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00:00The Lucy Show
00:11Starring Lucille Balls
00:19Co-starring Gail Gordon
00:30Brought to you by...
00:47Yes, dear.
00:50No, I've already told you I can't get home tonight.
00:53Business is business, Lambie Pie.
00:55No, I can't possibly postpone that appointment.
01:00I got them. Here are your tickets for the ball game tonight.
01:07Tickets?
01:08Who said anything about a ball game?
01:12Well, that's the most insulting thing that anyone has ever called me.
01:17Oh, is that Mrs. Mooney? Tell her I said hello.
01:22All right, all right. If you can't believe your own husband, I have no alternative but to hang up on you, Irma.
01:29Irma?
01:31Irma?
01:36Hey, you, you...
01:38Me? What'd I do?
01:40You have just turned my home into a split-level penitentiary.
01:44Irma, your wife will forgive you. After all, this isn't the first time she caught you lying. If you want my advice...
01:51Mrs. Carmichael, my life with Irma is none of your wretched business. It's my wretched business.
02:00I'll handle Irma.
02:02I was just going to say it'd be easier to apologize if you say it with flowers.
02:07What I have to say to Irma can't be said with flowers.
02:11A flower pot? Maybe.
02:14But not flowers.
02:15Flowers?
02:16Remember last time, if it's not flowers today, it'll be a fur coat tomorrow.
02:23You know, we haven't had any fresh flowers in our living room for a long time.
02:30Any special kind you'd like for her?
02:33Yes.
02:34Poison Ivy!
02:42Come in.
02:44Hi.
02:46Oh, hi, Eddie.
02:48Come on here.
02:52Oh, Mrs. Mooney's flowers?
02:54Yes. Do you like them?
02:55Oh, they're beautiful. Eddie, you really are an artist.
02:59You know something? These are pretty enough to be artificial.
03:04Oh, thank you.
03:05I guess you love flowers as much as I do.
03:08Yeah, yeah, that's because I used to live over a funeral parlor.
03:13I got started by growing plants on my windowsill.
03:16Oh, really?
03:17Yeah.
03:18But there's always some kid on the block on how to fight.
03:20And there was always some guy calling me a sissy.
03:23Yeah, well, I bet those bullies would be good and jealous
03:25if they could see the beautiful work you do now.
03:28Ah, no, I'm just a glorified delivery boy.
03:31Well, you won't be after you buy the shop from your boss.
03:34Oh, that's all off.
03:35I can't get the $3,000 for the down payment.
03:38Oh, Eddie.
03:39Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
03:42Well, I'll just have to tell Mr. Finley to sell the place to somebody else.
03:45He can't sell it to anybody else.
03:47Tell him how much it means to you.
03:49Mr. Finley wants cash.
03:51Where's a pug like me gonna raise 3,000 bucks?
03:54Mr. Mooney.
03:56What do you want?
03:58Oh, Mr. Mooney.
03:59Eddie Rickles!
04:01Oh, you don't have to defend me, Mr. Mooney.
04:03He's a friend.
04:05Mrs. Carmichael, I am well aware of who Eddie Rickles is.
04:09I saw you knock out Joey Mitchell at Madison Square Garden in 1962.
04:14You remember that fifth round?
04:16Oh, boy, he thought he had you trapped.
04:18But you backpedaled.
04:19Then you fainted with your left, and you surprised him with that uppercut.
04:23Pow!
04:25You never had a more loyal fan than Theodore J. Mooney.
04:29Thank you, Mr. Mooney.
04:31Ted, to you.
04:33Well, Eddie, I didn't know you were a famous prize fighter.
04:37Ah, that was a long time ago.
04:39Ah, you were my kind of boxer, Eddie.
04:42And you're his kind of banker, Ted.
04:49Ted, to him.
04:51Mr. Mooney, to you.
04:53Let's tell him the good news, Eddie.
04:56Eddie's going into business for himself.
04:59Well, congratulations, buddy boy.
05:02Where's the saloon going to be?
05:04Who said anything about a saloon?
