- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00The Lucy Show
00:10Starring Lucille Ball
00:16Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30Brought to you by
00:32Lucy?
00:33Yeah.
00:34What was so important you had to give up your lunch hour for Mr. Mooney?
00:37Well, Mr. Barmarsh, the jeweler, is bringing a present over here that Mr. Mooney bought for his wife.
00:43Mr. Mooney bought a present for his wife?
00:46He had a ring made for her.
00:49What'd she catch him at?
00:52Nothing.
00:54It's their wedding anniversary.
00:56Well, Lucy, from what you've told me, I didn't even think Mr. Mooney was fond of his wife.
01:01He's fond of anything that's deductible.
01:06This is the check that I have to give to the jeweler.
01:09How much is the check for?
01:11I don't know.
01:12It's sealed in this envelope.
01:14Well, let's open it and take a peek.
01:16Mary Jane.
01:18Well, aren't you curious how much Mr. Mooney's spending on a present for his wife?
01:22It's none of my business.
01:24If Mr. Mooney wanted me to know, he wouldn't have sealed the check in an envelope.
01:29You could steam it open.
01:31Mary Jane.
01:32That's unladylike and unethical.
01:36Now turn up the heat under that cabinet.
01:42There.
01:43Now put it right over it.
01:44Right back there.
01:46See how it's doing?
01:47Oh, yeah.
01:48See where it's going.
01:49Now turn it off.
01:50Oh, I feel just like James Bond.
01:55What's that?
01:57It's another sealed envelope with some writing on it.
01:59What does it say?
02:01If you open this one, Mrs. Carmichael, you're fired.
02:04How do you like the nerve of that man?
02:10After knowing me all these years, he doesn't trust me.
02:23Carmichael.
02:23Yes, sir?
02:24Did Julie get here with the ring yet?
02:25No, sir.
02:26He didn't.
02:27Here's the check.
02:28What are you doing?
02:38I'm giving the envelope a rubdown.
02:40It's already had a steam.
02:45Mr. Mooney, are you insinuating that...
02:48Yes.
02:50I won't even dignify that with a denial.
02:54Come in.
02:55Oh, Mr. Balmarsh, I've been expecting you.
02:59I regret I was unavoidably detained.
03:02Mr. Mooney, the ring turned out more beautifully than I anticipated.
03:06Oh.
03:08Oh, it's absolutely gorgeous.
03:11Oh, Mr. Balmarsh, that is really a work of art.
03:16Oh, Mr. Mooney, your wife is a lucky woman to be married to a man like you.
03:21I know.
03:22I can hardly wait to see her face when I give her this at the party tonight.
03:28Oh, is the ring a surprise?
03:30Surprise nothing.
03:31She designed it herself.
03:32Oh.
03:33Oh, here's your check, Mr. Balmarsh.
03:35Oh, thank you.
03:36Well, this seems to be an order.
03:38Six thousand dollars.
03:44Now you know, nosy.
03:46I beg your pardon?
03:49Oh, I have just something I had to tell my secretary.
03:52And here is your receipt.
03:53Oh, thank you very much.
03:54Good day, sir.
03:55Oh, Mr. Balmarsh.
03:56Yes?
03:56Aren't you forgetting something?
03:59Forgetting something?
04:00Oh, yes.
04:00I thought with a purchase this size, what at least you could do.
04:03Mr. Mooney, when you ordered the ring, I made it quite clear.
04:07We do not give trading stamps.
04:09My, this certainly does sparkle, doesn't it?
04:17Oh, it's absolutely scrumptious.
04:19Oh, Mr. Mooney.
04:21Mr. Mooney, would you do me a favor?
04:24What's that, Mrs. Carmichael?
04:25Would you let me try the ring on?
04:27Why?
04:29Well, I'll never be able to afford a thing like that.
04:33And I just like the thrill of seeing how it looks on me.
04:36That's all.
04:37Well, of course you may try it on.
04:39Thank you, sir.
04:40You'll be very careful.
04:41Oh, I will.
04:42I won't drop it.
04:42No, no, don't.
04:43No, sir.
04:44Oh, it is so beautiful.
04:46Yes, it is.
04:48Oh, oh, it's heavy.
04:50It's really heavy.
04:52Oh, my dear.
04:54Oh, what is that?
04:57Oh, oh, oh, how do you do?
05:00It's so good to see you, Duchess.
05:02Oh, nice of you to come to my little soiree.
