right, okay.
06:54Go on, see your television show.
06:55Get out of here.
06:56Come on.
06:57No, let's take some more pictures.
06:59I think I'll help you.
07:00Let's do some more still lifes.
07:02Elizabeth, please.
07:05Um, there.
07:07Now, what is that supposed to be?
07:10Let's call it a stick and a grapefruit.
07:13Oh, Elizabeth, for goodness sake.
07:14Don't be back and so...
07:16It's stuck.
07:18Let's call it a stick and a grapefruit.
07:21Get out of here.
07:22Go on.
07:22Get on out of here.
07:23You know, if we piled them up on them,
07:25we could have a whole stack of stuck sticks.
07:27Out.
07:28Out.
07:29And if we saved them,
07:30we could have a whole stack of stuck sticks in stock.
07:33Here we go, stick, stuck, stuck.
07:35Here.
07:36Hold this.
07:40Thank you, Elizabeth.
07:43Now, what's the big idea?
07:44You're putting that under my chin.
07:45Cut.
07:45I think I'll call that water under the bridge.
07:52Open your hand.
07:53Open your hand.
07:55I'm helping?
07:56Sure, helping.
07:56Hold this, please.
07:57Cup your hands.
07:59Here you are.
08:00Put your hands together.
08:01How do you mean?
08:01Like this.
08:02Right in here.
08:03Close them in there like that.
08:04Tighten up.
08:05You got it?
08:06How's that?
08:07All right?
08:08Uh-huh.
08:08Good.
08:10What are you going to call this one?
08:11I think I should call that, um,
08:12I shall leave you at this point, Elizabeth.
08:16That's funny.
08:17It means forever.
08:19Oh, no.
08:20Alvin, you wouldn't.
08:21Good night, Elizabeth.
08:22Alvin, no.
08:23Alvin, you couldn't do a thing like that.
08:25Alvin?
08:26Well, listen, aren't you ashamed?
08:34You know, every marriage eventually reaches that stage known as the end of the honeymoon.
08:39It's that time in marriage when the husband suddenly notices the burnt toast.
08:45And the wife decides that her little tin god is actually pretty slumpy about picking up his clothes.
08:51Well, Alvin and Elizabeth reach this stage, oh, I'd say about three months after they were married.
08:57Elizabeth, Elizabeth, honey, I can't find a shirt.
09:05Here's one, darling, I just ironed it for you.
09:07Thanks.
09:08Gee, I didn't know you could iron a shirt like that.
09:10And I hand it to your mother.
09:12She really raised you right.
09:16What's the matter?
09:17Cuffs are wet.
09:19Oh, that, I had to sprinkle it, hun.
09:21They'll dry out in a minute.
09:22Okay.
09:25Collar's wet.
09:26Hello, Mama.
09:40Mama, I sprinkled Alvin's shirt the way you told me to, but he says the cuffs are still wet.
09:47Oh, I'm supposed to sprinkle it before I iron it.
09:52Oh, about the collar, too.
09:53He says to tell you that his collar's still damp, too.
09:59Mama.
10:00What'd she say?
10:01She says that's because you're still wet behind the ears.
10:04Tell her I love her, too, wouldn't you?
10:09All right, Mama.
10:10I'll call you back.
10:11I have to get Alvin's breakfast.
10:13Bye-bye.
10:15Wet behind the ears.
10:17Honey, I just thought of a funny joke.
10:20When you go down to work with that wet collar on today, you lose your temper at somebody.
10:25Lose my temper?
10:28You're supposed to ask me why.
10:30Why?
10:31Then when you get hot under the collar, it'll dry out.
10:34I made that up.
10:37It's a joke.
10:40Sweetie, you're not laughing.
10:42How are we going to dry the cuffs?
10:45Well, you could stick your arms out the window when you drive to work.
10:52Oh, honey, I've got to go get something on my feet.
10:54Where are my socks?
10:55You're hanging over the heater in the hall.
10:58You ought to be nice and warm.
10:59Did you find them?
11:02Yep, I'll be right there.
11:11Did you find them, Mama?
11:12Oh, good.
11:13I found them.
11:15What's the matter?
11:17It's almost the best evening.
11:20They were hanging over the heater in the hall.
11:22The heater wasn't on.
11:24I feel like I'm standing in a waiting pool.
11:26I could think of a funny joke about a hot foot, but I don't guess you'd want to hear it.
11:31No, as a matter of fact, I thought of a funny story.