05:06Mrs. Carmichael, anyone familiar with sports knows
05:10that baseball players open bowling alleys and boxers open saloons.
05:15Yeah, well, not Eddie.
05:17I'm a florist.
05:19Ah, you're wise.
05:21And he's going to buy his own shop.
05:23And you're smart.
05:25And you're going to give him the $3,000 to do it.
05:26And you're nuts.
05:30Mr. Mooney.
05:32Mrs. Carmichael, the bank can't lend money to just any stranger
05:36who wanders in off the street.
05:38Stranger? You just said he's your old buddy, remember?
05:41And all he needs is $3,000.
05:43Don't be a cheapskate.
05:45Mrs. Carmichael, I am acting in the best interest of the bank.
05:48So don't call me your cheapskate.
05:50Well, you said you were Eddie's most loyal fan.
05:53Why don't you loan him the money?
05:54Now you can call me a cheapskate.
05:57Oh, don't feel bad, Eddie.
05:59Mr. Mooney will only loan money to people who don't need the loan.
06:04That's all right.
06:06I guess I was too crazy to even think I could own my own shop.
06:08Oh, now, Eddie, don't give up. Nothing is impossible.
06:12Three thousand bucks, that's impossible.
06:14Boy.
06:16Just think of it.
06:17When I used to fight, I used to get that much for one bout.
06:26You got $3,000 for one fight?
06:29Wow!
06:33Eddie, do you really want that florist shop?
06:36Sure I do.
06:37What should I do?
06:38Then you're gonna fight again.
06:39Oh, no, I can't fight anymore, no.
06:42Why not?
06:43Well, the way Mr. Mooney raved about you, you must be terrific.
06:46Oh, I used to be, but I'm past my prime, and I haven't been in training for years.
06:50So you'll start training again.
06:52All you need is one fight, and you'll have your $3,000.
06:56Are you kidding?
06:57To get $3,000 in one fight, you gotta fight somebody with a big name.
07:02Like Sandy Koufax?
07:05Sandy Koufax isn't a boxer.
07:08No?
07:09I heard Mr. Mooney say that nobody can hit him.
07:13Well, all right, who is a big name?
07:15Well, there's a kid that packs him in by the name of Sonny Shaw.
07:19Well, then, Sonny Shaw better watch out.
07:23For what?
07:24For us!
07:25For us?
07:26We are going to fight Sonny Shaw!
07:28That's a good boy, huh?
07:29That's it.
07:30That's it.
07:31That's it.
07:32That's it.
07:33That's it.
07:34That's it.
07:35That's it.
07:36That's it.
07:37That's it.
07:38That's it.
07:39That's it.
07:40That's it.
07:41That's good.
07:42Oh, yeah.
07:43Yeah, great.
07:44Yeah, that's it.
07:46Excuse me, Nick.
07:47Hey, kid.
07:48Why didn't you cool off for a while, huh?
07:51Since when do they let dames around here during training?
07:54Nick, there ain't no dame.
07:56That's Sonny Stilater.
07:59Oh, that's different.
08:00Come here.
08:04I just bet five big ones on Sonny.
08:07Don't worry, Nick.
08:08Your 5,000 clams is in the bank.
08:11To hear you talk, you'd think the kid with the Manassamala.
08:15Well, he ain't exactly Jack Dempsey, but the kid got what it takes.
08:19He's got fast hands, good wind, and a lot of class.
08:23You better be right, Louie.
08:27Hey, Louie.
08:29What's the red-headed dame doing here?
08:32I ain't no dame.
08:33I'm, uh...
08:34I'm Eddie Rickles' tomato.
08:40And I've come to talk to Sonny Shaw.
08:43Well, I'm Sonny Shaw's manager, lady.
08:45What do you want to talk to him about?
08:47Oh, well, uh, Eddie Rickles is gonna make a comeback, and it's gotta be against Sonny Shaw.
08:51That's what I'm here to talk about.
08:53You mean you would put Eddie Rickles in the same ring with Sonny Shaw?