05:06Oh, Elizabeth and Philip.
05:08Oh, how are things at the palace?
05:12Oh, that's nice.
05:14Oh, this?
05:15Oh, it's just a new little bauble I picked up.
05:19I see you're still wearing that same old crown.
05:24All right, Mrs. Carmichael.
05:27Fun time's over.
05:28Yes, let's get back to work now.
05:30Yes, sir.
05:30And I want to thank you very much for allowing me to put it out.
05:33That's all right.
05:34It was nice seeing you.
05:35It's a thrill, I can tell you that.
05:37Yes.
05:45Here.
05:47Oh, no.
05:50Oh, no, no, don't.
05:52Don't tell me that you can't.
05:54I won't.
05:57But I can't.
05:58Mrs. Carmichael, if this is one of your practical jokes...
06:01No, sir, it's not a joke.
06:02The ring is really stuck.
06:03I can't...
06:04This is what I get for being nice to people.
06:05Get it off, get it off.
06:06I'm trying, I'm trying.
06:07Well, try harder, try harder.
06:10Here, here, let me try, let me try.
06:11Here, I'll get it off.
06:13Mr. Mooney, Mr. Mooney, be careful, please.
06:16Mr. Mooney.
06:17All right, Mrs. Carmichael.
06:19What?
06:19Brace yourself.
06:20For what?
06:24Really?
06:24Oh, well, you got it out, you get it out.
06:27All right, all right.
06:27Oh, we're ridiculous, idiotic, stupid, horrible...
06:30No, no, don't yell, don't yell.
06:32You'll make my fingers swell.
06:34Yelling, make your fingers swell.
06:36Yes, it's a condition I have.
06:38When I get nervous, my fingers swell.
06:40See, started already.
06:42Well, I should have known a fat head would have fat fingers.
06:45Now, don't make it worse, for heaven's sake.
06:49Just give me a minute, I'll get it off.
06:53Oh, you know, I think I know how.
06:56Oh, what, what, what, what, what, what?
06:57Well, they say sometimes when you get a ring stuck,
06:59if you put soap and water on it, it'll just slip right off.
07:02That's right, that's right, yes.
07:03All right, I'll be right back.
07:04Hold it!
07:07I'm not going to let you out of my sight.
07:09I'm going with you.
07:10To the ladies' room?
07:11Did you get it off?
07:25No, but I've got the fattest wrinkled fingers in town.
07:30Oh, no.
07:31Now, now, Mr. Mooney, don't give up.
07:34There must be a way.
07:36Remember, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
07:39Slow and steady wins the race.
07:43He who gives up...
07:44Oh, be quiet!
07:47I'm trying to think.
07:48All right, all right, and I'll think, too.
07:50After all, two heads are better than one.
07:52Normally, yes, but in this, oh.
07:56Wait a minute.
07:57Ah, that's it.
07:58What, what's it?
07:59I'm going to call the hardware store and have them send over a hacksaw.
08:02A hacksaw?
08:03Oh, Mr. Mooney, it'd be a shame to cut a beautiful ring like this.
08:08I wasn't thinking of cutting the ring.
08:13Well, you certainly can't be thinking of cutting...
08:15Oh, no, no, I guess not.
08:18Although, the way you type with fewer fingers, you'd make fewer mistakes.
08:23Oh, Mr. Mooney...
08:25Now, Mr. Carmichael, you get that off or you are fired!
08:28I am sick and tired of your ridiculous terrible...
08:31Oh, don't cry, oh.
08:34I'd feel bad enough without you yelling at me.
08:37Yeah, well, don't cry.
08:39Don't cry.
08:39Well, don't yell.
08:41Don't yell.
08:43The more you yell, the more nervous you make me.
08:45And the more nervous I get, the more my fingers swell.
08:49I got a condition.
08:51Why don't you see a doctor about that condition?
08:53I did, and he gave me some pills for it.
08:56Oh, what kind of pills?
08:57Relaxing pills?
08:58I think I better take some right now.
09:01Well, please do, please do!
09:02You made me so nervous, Mr. Mooney.
09:05You always yell.
09:06You never wait for anybody to explain anything.
09:07Well, now, just take it easy, take it easy.
09:09You can't have to take pills, take pills.
09:11Here's the water.
09:11There you are.
09:13Well, that's good.
09:14That's fine.
09:15Oh, you're doing very well.
09:16Good.
09:16Oh, good.
09:18All right, now.