11:34Why is Alvin like an island?
11:37You're supposed to ask me why.
11:38Why?
11:39Because he's entirely surrounded by water.
11:44You know something, Elizabeth?
11:46I think I'm developing webbed feet.
11:48See, they're spreading out like...
11:51Oh, honey.
11:52Oh, honey, no, I'm...
11:53Oh, honey, I wouldn't do anything to make you...
11:55Oh, what did I say, honey?
11:56Did I say something?
11:57Was it the waiting pool?
11:58Was it the one I said about the...
11:59About the standing in the pond?
12:01Was it?
12:02Honey, what did I say?
12:03Please, no matter what I said, I take it back.
12:05Now tell Alvin what he said.
12:06Please, sweetie.
12:07What did I say?
12:09Hmm?
12:10You...
12:11You called me Elizabeth.
12:15Well, of course it's my name, but...
12:20You haven't called me that since our third date together.
12:25Oh, darling, what...
12:26Nothing's happening to us.
12:29You're just married to an old fool, that's all.
12:31Imagine me calling you Elizabeth.
12:33I ought to be horse whipped.
12:34Don't talk.
12:34I should.
12:35No, don't.
12:35Yes, I should.
12:36It's my own fault for being so touchy, that's all.
12:39I shouldn't be such a baby.
12:42Now you eat your breakfast, darling.
12:43I'll go get the coffee.
12:44Okay.
12:45Not before you kiss me.
12:47Oh.
12:49Hurry up.
12:50You're going to be late for the office.
12:51You start to eat and I'll get the coffee.
12:52Oh, yeah.
12:54Lamsey face.
12:55Who spilled the mustard on the waffle?
12:59That's lemon pie.
13:02Oh, darling, does it look that bad?
13:04Oh, no, of course not.
13:05I just wasn't expecting lemon pie for breakfast.
13:09I guess it is kind of unusual.
13:11Would you rather Boston cream?
13:14This is just a suggestion, Lamsey, but I love ham and eggs.
13:19Good.
13:19That's what we're having for dinner.
13:23Honey, I don't have time to eat.
13:24Look, a fast cup of coffee, then I've got to get to the office.
13:27One cup of black coffee coming up.
13:32Isn't that a little weak?
13:35I must have forgotten to light the gas.
13:38It's all right, honey.
13:39I don't even have time for the coffee.
13:40I've got to get my tie on.
13:42By the way, where are my ties?
13:43I couldn't find them.
13:44What's the matter?
13:46I sent them to the cleaners.
13:49All of them?
13:51Don't worry about it.
13:52I'll run next door to the Jacksons and borrow a tie.
13:54You get your shoes on or something.
13:56I'll be one minute.
13:57Would you hurry, honey?
14:00My gosh, you can play to get it.
14:02You got my tie?
14:15Where's the tie?
14:16Never mind the tie.
14:17What do you mean, never mind the tie?
14:18I'm going to be late to the office.
14:19Never mind the office.
14:21The Jacksons just left for church today's Sunday.
14:23Incident number three in the life of Elizabeth occurred on a very mixed-up Saturday afternoon.
14:39Now, Elizabeth and Alvin could have made it all right, but their neighbor, Mrs. Chloe Skinridge, came to call.
14:46And as you shall see, that didn't help matters a bit.
14:50Well, hello, Mrs. Skinridge.
15:21Are you, Alvin?
15:24Oh, I guess I do look strange.
15:26I just came back from the dentist.
15:27Oh, you sound like you're eating a peanut butter sandwich.
15:30No, the Novocaine hasn't worn off yet.
15:32I can't even feel my face at all.
15:33Oh, poor boy.
15:35I know exactly how you feel.
15:37I just came from the eye doctors myself.
15:40Really?
15:40Yeah, I put drops in my eyes to dilate the pupils.
15:42Doesn't that blur things a little bit?
15:44Blur things?
15:45Oh, no, not a bit.
15:46Not a bit.
15:47Why, Elizabeth, I didn't see you standing there.
15:49Where are you?
15:50I didn't even know she's home.
15:51Yes, right there in the brown dress.
15:54Hello, dear.
15:57Now, you've got to do something about that girl.
16:00She's gaining weight.
16:02Mrs. Skinridge, those are the drapes.
16:04Elizabeth hasn't returned yet from having her airplane ride.
16:07Oh, did she go up on an airplane?
16:09She won one of those contests, you know, and got a ride around the city.