08:57Of course we'd want to guarantee you three big ones.
09:01What?
09:02That comes to 3,000 oysters.
09:04Clams!
09:05Yeah, yeah, I know what it comes to.
09:09Now, look, lady, I couldn't do a thing like that to Eddie.
09:12Well, he's all washed up.
09:13Eddie is not washed up.
09:15He's still got, got quick hands and light fingers and real class and a lot of wind.
09:23Oh, yeah?
09:24Well, just leave me show you something.
09:27Hey, Sonny!
09:28Come here a minute, will you?
09:32Now, I want you should show the lady what great shape you're in.
09:36Okay, lady, punch Sonny in the stomach.
09:39Are you kidding?
09:40I don't go around punching men in public.
09:44Go ahead, he can take it.
09:47Okay.
09:48What did I tell you, huh?
10:00Well, if you was to punch Eddie like that, he'd fall apart.
10:03Yeah, well, I'm not going to be the one who's punching Eddie. Sonny is.
10:07I'm sorry, lady.
10:08Now, maybe if Eddie trains a few months, I might come take a look at him.
10:11Well, they'll sell the flower shop by then.
10:14What?
10:15I mean, training. If training is all you're worried about, Eddie's been training all along.
10:22I ain't noticed him around the gym.
10:24Oh, well, you see, he's been at a private training camp.
10:28Oh, you should see him.
10:29He's strong enough to beat the Manasseh Mauler.
10:33The Manasseh Mauler?
10:34That's Dempsey, Jack Dempsey.
10:37I know who that is, yeah.
10:40Well, maybe I ought to come with you and take a look at Eddie.
10:43Oh, no, no, no. I'll bring him down here to see you.
10:46When?
10:47About three weeks.
10:49Say, what training camps are you at? Lefty Latimer's?
10:53No, Killer Carmichael.
10:553-0-3.
11:023-0-4.
11:073-0-5.
11:10Is it time to quit yet?
11:12No, you can't quit. You've got to do your road work.
11:143-0-6.
11:19Lucy, this is my first day in training.
11:21Give me a break, please.
11:22Take 310 laps around that couch and make a mile.
11:25Now get going.
11:26Oh, no.
11:303-0-7.
11:31The couch gets longer each time around.
11:353-0-8.
11:363-0-9.
11:45310, that's a mile.
11:49What was that?
11:51Time for your knee bends.
11:52Knee bends? No, I can't.
11:54Come on, Eddie.
11:55I can't, Lucy. Please, I can't.
11:56Eddie, please, we have to do knee bends now.
11:58I can't with knee bends.
11:59Now, come on, Eddie.
12:00Every day we have to do our knee bends to tighten up these muscles, remember?
12:03Uh, muscles.
12:04Okay, hands on your hips.
12:05Hands on your hips.
12:06Down you go.
12:07One.
12:08Very slowly.
12:09Straighten your back.
12:10Straighten your back.
12:11Hold your head up, Eddie.
12:12Two.
12:13Three.
12:14Down all the way.
12:15You're making me die crazy.
12:16Straighten your back, Eddie.
12:17Now, come on.
12:18You know how to train.
12:19Come on.
12:20Four.
12:21And up.
12:22And five.
12:23Eddie.
12:24Eddie, Eddie, listen to me.
12:26Now, listen.
12:27You have got to work up the 25 knee bends a day.
12:30No, I can't.
12:31There's no way.
12:32Well, what's that?
12:33The dishwasher.
12:34That's our signal for your weigh-in.
12:35Get on the scale.
12:36Here, hold these.
12:40Books?
12:41Yeah, the scales are off.
12:43But it comes out exactly right if you hold the decline and fall of the Roman Empire and
12:49Spanish books.
12:52A hundred and sixty-six pounds.
12:54Oh, Eddie, that will never do.
12:56No good.
12:57No good.
12:58I got to get rid of this spare tire.
12:59Spare tire?
13:00That's not rubber.
13:01That's blubber.
13:02What?
13:03Somebody's at the door.