09:21Now, do you feel any better?
09:23No, I don't feel better yet.
09:24No.
09:24I got to have time to relax and be quiet.
09:28Oh, all right.
09:29We'll have you relaxed in no time at all.
09:31We'll do that now.
09:32Just take it easy.
09:34Here we are.
09:34Now, come along.
09:35Sit down.
09:36That's easy.
09:37Easy, does it?
09:38Now, lie back.
09:39Lie back.
09:40Oh.
09:40That's right.
09:41Now, put your head back.
09:43There you are.
09:44Close your eyes.
09:45There we go.
09:48Rock-a-bye, baby.
09:51If you relax, the swelling will stop.
09:57Ma-dee-da.
09:59Ah!
10:01Oh, that telephone bell.
10:03Hello.
10:04Yes, Miss Jones, yes.
10:07All right, Miss Jones.
10:08Yes, yes.
10:09I'll take care of it.
10:10Okay, thank you very much.
10:12That bell scares me to death every time.
10:15I've asked them to change that bell.
10:16Relax, please.
10:17If you'd ask them, maybe they'd get a softer bell on there.
10:21I get scared all day long with that bell.
10:23No, no, relax.
10:25Relax.
10:26You're not going to sing anymore, are you?
10:32Mrs. Carmichael.
10:33What?
10:34How long will it take for those pills to take effect?
10:37I don't know.
10:37I never took them before.
10:40Well, I hope they work fast, because if I don't get that ring to my wife at that party
10:44tonight, she'll kill me.
10:46She'll bite my head off.
10:48And with her big mouth, she can do it, too.
10:50Oh, that woman, when she gets mad, she'll hurt me.
10:53Mr. Mooney.
10:53Mr. Mooney.
10:54Here you go.
10:55Mr. Mooney, it's hard for me to relax here with the phone ringing and you talking all the
11:01time.
11:01I think, really, that I'd get more rest if I went home, if you don't mind.
11:05Oh, all right.
11:05All right.
11:05All right.
11:06It might be good for your condition.
11:07Yes, it would help.
11:08It would help.
11:08I think I'll take one for the road.
11:10Oh, all right.
11:11Okay.
11:13All right.
11:13Now, we'll see that you get home.
11:15All right.
11:15That's a good girl.
11:16All right.
11:18Yeah.
11:19I've got my bag.
11:20All right.
11:33All right.
11:33We're at your power, Mr. Carmichael.
11:35Mrs. Carmichael.
11:51Mrs. Carmichael.
11:52Mrs. Carmichael.
11:54Mrs. Carmichael.
11:56Up-see-daisy.
12:16Mrs. Carmichael.
12:18Up-see-daisy.
12:20Up-see-daisy.
12:21Up-see-daisy.
12:22Up-see-daisy.
12:22Up-see-daisy.
12:23Up-see-daisy.
12:23Oh, that's lovely, Tom.
12:25That's a good girl.
12:27There.
12:27You see?
12:28Now you're...
12:28Up-see-daisy.
12:34Mrs. Carmichael.
12:35My-michael.
12:37Oh.
12:39There.
12:40Oh, you're doing very well.
12:42All right.
12:43Come on.
12:44This way.
12:49This way.
12:49Huh?
12:49Oh, thanks.
12:52Yes.
12:52Come on.
12:53Oh, thanks.
12:54We'll go.
12:55Oh.
12:56Oh.
12:59Oh.
12:59Just, just.
13:09Mrs. Carmichael.
13:11Oh, my God, I'll forget it.
13:13Oh, you.
13:29There we go.
13:31Hold that.
13:35Hold that.
13:37You.
13:41Did you?
13:42Over here.
13:46Here.
13:48And there's a curb now.
13:50We'll just throw our foot up on the curb and away.
14:05Oh, my.
14:06Oh, oh.
14:07I didn't realize those pills were so powerful.
14:14There we go.
14:17There we go.
14:26Oh, there.
14:27Oh, there.
14:28That's fine.
14:29That's fine.
14:30Yeah.
14:31Here.
14:33Here.
14:33Here.
14:33Here.
14:33Here.
14:33Here.
14:33Here.
14:37And they worry about our generation.
14:54Oh, no.
14:55There.
14:56There.
14:57That's a good girl.
14:58We're almost there.
14:59We're almost there.
15:00That's a good girl.
15:05There.
15:06There.
15:07One is more.
15:09Yeah.
15:13Oh.