16:12Can I have my pocketbook with me?
16:13I thought I had it.
16:13Yes, let's sit down on the couch, Mrs. Skinridge.
16:15Mrs. Skinridge, we'll be right back.
16:16Oh, thanks.
16:18Just have a seat.
16:21Oh, I see a rip host to the couch.
16:26Yeah, these chairs are nice, too.
16:33Hello, darling.
16:34Hi, sweetie.
16:34How are you?
16:35Oh, mm.
16:38Hi, Mrs. Skinridge.
16:39How are you?
16:40Well, don't I get my kiss?
16:42Sweetheart, I just kissed you.
16:44Alvin, what happened to your face?
16:47Oh, no wonder I didn't feel your kiss.
16:50I'm dead from the neck up.
16:51I know that, honey, but what happened to your face?
16:55Oh, I'm sorry.
16:56I'm only teasing.
16:57How are you, Mrs. Skinridge?
16:58Oh, just fine, just fine.
17:00And how did you enjoy the plane ride?
17:02Oh, uh...
17:04Fine.
17:05You're such a tiny slip of a thing, too.
17:07Wasting work, yes.
17:08Come on, sit down and tell us all about it.
17:10Uh, sit on the couch there, Mrs. Skinridge.
17:12Be right with you.
17:14What's the matter with her?
17:15Has she flipped her lid or something?
17:16No, no, she's had her eyes dilated,
17:18and she doesn't want to admit that it blurs things a little bit.
17:22Say, how was the flying trip?
17:24Oh, honey, let me tell you about this trip.
17:26It was the most exciting thing.
17:29Uh, I'll tell you what, Mrs. Skinridge.
17:31Instead of sitting on the couch here,
17:32uh, why don't you sit over here on this chair?
17:34Oh, thanks, thanks.
17:36Yeah.
17:36Now, come on, sit down here.
17:38We want to hear all about that plane trip.
17:40Oh, I don't mind telling you
17:43this was the most exciting thing I have ever seen.
17:45We went up to 13,000 feet.
17:47My lad.
17:48Hey, that's pretty high.
17:49Didn't it affect your ears?
17:51Not a bit.
17:52That's funny.
17:53My ears ring when I go upstairs.
17:56I guess I'm just lucky.
17:58Anyhow, we went up to 13,000 feet.
18:01Oh.
18:01Answer the phone, Alvin.
18:03Answer the phone.
18:05Shouldn't it ring first, my dear?
18:09Never mind.
18:09It stopped.
18:10Anyhow, we went up to 13,000 feet,
18:13and the pilot let me take the controls.
18:15No, no.
18:17Well, I tell you.
18:19Alvin, will you answer the phone?
18:21Elizabeth, it isn't ringing.
18:23It is, too.
18:24I'll prove it to you.
18:33Hello?
18:34Hello?
18:36Well, how are you going to hear anything out of your forehead?
18:41Well, I can't find my ear.
18:42It's down here.
18:44Anyway, the phone wasn't ringing.
18:47There it goes again.
18:48Oh, I know what's the matter.
18:50You're answering the wrong phone.
18:52I'll take care of it.
18:55Hello?
18:57Hello?
18:59I just can't stand people.
19:01Just hang up the minute you say hello.
19:06Elizabeth, why don't you admit that your ears are buzzing and ringing from that plane ride?
19:10Because they're not.
19:11They are.
19:13Would you like some coffee, Mrs. Skinridge?
19:15Oh, that sounds delightful.
19:17I'll get it, honey.
19:18I put some on before you came home.
19:19It should be ready by now.
19:20Oh, it is.
19:22I can hear it chiming.
19:24You're as stubborn as a mule.
19:26Elizabeth, as soon as Alvin goes, I want to show you a song I wrote.
19:32He's gone.
19:33Oh, I'll get some song.
19:36It's in my pocket over here.
19:47Here's your purse, Mrs. Skinridge.
19:49Oh, thanks, dear.
19:51Thanks.
19:52Oh, there it is.
19:53Oh, yes.
19:53Alvin, will you turn off the buzzer on the stove?
19:56Here's the song.
20:01This is your milk bill.
20:02On the other side.
20:06I don't read music, Mrs. Skinridge.
20:08Now, of course you do.
20:10I've heard you sing in the Glee Club many times.
20:13All I know is the Aldo part to Old Dog Trey.
20:15Hmm?
20:16Old, old, my...
20:19Listen.
20:20Fire engines.