13:04No, no, no.
13:05It's the timer on the washing machine.
13:07That means you've got to jump rope and my laundry is done.
13:11Oh, no.
13:12Oh, no.
13:13Forget it.
13:14Eddie, come on.
13:15Where's your pep?
13:16I got no more pep.
13:17I got no more pep.
13:18It's all poop.
13:19I can't jump.
13:20Come on.
13:21Sure you can.
13:22You just make a game of it.
13:23Now, watch.
13:24I can't.
13:25Hey, my name is Lucy and I come from Alba Juicy where I sell onions.
13:31I never learned anything.
13:32Just jump to the words.
13:33No, sir.
13:34I never learned those jumping poems.
13:36That's it.
13:37I can't.
13:38Come on, Eddie.
13:39I'll jump with you.
13:40I can't.
13:41Now, you're going to have to get with it, Eddie, or you'll never make it.
13:43Please, Lucy.
13:44Now, get in position.
13:45I'm in position.
13:46I'll jump with you.
13:47I can't.
13:48Yes, you can, Eddie.
13:49Yes, you can.
13:50Are you ready?
13:51I hope so.
13:52January, February, April, May.
13:59This is what your parents say, and you'll be a great big boy someday.
14:06January.
14:07The bell.
14:08The bell.
14:09Where's the bell?
14:10All right.
14:11Never mind the bell.
14:12It's the telephone.
14:13You keep jumping.
14:15Hello.
14:16Oh, hello, Mr. Mooney.
14:18Uh, no, sir.
14:19No, sir.
14:20I can't come to work tomorrow either.
14:21Well, I'm too sick.
14:23I have the jumps.
14:24I mean the mouth.
14:27Mr. Mooney, I'm not allowed to leave my bed.
14:29I can't see anybody, and I can't go anywhere.
14:32Yes, sir.
14:34Goodbye, sir.
14:37Lucy.
14:38Eddie, what are you doing?
14:39Look at this.
14:40What?
14:41This plant has a bad taste of root rot.
14:43Oh, never mind the root rot.
14:45You're in training, Eddie.
14:46But, Lucy, if you don't root out the root rot, the whole plant will turn rotten.
14:50We'll root out the root rot later.
14:54Good heavens, Eddie.
14:55If you want to ever have your florist shop, you're going to have to forget about flowers.
14:59Hmm.
15:00Now, right now, all you've got to think about is fighting, fighting, fighting, fighting.
15:04You understand?
15:05Now, listen.
15:06I believe in you, Eddie.
15:07You're my kind of boy.
15:08And this fight with Shaw can mean a lot to you.
15:11Your picture in the paper.
15:12Your name on thousands of posters.
15:14Well, maybe one day they'll even name a stadium after you.
15:17I don't want that stuff anymore.
15:19Well, you want your florist shop, don't you?
15:21Yeah.
15:22Well, okay then.
15:23Put these on.
15:24Now, you have to keep punching this bag until the dishwasher finishes its drying cycle.
15:29I'll try not to let you down.
15:31I'll try not to let you down.
15:32All right.
15:33You know, I can teach you everything I know, but the rest is up to you.
15:37Now, get in there and start punching.
15:41All right.
15:42A little harder.
15:43Harder!
15:44Harder!
15:45Mabel!
15:49Well, Eddie, things are looking up.
15:51I'm sorry, Lucy.
15:52Don't apologize.
15:53It's been years since I've fallen for a man.
16:02Oh, yeah, Mary Jane.
16:04You should see Eddie.
16:05And you should see that left jab of his now.
16:08Yeah, and he's down to 160 pounds.
16:10That's his fighting weight.
16:12Well, he's really been getting the feel of it these last few days.
16:16Hey, I gotta hang up now.
16:17Eddie's due any minute.
16:18And besides, I don't want the phone to be busy if Mr. Mooney should call.
16:21Yeah, he thinks I'm too sick to get out of bed and answer it.
16:25Bye.
16:28Come on in, champ!
16:39Mr. Mooney.