15:14Oh, God.
15:15There's how to go.
15:16If you can hear me, I have to get into your purse and get your key to your apartment.
15:30All right.
15:46What do you think you're doing, mister?
16:01What do you think I'm doing, you idiot?
16:06I'm going through her purse.
16:09Well, you're a cool one and in broad daylight, too.
16:13Arthur!
16:13Arthur!
16:13Officer, believe me, this isn't what it appears to be.
16:20I'm not a purse, Nancy.
16:21I'm just trying to get a ring.
16:23I knocked the poor girl out to get it, huh?
16:26I did not.
16:28This is my secretary.
16:30I'm trying to get her to her apartment.
16:32You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
16:35Well, I can explain that.
16:37Well, you're better.
16:38Yes.
16:38Well, you see, I bought a ring for my wife.
16:41Up there, here, here, here, here.
16:43There it is, right there, Chief.
16:45Yeah, and my secretary tried it on, and it got stuck.
16:48A likely story.
16:51Well, I can show you the receipt.
16:53I'd like to see it.
16:54You would.
16:56Hold this.
16:57That, there it is.
17:02There's the receipt.
17:04Here.
17:05Oh.
17:08There.
17:09Received $6,000 from Theodore J. Mooney for one ring, huh?
17:13Now, how am I supposed to know that you're Theodore J. Mooney?
17:17Oh, for heaven's sake.
17:19Hold this again.
17:20Hold this again.
17:20Hold this again.
17:24All right.
17:27Here.
17:28There's my identification.
17:29Uh-oh.
17:33All right.
17:34Yeah?
17:35I guess you're Theodore J. Mooney all right.
17:36Of course I am.
17:37Of course I am.
17:38Now, all I want to do is get this poor girl off the street.
17:42You see, she has a condition.
17:43I can see the condition.
17:46Ah.
17:47All right.
17:48Now, Mr. Carmichael, we don't have too far to go now.
17:51Now, we just go up the stairs like a good little girl, huh?
17:55So, here we go.
17:57Yeah, hold on.
17:58Now, let's back up a little bit.
18:00Now, we put one foot up.
18:03Hooray!
18:04Oh, that's good.
18:06Now, we put another one.
18:08Away!
18:10Go!
18:11Now, we put the other one.
18:13Away!
18:14Go!
18:15Oh, you.
18:16That's fine.
18:18Michael, snap out of it.
18:33Snap out of it.
18:34Times are wasting.
18:35I just got to get that ring.
18:36My wife will just kill me if I don't...
18:39Ah!
18:40Oh, no!
18:41Oh, no!
18:42Don't cry!
18:44Oh, God!
18:45Oh, God!
18:47Oh, God!
18:49There you are.
18:53Hi, Mr. Mooney.
18:55How are you?
18:57I'm fine.
18:58How do you really feel?
19:00Fine, fine.
19:01Oh, good.
19:03What do you want?
19:06I want to get this ring off, remember?
19:10Oh, a ring.
19:11Yeah.
19:11Oh, we got to go to my apartment.
19:14Yeah, well, I mean...
19:16We're at your apartment.
19:19Oh, are we?
19:20Oh, yes.
19:21We've been here for over an hour.
19:22Is that so?
19:23Yeah.
19:24Do you think you can get that ring off now?
19:28Huh?
19:30No.
19:32It's stuck.
19:33Yeah.
19:34Well, maybe if we put soap and water on it again, it would come off.
19:38Maybe I should go...
19:40No!
19:40No!
19:41No, Mrs. Carmichael, don't go to me!
19:43Please, Mrs. Carmichael!
19:45Oh, Mrs. Carmichael, oh, no!
19:48I'm up on you!
19:50Come on, I'll touch you.
19:51One foot ahead of the other.
19:52Oh, that's good.
19:54Now, we'll go to the sink and get some milk and water.
19:57Oh, you're doing very well, indeed.
20:00Oh, that's so good.
20:02There we are.
20:03And over here is the sink.
20:04This is my kitchen.
20:05There we are.
20:09There we are.
20:11You're good.
20:12Now, we'll get some soap and some water.
20:15And we'll get your hands all soapy.
20:17And then the ring will come off.
20:20And everything will begin...
20:20Oh, you want to get the ring off?
20:22Yes!
20:23Yes!
20:23Yes!
20:24There we go.
20:25That's it.
20:26Now, that loosens it, doesn't it?
20:28Yeah, it gets all slippery.