20:21And, Mr., that's a beautiful dress you're wearing.
20:31I was telling Alvin I love that shade of brown.
20:34I guess the fire engines were on the next block.
20:36My dear, do you mind if I say something personal?
20:41Of course not.
20:42I've got to do something about your weight.
20:44You're getting positively hippy.
20:46Here we are.
20:47Here's the coffee, girls.
20:48Come on, sit down.
20:49How sweet.
20:50Ah, here's the thing.
20:53There we are.
20:57Now then.
20:59Ah, nice.
21:01Hey.
21:03Here you are, Mrs. Skinridge.
21:05Thanks, dear.
21:06Here you go.
21:07It's hot.
21:08Looks good, huh?
21:09And here you are, sweetheart.
21:12Don't seem to get a light.
21:15You can smoke later, darling.
21:17I didn't know that Alvin smoked a pint.
21:19Oh, I just love these big pups.
21:25Try this one.
21:26Oh, thanks.
21:28Yeah, I have some.
21:33Coffee, sir?
21:34Hello.
21:37Hang up.
21:38Up, here you go.
21:44Up there.
21:45That's it.
21:46Thank you, dear.
21:47Try yours.
21:47I hope that it's worked enough for you.
21:50Sounds delicious.
21:51Care for cream a little bit?
21:53No, thanks.
21:54Can we answer the door, sweetheart?
21:57There's nobody at the door.
21:58There he is.
21:59There he is.
22:04Oh, thanks.
22:10What are you trying to do?
22:12Well, it's no worse than you saying you can hear the coffee.
22:15Well, I can.
22:17It makes kind of a little buzzing noise.
22:21Maybe it's the caffeine coughing.
22:23Elizabeth, your ears are still ringing from that airplane.
22:28They are not.
22:31Ridiculous.
22:31What was that?
22:32What?
22:33What?
22:34Listen.
22:35All that nothing.
22:36I don't hear anything.
22:38That's just it.
22:39Listen to all that silence.
22:42Elizabeth, how can you hear silence?
22:45Oh, for sake.
22:46You know what it is, don't you?
22:47No.
22:48Your ears have finally opened up.
22:49That's all.
22:50You're so stubborn and so hard-headed.
22:54Alvin, the novocaine has worn off.
22:55You didn't put the cigarette in your eye that time.
22:59Hey, that's right.
23:00And you don't hear any bells anymore.
23:02No.
23:03Well, I don't like that.
23:04Oh, isn't that wonderful?
23:08Answer the phone.
23:09That's really something.
23:10Oh, no, you don't.
23:12Honey, answer the phone, will you, please?
23:14I'm not going to fall for any of your tricks.
23:17He's probably just whistling like a phone bell.
23:19Oh.
23:20I'll get it.
23:21Don't worry.
23:22Hello.
23:23Hello.
23:24Would you answer me?
23:25Hello.
23:27Hello, Mr. Skinridge.
23:28This is Mrs. Skinridge.
23:30Will you hang up Mrs. Skinridge?
23:31You bet she's here.
23:33Have you a party line, Alvin?
23:35Will you hang yours up, Mrs. Skinridge?
23:37Oh, for goodness sake.
23:38Yes, I sure will.
23:39I'll be glad to tell her.
23:41Bye.
23:42I didn't know you had two phones.
23:44Well, we hardly ever use that one anymore.
23:46Oh, that was Mr. Skinridge.
23:49No.
23:49He said the doctor told him that the eye drops won't bother you so much if you take your glasses
23:53off.
23:54What?
23:54Huh?
23:56My left.
23:58Is that what I was using for a phone?
24:03Elizabeth, how did you lose all that weight so fast?
24:06Huh?
24:06I went on a quick dive.
24:09Oh, the Novocaine is wearing off.
24:11My teeth are hurting now.
24:12Oh, no.
24:13And here I am.
24:13Hey.
24:14Hey.
24:16Say goodbye to the people.
24:18Goodbye, everybody.
24:19Can you imagine when she went over to the drink?
24:21Oh, where's she at?
24:22She said, you've been losing a little weight.
24:24And you said, no.
24:26You're not going to get in your hands.
24:27It's a great thing.
24:28Now, here to say goodbye to you is the lovely star of our show, Betty White.
24:32Thank you, Jeff.
24:35And thank you, everybody.
24:38Come on back and see us again, will you?
24:40And until next time, once more, goodbye, everybody.
25:02We'll be right back and see you next time.
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