16:40Mrs. Carmichael, would you tell me why you have a volleyball hanging in your living room?
16:44Oh, well, I saw an article in a magazine about pop art.
16:49And it was called, um, uh, Creative Decorating Hints with Volleyballs.
16:55Do you like it?
16:56No.
16:57I thought you were supposed to be deathly ill.
16:59How are your mumps?
17:01Oh, they're swell.
17:02I mean, the swelling is wrong.
17:04Uh, I found out it wasn't the mumps.
17:07What was it?
17:08It turned out to be root rot.
17:11The whole room looked like it had root rot.
17:20Oh, well, I wasn't expecting company.
17:22Well, this isn't a social call.
17:24Oh.
17:25Now, do you remember that fellow from The Florist?
17:28Uh, what fellow?
17:30Uh, uh, Rickles, Rickles.
17:32Pickles, Pickles?
17:33No, not Pickles, Rickles.
17:35No, not Pickles, Rickles.
17:36Oh, well, I have been trying to reach him everywhere and he has disappeared.
17:40I don't remember him at all.
17:47Mrs. Carmichael, this is the front door.
17:49Oh.
17:50I already bought my Girl Scout cookies, little girl.
17:53Go away.
17:56How did you know that was a Girl Scout?
17:58Oh, I can tell by the way they ring the doorbell.
18:01Oh.
18:02Huh?
18:05Now, about this Rickles.
18:07I...
18:10Go on, I'm listening.
18:13Uh, well...
18:14I want you to call every florist in town.
18:16You find...
18:17You find out...
18:18Oh, all right, I'll buy the cookies!
18:21Come here, little girl!
18:25Hi, Lucy!
18:27Boy, good morning.
18:28I'm right on time.
18:29Hello, Mr. Moody.
18:30Boy, do I feel great.
18:32I'm ready to work.
18:33I know where Rickles was, eh?
18:36What's she doing here?
18:38I'm letting Eddie work out here, Mr. Mooney.
18:40He's going to fight again.
18:41Fight?
18:42Why should he do a ridiculous thing like that?
18:44Because he wants to buy a florist shop, that's why.
18:46And a certain cheapskate wouldn't lend him the money.
18:50Well, he doesn't have to borrow any money now.
18:52What do you mean?
18:53Eddie, my boy, I have good news for you.
18:55I have just gotten you a five-year contract to be the head designer for the flower show.
19:02Oh, Mr. Mooney!
19:03Eddie, can you hear that?
19:05Sonny won't last three rounds with me.
19:07I'll destroy him!
19:08That's what I'll do!
19:09Pow!
19:10I'll tear him apart!
19:11Pow!
19:12Eddie, Eddie, listen to me.
19:14What Mr. Mooney is offering you will make you famous.
19:16The most famous florist in California.
19:19Are you kidding?
19:20With these fists, I'm going to be famous all over the world!
19:24The cheering crowds!
19:25My picks are in the paper!
19:27They'll idolize me!
19:28The adoring mob!
19:29And I owe it all to you, manager!
19:32Eddie, please, listen to reason, will you?
19:35What about your flower shop?
19:37That's for peasants!
19:38You never heard of a sports arena named after a florist?
19:41Eddie, what's happened to you?
19:43Something big.
19:44You gave it to me, Lucy.
19:46You gave me something that every fighter needs!
19:49The killer instinct!
19:56He gave that to me years ago!
20:03Oh, boy, I turned a florist into a monster!
20:06Well, you better get him to take that job!
20:09Oh, what difference does it make to you?
20:11I'll tell you what difference it makes to me!
20:13My wife was so impressed with the flowers you ordered,
20:16she made me promise to hire him for the flower show!
20:20What's your wife got to do with the flower show?
20:22She's running it!
20:23That's what she's going to do with it!
20:24All right, all right.
20:25You better get him to take that job,
20:27or armor will destroy me!
20:30I'll give you a tip, Teddy Boy!
20:32Don't bet your money on Shaw!
20:34I'm gonna demolish!
20:36Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
20:39Sounds like armor!