20:31Yes!
20:32Yeah, now, how is it coming along now?
20:35Uh, it's off!
20:37It's off!
20:38Oh, wonderful!
20:38Let me have it!
20:40What?
20:41Let me have it!
20:42Oh.
20:43Okay.
20:48Well, can you find it?
20:51No, I can't find it.
20:53Oh, let me...
20:54Let me...
20:54Let me get a...
20:55Let me just get these suds out of here.
20:57Oh.
20:57Here we can get...
20:58All right.
20:59Oh, for the love of you.
21:00Get these suds out of here!
21:01Oh, oh, okay.
21:03That's right.
21:03Get them out of here.
21:04Oh, yeah.
21:07No, there are the suds.
21:08The suds.
21:09The suds.
21:10No, don't touch me.
21:11Don't touch me.
21:11Well, I didn't mean to...
21:12Get the suds out of here.
21:15Oh, hurry up.
21:17Hurry up.
21:17There we are.
21:18Yeah.
21:19The suds are all gone.
21:20Yeah.
21:20As long as the rain.
21:25It went down the drain.
21:27Down the drain!
21:28Down the drain?
21:30Oh, I can't...
21:30Sometimes when things get stuck in there, I just turn this switch on.
21:35Don't turn that on.
21:38Well, I wasn't going to turn it on when your hand was in there.
21:41You think I'm stupid or something?
21:44Don't tempt me with obvious questions.
21:47And don't turn that switch on.
21:49All right.
21:49I don't want a $6,000 ring ground up in the garbage.
21:52Of course you don't.
21:53No, of course I don't.
21:55Well, have you got a plumber?
21:56Yes, but he doesn't make house calls.
21:59Well, have you got some tools?
22:01Yes, I have.
22:02Get them.
22:02Oh.
22:03What have you got?
22:04What?
22:04What have you got in the way of tools?
22:06Oh, I got a hammer and I got a thingamajig and a doohickey.
22:10What's a thingamajig and a doohickey?
22:12That's a doohickey and that's a thingamajig and that's a hammer.
22:16I know I have.
22:19Hi, maybe I can do something here.
22:21That's a garbage disposal.
22:22I know it's a garbage disposal.
22:24Oh.
22:25Hey, give me a wrench.
22:27A what?
22:28A thingamajig.
22:29Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?
22:32Now, if I can just get this pipe loose here, we might be able to see what's going on here.
22:37You think you know what you're doing?
22:38Of course I know what I'm doing.
22:40There we are.
22:41Look through that.
22:45No, there's nothing there.
22:52Will you get the hammer and help me now?
22:54Yes, sir.
22:55What do you want me to do?
22:56Well, now, I'm going to try and get this fitting loose, this gooseneck here.
22:59What?
23:00This gooseneck.
23:01I'm going to loosen the fitting around it and then when I get the wrench on it, you hit it with a hammer and that'll break it loose.
23:06All right.
23:07Now, there we go.
23:08Now, hit it now.
23:08All right.
23:09That's good.
23:10One more.
23:11That's good.
23:11Another one.
23:12Yeah!
23:17I got it loose.
23:21I got it loose.
23:23Lucy.
23:24Lucy, Lucy.
23:25The most amazing thing just happened.
23:27I was down in the laundry room doing my, hello, Mr. Mooney, laundry, and I was using that washing machine that they're fixing in the pipes, and I reached out and got my laundry, and look what I found!
23:35My ring!
23:36My ring!
23:38What do you mean, your ring?
23:39It is his ring!
23:41I mean, his wife's ring!
23:42Remember the ring I told you about in the office?
23:45Yes.
23:45Well, Mr. Mooney let me put it on, and it got stuck on my poor little finger, and we had to get some soap on it, and it slipped off, and it went down in the drain.
23:54I guess it went all the way to the laundry room.
23:56Yeah!
23:56Well, Mr. Mooney has been so upset.
23:59No, I know, just give it to me, please.
24:01He's getting a hand to his wife.
24:02Yeah, thank you very much.
24:03Oh, what we went through.
24:04I know.
24:05But it's all right now?
24:06Yes, it is.
24:07We can get that office out.
24:08I can't get it all.
24:09What?
24:10I can't get the ring.
24:11No, no.
24:12You're kidding!
24:13Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
24:20Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
24:50¶¶
Recommended
25:27
|
Up next
22:28
47:08
1:49
49:24
Be the first to comment