20:41You better get him to take that job!
20:43Come on, Margaret!
20:44Come on, Margaret!
20:52Today, I'm gonna do three miles around the couch!
20:55And then I'm gonna do an extra 15 minutes on the peg!
20:58Pow! Pow!
20:59Boy, I'm gonna kill!
21:01Pow! Pow!
21:02What I need is a sparring partner!
21:04From now on, it's gonna be nothing but fighting!
21:07Fighting!
21:08Fighting!
21:09Listen to me!
21:10Listen to reason!
21:11Lick the world!
21:12That's what I'm gonna do!
21:13I can say it all now!
21:15Dames!
21:16Foreign cars!
21:17Custom-made shirts!
21:18Front tables at nightclubs!
21:20Ha-
21:38Boy, look at me, hot as a rock
21:57I was nuts to retire
21:59I got a lot of living to do, that's what I got
22:02Oh, you got a lot of living to do, huh?
22:05Well, put up your dutes
22:06Put up my dutes
22:08Yeah
22:08Are you kidding?
22:10I can't use you as a sparring partner
22:12What's the matter, you chicken?
22:14You afraid I'll give you a fat lip to go with your fat head?
22:17What is it with you?
22:18I just want to show you that you're washed up, Eddie
22:21You're a has-been
22:22You're even worse than that
22:23You're a never-one
22:25Now, just a second
22:26Yeah, just a second
22:27Get on there, put up your dutes
22:29Look who wants to fight Sonny Shaw
22:31You're even afraid to fight a girl
22:33Now, put that out
22:34Now, you frighten me, Eddie
22:36You're rotten
22:36Oh, you're so tough, Eddie
22:39Eddie Rickles
22:40World champion of the chicken division
22:43That's what you are
22:45Come on, put up your dutes
22:46Okay
22:47Ah, get your crummy hands off me, you punchy palooka
22:54Punchy palooka?
22:55Yeah
22:56I'll show you
22:57Go ahead
22:58Give me your best punch
22:59Right here on the butt
23:01Is that where you want it?
23:02That's it and be careful you don't hurt your head
23:05Yeah, right on the butt
23:06Go ahead
23:06Okay, Eddie
23:07Oh, Eddie
23:13Eddie, I didn't mean to do it
23:15I didn't want to do it
23:17I know, I hope I didn't hurt you, Eddie
23:19I just wanted you to listen to reason
23:21Eddie
23:22Oh, Eddie
23:24Eddie
23:25Eddie
23:27Eddie, you're gonna have to take some more aspirin
23:29Open your mouth
23:30You're gonna feel better now, Eddie
23:40You're gonna feel just fine, honey
23:42I'm gonna quit boxing for good this time
23:45Imagine
23:46I got a glass jaw
23:48Yeah
23:49You're lucky you found out in time
23:52I got a glass jaw
23:54I can't believe
23:56A glass jaw
23:58Oh, it's a good thing you got him to change his mind
24:01Eddie, my boy
24:02Let me be the first to congratulate you
24:03You will never regret taking this job
24:06Oh, don't thank me
24:07It was Lucy
24:08She's the one that made me change my mind
24:10Oh?
24:10Oh, well, all I did was make him listen to reason
24:13Reason?
24:15You?
24:15You never used reason around the office
24:18Why don't you try a little reason on me?
24:21Eddie, did I tell you
24:23If you have to show up at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning
24:26Do you think he's gonna
24:27Mr. Mooney
24:32Mr. Mooney
24:34Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:35Mr. Mooney
24:37Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:39Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:40Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:42Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:44Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:45Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:46Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:47Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:48Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:48Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:49Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:49Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:50Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:50Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:51Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:52Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:52Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:53Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:54Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:55Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:56Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:57Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:57Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:58Oh, Mr. Mooney
24:59Oh, Mr. Mooney
25:00Oh, Mr. Mooney
25:01Oh, Mr. Mooney
25:01Oh, Mr. Mooney
25:03Oh, Mr. Mooney
25:04Oh, Mr. Mooney
25:05¶¶
25:15¶¶
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